Tag Archives: communication

THE TRUTH ABOUT CHATTING+

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Chat: v. to talk abundantly and informally and about relatively unimportant subset(s) and wasting much time and energy

Have you ever been invited to a chat room or over to someone’s house for a chat? If you accept the invitation then you are definitely wasting your time and energy and even money because all energy costs money no matter how small the energy may seem to you.

The sun does not charge us for it’s abundant energy but all other energy on this planet has a price and it takes money to own it.

Chatting is trivial behavior without a useful goal other than to waste your precious time and energy on this precious planet.

Humans with nothing better to do or humans who want to spend their lives doing unimportant things chat.

If you want to do important things with your life then communicate about those important topics, spend time researching those important topics, and you will make progress towards getting to those important goals.

Getting involved in trivia will also make your life more or almost totally trivial and you will find that you have nothing of importance that humans want to talk about or listen to. You will be called boring and uninteresting and someone not worthy of friendship. In effect you become a trivial or chatty personality not worthy of admiration or respect from almost anyone.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

THE TRUTH ABOUT OBFUSCATION+

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Obfuscation: n. hiding the meaning with a deceptive communication which is frequently an over simplification and/or overly complex

Obfuscation is a form of intentional or unintentional deception which means that the communication was either oversimplified or made too complex for true understanding.

Obfuscation is also possible by omission of relevant information or introducing information which sidetracks or has no connection to or relevance to the subject being discussed or talked about.

Encoding is a form of obfuscation meant to confuse anyone reading it.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

THE TRUTH ABOUT REQUESTING+

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Request: v. to communicate a desire for a human(s) to do a subset(s)

Politely asking someone to do something is a request and implied in the desire is your right to refuse the request politely. Asking to take part in a survey, asking for a favor, and asking for help are usually requests which you may fulfill or deny depending on the circumstances.

Excuses or reasons for not fulfilling a request may be many and varied. You may not have the time, you may be busy, it might be an inconvenience to you, or it might simply be something which you don’t feel like doing. All these are valid reasons for not fulfilling a request.

If done properly a human should not be offended or hurt by refusing a request. Sometimes just saying “no thanks” or “no sorry” is enough to turn down a request to do something politely.

There are humans who will take advantage of your good nature and start with little requests which soon build into major ones which can become quite a burden on your time and energy. Most humans don’t like to say no but no is frequently the best solution to someone trying to take advantage of you with too many unnecessary or burdensome requests.

A suggestion may be a veiled request.  The suggestion “Let’s play ball” may actually mean “Please play ball with me” which is really a request. Suggestions are usually easier to turn down than requests and there is a smaller probability that you will offend or hurt someone’s feelings if you say no.

Recommendations can also be veiled requests. The recommendation “I think it is a good time to play ball” may actually mean “Please play ball with me now” which is a request. Recommendations are also easier to turn down than requests and there is less likelihood that you will offend or hurt someone’s feelings if you say no.

Recommendations, suggestions, requests, and other forms of expression all reflect human desires and it requires much communication or social skill to go against those basic desires and say no to them politely so that you don’t offend or hurt someone’s feelings.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

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THE TRUTH ABOUT HUMAN RESOURCE POLICIES+

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There is a little fear about giving employees references when they move on to other jobs or are fired. When fired the provable reasons are undependability, less productivity than required, and bad communication skills or bad teamwork players.

Attendance records and completed tasks are objective standards of evaluation and the subjective parts which don’t have to be proved are communication skills or getting on well with coworkers and/or the boss or manager.

In a good recommendation you merely have to say that they were dependable, productive, team players and the reverse if it is a bad recommendation. Honest communication between employers is desirable and fear of being sued should not be a serious consideration if the reasons are broad or general enough and not specific or arguable reasons.

Timely attendance or punctuality is vital in a retail establishment dependent on customers. If a worker comes in slightly late and spends an hour overtime without pay at the end of the day then rigid punctuality should not be an issue unless there was an important meeting to attend at the very beginning of the work day.

Making a bell curve for employee performance is junk science and not an objective standard of evaluation because the tasks assigned to the employees are not alike and it will just cause unneeded stress in the workplace.  Demanding employees to measure up or to do the impossible or be constantly striving to be at the high end of the bell shaped curve will kill objective just motivation.

Simplistic attempts at disciplining or threatening an employee with three strikes and your out is stupid management. It is possible that after two or even one colossal failure that the employee has to be fired and what also must be considered rationally is whether the failures all occurred in a row or were distributed over a relatively long duration. We all fail sometimes and if it is not frequently enough then it should be no reason for being fired.

Opportunities for advancement should be available within the organization. If you are just a replaceable part always functioning under the same rules then you have no possibility of improvement or advancement and will probably go elsewhere where potential advancement is not only possible but encouraged.

Delegation of authority is one way to accomplish a feeling of movement within an organization so that an employee feels that they are advancing forward in their job career if they have managerial potential. Opportunities for educational advancement or training in skills required in other departments is another possible motivating factor which keeps a job interesting and not in stagnation mode.

There are still many boring repetitive jobs filled by unsatisfied employees but these are not progressive companies with a bright future in this competitive technologically changing business environment.

Obsession with measurement of employee performance with parameters like keystrokes, volume of words used, time spent on subset tasks, time spent doing email or texting, and other senseless parameters or variables is never going to be a foolproof method of evaluating employee performance. As a manager more time should be spent worrying about how to motivate properly with emotional intelligence rather than on micromanaging details and keeping track of minutiae.

An employee will either be efficient or inefficient in how they work and your job is to motivate the efficient ones and get rid of the inefficient ones sooner rather than later after they have done too much damage to the organization and employee esprit.

Good business management and hiring is knowing the difference between technical expertise, a well defined structured job, teamwork human skills, and job experience.

If there is no job experience then there should be some kind of mentoring program within a company to in effect apprentice the new employee.

When hiring a manager emotional intelligence is of primary importance although the best of both worlds is one with emotional intelligence and good technical knowledge or skills. Managing technicians with emotional intelligence alone is bad company policy and business survival in the long run will not materialize.

The technical expert will play an increasingly important role in the businesses of tomorrow and the probability is great that many will be introverted, have little emotional intelligence, have mediocre language skills, and not be very fond of idle chit chat.  Managing them will be very challenging but it can be done. Even your average employee will probably have relatively poor communication skills because of so much time spent on social media and cell phones.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1200 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

THE TRUTH ABOUT RIDICULE***

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Ridicule: v. to use communication intended to shame and/or to cause contemptuous laughter

Stupidity, craziness, bad appearance, deviant behavior, and other human weaknesses like compulsive shopping are ridiculed and this can really hurt your feelings of selfworth and cause shame in the short duration. 

Ridiculing among offspring starts early with name calling designed to put you down and somehow elevate your own sense of superiority or selfworth. Offspring do not like to be laughed at and neither do adults who frequently get seriously offended.

Ridiculing humans in general is why we frequently laugh at comedian’s jokes because they point out the stupidity, craziness, and human weaknesses in society which may or may not apply to us too. Ridicule seems acceptable to many in society as long as they are not the one being laughed at or ridiculed.

Laughing at yourself for doing something stupid, crazy, or deviant is good therapy because the alternative is feeling unhappy and depressed by your bad behavior. Making fun of yourself when you deserve it helps others to realize that you are just human with your own personal imperfections and they will empathize with you more than if you try to deny your obvious failings.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1200 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

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THE TRUTH ABOUT SCOLDING***

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Scold: v. to communicate punishment for a bad and/or wrong behavior(s) frequently with anger and/or being judgmental and sometimes with threats of punishment

Many parents frequently scold offspring. They have made a usually impulsive judgment that the offspring have done something bad and/or wrong and express their disapproval in a rather angry punishing tone of voice.

