Tag Archives: caring

CARING: THE KEY TO A LASTING HAPPY FAMILY

In an age of self absorption and extension of childhood selfishness many humans are beginning to lose an understanding of what it means to care. Historically men were the primary breadwinners, somewhat disciplinarian, and cared much less about raising offspring and about the emotional nuances which women were so adept at. Times have changed and both spouses often want careers and a major fatality is often neglected or ignored offspring. At no other time has caring for spouse and offspring been more important and it seems to be a dying skill which should be resurrected.

Caring fundamentally means to nurture and protect.  Nurturing fundamentally means encouraging or motivating the growth, development, or improvement of the love subject. If you care about someone then you encourage, praise where appropriate, empathize, converse or talk with, share experiences together, show affection and kindness, and offer your help and opinion as needed.

Protection fundamentally means trying to keep your family from harm or injury of a mental or physical kind. Mental protection may mean defending your spouse’s opinions, beliefs, and actions from abusive or critical humans. Physical protection may mean installing smoke alarms as an early warning of fire or stepping in to prevent violence on your spouse or offspring.

Caring for spouse and offspring is much more difficult if you don’t have a vocabulary of appropriate words to use when dealing with various emotional states. For example, what appropriate words of empathy do you use when a spouse or offspring seem to have had a bad day and are in a depressed mood? Do you ignore this depressed mood or empathize and say I know how you feel, tomorrow will be better, or how can I lift your spirits?

There is hatred, disgust, sadness, anger, envy or jealousy, fear, shame, pity, happiness, sympathy, anticipation, suffering, kindness, love, affection, surprise and other nuanced emotions which a human can display. How good are you at recognizing these emotions and what do you say or do when they are manifested or displayed in your spouse or offspring? Reading someone’s emotions and knowing the right responses is what emotional intelligence is all about. Emotional intelligence often only comes to humans with a lot of experience or interactions with all kinds of humans over a long period of time.

Caring is largely an acquired skill whose foundation lies in a human who is really interested in other humans and what makes them tick. If you are a novice at caring then my recommendation is that you read some books or articles about human emotions and feelings with plenty of real life examples to demonstrate this emotional behavior. Learn the vocabulary of emotions and their nuances so you can then begin to think about the emotions which humans are showing in your presence. This knowledge will become especially handy when you are teaching your offspring about the emotions which they are displaying so they too can begin to verbalize what is going on with them emotionally. Self emotional awareness is especially useful in life when evaluating interactions with other humans. Humans may not remember what you did but they will usually remember how you made them feel.

Fundamentally humans will either like, love, or approve of what you say or do or will disapprove or strongly disagree with what you say or do. Yes, there is often a third reaction which is just ignoring what you say or do. Learning how to react to this approval, disapproval, or ignoring is very important in life because relationships survive or gradually fade away based on appropriate or inappropriate responses or reactions.

Caring often means that you are willing to spend time, energy, effort, and money interacting with other humans, especially your spouse and offspring. Don’t spend enough time, energy, effort, and money on a human and they may begin to think that you are ignoring them and don’t really care that much about them. With many offspring one of them will feel less loved if you don’t spend as much time, energy, effort, and money on them as on the other offspring with which you are more generous with. Similarly you may feel less loved if your spouse lavishes much more time, energy, effort, and money on the offspring and not enough on you.

An important indication of caring is caring enough to spend adequate time conversing or discussing disagreements or problems and not constantly transitioning into an argumentative mode where someone must win the argument. Whenever a disagreement occurs it is important to try and learn the basic reason for it and to evaluate whether there is some truth to it or it is just an emotional point of view without a foundation.

Listening is very important as well as using plenty of follow up questions to pinpoint the foundation of the reason for being angry about something. What made you angry, why are you angry, and whose fault do you think it is for making you angry are all valid questions. Is there something that I or you can change to resolve the problem or source of your anger? Is it a situation which we will just have to live with or will it go away on its own with the passage of time?

Spending time, energy, effort, and money on your family can be looked at as a personal sacrifice of time, energy, effort, and money which you could have spent on yourself instead if you were single. A better way of looking at it is to think and believe that spending your time, energy, effort, and money is an investment in the family which will benefit you in the short and long run with a happy ongoing family life, successful adult offspring, and happy retirement years together with spouse, adult offspring, and possibly grandchildren.

With a family compromises are inevitable. Both spouses are bound to have differences and complaints about one another. The wife may feel that the husband is not spending enough time interacting with the offspring and the husband may think that the wife is spending too much money on fashionable clothes and shopping for miscellaneous items which aren’t really essential. A possible win win situation or compromise may be for the husband to promise to spend more time with the offspring and do some housework which the offspring are not old enough to do and the wife may promise to spend less money shopping and promise to consult with the husband for non food and non beverage purchases. So the husband promises to schedule his time and activities to better meet the wife’s demands and the wife promises to budget the money spent on what are mostly non essentials.

An important aspect of caring is motivating or encouraging family members with praise and other forms of reward. Well done, I knew you could do it, good job, that’s the right attitude, I like what you did, you did that better than your best friend, you kept your cool, wonderful, nice, you can do it, work smart and hard for it, couldn’t have done it better, what you are doing will pay off in the near future, I think you can do it, give it a try, you will never know unless you try, graduate from high school with great grades and I will buy you a used car, etc. are all words of encouragement which can be used to positively motivate family members to do well, behave well, and improve in some way with new skills, behaviors, and knowledge.

Caring about your family members, being a good role model, and having a good paying job is about 90% of a lasting loving parental relationship. You will have your ups and downs and family members will have their ups and downs but ultimately if you give a damn and do your best as a parent and breadwinner your family should be a happy successful one.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 5100 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTHUPDATED NEW QUOTES, and DON’T BE INEFFICIENT, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1777!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 5100 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTHUPDATED NEW QUOTES, and DON’T BE INEFFICIENT, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1604!!!

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4900 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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Enjoy!!!!!!

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GOOD RELATIONSHIPS!!!

Most young adults were asked what would make them happy and a popular response is to have money or be rich and famous. In a longitudinal Harvard study beginning in the 1930’s and still going on about 75 years later the conclusion seems to be that GOOD RELATIONSHIPS are the key to a happy life. We will investigate what a good relationship is and how you can optimize the chances that you will have good relationships throughout a lifetime.

There are many kinds of relationships which can even be called forms of friendships which are very close, close, casual, and rather remote or what could be called acquaintances.

There are minimal or borderline relationships where the contact between a human is minimal or even nonexistent. We are talking here about the relationships which you may have with national politicians, celebrities, writers, or hero like role models which you mostly just view, listen to, or read about but they still impact your life and choices to some extent. Most of these interactions are almost a one way street where you view, listen, or read but don’t actually have physical contact with the human beyond just voting for a politician, attending a celebrity gathering,  just viewing a video, listening to a podcast, or reading about someone in an article or book.

Our primary focus will be on adult relationships because parental relationships between parent and child have a different dynamic since most parents are in charge or are responsible for supervising their offspring or adopted children. If you want to learn more about parent child relationships then read my book MODERN PARENTING by Uldis Sprogis on Amazon.

Perhaps a good starting point to understand what a good relationship is, we should briefly cover what bad relationships are so that you can try to avoid them.

In a bad relationship the human lies much and can’t be trusted, is immoral, the human is not dependable, is incompetent, has bad addictions, or is not a good conversationalist.

In a bad marital relationship the spouse may be verbally and even physically abusive and argues most of the time about even rather trivial things. At the other extreme a spouse may be non communicative and basically ignores the partner most of the time. This too is a bad relationship.

Not so obvious is the fact that bad relationships should be terminated as soon as possible. If it is a bad spousal relationship then divorce is a very real option and if it is a bad friend then you should seriously consider ending the friendship since it will handicap you in the long duration.

Trust is the bond which keeps good relationships going and if you can’t trust someone then a good relationship is not possible. If a relationship without trust exists then it is a highly dysfunctional one with a lot of misery associated with it. Some spouses stay in a bad relationship because they believe it is best for the children or out of financial necessity but this is a fallacy because if you are in a dysfunctional spousal relationship then you are a terrible role model for the children who will grow up and also probably be dysfunctional in their marital relationship. So integrity or being honest and moral is vital to a trusting good relationship.

In a nutshell if you have integrity, are trustworthy, dependable, competent, sincere, friendly, a good conversationalist, and empathetic then you have the potential to be respected and maybe even admired by others. Yes, you can be admired for just being rich but if you don’t have the above good personality then you will not be respected by most humans.

Some humans complain that they don’t have interesting friends whom they can interact with. The truth is that if you want interesting friends then you YOURSELF must also be interesting so that you can share mutual satisfying interests. If you are looking for a friend who has a great personality, is friendly, is optimistic, and does interesting things and has the time and money to do those things then you too must have a great personality, be friendly, be optimistic, and have the time and money to pursue those interesting things.

Not commonly realized is the basic fact that the more interests which you have in common in a relationship, the chances are that you will have a better relationship since it won’t become that boring very soon. So basically if you are an interesting human with many interests then the chances of meeting someone with one or more similar interests is more probable.

Before you go out looking for good relationships make sure that you have one or more important things to offer someone. If your personality is not that great then make an effort to improve it before you try to enter relationships. Similarly, if you have almost no important interests to talk about then start finding some interests to make you more of a magnet in a relationship.

Sometimes you find out that a human is interested in something which you wish you knew more about. Take some time out to research the interest and learn the basics about it. Then get back to them and continue the conversation by showing that you did some research into the interest and have some unanswered questions. Most will appreciate that you really put in some effort trying to understand their area of interest and most will gladly share their experiences with the interest. This approach is especially valuable if you have a gut feeling that you like a human’s personality and would like to include them on your friend’s or networking list.

Ultimately you should put in much effort improving yourself first, before you start looking for someone that you may want to connect with. Become someone with an optimistic attitude and friendly personality for starters and then make yourself into an interesting human even though it probably won’t happen overnight.

To start a relationship you must interact with humans who potentially have similar interests and some of the best places to meet others is on the job, with friends of relatives, with friends of friends, at events which interest you and that you attend, at social gatherings like weddings, sporting events, religious services, community events, volunteering, political campaigns, and on the internet via social media, dating sites, and clubs or causes. Yes, you can also meet humans at bars, the coffee shop, movie theater, and in the supermarket but the chances that you will meet someone compatible are rather remote.

Knowing thyself is very important in life and if you don’t know or are unaware of your bad habits and good ones then you really will never consciously know how to improve yourself. In the book GOOD RELATIONSHIPS by Uldis Sprogis you will discover what good and bad habits are and then you can courageously proceed to decrease or totally eliminate some bad habits and replace them with more of your good habits and maybe even some good new ones.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4800 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

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WHAT ARE SOME USEFUL PARENTING QUOTES?

22 updated new quotes on parenting by Uldis Sprogis:

Every offspring needs and deserves good parents but all parents do not need nor deserve offspring.

Offspring are great imitators so give them something great to imitate.

Your offspring will eventually follow your example and will only follow your advice if they respect you so be an example worthy of respect.

If you raise offspring who value their INTEGRITY then you have succeeded as a parent.

Never do for offspring what they can do themselves.

Bad parenting creates assholes and immoral behavior.

Smart and wise parents prepare their offspring to live on their own.

Offspring rebel against parental behavior because they have incomplete understanding, sense injustice in parental behavior, are motivated by peer pressure, or have selfish motives.

Disciplining your offspring to assume personal moral, household, and social responsibilities is the purpose of proper discipline.

As soon as offspring are smart enough but not tall enough, provide them with a sturdy stool to stand on and assign them responsible tasks such as personal hygiene, cleaning chores, organizing chores, food shopping, and food preparation.

A shared strong morality with integrity and mutual responsible parenting usually results in marital harmony and moral responsible offspring.

Nothing succeeds in giving offspring a sense of security more than parents who respect one another and behave affectionately.

Always remember that a marriage is not just between a male and female, it also includes the offspring.

Most of skillful careful parenting is being able to nurture and protect your offspring but not overprotect them from the real world and make them dependent on parents too long.

Parenting is morally conditional behavior. If it weren’t then offspring would be lying, stealing, cheating, and fighting at will and parents would be powerless to stop them no matter how much unconditional love they exhibited.

History repeats itself because aggressive, selfish, emotional, violence prone human nature is inherited from generation to generation. Each time offspring challenge parental tradition with rebellious attitudes which makes for a tumultuous society always trying to remain civilized and eternally fighting immorality and human vice.

Family morality or a dysfunctional lifestyle is passed on to offspring which is why being as good a role model parent as possible is so important. You should seriously consider foregoing offspring if you will be a dysfunctional role model parent or don’t really want the responsibility of raising offspring.

Understand that if a woman is financially independent before you marry then she wants and needs your loyalty, loving, devotion, emotional support, and parenting skills more than your money because she can survive financially on her own.

Most marriages are transitions from independent living to responsible parenting which many fear because of a reduction in personal freedom and the added burden of supporting offspring financially and emotionally.

Theoretically the economic purpose of successful parenting and education should be to create independent economic units from dependent ones in the long duration. Realistically even adult economic units are increasingly becoming dependent on the government because the economic system can no longer guarantee lifetime employment for all who want to work but lack ever more complex work skills needed in the workplace.

The strength of a nation originates from the moral integrity and financial responsibility of the family unit.

Destroy a moral financially responsible independent family unit and you have destroyed a free nation.

Elusive but necessary is finding the right balance between the pursuit of future goals and fulfilling present responsibilities.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4700 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1305!!!

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4600 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1296!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4600 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1239!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4500 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

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EXPLAINING THE NEW DEFINITION FOR LOVE!!!

The purpose of this video is to present and try to explain a new definition for love which can be considered to be three dimensional or having 3 basic parts which exist together simultaneously or exist together all at once. The three parts exist together in any love experience or love behavior.

Briefly the three basic parts to any love experience is SENSING A VERY INTENSE PLEASURE during the experience, CARING about the experience, and DESIRING the experience. We are talking here about the LOVE experience.

Let’s first explain what we mean by “sensing a very intense pleasure”.

The full definition for pleasure is-

Pleasure: n. sensing a sensation which the brain subjectively judges to be good and is what most people desire to experience in various degrees of intensity

So we are saying that pleasure is a feeling and it is basically experiencing something which FEELS GOOD. When we say very intense pleasure then we are really saying it is something which feels VERY GOOD or EXTREMELY GOOD.

There is a danger here in using the word good because good is a value judgment and a drug high may be a very intense pleasure but it is not a very good pleasure. Drug highs can be very addictive and cause bad circumstances or situations in the long duration. A drug high is really a very bad feeling or pleasure in the long duration and many can cause severe unpleasant withdrawal symptoms such as withdrawal symptoms caused by heroin.

The full definition for intense is-

Intense: adj. impacting a unit area per unit time with a quantity of energy and/or matter

Intensity is used here to suggest the reality that intensity is similar to energy impacting or hitting the brain at a great rate thus exciting the brain. So we can in another way say that intense pleasure is excited pleasure. When we say very intense then we are really saying very excited. So very excited pleasure is very intense pleasure.

Love is a very intense feeling and a feeling by itself is much less intense. Two examples of feelings are affection for and liking something. Love is not an affection. Love is not liking. Both affection for and liking are merely feelings and not as intense as love. Many humans confuse feelings with love and make the mistake of saying that affection and liking are examples of a LITTLE love and this is just not true. That would be saying that affection and liking are examples of a little very intense pleasure. What does a little very intense pleasure really mean? It’s nonsense.

From the standpoint of feelings, when we talk about love we are not talking here about good feelings but about very good or extremely good feelings and only the extremely good feelings can be called love. Historically love has been called a strong feeling so we could inaccurately say the love is a very strong feeling. Strong is not intense.  Love is really a very intense feeling or pleasure.

We are really talking here about the degree of pleasure and love is a high or large degree of pleasure. If we say very intense pleasure or extremely good pleasure or extremely good feelings then we are talking about the same thing only my definition of very intense pleasure is more accurate than just saying extremely good feelings. Good is not intense and is a value judgement.

The first part or dimension of love is the emotional part which can be described as “sensing very intense pleasure”. When you are having a very intense emotional experience for a short or sometimes even long time then you can say that you are experiencing or sensing very intense pleasure or love. A loving experience can be very short in time or it can be experienced for longer periods of time than just a few seconds or minutes. That is why it is more accurate to say sensing very intense pleasure for a short and/or long duration.

Time is a very important concept in the definition and understanding of love since no normal human is capable of experiencing very intense pleasure ALL the time unless they are mentally ill or are continuously being fed mentally stimulating drugs. Very intense normal excited experiences come and go during the day in general living.

Love has a frequency of occurrence such as none a day, once a day, three times a day, etc. You can say that I experienced no love today, I experienced love three times today, and I experienced love 23 times this month.

Wow! I look and love that new sports car, Out of sight! I love how she looks in her new outfit, or that was a fantastic touchdown. I loved it! I loved the sex and orgasm! These are all examples of relatively short intense emotional love experiences.

