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Historically a uniting morality and tradition kept society functioning at tolerable levels. Most felt that if you didn’t lie, didn’t steal, and worked hard and you were a male then you would be able to make enough money to afford a family lifestyle and have safe sex. The roles of males and females were relatively well defined and there was some certainty in knowing that if you made enough money then your offspring and household chores would be taken care of to a large extent.
Today male income is not sufficient to support a family in many instances unless you have a good paying career or profession, and even here there is no longer the certainty that you will have a job with the same company on into the indefinite future. Many households have working mothers and fathers whose income is not enough to support nannies or tutors for properly taking care of offspring and the result is many dysfunctional families and a high rate of divorce which is further caused by hedonistic or promiscuous social lifestyles which are tolerated and even promoted in society at large.
Many males fear commitment because they realize the great financial responsibility of a family and many can get sex without having to commit. Promiscuous lifestyles are an additional reason why adultery is rampant in marriage and the second most important reason for divorce.
The net result is that heterosexual traditions are being decimated since fewer and fewer offspring have had good heterosexual role models to imitate and the result is usually chaotic and unstable marital relationships if they are attempted. The tragic modern dilemma is -how do you indoctrinate good family values in humans who come from dysfunctional families to begin with. Book learning and marriage counseling is definitely not a viable solution for many failing marriages.
Not so obvious is the fundamental fact that integrity or honesty and morality, trustworthiness, dependability, commitment, good communication skills, and competence is essential to succeed in marriage and in society in general. Lie, commit adultery, promise and don’t follow through, argue too much, procrastinate and make excuses for your incompetence and you will not only fail in relationships but also fail in society. If you don’t lead a moral life not only will your family be ruined but society will not respect you and you will be ostracized from wholesome relationships. Lie or behave immorally and potentially trusting relationships break down and you will be leading a miserable lonely existence.
Wealth acquired morally is respected. Wealth acquired immorally may be respected as long as humans are deceived into thinking it was acquired morally but the respect turns to revulsion once the truth surfaces. The money corrupted political and establishment media including the entertainment media were deceptively misleading the gullible public with propaganda designed to keep the public ignorant of the fact that they were kept in contempt by the elite some of whom led immoral lives in private.
Fake polls, fake news, and fake public personas revealed the moral corruption of the elite leadership from which it is going to have a hard if not impossible task to recover from because they are no longer trusted by the general public. The establishment is no longer respected and admired by the public and I don’t see the situation improving until there is a new moral enlightenment in society which will address the problem from the ground up.
Lie too often and respect is no longer possible. Where will this moral leadership come from? Yes, it will have to come from the ground up but those in power will unfortunately have to impose the leadership from the top down and initiate it from the ground up. Is this even possible without a moral renaissance? Who will lead the charge? It will definitely have to be more than just one human.
Most important young impressionable minds must be indoctrinated with a secular moral code with worldwide applicability. It is- in nonemergency situations- don’t destroy biodiversity, don’t lie, don’t be inefficient, don’t steal, don’t commit adultery if married, and don’t murder.
Real life examples of the application of this moral code have to be given and I have outlined the details in my writing for the benefit of future generations. By the age of about 13 most humans should be able to impulsively know what is right or wrong or what is morally right or wrong. Fail at this most important indoctrination and trusting relationships between humans will cease to exist in great enough quantity to permit a relatively peaceful secure society to exist.
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The provided link gives an excellent presentation of the 6 major keys to successful persuasion which have been validated by science.
Very briefly if someone likes you, if you are an expert or authority figure, if you do them a favor first, if many have been persuaded already, if they have made a commitment, and if scarcity is emphasized then you are more likely to persuade successfully. Enjoy!!!
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Obligation: n. morally and/or legally expecting a human(s) to do a subset(s) frequently within duration
Responsibility: n. a subset(s) which is being controlled by a lifeform(s) and/or an obligation(s)
For example, an obligation originates out of a sense of duty or it results from obeying rules and/or custom and/or law. Achieving a promise is an example of an obligation which is an example of a social custom.