Sometimes the scolding is accompanied with threats of punishment to create a little fear so that the behavior is not repeated again another time. For very young offspring threatened punishment may be a spanking for very serious offenses such as fighting, stealing, and lying if isolation techniques don’t work but for older ones threatening to withdraw a privilege is a perfectly acceptable threat.

Unfortunately this scolding behavior is sometimes used on adults and teenagers with undesirable consequences because many adults and teenagers don’t want to be treated like a child and criticized in an angry tone of voice which frequently leads to arguments and defensive actions for such unjust treatment.

If you are smart then you will limit your scolding to young offspring once in a while when they really deserve a punishing angry tone of voice for doing something really very bad and/or wrong.

Judgmental anger expressed verbally is not only highly aggressive bordering on violence but it is a form of punishment which adults and teenagers frequently rebel against. If you add to your anger and threaten an adult with punishment then it will only make the reaction more rebellious and angry. Don’t scold adults and teenagers but try to frequently discuss disagreements and problems without an angry tone of voice.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1200 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

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THE TRUTH ABOUT RECOMMENDATIONS***

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Recommendation: n. communicating approval of a subset(s) and to desire that others also (approve and/or help) and/or do the subset(s)

You have probably recommended a product or a human to solve a problem or even recommended that someone take your advice or agree with your opinion. If we approve of something or think it will help then we frequently recommend it.

Testimonials by celebrities are recommendations that you buy something and are frequently successful if they are admired and respected by humans.

Most recommendations are successful if the humans making them are trusted and maybe even admired by humans. Sometimes a recommendation is accepted because we feel that the human has expertise in a subject area and we need some guidance there.

If we disrespect or don’t trust a human then we frequently don’t take their recommendation because we don’t believe it will benefit us.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1100 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

THE TRUTH ABOUT QUESTIONS***

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Question: v. to do a communication which usually requires a relevant information reaction or answer and is frequently used (to test the knowledge about a subset(s) and/or to test the willingness of a subset(s)) and/or to test the probability of a human(s) doing an event(s)

Why do we ask questions?

We ask questions to find out information, to determine the willingness of a human to do something, to find out what a human will do in the near future or has done in the past, and to probe the knowledge that a human has on a given subject. Sometimes we just ask questions to keep a conversation going or to switch to another subject.

Tests have questions and are designed to test our knowledge about something with the answers that we give rightly or wrongly.

Interviews are really the art of asking the right questions to get informative and/or entertaining answers.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1100 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

THE TRUTH ABOUT REQUESTS***

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Request: v. to communicate a desire for a human(s) to do a subset(s)

When you ask someone to do something it is a request and it can be done politely or it can even be a formal communication in writing asking you to do something. Requests are not commands and you usually have the option of refusing the request.

Polite refusal is frequently necessary to avoid hurt feelings such as a request to attend a wedding which is refused politely due to some more pressing commitment. Refusing a request is properly done by coming up with a realistic or believable excuse or just saying- “Sorry, I can’t do it.”

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1000 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

THE TRUTH ABOUT RAMBLING***

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Ramble: v. to do a subset(s) randomly and largely impulsively without a transient goal(s)

If you impulsively talk and talk about random topics with seemingly no logical connection or if you just talk on and on with no seeming beginning or end then you are rambling.

Rambling can confuse you and/or it can bore you and it is frequently a symptom of talking too much and not having anything of importance to say.

 Rambling body movements are largely impulsive random movements where you are seemingly behaving like a crazy person doing one thing after another without really moving and knowing what movement will come next. You could perhaps also call it spontaneous serial random behavior.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1000 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

THE TRUTH ABOUT BOASTING***

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Boast: v. to communicate excessive selfimportance and/or pride

Using superlatives to describe your accomplishments may sometimes seem like boasting but some humans actually do a great or superb job once in a while. What really separates the boaster from a truthful comment is the tone of voice which selfpraise is made and how frequently it is done. If you repeat selfpraise much then it can also be thought of as a sign of boasting.

“I manage 50 humans” may merely be a fact of life and not a boast unless the tone of voice is a boastful manner or you repeat the fact about three or more times in a short duration. “I always win” and “I am never wrong” may seem like a boast or a lie or both. Humility is frequently preferred by humans to boasting but a little boasting can also sometimes be considered to be a sign of selfconfidence so it is not always totally bad.

Evergreen truth blog may seem like boasting to some of you but I prefer to view it as a sign of somewhat excessive selfconfidence.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1000 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

4 THINGS A GOOD LEADER MUST LIKE!!!

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A leader must like responsibility.

A leader must like responsibility and know how to surround him or herself with responsible workers. A leader must like honesty, dependability, competence, efficiency, and trustworthiness which makes responsible behavior possible. The buck stops at the leader and he or she gets most of the credit for success or most of the blame for failure. Rewarding or punishing workers appropriately for success or failure is vital to responsible leadership. Sometimes the punishment can be as little as saying -“I know you can do better next time.”

A leader must like communication with humans.

A leader must have emotional intelligence and be able to effectively communicate with workers and motivate them on both the emotional and physical level. A leader knows how to listen carefully to what the workers have to say and gets feedback from them before a job, during the job, and after the job by asking appropriate questions which monitor work performance. You must know how to provide your workers with proper emotional support, material support, and personnel support to get each job done properly or successfully.

A leader must like to solve problems.

Having the right skills, knowledge, and experience with similar problems is vital to leadership and liking to apply these skills to new problems is a sign of competent leadership. Planning ahead and anticipating problems before they happen will frequently save much time and money and maybe avoid many relatively minor problems in the process. Being skilled at researching an issue which is new or unusual and may need a different approach is sometimes vital. Problems are solved with the right skills, knowledge, and experience and the solution is to acquire them or to find humans who already have them in abundance and let them do some of the problem solving for you.

A leader must like learning from and correcting mistakes.

Some leaders make mistakes and don’t learn from them or don’t learn how to correct them by trying again and doing the same thing a little differently. I will not change because I have done this successfully for the past 20 years without failure is a narrow minded philosophy which few innovative leaders can afford in the fast changing technological 21st century. A good leader who makes a mistake will not try to hide from it but openly admit to making it, learn from the mistake, and try to change his or her behavior so that it doesn’t happen again. A good leader views a mistake as a challenge to do better the next time.

 Finally a confident leader is a good leader but one with a confident workforce is a great leader!!! Developing a competent and confident staff is an outstanding accomplishment.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1000 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

THE TRUTH ABOUT NEGOTIATIONS***

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Negotiation: n. communicating with the goal(s) of getting an agreement(s)

Negotiations where agreements are achieved are frequently compromises or cooperative efforts or both. A compromise is frequently where both sides get something that they want but not everything that they want. A cooperative effort is where both sides contribute something towards a common goal(s).

Both nations may want just trade as a goal but each side may want to protect a vital industry from competition by a big business in the other country. The solution may be putting tariffs on the vulnerable valued industry and let others justly compete in the marketplace.

In a divorce case one may want more custody rights and the other may want more alimony and the compromise is frequently one paying more alimony and getting more visitation rights for it.

A new family car may be too expensive for one spouse to buy but if they pool resources or each contributes money from their paycheck then the purchase of a new vehicle is possible. This is an example of a cooperative effort to reach a common goal.

Whether it is a family negotiation or a negotiation between nations you either compromise or cooperate or do a little of both.

In some negotiations one side gets everything that they want and the other side does not hoping perhaps that in the next negotiation they will come out on top or be the winner. In family situations there are sometimes winners and losers but the real winner is usually the family unit as a whole.

Most negotiations result in compromise agreements where each side gets something that they want but neither side usually gets all that they want out of the agreement. It is a win some lose some proposition for both sides rather than a win and lose situation for one side versus the other.

Rights to property, rights to offspring in divorce cases, rights to sharing property, and rights to one’s time, energy, and effort can all be subjects of negotiations. It helps to be empathetic and as truthful as possible so that the negotiation is not just a one time winning proposition for the deceptive side resulting in an absence of trust and good faith the next time around. A successful mutually beneficial negotiation can open doors to further negotiations in the future if true compromises are reached.

