Monthly Archives: September 2013



Perhaps one of the most difficult things to do is problem solving where you frequently don’t know where to start or how to start.


You may have an overspending problem but neither one of you know how to budget money or stop much of your impulse buying which is a bad habit and feels like the logical or natural thing to do. If you spend when you feel like it or as long as there is credit on your credit card and budgeting doesn’t even surface as a potential way of solving your problems then you will probably wallow in your old bad spending habits and never find a solution to them. Frequently an inability to find a solution to the problem results in mutual blame. You are spending too much money and the other spouse replies that no, you are the one spending too much money and an absence of problem solution results in the blame game and nagging complaints which never get resolved.

These days there is no excuse for not solving problems because all you have to do is identify it or put it into one or more words. “Overspending problem” can be Googled and you are on your way to solving your problem with continued searches with other key words and Google suggestions.

Once you have identified the problem then you have to find possible solutions.


Find solutions by asking the questions who will solve the problem, what are the solutions to the problem, when the problem can be solved, where the problem can be solved, how much it will cost to solve the problem, and how the problem can be solved. All of these questions can be inputted as a Google search. For example, “what are the solutions to overspending” can be Googled and you will start getting answers to your problem.

If you have offspring and are having discipline problems with them then Google “discipline problems” and you will be on your way to finding solutions to them.

If you are not happy with one search engine then try another one such as Bing and you will even find age appropriate suggestions for disciplining offspring.

Another way of finding solutions to problems is to find a website which has articles about solving household problems. founded by Stacy Johnson is an excellent website which offers many solutions to money problems in family life which are usually the reason that you are having problems in family life in the first place. Manage your money wisely and if you have compatible personalities then your married life should be successful.


If there is more than one solution to your problem then you will have to decide which is the best one to choose. The best solution will probably be the one which takes the least amount of time and the least money and a solution which can be scheduled into your busy or not so busy lifestyle.


Nothing gets done unless you follow up a problem with actions designed to solve it so WHEN you are going to start to do something about it becomes a very important decision. If the solution is long and complicated then you will have a tendency to want to procrastinate or put it off as much as possible so you will have to learn how to set aside some time and apply a little selfdiscipline and get off your butt and DO something about the problem. My recommendation is to start as soon as possible or you will probably never find the courage to start to do something about it.

Getting reeducated for a better paying job is frequently a potential solution to your problems but so many of us never get around to it because it requires so much of our time, sometimes money, and we never have the courage or selfdiscipline or selfcontrol to start on the difficult path to improve skills and knowledge and actually do something constructive about our poor finances.


If the solution to the problem is rather complex and lengthy then you should monitor your progress to reassure yourself that you are making progress toward your goal of solving the problem. If you are not making progress fast enough you may consider devoting more time or money to the solution of the problem to speed up the process of solving it if you are starting to get a little impatient.

Sometimes problem solving is a simple matter of addressing a complaint and deciding whether to ignore it, eliminate the source or cause of the complaint, or deny that it should be a complaint in the first place.

You never help around the kitchen or house is sometimes a nagging complaint by a busy wife who sees you lounging around the kitchen or house and not helping with any of the work in preparing the meal, setting the table, washing the dishes and silverware, or vacuuming the carpet.

Traditionally men would just simply say that meals or vacuuming are women’s work and ignore any complaints about not helping. These days with many a working wife it is just not fair to ask a woman to do all the traditional female housework tasks without helping out a little.

I usually help set the table and do the cleanup and dishes after the meal is finished. I have also participated in sharing some of the cooking preparation or actual cooking itself but that requires a little finesse because your wife probably has set ways of preparing a meal and if you try to deviate from her plans you will get resistance or complaints. The old adage about too many ideological cooks in the kitchen is true to some extent and it is sometimes a real challenge to put up with being dogmatically ordered around during meal preparation.

In the beginning my wife was very dogmatic about the way that she prepared her meals and wanted very little deviation from her old way of doing the meal but she has slowly come around and agreed to some of my recommended changes to make a meal more tasty for all concerned which may simply mean a little less salt and pepper and a little less spices or different spices or added ingredients for the meal.

If meal preparation is not an option because it takes too long then you can order a takeout meal for all family members and satisfy their individual taste preferences when they are old enough to make good healthy food choices.