An intense or relatively elevated emotional feeling can sometimes last for a few weeks or even a few months such as during an infatuation with the opposite sex. I loved to talk to her, loved to think about her, loved to interact with her, loved how she looked and much of my life during the infatuation time period revolved around her exclusively. Yes, even during an infatuation time period the love is not always of great intensity because we have to take time out to sleep, work, eat, go to the bathroom, and maybe even exercise a little. So everything that you do during the infatuation time period is not intense emotional love but has periods of emotional calm also when you are NOT sensing very intense pleasure.

The love experience does not vary in degree such as a small degree of love which is really just liking. Liking is not low intensity love but just low intensity pleasure. Medium intensity pleasure which is affection is also not very intense pleasure or love.

This is why love is so confusing a concept for most humans because there is really no such thing as a little love or low intensity love. When you say that you are getting only a little love you really are saying and meaning that the frequency of the love which you are getting is low. I only get love once a month is very low frequency love which is often confused as little love.

For example- You frequently didn’t love me today compared to yesterday. We only had sex once today and yesterday it was three times. You loved me more frequently yesterday. Thus loving experiences can happen zero times a day, one to ten or more times a day and all of them are separated from each other with periods of relative calm or relaxation or low intensity pleasure and maybe some unpleasant experiences thrown inbetween the loving experiences.

When you have an orgasm, or are informed that you have landed the job of your dreams then you sense very intense pleasure for a relatively short time. You can also sense very intense pleasure saying “right on to yourself” when you hear that a human that you hated on the job just got fired. Emotionally you love the new news of that firing event.

Let’s use a concrete example to explain the next two parts of love by using sexual intercourse. Yes, some women don’t enjoy sexual intercourse for many possible reasons but males generally get very intense pleasure from the sex experience which usually results in a climax or ejaculation.

We have established the fact that sexual intercourse is very intense pleasure for males and further most males CARE about the experience or want to nurture and protect it which is what caring is all about. We nurture the loving experience by trying to make it better which means trying different sex positions other than the missionary position where the male is on top and the female is on the bottom. We may nurture sex by arousing the female with loving words and behavior which the female enjoys. There are probably many more ways sex can be nurtured to make the overall experience more pleasurable or at least relatively constant from one sexual experience to the next.

Caring also means protecting the love experience so we may choose to marry the female to get exclusive sexual rights from her and ensure that she is protected from having sexual intercourse with others. Closing the door so that others do not observe the sexual act is a way of protecting the sexual experience from interruption. We also protect or care by not being too rough during sex and injuring the female in the process.

Since caring is often thought of as a behavior and not an emotion it is often falsely separated or omitted from the definition of love. We really care while we are having sex but it is not intuitively obvious to an impartial observer who may not have analyzed what caring or the nurturing and protective behaviors are during the sexual experience.

The last part of love is a DESIRE for the love experience. We desire to possess and/or interact with and/or experience the sexual intercourse in the short and/or long duration. There is an observation by some scientists that sex is on the young adult male mind on a daily basis and this leads to addictive pornography and masturbation for some males who don’t have regular sexual partners or females. There is definitely a desire for sex in the male mind and this is one of the main reasons why so many young males have a tendency to be promiscuous since they fear the financial responsibility of marriage and offspring rearing.

When we start sexual intercourse there is a desire to want to continue it to it’s conclusion. The desire exists while we are doing the love act or experience.

We have established the fact that there is very intense pleasure, caring for, and desire in sexual intercourse for males and the three exist in the male brain simultaneously or at the same time.

So a loving moment here has three parts- the very intense pleasure part, the caring part, and the desire part all working in the brain at the same time or simultaneously and it lasts for a short and/or long duration.

It could now be asked- is an affectional display for your spouse love or an act of love? The answer is no. Affection for your spouse is not a very intense pleasure but a medium intensity pleasure so it can’t be called love or an act of love even though affection is a bonding behavior and often brings two interacting humans close or closer together, especially in a marriage.

It is a fact of life that affectionate behavior and liking behavior towards our spouse exists in a marriage loving relationship. These are not loving behaviors contrary to the old notion of love where any affectionate or liking display was considered love or loving one’s spouse. There is frankly no very intense pleasure in affectionate and liking behaviors but rather medium and low intensity pleasure.

We can thus call “being in love” or a loving relationship- loving, affection, and liking but not simultaneously or not at the same time. We sometimes love, we sometimes are affectionate, and we sometimes like what we do in an ongoing loving relationship with our spouse.

Now you can ask what happens to a loving relationship when the very intense pleasure of love begins to subside such as in old age when sex stops. The relationship can continue due to a good habit which means that there is still some affection and liking going on which continues to bond two humans together. A desire to commit to and continue the commitment in a relationship is also what keeps the marriage together and you can consider it a form of loyalty.

It seems obvious that love is possible between two humans but some don’t believe that love is possible with an object. What does- I love my sports car really mean? There is the obvious love reaction when first buying the car which is a very intense pleasure that we experience. Then there is the very intense pleasure that we get driving it such as accelerating past another car, driving fast, maybe changing lanes to pass other cars, and negotiating fast turns or sharp curves in the road.

We care for our car because we protect it by driving safely to avoid accidents and we desire to drive it to get to our destination in the fastest time possible. Males especially love their car at first, care for it by maintaining it and driving safely, and finally desire to drive it when they go somewhere. Some males also take pride in their car since they consider it a female magnet when they are single.

Many males desire to possess a car, interact with it, and experience driving it for short and/or long durations. Yes, many males don’t love driving and obeying all the traffic rules but some go to race tracks and obstacle courses where they love to drive fast and negotiate dangerous obstacles.

Not all women love shopping but the ones that do get very intense pleasure from shopping, especially when they find something beautiful or eye catching. They care for shopping by nurturing it with conversations about it with other women and by trying to get the best deal. They also desire to shop when they have enough money in the bank and some are compulsive shoppers and desire to shop even when they can’t afford it.

Very few love to drive and shop ALL the time but there are usually parts of driving and shopping which many love. Both driving and shopping are often necessities and most of us drive and shop to survive in the modern world.

Conclusion:

Almost all of us love objects and/or subjects in our lives and we experience very intense pleasure from them for a short and/or long duration. It is a fact of life that our love for things or subsets often fades with the passage of time but most of us continue to love something at some point for duration during an entire lifespan.

Humans are very different in many ways and every individual loves different things in his or her personal way. The real key to life is learning to love the right things or learning to love the right objects and/or subjects and/or subsets which fit your abilities, personality, and mindset.

Finally the full new definition for love is-

Love: v. to sense a very intense pleasure for a subset(s) one cares about and the behaviors which exist with it and frequently desiring to (possess and/or interact with) and/or experience samer subset(s) for a short and/or long duration

UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1032!!!

fotorcreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4100 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 962!!!

fotorcreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4000 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 840!!!

fotorcreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3800 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 832!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 817!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 793!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 663!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 603!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 451!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 446!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 423!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 390!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 386!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 234!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 231!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 181!!!

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THE TRUTH ABOUT AFFECTION+

Affection-is-responsible-for-nine-tenths-of-whatever-solid-and-durable-happiness-there-is-in-out-lives

Affection: n. sensing medium intensity pleasure for a subset(s) one cares about and the behavior(s) which exists with it

When you show affection it is usually sensing a medium intensity pleasure for

A subset(s) that you care about and all the behaviors associated with showing that affection including physical gestures and words used.

Any truly loving relationship in the traditional sense of the word means that there are many affectionate and liking behaviors and emotions which are also being done. Love which realistically is a very intense emotion is not always present all the time in an ongoing “loving” relationship which has some emotional highs but mostly moderate emotions or feelings are felt on a day to day ongoing basis.

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THE TRUTH ABOUT CONCERN+

Concern_worldwide_logo

Concern: v. to be attracted to a subset(s) caused by sensed (caring and/or interesteven) and/or (importance and/or empathy) and/or (suffering of and/or affectation) for samer subset(s)

You may show concern because you care about something, are interested in something, sense something is important, sense empathy for something, sensed suffering of, or have an affectation for something and are basically faking concern.

 

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THE TRUTH ABOUT FRIEND*

SP_HappyGoLucky_WordStrips_friends

Friend: n. a human usually much known by another human(s) and interacting with samer another human(s) with relatively much (regarden and/or trusten) and/or caring

A friend is usually someone we trust, care, and regard more than acquaintances or strangers. Close friends are usually the ones whom we interact with more frequently and spend more time with and respect more than just casual friends.

Regarden and trusten are the noun forms for the verbs regard and trust.