Sometimes negotiations may be a win win situation for both sides if the sides agree to give everything the other side wants for a fixed amount of time. One side may totally win for the first 6 months and the other side may totally win for the next six months but usually such an agreement is not a permanent solution to a long duration problem.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1000 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

THE TRUTH ABOUT LIBEL***

libel

Libel: n. willfully and fraudulently stealing the good reputation of a human(s) and/or organization with an untrue recorded public communication(s)

If someone untruthfully writes that you are a liar, a thief, an adulterer, a fraud, or a drug addict and publishes this then they have committed a fraud and can be punished for it in a court of law with a fine. Organizations are sometimes also falsely accused of being liars or frauds and the cases have been brought to court and adjudicated.

Scandal publications can print untruths, lies, or hearsay about public figures and politicians and sometimes get away with it because libel laws sometimes exclude untrue publications about celebrities. Some lies are so outrageous that no one takes them seriously. One scandal sheet published that Dick Cheney is a robot on the front page. The lie is so outrageous and maybe even entertaining that no one takes it seriously and it does not constitute libel.

Defamation or slander can also be verbal lying but frequently a public apology, retraction, or an admission to making a mistake frequently gets the offender pardoned and they are not prosecuted in a court of law for lying.

Businesses, organizations, and corporations are also interested in maintaining a good reputation and if a major publication libels them and it severely affects their reputation then they are frequently sued in a court of law.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1000 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

THE TRUTH ABOUT INTRUSION***

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Intrusion: n. affecting and/or entering another’s (behavior and/or property) and/or communication without permission

You may try to break up a fight, trespass, or interrupt a conversation or communication without permission. If you do so then you are intruding in someone’s behavior, property, or communication without permission.

An intruder or intrusion frequently does not belong where he or she or a bot is intruding.

A commercial is frequently not considered an intrusion but that is exactly what it is because if you had a choice then you would prefer the commercial not to be shown on your private TV, cell phone, or computer.

Telephone calls and emails or texting from friends is not an intrusion because it has your permission but if the telephone call is from a telemarketer or political party and if an email or texting is from a stranger or unsolicited business establishment then it can be considered to be an intrusion which is commonly called spam.

Advertisers are desperate for your attention and you can look forward to a lifetime of unsolicited intrusions on your privacy on social media, the cellphone, and computer. Click on something that interests you momentarily and tolerate never ending intrusions which result from that seemingly innocent click!!!

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1000 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

THE TRUTH ABOUT ACCUSATIONS***

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Accusation: n. communicating a belief in the guilt and/or culpability of a human(s)

Have you ever been accused of bad, immoral, or illegal behavior and not been guilty? That is frequently the way that arguments start followed by bad feelings or resentment for being wrongly accused.

At some or many points in our lives many of us have been accused of lying, meanness, rudeness, inconsideration, laziness, tardiness, neglect, stupidity, craziness, incompetence, boastfulness, gluttony, greediness, lust, making a mistake, and jealousy. Some of us have been accused of addictions to gambling and drugs and some have been accused of stealing and adultery which are moral and legal transgressions.

Criminal accusations or accusing one of breaking the law is obvious but for all other accusations we automatically go into defensive mode, say nothing at all and ignore the accusation which sometimes implies admission of guilt, try to fight back and deny the veracity of the accusation, calmly try to discuss the validity of the accusation, or admit that we are wrong and maybe promise that it won’t exist again or say that we will try to improve.

Arguments frequently start with accusations by one human and an emotionally intense defensive reaction by the other human. Be sure that when you accuse someone that they are really guilty as charged and that you have personally witnessed it or that you have some proof and hopefully proof from a trustworthy witness. Better yet ask them a question which will lead to a better understanding of whether they realize that what they have done is indeed bad and something which they may want to change in the future.

Some bad and even immoral personalities such as liars are incorrigible. Once you discover this then try to exclude them from your life as much as possible or just ignore them as much as possible if you have to live with them to some extent.

Culpability: adj. being guilty without formal proof

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1000 so far, and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

THE IDEAL: A WORLDWIDE BILL OF RIGHTS FOR THE INTERNET OR WEB!!!

internet

Relatively easy communication with anyone on the planet is an ideal goal which may not be realized in your lifetime. The reality is that internet freedoms are being quickly eroded by governments and rich internet providers or corporations. What we sorely need is standardized laws or a bill of rights for internet use so that even the poorest among us have an opportunity to safely roam the web and interact rather freely with the humans in it and the wealth of knowledge or information which exists in it.

Here is a Ted link which identifies internet problems and how we may potentially solve them for the benefit of almost everyone and not just the few and wealthy and politically powerful.

http://www.ted.com/talks/tim_berners_lee_a_magna_carta_for_the_web

For starters here are a few rights which I would recommend:

A right to freely access scientific papers more than a year old.

A right to freely access medical research and clinical trials more than a year old.

A right to freely access bank IRS statements more than a year old.

A right to freely access IRS statements of corporations with a net worth of 10 billion dollars+ and which are more than a year old.

A right to freely access the IRS records of politicians and their relatives which are more than a year old.

Follow the money and there is a possibility of weeding out corruption in society and keeping it to a minimum!!!!!! Good knowledge is also power so open source information in science, medicine, and agriculture or food is vital to a healthy smart society.

 

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1000 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

THE TRUTH ABOUT LISTENING

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Listen: v. to try to remember and/or consider a communication and permit the communicator to end a communication subset(s) before reacting

Frequently humans don’t like to be interrupted when talking and it is considered rude but there are smart ways of interrupting or trying to change the topic if the communication doesn’t seem to have an important point or if it is getting too lengthy. You can try changing to a new topic, delay the conversation for another time, or try to summarize what has been said so far and end the conversation prematurely.

If you have the luxury of time then you can listen to everything which is being said, briefly summarize what has been said, and ask follow up questions if necessary. This way the speaker will feel that their opinions and ideas have been respected even if you give short and sweet replies and don’t motivate the speaker to speak further.

In business where time is important being a good listener rather than a good talker is more important and all you have to really give is short and sweet replies. You will be more respected and appear smarter by being brief rather than by trying to impress someone with your wealth of knowledge and speaking longer than they do.

In relationships if you do less talking and really listen then you will be better able to understand their emotional state and the points which they try to communicate to you. Your responses will be more relevant and the quality of the conversation should improve.

I may be called biased but based on personal experience I feel that most women like to talk more than men and frequently want to share their emotional social experiences in sometimes dramatic and lengthy ways. An emotional talkative woman is a fact of life which most males have to live with or adapt to.

I have learned much in life by listening and reading what others have to say and have learned to be very selective in what I read and whom I ask questions to and about what topics.  

After a lifetime of wading through much verbosity, deception, and lies a headline is all that I have to read to know if the content interests me. I only enjoy talking to professionals from whom I can extract new valuable information and insights.

My never ending quest for truth and useful knowledge goes on. Some may accuse me of verbosity or excessive talkativeness for writing about 800 blogs in a year and a half but those are the fruits of a lifetime of logically analyzing and recording important information about nature and human and social behavior.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 800 so far, and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially  COMMON SENSErays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

THE TRUTH ABOUT INTERRUPTION

interruption

Interruption: n. impacting a communication and/or subset(s) before a human is done with the samer communication and/or subset(s)

We have all been interrupted while doing something or saying something and we are seldom pleased with the interruption, especially if it is something which we are really enjoying doing or saying.

Sometimes if the news is good or we are doing something rather uninteresting we don’t mind the interruption.

Boring verbose speakers frequently have to be interrupted even though it may not seem polite because they may be a valued customer or relative.

You should be a good listener more than a good speaker to show respect but even listening has its limits and changing to a different subject, ending a conversation, or postponing a conversation for a later date is sometimes the smart thing to do.

