Daily Archives: February 16, 2013

10 MONEY MISTAKES WHICH CAN THREATEN A MARRIAGE

ARGUING COUPLES

Money problems and infidelity are the two primary sources of divorce. You can solve the infidelity problem with selfcontrol and a moral conviction that infidelity is wrong and will cause distrust and jealousy and anger and a fear of abandonment which can all speedily end in divorce- so don’t even think about adultery!

Not being frugal enough with money and excessive financial debt will end in divorce but there are minor but important reasons which can also shorten the duration to divorce. The reasons are:

Not communicating about spending money over a monthly goal which you should set for yourself

If you want to spend money beyond the limit of your monthly income  discuss it with your spouse and decide whether it is something you really need to do or whether it is an impulse buy that you desire emotionally. Only talking about whether to exceed your income for a short duration before you do it is the right thing to do and will prevent emotional arguments blaming each other for overspending.

Believing that you can buy a loving marriage

It is true that having a good job and high income will attract the opposite sex into marriage but if you put too much effort into making more money during a marriage it will become a source of conflict. If you believe that buying an expensive gift and/or a luxury car and/or expensive diamond will compensate for an absence of loving and caring interactions you are very wrong. A loving relationship means that you participate in many caring behaviors with your spouse or are very nurturing and protective towards him or her in many ways. To get a better idea on what loving behaviors you should be practicing or doing with your spouse read my book LOVEALL.

Ignoring opposite spending habits

If one spouse decides that the other is almost always spending money foolishly and/or impulsively and either wasting it or going into credit card debt then this is a strong reason for possible divorce especially if you are the thrifty personality and think before you spend almost every dollar and feel stolen from with wasted money. A nonutilitarian spouse coupled with a frugal spouse frequently causes financial destruction and many arguments about money to short duration divorce.

Not knowing how to divide up money

You may not know whether joint or separate accounts are better for the marriage. If both of you like to communicate about your spending habits and don’t get stressed communicating about money and spending it and saving it then a joint account is probably a good way to go.

If you both are employed and make your own money but don’t like to communicate about money spending then it is best to keep separate accounts so that money arguments will be easier to resolve when they exist. If one spouse’s account is always much in debt then the cause of financial difficulties can be known speedily and accurately and the responsible party gets the complete blame and has to change her or his bad money spending habits.

Too much debt

There is nothing more stressful than taking on high interest difficult to pay back credit card debt which seems to never leave but constantly unpleasantly threaten. How to be debt free and live economically in COMMON SENSE will help you to get out of debt and stay there.

Hiding your debt or purchases from your spouse

If you feel guilty about your excessive debt or purchases and try to hide this from your spouse you will create much distrust and anger in a relationship once the deception is revealed which it eventually will because there is a high probability that your spouse will reveal the treachery to a friend who will then reveal it to you.

A good way to stop deception is to ask about twice a year to observe the account balance in a credit card(s) which your spouse has in his or her name only. If there is deception then it will be revealed. Honesty which maintains trust in a relationship is necessary and if you mentally sense deception then ask to see the credit card(s). If the spouse communicates “don’t you trust me?” say “prove it to me because I have doubts about your nonutilitarian impulsive habits which exist and are greatly stressing me!”.

Borrowing or lending money from or to family

If the amount is over a thousand dollars sign a legal binding contract such as an IOU with date of transaction and a date by which the money should be repaid. You will avoid many arguments and not need excuses about how you couldn’t pay back on time or have to beg a hundred times for the lent money to be repaid to you. Not only can money problems threaten a marriage but it can also threaten good relationships with relatives and can be one of the primary reasons for bad interactions with them.

Believing that men should have the responsibility for investing money and women should concentrate on daily expenses

Unless you consider yourself to be a professional financial investor share your investment ideas with your wife because traditional investing in the stock market is not a safe long duration or short duration investment but a losing gambling house for the average and million dollar investor. The really big money and computers are controlling the short duration movement of stocks in the stock market and this makes investing a really unprofitable for most. If you want short duration security for your money and feel that you must invest then invest mostly in large cap stocks or big corporations with large dividend yields. In the short duration this is a better investment than keeping your money in a bank savings account.

Banks these days are paying almost no interest on savings accounts because they don’t need your money but get it from the government. If you have a large savings account in a bank then inflation will reduce its value in the long duration. This means that the bank is stealing your money by reducing its value every year. This is no reason to panic and invest in very risky stocks and loose much money in a very short duration.

Failing to understand that money problems can frequently cause many short or long duration existences of emotional displeasure and arguments

Emotional displeasure and arguments about money problems cause periodic stress and many additional durations of unhappiness. Unhappiness is caused by only remembering the money problem which does not stop speedily. The emotional relatively short and sometimes longer durations of stress continue as long as the money problem exists unsolved.

Those humans without money reserves and frequent financial crises frequently have to make short duration loans or borrow money speedily or suffer transportation loss for short durations until enough income is saved to repay. Those working in low paying jobs and living from paycheck to paycheck with no money reserves suffer the most emotional displeasure and arguments.

Not spending your money on common experiences

Common experiences or doing things together suchas both going to wine or food tasting in a fancy restaurant or going to a national park together gives longer duration pleasure and can become a good memory for reflection.

You should always anticipate new common experiences more than reflecting too much because this is the boring fate of many old people who are living in past memories and frequently can’t adapt to new subsets existing in the environment. Don’t communicate and repeat the same exciting old common experience frequently or you will start boring your spouse or close friends.

If you are trying to make new friends repeating communications about old experiences too frequently will frighten a potential new friend away. Don’t live too much in the past but plan new experiences for the future and fulfill those plans if you can and if they are not too expensive.

IF YOU LIKED THIS ARTICLE YOU WILL FIND MANY MORE IN MY BOOK COMMON SENSE. ENJOY!!!!!!