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23 WAYS TO BE A BETTER CONVERSATIONALIST!!!

One thing which is not always obvious or mentioned is that conversations between family members and close friends is a little different than good conversations between mere acquaintances or strangers. Taboo subjects such as politics, sex, and religion are usually off limits when talking to acquaintances or strangers but are acceptable topics to discuss with close friends or relatives. Revealing your personal weaknesses, secrets, and biases to close trusted humans is more acceptable without as much fear that this information will be used against you to damage your reputation.

That said there are 23 ways to be a better conversationalist in general:

Be a good listener since it shows an interest in what another is saying and makes another feel more important than they actually are. Some feel a good conversation should be 50/50 or that each should share about half of the conversation time but when talking to acquaintances or strangers your goal should be to learn as much about that human as possible and that means letting him or her do most of the talking. Try to show genuine interest without pretentiousness by listening and reacting accordingly or appropriately.

Don’t pontificate or dogmatically try to force your opinions and/or ideas on another. This aggressive approach will put the listener in defensive mode and cause them to try and avoid or terminate the conversation prematurely.

Use purposeful open ended questions beginning with who, what, where, when, how, and use how much to get an accurate degree of emotion, feeling, time, effort, devotion, commitment, quality, and quantity. This is better than just asking general questions about emotions and feelings or questions with only yes or no answers, both of which don’t encourage lengthier and more informative answers which is what you ideally want. Examples are- What drives you in life? What are your goals for next year? What inspired you to make the change?

If you don’t know how to answer a question or are ignorant on a topic then admit that you don’t know what to say or say that you will have to research it or think about it some more.

Be relatively brief and to the point and don’t get overly involved in giving too many or lengthy details and explanations which may be unnecessary.

Don’t assume that your experience and feelings on a topic are identical to theirs since most of us have had different experiences and feelings on varied topics. No two humans think or feel alike except perhaps for some rare couples who have been living and interacting much together for over 50 years.

Try not to repeat yourself or rephrase the same response many times or you will come across as being a little pushy and even annoying.

Try not to interrupt another while they speak unless they are excessively repeating themselves, boring, or talking too much with a lot of trivial information which is wasting your time and listening energy.

Go with the flow or don’t be too critical of another’s conversation style.

Try to choose subjects of mutual interest if possible and ask appropriate questions which will identify those subjects to further discuss.

Try to stay optimistic or positive with a minimum display of pessimism or negativism.

With strangers and acquaintances try to avoid overly emotional topics such as politics, sex, religion, relationship status, socioeconomic status, and physical appearance.

Advocate or say what you think and why followed by asking- How do you see it? to get a reaction, input, or feedback from them. Use follow up questions to get more useful information out.

Say the right thing or be honest, sincere, generally truthful, and not hurtful or say nothing at all.

Try to avoid small talk or chit chatting as much as possible and try to focus on more important or big talk topics.

Stay in conversation or discussion mode and don’t argue or debate which is a confrontational style and will put another in an angry and defensive or rejection mode.

Respect another’s privacy and try to avoid being overly critical or judgmental.

Give credit where credit is due and compliment accordingly.

Respect a person’s strongly held opinion and/or idea and both agree to disagree and continue the conversation with another topic.

Look for visual facial and body cues to assess the degree of interest in the conversation and switch to a different topic or prepare to end the conversation if you detect great disinterest.

Use examples to illustrate a point which you want to make.

Don’t brag about yourself or talk too much about your accomplishments since con artists and pretentious individuals are notorious for excessively conceited self-promotion and are no longer respected when the truth surfaces sooner or later.

Finally don’t be untruthful, pretentious, or hurtful since it will cause others to dislike you in the long duration since almost no one likes lying, deceptive, rude, and offensive humans.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4100 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 588!!!

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If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3500 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

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HELPING OTHERS WILL OFTEN MAKE YOU HAPPIER!!!