“Excuse me” or “Sorry for the interruption” should precede most interruptions with humans other than family.

Texting and emails can’t be interrupted but you can speed read through them if they don’t seem that important to spend your valuable time on them.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 800 so far, and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

THE DESTRUCTIVE POWER OF SOME ABUSIVE WORDS!!!

Verbal-Abuse-Poster-in-print-532x710

Excellent blog which dramatically shows the destructive beast that language can be when wrong stereotypes and name calling are used to label humans.

http://kindnessblog.com/2014/05/22/these-shocking-photos-show-the-scars-you-cant-normally-see-and-theyre-horrifying/comment-page-1/#comment-15672

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 800 so far, and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

Enjoy!!!!!!

THE TRUTH ABOUT DISCUSSION

Group-Discussion-Tips

Discussion: n. communicating much about a subset(s) which may or may not lead to a goal(s) and/or judgment(s)

Discussion is definitely preferable to angry confrontation when it comes to solving problems or just talking about an important subject.  Some subjects are relatively easy to discuss because there is no emotional commitment or strong opinions but it is frequently not easy to discuss subjects such as politics, religion, and sports where we may have some strong differing opinions and may get terribly upset if our views or opinions are challenged.

Discussion also means that you are a good listener and pay attention to what the other human is trying to communicate and successfully reading his or her attitude or emotional commitment to the subject being discussed. 

Another important aspect of discussion is being able to ask questions and gaining a deeper understanding of the point of view of the human whom you are discussing with. 

Empathizing with another’s point of view and frequently praising the point of view if it has merit will increase the probability that the human will also empathize with your point of view and hopefully listen intently. 

If the subject is a highly emotional one then it may be advisable to wait until the emotions die down and then try to discuss the subject with a cool head. When emotional outbursts have run their course or have died down then that is the time to start discussing what caused the outburst and whether there is anything which can be done to prevent future outbursts.

When trying to discuss problems and find solutions it is important to state the problem in words, communicate one or more ways of possibly solving the problem, and then mutually agreeing on a course of action to solve the problem. If the problem seems to have no solution then a little research into the situation may be necessary or an opinion from an expert or third party in the field being discussed may help.

Facts backing up an opinion, prior experiences, and opinions from other humans will frequently help a discussion proceed successfully if there seems to be a deadlock and neither side seems to know what to do.

Group discussions are more difficult  to control and can end in confusion if no one is in charge of leading the group discussion. Everyone should be given an opportunity to contribute something to the discussion and a leader is frequently needed to break up deadlocks when and if they occur. In groups there are frequently one or two leaders who want to do most of the talking and offer most of the suggestions on what to do so the main leader has the responsibility of managing the ego’s of the participants and giving each one just representation in the discussion.

Discussion is a learned skill and you frequently get better at it as you age and have a wealth of information and life experiences to rely upon when making decisions in life.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, approximately 700 so far, and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

Enjoy!!!!!!

THE TRUTH ABOUT CENSORSHIP

google-censored

You can’t publish anything which you want and do anything which you want and the forbidden publication or behavior is what is censored.

There are libelous publications which can unjustly ruin a human’s reputation and there is child pornography which most societies censor. In totalitarian countries political free expression is also censored and you can’t write articles criticizing the leadership. Profanity is also frequently censored in the public media.

There is no pure freedom of speech in society because publishing untruths or lies about someone who is not a public official can ruin a good reputation and severely hurt someone’s ability to make a living in society.

Military secrets are also censored which would compromise national security if they became public knowledge.

Government censors some political activities of government committees from the public where special deals are made favoring some special interests and this can be considered a bad form of censorship. Open source government would go a long way towards making government less corrupt but the politically powerful factions and politicians are generally against such sunshine public activity.

The internet is being censored to try and exclude criminal behavior such as terrorist plots and stealing of money, intellectual property, and identities. The censorship which is not so obvious is search engines with algorithms which favor information published by financially well off corporations and websites and exclude many small websites from easy access.

Search engines like Google and Bing are in fact powerful censors who have incredible control over what is published and how it is published frequently favoring the rich and powerful over the poor humans.

Privacy or keeping personal information from public view is becoming increasingly difficult if you use the internet. Soon your communications, medical records, and financial transactions may become public knowledge. Only the rich will be able to keep their lives private with encryption communications which will be harder to steal unless you are the NSA with government backing and have the ability to decode the communications.

Finally government tries to censor criminal behavior by passing laws which are then enforced by the legal system and police.

CONCLUSION:

The rich and powerful will always find ways to keep their private information from public view through self-censorship. Whether common humans can maintain their privacy is an open question right now.

Censoring the internet to some extent is necessary but the real question is- Who will be in a position to censor and what kind of controls or safeguards will there be against unjust censorship by the rich and powerful financial interests and government?

 

If you liked this evergreen blog read more of them, about 700 so far, and read one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE, truth in a human world filled with lies and deceptions.

Enjoy!!!!!!

QUESTIONS WHICH ARE BETTER THAN FUNNY OR CLEVER PICKUP LINES!!!

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You look great. I would like to know you better if you’re single like me?

Excuse me, are you single like me?

Excuse me, do you have 30 seconds of free time? I’m interested and single.

Hi. My name is___ and I am interested in you if you’re single like me?

You caught my eye and I would like to know if you’re single like me?

 

If you find out the person is not single then you could sometimes ask them-Do you have any single friends? It may seem like you are a little desperate but as the old saying goes- nothing ventured, nothing gained.

 

Sometimes indirect questions can be used without using the word single in the first sentence.

 

Excuse me, where did you buy that nice outfit?

Excuse me, are you from out of town?

I’ve seen you before. Do you live in ___ or here?

Do you come here often?

 

You can also start out with a statement and follow it up with questions.

 

Excuse me, I would like to spend a few minutes getting to know something about you.       Follow this up with questions such as- Are you single? What do you like to do the most? What do you hate the most? Are you employed? etc.

 

 

Remember an honest, sincere, to the point question preceded by excusing yourself first is the polite way to introduce yourself to someone who is a total stranger.

 

Almost everyone likes to be flattered a little so you can start off by giving a sincere not overly inflated compliment for looks. That’s an attractive outfit. Are you single like me? She or he may be beautiful or handsome but not using the superlative will make them think that you are interested in more than just their beauty or handsomeness and maybe even feel a little perplexed why you didn’t instantaneously call them beautiful or handsome since that is the standard response which they get from most humans.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, approximately 600 so far, and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

Enjoy!!!!!!

 

THE TRUTH ABOUT EFFICIENCY

images

In physics efficiency is defined as energy used per unit time and human efficiency is the energy and matter or material used per unit time doing a task or some behavior.

If you are an efficient communicator then you will use the least amount of words or material (stored energy) in the shortest period of time to get your message across. If you are an efficient worker then you will do your work or task with the least amount of material (stored energy) and the least amount of steps in the shortest time possible.

Nature is very efficient and usually uses the least amount of energy and matter to communicate, locate food, and reproduce.

Society on the other hand with humans functioning in it communicates inefficiently with an inefficient language and conveys or teaches knowledge inefficiently mired in huge quantities of rather useless information. Many jobs are done inefficiently, travel is inefficient, manufacturing is inefficient, housing is inefficient, and many are leading rather inefficient lives with much random behavior designed to be entertaining but wasting much time, energy, and money in the process.

From 40 to 50% of the food grown and harvested is wasted in the United States and my guess is that material waste is probably a higher percentage judging by the incredible amount of garbage in landfills.

Manufacturing and technology pollutes the environment but a major cause of excessive pollution is human inefficiency and impulsive largely random behavior which consumes raw materials and energy very inefficiently causing much more pollution than necessary.

Look at the clutter in your house when it piles up and you may not realize that most of it was obtained with impulsive buying. There are probably many things which you rarely use or won’t use again and should never have been bought in the first place.

