WHAT ARE THE 4 MOST IMPORTANT PRIORITIES IN A MARRIAGE OR A RELATIONSHIP WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?


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TELL THE TRUTH!!!!!!

TELLING THE TRUTH OR BEING HONEST OR BEING SINCERE ALL MEAN THE SAME THING AND ARE NECESSARY TO MAINTAIN TRUST OR THE STRONGEST BOND IN A RELATIONSHIP.

LIE ABOUT SOMETHING OR MAKE UP AN UNTRUE EXCUSE FOR YOUR BAD AND/OR WRONG BEHAVIOR AND A TRUSTING RELATIONSHIP STARTS TO DECREASE AND ANXIETY CAN START TO ENTER A RELATIONSHIP WITH A CONSTANT INSECURE FEELING.

IS MY SPOUSE OR SIGNIFICANT OTHER TELLING ME THE TRUTH THIS TIME BECAUSE I HAVE SOME SUSPICIONS ABOUT IT BASED ON PRIOR EXPERIENCES OF LIES AND/OR UNTRUE EXCUSES?

YOU DON’T WANT YOUR SPOUSE OR SIGNIFICANT OTHER START DOUBTING WHAT YOU SAY IS A FACT BUT YOU WANT TOTAL SECURITY IN A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP AND THAT MEANS HONESTY OR TRUTHFULLNESS 100% OF THE TIME WITHOUT EXCEPTIONS!

THERE IS NO ACCEPTABLE “WHITE LIE” IN A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP ATTEMPTED ERRONEOUSLY TO AVOID HURT FEELINGS. IT IS BETTER TO HURT SOMEONES FEELINGS A LITTLE WITH THE TRUTH RATHER THAN MAKING UP AN UNTRUE EXCUSE HOPING TO AVOID HURT FEELINGS IN THE RELATIONSHIP.

IF ONE OF YOU PREPARES A MEAL AND IT GETS BURNT OR THERE IS TOO MUCH SPICING OR TOO MUCH SALT OR TOO MUCH SUGAR POLITELY SAY- THE MEAL WAS GOOD AND IT IS PROBABLY THE WAY YOU LIKE IT BUT FOR ME I FELT THAT THERE WAS A LITTLE TOO MUCH SALT OR TOO MUCH SPICING WHICH IS NOT MY FAVORITE OR THERE WAS TOO MUCH SUGAR ADDED TO BE VERY TASTY FOR ME. TO RESOLVE THE PROBLEM MAYBE YOU CAN SUGGEST THAT IN THE FUTURE YOU WILL ADD YOUR OWN SALT OR SUGAR OR ADD YOUR OWN SPICES WHICH YOU LIKE AFTER THE MEAL IS PREPARED WITH NOTHING ADDED. IF THE MEAL WAS BURNT THEN JUST EAT THE PART THAT WAS NOT BURNT AND DON’T MAKE A LARGE CONFRONTATION OR COMPLAIN ABOUT IT IN AN UNPLEASANT WAY.

IF YOU ARE A MALE AND THE TOPIC OF NEW CLOTHES EXISTS DON’T COMMUNICATE THAT IS A BEAUTIFUL OUTFIT OR I LIKE IT MUCH IF YOU DON’T. BE MORE SPECIFIC ABOUT THE CLOTHING AND MAKE FACTUAL COMMUNICATIONS INSTEAD OF EMOTIONAL ONES. SAY THE PATTERN IS A LITTLE TOO BUSY OR THE COLORS CLASH A LITTLE OR THAT IS NOT ONE OF MY FAVORITE COLORS OR I LIKE MORE CASUAL CLOTHING OR IT IS A LITTLE TOO FANCY.

IF YOU LIKE THE OUTFIT DON’T EMOTIONALLY SAY I LOVE IT OR IT IS GREAT BUT SAY FACTUALLY WHAT YOU LIKE ABOUT THE OUTFIT.

I LIKE THE COLOR COMBINATION OR THE PATTERN HAS EYE APPEAL BECAUSE IT DOESN’T CLASH OR THAT IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE COLORS OR THE LOW CUT NECKLINE IS SEXY.

AVIOD COMMENTS SUCH AS THE CLOTHES MAKE YOU LOOK THIN OR THE CLOTHES MAKE YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE THERE WILL BE AN ASSUMPTION THAT YOU THINK SHE LOOKS FAT IN OTHER CLOTHES AND NOT BEAUTIFUL IN OTHER CLOTHES.

REMEMBER NO CLOTHING MAKES YOU LOOK THINNER OR MORE BEAUTIFUL IF THE PERSON HIM OR HER SELF IS NOT THIN AND BEAUTIFUL BASED ON YOUR COMPLETE STANDARDS OF PERFECTION.

