Daily Archives: February 18, 2014

8 THINGS YOU SHOULDN’T DO TO YOUR OFFSPRING

parent_child_relationship

Don’t forget to empathize with your offspring

If an offspring expresses fear, anger, jealousy, or sadness then you should not ridicule or tease them for feeling that way. Having unfortunate emotions is not wrong and you should help them to overcome the stress with reassurance and an optimistic viewpoint with caring expressed that things will work out and that it is natural to feel fear, anger, jealousy, or sadness sometimes.

Sharing or empathizing with the important happy moments and successes in your offspring’s lives is just as important as sharing the important unhappy moments.

 

Don’t have inconsistent rules

Have firm rules of what is good and bad which you expect your offspring to obey which are not vague and uncertain and threaten to become a source of continuing confusion in your offspring’s life. Rudderless lives with much bad behavior and with little self-esteem may be the result of groping for a sense of what is right and wrong.

 

Don’t unload all your problems on your offspring

Sharing all your problems with offspring and asking them for advice on how to deal with them makes you seem defeated and helpless which will burden your offspring unnecessarily. You should almost always approach your problems with a confident outlook that you will solve them sooner or later and you should share with your offspring your successes and infrequently your failures at dealing with problems.

 

Don’t just convey unloving emotions about the other parent

Never showing loving and affectionate emotions towards your spouse or ex-spouse in front of offspring will deprive your offspring of knowing the kind of good emotions and interactions which are necessary for bonding trusting relationships to be maintained.

Always criticizing, rejecting, and threatening divorce will create chronic anxiety in offspring. Remaining cold, distant, bitter, angry, and critical of an ex-spouse is a subtle way of conveying the feeling that you are the preferred parent and the ex is totally to blame for the divorce.

Your unloving relationship style can handicap your offspring who will imitate your dysfunctional unloving relationship style in their own lives with other humans.

 

Don’t punish independence and separation

Offspring should be taught independent responsible behavior and thinking as soon as possible and not the opposite which is trying to maintain an irresponsible dependent relationship on the parents which will result in insecurity, rebellion, and irresponsible independent action eventually.

 

Don’t try to link your offspring behavior to how good it makes you look

Don’t try to insist that your offspring behavior should make you look good to others. Your offspring will learn to become insecure pleasers to other humans and not independent doers who are doing something to improve themselves and their own self-image.

 

Don’t micromanage your offspring relationships

Monitoring each step in an offspring’s relationships with friends and authority figures such as teachers and then interfering in them to make them work out will prevent your offspring from learning to navigate friendships and relationships with important humans on their own in life.

 

Don’t overprotect your offspring

Extending dependency for too long on you for all emotional and other problems in life will create a feeling that life is easier and more irresponsible than it is in reality. Offspring will become depressed and confused when they don’t continue to get what they think they deserve in life from other humans who will not be as giving as you are and expect more individual responsibility and independent action.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

Enjoy!!!!!!

THE TRUTH ABOUT FAMILY

Extended family sitting outdoors smiling

In the western world healthy families are soon going to be a scarce commodity.

A radical decrease of good stable paying jobs, bad financial management or excessive credit card debt, a promiscuous society, and a lack of a secular moral code for impressionable young minds in elementary school is the reason why families are disintegrating because there is a breakdown of trust between humans and trust between the governed and the governing leadership.

Of all the above reasons for family failure the biggest is an absence of a common secular morality which will soon make the peaceful interaction of humans in a nation almost impossible and humans will once again be ruled by fear or rule by the threat of force and the use of force.

The two most important foundations of a family are a shared moral code that each spouse believes in and the second most important foundation is the financial means to support a family with offspring. Both a common morality and financial stability are being destroyed and the result is family breakup or even an inability to start a family because love and sexual attraction alone are not enough for a family to last as an ongoing social unit.

I personally don’t think that family breakups or an inability to support a family are necessarily a totally bad situation because the last thing that the world needs is more human mouths to feed or world overpopulation.

If you are still without family and single then don’t despair because you may still luck out and find moral compatibility and a spouse who can help to totally or partially support your family unit. With this knowledge and a little luck you may still have a successful family life in a sea of family breakups.

What is the WORLDWIDE secular morality which you and your spouse should believe in? It is except in emergency situations-DON’T DESTROY BIODIVERSITY, DON’T LIE, DON’T BE INEFFICIENT, DON’T STEAL, DON’T COMMIT ADULTERY IF MARRIED, AND DON’T MURDER!!!!!!

If you liked this evergreen blog then read more of them and read one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE, truth in a human world filled with lies and deceptions.

Enjoy!!!!!!