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Helping others, giving to charity, or volunteering reinforce our moral values and actually chemically makes us feel better. Giving to charity is a transient good feeling but volunteering and interacting with humans and giving something of yourself usually increases your sense of selfworth and makes you feel good about the kindness which you are demonstrating. Gratitude on the part of the receiver is also appreciated and makes us feel good about an overall positive interaction.

Volunteering can not only boost your selfesteem but it can also boost your friendliness quotient and improve your bonding potential with others. Volunteering can be a rewarding experience, it can boost your mood, give you a sense of purpose, lower stress, and give you a sense of belonging to the community. Volunteering also can increase your sense of gratitude for what you have and will provide guidelines for how you can help yourself in times of need.

Most important is helping others by mentoring them to succeed in life. Whether you are mentoring offspring or an adult to follow in your footsteps and then exceed you, you are creating the leaders of tomorrow and this will give you great satisfaction latter in life. The bonding which happens during mentoring can lead to lifelong friendships which will definitely increase your happiness quotient.

Finally kindness is often contagious and often reciprocated by moral humans whom you are being kind to. Being able to help a friend in need with advice or other kinds of emotional or physical support will make you happier in many cases and your friend may reciprocate the favor at some point in the future. Even though the personal benefits of volunteering or helping acquaintances and strangers may not be as rewarding as helping a friend it can be rewarding none the less.

There are sociopaths, selfish individuals, and miserly types who help others only if they feel that they will get more back at some point in the future. Most moral individuals have been taught that helping others or being kind is a good thing and they help others because they feel it is the righteous thing to do and they feel good doing it most of the time. Interaction with moral humans is what makes happiness possible so don’t be overly disappointed or unhappy if not everyone appreciates your kind helping attitude because not everyone is moral.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

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30 WAYS TO REDUCE STRESS IN YOUR LIFE!!!

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If you have a stressful job then you are limited in the ways that you can reduce the bad stress unless you find a better one.

9 WAYS TO RELIEVE STRESS ON THE JOB–

Celebrate small successes with tasty food and/or drink with a minimum of sugar.

Stop thinking about past mistakes or failures as being overly important because they will probably be unimportant a month or year from now.

Do many similar small tasks all at once.

Divide a large task into smaller steps.

Be more selective in your information intake so you don’t drown in it.

Take 5 or 10 minute breaks during work and do non work related things.

Don’t procrastinate at a task because you will be stressed when you start running out of time.

Don’t work evenings and weekends except in emergencies.

Find or selfeducate yourself for a less stressful job.

21 WAYS TO REDUCE STRESS AT HOME AND AWAY FROM WORK:

Almost everywhere else the key to reducing stress is to take time out and do things which are not that stressful or they are things which you enjoy or could enjoy doing.

Here is a relatively comprehensive list of minimally stressful activities which you can start doing to considerably reduce the overall stress in your life:

Read an informative article, newspaper, blog, or book.

Look at soothing internet pictures of inspiring wildlife, landscapes, flowers, trees, etc.

Go to a comic cartoon website like gocomics.com and look at funny or inspiring cartoons which you prefer.

Surf the internet.

Write about something which doesn’t cause anxiety such as happy moments, a topic which interests you and can be researched, or even start a personal blog devoted to stuff which you really like.

Get involved in a hobby or hobbies that interest you.

Listen to your favorite music.

Watch movies that you like.

Meditate, breathe deeply, and think about something other than work.

Exercise.

Take a walk preferably outdoors.

Take a shower or bath.

Get a massage.

Get plenty of sleep.

Eat or drink something tasty without much sugar.

Email someone.

Have sex.

Stop arguing over politics, sports, religion, or beliefs which you can’t change.

Call a friend for a chat.

Volunteer and join a club or organization if you find the time.

Spend some time chatting or doing something with your offspring if you have any.

https://uldissprogis.com/2015/03/23/many-sources-of-bad-stress-and-what-to-do-about-them/

CONCLUSION:

The key to reducing stress is really just to find humans and activities which are not too stressful or cause you too much of the wrong kind of anxiety. If you can’t find humans who don’t cause you bad anxiety then learn to reduce stress on your own by doing many pleasurable things that make you personally happy and don’t lead to financial hardship.

