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Before talking to someone it is important to first know what the goal, purpose, or subject of the conversation is. Is it to just greet and just say hello or do you want to convey some information or instructions, get an answer to a question, discuss a topic, get to better know a human, get someone to help you with a task, or just make idle chit chat.
If the conversation is designed to sell something, to persuade someone, or to discuss job performance then this requires specialized skill sets not covered here. Public speaking is a one way conversation which is a skill we will not cover here.
A conversation may last longer than the goal that you had in mind but you should do your best to complete the goal of the conversation before you delve into other subject or topic areas if the need or impulse arises. Try to be brief and to the point before you get sidetracked which can happen occasionally.
Body language is important and you should not cross your arms or stare intently during a long conversation. Eye contact is more important during a short conversation and smiling always helps but you can deflect your eyes quite often during a long conversation.
Word fillers can be just as annoying as long pauses so try to avoid repeating useless words such as “um”, “like”, and “you know” throughout the conversation.
Really listen to the response and you will better be able to judge whether you were misunderstood, whether the human was upset or delighted by your question or statement, or whether the human is offering an opinion or fact which can be used as a follow up question or a reason to continue the flow of the conversation. If you really listen more than you talk then you may be surprised by what you can learn and you will be respected more since you will be showing a sincere interest in the talker.
It is ok to interrupt if the human is getting off subject or is delving into boring trivia. You can interrupt and can change the subject or postpone the discussion to a later date or time. Some interruptions can be rude such as the distractions of a cell phone, others entering the conversation unannounced, and trying to multitask.
A lengthy conversation is usually a two way street or a mutual conversation and empathy is sometimes very important. To demonstrate sincere empathetic engagement you can repeat another’s word, phrase, or sentence and use this as a source for follow up questions which keep the conversation going. Using words such as “I know how you feel”, “That happened to me too”, “I feel your excitement or pain”, and “My feeling exactly” will make a human feel that they are saying something important or interesting and that you care about them.
If there is time then you can tell a story or relate a personal experience which fits the topic of the conversation and gets the point across so do this. Many humans like stories with a point and personal experiences or examples from real life which inform or demonstrate a principle.
Sometimes conversations can erupt into arguments, especially when opinions or beliefs conflict or a human feels that they have been offended, so try to remain in discussion mode and apologize if you hurt someone’s feelings unintentionally. Sometimes agree to disagree to get the conversation out of confrontation mode.
If you have integrity or are honest and moral, are trustworthy, sincere, dependable, friendly, and competent with some empathy then humans will respect you and even admire you. They will be more interested in what you have to say.
In a nutshell to have a good conversation, listen more than you speak, ask follow up questions, stick to topics of mutual interest, and be empathetic where appropriate.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.
Enjoy!!!!!!
If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!
Before offering advice on communicating with potential dates on the internet or with texting it is important to state why so much of the communication is unsuccessful.
One major reason that successful communication is so difficult is that there are many males and some females who are deceptive and lie over the internet posing as someone who they really are not. They basically are afraid to reveal who they truly are because they fear that they won’t be physically attractive enough or financially well off enough. They may try to post fake pictures and claim to hold down great jobs when in reality they are average looking and unemployed or working at minimum wage. So try not to be gullible and maintain a healthy suspicion if he sounds too good to be true.
The second reason that successful internet communication is so difficult is that most of the males and also females are really not ready for serious dating. The primary reasons may be because of no job or poor income and any real attempts at dating usually result in very disappointing colossal failures because serious dating usually consumes much time, energy, and money.
Your whole purpose for texting or communicating with men should be to eventually find out if they are going to be a good marital or business partner. You may be a modern promiscuous female just having fun and falsely assuming that what all men really want is immediate sexual intimacy. You may honestly feel that sex should be given to any male that interests you greatly and you will find many playboy males who want to show you a good time but no eventual commitment.
Texting or meeting a new human face to face for the first time is basically the same approach. You want to quickly find out if the man is going to be a good potential friend or mate without being too flirtatious or beating around the bush. If the man is just texting or searching for naïve females to take advantage of them sexually then it is better to find out the truth as soon as possible rather than beat around the bush with vague and emotionally fulfilling communications.
You ideally want a male who has integrity, is trustworthy, is dependable, is competent, and a good communicator. He should be someone who is not afraid to answer tough and eventually somewhat personal questions so don’t be afraid to ask tough questions and eventually some rather personal questions. You want men with the courage to confront almost any question that you may ask. If you feel that you may have offended him with some comment then quickly apologize and move on in the relationship as long as it lasts.
If you are an average looking female without a college education hoping to land a successful college educated male with a good career or job then you are usually wasting your time. If you are a college educated woman with a good career or job then beware of males without adequate education who have no job or very poor ones, especially if they are very handsome. The old saying is still basically true that “birds of a feather flock together” so try to stay away from males outside your comfort and educational zone unless you are extremely attractive and sexy.
In effect don’t aim too high and don’t aim too low in desperate fashion because the probability of making the right long duration connection with a male is rather low or remote over the internet or in person.
Here are some suggested questions to ask:
What do you do for a living?
This question may frighten away many males who have no job or poor ones and that is precisely the reason for the question because you don’t want to waste your time and energy on a financially poor male. If the male has a good job then he will be very willing to tell you about it and maybe brag a little. Talking about his job is a good way to boost his ego with further follow up questions about the job.
Have you always done x for a living?
This is a good follow up question to the first one because you can maybe catch a male in a lie about his job or profession if his prior jobs do not fit his current job status plausibly.
Are you a local?
Long distance relationships fail quite frequently so unless you have the money to travel stay with potential local relationships and stay away from long distance ones.
Long distance relationships are like exciting honeymoons every time you briefly meet physically and are very deceptive indicators of lasting happiness. If you or the male move and live together for a year you may decide that the relationship was never meant to be a lasting one.
What do you do in your free time?
This question will reveal whether the male is just vegetating or doing some interesting things to fill his free time such as trying to improve himself or mostly spending his money on rather trivial pursuits.
Do you have any hobbies?
A good mate is one who usually has a life outside of work so hobbies are one way of determining where his interests also lie outside of work.
How long have you had that hobby?
Some men will brag and maybe deceive females into thinking that they have expensive and interesting hobbies so this is a way to find out if he is deceiving you or has had the hobby for a relatively long time.
Do you have any children?
This question and theme will eventually find out if he is recently divorced or maybe is still married.
After these few initial questions you can end the first or initial interaction until the next time when you can continue to probe deeper with more personal questions.
Do you like your job?
If he doesn’t like his job then you can ask a follow up question and ask if he is going to do anything about a lousy job. You can find out if he has bigger plans or will be stuck in a miserable job on into the near foreseeable future.
How long have you lived here?
You will find out if he is a native local or someone relocating due to job or other reasons.
Do you have many friends?
You can find out if he is somewhat of an extrovert or maybe an introvert with few friends and maybe only one close friend.
What are your future plans?
This will reveal whether the male has some ambition or has too much unrealistic ambition and is vainly hoping to become a celebrity star in some field.
What interesting places have you travelled to?
You can find out if his interests are local or international in scope. A follow up question would be -Where would you like to travel to if you had the opportunity?
What is your favorite food or drink?
Eating is a universal pleasurable pastime and you can find out whether he cooks himself, is a junk food addict, one eating much organic food, or a food gourmet going to restaurants.
Are you on Facebook or Instagram?
You can determine how deeply into social media he is with follow up questions.
After determining whether they are a potential future friend or mate ask for personal information such as an email or telephone number and use phrases such as- It was great talking to you. It would be nice if we kept in touch. What is your email or cellphone number?
Finally, before an actual first date it is important to call the man and speak to him over the phone verbally. You will usually find out pretty quickly if he is the same man on the phone as he is on the internet. Voice fluctuations and his ability to think on his feet instantaneously will become apparent with a phone call and you can often sense if the right vibes are there for actual first date attempts.
The next questions and some direct quotes with some variations are based on Matthew Hussey’s article “9 Magic Texts No Man Can Resist”. Frankly you should be suspicious of any article with the term Magic in it and celebrity Hussey is guilty of misleading a mass audience of women in this instance.
When he asks you what you’re up to?
If you are doing something interesting or have plans to do something which doesn’t sound boring then tell him honestly what you are up to. If you are up to nothing then you can say “I’m taking a shower and will head out later.” If he follows up with “where are you going to head out?” then you had better be prepared to tell him where or he will suspect that you are lying. That is why it is important to be as truthful as possible and not be lying or deceptive in your answers.
If you don’t think that you are a very interesting human doing interesting things then stay single and start on a course of self improvement before you seriously try to make internet connections with males.
“Just bought this. What do you think?”
Men are visual creatures and will respond to a picture of you which is attractive but not overly sexy. He will probably compliment you in some way and it is an opportunity to find out if it is a sincere compliment or an exaggerated and insincere one.
“You should be here right now.”
This suggests that you would want him to be where you are because seemingly something interesting or exciting is going on. Once again he could ask why? Then you will be in a bind if you are not doing anything interesting or exciting. Once again vague statements can be intriguing and good sources for follow up communication but you should be ready to explain or state WHY or you will come across as a deceptive fraud if you aren’t doing anything interesting or exciting.
“I just had an incredible burger! Almost sexual.”
Men like food so a tasty food discovery is always an exciting event. However, be careful about inserting sexual in your phrase unless you may want to get personally sexually intimate in the near future. These days women are more promiscuous than in earlier times but I would reserve sexual intimacy for men who are potentially good marriage partners and you have known them long enough to feel that they are potential good marital partners.
“This jacket would look attractive on you.”
You could use the same sentence with “look HOT on you” but that has sexual connotations and should be used only if you think he considers you more as a friend than a romantic relationship. Using the word hot can be considered sexual baiting if you don’t intend to get sexual with him any time soon.
“As hot as you are, I don’t move that fast.” “But I would be happy to see your handsome face if you want to take me on a date this or next week.”
“Let’s start out as friends and consider sexual intimacy when and if we become close friends.” “ But I would be happy to see your handsome face if you want to take me on a date this or next week.” (This is an honest smart response designed for a smart male.”
This is a good way to turn away a premature sexual advance yet convey your opinion that he is sexually attractive but you are not ready to get sexually intimate. Whether you believe it or not men who are interested in a future wife don’t want one that is sexually promiscuous or one who is overly free with her sexual intimacy. If you develop a reputation as a woman who sleeps around a lot then you will attract many noncommittal males.
“I am not sure we can be friends anymore”
This can either mean that you are breaking up the friendship or you want the relationship to develop past the friendship phase. You may be asked WHY so make sure that you have a truthful answer which makes sense. “I want our relationship to become more exclusive because my feelings for you are becoming rather intense.” or “I want a more exclusive relationship with you.” or “I think I may be falling in love with you.”
Conclusion:
Being honest and expecting honesty should be the guiding principle in any male female interaction. If the male is caught in an intentional lie or is being intentionally deceptive about something important then drop him like a hot potato. Trust is the bond which makes for lasting relationships. Start lying and trust breaks down and there is no good relationship.
Make sure first that you are a woman a man needs and make sure the man is someone you need beyond just a mere sugar daddy or a man financially well off.
You want a male who appreciates you for who you are and who you are hoping to become. Stay single until you are genuinely a good catch for a male that fits your idea of a good father who will be a parent to your future offspring. Ideally he should be a motivating or encouraging, confident, interesting personality who will grow with you in a relationship and in life skills and not become a repetitive uninteresting bore stagnating in life.
STAY SINGLE until you have much more to offer in a relationship than just your vagina! If you want someone with integrity or morality and honesty, trustworthiness, dependability, competence, and with a good job then be someone with integrity, trustworthiness, dependability, competence, and a good job. Yes, many men ideally prefer beautiful, sexy, females but few can realistically afford them because they are usually high maintenance.
Promiscuity is a great enemy to lasting marital relationships. Promiscuity is a bad addictive habit. Adultery is almost inevitable in formerly promiscuous males and females. My opinions on dating may seem conservative and traditional in many ways but they are tried and true techniques which seldom fail in real life in the long duration. Give in to the promiscuity temptation and you are very likely to join the vast number of eventual failed marriages in the modern world if you get that far.
Due to economic uncertainty and a premium on technological jobs, if you are the average liberal arts major then plan for a rather poor single existence for a relatively long duration. Many are choosing to continue living with their parents if permitted after graduation and becoming financially independent and living on your own is becoming increasingly difficult.
Female biological clocks are always ticking but rushing into a marriage in desperation is often a formula for failure and much sustained misery in life.
As long as you are slowly trying to improve yourself in an enthusiastic, determined way then the odds for landing a good future male also increase. Above everything else, never stop trying to get better because a better man should eventually pop up in your life and decide to stay.
My sister in law had quite a few failed relationships in her life until she met her husband at the age of 50. Yes, she will never have offspring of her own but she is finally married and it seems happily married for the time being. Those prior men frankly primarily used her for sex and never intended to make a long duration commitment.
Some women may feel that being used sexually is better than being ignored but that is not a recipe for long duration happiness for most females.
No one is the final authority on dating in the modern world including myself. Humans vary widely in looks, abilities, and circumstances. Use your own further research to find dating pointers from other sources which maybe fit your own view of male female relationships better. Some relationships can be quite playful with their share of bullshit so adjust your dating to some males who are a little on the risky side if you want some unpredictability and excitement in a relationship.
There is another saying that “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.” It basically means that you should take calculated risks occasionally or you will not gain anything or gain useful knowledge, experience, and achievement. Take a chance and you might succeed or at least learn from the failure and get more emotional intelligence about human males and humans in general.
I offer the following link for all those who have not analyzed themselves or have not taken the time to know themselves. You will find out that it greatly helps to know yourself before you try to improve yourself which is what life should be all about if you want to be happy in the long duration.
https://uldissprogis.com/2017/12/22/analyzing-yourself-to-know-thyself/
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.
Enjoy!!!!!!
If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!
One myth is that we use only about 10% of our brain. In fact almost all the brain is active all the time so we use about 100% of the brain, although certain regions of the brain are more active than others for given activities. MRI’s are one way to detect brain activity for different mental activities or different activated regions in the brain.
It is a myth that the left brain is more logical, analytical, intellectual, and the right brain is more intuitive, creative, and artistic. Both sides of the brain participate in analyzing, synthesizing, and intuitively being creative.
While it is true that some humans who do better in mathematics and science with much formal training, they tend to be more logical and analytical and their creativity and intuition is more firmly limited by objective rules and principles that guide their thinking. Both sides of the brain are used to function.
Artists can also analyze and synthesize what they are doing. Their subjective, impulsive creativity and often less formal training has less rigorous limitations. This results in many more mutant forms of creativity which are frankly very random in nature and often show a minimum of focused skill. You could generally say that artists are much freer or wilder in their thinking and doing than mathematicians and scientists but both sides of the brain participate.
It is a myth that there is ESP or extra sensory perception or psychic ability. Despite the fact that there is no scientific evidence to support psychic ability, humans love to think and believe that someone may be able to foresee the future and tell them what is in store for them.
The popularity of horoscopes is one indication of the gullibility of humans who fall for these predictive prognostications. Yes, there is coincidence that what the horoscope talks about or predicts is what generally or actually happens in your life on certain days. However, statistically horoscopes are less than 50% accurate which means that they are worse at predicting the future than a coin toss prediction.