An obligation is usually associated with duration or a period of time during which it must be done so time is usually an important factor.
An obligation may be your personal responsibility but it may also be something which is the responsibility of more than one human. You may be obligated to do something, may act responsibly, and still fail at meeting the obligation if it is a very difficult one and must be done quickly. Taking on too great an obligation or too much responsibility is really one and the same thing. An obligation is a subset of responsibility.
You may be responsible for your risky behavior but you are seldom obligated to do it.
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Evasion: n. trying to escape and/or to avoid a subset(s) such as (responsibility and/or commitment) and/or (selfrevelation and/or confrontation) by using (cleverness and/or deception) and/or (a change in behavior and/or a change in direction)
Evasive tactics are frequently used when one wants to escape or avoid confrontational or unpleasant situations. You may want to avoid responsibility, commitment, confrontation, or selfrevelation and may use excuses, change the subject, promise to answer at a later date, speak much and never get to the point, start using the cellphone, excuse yourself to leave for the restroom, or quickly leave the premises.
Beating around the bush is a phrase frequently used when you are killing time hoping that maybe the ongoing subject will go away or eventually be ignored.
In nature prey frequently zigzag and change direction trying to avoid getting caught by a predator or trying to evade it. Humans also try to evade unpleasant conversations by changing the direction of the conversation to more pleasant themes.
If you are honest, have nothing to hide, and have done nothing wrong which would embarrass you then you will rarely have to use evasive tactics. The most evasion that you will be doing is just trying to avoid or ignore the bad humans in your life.
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Commitment: n. attaching to a goal(s) for duration
The most popular form of commitment is a marriage commitment and many women are having a hard time getting their boyfriends to commit to marriage. Marriage is a serious long duration commitment and if a man is getting sex for free and going out with someone who may not be his ideal for a marital partner then he may be reluctant to commit his financial resources to a woman with offspring or potential offspring which are an additional serious responsibility. Many couples are not in a secure financial situation and commitment is out of the question for many.
Commitment to a career is another popular form of commitment and sometimes too large a dedication to career may make for rather bad relationships with spouse and family.
There are short duration commitments to goals and long duration commitments. Modern humans are having most problems with long duration commitments to more useful education, marriage, and careers which technology is rapidly changing and making many jobs very different or even obsolete.
Long duration commitments take much determination, persistence, and perseverance or tenacity which requires much self-motivation and many give up easily if the going gets rough or there are too many failures along the way.
One frequently overlooked commitment is to a lifetime of learning new useful knowledge and skills which can come in very handy when opportunity knocks. You will have prepared yourself to seize that opportunity and prosper.
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To understand dedication you must understand the difference between commitment, devotion, and dedication which all seem to have the same meaning.
Commitment is merely attaching yourself to a goal(s) for a duration and you may not be emotionally committed and not have much resolve to follow through with the commitment.
Devotion is a loving and loyal commitment which can last a lifetime and it is usually reserved for spouses, offspring, non- profit organizations, religious organizations, and sometimes business organizations. You can be devoted to making much money but that is a sad kind of devotion if good honest relationships with humans are not an integral part of your quest for much money.
Dedication is emotionally intense commitment to a goal(s) which means that you are frequently investing a relatively large amount of time, effort, and even money and the dedication lasts for a duration which rarely is a lifetime and is frequently much less than a lifetime or a relatively short duration compared to a lifetime.
Dedication: n. achieving a goal(s) with intense commitment and frequently with much use of time and/or effort and/or frequently money
Commitment: n. attaching to a goal(s) for duration
Devotion: n. frequently showing loyal and loving commitment and frequently investing a relatively large amount of (time and/or money) and/or effort into samer commitment
Loyal: adj. intense attraction to a goal(s) which is frequently a human(s) and/or organization(s) which is frequently devotion with love but sometimes devotion without love
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Devotion: n. frequently showing loverelating commitment and frequently investing a relatively large amount of (time and/or money) and/or effort into samer commitment
Lovrelate: v. to sense much lovin and affection and liking for a subset(s) but not simultaneously
Commitment: n. attaching to a goal(s) for duration
Devotion means that you are not only committed to something but you also love or lovrelate that something and frequently invest much time, money, and effort into the commitment.