Good friends are nice to have but bad ones with many personal problems or severe addictions should be avoided like a contagious disease. It is better to go it alone than to get mired in stressful relationships with dysfunctional humans.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3500 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

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16 POTENTIAL ENEMIES OF INTIMACY OR A RELATIONSHIP!!!

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Many of the enemies of a relationship are also enemies of intimacy. Intimacy is really a closeness of two humans emotionally and physically and anything which reduces this closeness can be considered to be a disruptive influence or a potential enemy.

Much less communication,

disrespectful and critical comments,

hiding or lying about true feelings and events causes distrust,

an overly domineering attitude which minimizes sharing,

getting bored with predictable repetitive routines,

adultery,

mental and/or physical abuse,

financial overspending,

loss of a job,

over dedication to job,

sexual denial by wife,

severe addiction,

irresponsible behavior,

disagreement on how to raise offspring,

getting old, and

an increase in combative or arguing behavior are potential causes of decreasing intimacy and correspondingly threats to the relationship.

Some may argue that loss of a job, financial overspending, a severe addiction, and adultery are indirect causes of a reduction in intimacy but all of these behaviors can directly increase arguing, distrust, disrespectful and critical comments so intimacy is still affected adversely even if this happens indirectly.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

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DO YOU NEED A THERAPIST?

therapy-Flickr

There are family councilors, general councilors, psychologists, and psychiatrists all claiming to have therapist status. There are also occupational, speech, and other specialized therapists who don’t treat relationship problems.

If you have acute insomnia, have frequent wild mood swings, have suicidal thoughts, are chronically depressed, or hear voices in your head then medication and a psychiatrist may be a logical alternative.

If you are depressed, have a dysfunctional family life, have a severe addiction, are stuck in an abusive relationship, or are going through a very traumatic moment in your life then a psychologist or councilor may be your best choice if you feel that you can no longer cope with your life on your own.

Finding a competent and reputable therapist is like looking for a needle in a haystack because most psychiatrists are interested in making money and are prone to offer pill solutions to severe problems which get you addicted and medicated for life with minimum time invested and no cure with many bad side effects.

Most psychologists and councilors are well intentioned but tend to be inexperienced, are steeped in situation ethics, and are too prone to give superficial advice on how to deal with severe emotional stress. Talking seldom solves severe problems which need radical environmental change which means changing a job, getting a divorce, going to rehab, or finding moral healthy friends to replace the bad ones.

Talking alone may result in a human leaving the therapists office in a good mood. But returning to their daily environment has all the trigger mechanisms which reinforce the bad habits which they have and the one hour therapy session can’t compete with a dysfunctional environment which reinforces the bad habits which the patient is burdened with.

Relatively minor relationship problems may be solved by a therapist but severe ones are seldom solved since it requires much money and major behavioral change which few adult humans are capable of because they are financially poor and trapped in their bad habits and bad environment on into the foreseeable future.

If you have integrity, are trustworthy, dependable, competent, friendly, and empathetic then chances are that you won’t need a therapist. If you don’t have integrity, are untrustworthy, not dependable, not competent, not friendly, and are not empathetic then all the therapy in the world will not cure you or solve your relationship problems. You are a severely handicapped dysfunctional human being that talking therapy will not cure.

If you are a city dweller with severe stress and emotional problems which are out of control and no therapy works on you then consider moving to a farm or farm community and getting in touch with nature and a heavy dose of physical labor. This kind of radical behavior modification may solve most of your severe emotional problems and recondition your mind and body in a healthy way.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

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MANY WAYS TO STIMULATE PERSONAL GROWTH!!!

personal-growth-22

If you are happy with what you are currently doing and your future seems bright then personal growth may not be necessary since you are already growing in the right direction. If you are somewhat discontented with your present status in life then a little personal growth may be what is needed.