If you liked this evergreen blog read more of them and read one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE.




The 3 most important principles of good leadership and/or teamwork in any organization is following the rules of the organization, knowing and communicating the general goals of the organization, and knowing and communicating the goals which each member of the organization should have. The rules and goals which each member of a team should follow is especially important if you are a team leader and not at the top of an organization.

The 4 general principles of teamwork:

1. Teamwork means a leader communicating general goals and assigning relevant specific goals for most or all important members

2. Making sure that all the necessary information and skills are or will be available to achieve the goals in a timely way,

3. Helping individual team members function well together by establishing an atmosphere of trust and cooperation between the team leader and individual members among themselves,

4. After proper optimistic motivation rewarding members for achieving timely and acceptable goals.

As a team leader it is your job to set goals for each team member by assigning individual responsibilities and involving members in the decision making process or problem solving process to some extent so that they feel free to contribute their creative ideas if they have any and feel that their opinions are valued and should not be hidden.

Identifying the skills necessary and and general information which will be necessary to complete the goals is vital and identifying the members with the skills or ability to get the necessary information is important. Pairing up lesser skilled individuals, who may need help with more skilled individuals who can teach them what may be necessary to know to achieve the goals, may be beneficial.

To encourage trust and cooperation between members it is important for the leader to give unconditional support to all the members as needed. All promises made by the leader should be fulfilled. Frequent meetings of 5 or 6 members rather than 20 or 30 should be made to evaluate the progress of the group and make sure that only a few members are not the only ones working or doing all the work.

Your workers should be self motivated and any workers who interfere with the efficient operation of the team with bad behaviors such as continuously interrupting members during a meeting, yelling at team mates, back stabbing, failing to be supportive of others, insubordination to the team leader, not doing work in a timely way, complaining about decisions, criticizing without just cause, and inappropriate humor should be severely reprimanded and if the bad behavior does not stop and the member is guilty of two or more bad behaviors a removal from the team or even firing is essential to maintain good morale in the team.

When hiring a new team member make it a team decision and make sure that once expertise is more than adequate that the personality and social skills are also compatible with the team. Also identify and exclude members who strongly think that teamwork will handicap their creativity or hinder their personal advancement in the organization.

Share your information and skills with members and encourage members to share their information and skills with other members and reward them with bonuses, free lunches, time off, or praise when goals are achieved in a timely way.

Here is a link to an original article on teamwork by Geoffrey James.

Here is a link to 13 ways to encourage teamwork by Edward Chalmers.

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There are hundreds of tips and advice on marriage but few identify the most important building blocks which create a very good foundation for a long duration marriage. The 4 most important foundations are-







In an increasingly relativistic world where situation ethics or loose morality is being taught by professionals and condoned by society at large, the statistics for successful marriages are depressing and getting worse. You don’t need archaic religious morality to guide you but you do need to share a strong secular morality to make a marriage work. The two most important moral principles in that secular morality are DON’T LIE and DON’T COMMIT ADULTERY IF MARRIED.

If you believe that being honest, sincere, and trying to be truthful are not important in a marriage then you will not have a trusting relationship in the marriage and without trust you will be living in constant fear, uncertainty, suspicion, stress, and turmoil. Any initial bond, which may only be primarily sexual, which helped to initially keep your relationship together will be broken and the relationship will destruct sooner if not later. If at any point in the relationship you find out that you can’t TRUST your partner, DON’T MARRY him or her.

If you find out, hopefully in time, that your potential mate has been a playboy or playgirl for 5 to 10 years then the odds are against you that you will have an adulterous free marriage and the probability that you will divorce sooner or later is very large. If your potential mate has many adulterous friends then this is also a dangerous sign that you too will probably be victimized by the same fate sooner or later. If you have lived together for about one year, are financially secure enough to support one child and can’t get a commitment to marry then end the relationship because it is a purely sexual one and your potential mate is hoping to find a better mate in the future.



If you find out that your potential spouse does not respect you and does not show an interest in and support most of the things that you like and love to do or does not care about you then consider him or her an incurable selfcentered egotist. It is a human who has not learned to care about other humans and it is unfortunately too late to teach them how to be a nurturing and protective or a caring individual.



Inadequate finances or irresponsible management of finances is the leading cause of divorce. If you are good at budgeting money and your potential spouse is not then it is possible for the responsible spouse to take over the financial management successfully if the other is seriously willing to do so. If both of you have independent jobs and accounts and both are irresponsible financially and impulsive in your spending habits then the marriage will almost never succeed.

Offspring are always an additional financial responsibility and if you haven’t enough money to support any then use birth control until you can responsibly support offspring. If you both are working then make sure that just one of you can support the family on your own for a year or more unless you both earn enough to pay for a full time nanny and can continue to work after a very short pregnancy period which will not result in losing a good paying job.



A great disadvantage in solving family problems is frequent emotional displays, many emotional arguments, constant criticism, a general inability to discuss problems rationally, and an unwillingness or inability to give emotional support when needed in times of personal hardship and stress. Emotional eruptions shut down an ability to discuss and solve a problem and if one of you can’t control your emotions or shut down and don’t communicate at all about important topics then the marriage will fail in the long duration.


Find a human who you can trust, who demonstrates with actions and words that he cares about you, who is financially capable and responsible, and who has good communication skills and the probability is great that you will have a long duration marriage! If you can’t find the above human then get ready for much disappointment and failure in your relationship and it probably won’t last!!!!!! Of course if you fall madly in love with a human with the above characteristics and abilities and go past the infatuation stage then you will have nice memories to think about in old age if you do marry.


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Extreme desire for one goal such a career may mean that other important goals such as a good family life and strong friendships may be sacrificed.  For some women extreme dedication to family may mean that they sacrifice a good career.  Variety in life is usually sacrificed where there is extreme desire for one or only a few goals.


A selfdisciplined person has learned selfcontrol and has learned the knowledge and skills necessary to achieve a goal(s).


A selfreliant person can achieve a goal(s) largely with his own knowledge and/or skills.


Serenity is frequently an unintended goal which comes to people (incapacitated by illness and/or incapacitated by accident) and/or slowed down by old age but it frequently doesn’t exist in people with the responsibility of caring for a family or those pursuing a stressful job.


Simplicity or the shortest and/or least complex and/or speediest means to a goal(s) and is frequently the most efficient and best means to achieve a goal(s).


Success is the achievement of a goal(s).

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

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The general principle of good conversation is knowing how to give the right feedback or answer(s) to the communicator or sender of the message.

Communicate with one exclusively:

Multitasking during a conversation privately or on the phone is rude and inconsiderate unless it is an emergency which can’t wait but that is an extreme rarity. Give your complete attention to the human to whom you are talking to and they will feel important and acknowledged.


Make eye contact:

Don’t stare wide eyed at the human to whom you are talking to exclusively but do focus on the eyes or lips most of the time because it communicates trust and respect. If you don’t trust or respect the human whom you are talking to then eye contact is not that important and it can be occasional.

If your eyes are somewhere else you may seem that you are not being sincere or have something to hide or are even shy. I occasionally deviate slightly from eye contact and have a serious thinking face if there is such a thing when I agree or disagree with an opinion and I consider that perfectly normal for me. Rather than look at an emotionally contorted or angry face I divert eye attention to the shoulder or other body part to show my disproval and absence of a desire to look at an emotional facial display. When the emotional display is over then I focus back on the eyes and calmly answer.


Ask some questions:

Sometimes asking whether your assessment of the conversation’s important details is accurate is all the questioning which is necessary. Sometimes asking questions during the conversation is necessary to show that you are following what is being said and are trying to identify the important points or convey that you are thinking about the important points during the conversation. Asking questions suggests a serious attraction to a conversation and communicates that you are paying attention to what is being said.


Write down important facts:

Especially in a serious business conversation since most of us do not have perfect memories, it is smart to write down important facts or opinions which may be hard to remember a day or week after the conversation. It will be more efficient and you won’t get back an embarrassing answer at a future date that we discussed that topic before, don’t you remember?


Read and respond to the entire email:

Read and respond to all the points in an email so you don’t get misunderstandings about your answers. Not reading all the important points and replying to all of them can cause great inefficiency and misunderstandings because you will get confused emails back asking for further explanations about the points missed in the original email. If there are too many questions to answer then pick up the phone and discuss them all efficiently as short and to the point as possible.


