If you have integrity and are trustworthy, dependable, competent, friendly, and empathetic then your chances of forming close, good relationships is optimized. Being immoral and having many bad habits or one or more severe handicapping bad addictions will almost always ruin the possibility of close, good relationships. That being said there are 8 important factors which affect the strength of a bonding relationship:

TRUST:

Trust is the most important bonding characteristic which makes a relationship possible in the first place. Being honest, sincere, and moral or having integrity means that a relationship can potentially flourish if nurtured further.

Lie, steal, or commit adultery and trust can’t exist. Some dysfunctional relationships continue to exist without trust because of fear of abandonment or the fear of physical violence but these relationships are definitely not good or happy ones.

COMMUNICATION:

A relationship is threatened and often ruined if the communication is very bad, if there is very little of it, and definitely ruined when there is no communication at all.

Ideal communication is being a good listener, asking relevant questions, being relatively brief in responses, respecting opposing opinions or beliefs, not being verbally abusive or offensive, and interrupting or changing the subject if the conversation becomes too verbose, too trivial, too emotional, or irrelevant.

RESPECT:

If you have integrity then you will be respected but respect can also be increased with appropriate kindness, gratitude, caring, empathy, openness, listening, dependability, responsibility, competence, expertise, confidence, tolerance of opposing opinions and beliefs, and respect increases by not being verbally or physically abusive. A socially prominent respected human will often also be admired.

RESPONSIBILITY:

A responsible human accepts the consequences of his or her actions and does not try to find excuses or blame others for his or her own mistakes and failures. Moral, parental, behavioral, and financial responsibility is essential for a good relationship.

COOPERATION:

Sharing and/or compromising on parental, household, and financial responsibilities is the essence of what cooperation is. Mutually agreeing on what is to be done by who at what time is what cooperation between two or more individuals means. Whether it is between two individuals or an entire team or organization a good relationship depends on successful cooperation.

BEING GOOD ROLE MODELS:

A good relationship thrives if the participants in the relationship are good role models. This is particularly important in parenting where offspring will do what you do rather than do what you tell them to do. Words are rather weak motivators if your personal behavior and your words don’t match up. If you are a good friend then associate with humans who are also good friends or try to mostly have relationships with good role model humans.

Realistically not that many are good role models and you will also have to learn how to interact with quite a few bad role models in the course of a lifetime without becoming overly cynical, jaded, or spoiled.

INDIVIDUAL FREEDOM:

In any relationship one must respect individual interests and pursuits which make a relationship interesting and potentially more rewarding. Encouraging or motivating someone to pursue their individual interests and build upon their strengths is usually good for a relationship.

PATIENCE:

Not every problem or confrontation needs an urgent solution. Sometimes some research, further discussion, consulting with competent adults, and just letting more time to pass determines whether mutual agreement is possible or whether a live and let live attitude is preferable.

Transient angry confrontations should be minimized by patiently waiting until a given situation can be calmly discussed instead. Angry confrontations often cause insults, put downs, name calling, humiliation, and ridicule which just creates bad feelings and no resolution of the conflict.  

Important problems with potential solutions need patient waiting until enough information and resolve grows to a point where a solution is obvious and possible.

Most parental relationships have a dominant or controlling partner who makes most of the important family decisions and runs the risk of becoming too tyrannical and impulsive with her or his demands. Emotional patience is often a virtue and patiently doing something is less of a virtue especially if it takes the form of procrastination on too many things.

 

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