To personally grow that basically means researching NEW knowledge, acquiring NEW skills, and experiencing NEW things and not doing the standard things which you like and avoiding what you dislike. To grow you need to stretch yourself beyond your present good and bad habits by doing something NEW or different.

Grow in selfawareness by not only reflecting on what you like or dislike but also by reflecting on your status or situation in the world around you. Being aware of your needs and wants and your personality weaknesses and strengths is important and you get there with much introspection and time spent alone to think. Real selfawareness means that you realistically assess what you can and can’t do now and in the future and decide what you would like to do in the future which is highly possible or probable.

Motivation to grow ultimately comes from within but external motivators such as good friends can also begin you on a path to personal growth. This is why it is important to try and associate with humans who are great or good role model humans. Just as important is to try and avoid or exclude humans from your life who are bad role models or have too many bad habits which can begin to rub off on you if you associate with them for too long.

Try to go outside your comfort zone and meet new humans which can even be friends of friends. With new friends might come new opportunities to do something different and engage in new experiences and new opinions and beliefs.

New experiences offer the opportunity to learn new things and interact with new humans who are passionate about what they are doing. A new hobby, traveling to new locations, joining a club or organization, volunteering, developing an interest in therapeutic nature on the internet and in person, and researching a new topic on the internet or reading a new book can all result in personal growth and an exposure to new opportunities and activities.

Declutter your life of many old possessions which you are not using on a regular basis and you will sense some liberation from the past. Watch much less drama TV where humans fight, argue, complain, and backstab and where we learn nothing new about the good life which we would actually want to lead.

All the above are ways to stimulate personal growth and the best time to start on that path is right now! Ultimately you are the one who has to make a conscious decision to act a little differently and grow into uncharted territory. What we are really asking of you to do is to rekindle that sense of childhood CURIOSITY about the world around you.

If you are rather old, jaded, and think that there is nothing new under the sun and that you already know everything useful then stimulating your CURIOSITY may be a lost cause and personal growth is out of the question. I personally don’t believe that an old human can’t learn something new which will benefit them in some way. New learning is definitely a way of staying mentally young and active on into old age.

The most important principle of personal growth is to BE CURIOUS and to maintain that CURIOSITY until the day that you die! Starting to ask questions about the world around you is a good way to start!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

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WHEN AND WHEN NOT TO APOLOGIZE!!!

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Sometimes apologies are appropriate. Sometimes an apology must be followed by some form of compensation and/or a promise not to do something again, especially if there is physical damage or you have done something very bad or very wrong.

You should apologize IF–

you make an unintentional mistake,

behave badly,

offend someone who unintentionally made a mistake or did something wrong,

offend someone with harsh criticism, insults, put downs, name calling, humiliation, or ridicule,

don’t fulfill a promise,

don’t fulfill a responsibility,

are late for an appointment,

damage someone’s personal property,

miss a deadline,

provide incorrect or incomplete information,

unintentionally bump into someone,

show up in casual attire to a formal occasion,

miss an appointment, and

fail to include someone or inform them.

There are many other situations where you may feel like apologizing but it is really not necessary.

You don’t have to apologize IF-

You are promoting yourself in some project and need support from others whom you have to ask for minimal help.

Someone is physically in your way and you have to ask them to move.

You are doing your job or asking others to do theirs.

You have different opinions and beliefs than others.

You are dressed casually and look casual for ordinary events.

You cancel plans with proper notice.

You are appropriately emotional and not too emotional for a given situation or circumstance.

You nag since what has to be done is not getting done and force and reasoning is not an option.

You interrupt or try to change the subject during a monopolizing or very trivial meeting or conversation.

You don’t promptly respond to mundane communications because you are busy or have more important things to do.

You ask someone to stop doing something incredibly annoying.

You are asking for help or a small favor.

You are asking for a raise.

You are asking questions which are not very personal to acquaintances.

You are not perfect since no one is.

Your lifestyle is different from the norm.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 475!!!

