Perhaps one of the most difficult things to do is problem solving where you frequently don’t know where to start or how to start.
1. IDENTIFY THE PROBLEM:
You may have an overspending problem but neither one of you know how to budget money or stop much of your impulse buying which is a bad habit and feels like the logical or natural thing to do. If you spend when you feel like it or as long as there is credit on your credit card and budgeting doesn’t even surface as a potential way of solving your problems then you will probably wallow in your old bad spending habits and never find a solution to them. Frequently an inability to find a solution to the problem results in mutual blame. You are spending too much money and the other spouse replies that no, you are the one spending too much money and an absence of problem solution results in the blame game and nagging complaints which never get resolved.
These days there is no excuse for not solving problems because all you have to do is identify it or put it into one or more words. “Overspending problem” can be Googled and you are on your way to solving your problem with continued searches with other key words and Google suggestions.
Once you have identified the problem then you have to find possible solutions.
2. FINDING SOLUTIONS:
Find solutions by asking the questions who will solve the problem, what are the solutions to the problem, when the problem can be solved, where the problem can be solved, how much it will cost to solve the problem, and how the problem can be solved. All of these questions can be inputted as a Google search. For example, “what are the solutions to overspending” can be Googled and you will start getting answers to your problem.
If you have offspring and are having discipline problems with them then Google “discipline problems” and you will be on your way to finding solutions to them.
If you are not happy with one search engine then try another one such as Bing and you will even find age appropriate suggestions for disciplining offspring.
Another way of finding solutions to problems is to find a website which has articles about solving household problems. Moneytalksnews.com founded by Stacy Johnson is an excellent website which offers many solutions to money problems in family life which are usually the reason that you are having problems in family life in the first place. Manage your money wisely and if you have compatible personalities then your married life should be successful.
3. SELECT OR DECIDE WHAT THE BEST ALTERNATIVE SOLUTION IS:
If there is more than one solution to your problem then you will have to decide which is the best one to choose. The best solution will probably be the one which takes the least amount of time and the least money and a solution which can be scheduled into your busy or not so busy lifestyle.
4. IMPLEMENTING THE SOLUTION:
Nothing gets done unless you follow up a problem with actions designed to solve it so WHEN you are going to start to do something about it becomes a very important decision. If the solution is long and complicated then you will have a tendency to want to procrastinate or put it off as much as possible so you will have to learn how to set aside some time and apply a little selfdiscipline and get off your butt and DO something about the problem. My recommendation is to start as soon as possible or you will probably never find the courage to start to do something about it.
Getting reeducated for a better paying job is frequently a potential solution to your problems but so many of us never get around to it because it requires so much of our time, sometimes money, and we never have the courage or selfdiscipline or selfcontrol to start on the difficult path to improve skills and knowledge and actually do something constructive about our poor finances.
5. FEEDBACK OR MONITORING YOUR PROGRESS:
If the solution to the problem is rather complex and lengthy then you should monitor your progress to reassure yourself that you are making progress toward your goal of solving the problem. If you are not making progress fast enough you may consider devoting more time or money to the solution of the problem to speed up the process of solving it if you are starting to get a little impatient.
Sometimes problem solving is a simple matter of addressing a complaint and deciding whether to ignore it, eliminate the source or cause of the complaint, or deny that it should be a complaint in the first place.
You never help around the kitchen or house is sometimes a nagging complaint by a busy wife who sees you lounging around the kitchen or house and not helping with any of the work in preparing the meal, setting the table, washing the dishes and silverware, or vacuuming the carpet.
Traditionally men would just simply say that meals or vacuuming are women’s work and ignore any complaints about not helping. These days with many a working wife it is just not fair to ask a woman to do all the traditional female housework tasks without helping out a little.
I usually help set the table and do the cleanup and dishes after the meal is finished. I have also participated in sharing some of the cooking preparation or actual cooking itself but that requires a little finesse because your wife probably has set ways of preparing a meal and if you try to deviate from her plans you will get resistance or complaints. The old adage about too many ideological cooks in the kitchen is true to some extent and it is sometimes a real challenge to put up with being dogmatically ordered around during meal preparation.
In the beginning my wife was very dogmatic about the way that she prepared her meals and wanted very little deviation from her old way of doing the meal but she has slowly come around and agreed to some of my recommended changes to make a meal more tasty for all concerned which may simply mean a little less salt and pepper and a little less spices or different spices or added ingredients for the meal.
If meal preparation is not an option because it takes too long then you can order a takeout meal for all family members and satisfy their individual taste preferences when they are old enough to make good healthy food choices.
If you liked this evergreen blog read more of them and read one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE.