Monthly Archives: September 2013

3 DOMINANT REASONS WHY OFFSPRING AND ADULTS SOMETIMES LIE AND/OR DECEIVE

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 1.     Humans lie and deceive for personal benefit and/or to benefit or to hurt others.

Rarely does a human lie to hurt themselves which is a form of masochism or a desperate attempt to get pity or sympathy from others and hopefully gain personally by manipulating another’s emotions. Beggars are sometimes real life examples of humans manipulating human emotions for personal benefit.

 2.     If a human is a member of a group then they may lie and deceive for mutual benefit. Doctors frequently deceive or do not report on the bad medical practices of their coworkers or fellow doctors and the result is hurting their profession as a whole.

 3.     Language with its one word emotional generalized descriptions is structured to make lying and deception inevitable and frequently unintentional.

 

Lying for personal benefit may be to maintain a good personal reputation or trying to hide an embarrassing, wrong, or immoral personal action which frequently deserves punishment. Lying about another human is sometimes done to maintain that human’s personal reputation for doing something embarrassing, wrong, or immoral which frequently deserves punishment.

 

Lying for personal benefit to be praised and/or rewarded for something they personally did not do which may hurt another who deserves the praise and/or reward.

 

Lying and deceiving may be done to hurt another’s reputation or to get praise, a reward, or a material possession from another which is frequently done for personal gain or vindictiveness at the expense of another.

 

Humans sometimes lie and deceive for personal short duration protection or benefit which they also erroneously hope will be long duration protection or benefit. Humans lie and deceive to protect, benefit, or hurt others. 

 

Language structure lies and deceives. Language is structured to give yes or no, love or hate, like or dislike, approve or disapprove, beautiful or ugly answers to questions but reality is frequently much different and there are seldom absolutes or generalities which convey the whole truth. Saying that a human is stupid is frequently a lie because that human does not do stupid things all the time.

 

You may love something about a gift but hate some aspect of it, you may think a dress has the potential to be beautiful if only it did not have one or two ugly features, and you may want to answer that it is yes most of the time but that there are exceptions to the rule and the answer is sometimes no.

 

An archaic language forces us to lie because of its absolute or general concepts and that is why prejudice prevails because stereotypes of ethnic and political groups are made which are seldom true in all cases for all members of an ethnic or political group. Blacks are lazy and Jews are stingy, Republicans are conservative and Democrats are liberal is the kind of bias which language structure is mostly to blame because of its tendency towards absolute or general one word emotional descriptions.

Offspring frequently try to lie to avoid punishment or condemnation for doing something bad, wrong, or immoral. If offspring hit their sibling or another offspring or steal some toy from a sibling or neighborhood offspring then they may lie to try and maintain a good reputation with their parents and avoid deserved punishment.

Adults are just like offspring and sometimes lie to maintain their reputation and avoid condemnation by others for doing something bad, wrong, or immoral. More frequently adults lie and deceive to get rewards and material benefits from others which they would not be able to do if they told the truth or behaved in trustworthy ways.

 

CONCLUSION:

Lying and deception are programmed into language usage and it is a struggle trying to use it logically in an unbiased non deceptive way. If you consciously or intentionally lie and deceive it is just a question of time before your lies and deceptions are revealed and your reputation will hit the toilet.

Trustworthiness is a history of being honest, sincere, and telling the truth reliably and that means that if you want an excellent social reputation and want to become a trustworthy leader someday then you should never intentionally lie or deceive.

Personal relationships with other humans, especially family and close friendships will also suffer if you intentionally lie or deceive.

Humans lie and deceive to get rewards that they don’t deserve and to avoid punishment because nature tries to be efficient and lying and deception sometimes seems to be the most efficient way of getting what you want or need, especially if you don’t feel that you will be caught in your lies and deceptions.

Deception is really a hidden lie which language promotes with its irrational, illogical, emotionally biased structure.

 

If you liked this evergreen blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE.

Enjoy!!!!!!