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If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

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8 IMPORTANT FACTORS IN CLOSE GOOD RELATIONSHIPS!!!

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If you have integrity and are trustworthy, dependable, competent, friendly, and empathetic then your chances of forming close, good relationships is optimized. Being immoral and having many bad habits or one or more severe handicapping bad addictions will almost always ruin the possibility of close, good relationships. That being said there are 8 important factors which affect the strength of a bonding relationship:

TRUST:

Trust is the most important bonding characteristic which makes a relationship possible in the first place. Being honest, sincere, and moral or having integrity means that a relationship can potentially flourish if nurtured further.

Lie, steal, or commit adultery and trust can’t exist. Some dysfunctional relationships continue to exist without trust because of fear of abandonment or the fear of physical violence but these relationships are definitely not good or happy ones.

COMMUNICATION:

A relationship is threatened and often ruined if the communication is very bad, if there is very little of it, and definitely ruined when there is no communication at all.

Ideal communication is being a good listener, asking relevant questions, being relatively brief in responses, respecting opposing opinions or beliefs, not being verbally abusive or offensive, and interrupting or changing the subject if the conversation becomes too verbose, too trivial, too emotional, or irrelevant.

RESPECT:

If you have integrity then you will be respected but respect can also be increased with appropriate kindness, gratitude, caring, empathy, openness, listening, dependability, responsibility, competence, expertise, confidence, tolerance of opposing opinions and beliefs, and respect increases by not being verbally or physically abusive. A socially prominent respected human will often also be admired.

RESPONSIBILITY:

A responsible human accepts the consequences of his or her actions and does not try to find excuses or blame others for his or her own mistakes and failures. Moral, parental, behavioral, and financial responsibility is essential for a good relationship.

COOPERATION:

Sharing and/or compromising on parental, household, and financial responsibilities is the essence of what cooperation is. Mutually agreeing on what is to be done by who at what time is what cooperation between two or more individuals means. Whether it is between two individuals or an entire team or organization a good relationship depends on successful cooperation.

BEING GOOD ROLE MODELS:

A good relationship thrives if the participants in the relationship are good role models. This is particularly important in parenting where offspring will do what you do rather than do what you tell them to do. Words are rather weak motivators if your personal behavior and your words don’t match up. If you are a good friend then associate with humans who are also good friends or try to mostly have relationships with good role model humans.

Realistically not that many are good role models and you will also have to learn how to interact with quite a few bad role models in the course of a lifetime without becoming overly cynical, jaded, or spoiled.

INDIVIDUAL FREEDOM:

In any relationship one must respect individual interests and pursuits which make a relationship interesting and potentially more rewarding. Encouraging or motivating someone to pursue their individual interests and build upon their strengths is usually good for a relationship.

PATIENCE:

Not every problem or confrontation needs an urgent solution. Sometimes some research, further discussion, consulting with competent adults, and just letting more time to pass determines whether mutual agreement is possible or whether a live and let live attitude is preferable.

Transient angry confrontations should be minimized by patiently waiting until a given situation can be calmly discussed instead. Angry confrontations often cause insults, put downs, name calling, humiliation, and ridicule which just creates bad feelings and no resolution of the conflict.  

Important problems with potential solutions need patient waiting until enough information and resolve grows to a point where a solution is obvious and possible.

Most parental relationships have a dominant or controlling partner who makes most of the important family decisions and runs the risk of becoming too tyrannical and impulsive with her or his demands. Emotional patience is often a virtue and patiently doing something is less of a virtue especially if it takes the form of procrastination on too many things.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

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10 VERY DESTRUCTIVE HUMAN BEHAVIORS!!!

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Very destructive human behaviors are lying, stealing, cheating, violence, bullying, gossiping, gambling, bad habits, stressing, etc.. Here is a link to livescience.com which explains 10 of the worst bad behaviors.

http://www.livescience.com/14152-destructive-human-behaviors-bad-habits.html

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

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HOW TO BE MORE CHARMING!!!

