Daily Archives: July 22, 2013

5 SERIOUS TOPICS TO DISCUSS THOROUGHLY BEFORE MARRIAGE

Family Having Fun At Home Together

How many offspring will we have and when will we have them?

If you come from a large family you may want more offspring than your future spouse is willing or even able to support. Total agreement on the number of offspring is vital.

If you both have minimum wage jobs then offspring will be a severe time and financial burden on both of you. Until you are financially well off and stable don’t have any offspring and make plans for a possible realistic unwanted pregnancy.

Abortion or giving up the offspring for adoption is a logical solution which will have to be made if birth control does not work. Unplanned offspring appearing suddenly will frequently lead to a severe financial burden and speedily end in unwanted fierce marital turmoil, bankruptcy, and divorce.

 

In what religion will the offspring be raised if one or both of you are of different religions and true believers?

If you are a devout Baptist, catholic, or Jew then you and your parents may want the offspring to be raised in one and not two religions. One spouse will have to give in or compromise and choose a dominant religious affiliation for the offspring.  

Judeo Christian religions have many basic moral similarities but if you think that the traditions of one religion are stupid, trivial, or very unpleasant to deal with, a common morality may not be strong enough to overcome religious tradition biases or prejudices.

 

If religion plays a minor role in your lives what are the two most important moral convictions to have before getting married?

Believe that lying and adultery are immoral in a marriage and you will both have an excellent foundation to build a long duration happy marriage.

If you think that no morality is necessary in a modern marriage then you will be shocked into reality with a very unsuccessful one which will definitely end in divorce.

 

If one or both of you have dysfunctional inlaws with severe personality flaws or addictions (drugs, gambling, or alcohol) decide how you will minimize their impact on your lives?

Controlling inlaws who choose sides in a marital relationship is an extreme handicap and can lead to many spousal arguments and can even lead to divorce if the marriage is stressed financially also. Blame from the parents can lead to one spouse blaming the other for marital problems and it can quickly destabilize a marriage. If you are getting along well with each other then mutually decide to isolate imposing dysfunctional inlaws as much as possible.

What were the reasons you broke up with your exboyfriend or husband?

Fear of commitment and being overwhelmed by commitment financially are the major reasons males do not commit to marriage and can’t stay committed once married. Be realistic, family life means a great financial commitment which few males want, especially if the female does not have a good job or does not like to work and help greatly with the financial burden. Sex is relatively easy to find these days and there is no great social stigma for having it and not being married.

Offspring are expensive and require serious financial commitment from both spouses. Discuss long duration financial planning with your potential lifelong spouse. Offspring education after high school and the possibility of having to support young adults who can’t find jobs in an internet technological world of the future are realistic future expenses for the family budget.

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