Emotional intelligence: n. the ability to accurately assess a human’s emotional circumstance and to proceed to communicate appropriately and/or to motivate samer human to achieve a goal(s)

Emotional intelligence is the new buzzword being used to talk about a human’s ability to assess another’s emotional circumstance and communicate appropriately without getting into arguments or severe disagreements. It is frequently seen as an advantage for leaders who are trying to motivate their workforce into doing a good job and basically maintaining a good esprit de corps. Emotional intelligence should really be called emotional smarts or ES because it is largely an acquired skill and not inborn that much.

Sometimes the smartest thing to do is just let a very angry and annoyed human calm down before starting a conversation with them. At other times it is smart to try and diffuse the anger with appropriate words which register a certain amount of empathy but communicate a need to proceed quickly to do something about a bad situation despite very bad feelings about it. “I feel your pain, suffering, or anger but we must move on despite it.”  This generally summarizes the tactic needed to resolve emotional distress, especially in the work place.

The emotionally intelligent just like intelligent humans usually have a good memory for names and events, especially those relevant to a human. They can sometimes draw on these past events and use them in handling a touchy present situation. “Remember a similar situation which arose in the past where you had the same basic problem and we resolved it?”

This kind of historical memory helps to custom fit a potential dispute and diffuse a problem without the need for lengthy discussion starting from scratch. Humans like to feel that you care about them and if you bring up past events in their lives then this shows that you have been empathetic and caring in the past and are probably only wanting to help them in their current state of distress.

Emotional intelligence or emotional memory is partly inborn but it can also be an acquired trait to a large extent with exposure to humans of all types and many social experiences with diverse personalities.

During a job interview many employers go with their “gut” feeling which basically means that they are impulsively judging you based on appearance, gestures or body language, speech mannerisms, and conversational ability.

Being able to discuss job related issues almost flawlessly is also important but your optimistic attitude and the way that you present yourself during the interview play a major role in the ultimate decision making process. You basically have to come across as a likable human in addition to what your actual expertise may be in the job which you are applying for.

If a leader is not charismatic he or she may still have a good reputation among employees by being honest, sincere, dependable, competent, friendly, and trustworthy. It is far easier to communicate with employees or a significant other if they basically respect you and maybe even admire you to some extent.

Being emotionally intelligent about yourself is also frequently ignored as a desirable trait to have. If you are very angry and annoyed then that may not be the best time for you to enter a conversation with someone else. Being calm, cool, or collected is just a way of saying that you should be smart and seldom vent your anger and disappointment at others unless you then proceed to solve any problem or problems which may have caused you that emotional distress in the first place.

Having emotional intelligence should make most of your communications with close relationships successful but a very important aspect of emotional intelligence is giving appropriate praise when earned. Human’s like to feel good about themselves and if you appropriately praise or reward them for their successful efforts then you will go a long way towards motivating them to proceed to even more or greater achievements.

Exaggerated praise or rewards are inappropriate in the long duration and you should try to develop a sense of justice which is a measured and appropriate reward or punishment which of course is frequently in verbal form and not necessarily always physical such as granting a privilege or denying it.

Emotional intelligence is very useful in everyday relationships with humans, especially the ones closest to you. To have a complete discussion of the emotional intelligence of a leader you must include a discussion of leadership skills in general which are never exclusively emotional in character.

Emotional intelligence is really a very complex and detailed subject which includes all the emotional states or circumstances that a human can be in. To intuitively and accurately guess what emotional state or circumstance a human is in is only successful in some cases with spouses which you have interacted with or have known for many years.

In general the smartest thing to do is to ask a person what emotional state they are in with a question. “How do you feel now? or How do you feel about that? They may still try to hide their emotional state from you with hedging or evasive tactics but in most cases you will much more accurately find out how one really feels by asking them. Get more certainty about someone’s emotional circumstance and you can then proceed accordingly with hopefully better conversational and situational results.

IQ and EQ stand for intelligence quotient and emotional quotient and the most desirable leaders are the ones with much EQ since IQ can be considered to be the tip of the iceberg which shows or is known and EQ is the vast bulk of the iceberg below the water line which doesn’t show or is usually unknown. This is an analogy which just states that EQ is a much more desirable characteristic than IQ to have in leaders.

EQ is a function of all the good and bad experiences which you have had in your life with other humans and how well you remember those experiences intuitively and is not easily quantifiable whereas IQ is more quantifiable and is basically a measure of how good your memory is for book knowledge.

 EQ is a much more impulsive or intuitive ability whereas IQ frequently requires more thinking ability and less impulsiveness. Nevertheless in many cases intuition or impulsiveness are still major characteristics for both EQ and IQ.

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