Charm-School-1st-Level

Charm: v. to arouse pleasantness and/or admiration by being visually attractive and polite and friendly and likable

If you want to be more charming, especially to the opposite sex then you have to be visually more attractive, polite, friendly, and likable.

If you are polite, friendly, and likable chances are that you will still be attractive even though you may not be handsome or beautiful and well off financially with nice clothes, car, house, and costly adult toys.

Yes, many humans marry uncharming humans who are not that friendly, not that polite, not very likable, and borderline attractive. Many eventually end up in divorce because truly charming individuals are a rarity in society and there is no proof that charming individuals have longer duration marriages, especially in overly promiscuous societies. A charming individual is really an idealized human being with an abundance of good human behaviors and unfortunately in the real world most humans fall far short of this idealized state of charm.

 

Politeness: n. intentional respect and consideration and using accepted social etiquette

Politeness varies to some extent from culture to culture and the etiquette has some minor and major differences. Showing respect and consideration is also slightly different from culture to culture since it is dependent on etiquette to some extent.

Likability is mostly a question of showing that you care about someone and are empathetic. Nurturing and protecting another human is what caring is all about. Being empathetic takes some emotional intelligence and it means being able to detect impulsively or by asking relevant questions how a human is feeling at the moment and often how they are feeling about a given subject of conversation.

Humans like to be respected and one way to show this is to be genuinely glad when meeting someone. Being a good listener, asking relevant sincere and open ended questions, eye contact, mimicking a smile, frown, or head nod are ways of showing that you care about another human’s conversation and that you empathize with what they are saying. Giving humans this feedback is the essence of human bonding through conversation and gesture which demonstrates an ability to get more intimate with another human. By listening more yet still smartly conversing you are making the other human feel important and respected which raises your likability factor considerably.

Likability also increases when you occasionally reveal a vulnerability or a weakness proving that you are not perfect but just another slightly flawed human who also has failed on occasion. You come across as a genuine likable human and not an overconfident, arrogant, egotistical fake perfectionist.

Another obvious vulnerability is making a mistake. Likable humans own up to mistakes, take full responsibility, sometimes promise to not make the same mistake again, and sometimes make a joke or laugh at the mistake. Often others laugh with you and not at you. They like you more because you are genuine and not perfect and other humans often empathize with you rather than mock you.

Opposing opinions can often lead to arguments and confrontations if you always look for opposing views to challenge. A likeable human embarks on trying to find places of agreement first to converse about and has a live and let live tolerant view of strongly held opinions and beliefs which are usually not subject to change.

Being friendly is far more complex. You are considered friendly if you are friendly in very similar ways no matter what the status of the human and treat them with common respectful conversation without being rude, arrogant, or offensive. Try very hard to remember names and even the names of best friends and close relatives. Friendly humans usually don’t name drop and try to brag or impress others with celebrity status connections if there are any.

Finally friendliness is a function of your good basic personality. If you have integrity and are trustworthy, dependable, competent, caring, empathetic, confident, and communicate well then many more humans will be attracted to you and you will be able to bond more closely with better friends and significant others who share most of your basic traits.

Charming an audience or charming a potential spouse has some different skill sets but the foundational behaviors of charming individuals is largely the same and only vary in degree and not substance.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 334!!!

FotorCreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

LYING: AN IMMORAL SOCIAL SCOURGE!!!

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Trust is the human bond which makes successful close marital and friendship relationships possible. Without trust a good or great relationship is not possible and if one exists then it is highly dysfunctional filled with misery and trauma. Lie once about a rather unimportant thing and the transgression can be forgiven without dire consequences but develop a habit of lying about little things and soon it escalates into lying about important things and disastrous relationship results follow.

That being said deception and lying is escalating in western cultures, fly by night businesses victimize many with their miraculous deceptive promises, politicians tell humans what they want to hear and when they get elected it is business as usual and all their lying promises are forgotten, and humans lie to each other and then wonder why so many hoped for potential new relationships wind up in the toilet.

There are 7 basic excuses or possible reasons for why some humans lie and none of them are justifiable in the long duration.

Young offspring sometimes try to lie to avoid PUNISHMENT for bad or wrong behavior and sometimes adults try to avoid punishing social criticism or disapproval by lying about their unacceptable behavior.

Adults sometimes lie to EXPLOIT others or gain an advantage. Charismatic con artist are often pathological liars good at making humans feel good, good at creating an illusion of high monied status, and good at manipulating the basic greed of gullible humans. Ordinary humans also sometimes try to gain social advantage by exaggerated praise and kissing up to others, especially authority figures from whom they expect future favors.

Escaping ACCOUNTABILITY is a reason some lie to escape taking blame for unfulfilled promises and blame for irresponsible behavior or stupid mistakes.

Criminals lie to try and get away with STEALING something which doesn’t belong to them and students sometimes lie about cheating or STEALING information which they don’t have memorized. Bosses or coworkers sometimes lie trying to STEAL credit for something a worker has accomplished. Some men lie to STEAL sex from women who would not voluntarily give it knowing the truth.

Some humans lie about their fictitious accomplishments trying to “steal” admiration from others or to gain a COMPETIVE ADVANTAGE in a job application.

Some sadly lie to themselves about their real worth and potential trying to make themselves FEEL GOOD while living a rather mundane existence.

Some lie to inflict mental and sometimes physical PAIN. Being called ugly, stupid, being victimized by an untrue bit of gossip, and being told to do something illegal which we are assured is legal are just a few of the cruel ways that some humans lie to us to inflict pain and often cause pleasure in the cruel offender.

CONCLUSION:

Your lying will eventually destroy your social reputation and the only way that liars can make a living at it is to become a gypsy traveling the world looking for new suckers to take your lying bait.

The internet is making it possible to scam the world and do so from one general location so deceitful lying humans are here to stay on into the foreseeable future but hopefully their numbers will decrease and not increase.

What is really needed is a universal accepted secular morality where lying of any kind is considered an immoral transgression. Without that secular morality lying will continue to create chaos and plague humanity on into the distant future.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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THE TRUTH ABOUT SCOURGE

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Scourge: v. to cause great trouble and/or suffering

Scourgen: n. causing great trouble and/or suffering

Medieval plagues scourged cities and towns causing much trouble and suffering including death. Today fatal diseases causing massive death are fewer in number although perhaps cancer can be considered to still be a social scourgen.

Unemployment after a massive recession scourges many individuals and less noticeable are the many unjust laws which scourge small businesses in the United States and favor big business.

Lying can be considered to be a social scourgen because it breaks down trust between individuals, and between individuals and leaders, politicians, and deceptive businesses and causes much human trouble and suffering.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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6 IMPORTANT SOURCES OF UNHAPPINESS AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT THEM!!!

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COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS:

Some humans compare themselves to others with more money or higher status in society and feel envious, less worthy, or frustrated by the comparison and it can be the source for some unhappiness. Compare yourself to the destitute and unemployed or the severely handicapped and you should automatically feel grateful or thankful that you are better off than them. If a comparison motivates you to work for a better job and more socially connected friends then that is a positive result but if you just wallow in frustrated envy and do nothing then the comparison will just be a source of ongoing unhappiness so stop comparing yourself.

WORRYING ABOUT THE FUTURE:

Some humans worry too much about what things can go wrong in the future and live with too much fear about a bad future. Taking out life insurance, health insurance, and property insurance should protect you against most disasters to some extent. Saving up about 10% of your earnings for emergencies is about all that you can do realistically to protect yourself from minor financial setbacks. Eat healthy and get plenty of exercise and sleep and you will feel as secure about your future as is realistically possible in this somewhat unpredictable world. If you can’t afford insurance then live a courageous healthy lifestyle and feel secure that government welfare will be your safety net if the shit hits the fan.

