Daily Archives: January 19, 2014

THE TRUTH ABOUT FORGIVENESS

forgiveness

Forgive: v. to not punish someone for reaching the wrong goal(s) and/or doing a bad behavior(s) and saying to the offender “I forgive you”

Unconditionally forgive an immoral or very bad human and they will continue with their immoral and very bad behavior and you will become the unhappy miserable victim over and over again.

With strangers and casual acquaintances the general principle is fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. Don’t become a sucker for false promises no matter how good they may sound because if you have been fooled once the offender will want to do it again and fool you more than once for his or her benefit.

On the job, being late too frequently, lying to the boss about something very important, or stealing from the business are all good enough reasons not to forgive and fire you for your immorality. If you catch a coworker seriously lying about another worker or stealing from the business then it is your moral responsibility to tell the boss who will then take appropriate actions because developing and maintaining a trusting relationship in a business is priority number one.

Adulterous behavior without real remorse, without feeling guilty, and without sincerely promising never to do it again is also a behavior which should not be forgiven, especially if it occurs more than once. Intentional lies without remorse, feeling guilty, and promising not to do it again is also behavior which will ruin a trusting relationship sooner or later and if you are not married yet, then don’t marry a liar under any circumstances. Unfortunately adultery and lying are two immoralities under which a healthy and happy relationship is not possible and the more times that you forgive the worse the dysfunctional relationship becomes.

With offspring who are learning to behave properly you will be doing a lot of forgiving but keep in mind that important misbehaviors such as stealing, lying, and dangerous physical aggression should be quickly addressed with guaranteed punishment which is the removal of important privileges or even spanking to stop the bad behavior and not let it become a bad habit which will devastate the parent offspring relationship in the long duration. With offspring who do a moral transgression the first time there should be a strong conditional forgiveness offered. Make a sincere threat to the offspring. Do it a second time and an important privilege will be removed or I will spank you so it hurts and then follow through with the threat. If you make threatening promises and don’t follow through with the punishment then your offspring will just feel that you are an overblown windbag, will ignore you, and your role as an authority figure will disappear to no one’s benefit.

You can wallow in revenge and bitter resentment for a long time if you don’t forgive conditionally or unconditionally. If forgiveness is not working in your favor then the best policy is to break off the relationship and move on to a better one. You have the power to forgive and not forgive and if you are wallowing in revenge and resentment and it is making you terribly unhappy then it is your fault that you are not doing anything successful about it. Marriage and close friendships are hard to abandon but abandonment should be seriously considered if it is making your life and your offspring’s life miserable with too much immorality going on.

CONCLUSION:

Forgiveness is not divine if it is done unconditionally for immoral behavior such as intentional lies, adultery, and stealing. As a responsible adult you should not tolerate immoral behavior in the family or with close friends. It is also your responsibility to not get involved in dysfunctional immoral relationships with other adults. If you do let immorality slide in your relationships, it will just bring you much unnecessary misery and unhappiness in your life!!!!!!

If you liked this evergreen blog read more of them and read one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE, which is rays of truth in a world filled with myths and deceptions.

Enjoy!!!!!!

THE TRUTH ABOUT LYING

quit-lying

LYING:   Willfully and fraudulently stealing the truth with untrue speech and/or untrue writing or willful and legal deceptive stealing of the truth with untrue speech and/or untrue writing.

All lying should be fraudulent or illegal someday in the distant future.  Unfortunately the human condition is such that society is filled with lies many of which are believed to be the truth.

Religions are filled with untruths and there is an abundance of social myths that people believe in.

Many businesses lie about their products especially when it deals with highly subjective personal beauty and health products and services.

We would be calling 100% of the population liars if our standards for truth were objective and absolute.  So many people are being deceived by untrue information and untrue opinions. They honestly believe those untruths so they aren’t really liars but they are promoting many untruths which have to be addressed and combated wherever possible.  Hopefully someday in a perfect world lying and untruths will be outlawed but for the time being most lying is still legal deceptive stealing of the truth and permitted.

The deception is perpetuated by those in leadership positions of power and the people are merely sheepish followers who don’t know any better.  There is also the problem of a leadership that has been deceived by historical deceptions and they too largely believe that they are in possession of the objective truth.

My books are really not designed for the masses but are designed for the political and social and economic future leaders that should be fighting ancient myths and untrue ideas and unjust laws to make this place a better world to live in.

