Daily Archives: December 28, 2013


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Challenge a firmly held opinion or belief or aggressively criticize another human and angry emotions will almost always appear. Trying to convince one that you are right and that they are wrong takes much skillful conversation when it is only a mistake and it is mission impossible if it is a strong belief.

Probe gently for someone’s mindset before you arrogantly proceed to voice your strong opinion or belief. Some subjects such as politics, religion, and sports infrequently lead to logical discussions but can quickly escalate into emotional confrontations instead. Avoid sensitive subjects unless they become serious important problems in your life.

If you are not sure about how a human feels about a sensitive subject but want to know then gently ask “How do you feel about ______? If you greatly disagree with the feeling then just say OK and don’t pursue the subject any further.

No matter how cool we try to be we can get upset sometimes. Yelling, ranting, and throwing a tantrum will just cause bad emotions in other humans and won’t make you feel any better after showing your emotions. The best action is to slow down and breathe deeply and try to do more thinking when you feel that you have emotionally upset someone. Remember no one is stress free and everybody has to deal with their own stress as effectively as possible. Try to be the calmer one in any emotional flareup and your words will usually be more respected and not as offensive.

There are many ways to make someone feel uncomfortable and this is frequently done in emotionally misleading and accidental behaviors. One can cause discomfort by asking one to do something that they don’t want to do. Discomfort is also caused by doing something which one finds upsetting. If you insist on discussing a topic that humans don’t want to discuss this effectively makes someone very uncomfortable.

It is almost impossible to decrease irrational anger. When humans get angry for irrational reasons calmly and respectfully listen to their grievance but remember that it will not be easy because intense irrational anger will make you want to respond as angrily. Don’t try to reason with them because they are in no mood to be rational. Don’t offer an insincere apology but try to find some action of yours which made them angry in the first place which you do regret and apologize for that.

Be careful when you joke about something because even the best jokes may be taken seriously which becomes painful and awkward. If you insist on humor in your conversation then build on the joke and make it more extreme until it is obvious that you must be joking. If your attempt at humor fails then admit that you are joking before the circumstance gets worse. Many people don’t get jokes so rarely joke or better yet don’t joke if you want a conversation to proceed smoothly and logically.

Jokes frequently destroy the boundary between logic and nonsense and some push a joke too much. A courtesy laugh will only motivate the joker to push more so avoid an untrue laugh. Express confusion and communicate in your own words what the joke meant to you and that you honestly tried to understand it. They may analyze the joke and you will feel that it was somewhat funny or it may reveal how their brain works humorously. Jokes frequently make fun out of human frailty and errors so it is best to ignore a joke that you don’t understand or disagree with.

Don’t joke at the opposite sex.  There are differences between men and women but making fun of one gender is a communication that somehow your gender is superior to the other gender and this is nonsense which is overly prejudicial and biased. Most women are more emotional and social and talkative and caring than most men but that should be no reason to make fun of them since nature programmed them to be different for the benefit of the offspring. It takes a good man and a good woman(s) to raise offspring in a balanced and healthy way as nature programmed.

Never hide an insult and pretend a compliment because no one likes to be deceived.

Though most of us probably feel that we are above feelings of jealousy, occasionally we may experience them. If this exists then try to convince yourself that the object of your jealousy is not as desirable as it seems. Instead focus on how lucky you are and on the things which are right with your life. Jealousy is primarily experienced by the economically poor in this society which puts so much importance  on the possession of many material possessions.

Jealousy of attractive humans is rampant in a society which puts more value upon beauty than on health and smarts and is the reason why so many are obsessed irrationally with their looks.

Frequently you must reveal a personally shocking truth to someone who is not ready for the truth so their minds must be carefully prepared to hear it. Don’t hit them with the complete truth at once but try to present it in smaller and slightly less shocking chunks. Evidence in small chunks and then the complete evidence will make a mind naturally rebel from that much truth but it is necessary that you maintain your honest reputation despite shock to the listener. A person will reflect upon the confrontation later and continue to respect you for being honest and your good reputation in their subjective biased minds will be maintained.

Being honest, sincere, and reliable will ensure that a strong bond continues in a relationship even after many arguments which should decrease in quantity as time passes if you continue to maintain a trustworthy relationship despite the arguments.

If you liked this evergreen blog read more of them and read one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE.