HOLDING ON TO ANGER AND RESENTMENT:

Holding on to anger and resentment for too long can also be a source for much unhappiness. Learn to forgive and forget the occasional mistakes, insults, put downs, name calling, ridicule, and bad behavior of others and conditionally forgive immoral behavior if you get a sincere promise that it will never happen again. If the source of your anger and resentment is a very bad family life and you can’t solve the problems by compromise and cooperation then you may have to consider divorce as the only possible alternative out of your dysfunctional marriage.

REPEATING THE SAME MISTAKES:

Repeating the same mistakes over and over again can lead to much unhappiness. Getting involved with bad humans or friends over and over again or falling for dysfunctional potential mates over and over again or going from one shitty job to another shitty one over and over again are repeated mistakes which are definitely a source for ongoing unhappiness and stress. You may have a bad personality which attracts other bad humans so it is up to you to reform yourself by acquiring new useful knowledge and skills and then choosing better friends, better mates, and better jobs.

LIVING IN THE PAST TOO MUCH:

Living in the past can be a source for unhappiness especially for older adults. A bad past life may cause you to live regretting what you did and a good past may be the source for boring humans with repetitive stories about your great past successes and thus having few if any interested friends in old age. Learn to focus on the present and future with new hobbies or interests. Volunteer to help others in greater need or surf the internet for interesting new useful material to read about and view if you are on a tight budget. If you can’t keep physically active then at least try to stay mentally active and learn about new interesting things. Stop dreaming about the past and do something active mentally and/or physically in the real world and in the relatively few remaining years which you have left in life.

 

BEING ADDICTED TO ONE SEVERE OR TOO MANY BAD HABITS:

Being addicted to too many bad habits can also be the source for much unhappiness. Lying, TOO MUCH complaining, criticizing, bragging, jealousy, procrastination, blaming, pessimism, gossiping, arguing, gambling, drugs, alcohol, pornography, shopping, etc. are all bad habits which if done to excess can cause terrible consequences and can be the source for much unhappiness in your life. I have listed about 32 bad habits and what you can do about them in three blogs which I published and you can refer to them for further enlightenment. Remember, if you don’t know what your bad habit is then you can’t correct it. Enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/2014/12/14/10-relationship-bad-habits-with-suggestions-part-1-of-3/

https://uldissprogis.com/2014/12/15/10-relationship-bad-habits-with-suggestions-part-2-of-3/

https://uldissprogis.com/2014/12/16/12-relationship-bad-habits-with-suggestions-part-3-of-3/

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THE TRUTH ABOUT CLUE!!!

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Clue: n. a subset(s) potentially useful in solving a problem(s) and/or identifying a set(s)

A clue in a mystery, crime, puzzle, or unidentified event is a bit of information used alone or with other clues to solve a mystery, crime, puzzle, or unknown event or to infer some fact and/or fiction from a clue(s).  Much experience and/or knowledge is often needed to extrapolate valid information from clues only and most extrapolations are merely statistical assumptions or guesses which are not frequently that accurate in real life.

Circumstantial evidence is sometimes presented as a clue(s) or proof of a crime when in reality there is only a statistical probability that the evidence is really valid and not just an exercise in guilt by association.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3200 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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THE TRUTH ABOUT HINT!!!

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Hint: v. to partially reveal a fact and/or fiction and/or to reveal a subset(s) and implying a set(s)

A hint always assumes to some extent that you have the ability to infer a fact and/or fiction from incomplete information. From experience some humans make associations from hints rather successfully but others are very bad at taking hints and generalizing to what you want them to think about.

Some games challenge you to guess the “right” answer based upon hints but unfortunately you usually need a very good memory to guess right and most common humans with average memories soon tire or get bored with the games.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3200 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 217!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 216!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 213!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 215!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 214!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 212!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 211!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 210!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 207!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 206!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 205!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 204!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 203!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 202!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 201!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 200!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 199!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 198!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 197!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 196!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 194!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 195!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 192!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 191!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 190!!!

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SHARING 17 ATTRACTIVE FEMALES!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 189!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 188!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 187!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 184!!!

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