Human hope springs eternal and one or a few lucky coincidences or events is unfortunately what keeps fortunetellers and gambling operations in business. One accurate prediction or a fake staged performance of many accurate predictions in front of a large audience can make many gullible believers in psychic ability.
It is a myth that subliminal messages can affect our behavior. Subliminal means something below the threshold of sensing and/or consciousness so if the message is visual and/or verbal we would not be aware of it realistically.
Yes, you could randomly flash a picture or part of a picture on the screen or flash an audio of a word and/or sound. This would register on our brain and we would be probably annoyed at the random disturbance, not be positively affected by it, and it would no longer be a subliminal message which we are not aware of.
It is a myth that adolescence is a time for emotional outbursts, stress, tension, rebellion, dependency conflicts, peer-group conformity, sexy dress, motorcycles, black leather jackets, and similar deviant behavior. Most adolescents from normal moral families do not have turbulent adolescences and those that do usually come from dysfunctional families.
Sure, even moral families may witness a few rebellious incidents such as clandestine cigarette, drug, or alcohol use, trying to fit in with undesirable popular peers, or inappropriate clothing and accessories. However, the vast majority do not have many such undesirable behavior problems, especially in nonwestern cultures where parenting is more formalized, better disciplined, and less permissive.
It is a myth that polygraphs or lie detectors and truth serums can accurately detect dishonesty or lies. Polygraphs measure parameters such as degree of sweating and heart beat but they are only about 60% accurate in detecting lies which means that about 40% get away with the lie.
Truth serum like alcohol reduces your inhibitions and you are slightly more inclined to tell the truth but the accuracy of truth serum is no better than the polygraph. The government still occasionally uses the polygraph on some of it’s high security workers but it is forbidden evidence in a court of law because it can’t prove anything beyond a reasonable doubt or close to 100% accuracy.
It is a myth that happiness is mostly dependent on our external circumstances. While it is true that there are certain things like possessions, great house, great job, plenty of pleasurable events, and much money which can bring great happiness in the short duration, long duration happiness is mostly dependent on inner drives, ambition, personality traits, attitudes, disposition, motivations, thoughts, and beliefs and not so much on external circumstances.
An external circumstance like divorce and death in the family can lead to some long duration unhappiness but in general we adjust to our own homeostasis or how happy we are over the long haul.
Yes, having some close and great friends are an external circumstance which has the potential to create great happiness but it is often because we ourselves have INNER integrity, are dependable, trustworthy, encouraging, and competent in our lives and attract other humans with similar characteristics.
Other humans, an external circumstance, make volunteering possible but it is ultimately the INNER satisfaction of helping others or a cause which makes the volunteer happy in the long duration.
A lonely household cat can be happy with food, water, sleep, shelter, petting, and a little exercise. Some minimally existing humans also don’t need very much to be happy if they have adequate food, water, sleep, shelter, clothes, alcohol, and occasional contact with other humans.
The truth is that both internal and external factors affect our happiness but the greatest source of long duration happiness is internal factors. Being optimistic, ambitious, driven, grateful, friendly, empathetic, courageous, confident, and being a perpetual thinker and doer trying to achieve short and long duration goals are internal factors which yield the greatest personal happiness under all external circumstances over a lifetime.
It is a myth that humans who are opposite in looks, personality, and beliefs are attracted to each other. It is a popular Hollywood myth which makes for interesting cinema but the reality is that similar looks, personalities, and beliefs result in more lasting relationships with spouses and friends alike. Our ideal mate or friend may be someone whom we ourselves would not attract because we ourselves are not as ideal as we think we are and simply can’t attract and land our ideal mate or friend.
Many of us like to fantasize how great it would be to marry a beautiful or handsome human with a great personality even though we are plain looking with borderline personalities. This is why opposites attract films get much support from the common filmgoer or watcher.
Yes, being too similar in looks, personality, and beliefs may lead to boredom but most humans are different enough to have slightly different likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses, which makes an ongoing relationship interesting if both have an ambition to improve themselves in some way or have different goals in life as time progresses.
It is a myth that men and women communicate in completely different ways. Some women are more talkative than men because some are more social than men and have more friends. They also have a tendency to go into minute details about who said what to whom and what were the reactions. Men historically have been doers and not talkers on the job so traditionally women stayed at home and communicated with offspring and friends over the phone. Today both men and women work and lead similar lifestyles so the difference in talkativeness is rather minimal overall but may vary widely for individual couples.
It seems that women and men in positions of power interrupt conversations more often so it is not a characteristic of men only.
Women seem to be more perceptive of nonverbal cues than men or can detect emotional nuances better than men. This is not surprising because women have historically been trained to express their emotions rather than suppress them as is more common with men. Yes, it is acceptable if a woman cries but not a man in most cultures and this is just a reflection of cultural bias and conditioning. A man is supposed to control his emotions and a woman can be more emotional. Women in general and men with emotional intelligence can better pick up emotional cues.
Individuals differ in the degree of the quality and quantity of their personal communication but there are no glaring differences between how men or women communicate in general.
It is a myth that it is better to express anger than to hold it in. While some humans may initially feel better after yelling loudly, punching a bag, or destroying some property the long duration result is that it encourages or enforces future angry or aggressive episodes and prolongs the hatred of the subject or object of the anger.
Disciplining yourself to internally suppress angry feelings when they arise is the best policy. Taking concrete steps to reduce that anger such as counting to ten or delaying a problem for future resolution when the anger has subsided is the right thing to do.
It is a myth that low selfesteem is the major cause of psychological problems. Research has NOT shown a cause effect relationships between low selfesteem and problems such as violence, alcoholism, drug abuse, eating disorders, school dropouts, teenage pregnancy, suicide, and bad academic achievement.
Accepting this myth has resulted in rewarding trophies to losers in sports and falsely telling students that they are smart, great, and wonderful for trying and failing at important tasks. Praising humans when they don’t deserve it or have not earned the praise leads to humans who are deluded into thinking that they are greater than they really are and their sense of selfworth is corrupted or is highly inaccurate.
True confindence or valid selfesteem grows out of successfully achieving more goals than failing at goal achievement. Delusional selfesteem arises when we fail much more often than succeed at doing things and still have a great deal of delusional confidence in ourselves.
The primary source for this article was 50 Great Myths of Popular Psychology by Lilienfeld, Lynn, Ruscio, and Beyerstein.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
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There are very many more detailed keys to a lasting relationship than just 7. Despite all our efforts to make a relationship work there are some crises in life which can derail what may have seemed like a lifetime relationship no matter how much we may try to avoid a termination of the relationship. These basic 7 keys will help to optimize a long duration relationship and are good starting points when further researching the details on how to make a relationship last.
A similar moral background with integrity and similar views on severe addictions,
Good communication, especially when problem solving with minimal angry confrontations,
Financial responsibility,
Sharing responsibilities in and around the house, especially for working couples
Enjoying sharing mutual experiences with family and friends,
Mutual encouragement and support to pursue mutual and individual goals,
Ongoing research into new interests which are then shared.
Almost all relationships will crash and burn if there is lying, deceitfulness, promiscuity, failure to fulfill promises, and criminal immorality. That is why it is important that both of you have similar moral viewpoints and are very honest with each other so that mutual trust and respect can flourish in the long duration. What this also implies is that you are free of traditional vices or severe addictions to alcohol, drugs, food, gambling, promiscuity, profligate spending, etc.
Failure to communicate at all or doing so very badly will terminate most relationships even if they initially seemed to be on the right track. Being a poor listener and having angry confrontations when problems have to be solved is sure to lead to a breakup sooner or later or a very miserable existence as long as this dysfunctional condition continues.
Next to infidelity, financial irresponsibility is the second greatest cause for a relationship breakup, especially in a marriage. If you are a compulsive spender or can’t control your urge to shop and buy then this will be the wrecking ball which will end a marriage. Sticking to a budget is the only possible way of salvaging a financially irresponsible relationship.
For working couples sharing in the responsibilities in and around the house and sharing offspring rearing responsibilities is important or one will feel overburdened or overwhelmed with a lopsided workload. Relatively few modern day couples can make a go of it on only one paycheck so sharing the responsibility of caring for offspring, cleaning house, doing grocery and other shopping is very important or one will be suffering from premature burnout.
Whether you are sharing enjoyable experiences with friends or family this act of sharing has a bonding effect on the participants. If you are single then bonding with friends is more important but if married your priority should be bonding with family first and then friends. Yes, some feel it is more important to bond with humans on the job than with family. This is a long duration threat to a family relationship and many regret belatedly that they didn’t spend more time with family despite a relatively successful career which may have always been priority number one.
When things are going bad for us the one thing which we all crave is empathy and encouragement from our significant other that things will eventually get better or work themselves out. Encouragement is also essential to motivate one in mutual goals and also in some personal individual goals which one may want to achieve. Let’s support each other in our mutual goals and individual interests or goals also sums up what active encouragement really means. Giving support is not only emotional but has a monetary and effort support component too.
A relationship can lead to boredom and apathy if both are pretty much doing the same thing day in and day out and both seem to be stagnating. The antidote to this undesirable circumstance is to research and develop new interests along the way so that the relationship is ever changing and growing in complexity. Some younger and many retired couples find that after the offspring are raised they really don’t have very much interesting things to do individually or mutually and some decide to part ways in search of a more exciting or interesting life.
You have to work on a lasting relationship and that means actively nurturing and trying to protect it or caring about the relationship in an ongoing way. Stop spending your time, energy, effort, and money on a relationship and it will often rapidly fade and become a thing of the past.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4200 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.
Enjoy!!!!!!
If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4200 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.
Enjoy!!!!!!
If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3700 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.
Enjoy!!!!!!
If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!
Many of the enemies of a relationship are also enemies of intimacy. Intimacy is really a closeness of two humans emotionally and physically and anything which reduces this closeness can be considered to be a disruptive influence or a potential enemy.
Much less communication,
disrespectful and critical comments,
hiding or lying about true feelings and events causes distrust,
an overly domineering attitude which minimizes sharing,
getting bored with predictable repetitive routines,
adultery,
mental and/or physical abuse,
financial overspending,
loss of a job,
over dedication to job,
sexual denial by wife,
severe addiction,
irresponsible behavior,
disagreement on how to raise offspring,
getting old, and
an increase in combative or arguing behavior are potential causes of decreasing intimacy and correspondingly threats to the relationship.
Some may argue that loss of a job, financial overspending, a severe addiction, and adultery are indirect causes of a reduction in intimacy but all of these behaviors can directly increase arguing, distrust, disrespectful and critical comments so intimacy is still affected adversely even if this happens indirectly.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.
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If you have integrity and are trustworthy, dependable, competent, friendly, and empathetic then your chances of forming close, good relationships is optimized. Being immoral and having many bad habits or one or more severe handicapping bad addictions will almost always ruin the possibility of close, good relationships. That being said there are 8 important factors which affect the strength of a bonding relationship:
TRUST:
Trust is the most important bonding characteristic which makes a relationship possible in the first place. Being honest, sincere, and moral or having integrity means that a relationship can potentially flourish if nurtured further.
Lie, steal, or commit adultery and trust can’t exist. Some dysfunctional relationships continue to exist without trust because of fear of abandonment or the fear of physical violence but these relationships are definitely not good or happy ones.
COMMUNICATION:
A relationship is threatened and often ruined if the communication is very bad, if there is very little of it, and definitely ruined when there is no communication at all.
Ideal communication is being a good listener, asking relevant questions, being relatively brief in responses, respecting opposing opinions or beliefs, not being verbally abusive or offensive, and interrupting or changing the subject if the conversation becomes too verbose, too trivial, too emotional, or irrelevant.
RESPECT:
If you have integrity then you will be respected but respect can also be increased with appropriate kindness, gratitude, caring, empathy, openness, listening, dependability, responsibility, competence, expertise, confidence, tolerance of opposing opinions and beliefs, and respect increases by not being verbally or physically abusive. A socially prominent respected human will often also be admired.
RESPONSIBILITY:
A responsible human accepts the consequences of his or her actions and does not try to find excuses or blame others for his or her own mistakes and failures. Moral, parental, behavioral, and financial responsibility is essential for a good relationship.
COOPERATION:
Sharing and/or compromising on parental, household, and financial responsibilities is the essence of what cooperation is. Mutually agreeing on what is to be done by who at what time is what cooperation between two or more individuals means. Whether it is between two individuals or an entire team or organization a good relationship depends on successful cooperation.
BEING GOOD ROLE MODELS:
A good relationship thrives if the participants in the relationship are good role models. This is particularly important in parenting where offspring will do what you do rather than do what you tell them to do. Words are rather weak motivators if your personal behavior and your words don’t match up. If you are a good friend then associate with humans who are also good friends or try to mostly have relationships with good role model humans.
Realistically not that many are good role models and you will also have to learn how to interact with quite a few bad role models in the course of a lifetime without becoming overly cynical, jaded, or spoiled.
INDIVIDUAL FREEDOM:
In any relationship one must respect individual interests and pursuits which make a relationship interesting and potentially more rewarding. Encouraging or motivating someone to pursue their individual interests and build upon their strengths is usually good for a relationship.
PATIENCE:
Not every problem or confrontation needs an urgent solution. Sometimes some research, further discussion, consulting with competent adults, and just letting more time to pass determines whether mutual agreement is possible or whether a live and let live attitude is preferable.
Transient angry confrontations should be minimized by patiently waiting until a given situation can be calmly discussed instead. Angry confrontations often cause insults, put downs, name calling, humiliation, and ridicule which just creates bad feelings and no resolution of the conflict.
Important problems with potential solutions need patient waiting until enough information and resolve grows to a point where a solution is obvious and possible.
Most parental relationships have a dominant or controlling partner who makes most of the important family decisions and runs the risk of becoming too tyrannical and impulsive with her or his demands. Emotional patience is often a virtue and patiently doing something is less of a virtue especially if it takes the form of procrastination on too many things.
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The essence of great leadership is an ability to set relevant goals, have excellent communication skills, and to be able to motivate or inspire workers to do their best with what they have. That being said here are 14 characteristics of a great leader:
They keep good communications going by encouraging workers to speak to them, asking questions, noting complaints, and creating a safe, secure, approachable atmosphere where workers are not afraid to speak up when they feel it is necessary.
They communicate expectations or set realistic challenges or goals for workers to follow and place the responsibility of performing the details on workers and make them accountable for their work.
They prioritize goals based on an estimate of their urgency, potential impact on profitability of the company if it is a business, and cost of personnel and resources needed to achieve the desired goals.
They estimate the approximate time it will take to achieve the goals and when members of the staff will start on them.
They have an ongoing thirst for new relevant knowledge, do research, ask relevant questions, and seek counsel from others as needed.
They know how to confidently make relatively quick impulsive decisions based on years of experience and are seldom confronted with lengthy periods of doubt and uncertainty.
They evaluate or assess worker performance and give appropriate privileges and rewards or give credit where credit is due.
They are trustworthy and provide accurate, continuous, motivating, and supportive feedback to workers as they perform their tasks but don’t micro manage them.
They are good at assigning appropriately talented individuals to relevant tasks or know which workers will do a better job at given tasks and allocate and deploy accordingly.
They don’t procrastinate and are good at analyzing problems and assigning appropriate resources and personnel to solve them.
They are competent, energetic, likable, respected, and strong willed with an ability to motivate and inspire workers despite some inevitable failures along the way.
They openly share their knowledge and teach appropriately even mentoring some with leadership potential.
They network with leaders in similar positions and try to form relationships with humans who may not only be able to help them but also help some of their workers in the present and future.
They know that the strategic business plan should always be a satisfied repeat customer which is the only ultimate strategic consideration. The means to that end is making the company more competitive with more and better information, goods, or services and a more efficient organizational structure.
They genuinely enjoy their leadership responsibilities and the work that that entails.
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BE GOOD ROLE MODELS AND SURROUND YOUR OFFSPRING WITH GOOD ADULT ROLE MODELS AND PROMOTE INTERACTION WITH GOOD ROLE MODEL FRIENDS:
Offspring primarily learn from what you and others do, not say, so try to surround your offspring with humans who are good and are doing good things. Try to keep the exposure to bad role models to a minimum and that includes bad role models in the media.
INTRODUCE OFFSPRING EARLY TO THE KNOWLEDGE AND TOOLS NEEDED IN SCHOOL AND THEIR ENVIRONMENT:
Schooling is of primary importance so start early teaching your preschool offspring the alphabet, words, numbers, and big pictures of wildlife or animals and plants, household objects, and vehicles.
Read them stories about real humans doing interesting things in their environment. Stories about animals and plants, vehicles, and household objects are ideal.
Provide them with crayons, paper, and coloring books followed by colored pencils and paper to do their doodles.
Keep computer interaction to a minimum until they reach school age since early on offspring should be learning about and from their physical environment rather than from a computer screen.
It is best if you can supervise or participate with your offspring doing these things together but a nanny or older offspring can also do this for you.
ENCOURAGE TACTILE INTERACTION WITH THE ENVIRONMENT:
Buy interactive toys such as dolls, animals, action figurines, cars, trucks, trains, building blocks or Legos, and balls.
Brain body coordination is very important in offspring development so expose your offspring to the environment and all the things in it as soon as possible.
SPEND SOME TIME INTERACTING WITH INDIVIDUAL OFFSPRING ALONE:
Each offspring craves individual attention and individual interaction will help you to bond and get to know your offspring’s uniqueness compared to other offspring which you may also have. Conversing with your offspring one on one will further his or her communication skills and knowledge. Ask your offspring many questions and get them into the habit of asking you questions too, especially if you feel there is not much to talk about.
ESTABLISH RULES AND SET LIMITS CREATING SELFCONTROL OVER OFFSPRING’S OWN RESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOR.
Teaching offspring to be selfcontrolled and responsible for their own behavior is important. Obeying rules gives them a sense of security and knowing how far they can go before a vital rule is broken.
Putting away toys before bedtime, personal hygiene, dressing oneself, putting plates and utensils in the dishwasher or sink after finishing eating, and teaching or learning to share with other offspring are vital rules on the way to more independent behavior.
Conflicts over rules can arise and you can assert your parental authority, give in if it is important to the offspring but not so much to you, compromise if both are happy with it, and problem solve where you discuss the situation and reach a consensus or a solution acceptable to both sides.
This is not common parenting procedure but if you can teach your offspring to SCHEDULE their own time by the clock each day such as time with friends, time with homework, time alone, time on the computer, learning something new time, time with a hobby, play time, etc. then they will learn to value their time in life and at work eventually and not be wasteful or inefficient with it.
MONITOR OR SUPERVISE OFFSPRING:
Make sure you know where they are, with whom they are, and what they are doing to make sure they are doing things safely and responsibly.
Promote your offspring’s responsible independence.
Don’t micromanage your offspring’s life during the school years because he or she must learn to ultimately behave independently and responsibly on their own and an overprotective attitude can harm this independence in the long duration.
DISCIPLINE:
If something is illegal, immoral, unhealthy, unsafe, offensive, too expensive, or not the right time, place, and social environment then I won’t let you do that is the right approach and you will be punished with withdrawal of a privilege temporarily and/or a severe scolding if a bad behavior is repeating too often.
Be consistent in your expectations and present a unified front as parents so that offspring do not try to play one parent against the other.
Mommy lets me do this so why don’t you? or Daddy lets me do this so why don’t you?
How to punish and the ideal way of punishing:
The quick way is to just say if you do that again then your punishment will be withdrawal of a privilege, or even a spanking for lying or stealing again for very young offspring. Rarely a belt to the butt for a stealing teenager is necessary if taking away a cellphone or computer privileges does not work.
Ideally you identify the bad behavior, state why it is wrong, give alternative behaviors which are acceptable or may reach the same goals, a clear statement of what the punishment is going to be, and a statement of the expectation that it will not happen again. This approach is for smart educated parents.
Anger is inevitable but try to avoid insults, put downs, name calling, humiliation, and ridicule when it comes to disciplining your offspring.
Consistency in enforcing important rules is very desirable but realize that in the real world, except for immoral behavior, there are always one or two or more exceptions to your rules depending on the time, place, and social environment.
EXPLAIN YOUR RULES AND DECISIONS:
This is very hard to do because for most the reason for the rules and decisions was probably almost never explained by your parents either. So the explanation is that it is ILLEGAL, IMMORAL, UNHEALTHY,UNSAFE, OFFENSIVE, TOO EXPENSIVE, OR NOT THE RIGHT TIME, PLACE AND SOCIAL ENVIRONMENT.
Other possible explanations are that it takes too much parental time, energy, and money or that the offspring is wasting too much time, energy, and money doing something. You are living an inefficient life if you spend too much time, energy, and money on relatively unimportant things.
Another explanation may be that the family has priorities or important things to do or consider and what offspring are trying to do does not fit those important priorities and can basically be considered trivial shit.
A whole book can be written on what is offensive in public, what is offensive behavior to parents, to humans in general, and offensive to certain humans in particular. If an offspring offends either parent then it is probably bad behavior as long as the parent identifies it as being rude, unkind, cruel, mean, insulting, name calling, a put down, humiliation, ridicule, selfish or uncaring, lazy, bragging, messy, arrogant, irresponsible, disrespectful, etc.. Few parents can identify words and match them to behavior successfully so just saying it offends me or someone else should be enough of a reason in most cases when you can’t explain in detail.
One authority figure said a rule and decision must be reasonable, logical, and consistent but frankly there is no definition of reason and logical so this is just stupid intellectual advice or no advice at all.
The best advice is to try and talk about a rule or decision and get the offspring’s point of view. If it makes intuitive sense to the parent then there may be room for compromise or- rule or decision adjustment.
SUMMARY:
In the United States parenting is getting harder and not easier to do in an increasingly immoral and technologically changing society which challenges almost all the accepted rules of behavior or accepted norms, customs, and traditions of society.
Gambling, drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, pornography, deception, lying and irresponsible behavior tempts offspring at every turn and threatens to turn into severe handicapping addictions. Try to isolate very young offspring from these bad influences as long as possible.
If you are a flawed human with too many bad addictions yourself then consider not having any offspring at all who will just practice those same addictions when they grow up. If you are a dysfunctional human then you will be a dysfunctional parent so unless you can get your shit together don’t even think about having offspring before you straighten yourself out first.
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Essentially after a qualified and competent worker is hired a boss’ job is to motivate and support or help the worker to do the job well and with enthusiasm.
BOSSES MOTIVATE WITH THE FOLLOWING TECHNIQUES:
They encourage when reluctance or fear of not being able to do the task is felt,
they maintain an atmosphere of trust so that no worker is overly fearful or dissatisfied with the emotional working environment and feels free to communicate with the boss and say anything that they may feel is relevant,
they are decisive and confident thus giving the worker the courage to do even when the task seems hard and difficult,
they accept occasional worker failure, don’t lose their optimism, and don’t use insults, put downs, name calling, and ridicule to belittle the worker,
they clearly communicate the rules and goals of the company giving confidence, clear guidance and understanding, and a sense of purpose to the worker,
they contribute to the work at hand by participating and working along with the workers at least once in a while to maintain an esprit de corps and don’t just isolate themselves in the office all day,
they are effective listeners and make their workers feel important and respected when they communicate,
the best bosses also have a sense of humor and can tell entertaining stories to perk up workers,
they are thankful or show gratitude so that workers feel that their efforts are appreciated,
they are inspirational and optimistic and give earned praise appropriately thus inspiring workers,
they have an ability to energize their workers when the going gets tough or tedious.
they know how to discipline good workers who are starting to goof off or are no longer doing a good job. This can be done with a threatened firing or pointing out role model workers who are doing the job well or better and thus challenging the wayward worker to do better or get back in shape.
SUPPORT OR HELP IS GIVEN WITH THE FOLLOWING TECHNIQUES:
They acknowledge work well done or give credit where credit is due,
they empower or give the tools and direction necessary to do the job and are good coaches,
they are results oriented and are not out to win a popularity contest if it means a job not well done,
they strengthen the workforce by eliminating bad workers who destroy the incentive to do well and function at optimal efficiency.
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Pause: v. to temporarily stop an action(s) and/or communication(s)
Sometimes when we don’t know what to do next we pause to think about the circumstance and sometimes when we work or do strenuous exercise we pause or take a break to relax.
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Narrative: n. speaking and/or writing a communication of events which often tells a story
A narrative can be true or fictitious and is merely a subset of a story or the story itself.
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Illustration: n. giving an example(s) of written and/or spoken communication with a subset(s) suchas a (picture and/or diagram) and/or chart etc.
There is a popular saying that a picture is worth a thousand words so illustrations are used to efficiently summarize verbal content with pictures, diagrams, charts, graphs, etc.
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Ambiguity: n. a communication having two or more different meanings and/or vague meanings
Ambiguity frequently arises when words have multiple meanings and appear in a communication and potentially cause considerable confusion. Ambiguous phrases can also cause confusion when closely associated and each having a slightly or greatly varying message. Using very vague words can also cause ambiguity.
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Answer: n. a right and/or wrong reaction communicated to a question(s) which may be a (yes and/or no) and/or (conditional and/or noncommittal) reaction
We frequently want right answers to our questions which can be a simple yes or no or it can be a conditional answer or even a noncommittal one. The answers themselves may be conditional with the communication of one or many exceptions which are more accurate an answer than simply yes or no.
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Commend: to give an authoritative award and/or praise frequently as a customary public communication
Most commendations are official awards and/or praise which sometimes become public knowledge and are given for outstanding performance or service to a cause or institution.
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Connect: v. to join together to have access and/or communication
You can connect electronically and communicate with anyone who has a cell phone in the world. Humans also connect personally with other humans so that they have some access to other humans who may be of present and future benefit to them.
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Demeanor: n. outward hopefully honest and/or revealing behavior shown to one being communicated with
Your demeanor is really the way that you present yourself to the world and that includes what you say, do, and how you look or your physical appearance.
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Disprove: v. to prove a subset(s) is untrue frequently with communication helped with (a witness(s) and/or logic) and/or the scientific method)
It is easy to disprove an alleged scientific fact with an experiment which fails but disproving something in politics, society, religion, or daily life is impossible to do with mathematical accuracy because behavior does not follow mathematical rules.
You can use witnesses, logic, evidence, and statistical approximations to try and disprove some alleged fact(s) but ultimately it is up to the person whom you are trying to convince whether his or her opinion or belief will change about an event(s) and/or circumstance with your presented “proof”.
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Glad: v. to be happy because a fact(s) is communicated
Glad and happy mean the same thing unless you define glad as happiness when a fact(s) is communicated. “I am glad that you told me that” is then the appropriate way of saying “I am happy that you told me that”. “I’ll be glad if you show me how to do that” is also an example of being happy when some facts are communicated to you.
“I am thankful that you told me that” or thankful approximates what glad means because there is usually very little emotion associated with communicating facts.
If you don’t like this distinction then don’t use the word glad at all and stick with being happy instead.
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A general analogy applies to old established big businesses and that is that the brain, nerve center, or leadership has become too disconnected from the body parts or business organization, customers, and potential new customers. Two way communication or honest feedback from all the parts and in all parts of the organization is not going on efficiently.
In the fast changing technological era doing things the old fashioned way with a leadership isolated in luxury and surrounded by yes men and women is no longer a guarantee of business vitality and success on into the foreseeable rapidly changing future.
Every hierarchical step in an organization can be considered to be a potential block of vital information filtering through since most want to give you the good news and prefer not to mention the bad things going on. Getting some unbiased information not filtered through leadership eyes is important so some contacts within a department must also be made by the top leadership to encourage honest assessments from the department leader. Every department leader should fear being caught in a lie to a top superior with a truthful revelation from a subordinate of a department leader to that top superior.
The revolutionary approach to leadership is to become more humble or in effect become interested also in the lower level leaders and employees and how they are getting on with the basic customer base of support.
Showing that you are an engaged interested and concerned leader can start with simple steps such as having a cubicle instead of an isolated luxurious office so that employees view you as more accessible and you too can walk the halls so to speak and engage random employees in honest and frank conversations about how things are going and whether anything needs improvement based on their personal assessments.
Business gatherings should be frugal not luxurious affairs with some having suppliers and major customers participate. Social gatherings should include the leadership along with the employees and suppliers and major customers can also be included if practical. A friendly family affair should be emphasized in gatherings rather than a collection of isolated replaceable parts.
Unexpected visits by the leader shows an empathetic concern for what is going on and gives employees a sense that they are not being ignored but that their work or efforts are important and worthy of short discussion. A better sense of corporate identity or esprit de corps develops when the leadership shows an active interest in the basic work and sometimes personal problems of employees.
Not only is an honest exchange of pluses and minuses important in leader to leader conversations but the same should apply to leader employee exchanges too. In effect, leaders should do more careful listening and asking of pertinent questions rather than dominate each conversation primarily advertising their ideology or prowess. No one should fear expressing opposing viewpoints when there is justifiable cause for expressing them before the problem or problems become unmanageable. Too much corporate secrecy results in dysfunctional communication to the detriment of the corporation or business in the long duration.
Innovation can thrive in an atmosphere of open communications and not with selfassured overconfident stubborn leadership which places emphasis on status, materialistic rewards, and promotes a stratified bureaucracy which may require the signature of 5 rather than just one or two humans signing off to get things done.
Decentralization is another key to success. Once you have hired leader number 2 who can replace you if you leave office or once you have hired competent leaders to work under you with their own potential replacements in different departments then a certain amount of autonomy should be given them to run the department as they see fit. Department leaders are closer in touch with the problems and challenges of the department then the top leadership.
Trusting your subordinates to do a good job is vital and that means that you should try to hire leaders with integrity to begin with so that they will not try and hide their failures and complaints and keep you in the dark to the detriment of the organization as a whole.
Misinformation, gossip, prejudices, defamation, and slander interferes with honest sincere dialogue and every effort should be made to exclude toxic untrustworthy individuals from the organization.
The need to innovate products, services, and make efficient reorganization of the workforce possible means that the leadership must keep in touch with competing organizations with cordial and even friendly relationship exchanges. Having a pretty good idea of what your competition is and is doing to innovate can mean the difference between future success or failure for your own organization.
With mobile devices beginning to play such a dominant role in business, optimum efficiency in the future will only possible if major firms begin to cooperate and share their expertise to make mobile device usage pleasant and not a nightmare of connectivity dead ends or problems.
There are many ways to realistically improve communications efficiency and here is a link which in detail shows how to do it:
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Incrimination: n. creating a large implication of guilt in a crime(s) from a communication
Three reputable witnesses without prior grudges against the accused saying that you landed the first punch in an assault and battery case is incriminating evidence.
If mentally stable, confessing to a crime in a court of law after taking an oath not to lie is also a form of selfincrimination with a large implication of guilt sufficient for conviction.
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Indefinite: adj. not accurately communicated and/or limited
An indefinite communication is one which is not accurately communicated and/or limited and there is no understanding of what its purpose is other than perhaps to intentionally or unintentionally confuse and mislead.
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Word Insult On Keyboard
Insult: v. to rudely communicate and/or behave intending to (upset and/or to offend) and/or (to harm mentally and/or to rarely distress) and sometimes the intention is to make you feel inferior
Insults are usually done on purpose and are designed to upset you, offend you, to cause mental harm, or rarely distress you.
Some humans are very sensitive and easily insulted and sometimes unintentional rudeness will even upset and/or offend them.
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Interruption: n. impacting a communication and/or subset(s)’s activity(s) before samer subset(s) has ended the samer communication and/or subset(s)’s activity(s)
A conversation can be interrupted before you are through with it and any activity(s) and/or behavior(s) can also be interrupted before you are done with it.
Some interruptions are rude and unnecessary but others are sometimes necessary to prevent a bad conversation from continuing or a bad activity(s) and/or behavior(s) from continuing with sometimes bad potential consequences.
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Interview: v. to communicate and to interact primarily for getting information from a human(s) and the information is frequently used for qualifying someone for a job and/or position of authority
An interview is sometimes made with a guest who has something relatively interesting to share which is sometimes information of interest to you. Most interviews exist to potentially hire someone for a job and/or position of authority.
Good interviewing is not a skill many have and unfortunately much impulsivity exists during interviews which excludes many potentially competent or qualified humans whose social and communication skills are generally deficient to some degree.
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Intrusion: n. (affecting and/or entering) and/or forcing yourself into another’s (behavior and/or property) and/or communication without permission
An intruder on your property is one who is there without your permission. An intrusion on your communication is also frequently done without your permission.
An intruder can also create an unanticipated change in your behavior which is also frequently done without your permission to do so.
Parental intrusion on the behavior and/or communication of their offspring is not always bad but actually a necessity to avoid potential danger and or bad circumstances from being created.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 2000 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
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Irrationality: n. not using reason and frequently doing a wrong and/or very deviant ((communication(s) and/or behavior(s)) and/or action(s))
You can communicate irrationally, behave irrationally, and start irrational actions done by a machine and/or robot.
Irrational communication frequently starts with too much impulsive relatively random logically unconnected or unusually structured statements and ends by confusing the receiver of the communication(s).
Irrational behavior(s) are very deviant from social norms and are subjectively judged by humans to be crazy, very bad, or socially unacceptable and undesirable.
What someone judges to be irrational may be totally rational to another human because irrationality is frequently impulsively judged without thinking and if enough accurate rational thought went into the judgment process the conclusion or judgment might be in actuality rational and not irrational.
So much human judgment is impulsive about irrationality. Few really stop themselves to think something through logically. Logical reasoning is not the natural state of the human mind so almost all judgments about irrationality are very personally biased and very subjective in nature.
Most true logical or reasoned thinking exists when someone takes time out to think in solitude. However, the real truth is that even in solitude humans who are thinking aren’t thinking logically because there is no educational institute of learning which teaches logical thinking and how to make logical correspondences between badly defined words which have vague and inaccurate meanings themselves.
Try to think logically which means making accurate correspondences. Use vaguely or badly defined words in your thinking process and the result is confusion. Unless you know the logical definition of the words or concepts which you are thinking about the claim to logical or reasoned thinking is a myth or untrue.
The degree to which logical or reasoned thinking is possible is directly proportional to the accuracy of the words and concepts which you are using.
Think with vague and badly defined words and concepts and you are not being logical or using reason to solve problems which need solutions.
Science has succeeded and excels in logical thinking and reasoning because most of the words used are accurately defined and have been verified experimentally to be true.
The exception is theoretical physics which is limited by unknown, vaguely or even inaccurately defined words and concepts.
Lately resorting to analogies as a means of explaining the mythological theoretical physics concepts is a colossal failure with analogies such as “free lunches” ,”worm holes”, “bubble universes” etc. appearing in theoretical physics explanations of concepts to the gullible public. Prove an analogy? Mission impossible!!!!!!
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Laconic: adj. using a relatively minimum amount of spoken words to communicate meaningfulness which frequently implies disinterest
If you are speaking and being brief and to the point and doing so understandably then you may be considered concise, abrupt, or even sometimes rude but rarely laconic.
If you have no or little interest in talking about a subject then you may show it with brief quick unemotional responses using few words with usually broad somewhat vague generalities frequently difficult to understand fully and that is what laconic really means.
There is no such thing as laconic writing because most authors are truly interested in what they are writing about and it is almost impossible to write and convey disinterest throughout a written work.
There is no such thing as a laconic written phrase because you can’t express disinterest in writing unless you qualify it by writing- said laconically or said with disinterest because there is no emotional or feeling word which conveys disinterest. Something boring or dull may imply disinterest within the word itself but is not explicit disinterest.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 2000 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
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Misrepresentation: n. untruthfully and/or deceptively communicating about a subset(s)
Misrepresentation really means lying about something either overtly and/or covertly and making something into what it really isn’t.
Untruths or overt lies and deceptions or covert (hidden) lies which mislead judgments and lead to wrong assumptions about someone are the two basic ways that you can misrepresent someone or something.
There is also relatively innocent misrepresentation which exists when someone believes a myth to be true or believes a lie and/or deception to be the truth. The common human often can’t tell the difference between a popular lie or a clever popular deception and is guilty of hundreds of misrepresentations promoted by society.
Comforting misrepresentations are preferred over uncomfortable truths by the common human and knowing this general truth the leadership promotes the misrepresenting popular propaganda.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1900 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
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Misunderstand: v. to make a wrong assumption(s) about a communication(s)
When you judge the content of a communication inaccurately then you don’t have an accurate understanding of it.
You may not know the meaning of a word or words or you may not judge the intent of the communication accurately, especially if it is a human whom you don’t know that well and don’t understand his or her underlying motivations.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1900 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
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Moderation: n. avoiding extremes in behavior(s) and/or communication(s)
Everything in moderation including moderation is good advice for most humans, especially those that enjoy commitment to extreme lifestyles.
Extreme behavior is frequently risky or dangerous behavior and stretches body and mind to extreme limits which are not good for you in the long duration.
A moderate lifestyle will frequently last a long time with predictable results and an extreme lifestyle will frequently crash and burn rather quickly with unpredictable results.
To progress society needs some extreme risk takers but the smart ones who survive are usually the ones who are quick to adapt or make changes when things seem to go bad or wrong.
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Offer: n. a subset(s) which is shown for voluntary acceptance and/or rejection and/or communicated for voluntary acceptance and/or rejection
It is easy to confuse an offer with a request or a command because the human making the offer would frequently love to command you to take the offer or would like to bluntly request that you accept the offer.
The impulse to say “buy or do it” or “I would like you to buy or do it” is very strong and saying “would you like to buy or do it?” is something which doesn’t come naturally.
Control freaks prefer to command and request and seldom make offers which implies voluntary agreement from you.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1900 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
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Principle: n. a basic generalization that is accepted as true and which can be used as a basis for reasoning and/or a discussion of behavior norms
Eat healthy organic food and get enough exercise are two principles which can keep you healthy and relatively disease free with much energy to live life fully. Add to this the principle-get enough sleep, and your basic minimal human needs are met.
Principles to live by are behavioral principles but there are also scientific principles such as Archimedes principle which predicts which objects will float or sink.