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THE TRUTH ABOUT LIKE+

Facebook-like

Like: v. to sense low intensity pleasure for a subset(s) and the behaviors which exist with the sensing of samer subset(s)

The above definition is a comprehensively complete but the subtle differences between liking and loving are not intuitively obvious and need further explanation.

We behave somewhat differently with something that we like compared to something which we might love. We generally don’t care as much for something that we like and our desire to interact with it is not as urgent or as frequent. We also generally get less upset when deprived of something which we like rather than something which we love.

Liking something can sometimes grow into a loving relationship once mastery of a likable activity is achieved or once the true desirable identity of a total personality is revealed.

Loving can also sometimes decrease to just liking with too much exposure or too much interaction which can result in boredom and some repulsive feelings. Overdosing on loving behavior is a definite possibility and it is one reason why most infatuations decrease in intensity with the passage of time.

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THE TRUTH ABOUT LOVE*

Love-Fire

There is no accurate definition of love until now and it will solve all the paradoxes associated with a complete understanding of love.  Love is always confused with affectionate, liking, fond, and tender feelings and this paradox is finally solved with an accurate definition.

Fond and tender feelings are examples of low intensity pleasure or a little pleasure which is not love.  Love must be very intense pleasure and does not happen in a relationship as frequently as fond or tender feelings.  Fond and tender feelings are really examples of affectionate and liking behavior which is not love nor loving behavior.  Fond and tender feelings are frequently examples of affectionate and liking behavior which is very important in long lasting relationships especially marriages but those medium and low intensity feelings are not loving emotions and definitely not loving behaviors.

There is a fundamental difference between the concepts “I love that woman” and “I like that woman” or “I love my motorcycle” and “I like my motorcycle”.

 

Love: v. to sense a very intense pleasure for a subset(s) one cares about and the behaviors which exist with it and frequently desiring to (possess and/or interact with) and/or experience samer subset(s) for a short and/or long duration

Subset: n. a thing

Without a definition of to love, love is just an intuitive philosophical concept open to a million and one interpretations. With a definition you can either argue that it is incomplete, partially wrong, or that it is absolutely right and exact.

If you love something then you care about it, you sense very intense pleasure and behave a certain way, and you frequently desire to possess, interact, or experience that something for a short and/or long time.

When you are getting very intense pleasure from a human it is called love and when your pleasure is not that intense then you are experiencing affection and liking and not love.

Some of you will argue that loving also means that there are times when you feel affectionate or have fond and tender feelings towards the love object. Well, you are talking about a loving relationship which needs a new word or new definition called lovrelating.

 

Lovrelate: v. to sense much lovin and affection and liking for a subset(s) but not simultaneously

 

Being in love means that you are lovrelating  or experiencing moments of lovin, affection, and liking but never simultaneously or that all those feelings are not felt at the same time. What the world really needs more of is more lovrelating and not lovin!

Yes, there are more definitions needed for all you perfectionists out there and here they are.

Affection: n. sensing medium intensity pleasure for a subset(s) one cares about and the behavior(s) which exists with it

Like: v. to sense low intensity pleasure for a subset(s)

Lovrelate: v. to sense much lovin and affection and liking for a subset(s) but not simultaneously

 Lovin: n. sensing a very intense pleasure from a subset(s) one cares about and the behavior(s) which exist with it and frequently desiring to (possess and/or interact with) and/or experience samer subset(s)

Lovrelationship: n. sensing much lovin and affection and liking for a subset(s) but not simultaneously

Thing: n. one subset and/or set of matter and/or energy which existed in the past and/ or will exist at some point in the future and/or will continue to exist in the future.  A thing is usually classified as a subject and/or verb. Human beings are things which are lifeforms.  An event(s) is a thing.  A thing is a set and/or a subset.

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THE TRUTH ABOUT REPUTATION

quote-it-takes-20-years-to-build-a-reputation-and-five-minutes-to-ruin-it-if-you-think-about-that-warren-buffett-26787

Reputation: n. the degree of respect and/or disrespect possessed which is an appraisal of the degree of respect and/or disrespect made by a subset(s) of humans

Not many of us have an excellent reputation because frankly few know that you need to be honest, sincere, dependable, trustworthy, caring, and competent to have an excellent reputation. If you sometimes lie, are not dependable, and are not competent in your job or as a parent then you may get by but you will definitely not have an excellent reputation.

If you are in a leadership position then reputation is very important. If you live a rather isolated life and don’t interact with humans that frequently then your reputation may not seem that important and you will get by as long as you show up for work and don’t screw up on the job.

Reputation may not seem important to you until you develop a bad reputation and then you realize how hard it is to get it back since almost no one trusts you anymore and generally does not want to have anything to do with you.

If your reputation is very bad then your only recourse is to move to another location in the country. You can begin with a fresh new start trying to develop a good reputation which will unfortunately take some time because a good reputation is earned over a relatively long time of demonstrating trustworthiness. A good reputation is not something which you automatically get by just asking for it.

Getting a good reputation back after losing it is almost impossible so the best advice is don’t lose it in the first place and behave appropriately.

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THE TRUTH ABOUT NICE

ingela-arrhenius-be-nice-to-the-world-poster-by-omm-design

Niceness: n. good and/or right behavior(s) towards a human(s) and/or an animal and this behavior(s) is frequently done politely and/or respectfully and/or caringly and/or kindly and/or friendly and/or courteously and/or modestly and/or with just praise

We frequently like nice humans. Those are the ones that are polite, respectful, caring, kind, friendly, courteous, give appropriate compliments, and generally make us feel good in their presence.

Being nice is a social skill and if you need many friends or acquaintances in your life then you should learn how to be nice to humans whom you want to impress in a good way.

You don’t have to be nice all the time, especially if you are in a leadership position which may require firing and criticizing where appropriate, but as the old saying goes-you can attract more humans with honey rather than vinegar, so being nice is the honey which you should be using most of the time.

One very overlooked area which should be treated nicely is wilderness plants and animals. Be nice to them and don’t steal their real estate!

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THE TRUTH ABOUT KINDNESS

pledge card front

Kindness: n. relatively small medium intensity caring which isn’t requested

Humans rarely say be kind to me because kindness is small caring things done which are not requested. If you nurture and/or protect a human in a small way then you are being kind. It frequently involves giving something which you have- your time, expertise, praise, advice, small gifts, and a little money.

I have listed only a few of the possibilities of unrequested kindnesses:

Saying I like you

Complimenting someone on doing or saying the right thing

Asking “How are you?” and listening intently and caring about the response

Introducing yourself to someone whom you always see around

Offering free professional advice or offer advice if you see someone has a problem which needs a solution

Holding the door or elevator for someone

Showing courtesy on the road

Making a family cook a meal for them

Giving up your seat on a train or bus to someone who seems to need it, especially the handicapped

Hugging a friend

Mentoring someone’s offspring

Visiting a senior center and talk to or entertain some of them

Volunteering somewhere without being asked

Donate food to a food bank or donate old clothes to a shelter

Paying for a meal for a homeless human

Planting a tree (being kind to nature)

Recycling (being kind to nature)

Returning wildlife to the wild ( being kind to nature)

I am not a believer in random acts of kindness, especially to total strangers. Giving small amounts of money to humans who don’t ask for it is stupidity not kindness and giving small amounts of money to strangers who ask for it is also stupidity and not kindness!!!!!!

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THE TRUTH ABOUT ENCOURAGEMENT

3475155-encouragement-road-sign-with-dramatic-clouds-and-sky

Encouragement: n. caring for and/or motivating an animal(s) so that a goal(s) can be achieved

Offspring need more encouragement than adults and sometimes caring or nurturing and protecting them gives them the courage to explore their environment and is the encouragement they need to live a challenging relatively fear free existence. Verbal rewards in the form of praise are what offspring crave and motivates them to behave and do things which the parents approve of.

 

Food treats and toys should not be used as motivating devices to get offspring to behave because they will associate good behavior with food and toy rewards which are external motivators and will not develop necessary internal self-motivation to behave well.

 

The best kind of encouragement for offspring is parental involvement or sharing of educational experiences which teach offspring about the necessary knowledge and skills needed in this world. Encouraging offspring well is being a good role model and doing the things which you expect your offspring to also do.

 

Adults also need encouragement with praise, assurance, emotional empathy, good advice, instruction, and sometimes money rewards to get them to achieve worthwhile goals.

 

Sometimes persuasion is necessary to encourage a human to do something which they may at first be reluctant to do on their own.

 

 If you are honest, sincere, dependable, trustworthy, caring, and competent then your encouragement will be more respected and accepted more frequently by other humans.

