Daily Archives: May 25, 2013


Friends - one teenage girl comforts another

Helping someone frequently means an investment of time, energy, and rarely money. If money is the issue then it is best not to give any but recommend that they better manage their finances.

Loaning money to friends and relatives in need frequently results in broken friendships and relationships because the money is never paid back and lingering resentment ends the relationship sooner or later.

If they are employed recommend short duration loan companies like Amscot to get emergency money and if they are unemployed recommend that they apply for food stamps but refuse to give financial help.

Most financial problems are caused by overwhelming credit card debt, not budgeting money, and not having a savings account for financial emergencies. My evergreen book HOW TO SAVE MONEY is a very good reference for humans with money problems.

Very frequently when a friend is in trouble all they really want and frequently need is emotional support and empathy with their plight. Unless they ask for advice don’t always offer some because they will assume that you are criticizing them for not leading their lives in a proper way and may resent the advice given. If they do ask for help or advice then do the following.

Helping a friend is usually in the form of good intentioned advice after listening carefully to the problems that the friend is expressing and experiencing. Use your personal life experiences and personal knowledge to add to helpful advice which you think you can make.

If you can’t give advice maybe you can refer your friend to someone who can better help. Friendship is usually sharing life experiences both conversationally and physically.

If a friend seems to need help or advice give it to the best of your ability and be sincere. If there is something physical that you can do for a friend to help and it will not cost too much of your valuable time and effort and money then do it.

Some people just have friends so that they can “hang out” and have some company to use up their free time. Don’t do this because it will not help your life if you are not learning anything new or not experiencing a pleasurable pastime together.

Sometimes people make a mistake and don’t realize they have made one. Go through a description of their actions and see if they will begin to realize what the mistake was. If they still don’t see that they made a mistake or mistakes be sincere and communicate “That seems like a mistake(s) to me. What do you think?” If this question has no response then you will probably not be able to help in any rational way and you are probably wasting your time and should move on.

Everyone has the infrequent experience which greatly upsets and challenges their belief that they have the answer to everything. When something is troubling a friend or an acquaintance ask “what’s wrong?” and then listen to them express their fearful experience. It may upset you also but do your best to tap into your similar experiences and personal knowledge to give reassurance or some useful knowledge which might relate to the upsetting experience and try to emotionally calm the upset party.

When a person suffers a health fright their fear will often be difficult to understand. If it is a life threatening experience like a heart attack there is cause to be upset and only reassurance and listening to their fears will not help.

Suggest that most health warnings or problems are usually not fatal except for cancer and that with time the body will heal itself and the health fright will go away with the right nutrition and a localized exercise and/or rest for the area of pain. High blood pressure and signs of diabetes can be treated naturally without the need for constant medication. Offer help in the form of nutritional advice found in my blogs and you may succeed in calming down the health fright.

Helping someone to plan a visit is a logistical problem as well as a problem of scheduling things to do which may or may not be mutually beneficial. If the visiting guest can’t sleep over then suggest a nearby motel or hotel. Suggest a rental car or promise to drive them around in your own car if they don’t use their own car.

If they are not a close family relative or relatives then suggest possible interesting tourist sights which they could prepare for and visit. If it is a family affair and everyone wants to sleep over then ask them to bring air mattresses or provide them with some which you purchase yourself.

Helping someone prepare for a job interview may not be your strong point so suggest that they go on the internet and Google the information needed. In a nutshell your appearance is important and your resume should be sent prior to the interview and you should let the interviewer ask most of the questions to which you should respond in a sincerely and truthfully and enthusiastically where necessary.

Basically the job interviewer wants to know if you are experienced or a fast learner or are going to show up for work on time and if you seem to have an optimistic attitude and communication skills which will help in the job environment. Further education in the job field may also help to land a future job.

In this selfish, overly exposed to sex, modern society many humans need help with dating, family relationships, and finding close friendships. Many of my evergreen blogs cover these topics but if you want serious help and knowledge read one or more of my evergreen books LOVEALL, MODERN PARENTING, AND GOOD MODERN BEHAVIORS.


If you liked this evergreen blog then read more of them and read one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE.