Not enough money and an adulterous personality are the two major reasons which lead to a divorce and they are also the two major reasons for failed relationships. Avoid dating playboys and especially playboys and lazy uneducated men without a good job.
It is a mistake to date anyone who asks you for a date including losers and then having a very low opinion of men and assuming that all of them are irresponsible uncaring manipulative personalities unworthy of your attention. The best way to avoid disappointment and heartache is to avoid men without a job or men with jobs which are not stable or have poor income.
Stay away from men with no jobs and those who are bartenders, disk jockeys, musicians, models, actors, sports jocks, photographers, landscapers, cashiers and service workers working at minimum wage without an education and no plans for bettering themselves.
On online profiles avoid the handsome men, the ones who sound too good to be true, and those looking for a good time or fun in life. Once again follow up with a question about a job and possible future job plans to determine whether he will be worth your investment of time, energy, and money.
If he is divorced then really probe for as many reasons as you can find for why the marriage was not a success. If it was adultery or financial bankruptcy which was caused by overspending then avoid a date with that man.
This basic principle works both ways and unless you are very attractive then you should not be dating if you don’t have a job.
If you are stuck on an exhusband and are still in love with him then you will have a hard time learning to trust another man. You will have difficulty investing optimistic time not being convinced that there is not more than one soul mate in your life which you can find if you look hard enough and frequently enough.
Expecting the man to make the first move all the time is a mistake because the male ego hates rejection and some appropriate flirting may be advisable if you find someone whom you would really like to know better but seems to be ignoring you.
Dating only potential soul mates or twin flames means that you have probably set your standards too high and are overlooking the somewhat geeky or minimally attractive man with a good job and perhaps a better caring personality.
Not being courteous and polite on a date and not saying thank you to compliments and good behavior towards you such as paying for a meal is a mistake even if you think your date is a loser and you can’t wait for the date to end. You may not have a high opinion of him but he will have a better opinion of you if you are nice to him nevertheless.
Don’t pretend or be dishonest in the way that you behave on a date because in the short duration a misleading hope of appearing more desirable will kill the possibility of a trusting intimate relationship developing further along in the relationship if your lies are discovered which they eventually will be given enough time. Be honest, truthful, and sincere always and you should have no regrets no matter what happens.
Don’t ask uninteresting questions which are boring or without personal connections. Ask about family, best friends, exspouse, good and bad experiences, and favorite and not so favorite things in life. Birds of a feather tend to flock together and you will find out much useful information about your date if you find out who his favorite family member is or what interests his best friend has. You will also find out whether he blames his ex for the divorce or whether he feels he is partially to blame for the breakup. Near the end of the date you can ask what his plans are for the future if any or if there is something he would like to do in life which he can’t do right now.
Don’t talk too much about an exspouse and avoid laying all the blame on them for the relationship not working out. You can keep an answer short and sweet by stating that the relationship just didn’t work out and you both decided to move on with your lives.
Stay away from addictive (drugs, gambling, or alcohol) and abusive personalities which should be a red flag but which may be a dangerous personality which you are attracted to because of past bad experiences with addictive and abusive humans in your life which you now almost consider normal and attractive.
Not knowing your core needs. Although some core needs may differ there are generalized needs which most women have. They don’t want someone who is irresponsible with money, can’t be faithful, isn’t honest and sincere so he can’t be trusted, is a poor communicator with many personality flaws, and does not want offspring at any point in his life. If you are in a relationship just for the fling then core values are not important but you can develop a reputation as a loose woman and other knowing males will treat you accordingly without much respect.
You give sex too early in the relationship. In an era of sexual freedom women are encouraged to be as free with sex as the men. Unfortunately, men respect women more who don’t give sex freely but make them earn it by forming a close platonic relationship first. Just as most women are repulsed by promiscuous males most males consider promiscuous females to not be as worthy as mothers. Only have sex once you have learned enough about the male to consider him a potential keeper and not just a good time buddy.
Only when you learn that the man has decided to choose you as an exclusive partner should you completely turn off your non sexual relationships with other potential males. If a woman has more than one male non sexual friend she will be more desirable in the eyes of a potential suitor.
If it is an online profile don’t lie about your weight, age, or use a picture which is old or doctored. Your date will be very disappointed and wonder what else you are lying about and will start out not trusting you.
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