 

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THE TRUTH ABOUT SYMPATHY

with-deepest-sympathy-kristin-elmquist

Sympathy: n. empathy with a lifeform(s)’s misfortune

If it is a death in the family or some permanent irreversible misfortune then the best that you can do is sympathize by sharing a similar misfortune in your life or writing a sympathy card giving emotional support.

In a family situation saying that you feel someone’s pain for misfortune and merely emotionally sympathizing with them is frequently not enough sympathy. You should also follow up with some useful advice and/or caring which will decrease the odds that the misfortune will happen again.

If your offspring gets an F grade then you should give some useful advice on how to avoid it happening again such as with better study or work habits and you may even have to supervise your offspring and check their knowledge of the subject matter before the next test.

Adults should be largely responsible for their own misfortunes in life but even here if you have some useful advice on how to avoid future misfortune then you should spend some of your valuable time giving your best advice on the matter so it doesn’t happen again.

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WHAT IS CARING?

caregiving-11

“You don’t care about me” is frequently a female complaint and men are sometimes clueless as to what caring means and frequently associate more caring with spending more money on the woman.

Caring is NURTURING and PROTECTING something that you like or love and it can be a human(s), an activity(s), and even an object(s).

Nurturing means that you encourage growth, support, help, or pay attention to what you care about.

Nurturing plant growth is easy because you make sure that the plant has enough sunshine, water, fertilizer, good soil, and climate.

With humans nurturing is more complex. You give praise and/or encouragement and/or teach a skill and/or teach or support good behavior and/or give financial help and/or spend interactive time together and/or mutually observe or participate in an activity that you care about.

Supervision, warning of danger, providing shelter or a safe car, and survival skill teaching are examples of protective behavior. Survival skill teaching can be teaching how to avoid physical injury but it can also be teaching a human not to say or do things which will ruin good relationships with humans.

Do you care for me? is asking whether you are being nurtured or protected in some way.

1.      HOW CAN PRAISE AND ENCOURAGEMENT BE USED TO NURTURE HUMAN BEHAVIOR?

Praise is frequently given for a good performance where some skill is required such as getting a good grade or scoring in a sport.

One should avoid giving wrong praise which exists when praise is not mostly reserved only for good performances but is given for mediocre performances.  One should guard against wrong praise so there is no motivational confusion.  If praise is given for both good and bad performances then the subject will soon not discriminate between a good or a bad performance.  The result will be that praise will probably be ignored as irrelevant to the task at hand.  If praise is ignored it ceases to be nurturing behavior toward the one being nurtured and its motivational value does not exist.

True praise helps to improve people’s behavior and performance but wrong praise is not effective.  Intense honest praise given where it has been justly earned can be considered to be an act of intense caring or love.

Encouragement is also usually done to motivate a human(s) to do an activity and it can be intense also and an example of love.

Encouragement can be done physically with a kiss and/or hug and/or smile and/or a pat on the back.  Promising rewards and occasionally threatening with a punishment if the goals are not met should motivate even reluctant participants.

The rewards and punishments should be designed to fit the behavior and you should always try to fulfill the promises of a reward or punishment.  Much unfulfilled promises of a reward or punishment will cause the subject to ignore future promises and this form of encouragement will cease to be a motivational nurturing behavior.

Also understand that if the rewards are not big enough or if the threatened punishments are too small the subject will also soon ignore the promises and the promises will cease to be a nurturing behavior.

Money is a primary motivational tool for adults and there is no reason why money should not be used as a reward for getting good grades or learning very useful skills that will come in handy in adult life.  Money can even be used to reward good behavior for a short duration because humans with good social etiquette and social skills in general do better in life both financially and in relationships so there is a money correspondence to good social behavior.

Intensely giving relevant rewards and punishments can be considered to be an act of caring or an act of moral love.

1.      HOW CAN SKILL TEACHING BE USED TO NURTURE HUMAN BEHAVIOR?

Skill teaching means both vocational skills and recreational skills.  Nurturing vocational skills is more important than nurturing recreational skills but both job and play skills which improve coordination or thinking ability are important if one is to live a balanced life where work may be of prime importance but play offers needed relaxation or a change of behavior.

Morality, math, English, budgeting, technical and science skills should be the priority of the skills that are more important to teach and should be nurtured to improve humanity and the environment.

We are all quickly heading into a world where robots will become human slaves and will free us from doing low level skilled work.  This means that most citizens of the future will have to be technically knowledgeable or there will simply not be any low paying jobs left to do and most of the human population will be unemployed and destitute and on government welfare.

My book CHANGES IN WELFARE LAWS shows the changes that will have to be made if humanity is to survive under healthy conditions for both humans and wild nature.

2.      HOW IS FINANCIAL SUPPORT USED TO NURTURE HUMAN BEHAVIOR?

Financial support provides a family with basic needs such as food and shelter and clothing and education and transportation.  The money left over goes to entertainment and miscellaneous expenses.

Where you spend or invest your money is probably a good indicator of what you care most about.  How you use and invest your money is an indication of how wisely or badly you are living.

Although spending money on yourself or on your family might not be an ecstatic experience what most people would call love it is caring that is vital to social existence.  Good caring is also using your money wisely and efficiently!!!!!!

Financial support also goes to help businesses and government activities.  Laws that govern businesses, especially monopoly businesses and government activities, should be morally sound and run by morally sound people.  The people in the government and businesses should have an effective moral code which controls their personal and public behavior.

3.      HOW IS GOOD PERSONAL AND SOCIAL BEHAVIORAL TEACHING USED TO NURTURE HUMAN BEHAVIOR?

Teaching good behavior means teaching not only socially acceptable skills but also independent skills which keep a human gainfully occupied when there is little or no social interaction at all.

Complete nurturing behavior means that a human is taught how to use his or her time wisely in the absence of social interaction and it also means teaching the human how to interact successfully with a variety of other humans.  Good nurturing behavior means that the human is taught to function independently as well as dependently.

Good social manners should not only be taught at home but also in school.  I have written an evergreen book called GOOD MODERN BEHAVIORS where good social behavior is described in detail.

Enthusiastic behavioral teaching can be considered to be a caring act or an act of moral love where the behavior taught is considered good or meets social norms for the society that you are living in.  Good social behavior is relative to some extent because it can be dramatically different in one culture or another.  Good behavior in one culture may be considered bad in another.

One culture may consider burping a sign that a meal was very good but another culture may consider burping to be rude.  One culture may approve of monogamy and polygamy whereas another culture might only permit monogamy.

  1. 4.      HOW IS USING TIME TOGETHER USED TO NURTURE HUMAN BEHAVIOR?

Spending time together and interacting with offspring is a very important way of showing that you care for your offspring.  Using “quality time” with offspring is frequently used as an excuse when parents can’t or don’t want to use too much time with their offspring.

Young offspring imitate their parents and they are used as role models later in life when they have offspring of their own so it is important for parents to set as good an example as possible.

Teaching mostly with words and not using much time together will create similar behavior in the offspring when they are grown and parenting themselves.

If you have mostly verbal contact with your children my evergreen book  MODERN PARENTING will help you to communicate effectively whether or not you have much bodily contact with your offspring. Fear not because quality time is all that you need with your offspring and once the basics have been taught your offspring can function very independently of parents.

If you can’t spend enough time with your offspring find relatives and good children and adults who can be imitated by your offspring and who can spend time with your offspring instead.

Wealthy parents can hire quality babysitters and nannies to take care of their offspring but this is not always possible on limited financial budgets with which most offspring are nurtured.

Remember that if you ignore your offspring too much then they may begin to feel that you don’t really care or love them that much.  Time used with your offspring is time during which you can demonstrate your loving behaviors towards them and the important subsets in your life.

5.      WHY IS GOOD TEACHING SO VITAL A TOOL IN NURTURING HUMAN BEHAVIOR?

Knowing how to teach well with the right enthusiasm and presenting relevant information for the modern world will increase the probability that a student will remain interested in the information and will conscientiously try to learn what is presented and will probably learn the information quickly.

Many teachers don’t care much about their students nor the information which has to be learned.  Most students are bored by the liberal arts information which is frequently presented mediocrely and are bored by the absence of right enthusiasm and skill on the part of the teacher.  Student discipline problems add to a very unhealthy learning environment in most classrooms today.

It is not too late to join the internet revolution and teach most information online where the students can progress at their own rate of learning and not be slowed by learners and interruptions in the class due to a lack of control over the ones with a discipline problem.

A school system which believes in social promotion based on age not skill and merit is not a system that should be continued into the twenty first century!

