Love War Blog Single Mom

Historically marriage was the sharing of responsibilities and using different skills for mutual benefit and the benefit of offspring. Getting married meant mutual moral and emotional and informational and monetary help and living through the good and bad times together and basically pooling resources and different abilities to live life to its fullest. There was a pride in having offspring and a good spouse which was socially recognized and rewarded with a secure sexual and social life.

Today an independent successful female making an adequate income to support offspring no longer realistically needs the financial help of a male and that means that they have less intimate and practical bonding behaviors in common and realistically don’t really need each other except perhaps for an exclusive sexual relationship.

What bonds humans together is mutual realistic needs and if each spouse can operate independently then neither really needs each other tangibly. Being financially independent means that you will have to find mutually interesting activities to participate in together and find common goals to strive for if serious bonding is to develop in the interactive relationship.

You can pretend to be a perfect spouse by showing more adoration, being more appreciative, not nagging or picking arguments, laughing at annoying habits, accepting shortcomings which don’t impact you significantly, fighting fair and fast, letting stuff go, making sex a priority no matter what, compromising more, listening more, and not dwelling on the bad things in the relationship and you will still not be forming a strong bonding relationship with your spouse which will justify the marriage and make it a success.

Being a good friendly personality does not make a long duration marriage work unless there is true mutual interdependency which means that you each have many things that the other has and you don’t.

If you are a modern divorced financially successful woman with offspring I empathize with your almost hopeless circumstance in trying to find and keep a good male spouse in a marriage for a long duration. Mentally make all the plans in your mind to change your behavior so that you theoretically will have a successful marriage which you may want to have in your mind but unless there is realistic mutual need your quest for a great second marriage will fail no matter how perfect your behavior becomes. If you find a male who wants the added responsibility of caring for offspring who are not his genetic offspring then you have truly found a one in a thousand male which you should marry as speedily as possible!!!!!!

If you liked this evergreen blog then read more of them and try one or more of my books, especially COMMON SENSE.


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