PUNCTUALITY IS ONE OF THE PRIMARY AREAS OF FRICTION IN RELATIONSHIPS. IF YOU PROMISE TO BE HOME OR SOMEWHERE FOR AN APPOINTMENT TRY TO KEEP THAT APPOINTMENT OR BE HOME ON TIME BECAUSE IF YOU ARE LATE YOU HAVE FAILED A PROMISE AND THAT CAN BE CONSIDERED TO BE A LIE. BY NOT BEING ON TIME YOU ARE WASTING THE TIME AND ENERGY AND SOMETIMES MONEY OF THE HUMAN BEING AFFECTED. YOU DON’T LIKE YOUR TIME AND ENERGY BEING WASTED SO DON’T WASTE OTHER HUMAN’S TIME AND ENERGY AND EVEN MONEY IF IT IS A BUSINESS APPOINTMENT OR AN ISSUE ABOUT SHOWING UP AT WORK ON TIME.

APPOLOGIZE IF YOU HAVE MADE A MISTAKE AND APPOLOGIZE IF YOU FEEL YOU ARE RIGHTA BUT YOU HAVE HURT SOME FEELINGS.

ALMOST EVERYONE FEELS OR WOULD LIKE TO FEEL THAT THEY ARE NEVER WRONG AND NEVER DO ANYTHING BAD TO JUSTIFY CRITICISM BUT REALIZE THAT NO HUMAN IS PERFECT AND NO MATTER HOW LARGE YOUR FEELINGS OF SUPERIORITY ARE YOU WILL MAKE MISTAKES AND BEHAVE BADLY AND INJURE YOUR SPOUSE’S OR SIGNIFICANT OTHER’S FEELINGS MANY TIMES IN A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP.

IF A MISTAKE AND/OR A BAD BEHAVIOR IS POINTED OUT TO YOU OR THERE IS A COMPLAINT ABOUT IT DON’T TRY TO ALWAYS JUSTIFY THE MISTAKE AND/OR BAD BEHAVIOR WITH SOME KIND OF AN EXCUSE THAT YOU WEREN’T THINKING RIGHTA OR THAT YOUR MIND GOT SIDETRACKED OR YOU DON’T THINK THAT IT IS SUCH A BIG DEAL IN THE FIRST PLACE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT.

DON’T MAKE UNTRUE PROMISES THAT IT WON’T HAPPEN AGAIN BECAUSE IT WILL BE A LIE AND YOUR BAD HABITS WILL CONTINUE ON INTO THE FUTURE AND YOU WILL MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE AND/OR DO THE SAME BAD BEHAVIOR AT SOME POINT IN THE FUTURE.

SAY “SORRY THAT I HURT YOUR FEELINGS AND MADE YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT IT”  THOUGH YOU KNOW YOU WERE RIGHTA AND WILL PROBABLY CONTINUE TO MAKE THE MISTAKE AND/OR BAD BEHAVIOR IN THE FUTURE ALSO. EVEN IF YOU THINK YOU ARE RIGHTA ABOUT SOME INSIGNIFICANT MISTAKE AND/OR BAD BEHAVIOR DON’T MAKE A LARGE DEAL ABOUT IT AND A SIMPLE “SORRY” IS ALL THAT YOU SHOULD SAY AS A RESPONSE TO A COMPLAINT ABOUT YOUR SEEMINGLY INSIGNIFICANT BEHAVIOR.

IF IT IS A MORE SERIOUS MISTAKE AND/OR BEHAVIOR SUCH AS DOING TOO MUCH IMPULSE BUYING OR SPENDING TOO MUCH MONEY ON CAR ACCESSORIES THEN A LONGER DISCUSSION IS NECESSARY AND SORRY WILL NOT BE A SUFFICIENT RESPONSE.

LET YOUR SPOUSE OR SIGNIFICANT OTHER COMPLETE HIS OR HER COMMUNICATION AND/OR EMOTIONALLY INTENSE REACTIONS BEFORE YOU COMMUNICATE ANYTHING AS A REACTION

ONE OF THE LARGEST MISTAKES WHICH YOU CAN MAKE IN A RELATIONSHIP IS TRYING TO DOMINATE EVERY COMMUNICATION WITH YOUR PERSONAL OPINIONS OR THOUGHTS ON AN ISSUE OR PROBLEM. TAKE YOUR TIME TO LISTEN CAREFULLY WHAT IS BEING COMMUNICATED AND DETERMINE WHETHER IT IS SOMETHING YOU WISH TO GET INVOLVED IN.

IF ONE IS VERY ANGRY AND/OR VERY STRESSED IT IS PROBABLY BEST TO HEAR THE ANGRY AND/OR STRESSED COMMUNICATION AND THEN ONLY TRY TO POSTPONE A DISCUSSION ABOUT IT AT A LATER TIME WHEN THE EMOTION IS NO LONGER AT ITS MOST INTENSE. ANGER AND STRESS GOES AWAY AFTER PEAKS OF INTENSE EXPRESSION SO WAIT UNTIL THERE IS NO LONGER A COMBATIVE ATMOSPHERE TO THEN DISSCUSS THE PROBLEM AND TRY TO FIND A SOLUTION TO IT.

