Asking questions on a first date is important but you should try and avoid making it an interrogation with questions that are very personal and may be considered offensive or overly aggressive. Make the questions as open ended as possible with freedom to answer or not to answer.
Remember most dates are interested in themselves, their close friends, sometimes their family, and frequently in the entertainment which they enjoy or something that they like to do.
Most dates are a little anxious about how they look to someone. Start off by complimenting the date on personal looks or attire but don’t come on too strong by saying something stupid like “you are the most beautiful woman or the most handsome man that I have ever met”. Rather say “You look very attractive today and I like your hairstyle and outfit”. If they think that they are beautiful or handsome they will wonder why you didn’t use those superlatives and may sense that you are interested in them more than just for their looks. If your date is not that beautiful or handsome then it will be an honest truthful compliment and not overblown.
Follow this up with a general question. “How was your day?” If they had a bad day then empathize with them with a phrase such as “I know how you must feel” and maybe share a bad day that you may have had in the recent past. An ability to share the bad moments as well as the good is a desirable characteristic to have.
“What are some of your favorite pastimes?” or “What are some of the things that you love to do?” The point here is to find out if you have common loves or things that you both like a lot. If you are not getting any good responses then you can try being more specific and ask “What are your favorite songs, movies, hobbies, sports, etc.?” If you find that you have many activities that you mutually enjoy doing the date will probably be a success and if your likes are very different and maybe unacceptable then you will not be wasting more time on a second date finding out that your interests and loves are really worlds apart and not just acceptable male female differing priorities.
“Do you have any close friends?” This will give you an opportunity to find out if they are loaners or rather sociable. You will get a good idea of what type of personalities your date likes to associate with since birds of a feather frequently flock together. If you also have a few close friends then you can share some short details about them.
“Are you close with your family?” This question will offer you the opportunity to find out if your date comes from a loving family or from one with problems and maybe a divorce or two. If you both come from good families you can start sharing some of your best moments with them. If one of you comes from a dysfunctional family then it is best to leave it on the burner and return to the topic during another date later on because you want your first date to be as positive as possible with no negative vibes.
“Do you like your job?” is a question which can lead into a discussion of future job plans or just what your date might envision doing 2,5, or 10 years from now.
“Do you have any plans for the future?” Ask what is going on in their life now and try to find out what they would like to do with their lives in the future. If your future plans are not your dates and they clash then maybe you should consider dating someone else.
More can be written about first date conversations but the above information should keep you from freezing up on the first date and appearing fearful, boring, or a bad conversationalist.
Dates want to know if you are interested in them and it is best to ask most of the questions and spend most of your time listening carefully to the responses. Then answer appropriately without trying to become the center of attention and just talking about yourself which is a real turnoff for the one who has to listen to your selfish self-absorption. A conversation should be a two way street with women frequently doing most of the talking. An overly talkative male is a sign that he probably just cares mostly about himself or is overly assertive and is trying to impress you with what great possessions and life he has.
Above all else try to be as honest, sincere, and caring as possible because if you start to lie about one or more things to your date those things will come back to haunt you at a later time and the possibility of a trustworthy bonding relationship developing smoothly will be destroyed. If you can’t trust someone then a close friendship or marital relationship will not develop.
Of course you can ask these questions online before you even date and save a lot of time, energy, and money by not going on a blind date!!!!!!
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