Can you maintain a trusting bond after arguing and hurting feelings?
Call someone stupid, an ass hole, crazy, nuts, or a profanity such as motherf**ker or bitch. After such a careless outburst can you properly apologize and retain a trusting bond or do you get lasting resentment and wanting revenge for hurt feelings which weakens a trusting caring relationship.
Do you get violent and/or cruel during an argument and/or after it?
Abuse is frequently verbal but it can also be physical. If you plan to have offspring then it is definitely not a good idea to have a violently abusive spouse.
Are you emotionally addicted to impulsive irrational spending or shopping?
Getting emotionally high on impulsive spending is something you should definitely try to control or correct before making a marital commitment. Bad money management is the leading cause of divorce.
Do you persist beyond frustration?
There are plenty of frustrations in family life and on the job and persistence is frequently what you need to overcome the problem. Can you continue to pursue a frustrating goal despite much failure or are you one who easily gives up and accepts permanent failure rather quickly? Having no courage to overcome important frustrations is a great handicap in a relationship.
Are you willing to courageously discuss difficult problems or do you ignore or try to avoid them?
Difficult problems are very emotionally stressing and if you are the type who tries to always avoid or ignore them with silence then the relationship will not endure and the problems may even get worse with delay.
Do you have the patience to wait or delay impulsive gratification or are you one who needs to act on an impulse immediately?
Impulsively buy a cheap product now or wait until you can afford a quality product later by saving up. Impulsively eat a snack right away or wait for the main meal to eat. These are two examples which require waiting or delaying gratification which has a greater reward with patience and waiting. Excessive credit card debt is an example of not delaying gratification enough and frequently bordering on imminent bankruptcy as a bad end result.
Are you emotionally too defensive when confronted with a mistake?
Some emotional egos are so large that those humans will almost never admit to a mistake and even lie with implausible excuses to avoid blame. Being easily offended by blame leads to many undesirable arguments and bad feelings.
Can’t detect or identify low intensity emotions such as anxiety, affection, sadness, loneliness, sincerity, and liking?
Failure to note low intensity emotions means that one may fail to communicate emotional support for emotional hardship. You may not be able to verbalize empathy with minor failures or bad events which personally affect a human and need to be noticed or acknowledged frequently with emotional support. Most men are currently very bad at identifying low intensity emotions and disappoint women frequently by not picking up subtle emotional cues.
Do you give praise or emotional support for successes in someone’s life?
Financial support for worthwhile important goals is essential but you should should be able to also praise and give emotional support when one achieves those desirable important goals in life.
Do you know how to regain optimism by interacting with good friends or activities which increase your morale when needed?
Ultimately happiness is something which you are personally responsible for and if you are unhappy then you should have enough self-motivation to get yourself back into an optimistic happy mood if it has been temporarily decreased by a bad personal event or personal failure.
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