The arts and liberal arts education is very inefficient with vague goals, a real time waster, and brainwashes too many humans into leading inefficient lives which have little survival value for human civilization and is devastating biodiversity in the process.

Humans are too removed from nature and true moral living and the result is screwed up lives and a screwed up environment. It should be immoral for humans to be inefficient since nature frequently punishes the inefficient with death which is a harsh judgment of inefficient behavior. You may not realize it but nature is judging us harshly for our inefficiency with growing pollution levels on a yearly basis which is slowly poisoning this and future generations and what we will have is more sick, unhealthy, and dying humans in the foreseeable future.

Who is judging the immoral inefficient behavior of humans? Almost no one, since humans are myopically obsessed with themselves, largely removed from nature, and think that almost any human behavior is acceptable as long as it has some historical precedent.

If you locate inefficiency in society and try to do something to make it more efficient then you are on solid moral ground and to be commended.

Technology may eventually put many liberal arts majors on the unemployment line or force them to reeducate themselves in a more efficient relevant job for the 21st century and save humanity from repeating the error of living mythological historically inefficient lives. Historical inefficiency is trying to repeat itself and we should do everything in our powers to change the suicidal tendency of past civilizations with the help of technology used to benefit humanity and not destroy it.

Living by my suggested moral code which includes efficiency and the saving of biodiversity will also greatly help future generations as two of the necessary 6 worldwide commandments. Yes, traditional morality is also highly inefficient and taught inefficiently. It needs serious updating or restructuring.

https://uldissprogis.com/2013/06/30/33-ways-to-simplify-your-life-or-make-it-more-efficient-satisfying-and-happy/

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, approximately 600 so far, and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

Enjoy!!!!!!

THE TRUTH ABOUT COMMUNICATION

key-to-communicate

In good communications you should be a good listener first and really pay attention to what someone is saying and feeling. Humans will feel respected if you listen to them and don’t rudely interrupt or cut them off. After listening carefully you can follow up with some questions to probe more deeply what the human is trying to say or convey and how they feel about the issue.  

Try to empathize with whom you are talking to. You will better understand where they are coming from and how they feel about an issue. You can then answer in a competent and hopefully concise way and maintain a flowing conversation giving emotional support if necessary or give advice which you may feel is useful.

The success of many conversations not only depends on how smart you are or your IQ but on your EQ or emotional quotient or emotional smarts. Humans generally make impulsive decisions based on their feelings about an issue and not so much the logical consequences or the facts. Understanding that emotions are frequently more important in a conversation and must be dealt with first is a fundamental fact of successful human communication, especially if you are in a leadership position and must also get emotional support for your decisions.

You should keep arguments to a minimum in a good conversation and unless your beliefs are almost identical then you should leave hot topics like politics, religion, and sports alone and discuss them rarely if at all. In any conversation you will find differing opinions and beliefs and sometimes the smartest thing to do is to accept differing opinions and beliefs and not try to change them unless they will impact you in a very bad way.

Gossiping or spreading unproven bad facts about a human is not a very good thing to do and if you find that whom you are talking to is a gossiper then you should keep at a healthy distance from them because they may spread an untrue rumor about you in the foreseeable future which may hurt your reputation.

If a conversation is becoming repetitive or boring switch topics and if that doesn’t work then cut the conversation off for another time and proceed to do something more constructive.

Conversation should not waste your time and if you find that it seems to have no useful purpose or that it is mostly about random unimportant things then don’t waste your time and cut it short.

Communication is different whether you are talking to your children, spouse, relatives, friend, boss, employee, or casual acquaintance.

With your children you are probably more of an authority figure or the boss who knows what is frequently good for them. You expect them to behave in a certain way or you take away their privileges or punish them in some way if they misbehave.

With your spouse you may be very laid back or casual and feel free discussing almost any topic which enters your head. You should have an honest, sincere, and reliable or trustworthy relationship so that you can share some secrets or personal feelings which would cause you trouble if the secrets or opinions became public knowledge.

Not only should your spouse be someone whom you trust with sensitive information but they are someone with whom you can share your innermost feelings and know that they will understand you and give you moral or emotional support if necessary. Realize that many times your female spouse may be looking mostly for emotional support or empathy and not really want advice on how to solve her problems.

Communicating with a close friend is almost like a marriage where you basically trust one another with sensitive information and you may discuss some male or female issues or topics which you may not even share that intimately with your spouse. Some close friends can even be a source of good marital advice if both of you are in generally happy marital relationships.

Business conversations or etiquette is a complex specialty but even here listening intently with empathy and answering in short and concise ways is a good general rule of thumb to follow.

On a first date you may not want to reveal a serious health problem or a dysfunctional family but if you want a serious honest, sincere, and reliable or trustworthy relationship to develop then you will eventually have to reveal your bad circumstances and it is better to do so before marriage than after it.

Social media and texting is rapidly changing how we communicate with each other and is taking much of the emotion out and permitting more exclusive brief communications. Some may feel that it is dehumanizing conversation. I feel that it is making communication more rational and concise and will benefit almost everyone in the long duration.

Finally most women like to talk more than men so if you find out that a woman is talking much more than you then don’t stress about it but accept it as a common natural cultural phenomenon.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, approximately 600 so far, and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

Enjoy!!!!!!

THE TRUTH ABOUT ARGUING

couple-arguing

Arguing is a form of verbal fighting where each side tries to dominate, win, or force the other into submission. Arguing starts in childhood with arguments about who’s turn it is, who is stronger, who is stupid, or who has the strongest or best dad or mom.

Unfortunately these largely illogical confrontations exist on into adulthood for humans who have not learned to calmly talk out, discuss, and sometimes compromise about life’s problems, situations, and differing opinions.

Adult arguments frequently lead to name calling, bad feelings of being offended, abused, wrongly criticized, or unjustly attacked. This sometimes even causes vengeful feelings or wanting to get back at and punish the offender in some way.

Arguments are inevitable in most relationships and the important thing to keep in mind is that if you were the unjust aggressor then you should apologize and say that you are sorry. Sometimes you can try to make up for the bad confrontation in some way by doing something nice or promising that you will not argue about the same thing again.

A confrontational language with a bias for yes or no, love or hate, and right or wrong communications prevents many from stopping and LISTENING CAREFULLY to each other and asking some logical questions. By calmly discussing you may actually find out that neither of you is totally wrong or right but that each has a valid point of view and that compromise or accepting another’s point of view is sometimes a logical acceptable way out.

CONCLUSION:

Arguing is childish fighting and adults should learn to communicate with almost no fighting at all for best results and healthy relationships. Listen carefully to each point of view, calmly ask some follow up questions, and discuss the situation in an adult way. When you do argue then apologize if you are the aggressor and have hurt another’s feelings or attacked another’s beliefs or opinions unjustly.

Argument:  n. very intense sensory disagreement

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, approximately 600 so far, and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

Enjoy!!!!!!

THE TRUTH ABOUT LANGUAGE

language-wards

Language and a common morality unite humans so that peaceful interaction is possible within the language group. Unfortunately different languages and even different dialects divide humans and severely reduce the probability of peaceful interactions between different groups of humans. Different languages and dialects are the source for much prejudice, biased provincialism, excessive national myopic pride, excessive ethnic pride, and unjust stereotyping of other language groups. Different language groups handicap political unity and a single language promotes political unity.

Traditional historic use of language perpetuates mythology, is overly emotional, has overly complicated grammatical rules, and the words have illogical definitions whose vague meaning promotes unintentional lying and unintentional deceptions which corrupt moral communications and cause much too much dysfunctional emotionally biased communication between humans. Historical language usage does a bad job of promoting understanding between humans and between humans and their leaders.

Yes, the illogical definitions and synonyms which mean the same thing encourage deceptive behavior between humans and between the leadership and led. They promote leadership and public stupidity.