Not only should robots replace the jobs that are done by over 90% of the population today but the teachers should be replaced by excellent online interactive audio visual educational software partially in and beyond the elementary school level. Only moral education has to be taught socially to elementary school students with real life examples and not verbose stories without factual content.

The new status symbol for future generations should be what achievement level are you learning at, with what grades, and not what school grade are you in?

Older offspring and the unemployed who have reached a high school level of achievement can become one on one teachers over the internet for younger students still learning at lower levels of achievement.

Excellent educational computer software will need minimally skilled teachers online since the real and very skillful teacher will be primarily a stimulating educational software program designed for optimal learning.

The best teachers in the world can be the ones helping to write the software on any topic needed.  The online software should teach at five or more paces or speeds designed for very slow or slow or average or above average and gifted students. Classroom teachers will have to retrain and teach over the internet too if they want to continue in a dying profession.

I have written a book EDUCATION REFORM which goes into the necessary changes that should be made in our educational system to make it relevant for the 21st  century.

Discipline is also an efficient way to nurture the growth of valuable work skills and social behaviors.  Knowing how to relevantly reward and punish an offspring is unfortunately a skill which is rapidly declining in a permissive society and many parents and teachers don’t like to discipline offspring because they are not very good at it.  Find a parent or teacher who is good at disciplining and you will probably also find a parent or teacher who loves to discipline when the need arises.

Discipline can also be achieved to some extent by verbal threats and condemnations of behavior which may be hated by the offspring.  It is very important to indicate to the offspring that the bad behavior or bad skill learning is what is hated but that the offspring is still loved. The offspring should be communicated the reason for the discipline because the offspring takes scolding personally and it seems that the parent or teacher actually is demonstrating hatred of the offspring.  “I hate what you did!” not “I hate you!” should be clear in the offspring’s mind.

6.      WHAT ARE SOME EXAMPLES OF PROTECTIVE BEHAVIOR?

Supervision and survival skill teaching are examples of protective behavior.

Small offspring need supervision to guarantee that they will not engage in unsafe behavior or grossly irrelevant behavior.  Making sure that small offspring will not play with matches or get into serious physical fights is an example of right parental supervision.

Watching your offspring swim and commenting if he or she does anything dangerous is an example of good supervision.  Commenting on what is and isn’t safe behavior is an example of good supervision.

Making sure that your offspring is not interacting with offspring or adults that have too many bad characteristics or behaviors is an example of right supervision.

Censoring pornographic websites and limiting inefficient time playing games and chatting over the internet is an example of good parental supervision.

When the supervision has intense moments this can be called moral love even though most supervision is performed without emotional climaxes.

Survival skills fall into two subsets which are social and bodily.

An example of survival skill teaching is to teach you offspring not to use obscenities or call people by slang or stereotypic communications.  Both are bad social skills which will cause anger and sometimes even aggressive or violent behavior from the person being offended.  Learning how to avoid making new enemies or provoking old ones is a valuable social survival skill.

Teaching offspring to sense both directions before crossing the street or to eat varied meals for good health are examples of important bodily survival skills.

Survival skill teaching is a form of love when done with great intensity but once again most of the teaching need not be intense. Increasing the intensity of your voice to stress the most important points is all that is sometimes needed to get the important message across.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially LOVEALL.

Enjoy!!!!!!

WHAT TO TRY TO BE AND NOT TRY TO BE!!!

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“There is an incomplete philosophical struggle and it is between two rather distinct extreme mindsets. One is frequently but not always bad – it is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, lust, resentment, inferiority, foundationless pride, superiority, and inflated ego or extreme selfishness. “The other is frequently but not always good – it is faithfulness, joy, peace, caring, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, controlled generosity, compromise, and compassion. The same struggle is sometimes going on inside you – and inside every other caring human, too.”

 

Try not to be envious, resentful, or jealous but try to be empathetic and benevolent instead

Instead of being unhappy and resentful of another’s possessions and characteristics and luck and circumstances, try to share in the feeling of accomplishment which another human is experiencing and feel that their good achievements, abilities, and circumstances are to be praised and not put down or criticized.

Try not to be cruel and mean but try to be kind or caring and sympathetic instead

Instead of willfully causing suffering and mental displeasure in a human and getting pleasure doing so try to be caring and sympathetic and share in the bad feelings and emotions caused by mistakes or bad circumstances which exist in a human’s life. You can be a strict and demanding disciplinarian or boss but try not to do it in a cruel and mean way.

Try not to be too greedy, selfish, with unfounded pride and too much superiority and arrogance but try to be with some generosity, caring behavior, and an adequate humility.

Try not to wallow in regret, pessimism, self-pity, sorrow, depression, hopelessness, guilt, and inferiority but try to be optimistically hopeful, happy, and develop as much selfconfidence and selfmotivation as possible by gradually changing more and more of your bad habits into good ones.

Above all try to be honest, sincere, truthful, and reliable and the bonds of your relationships with others will grow stronger and not weaker and you will be admired and respected by most close humans in your life.

Finally teach your offspring if you decide to have any this moral code- except in emergency situations-don’t destroy biodiversity, don’t lie, don’t be inefficient, don’t steal, don’t commit adultery if married, and don’t murder!!!!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE.

Enjoy!!!!!!

4 MAJOR THINGS WHICH MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP BETTER WITH 30 DETAILS!!!

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YOU KNOW MANY INTIMATE DETAILS ABOUT YOUR PARTNER

You can name one or more of your partner’s FAVORITE books, songs, childhood pets, food, TV programs, celebrities, athletes, politicians, relatives, childhood friends, etc.

You know your partner’s best friend and know the friend’s best and worst qualities or characteristics.

You know your partner’s goals and/or aspirations in life,

the most embarrassing moment in childhood,

the proudest moment in childhood and adulthood,

and the characteristics and/or personality traits gotten from parents.

If you have offspring then you know what personality traits your partner has passed on to the offspring,

you know your partner’s flaws in detail and you don’t use stereotypic descriptions.

YOU NURTURE YOUR PARTNER’S GOOD GOALS AND INTERESTS

You support your partner’s good ideas and dreams,

frequently when you disagree you acknowledge the sensible points,

you offer praise or are enthusiastic when something good happens to your partner,

you mutually remember and relive major moments of happiness such as great vacations or important happy family events,

you remember new and mutually challenging moments in life,

when you argue you care about your partner’s feelings and opinions and don’t resort to name calling and profanities.

YOU MUTUALLY CARE ABOUT ONE ANOTHER

Your partner basically cares about you or tries to nurture or support you and tries to protect you from bad influences and bad humans.

You frequently express appreciation and admiration for one another,

you feel that you are teammates working towards common goals,

you are physically affectionate with each other and especially in the morning before departing to work,

your partner reacts kindly to your traumatic or fearful moments,

you don’t refuse to talk about important topics that your partner cares about, you care about your partner’s relationships with family, friends, acquaintances, boss, coworkers and respect them,

you have mutual fun together,

you value many of your partner’s suggestions and are willing to try them out, you enjoy spending time together,

when you are stressed or upset you can go to your partner for emotional support,  

you rarely condemn, show contempt, hatred,  cuss, or use a stereotypic name such as crazy or stupid,

you know that if you have something important to say then your partner will listen to you attentively,

and you have your own personal love gestures, signs, or affectionate words.

YOU HAVE A TRUSTWORTHY RELATIONSHIP

You are confident that your partner won’t cheat on you or jeopardize your financial security.

Your partner is honest, sincere, and reliable.

If your partner lies then hopefully it is because there is fear that feelings will be hurt and it is mostly white lies about relatively unimportant things since your partner probably hasn’t learned to be diplomatically honest when it comes to comments about a substandard gift, new clothing, or the quality of a homemade meal.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE.

To read a list and access any of my approximately 400 evergreen truth blogs follow me at twitter.com/uldissprogis and I am sure that you will find more than a handful of evergreen truth blogs which will interest you.

Enjoy!!!!!!

5 WAYS TO INCREASE THE PROBABILITY THAT YOU WILL BE HAPPIER IN THE FUTURE

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Many humans are not happy with their jobs, with relationships, with friends, with family, and many with themselves. Solution: reeducate yourself and get a better job, research relationships, friends, family, and personal development and try to apply the new knowledge to your personal life which will hopefully give you greater and more future happiness in your life. What you need is better job skills, money management skills, and social skills to be considered successful in this world.

Of course you can say, forget it, this requires too much DIFFICULT EFFORT on my part so I will continue living my life without any major changes being made since I am not interested in improving my personality or my job.

For those of you interested in change and improvement here are some tips on how to improve your health, personality, and social skills which should help in making your interactions with other humans more successful and happier.