There are ethical principles and moral principles which help you to function effectively in society.
A human without vital principles to live by drifts catastrophically through life encountering much hardship and misery.
Principles can vary greatly from one human to the next but the moral principles don’t lie, don’t steal, and don’t commit adultery should be practiced by everyone who wants to maintain good interactive relationships with other human beings and maintain a good reputation while doing so.
What principles do you believe in and live by? Think about it and then do something to live by them more faithfully.
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Profanity: n. communicating disrespectful words and/or phrases
Profanity is much more prevalent among blue collar workers than white collar workers but it is slowly growing in all areas of society as social norms become more lax and more and more profanity is tolerated.
It may still shock many if a six year old uses motherfucker to address dad and cunt to address mom but this is the ultimate fate of language use if profanity is not censored or it is tolerated everywhere.
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Slander: v. to libel with an untrue aural communication(s)
If you say something untrue about a human then you are guilty of slandering someone.
If the slandered human can prove that their reputation was severely hurt by the slander and if it was recorded in the media then you also have grounds for libel, can sue the offending party, and can be compensated with a money award.
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Slogan: n. a short and memorable communication frequently used in advertising
A catchy phrase or slogan which goes viral is an advertisers dream but relatively few are memorable and truly unique enough to become overnight successes.
Even good slogans sometimes lose their initial impact once they are repeated too often but some have longevity such as “the ultimate driving machine”.
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Story: n. a communication which (uses a series of connected events and/or an interacting human(s)) and the corresponding descriptions are factual and/or fictitious and it is a communication which tries to entertain and/or to inform
A good story will get your point across to the public frequently better than a discussion or a debate. Unfortunately stories these days have to be dramatic, exciting, and entertaining which means that they often depart from reality and are exaggerated excursions into biased propaganda where truth often suffers and subjective emotional reactions reign supreme.
Stories have a tendency to be too verbose which many modern readers have no patience for. The art of story telling will have to undergo a revolution in style if it is to survive the impatience of modern human readers.
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Succinct: adj. communicating meaningfully and/or conceptually using a relatively minimum number of words
Brief and to the point perhaps describes succinct communication the best.
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Tacit: adj. understood and/or inferred without verbal communication but frequently sensed by a minimal gesture(s) and even silence
Tacit approval or agreement is sometimes demonstrated with a smile or a wink but sometimes even silence is enough to indicate that there is no further resistance or disapproval of a course of action and that a leader and the team may proceed as outlined without further discussion or debate.
A parent may say let’s go to eat out and with no resistance to the suggestion there is tacit approval by everyone that indeed everyone will go out to eat.
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Thank: v. to communicate small intensity gratitude
Thanks are reserved for small kindnesses and favors done by humans on a daily basis in public. In private saying “ thank you” or “thanks” is frequently neglected and the polite behavior is very easily forgotten in public also which is a small tragedy for many individuals in each new generation. Each new generation assumes that gratitude is implied and unnecessary but mature polite adults know better and express it in a word or carefully chosen words.
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Taciturnity: n. habitually minimally communicative
A taciturn human is one which usually doesn’t talk much during a conversation and is probably also one who doesn’t enjoy social communication that much.
Being brief and to the point in speech is a business asset but taciturnity implies too little communication which is not good even in business conversations.
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Tact: n. using good social etiquette when interacting with others and avoiding offensiveness during samer interaction
A tactful human does not use harsh criticism, ridicule, put downs, name calling, and insults when someone does something wrong or bad. Instead a tactful human asks questions to determine what the reason for the wrong or bad behavior may have been and then proceeds with an appropriate response which isn’t mean or offending. “I know that you can do better next time” or “I am confident that it won’t happen again” is all that may be needed after a calm discussion of the wrong or bad incident.
A promise never to do something wrong or bad again is a possibility. An offer of help of some kind so that the wrong or bad thing doesn’t happen again is a possibility. An apology may be demanded from the offender as a possibility. An adjustment in work habits may be demanded by an employer. Restitution of some kind may be demanded if the wrong or bad behavior is very bad or very wrong and an apology is not enough of a payback.
Yes, there are also instances when saying nothing or remaining silent may be the best response, especially in the cases of rude behavior or a non winnable argument over something which isn’t that important in the first place.
I was very disappointed, hurt, or inconvenienced by what you did and hope that you will not do it again is one possible response. Another approach is to ask the offending human to do something to make up for the wrong or bad behavior.
For young offspring or offspring in general a threat of privilege removal or grounding may be a better response than an angry assault on the offspring for doing something wrong or bad.
Whatever the situation, try not to start an angry out of control argument about the wrong or bad behavior and try discussing it in a cool and controlled manner to see if you can’t get assurances that it won’t happen again.
No one is perfect and as long as it is not something very immoral such as lying or stealing there is usually a tactful way out of the bad circumstance. For employers firing or a threat of firing someone may not always be the best option to go with if immorality was not committed.
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Eraser changing the word Uncritical for Critical
Uncritical: adj. not communicating with disapproval for too much deviation from normative standards of perfection and/or absolute standards of perfection for a subset(s)
Uncritical is usually used when someone deserves criticism but none is given. Obviously is someone has not done anything wrong or unusual then being uncritical does not make any sense and is never used inappropriately. Do something wrong or bad which you deserve criticism for and you don’t get any then that human is being uncritical.
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Testimony: n. communicating evidence formally and frequently in a court of law
Testimonial: n. a formal communication by an authority figure frequently worthy of respect on the merits of a subset(s)
Most of us know that testimonies are evidence presented in a court of law but there are also testimonials by celebrities and respected humans promoting a human(s), a point of view, or promoting information and/or goods and/or services.
Whether you believe the testimony depends to a large degree on how much trust, respect, and admiration you may have for the individual giving the testimony. If it is a disreputable or controversial human doing the testimonial then the chances are that you will not believe or respect the contents of the testimony that much and may even chose to ignore it.
Reputable moral humans are the source for the best testimony and anyone falling short of this idealized standard should be suspected of some possible deception or even lying.
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If you are not writing business communications then you can be as verbose as you want to be and titillate the emotions along the way to maintain reader interest primarily with personalized story telling.
Business communications must engage the reader’s attention, get to the point quickly, offer him and/or her what they need, answer or predict any possible objections which they may have about your information, goods, or services, and call them to action to buy what they really need and not just want at a reasonable price.
Here is a brief summary of 12 things which you should keep in mind and follow when writing a business communication(s).
Whenever possible catch your reader’s attention by writing a descriptive heading summarizing what the communication is about.
Keep the communication simple, direct, personal, and to the point as much as possible. To keep it as personal as possible use the word “you” frequently.
To get a point across use real situations, real facts, and real examples instead of vague generalities and show how each will benefit the customer in some way or ways.
It must be an honest or truthful communication with no BS.
Use words and language which the reader understands or can relate to. If you must use technical jargon or a buzzword then explain what it means in simple easy to understand language or an understandable explanation.
Focus on customer needs and address all possible objections a customer may have about your information, goods, or services and state why they aren’t anything of great concern.
Point out some of the hopefully small and not large weaknesses which your information, goods, or services have because you will be more trusted and sound professional about your business since no one is perfect in this real world.
Focus more attention on your most popular or best selling items first and emphasize the good deal they are getting price wise.
Use active rather than passive language.
Indicate what previous benefit your customer or other customers may have derived from your information, goods, or services before and only then call them into action to buy something else.
A useful repeated writing structure can sometimes be a lead in, followed by details, fact, and arguments for using the information, goods, or services, and a final summary or conclusion with perhaps a call to action into buying if appropriate.
If you use pictures, videos, or graphics in your presentation make sure that they clearly inform and are not merely there for entertainment purposes.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1600 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
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