Politicians use an emotional appeal with almost no logical reasoning which incorporates fear, anger, love, and hate to motivate the gullible public. Many human relationships are also burdened with a heavy dose of illogical emotion where fear, anger, love, and hate play a dominant role in impulsive emotional interactions which cause much stress and unnecessary angry confrontations.

Nature uses language very efficiently and it is time to update language and make it a more efficient communication tool for the benefit of the world.

The solution is my evergreen truth book SCIENTIFIC THESAURUS which simplifies the language so that everyone graduating elementary school will be language literate and even the poorest citizens will no longer be called stupid because they will be using a smart logical language. Yes, humans will still do stupid things in their lives but everyone will be smart using a smart language and much fewer will be emotionally dysfunctional or handicapped!!!!!!

I have included an intro to SCIENTIFIC THESAURUS which voracious and curious readers may want to read for their personal enlightenment.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

Enjoy!!!!!!

HOW TO UPDATE LANGUAGE AND MAKE IT MORE EFFICIENT AND LOGICAL

Exclude all synonyms which have the same meaning and use just one word with a unique definition.

Exclude antonyms because there are no opposite words in meaning

Exclude multiple meanings for words and have a word have only one definition

Exclude words which sound the same but are spelled differently. Dear and deer sound the same so dear should be eliminated or replaced with another unique sounding word

Exclude prepositions and complex grammatical rules and just use nouns, verbs, adjectives, and adverbs in the language.

If possible take a word now in usage and replace it with a shorter version which may be a slang word now but need not be in the future

Define each word logically using the concept of set and subset to formulate that definition and replace thing with subset

We don’t need similes, metaphors, and meaningless long phrases to express logical reality. Because of their usage we are now swimming in a world of  illogical uncontrolled emotion. We are ruled with concepts of love or hate for opinions and/or facts and most of us don’t make logical decisions in our lives. It is always black or white, either for or against something all the time and most of us forget that the world also has many “shades of grey”.

Exclude many words used to describe different intensities or degrees or how good or how bad something is and replace them with 1 through 10. 1 to 10 good and 1 to 10 bad. An example would be you got 10good on your test which means excellent, perfect score, all right, etc.

Exclude as many emotional words as possible in language which impede logical communication.

Use the same language worldwide is what I highly recommend as a necessary step to eventually unify the world under one language and one constitution or political system.

Good news, I have already done most of the hard basic work needed and formed a logically defined nucleus of about 7000 words which can be added to logically. Using my words and definitions by the end of elementary school almost all students will have learned a logical language which they can use in their real lives to make logical decisions instead of heavily emotionally biased opinions and actions.

An efficient language means less time to learn it and greater efficiency in using it. We will all be saving much time, energy, and money!!!!!!

I am doing my best to use this logical language in my blogs where I admit I use some words which I shouldn’t because they have multiple meanings in society at large. If I used the right word I would have to give you the new spelling and new logical meaning and your easy understanding of what I am writing about would be less.

Language even now has the ability to be used in a logical way as demonstrated in my blogs so all that most of you will have to do is learn the logical definitions and use my style of writing about everything which is on your mind.

With a smart efficient logical language there will no longer be smart and stupid humans. Everyone will be smart and many will still do stupid actions but there will be almost infinitely less who will behave stupidly. Yes some will have better memories than others but being smart does not require a good memory. There are many “intelligent” humans or humans with excellent memories who are doing very stupid things in this world and they are not smart at all but could be called very stupid. We have stupid leaders governing this world and it is time that we should put a stop to it with an efficient logical language which all of them should learn before they have a right to tell us all what to do with and in our lives!!!!!! And that is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!!!!!!

The way to a successful life for the common man or woman is learning basic calculator math, basic science, computer and basic reading and writing communication, human and animal behavior. Also important is leading a moral life, doing agility exercise, healthy eating, and doing hard mental work.   If you do all this you will be successful.

The way to a successful life for the talented man or woman is learning computer math, nontheoretical science, computer and basic reading and writing communication, human and animal behavior. Also important is leading a moral life, doing agility exercise, healthy eating, and doing hard mental work.  If you do all this you will be successful.

THE MOST IMPORTANT ADVICE HOWEVER IS TO LIVE BY A STRICT MORAL CODE:

 DON’T DESTROY BIODIVERSITY, DON’T LIE, DON’T BE INEFFICIENT, DON’T STEAL, DON’T COMMIT ADULTERY IF MARRIED, AND DON’T MURDER.

 IF YOU DO THIS YOU WILL BE TRUSTED, RESPECTED, AND ADMIRED AS A GOOD MORAL HUMAN!!!!!

 

The key to wisdom and success is to search for the truth and then apply it to your life!

Sincerely, Uldis Sprogis

If you are awed by the truth and don’t know where to start, start by teaching my moral code in every elementary and religious school in the world and work your way up from there. You can’t indoctrinate an immoral world from the top down so start from the bottom up!!!!!

We have wallowed too long in a yes or no, black or white, for or against, love or hate, never or always, antonym or synonym, yin or yang, good or bad society approach to life when the real answer to questions should be almost all the time, not all the time, some of the time, or infrequently!  This is why there are so few antonyms in this Thesaurus so that society can get away from the swinging pendulum back and forth statusquo approach to life and find a direction which should be forward on into the great future!!!

39 NEW ENGLISH WORDS FROM SCIENTIFIC THESAURUS

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Abauthority: n. an absence of authority

The offspring went wild with abauthority.

 

Abderite: n. a stupid human

There are many abderites in this world

 

Allsense: v. to focus 100% of senses on a subset(s)

He was allsensed about the football game

 

Angdis: v. to sense anger and disgust simultaneously

She was angdised by the phallic birthday cake

 

Angjehat: v. to sense anger and jealousy and hatred simultaneously

She was angjehated by her husband’s adultery

 

Atrep: v. to sense attraction and repulsion simultaneously from one or more subsets

He atreped the dirty sexy prostitute

 

Awef: v. to sense very intense respect and fear and wonder from a subset(s)

He was awefed by the tornado.

 

Buyev: v. to buy a subset(s) which is an impulse but not a necessity

His wife buyeved many clothes today at the mall.

 

Claimev: v. to communicate that a subset(s) is true based upon personal knowledge

He claimeved that Joe was a backstabber and could not rid himself of the bad habit.

 

Darev: v. to courageously do a subset(s) which one believes to be socially unacceptable and/or very dangerous

He dareved to streak in public.

 

Deboast: v. to communicate unimportance

He deboasted his coworker.

 

Demuse: v. to not possess the ability to do a pleasant and/or entertaining subset(s)

That performance was demusing.

 

Demusev: v. to not desire to do a pleasant and/or entertaining subset(s)

He demuseved to dance.

 

Disapprom: v. to sense badness when another promises to achieve your needs and/or hopes and/or desires and/or expectations and doesn’t do so

She disappromed when he didn’t show up for the date.

 

Fearsocev: to sense fear which is frequently sensed at a new untested social experience which potentially threatens possible social embarrassment

He was fearsoceving while giving the public speech.

 

Frant: v. to sense frustration and anticipation simultaneously (when offspring is so cloose to success but not achieving with many attempts)

She franted when her offspring did it twenty times without success.

 

Hapf: v. to sense happiness and fear simultaneously (when an offspring goes off to college you are happy but fear drug abuse there)

The parents hapfed as their son went off to college.

 

Ladual: adj. changing by large degrees

His improvement was ladual.

 

Lendev: to temporarily and intentionally give possession of a subset(s) and not

getting money

He lendeved the chain saw to his neighbor.

 

Loseinten: v. to intentionally lose a subset(s)

He loseintened the wedding ring in the lake after the divorce.

 

Meanev: v. to cause mental displeasure

Meanev him for the bad behavior.

 

Measy: n. a goal(s) achieved with little mental effort.

Picking up the candy wrapper was measy.