SENSE AND EXPRESS GRATITUDE FILLED WITH OPTIMISM

Frequently remind yourself and be thankful that you are alive, that you are having happy moments in your life, and that you are able to live life another day. Try to face each day charged with an optimistic outlook. Then when you interact with humans express gratitude for the little favors and kindnesses which they offer you and a mere “Thank you” is acceptable. You can follow this up by reciprocating or helping, doing a favor, or being kind to the human who has helped you in some way.

DON’T HATE ANYONE FOR TOO LONG AND FORGIVE MOST OF THE TIME

Humans will do terrible things to you which you will hate but if they are family or close friends then learn to forgive and forget if those terrible things are rather rare. Coworkers may also do hateful things and they too can be forgiven if they do it once or twice but don’t be a sucker and let them continue their bad behavior if it threatens to destroy good working relationships with others on the job. Take action and complain to your boss if the human becomes truly intolerable and starts to threaten the quality of your work output.

SET SHORT DURATION AND LONG DURATION GOALS AND SPEND MOST DAYS TRYING TO ACHIEVE THEM

Committing yourself to goals will make it seem like you are truly making progress in your life and you can happily celebrate a little each time you reach a short or long duration goal. Achieving the goals should make you happy for a little while and you should have many more happy future moments if the goal achievement brings more happiness in your life after it has been achieved.

CARE MORE ABOUT CLOSE IMPORTANT SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS THAN WITH CASUAL ONES

Caring means nurturing or supporting and protecting a relationship with a human. It should be obvious that you should spend more time caring about your family and close friendships than caring about your casual friends and acquaintances. Don’t obsess about what casual friends and acquaintances think of you because they are not that important in your life to deserve the attention. You may sometimes get rude and nasty remarks from humans which are not close to you but you should not let this bother you unless it is a truthful remark about one of your bad characteristics or behaviors.

TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY

You need a healthy body as a prerequisite to a healthy happy mind so get some moderate exercise (a twenty minute fast walk about 3 times a week is usually enough), get enough sleep, spend some time meditating and/or thinking, and eat healthy with as much certified organic food as you can afford or make time for.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE.

To read a list and access any of my approximately 400 evergreen truth blogs follow me at twitter.com/uldissprogis and I am sure that you will find more than a handful of evergreen truth blogs which will interest you.

Enjoy!!!!!!

ARE YOU DATING A RESPONSIBLE CARING REAL MAN??

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IS HE RESPONSIBLE? THIS IS HOW YOU CAN KNOW!

He has a good job or is studying hard and getting educated for a good paying useful job.

He makes promises and fulfills most of them and doesn’t make untrue excuses when he doesn’t fulfill a promise.

He doesn’t lie to you or play deceptive games with you but is honest and sincere but not in a brutal, rude, or unkind way.

If there is a difference of opinion then he is ready to discuss or talk about it without angry confrontation, changing the topic, or silent withdrawal.

He doesn’t believe that luck determines your destiny in life but that personal optimistic, effort, and achievement are much more important factors in leading a successful satisfying life.

He is not afraid to talk about marital life and share his opinions on offspring rearing, especially the realistic financial responsibility which this implies.

 

IS HE CARING? THIS IS HOW YOU CAN KNOW!

He nurtures and protects you and himself which is what caring means.

He nurtures or supports the important things which you are doing in your life.

He praises you for the good things which you are doing and believe in and tries to protect you from the bad influences in your life.

He knows that bad humans and bad actions can become bad habits which will be very difficult to exclude from your behavior.

He cares about your personality and intelligence more than your looks and does not just say things to make you happy if they are not true.

He cares about the important goals in your life and supports them with genuine praise.

He cares about his own important goals in life and is just not obsessed with you alone.

He is observant about your emotional state and can empathize with your unhappiness and sometimes tries to make you feel better with optimistic comments.

 

CONCLUSION:

If you are dating a responsible caring man then he is an excellent candidate for a future potential mate.

Note that not every characteristic or behavior on the list is necessary for the ideal mate for you but you should try to keep your standards as high as possible unless you have a bad personality, no income, and are not very attractive.

Having all three bad characteristics may turn you into a recluse or a desperate woman wanting to attach yourself to the first male, no matter how bad, who shows some interest in you.

 

If you liked this evergreen blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE.

To read a list and access any of my approximately 400 evergreen blogs follow me at twitter.com/uldissprogis and I am sure that you will find more than a handful of evergreen blogs which will interest you.

Enjoy!!!!!!

5 IMPORTANT CHARACTERISTICS OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH DETAILS

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YOU HAVE A SHARED MORALITY:

You both trust one another or are honest, sincere, dependable, and trustworthy, and feel secure that neither one of you will cheat on the other financially or sexually. This basically means that you have a strong common morality which you believe in which is don’t lie, don’t steal, and don’t commit adultery if married.

YOU MUTUALLY CARE OR NURTURE AND PROTECT ONE ANOTHER:

Your thoughts and feelings are mutually shared and not hidden from one another thus promoting trust.

You optimistically encourage and praise or nurture one another when you succeed at doing something important or when things are going very good. When things are not going very good you try to maintain an optimism that things will get better with appropriate changes or solutions to bad problems.

You try to protect one another from bad habits, bad influences, and bad humans. You encourage the replacement or reduction of bad habits with good ones, try and prevent a minor problem from becoming a bad irritating habit, and steer relationships with others to good role model friends and not bad ones. Where offspring are involved you try to make sure that your offspring are associating with good role model offspring and not bad ones.

You try to work as a team giving each other help when it seems necessary for better functioning.

You display affection almost on a daily basis with personal gestures and pet names for each other and appropriate kissing.

You know your partner’s goals and hopes for the future and you enjoy supporting  or nurturing the important ones.

Leading by example is important to raising a successful family. Being a good parent role model teaches respect, work ethic, and social appropriateness and is not saying bad things about your partner, using physical force to get what you want, or neglecting the needs of your dependents. This teaches offspring that abusive relationships are not acceptable.

YOU HAVE GOOD COMMUNICATION:

You rarely express contempt for your partner by cussing at them, calling them crazy or stupid, and stereotyping their behavior in other ways such as saying that you ALWAYS do that when it is not true in all cases.

Trying to answer questions in as short and understandable way as possible is important but this is only possible after having been a GOOD LISTENER and having understood what is being communicated. Being a good listener not only means getting the point or points but also correctly getting the emotional tone of what is being said. Sometimes all that a partner is looking for is emotional support and not necessarily any physical help in resolving a problem.

Good communication does not include yelling, blaming, threats, demands, name calling, or threatening suicide if your partner leaves.

You discuss rather than argue when you disagree on something and try to see the other’s point of view as usually being reasonable if not very acceptable to you personally.

You think your partner has good ideas quite frequently and they are ideas which you are willing to try to see if they work better or are solutions to problems.

You have talked enough to have intimate knowledge of your partner’s past and present life. For example, you know his or her favorite and not so favorite things in life such as a favorite book, song, food, relative, proudest offspring moment and most embarrassing offspring moment. You know his or her best friend’s best trait and his or her worst characteristic and you generally know the kind of humans that he or she comes into contact on a daily basis.

 

YOU HAVE FINANCIAL SECURITY:

You know how to budget your money and don’t go into excessive debt with impulsive over spending. You either both have good jobs or one of you has a good enough paying job to support you and one offspring for a year or more. You are smart enough to have a savings account or very secure investment for life’s emergencies, offspring higher education, and retirement.

YOU TRY TO BE EFFICIENT:

Not wasting time, energy, and money is not only important on the job but is also important in a good relationship. You schedule your work time and you should also try to schedule your family time so there is always time to spend on important things such as getting enough sleep, some exercise, a good healthy meal, time with the offspring, and time with each other.

If you are efficient with your family life then you will have more promises fulfilled, less time spent on trivial pursuits which just waste time, energy, and money, and you will have time left over to improve your lives with more knowledge and new skills which can come in handy for a better paying job or career. Your life will be more predictable, interesting, and fulfilling if you budget your time, energy, and money wisely and do it by the clock or a schedule where you establish the important priorities in your lives and focus more attention on them to mutual benefit.

To set important priorities in family life you can ask these questions: What am I spending time on now? How much time am I spending on it? How important is the activity in our lives? Which priorities should I spend more time, energy, and money on?

Human society is very inefficient and selfindulgent with too much emphasis on mindless entertainment. Eliminate much of the mindless entertainment from your lives or reduce it to a bare minimum and you will have successful useful goal oriented relationships which grow in value and happiness as time progresses.