People aren’t really willfully lying all the time because they believe those lies to be the truth and society accepts this reality.  That should not be a reason to be complacent about the situation and not continue the noble fight to exclude as many lies and untruths from society as possible.  We should all try to be myth busters because it is the right and good thing to do and it should only benefit society and the world in the long run and guarantee a more peaceful world.

Trust is the glue that keeps families and friends and organizations and society functioning smoothly.  Remove trust and human relationships and society start to decrease.  Trust basically means that honesty and sincerity without much lying is being practiced by people.

Dishonesty or lying or telling untruths can also mean that promises are made and never fulfilled and that bad deceptive actions are kept secret in close human relationships.  Beware of adults who don’t fulfill their promises and replace them with excuses and beware of adults who seem to be keeping too many secrets with avoidance answers to important questions.

People shouldn’t and frequently don’t trust a liar or a thief.  A liar who tells many intentional lies or untruths destroys a good reputation and is frequently socially ostracized.  A thief who is caught goes to jail.  Unintentional lies especially by offspring can be forgiven but many intentional lies should be punished by a loss of privileges.

Intentional stealing by small offspring should be severely punished even by physical spanking with a belt if the intentional stealing can not be cured by a loss of privileges or severe scolding which emphasizes that thieves go to jail.

Lying by a spouse about not being home on time due to working overtime or a meeting with some friend for entertainment reasons is sometimes done to hide an affair so become suspicious if a spouse is using too much time away from home and is found not to be working at a job.

Finding drug paraphernalia in a messy room or car is evidence that legal or illegal drugs are being used by your offspring or that he or she is associating with people who are using drugs.  If your offspring denies using drugs it is probably a lie although there is the remote possibility that the drug paraphernalia was planted by friends that wanted your offspring to get into trouble.  If actual drugs are found especially the illegal kind it is time to take severe steps to stop the use if it hasn’t reached the point where only a drug rehabilitation center is the only solution to the problem. In modern society there are many synthetic legal drugs which are even more dangerous to your offspring and they should be made illegal as soon as they appear on the market and are being manufactured here or in a foreign country. For example all dieting drugs which suppress appetite and change your mood should be illegal!!!!!!

If you lie very little or have a photographic memory and can remember all the lies told you may get away with lying but most compulsive liars are soon caught in their lies and their good reputation lands in the toilet.  This is especially true of dates that you may have who may claim that they are in love with you.  Sometimes the truth is that they are really after your money or some privilege which only you control.

In every new relationship give the person enough time to prove to you that they are really honest about their lives and about their interest in you.  The longer that the relationship lasts the greater is the probability that their true intentions and beliefs will surface and they will be caught in their lies if they have told any.   If you catch someone in a single important intentional lie there is a great possibility that he or she has been telling you many more lies which you haven’t caught.  Stay away from liars because they can’t be trusted and are immoral people and this will only lead to many future disappointments or even heartbreak.

There is a very important place for honesty and a good reputation to play in modern jury trials.  If perjury is committed then true justice is not possible in democratic republics.

If the truth and 100% of the truth and nothing but the truth is not demanded by law of the vast majority of its citizens then there is no justice possible.  A society filled with liars can’t exist for long before tyrannical rule must be enforced with force and the threat of force.  A free society with too many institutionalized lies or untruths and successful liars can’t long exist.

There are many lies being told in society that are believed to be the truth so realize that not all lies which are being told to you by adults are actually intentional lies meant to deceive you.

There are many products on the market especially drugs and inflated money making schemes and weight loss products and lopsided single or multiple food supplements and cosmetics which make untrue statements about their merits.

Educate yourself on these products by going on the internet and getting truthful opinions from people who have actually used them and are not being paid to make good testimonials on those products.

Finally if it sounds too good to be true it probably is not true.  Watch out for miracle claims for a product and remember that the buyer should always be suspicious of untrue claims.

Laws should be passed which limit the right to make non objective claims for products and services which are not truthfully advertised.  Buyer beware is not a just legal principle but is bad socially since it just rewards clever and deceptive liars.

Almost all lies are immoral and there are a few cases where they are criminal or fraudulent in the form of libel or public product misrepresentations.

White lies such as saying that you are busy when you are not to avoid an unpleasant conversation may not be considered immoral.  It is best to remain silent and communicate nothing at all if honesty will get you in trouble such as severely and honestly criticizing your boss and risking being fired.

Admit your error in making a promise that you couldn’t fulfill rather than making up a untrue excuse.  Remember honesty is still the best policy if you want to maintain good relationships with family and close friends and especially if you are aspiring to positions of leadership in organizations or politics.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially JUSTICE.

Enjoy!!!!!!