Have a consistent response schedule:

Nothing is more frustrating than sending a text or email and not knowing when you will get a response. Try to make a general callback scheduling rule such as no more than 20 minutes to respond to a text and no more than 24 hours to respond to an email. Humans will appreciate that you have regular response habits and that you can be relied to respond in a timely fashion without forgetting completely and making unnecessary excuses about why you didn’t answer a communication.


Assume best intentions for short communications:

If a communication is short and to the point some humans may feel that you are being rude or you may think a human doing so is rude. Nothing could be further from the truth, assume the best intentions and be thankful that your time is not being wasted. Humans will add their own emotions to a short message and if there is friction or animosity between you then they may sometimes assume it is a hostile or aggressive message.


Complete acknowledgement of a message:

Nothing is so frustrating as to be anxious about whether a message was received or went to spam or wound up elsewhere. When you get a text of email reply promptly by saying “thank you” or “I got it” as a confirmation and this will not cause anxiety in the sender.


If you liked this evergreen blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE.




Robots and computer software is quickly replacing boring, simple, and meaningless make work jobs but it also soon threatens to automate or to replace the diagnosing and treatment of complex diseases and will radically change many professions or careers. All this won’t translate to a shorter workweek but it will translate into armies of humans on government welfare and an elite working class.

My evergreen book CHANGES IN WELFARE LAWS outlines the necessary changes which will have to be made to avoid a revolution and massive social unrest. Already over 50% of graduates, especially in the liberal arts fields, can’t find a job upon graduation because they are not skilled enough in modern technology. We will have to radically reorganize education, politics, social structure, and the economy as outlined in my evergreen book COMMON SENSE.

Here is a link to a blog in the Economist which explains bullshit jobs in greater detail.

Here are some more shocking statistics about working in the USA and the bad state of jobs in general.

If you liked this evergreen blog then read more of them.




Confirmation or similarity tendency (tendsim):n. a tendency for a human to agree and approve of  and want to interact with other humans with similar subsets

Humans generally like to agree with humans who have very similar or identical opinions, fears, and likes and agree with us. If humans disagree with us we feel uncomfortable, threatened, insecure, and annoyed that our ego, philosophy of life, opinions, fears, and pleasures are being challenged.

A result of this thinking makes us cling to one political party, one religion, one profession, and we generally like humans who also like our favorite sports teams or favorite pastimes. If you are like me then I will probably like you too no matter how illogically and irrationally you are behaving from an objective point of view.

An open minded individual is a rarity who tries to discover the objective truth in two or more differing opinions on the same subject or topic.

Ingroup tendency (tendingro):n. a tendency to want to be in and want to form stronger bonds with a group of humans with many similar subsets

We have an innate or inborn tribal instinct which helps us to form tighter bonds with our ingroup but it makes us suspicious, fearful, and disrespectful of other groups with different values and abilities. Many small ingroups listen to the same music, watch the same movies, the same TV shows, idolize the same celebrities, follow the same fashions, have similar party styles, and have a cliquishness about other rather trivial behaviors.

Rare is the individual with a global reference point who values global beliefs and activities and idolizes what is objectively good for most in the global community.

Gambler’s fallacy or predictive tendency (tendpred):n. a tendency to feel that past events and/or subsets will probably repeat themselves in the future also and especially the most recent events and/or subsets will continue into the immediate future

We tend to sense that past events have a large probability of also existing in the future. Thus if we flip a coin and it turns up heads 5 times in a row then we tend to sense that the next flip will be heads also even though the statistical probability is still 50/50. Also if we suddenly start to win there is an anticipation bias and we impulsively sense that we are winning now  and that we will also win in the near future which frequently turns out to be untrue. This is true of new relationships also where we impulsively believe that the new relationship will be better than a previous bad one even though we have not improved our personality or our job which would increase the probability of a good new relationship.

Justifying impulsive stupid or bad behavior (tendbajust): n. a tendency to justify bad and/or wrong behavior which frequently doesn’t have immediate severely bad consequences for the human

Make an impulsive expensive purchase or impulsively get angry at another human. After we do such impulsive actions we try to justify our actions since we were the ones making them and our selfrighteous ego does not want to admit that we made a mistake or did something bad.