Devotion to a human(s) is the most frequent type but you can also be devoted to a cause such as a religion or a conservation organization.
Sometimes you can start off by being devoted to a marriage and latter it becomes merely a commitment without much love and the only reason that you stay married is because you promised the relationship would last a lifetime and you decide to keep that promise.
I am devoted to my marriage and the pursuit of truth which includes trying to logically define important words but other humans may merely be devoted to staying alive in this frequently unjust world.
If you are not devoted to anything important then find or pursue a passion or passions in your life and devote yourself to it or them and you may get much satisfaction doing so.
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He has realistic goals in his life, is assertive, and is confident that he will achieve the goals and knows what kind of a spouse he wants and goes for it.
He is building towards a good financial foundation for a future family and is not a bar hopper looking for one night stands.
He is honest, sincere, trustworthy, dependable, smart, somewhat caring, and with a good personality and is looking for an honest, sincere, and trustworthy mate who is dependable with smarts and a good personality who looks good but is not hot, wild, and exciting. In effect he knows what a good woman is and takes the time to know her more intimately if she is the type that he is looking for.
He has a somewhat caring personality or nurtures and protects you or supports your important interests and tries to protect you from bad influences and bad humans.
He is a good listener and is not only selfishly interested in himself and realizes that a conversation and a relationship is a two way street or that it should be mutually rewarding or satisfying.
He is not afraid of commitment if he really likes you and is ready to make one if he feels financially ready or will be financially ready in the near future. He plans to wait to have offspring until he is ready to support a family on his own for a short period of time until his spouse can work again and help to support the family financially too.
CONCLUSION:
Only some men are very caring. If you and he has a good job and he is financially responsible, is honest, dependable, trustworthy, has a good personality, and is a good communicator then go for him and ask for a commitment within a year’s time. If he doesn’t want to commit then break off the relationship because he is looking for a better or more attractive woman to come along.
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Fear of commitment seems to be primarily a male fear and too many females are confused why this is a realistic fact of modern life. Mythologically money should not affect anyone’s love life but the cruel fact is that money is more important than love in a marriage and an inadequate amount of money or money badly managed will lead to insoluble arguments, bankruptcy, and divorce.
Commitment to a marriage means a heavy financial burden for the male even if the female is currently working because offspring means that babies and offspring will have to be taken care of and frequently the cheapest way to do this is to have the female take time off from work if a competent baby sitter can’t be financed.
A wife with more than one offspring can speedily become a huge financial burden for a long time even after offspring graduate from high school or college because the internet and computer software is going to replace many current jobs and a liberal arts education will not be in great demand. Get a college education and get a good paying job is no longer a realistic fact for a liberal arts education which most of us are still blindly getting in an age of the internet and computer technology.
Not only is future employment for the male in some doubt for many, the materialistic modern lifestyle means heavy credit card debt for many future families. Financial doom and gloom or uncertainty is going to be a future fact of life for many families and responsible males have a gut feeling that makes fear of commitment a rational emotional response to a present and future reality.
Future economic uncertainty and the fundamental fact that most females with offspring are heavy financial liabilities is what makes fear of commitment so real and understandable. Job today but no job tomorrow is a modern fact of life for many middle class jobs.
About 47% of citizens are already receiving some form of government welfare aid in the United States and the percentage will only climb in the near foreseeable future. That means that almost half of all citizens can no longer make it financially on their own power.
Fear of commitment is growing and based on present and future reality for the majority of humans in this country and many other places in the world.
Theoretically or mythologically money should not affect loving relationships. The cruel reality is that it does affect and frequently destroys loving relationships, not only when money is managed badly but especially when there is not enough money to start with.
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