 

Mistakeinev: v. to do an intentional mistake

He was mistakeineving to upset his parents.

 

Needeff: v. to desire a subset(s) used to achieve a goal(s) efficiently

He was needeffing the latest cellphone.

 

Neglectin: v. to intentionally ignore and/or not care for adequately

Neglectin a family pet is bad.

 

Neglectun: v. to unintentionally ignore and/or not care for adequately

His mistake was to neglectun the new family pet.

 

Offin: v. to intentionally cause (anger and/or resentment) and/or cause displeasure because of an illegal action(s) which is frequently caused by a human(s) behaving immorally and/or deviating much from good social etiquette

He offined his parents by lying.

 

Partencev: v. to use up much time trying to achieve a goal(s)

To partencev an easy task will frequently get you into trouble.

 

Pinject: v. to inject one’s personal biases on another’s potential and existent actions and predominantly the corresponding thinking and/or sensing

His mistake was to pinject other humans.

 

Pochar: adj. inadequate in many desirable characteristics

She had a pochar personality.

 

Possill: v. to have and control a subset(s) illegally

The thirteen year old possilled the car.

 

Psimbiasev: v. to be attracted to a human(s) with similar personal biases

He had few friends because he was psimbiaseving.

 

Pyrent: n. an adopting parent

Her dad was a pyrent.

 

Sodiff: v. to achieve with relatively much skill

The audience loved the sodiffed song.

 

Surang: v. to sense surprise and anger simultaneously

She suranged when her son threw the plate at her.

 

Sumpemsorev: v. to sense pity and sorrow and empathy for another’s misfortune

She sumpemsoreved then her daughter sprained her ankle.

 

Tendopt: n. a tendency to overanticipate optimistic future results

His tendopting continued after a lucky win the first time and he lost all his money.

Tendrec: n. a tendency to consider recent events as more important than earlier events

His tendrecing continued after a lucky win even though he was on a losing streak.

Vpossess: v. to use one’s possession(s) and/or the possession(s) of another(s) with permission

He vpossessed his father’s car.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them and read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, which is rays of truth in a world filled with myths and deceptions.

Enjoy!!!!!!

IF YOU’RE THE BOSS DON’T SAY THESE 22 THINGS AND HERE ARE THE THINGS YOU SHOULD SAY INSTEAD!

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Geoffrey James of inc.com has some interesting things which he thinks a boss should never say to an employee and he recommends not saying anything at all instead of these impulsive phrases. Not saying anything at all is the best thing to do if you really don’t know the right answer or response but I have included my own responses to 14 which Geoffrey feels should not be said at all.

“We’ve always done it this way”

We might think that this is the easy thing to communicate which requires no new thinking on the part of the boss. A better response might be to say “convince me that your way is better than standard operating procedure”.

 

“Just figure it out”

A boss may not know the answer or may not have the time to help an employee with a problem. “I’ll get back to you later” or “I will do some research and get back to you later” or “I will think about the problem and get back to you later” are much better responses.

 

“I don’t have time for this”

It can sometimes be frustrating when employees put demands on the boss and are really asking for help. “I will get back to you later” or “I will try to help you when I have more time” are more appropriate responses which communicate to the employee that you care about their predicament and will try to help them with the problem sooner or later.

 

“You think that YOU’RE stressed?”

Trying to outdo your employee in the stress department is emotional blackmail. “I’m stressed too but it usually goes away when the deadline is met successfully” or “Next time I will get someone to help you on a similar task so your workload does not seem so impossible to do” are better responses.

 

“Is this the best you can do?”

This expression is a putdown which no employee wants to admit to. “I know that you can do better next time” or “Let’s redo this with better results” or giving your employee suggestions on how to do a task better are more appropriate responses.

 

“Just do as I say”

“Follow my instructions as best you can” or “I want you to do this in the following order” are much better ways of ordering your employees around so that they don’t think that you are treating them like children.

 

“Your predecessor did a better job”

A comparison with a previous employee will only make one feel bad and not necessarily motivate him or her into doing better. “I know you can do it better next time and here are some helpful suggestions” is a much better approach to criticism which is of a constructive kind and will motivate one to do better next time.

 

“That’s a stupid idea”

“Try to come up with a better idea” is a way not to discourage future input from an employee which may indeed be more helpful than the given wrong suggestion or idea which the employee is volunteering.

 

“You’re doing a lousy job”

“I know that you can do much better by doing xyz next time”

If there is still some hope that the employee will not get fired for very bad performance on the job then make some helpful suggestions so that the employee knows how to do it right the next time.

 

“What’s wrong with you?”

This is an insult which will cause a bad emotional response. “What made you do so badly this time?” will probably get a more honest useful answer.

 

“Why are you so lazy?”

“Why did it take you so long?” is a question about the job and not an assault on one’s personality which will just cause bad feelings if you call someone lazy.

 

“I knew you’d fail”

“I had a suspicion that you would fail but I wasn’t 100% sure” is a better response because if you knew one would fail then you shouldn’t have asked him or her to do the task in the first place.

 

“I told you so”

Gloating about a prediction of failure may make you feel good about yourself but not help the employees feeling of selfworth. A more appropriate response is to communicate “You can usually trust my suggestions because I am more experienced and rarely wrong”.

 

“Don’t ever talk to my boss”

“If you contact or communicate with my boss then keep me informed”

is a more appropriate response or request which will not make you seem paranoid since talking to higher ups will usually circulate throughout the office in the form of gossip. There is really nothing that you can realistically do if an employee wants to speak to your boss about something which he or she thinks you are not doing right.

 

“Track how you spend every hour”

“Schedule your time and try to accomplish your task within the time period and go on to the next task when done”  This is a better suggestion which puts a priority on the accomplishment of the task and not just how long it should take. If employees are merely asked to follow the clock they may be tempted to fill in the time left over with pretend work which does not benefit the organization.

 

“The customer is always right”

There are many times when the customer unjustly comes back with damaged used merchandise and asks for money back, is abusive, is unethical, is unreasonable, demands consultations which are not part of the deal, and makes bigoted remarks. The customer may be emotionally unreasonable and put demands on company services which are not included in the cost so the customer is definitely not always right.

 

“We expect corporate loyalty”

“We will pay you what you are worth” is a more honest communication in this age when many jobs are being outsourced and companies frequently cut down on staff or downsize. Loyalty works both ways and to demand loyalty from an employee and not be loyal to the employee is an injustice.

 

“This is a meritocracy”

“We try to hire and promote the best” is a more accurate response because even in highly technical fields women are still underrepresented and the personality of the employee still plays a dominant role in who gets promoted in the managerial ranks where technical proficiency is frequently of secondary importance when it comes to managerial skill.

 

“You’ll gain valuable experience”

“You’ll be paid what your worth and you will learn something useful too”

is a better communication than trying to pay someone less than they’re worth for the privilege of working for the company.

 

“It’s my way or the highway”

“Let’s try it your way and see if it succeeds” is a better communication because bosses should be telling employees WHAT to do and not HOW to do it in minute detail.

 

“Because I said so”

“I made this decision for the following reason or reasons” is a better communication because it is not an order for a child to follow but it should be a well thought out reason or reasons for doing something which answers why something has to be done that is job relevant and not just an order by the boss to be obeyed without question.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE.

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WHAT TO ASK ON A FIRST DATE

online-dating-apps

Asking questions on a first date is important but you should try and avoid making it an interrogation with questions that are very personal and may be considered offensive or overly aggressive. Make the questions as open ended as possible with freedom to answer or not to answer.

Remember most dates are interested in themselves, their close friends, sometimes their family, and frequently in the entertainment which they enjoy or something that they like to do.

