Daily Archives: April 23, 2018


Before marriage it is always important to make sure that your views on morality are the same or that you trust each other, don’t lie, and believe in a monogamous relationship during marriage. Other things which are very important are your spending habits and whether you want to raise children. Agreeing on these major points is necessary for a good compatible marriage but there are other areas where commonality is not so important and may even be an antidote for a boring marital life. If you differ in these 8 general areas then it is no great reason for being overly concerned and it can result in a rather interesting marriage and not a dull one.

Different hobbies and interests are acceptable and with time and the sharing of experiences you may even become more interested in those differing hobbies and interests yourself. I had a scientific background and a great interest in technology, tools, and science and my wife was an artist interested in crafts, knitting, sewing, and dress making which I considered at first to basically be a waste of time, not a money maker, and basically boring trivia.

Over the years I made aesthetic evaluations based primarily upon how close to reality and nature the artistic items were. I was surprised that with time my tastes and spouse’s tastes became more alike and I developed a good sense of color, texture, etc. and became much better at evaluating artistic expressions and was surprised how often she asked me for advice, I gladly offered it, and we often agreed.

Different political beliefs are possible because one spouse will basically think that government should get involved in helping out humans in need and the other spouse may basically feel that humans should behave more responsibly and government help should only be used as a last resort. Let’s face it, establishment Republicans and Democrats basically believe in growing government and passing laws often favoring the rich and special interests even though they may claim publically that they are representing and addressing the needs of minorities, the poor, and middle class.

Sexual turn-ons may slightly differ in spouses and some may seem rather unusual and kinky. With time and having sex the same basic way very often you may eventually try doing some of that kinky stuff as a change of pace and find out that it is not that bad after all and perhaps perfectly acceptable. After all, pleasing one another sexually can be important even though some of the desired variations may take a little effort and perhaps unpleasant sacrifice to fulfill.

It is not unusual for taste in movies, music, and TV to be different with women often liking love stories, family films, and romance a lot while men often prefer action films and sports related subject matter.

Different cultural, religious, and ethnic backgrounds can sometimes challenge a relationship if there is no common morality but often these differences can be accepted and even appreciated with the passage of time. Most conflicts which will arise can be ironed out if dogmatic relatives do not get too involved and start interfering in the marriage and trying to run it in one direction only or a direction which is opposed to the beliefs and practices of one spouse exclusively.

Of course if you are a dogmatic Muslim, Jehovah Witness, or Orthodox Jew then a different religion for a spouse will not work. Most religions are relatively flexible with liberal and conservative wings and a shared basic morality which is don’t lie, don’t steal, and don’t commit adultery if married.

Introvert and extrovert spouses can often make a go of it where the introverted spouse leaves most of the socializing to the other spouse and focuses mainly on family responsibilities and not social ones. I am an introvert without a close friend and let my wife take care of social connections. It has worked well this way for over 25 years. I am much more selective in the humans that I associate with than my wife who maintains minimal contact with about a hundred humans who have crossed her life but even here she only has a handful of a few good friends and her sister whom she stays in frequent contact with.

Cleanliness and orderliness can be an abnormal obsession with some humans who may incessantly nag if something is not clean or orderly. If the house isn’t cleaned on a regular basis, the dishes are not always washed, the laundry is not always done, etc. you can still lead a relatively clean and orderly life as long as you are not nagged about it on a regular basis.

A sense of adventure and desire to travel may differ in spouses and is usually a costly enterprise since traveling to distant places and meeting different humans is often time consuming and expensive. If you don’t like adventure then you can let your spouse do the adventuresome stuff alone or with other like minded humans.

As long as you are not going into debt financing the travel and adventure, it is not something which will ruin a marriage.

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