IF SOMEONE IS VERY EMOTIONAL FOR SOME REASON IT IS THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE OTHER PARTY TO BE AS CALM AND COLLECTED AS POSSIBLE OR OPEN WARFARE MAY RESULT WITH HURT FEELINGS AND LINGERING RESENTMENT IF SOMETHING HURTFULL IS SAID DURING A HEATED ARGUMENT AND YOU CAN’T TAKE BACK WORDS WHICH YOU WILL BE SORRY FOR OR REGRET LATER.

WHEN YOU FINALLY FIND THE RIGHTA TIME TO TALK ABOUT A PROBLEM START ASKING AS MANY PROBING QUESTIONS AS POSSIBLE SUCH AS:

WHAT DID I DO THAT MADE YOU SO ANGRY?

IS THIS THE FIRST TIME MY BEHAVIOR GOT TO YOU OR HAS IT BEEN SIMMERING IN YOU FOR A LONG TIME BECAUSE I HAVE DONE THIS VERY FREQUENTLY IN THE PAST?

WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST I DO TO AVOID THIS HAPPENING AGAIN IN THE FUTURE?

HAVE YOU EVER DONE SOMETHING LIKE THIS IN THE PAST AND IF SO HOW DID YOU HANDLE IT?

ARE THERE OTHER PEOPLE YOU KNOW WHO HAVE HAD THE SAME PROBLEM WE ARE HAVING RIGHT NOW AND DO YOU KNOW HOW THEY DEALT WITH IT?

WHO COULD WE GO FOR ADVICE ON THIS PROBLEM BECAUSE WE CAN’T SEEM TO SOLVE IT OURSELVES?

FORGIVE THE HUMAN FOR MAKING A MISTAKE AND/OR DOING A BAD BEHAVIOR

IF YOU ARE THE VICTIM OF ADULTERY OR INFIDELITY OR ARE BEING LIED TO CONSTANTLY THEN IT IS TIME TO MOVE ON TO A NEW RELATIONSHIP AND PUT A STOP TO THE IMMORAL RELATIONSHIP WHICH WILL NEVER WORK OUT IN THE SHORT DURATION OR THE LONG DURATION. HAVE NO REGRETS DOING SO BECAUSE EXISTING WITH IMMORALITY WILL ONLY CREATE MORE AND MORE UNPLEASANT FEELINGS AND EPISODES OF HATE AND ANGER AND JEALOSY AND FEAR OF ABANDONMENT WHICH NO HUMAN SHOULD BE LIVING UNDER THOSE UNACCEPTABLE CIRCUMSTANCES.

FOR ALL OTHER MISTAKES AND/OR BAD BEHAVIORS TRY TO WORK IT OUT GRADUALLY AND DON’T EXPECT INSTANT SOLUTIONS TO THE PROBLEMS.

ABOVE ALL DON’T DO THE MISTAKES AND/OR BAD BEHAVIOR YOURSELF TO PROVE YOUR POINT.

WELL NOW THAT I HAVE DONE THE SAME THING HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT IT?

DON’T SEEK REVENGE OR FEEL LINGERING RESENTMENT OR KEEP MENTIONING THE BAD BEHAVIOR IN FUTURE COMMUNICATIONS TO TRY TO MAKE YOUR POINT ABOUT BEING RIGHTA AND JUSTIFIED.

SAY I FORGIVE YOU AND MOVE ON AND TRY NOT TO BRING UP THE SAME INCIDENT IN FUTURE DISCUSSIONS AND/OR ARGUMENTS ESPECIALLY IF THE SUBJECT MATTER IS DIFFERENT AND HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE BAD INCIDENT.

YOU SHOULD BE WORKING AS A TEAM CARING AND LOVING EACH OTHER AND NOT DEVIATING INTO DESTRUCTIVE COMBATIVE COMMUNICATION BEHAVIOR WHICH IS A FORM OF WARFARE BETWEEN ENEMIES.

YOUR SPOUSE OR SIGNIFICANT OTHER SHOULD NEVER BE THOUGHT OF AS AN ENEMY TO BE BLUDGEONED TO DEATH WITH YOUR GREAT POWERS OF DOMINANT COMMUNICATIONS AND BEHAVIOR.

IT SHOULD NOT BE A MASTER AND SLAVE REALATIONSHIP OR I AM THE BOSS AND YOU WILL ALWAYS LISTEN TO ME BECAUSE I AM ALWAYS RIGHTA.

LEARN TO GIVE AND TAKE ADVICE WITH AS LITTLE EMOTIONAL INTENSITY INTERFERING IN THE COMMUNICATIONS PROCESS AS POSSIBLE BECAUSE YOU ARE BEST FRIENDS AND WANT TO REMAIN SO ON INTO THE DISTANT FUTURE!!!!!!

IF YOU FOUND THIS BLOG (ULDISSPROGIS.COM) HELPFUL LEARN MORE ABOUT GOOD HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS IN MY THREE BOOKS LOVEALL AND MODERN PARENTING AND GOOD MODERN BEHAVIORS!!!!!!

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