Excluding or severely reducing the time spent on bad lazy fruitless time consuming habits is not going to be easy because you are getting some satisfaction by doing them but if you succeed in replacing or reducing the old time consuming bad habits and increasing the time spent on good habits then the whole family will benefit!!!!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them and read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSErays of truth in a world filled with myths and deceptions.

Go to twitter.com/uldissprogis for a complete readily accessible list of all the blogs and titles where I guarantee that you will find much more than a handful of blogs which interest you.

Enjoy!!!!!!

4 MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IN A LONG DURATION OR LASTING MARRIAGE!!!!

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There are hundreds of tips and advice on marriage but few identify the most important building blocks which create a very good foundation for a long duration marriage. The 4 most important foundations are-

 SHARED MORALITY

 MUTUAL CARING

 FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY

 GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS

 

SHARED MORALITY:

In an increasingly relativistic world where situation ethics or loose morality is being taught by professionals and condoned by society at large, the statistics for successful marriages are depressing and getting worse. You don’t need archaic religious morality to guide you but you do need to share a strong secular morality to make a marriage work. The two most important moral principles in that secular morality are DON’T LIE and DON’T COMMIT ADULTERY IF MARRIED.

If you believe that being honest, sincere, and trying to be truthful are not important in a marriage then you will not have a trusting relationship in the marriage and without trust you will be living in constant fear, uncertainty, suspicion, stress, and turmoil. Any initial bond, which may only be primarily sexual, which helped to initially keep your relationship together will be broken and the relationship will destruct sooner if not later. If at any point in the relationship you find out that you can’t TRUST your partner, DON’T MARRY him or her.

If you find out, hopefully in time, that your potential mate has been a playboy or playgirl for 5 to 10 years then the odds are against you that you will have an adulterous free marriage and the probability that you will divorce sooner or later is very large. If your potential mate has many adulterous friends then this is also a dangerous sign that you too will probably be victimized by the same fate sooner or later. If you have lived together for about one year, are financially secure enough to support one child and can’t get a commitment to marry then end the relationship because it is a purely sexual one and your potential mate is hoping to find a better mate in the future.

 

MUTUAL CARING:

If you find out that your potential spouse does not respect you and does not show an interest in and support most of the things that you like and love to do or does not care about you then consider him or her an incurable selfcentered egotist. It is a human who has not learned to care about other humans and it is unfortunately too late to teach them how to be a nurturing and protective or a caring individual.

 

FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY:

Inadequate finances or irresponsible management of finances is the leading cause of divorce. If you are good at budgeting money and your potential spouse is not then it is possible for the responsible spouse to take over the financial management successfully if the other is seriously willing to do so. If both of you have independent jobs and accounts and both are irresponsible financially and impulsive in your spending habits then the marriage will almost never succeed.

Offspring are always an additional financial responsibility and if you haven’t enough money to support any then use birth control until you can responsibly support offspring. If you both are working then make sure that just one of you can support the family on your own for a year or more unless you both earn enough to pay for a full time nanny and can continue to work after a very short pregnancy period which will not result in losing a good paying job.

 

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:

A great disadvantage in solving family problems is frequent emotional displays, many emotional arguments, constant criticism, a general inability to discuss problems rationally, and an unwillingness or inability to give emotional support when needed in times of personal hardship and stress. Emotional eruptions shut down an ability to discuss and solve a problem and if one of you can’t control your emotions or shut down and don’t communicate at all about important topics then the marriage will fail in the long duration.

CONCLUSION:

Find a human who you can trust, who demonstrates with actions and words that he cares about you, who is financially capable and responsible, and who has good communication skills and the probability is great that you will have a long duration marriage! If you can’t find the above human then get ready for much disappointment and failure in your relationship and it probably won’t last!!!!!! Of course if you fall madly in love with a human with the above characteristics and abilities and go past the infatuation stage then you will have nice memories to think about in old age if you do marry.

 

If you liked this evergreen blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE.

Enjoy!!!!!!

LOVE DOES NOT HAVE AN OPPOSITE EMOTION!!!!!!

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Love: v. to sense a very intense pleasure for a subset(s) one cares about and the behaviors which exist with it and frequently desiring to (possess and/or interact with) and/or experience samer subset(s) for a short and/or long duration

Subset: n. a thing

Historically and currently hate is erroneously assumed to be the opposite of love which it is not. Many people love to hate and use it to control other people by getting them to hate humans such as politicians, tyrants, unions, and bad bosses. They want you to love to hate animals such as spiders and snakes and love to hate things such as pollution, hurricanes, tornadoes, and diseases such as cancer and sexually transmitted diseases. Face it, we love to hate the subjectively bad things in life and love the good things in life.

Hate: v. to sense very intense disapproval which one feels when one wants to destroy a bad and/or wrong subset(s) which may be morally (bad and/or wrong) and/or may be (bad and/or wrong) because it is the primary reason why one can’t achieve a desired goal(s) and/ or (bad and/or wrong) because it is a source of mental displeasure and/or bodily pain

We care about the bad and good things in life so not caring is not the opposite of love either. If you don’t care about something then that is indifference or avoidance and those two are obviously not the opposite of love but is frequently an absence of emotion for something which we don’t consider as important in our lives.

The opposite of love is not a very intense unpleasant feeling because that would mean that pain, humiliation, cruelty, great dissatisfaction, and any very unpleasant feeling would be the opposite of love which we all know that it is not. A masochist actually loves pain so pain is definitely not the opposite of love.

CONCLUSION:

Once you define love accurately you realize that there is no opposite emotion for love or that love has no antonym. It is time to update the thesaurus and all literary works which claim that hate is the opposite of love.

Some of you may feel that love is not always a very intense pleasure but it is because if it is not very intense then it is called affection and not love.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82GUjPConiE

If you liked this evergreen blog then read more of them.

Enjoy!!!!!!

5 MAJOR WAYS TO SHOW YOU CARE

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Caring means that you know how to NURTURE and PROTECT your loved one or loved ones.

NURTURE

Each time talk about what your significant other cares about, it could be a present or future job or career, close friends, family, a favorite hobby, food, a favorite pastime, a prized possession, a favorite future travel destination, successful or pleasant moments, mutual plans for the future, plans for further education, and politics unless you are for opposing parties.

 Money and possessions can’t buy love but knowing a little about the possessions which are dear to your significant other is important because it will give you a better idea of what gifts to buy for special occasions which will not be disappointments and will really be what your significant other values the most.

PROTECT

Going to extremes and trying to overprotect your loved ones is bad but teaching them and trying to protect them to some extent from bad influences such as excessive debt, overeating, gambling, alcohol or drug abuse, pornography, impulse shopping, overindulgence in trivia, unrealistic goals, interference from inlaws, bad friends and bad acquaintances is a way of showing that you care by trying to protect them from harm or potential harm.

COMMUNICATE

You can nurture or support your loved one by communicating about the things which he or she cares about. You can communicate in person, by phone, by Skype, by texting, and even occasionally by letter.

Ask more questions about what your significant other cares about and learn to LISTEN to what he or she has to say about the topics. Talk more about him or her rather than yourself and when you talk about yourself be short and sweet and to the point.

SHARE

Share a favorite food and drink with your significant other either at home or in a restaurant.

Share some time together at events which your significant other enjoys. You may not like the same sports or talk shows or TV shows or hobbies or fashion but at least spend a little time getting to know some basic facts about them and you will become more knowledgeable and will be able to talk a little about them when the need arises.

You don’t have to fake interest if you don’t have any but consider it time well invested if you research something you don’t care about but which your significant other may actually like or love much. Caring about what goes on in the “men’s” or “women’s” world if you are of the opposite gender leads to healthier relationships and better understanding of the gender.

TEAMWORK

Teamwork or having mutual goals in life are important to establish early on in a relationship. If you can’t find mutual goals in life which you both want then end the relationship because it won’t work in the long duration.

If you are married and have offspring then nurture your offspring also and give them of your time and energy. Teach them how to become skilled and knowledgeable in household chores and responsibilities with younger siblings as soon as possible.

This way they can become as independent as soon as possible without the bad effects of overprotection. In effect, teach them how to do almost everything for themselves and teach them all you know that is significant to their lives in the present or future as soon as possible

Team up with your partner and share the responsibility of disciplining and teaching your offspring what you think is valuable in life.

Protect your young offspring from bad adult role models, including bad relatives, and bad friends and teach them the reasons they should be avoided if asked.

For more detailed knowledge about nurturing and protecting or caring read my evergreen book LOVEALL.

 

If you like this evergreen blog read more of them and maybe even read one or more of my evergreen books like COMMON SENSE.

Enjoy!!!!!!