Not being taught or not understanding mathematical probabilities (tendprob): n. a tendency to ignore probabilities in making decisions because of a bad habit and/or never having been taught to think probabalisticaly

Statistically driving a car is more dangerous than flying a plane which terrifies us more because of its infrequent use. A terrorist action terrifies us more than accidental poisoning or accidental injury from falling which is much more probable. We simply haven’t been taught statistical facts about the dangers in our lives and automatically judge the violent, infrequent, or strange action to be more dangerous than the common more probable dangers in everyday life.

Selective observation tendency (tendselob): n. a tendency to feel that an intensely observed subset(s) is now appearing with greater frequency in our lives and is not just coincidence which is the realistic explanation

We buy a new car and suddenly notice more of those same cars on the road, we become pregnant and suddenly notice more pregnant women, or we focus on a unique number or song and suddenly notice that it exists more frequently in our lives. Suddenly we erroneously feel that these are not mere coincidences but more frequent realities.

Status-quo tendency (tendstatquo):n. a tendency to want to remain or interact with habitual subsets and not want to change unless we sense that the status-quo no longer realistically works and/or is useful

Most of us sense that change is threatening so we try to maintain our old habits which can be the same political parties, the same favorite meals, the same TV programs, the same friends, the same spending habits, the same investment policies, etc. We all intuitively sense that reform or change is needed in education, in politics, in economics, and in our daily lives or routines but we just can’t seem to free ourselves of our conservative buts and make the necessary changes for the better.

Bad news tendency (tendbnews): n. a tendency to sense that bad news is more important than good news and usually because we fear that it could potentially worsen our own lives

We intuitively feel that bad news is more important than good news because fear of bad consequences which can potentially disrupt our life and make it worse is frequently more powerful an influence on our lives than good news which should be a pleasurable feeling but it doesn’t last as long in our minds.

The fear of getting shot by a criminal or becoming prey to a predator seems more important to the brain than tasting a good healthy apple.

An inherent desire to conform (tendcon): n. a tendency to want to conform to small and larger cultural groups

Fear of rejection, fear of criticism, and fear of disagreement with the majority are all powerful emotional reasons which bias us towards conformity with frequently small groups of humans and relatively large groups such as organizations, nations, or the world.

Projection or personal injection tendency (tendpinjection): n. a tendency to inject our personal (thoughts and/or sensing) and/or emotions into other people and impulsively believe that they have similar (thought and/or sensing) and/or emotional abilities and/or characteristics

We are trapped inside our minds 24/7 and most of us wrongly assume that other humans think like us and agree with us on important things and sometimes on not so important things. We impulsively inject our personal feelings, emotions, and thoughts into other humans.

Current moment tendency (tendcurmom): n. a tendency to make more impulsive bad decisions immediately which give us great pleasure and/or avoid great pain and make different frequently more logical decisions when we plan to purchase or do things at some point in the future

Pleasure now and pain later is the philosophy most of us are encouraged to live by in the media, business, and society because pleasure is what most of us chose to pursue in the moment. When asked to choose between chocolate or a fruit to eat right now most of us chose chocolate. We have a deceptive world of human leaders encouraging us to live for today and not worry about tomorrow and the results are devastating personal lives and relationships and destroying biodiversity worldwide.

Bandwagon effect or tendency towards numerical quantity (tendqunum): n. an inclination to believe and behave as most do in a subset of humans and/or a tendency towards a large quantity of a subset(s)

Herd instinct is another way of saying that most humans have a tendency to be cliquish or like to form interacting groups of humans who have a lot of characteristics in common. They frequently eat similar food, dress similarly, talk similarly, have approximately the same amount of wealth, have the same skin color or have similar body appearance, and have other pastimes and behaviors in common.  They tend to ostracize humans who don’t behave and look the way that they do and are considered unfair, unjust, biased, and even prejudiced by others.