1. You don’t make enough money or have no job, 2. you are too devoted to your career and single lifestyle, 3. you lie and cheat, or 4. you are to blame because you have a severe personality flaw(s), are ugly, or very unhealthy.

Plastic surgery is an option if you are ugly. If eating certified organic food does not improve your health then you will have to find someone who takes pity on you and thinks that your other good assets are enough to continue a serious relationship.

If you have a severe personality flaw(s) then it will be very hard to change it but being aware that you have one or two bad personality flaws may eventually cause you to try and change the situation if it is interfering seriously with good relationships with a significant other.

In a nutshell you are probably single because you have severe personality flaws which you are not aware of OR you are aware of your severe flaws and are trying to hide them OR you don’t have the courage and don’t make the effort to correct your flaws.

Here are 7 possible reasons why you still may be single and with considerable effort          you can maybe change for the better.

You have been hurt badly in previous relationships and are gun shy or very defensive

Having relatively emotionless and negligent parents or caretakers may leave you not knowing how to deal with affectionate humans and may severely handicap your ability to successfully reciprocate loving and affectionate gestures.

You may also have been involved in a seemingly close relationship only to discover that you were suddenly abandoned for someone else who was more appealing thus hurting your sense of selfworth and willingness to trust your next potential good relationship.

Maybe you have a series of failed relationships and you are becoming frustrated at the prospect of another failure so you choose not to pursue as many new ones as you should.

If you have not analyzed why your relationships fail and attempt to correct those mistakes or flaws then your string of failures will just continue.

If you have a good job and are not fanatically devoted to it, are not ugly or ill, are a moral human who doesn’t lie or cheat, do not have serious personality flaws, and can communicate effectively in an honest, sincere, and reliable way then you should have no reason to be defensive about your relationships.

Dysfunctional attractions

Some of us may come from dysfunctional families with abusive and alcoholic parents and we may seek relationships with similar abusive and alcoholic individuals which instantly cause relationship problems. Dysfunctional upbringing may also mean that you unconsciously enter into relationships with humans that have parental flaws and are less than ideal examples of what a future mate should be for you.

Not realizing that you should want and look for a mate better than one you easily enter into a relationship with is a selffulfilling prophesy of failure. You may be addicted to relationships with dysfunctional personality types and not realize that that is the primary reason for your failed relationships.

Fear of intimacy or not knowing what intimacy is and how it works

Intimacy means revealing your inner true feelings and thoughts or being honest about what you think and feel. Many are terrified that if they are too intimate they will be vulnerable to manipulation and possible rejection so they remain rather aloof and distant.

Others have never learned to be intimate or truthful with their feelings and true thoughts with anyone and may have never learned the advantages of intimate behavior which has the potential to create a trustworthy intensely bonding relationship with a significant other.

Being too picky or an inability to fully trust another

Many start out relationships by stereotyping the behavior and personalities of others and if we find a major flaw which we don’t like then we may shy away from letting the relationship develop further with potential good results despite the obvious behavior flaw or flaws which we see in another human. As long as the flaw is not immoral such as lying or cheating then we should give the human a chance to reveal his or her full personality before we pass judgment on them.

Not being able to reciprocate an honest, sincere, reliable human with similar honesty, sincerity, and reliability because we are afraid of being hurt is a skill that many of us may have to learn.

Low selfesteem or selfconfidence

Some may simply believe they have too many flaws to be considered attractive to the opposite sex and suffer from low selfesteem or selfconfidence. If you have a good job and are not fanatically devoted to it, are a good conversationalist and are not afraid to be honest, sincere, and reliable, and have excluded your severe flaws from your personality then you should not have a problem with low selfesteem or selfconfidence.

Trapped by the safe single routine and fearing to disrupt it with potential bad results

Some of us have simply led the single life too long and are relatively happy with it especially if we have failed one too many times in the relationship department. You may just have to accept the fact that you are getting plenty of satisfaction being single and that you don’t need to pursue any serious relationships. You can console yourself in feeling good about not contributing to the world overpopulation problem.

Making too many rules for yourself or others

Failed relationships frequently lead us into making many intuitive rules on how to behave and not behave the next time. Trying to be too intimate once and being deeply hurt may make us be less intimate the next time to avoid being deeply hurt again.

If your flaws are what turns humans off then no amount of rule changing will solve your relationship problems. Exclude as many of your flaws as you can or live with the fact that you should probably live the single life or be faced with a never ending series of failed relationships.




If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them and read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE.