Be loyal devoted best friends and the relationship will even endure once the sex becomes less frequent or non-existent.
Learn to listen fully to what your spouse is communicating and respond calmly if you are not angry, hungry, or tired. Learn to become a good listener and calm cooperative communicator instead of an angry confrontational opponent.
Try to never lie because honesty, sincerity, and telling the truth creates a trustworthy relationship accompanied by respect and admiration. Even white lies are unnecessary because there are diplomatic ways of communicating objections.
If you don’t like a dress then say that it is nice but that it is not your favorite color combination, pattern, style, or shape. If you don’t like a meal then communicate that it is a little too spicy, salty, or contains a food which is not your favorite. Save your superlative words such as beautiful and wonderful for things which you really like or approve of. Permanent hurt feelings will only exist if you use extreme words such as hate and ugly for things your spouse loves.
Plan ahead and revel in your successes and try to ignore past mistakes and don’t continue to blame a spouse for past mistakes. Learn to forget and forgive if it is not a marriage threatening situation. Find solutions to your problems and act on them or try to do something about your problems. Stop the blame game.
Find, identify, and pursue common goals which may change in priority as the marriage progresses. Working towards common goals with teamwork will strengthen a marriage and not weaken it because you will be sharing an experience which you both consider important.
Be open to adaptation and change. Nothing remains constant in marriage forever and new problems will surface which may need new approaches to solving them. Optimistically confront the new situations and adapt accordingly.
Learn to budget your money so that impulsive profligate spending does not interfere with an otherwise good relationship and become a major source of arguments which will threaten the marriage since bad money management is the number one reason for divorce.
Support or nurture your spouse’s personal passions and primary interests as long as they do not threaten to lead to financial bankruptcy.
Drop relationships with pessimistic untrustworthy friends and humans with dysfunctional marriages. Find new friends who are happily married or are confronting life with optimistic realism.
Don’t be adulterous. Adultery is the second leading cause of divorce so don’t do it. It creates fear of abandonment, distrust, jealousy, hatred, and anger in a relationship which any good relationship should not tolerate.
Finally, the traditional purpose of marriage was to raise successful happy offspring. If you are financially responsible and can afford it then offspring should be high on your priority list. To help you in this endeavor read one or more of my evergreen books LOVEALL, MODERN PARENTING, and GOOD MODERN BEHAVIORS.
If you liked this evergreen blog then read more of them.