Historically in many cultures and currently in many parts of India, Pakistan, etc. there is something called a dowry which is some property in the form of goods, land, money, etc. which is usually given to the groom by the bride’s family upon marriage. You can argue all you want about the advantages and disadvantages of the dowry system but the fundamental fact is that marriage with offspring is an expensive proposition and the more financial resources that a couple has, the more probable it is that the family will have a secure and hopefully happy future.
Yes, a family with offspring is an expensive proposition so it is obvious why a dearth of enough money is often the leading cause of many divorces in the modern western world. In effect, a family can’t survive on love alone. All you need is love to marry is the popular dominant dangerous myth promoted in the west.
Historically in agrarian cultures where you have mostly farmers, offspring were an advantage because they could help with the farm work and make the family money and in old age families often stayed together so offspring were also old age insurance when the parents could no longer work on the farm.
Today most offspring are an incredibly large financial liability and cost an arm and a leg to educate and provide them with basic necessities. There are also many cases where upon graduation the offspring can’t find a decent paying job and wind up living with the parents for financial reasons.
So the best advice to give before marriage is make sure that you can afford it, especially if you want to have offspring. Yes, you can marry, use family planning or contraception and not have offspring until you can afford it. If you have offspring by accident and one spouse doesn’t want an abortion then a nasty divorce with unwanted legal financial responsibilities may be the result.
Now love and sex is a very powerful force of nature and it is entirely possible to run across a potential very compatible mate as young adults but neither party is making enough money or both are still educating themselves for a useful job or career. What do you do? Well you can live together or live separately being sexually faithful and use birth control and under no circumstances beget offspring. If a spouse gets pregnant then the smartest thing to do is to either get an abortion or give up the child to an adoption agency upon birth. Marriage should mean offspring and until you can afford offspring, don’t marry!
In the modern era usually both spouses are working and you may be wrongly concluding that you can afford offspring. Realistically child care, especially when they are young is a full time occupation and unless you can afford a nanny prepare for the high probability that one spouse will have to take much time off from the job to raise the young child. You will be surviving on one salary alone for a considerable period of time so make sure that you have enough money saved up or better yet wait until one spouse alone can afford to support the family with child.
If one spouse is a compulsive shopper or another accumulates large credit card debt then this is a danger sign that there is financial hardship ahead. If neither spouse is financially responsible then the relationship will probably crash and burn so avoid this circumstance as much as possible. If one spouse is financially responsible and in charge of all the money then the relationship may still be doable but not if both are financially irresponsible. If one is financially responsible and the other is not then prepare for a boatload of ongoing nasty arguments about money.
Yes, enough money and managing it wisely is very important in a marriage and if you fail on either count then most of your arguments will be about money and will almost definitely lead to eventual divorce.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4900 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.
If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!