The most mutually beneficial 2 negotiating styles are frequently the compromising and collaborative styles and the remaining three styles or competitive, accommodating, and avoiding styles are frequently winning or losing styles where one side frequently benefits the most by a large degree.

Compromising negotiations are situations where you frequently win some and lose some. One side gets something that they want and the other side gets something that they want but one side does not generally get all that they want without giving something up.

In compromising divorce negotiations the future ex-husband may want more visitation rights and the future ex-wife may only agree if the alimony payment is higher. The male spouse gets greater visitation rights but gives up more of his money and the wife gets more money but gets less living convenience because of having to share the offspring more.

In compromising car sales negotiations you may negotiate for a lower price with the promise that you will buy right away. The salesman may not want to reduce the price and his commission but may be willing to do so to increase his sales volume or just to make a sale which he might be rather desperate to make.

Collaborative negotiations are situations where you have mutual goals which you want to achieve and each contributes your just share to the effort. It is a win win situation.

In a collaborative family vacation negotiation neither of you may be able to afford an expensive vacation but if you both contribute money from your paychecks then it is doable.

Competitive negotiations have winners and losers which are sometimes necessary for fast results or in situations where a deadline must be met.

In a competitive job assignment one sales human may compete with another sales human from the same company for a new prized regional sales area. One will be chosen and hopefully the one deserving of the position or the one meriting it will get the job and the other loses or doesn’t get it.

In a competition for the family car to use on a date two offspring may compete for the rights and one generally wins the right to drive the car. Hopefully the one with the greatest urgency such as a first date or the most important event such as a prom will win the rights to drive the car.

Competitive negotiations sometimes hide important facts or one side tries to deceive the other so there is frequently more dishonesty in competitive negotiations. The more honest both sides are the more just will be the end result of a competitive negotiation and one side will not feel that they have been unjustly screwed in some way with untruths.

Accommodating negotiations are giving in because you feel the relationship is worth saving at the expense of losing. You start to demand punctuality from your spouse and they just refuse to be punctual and continue to make lame excuses for the tardiness. The rest of the marital relationship seems fine to you so you relent or give up and accept the tardiness as a fact of life which you will have to live with. If you are too accommodating then there will be a tendency for your spouse to take advantage of you in other important things also.

Avoiding negotiations are really not negotiations at all but frequently examples of being ignored perhaps hoping that the problem will eventually be ignored by you too. You should clearly state what is expected of the other party in the situation when something finally will be done and the matter will be properly negotiated and a satisfactory conclusion reached.

To avoid many unpleasant confrontational arguments you should learn the rules for calm discussion or understand that proper negotiation techniques are frequently the answer which actually solves problems to some extent and does not let them fester for too long with bad consequences for a relationship.

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