Tag Archives: apology

WHEN AND WHEN NOT TO APOLOGIZE!!!

140825125200-apology-note-story-top

Sometimes apologies are appropriate. Sometimes an apology must be followed by some form of compensation and/or a promise not to do something again, especially if there is physical damage or you have done something very bad or very wrong.

You should apologize IF–

you make an unintentional mistake,

behave badly,

offend someone who unintentionally made a mistake or did something wrong,

offend someone with harsh criticism, insults, put downs, name calling, humiliation, or ridicule,

don’t fulfill a promise,

don’t fulfill a responsibility,

are late for an appointment,

damage someone’s personal property,

miss a deadline,

provide incorrect or incomplete information,

unintentionally bump into someone,

show up in casual attire to a formal occasion,

miss an appointment, and

fail to include someone or inform them.

There are many other situations where you may feel like apologizing but it is really not necessary.

You don’t have to apologize IF-

You are promoting yourself in some project and need support from others whom you have to ask for minimal help.

Someone is physically in your way and you have to ask them to move.

You are doing your job or asking others to do theirs.

You have different opinions and beliefs than others.

You are dressed casually and look casual for ordinary events.

You cancel plans with proper notice.

You are appropriately emotional and not too emotional for a given situation or circumstance.

You nag since what has to be done is not getting done and force and reasoning is not an option.

You interrupt or try to change the subject during a monopolizing or very trivial meeting or conversation.

You don’t promptly respond to mundane communications because you are busy or have more important things to do.

You ask someone to stop doing something incredibly annoying.

You are asking for help or a small favor.

You are asking for a raise.

You are asking questions which are not very personal to acquaintances.

You are not perfect since no one is.

Your lifestyle is different from the norm.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 425!!!

FotorCreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 200!!!

FotorCreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3000 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 184!!!

FotorCreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3000 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

32 SMART THINGS GREAT LEADERS SAY FREQUENTLY!!!

LION OF JUDAH

Leaders should be short, sincere, and to the point in their communications but each of these phrases can be embellished with added words when it seems the appropriate thing to do.

 

Leaders offer earned or justified praise to their workers which is a very good motivational tool. You can personalize praise and adjust it to a sports fan by using phrases such as home run and touchdown but it is not very appropriate for female employees:

Congratulations!

Thank you

Great job

Nice work

You earned it

You outdid yourself

I’ll remember this forever

I’m proud of you

I couldn’t do it better

It’s new but I like it

You’re the best at that

 

Leaders admit when they’re wrong or made a mistake. When both are responsible for the failure they share the blame:

I’m sorry

I’m wrong; your right

I apologize

My fault, sorry

Let’s learn from this

We’ll do it right next time

 

Leaders affirm that they are a source of help if needed:

You can count on me

I’ll try my best

I’m here to help

I’ll help if needed

It’s my pleasure

I’ll support you

Let’s check your data

 

Leaders remind a worker of his or her importance:

I’m listening

I believe in you

Back me up

I need you

You come highly recommended

Make a suggestion

 

Leaders delay a conversation for latter when pressed for time or when no immediate answer is possible:

Let’s table that topic for now!

We’ll get back to this later!

Let’s discuss this further at a later time!

 

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1100 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

common_sense (1)

THE TRUTH ABOUT FORGIVENESS

Forgiveness1

Forgiveness: n. not punishing someone for reaching the wrong goal(s) and/or doing a bad behavior(s) and saying to the offender “I forgive you”

There is basically complete forgiveness and conditional forgiveness. When you are wrongly criticized, your feelings are hurt, or someone injures you in some way there is a tendency to want to punish that human for the offense.

If the injury was intentional then forgiveness is harder to do but if you suspect that the injury was unintentional then forgiveness is a realistic option since we all make mistakes sometimes and offend humans without really wanting to.

If someone is intentionally trying to ruin your reputation or trying to get you fired from a job then forgiveness may not be a viable option because they are trying to ruin your social status.

Bad humans exist in society in relative abundance and if you can’t avoid them or ignore them then challenging them head on and fighting for justice may be the only realistic way of dealing with a situation. If someone acts like your enemy and tries to destroy you socially then you should fight back to the best of your ability and put up a good fight even though the odds may be against you winning the battle.

In marital life your spouse is not your enemy or at least shouldn’t be so forgiving for bad behavior is frequently necessary to avoid the burden of vengeful hateful feelings festering in your mind. Moral transgressions such as adultery may be forgiven maybe once or twice but it should be conditional forgiveness and you should demand a sincere promise to not be adulterous again. If you don’t get a sincere promise to not be adulterous again then threatening with a divorce and actually going through with it is a realistic option.

Lying is also a moral transgression which should not be tolerated in marriage or with close friendships because sooner rather than later a trusting relationship will break down and the relationship will no longer be one worth saving. Once again conditional forgiveness is necessary where you insist that lying again won’t be tolerated.

How many times can your partner in a relationship lie to you with forgiveness from you? Life is not mathematics so there is no rule of thumb with which to determine how many times you can forgive lying. It probably depends much on what the lying is about. If your relationship is lying about important things in your life then chances are you will not be able to maintain a trusting relationship for very long.

Forgiving offspring for bad behavior is necessary but you should insist on a sincere apology from the offspring. In the case of a moral transgression such as lying or stealing conditional forgiveness is necessary with a sincere promise that it will not happen again.

Coupled with the conditional forgiveness should be a threat of severe punishment or withdrawal of important privileges for a long duration if the moral transgression happens again because lying and stealing should not be tolerated in trusting family relationships.

Conditional forgiveness can be demanded by asking the offender to compensate for the wrong done. For adults the compensation may be money and for offspring it may be requesting that they do household chores for a week or two as a form of punishment for the offense.

There should be unpleasant consequences for important transgressions coupled with conditional forgiveness but for the minor offenses in life a sincere apology is sufficient to get complete and unconditional forgiveness. There are adults who will not apologize under any circumstances and many of them can also be unconditionally forgiven.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 800 so far, and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

THE TRUTH ABOUT APOLOGY

apology_mouse

Apology: n. regretfully communicating the acknowledgement of a mistake(s) and/or bad behavior(s) which frequently injures someone and/or hurts someone’s feelings and/or sense of selfworth

Most apologies should start off with a sincere “Sorry”, demonstrating genuine regret that you made a mistake or did something bad which injured a human or hurt their feelings and/or sense of selfworth.

Most have a very high regard for themselves and don’t want to admit that they did something immoral, bad, or made a mistake.

Sometimes we hope that if we don’t respond with an apology then the mistake or bad behavior won’t be noticed. Wrong. If possible you should almost always apologize sooner rather than later because you don’t want to start to create an impression that you have a deceptive personality and that you will only apologize if caught for a misdeed but otherwise are secretive about it.

Sometimes we name call with words like stupid, crazy, lazy, bitch, ugly, and pig, argue feverishly, harshly criticize, ridicule, offend, and use put down phrases hurting someone’s feelings and/or sense of selfworth.

An apology should frequently be forthcoming if you do any of the above insensitive non empathetic things. Making up is frequently the phrase used to signify that you are sorry for what you did. You can sometimes do the apology with more than just words and follow it up by doing or promising to do something nice to make up for the bad behavior.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, approximately 700 so far, and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

Enjoy!!!!!!