6 PSYCHOLOGICAL MYTHS YOU PROBABLY BELIEVE ARE TRUE

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You’ll feel better if you express your anger openly:

Beating up an inanimate object which isn’t always available or cussing much when you feel angry just reinforces a bad habit which makes you feel good and the probability that you will want to repeat the experience increases every time. Expressing anger is addictive and you don’t want to develop a reputation of exploding in inappropriate social situations. 

Counting to ten or twenty silently until anger intensity fades and then proceeding with speech or actions is a far better solution and won’t leave you with a reputation of being a raving lunatic.

 

You will succeed if you just believe in yourself:

Selfesteem has to be grounded in reality in order for it to have beneficial results or successful results. Being told that you are great without you doing anything great is a lie which reality will not reward with success. If you are socially incompetent or incompetent because of a lack of skills and unreliable also then no amount of selfesteem will make up for your inadequacies and you are doomed to fail frequently.

The real solution to success is acquiring or learning better social and knowledge skills and not pretending that you deserve respect and admiration because you think highly of yourself without the facts or actions to back this up. Learn the skills necessary for success and you will start succeeding and your true selfesteem will grow with each success.

 

Cult members are stupid gullible sheep:

The suicide cults get all the public attention and humans generalize that all cults must have stupid gullible humans. The truth is that many cults have smart humans who function normally in society and just happen to like to form groups of humans with common ideas and actions which are deviant forms of normal social behavior but the beliefs don’t make the humans dysfunctional in society at large. Biker groups with scary reputations and Scientology could be considered cults but their members interact with society and many are not stupid gullible sheep.

 

Subliminal messages can affect your behavior subconsciously:

Playing music backwards and a message flashed imperceptibly during an advertisement supposedly has the power to influence your behavior and cause you to buy a product. If this were true then political leaders would flash political messages subliminally and be able to control your political behavior and take over your mind. The fact is that none of this has scientific backing and proof and it is a big myth.

 

A lie detector test can determine if you are lying:

A polygraph determines physical responses during questioning and passing the test can give a false sense of security to the tester. Scientific tests have been made and it turns out that the test is just a little better than 50/50 or a flip of the coin and Aldrich Ames a famous Soviet spy beat the polygraph every time it was used.

 

Homophobes are secretly gay:

There is no scientific evidence for this but about half the population of males is against homosexuals so that theoretically makes half the population gay, a highly unlikely possibility.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/27/military-dog-meets-kitten_n_4004889.html

 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/27/jaguar-attacks-crocodile-caiman-video_n_4004616.html

If you liked this evergreen blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE.

Enjoy!!!!!!

DEPRESSION OR LIFE WITHOUT SATISFYING AND MOTIVATING GOALS

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If you are depressed then you don’t need medication or mind altering drugs but you need to find satisfying and motivating goals which you can commit to.

Some are depressed because of no job, a dead end job, a dysfunctional family life, an absence of good relationships, because of bad health, or a feeling of helplessness and inadequacy to cope with life’s problems. Most depressed humans don’t need drugs but need a radical change in their lifestyle. Psychiatry and psychology are frequently inadequate solutions to a lifestyle problem of sad pessimism rather than a desirable independent optimistic selfsufficient lifestyle.

Primitive tribes almost have no mental illness and depression because they are actively involved in a purposeful life which may be difficult but it is goal oriented and generally satisfying. Modern inactivity, unsatisfying activity, being trapped in repetitive sad thoughts, leading seemingly trivial repetitive lives without active goal achievement and a sense of accomplishment, or seemingly insoluble lingering bad problems is what makes many humans “mentally ill” or behaviorally dysfunctioning and depression is one of the more frequent manifestations of it.

Counseling rarely helps because it merely suggests changes in lifestyle but does not help in eliminating difficult to lose bad habits which should be replaced by good habits which don’t lead to depression. If you are doing things which make you depressed then you have to change to good habits which do not lead to depression. Radical behavior modification is the solution and if you are a young adult or an adult then change is going to be a difficult challenge because most of your life has programmed you to live a depressing dependent lifestyle with minimum selfcontrol over your life.

To get out of your depression you need to find and make new goals to pursue which will lead to the satisfaction of pursuit and accomplishment and will further motivate you to make more goals with hopefully satisfying feelings of pursuit and achievement. Knowing that you are in the process of achieving new worthwhile goals will bring satisfaction in the present and achieving the goals will give satisfaction and motivation to continue with new goal setting in the future.

If you are depressed a healthy body and mind should be your primary goals which means eating healthy, a little exercise, and getting new knowledge and/or skills on a daily basis. Once your body is healthy your mind will follow if you help it along with new knowledge from the internet on finding and achieving goals or finding and achieving solutions to your problems.

This next example probably doesn’t apply to any blogger but illustrates what can be done in the most desperate of life’s circumstances.

If you are depressed and unemployed and destitute then get some help from welfare or live with someone on welfare and make yourself useful by doing household tasks or caring for the offspring.  If you have relatives or family then move in with them and make yourself useful by helping with household tasks and acquire new knowledge and skills while looking for employment on a regular basis. Find any job and commute by walking, bicycle, bus, or scooter until you can afford better transportation.

Share living quarters with others until you are making enough money to live alone. Once you have enough money for a computer then you can reeducate yourself with new knowledge and skills necessary for a better job.

If you have no motivation to improve yourself then start getting used to living a life on welfare for the rest of your life because jobs will get even scarcer in the new technological 21st century. If you are homeless and have no shelter then start getting used to eating out of commercial restaurant dumpsters and make the best of it by finding used clothing from charities.

If you are anti-social and want someone to provide you with food, clothing, and shelter and you can’t survive on your own then do the unthinkable and commit a crime and go to jail where they will take care of your basic needs.

Most of us will not become so desperate that crime will be the only option. For most of us, once you find out what goals you are interested in, no matter how small, then you can start committing to them and start having purpose in your life and your depression will gradually disappear if you are eating healthy and get in some occasional physical and mental exercise!!!!!! Whatever your situation in life, try to remain eternally optimistic and self motivate yourself to do things which make the best out of the situation which you are in.

If you liked this evergreen blog read more of them and read one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE.

Enjoy!!!!!!

THE DILEMMA OF BEING SINGLE AND WANTING PURPOSE IN LIFE

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Nature has purpose in life. Survive in the environment and if you do so successfully then you will be rewarded with being able to reproduce the next generation. If you have educated yourself to the point where you land a good paying job, enough to support a family, then you too can marry and live a rewarding family life with purpose knowing that your reproductive urges will be satisfied and you will have offspring which you hopefully will have pride in old age.

If you are single and hate your job and don’t want to commit to married life then the question of purpose in your life becomes a serious issue.  I don’t want to commit to a spouse so what do I commit to? 

Some humans decide that they will commit to reeducation and the hope of getting a satisfying job in the future,

some decide that they will commit to a greater cause such as the preservation of biodiversity and channel their efforts in that direction,

some decide that they will pursue their interest in an arts field which pays poorly but is something they truly enjoy,

some commit to a political movement and try to change the world, some commit to leading a healthy life by eating healthily and exercising,

still others commit to a life of hedonistic pleasure or things which immediately bring satisfaction to them,

and some do not commit to anything but continue to live lives of uncertainty and depressing isolation. 

If you are single and uncommitted then try to find one or more things to commit to which will hopefully bring you lasting satisfaction in your single life. If you don’t know where to start then start by acquiring new knowledge by going on the internet and searching under list of goals which you can commit to.

I came up with one link http://antwondavis.com/100-life-goals/ which is just one example of how to find goals which you can commit to. A general list of the 100 goals follows which you can find details for in the link.

EXPERIENCE GOALS

FINANCIAL GOALS

BUSINESS GOALS

TRAVEL GOALS

GIVING GOALS

INFLUENCE GOALS

FAMILY GOALS

PHYSICAL GOALS

SKILL-SET GOALS

 

Once you find out what goals you are interested in then you can start committing to them and start having purpose in your life!!!!!!

If you liked this evergreen blog read more of them and read one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE.

Enjoy!!!!!!

TRUSTWORTHINESS CAN ONLY GROW OUT OF TRUE HONESTY AND SINCERITY

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You can initially trust a human who may not be trustworthy because they have to prove that they deserve trust through actions which means that they should also be competent, reliable, and/or don’t steal in the area of trust in which they should have expertise.

You can have a seemingly honest and sincere human who isn’t very competent or reliable in a job or career and is someone who is not trustworthy and someone whom you would not want to be in a position of authority.

An unreliable human is frequently one who makes a promise and does not fulfill it. This is a form of lying about the future of one’s potential performance and the human is not really being honest with you. Yes, there are unforeseen future events which can make a promise null and void realistically but a frequent history of unreliability or not fulfilling promises makes one untrustworthy and effectively a compulsive liar.

Can you trust an incompetent mechanic? No, and if a mechanic promises to fix your car and can’t then they are lying about their competence and you can’t trust the mechanic.

If a politician promises to fix the economy and fails to do so they are lying to you and even if they are incompetent and unreliable they should know of this incompetence and unreliability and they are effectively lying to you and are untrustworthy and not deserving of your trust.

Being honest or not lying is the most important human characteristic and if that human is incompetent and unreliable then they are lying to you with untrue promises about their competency and reliability then they are not really being truly honest with you.

Is a new relationship, personal or business, going to be a trustworthy one? Only time will tell unless you have trustworthy humans who claim that the human has a history of trustworthiness. Then you can start trusting them with some degree of reliability.

If you liked this evergreen blog read more of them and read one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE.

Enjoy!!!!!!

ARE YOU INEFFICIENT AND PAYING FOR IT WITH MISERY?

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Nature is efficient. It communicates efficiently, distributes resources such as food and territory efficiently, and rewards the smart and healthy with successful reproduction.

Most humans in civilization are inefficient communicators, don’t budget their time, energy, and money wisely, and have to frequently struggle to eat healthy and have offspring whom they can be proud of.

Do you make many promises and don’t fulfill most of them?

Do you talk too much and don’t solve many problems?

Do you have many casual friends and few if any close ones?

Do you argue much and solve few problems?

Do you spend too much time goofing off and find little time for the important things in your life?

Do you have great debt all the time?

Do you pick up after your offspring and let them lead messy lives?

Do you drive around town much visiting friends and impulsively shopping?

Do you date frequently and find no serious ones?

do you not set priorities in your life consciously,

Do you not have any serious long duration goals?

If you have many of the above characteristics then you are being inefficient with your time, energy, and money and you probably have a good share of misery in your impulsive problematic life.

I can write a book on inefficiency and have devoted many of my evergreen blogs to thinking rationally and being efficient but in a nutshell:

Set priorities and goals in your life,

Schedule your time,

Budget your money,

replace what you don’t now feel are impulsive bad habits with better ones,

acquire new useful knowledge and skills constantly,

and in summary: devote most of your time, energy, and money to the most important things in your life once you have prioritized them with conscientious thinking, planning, and doing. Get off your impulsive emotional butt!!!!!!

 

If you liked this evergreen blog read more of them and read one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE.

Enjoy!!!!!!

5 IMPORTANT CHARACTERISTICS OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH DETAILS

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YOU HAVE A SHARED MORALITY:

You both trust one another or are honest, sincere, dependable, and trustworthy, and feel secure that neither one of you will cheat on the other financially or sexually. This basically means that you have a strong common morality which you believe in which is don’t lie, don’t steal, and don’t commit adultery if married.

YOU MUTUALLY CARE OR NURTURE AND PROTECT ONE ANOTHER:

Your thoughts and feelings are mutually shared and not hidden from one another thus promoting trust.

You optimistically encourage and praise or nurture one another when you succeed at doing something important or when things are going very good. When things are not going very good you try to maintain an optimism that things will get better with appropriate changes or solutions to bad problems.

You try to protect one another from bad habits, bad influences, and bad humans. You encourage the replacement or reduction of bad habits with good ones, try and prevent a minor problem from becoming a bad irritating habit, and steer relationships with others to good role model friends and not bad ones. Where offspring are involved you try to make sure that your offspring are associating with good role model offspring and not bad ones.

You try to work as a team giving each other help when it seems necessary for better functioning.

You display affection almost on a daily basis with personal gestures and pet names for each other and appropriate kissing.

You know your partner’s goals and hopes for the future and you enjoy supporting  or nurturing the important ones.

Leading by example is important to raising a successful family. Being a good parent role model teaches respect, work ethic, and social appropriateness and is not saying bad things about your partner, using physical force to get what you want, or neglecting the needs of your dependents. This teaches offspring that abusive relationships are not acceptable.

YOU HAVE GOOD COMMUNICATION:

You rarely express contempt for your partner by cussing at them, calling them crazy or stupid, and stereotyping their behavior in other ways such as saying that you ALWAYS do that when it is not true in all cases.

Trying to answer questions in as short and understandable way as possible is important but this is only possible after having been a GOOD LISTENER and having understood what is being communicated. Being a good listener not only means getting the point or points but also correctly getting the emotional tone of what is being said. Sometimes all that a partner is looking for is emotional support and not necessarily any physical help in resolving a problem.

Good communication does not include yelling, blaming, threats, demands, name calling, or threatening suicide if your partner leaves.

You discuss rather than argue when you disagree on something and try to see the other’s point of view as usually being reasonable if not very acceptable to you personally.

You think your partner has good ideas quite frequently and they are ideas which you are willing to try to see if they work better or are solutions to problems.

You have talked enough to have intimate knowledge of your partner’s past and present life. For example, you know his or her favorite and not so favorite things in life such as a favorite book, song, food, relative, proudest offspring moment and most embarrassing offspring moment. You know his or her best friend’s best trait and his or her worst characteristic and you generally know the kind of humans that he or she comes into contact on a daily basis.

 

YOU HAVE FINANCIAL SECURITY:

You know how to budget your money and don’t go into excessive debt with impulsive over spending. You either both have good jobs or one of you has a good enough paying job to support you and one offspring for a year or more. You are smart enough to have a savings account or very secure investment for life’s emergencies, offspring higher education, and retirement.

YOU TRY TO BE EFFICIENT:

Not wasting time, energy, and money is not only important on the job but is also important in a good relationship. You schedule your work time and you should also try to schedule your family time so there is always time to spend on important things such as getting enough sleep, some exercise, a good healthy meal, time with the offspring, and time with each other.

If you are efficient with your family life then you will have more promises fulfilled, less time spent on trivial pursuits which just waste time, energy, and money, and you will have time left over to improve your lives with more knowledge and new skills which can come in handy for a better paying job or career. Your life will be more predictable, interesting, and fulfilling if you budget your time, energy, and money wisely and do it by the clock or a schedule where you establish the important priorities in your lives and focus more attention on them to mutual benefit.

To set important priorities in family life you can ask these questions: What am I spending time on now? How much time am I spending on it? How important is the activity in our lives? Which priorities should I spend more time, energy, and money on?

Human society is very inefficient and selfindulgent with too much emphasis on mindless entertainment. Eliminate much of the mindless entertainment from your lives or reduce it to a bare minimum and you will have successful useful goal oriented relationships which grow in value and happiness as time progresses.

Excluding or severely reducing the time spent on bad lazy fruitless time consuming habits is not going to be easy because you are getting some satisfaction by doing them but if you succeed in replacing or reducing the old time consuming bad habits and increasing the time spent on good habits then the whole family will benefit!!!!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them and read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSErays of truth in a world filled with myths and deceptions.

Go to twitter.com/uldissprogis for a complete readily accessible list of all the blogs and titles where I guarantee that you will find much more than a handful of blogs which interest you.

Enjoy!!!!!!