Conservatism tendency (tendcon): n. resistance to change when given new facts which imply and/or prove a need for change and/or an inclination to believe in an old system of doing subsets

Humans have a tendency to be conservative in their lives which just means that they have established strong habits, good and bad, and are resistant to change. The new generation constantly challenges their parents “conservative” views and frequently find out sooner or later that many of the conservative views are actually useful in life and are based on many human interaction truths. The problem is that society is very irrational and too tied to historical bad habits or conservative ways of doing things and biodiversity is being devastated by this greatly inefficient largely irrational trivial behaving civilization.

Knowledge overload tendency (tendkuan): n. predominantly illogical irrational quantity knowledge accumulation which decreases logical thinking ability or the more you learn the stupider you get

Why do seemingly intelligent humans or humans with very good memories do such stupid things and can’t make reasonable logical decisions? The reason is inefficient rather trivial accumulation of knowledge and experiences with an illogical language. In the computer world much illogical garbage data in and you get garbage data out. Computer software only works perfectly if the logic behind it is perfect. Computers do not tolerate irrational garbage data which human civilization is swimming in and drowning in.

Tendessen: n. judging and/or categorizing a subset(s) based upon relatively few dominant stereotypes and/or characteristics and ignoring variations

Humans have a tendency to make fast judgments about other humans based on a few initial observations.  Humans speedily identify some obvious appearances and behavior characteristics and judge the whole human based on them. If the human looks unkempt we label him a slob, if he does a selfish behavior we label him selfish, if he does something rude we label him as a rude human who is also probably inconsiderate or anti-social, if she laughs much we label her as not being a very serious human, and if she talks too much we label her a gabber or self-absorbed.

First impressions are the most lasting because humans start or tend to make opinions about your personality rather quickly and if you start out by demonstrating many of your bad behaviors you will be labeled or stereotyped and it may take you a very long time to change a human’s bad stereotype impression of you.

Experimenter’s tendency (tendexper): n. an inclination for experimenters to believe, validate, and publish data which agree with their personal predictions for the conclusions of a new experiment and to disbelieve, destroy, or minimize in importance the data which opposes those personal predictions.

This human tendency to want to have experimental results match your personal predictions causes much junk science. Drugs theoretically designed to cure an illness are clinically tested and there is great economic incentive to prove that a drug can actually cure an illness. The realistic result is that frequently clinical data which does not suggest a cure is ignored and the data which shows minimum statistical significance is communicated as a cure which it is not. Even the humans in the tests are sometimes logically selected to increase the probability of positive clinical results. Fraud in clinical statistical “scientific” drug trials is rampant and most of the new drugs don’t cure anything but just result in bad side effects which are then treated with more drugs. A drug which cures 100% of clinical test patients is a rarity and very frequently statistics lie!!!!!!


Historical tendency (tendhist): n. an inclination to sense and validate future events as being predictable based on historical events.

In science historical precedent and proof is vital to its progress. In all other liberal arts professions historical precedent is mostly garbage precedent because it is based on an illogical past which doesn’t define any of the words used inaccurately but the words are merely verbose excursions into vague analogies which contain little truth about what should be done in the present or future. Historical psychiatry, psychology, sociology, economics, education, and language is unprovable brainwashing propaganda which is reinforced and propagated into the next generation based on herd instinct and desire to maintain a status quo based on historical precedent.


Normalcy tendency (tendnor): n. a refusal to plan for and/or react to a disaster which has never existed before

There is a great tendency for humans who have not experienced personal disasters to ignore potential probable disasters and so don’t plan for them until it is too late. Who planned ahead for a tsunami hitting the nuclear reactor in Japan? No one. Only after the fact or after a disaster are humans willing to do something about a disaster so that it won’t exist again!!!!!!

I hope we finally start planning ahead and don’t destroy biodiversity on this planet or human civilization is doomed!!!!!!

CONCLUSION: Humans are mostly ruled by their emotions where fear and pleasure seeking plays major roles in decision making and the result is that most of us have mostly bad irrational habits which we are struggling with and very few good habits which are contributing to a better life for us and society and the world. An archaic language motivates these emotional biases and is very illogical and its use is the primary reason why there is so much irrational trivial and destructive human behavior in this world.

Want to become more logical in your choices in life? Then read many of my evergreen blogs and some or most of my evergreen books. Free yourself of many of your emotional biases and improve your life in the process!!!!!!

If you liked this evergreen blog then read more of them.