Most dates are a little anxious about how they look to someone. Start off by complimenting the date on personal looks or attire but don’t come on too strong by saying something stupid like “you are the most beautiful woman or the most handsome man that I have ever met”. Rather say “You look very attractive today and I like your hairstyle and outfit”.  If they think that they are beautiful or handsome they will wonder why you didn’t use those superlatives and may sense that you are interested in them more than just for their looks. If your date is not that beautiful or handsome then it will be an honest truthful compliment and not overblown.

Follow this up with a general question. “How was your day?” If they had a bad day then empathize with them with a phrase such as “I know how you must feel” and maybe share a bad day that you may have had in the recent past. An ability to share the bad moments as well as the good is a desirable characteristic to have.

“What are some of your favorite pastimes?” or “What are some of the things that you love to do?” The point here is to find out if you have common loves or things that you both like a lot. If you are not getting any good responses then you can try being more specific and ask “What are your favorite songs, movies, hobbies, sports, etc.?” If you find that you have many activities that you mutually enjoy doing the date will probably be a success and if your likes are very different and maybe unacceptable then you will not be wasting more time on a second date finding out that your interests and loves are really worlds apart and not just acceptable male female differing priorities.

“Do you have any close friends?” This will give you an opportunity to find out if they are loaners or rather sociable. You will get a good idea of what type of personalities your date likes to associate with since birds of a feather frequently flock together.  If you also have a few close friends then you can share some short details about them.

“Are you close with your family?” This question will offer you the opportunity to find out if your date comes from a loving family or from one with problems and maybe a divorce or two. If you both come from good families you can start sharing some of your best moments with them. If one of you comes from a dysfunctional family then it is best to leave it on the burner and return to the topic during another date later on because you want your first date to be as positive as possible with no negative vibes.

“Do you like your job?” is a question which can lead into a discussion of future job plans or just what your date might envision doing 2,5, or 10 years from now.

“Do you have any plans for the future?” Ask what is going on in their life now and try to find out what they would like to do with their lives in the future. If your future plans are not your dates and they clash then maybe you should consider dating someone else.

More can be written about first date conversations but the above information should keep you from freezing up on the first date and appearing fearful, boring, or a bad conversationalist.

Dates want to know if you are interested in them and it is best to ask most of the questions and spend most of your time listening carefully to the responses. Then answer appropriately without trying to become the center of attention and just talking about yourself which is a real turnoff for the one who has to listen to your selfish self-absorption. A conversation should be a two way street with women frequently doing most of the talking. An overly talkative male is a sign that he probably just cares mostly about himself or is overly assertive and is trying to impress you with what great possessions and life he has.

Above all else try to be as honest, sincere, and caring as possible because if you start to lie about one or more things to your date those things will come back to haunt you at a later time and the possibility of a trustworthy bonding relationship developing smoothly will be destroyed. If you can’t trust someone then a close friendship or marital relationship will not develop.

Of course you can ask these questions online before you even date and save a lot of time, energy, and money by not going on a blind date!!!!!!

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HOW TO HANDLE FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS

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Challenge a firmly held opinion or belief or aggressively criticize another human and angry emotions will almost always appear. Trying to convince one that you are right and that they are wrong takes much skillful conversation when it is only a mistake and it is mission impossible if it is a strong belief.

Probe gently for someone’s mindset before you arrogantly proceed to voice your strong opinion or belief. Some subjects such as politics, religion, and sports infrequently lead to logical discussions but can quickly escalate into emotional confrontations instead. Avoid sensitive subjects unless they become serious important problems in your life.

If you are not sure about how a human feels about a sensitive subject but want to know then gently ask “How do you feel about ______? If you greatly disagree with the feeling then just say OK and don’t pursue the subject any further.

No matter how cool we try to be we can get upset sometimes. Yelling, ranting, and throwing a tantrum will just cause bad emotions in other humans and won’t make you feel any better after showing your emotions. The best action is to slow down and breathe deeply and try to do more thinking when you feel that you have emotionally upset someone. Remember no one is stress free and everybody has to deal with their own stress as effectively as possible. Try to be the calmer one in any emotional flareup and your words will usually be more respected and not as offensive.

There are many ways to make someone feel uncomfortable and this is frequently done in emotionally misleading and accidental behaviors. One can cause discomfort by asking one to do something that they don’t want to do. Discomfort is also caused by doing something which one finds upsetting. If you insist on discussing a topic that humans don’t want to discuss this effectively makes someone very uncomfortable.

It is almost impossible to decrease irrational anger. When humans get angry for irrational reasons calmly and respectfully listen to their grievance but remember that it will not be easy because intense irrational anger will make you want to respond as angrily. Don’t try to reason with them because they are in no mood to be rational. Don’t offer an insincere apology but try to find some action of yours which made them angry in the first place which you do regret and apologize for that.

Be careful when you joke about something because even the best jokes may be taken seriously which becomes painful and awkward. If you insist on humor in your conversation then build on the joke and make it more extreme until it is obvious that you must be joking. If your attempt at humor fails then admit that you are joking before the circumstance gets worse. Many people don’t get jokes so rarely joke or better yet don’t joke if you want a conversation to proceed smoothly and logically.

Jokes frequently destroy the boundary between logic and nonsense and some push a joke too much. A courtesy laugh will only motivate the joker to push more so avoid an untrue laugh. Express confusion and communicate in your own words what the joke meant to you and that you honestly tried to understand it. They may analyze the joke and you will feel that it was somewhat funny or it may reveal how their brain works humorously. Jokes frequently make fun out of human frailty and errors so it is best to ignore a joke that you don’t understand or disagree with.

Don’t joke at the opposite sex.  There are differences between men and women but making fun of one gender is a communication that somehow your gender is superior to the other gender and this is nonsense which is overly prejudicial and biased. Most women are more emotional and social and talkative and caring than most men but that should be no reason to make fun of them since nature programmed them to be different for the benefit of the offspring. It takes a good man and a good woman(s) to raise offspring in a balanced and healthy way as nature programmed.

Never hide an insult and pretend a compliment because no one likes to be deceived.

Though most of us probably feel that we are above feelings of jealousy, occasionally we may experience them. If this exists then try to convince yourself that the object of your jealousy is not as desirable as it seems. Instead focus on how lucky you are and on the things which are right with your life. Jealousy is primarily experienced by the economically poor in this society which puts so much importance  on the possession of many material possessions.

Jealousy of attractive humans is rampant in a society which puts more value upon beauty than on health and smarts and is the reason why so many are obsessed irrationally with their looks.

Frequently you must reveal a personally shocking truth to someone who is not ready for the truth so their minds must be carefully prepared to hear it. Don’t hit them with the complete truth at once but try to present it in smaller and slightly less shocking chunks. Evidence in small chunks and then the complete evidence will make a mind naturally rebel from that much truth but it is necessary that you maintain your honest reputation despite shock to the listener. A person will reflect upon the confrontation later and continue to respect you for being honest and your good reputation in their subjective biased minds will be maintained.

Being honest, sincere, and reliable will ensure that a strong bond continues in a relationship even after many arguments which should decrease in quantity as time passes if you continue to maintain a trustworthy relationship despite the arguments.

If you liked this evergreen blog read more of them and read one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE.

Enjoy!!!!!!

13 PHRASES YOU SHOULD TRY TO AVOID OR SAY DIFFERENTLY!!!

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Say “I’ll try to help if I can” instead of “that’s not my problem” and say “Let’s discuss what’s possible under the circumstances” instead of “There’s nothing I can do”.

There are 11 more phrases which should be avoided or can be said better as shown in this huffingtonpost.com article.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/19/things-you-should-never-say-at-work_n_2717990.html

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE.

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7 THINGS WHICH CAN INCREASE THE DURATION OF YOUR MARRIAGE!!!

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Learn to communicate with discussion more than with angry emotional confrontation when you disagree. Learn caring communication which means listening carefully to what the other is saying and supporting their right to disagree with you on rather trivial matters. When discussing rather important things remember that it may take more than one discussion to reach an agreement or a consensus on what the best thing to do is.

Boredom can reduce mutual attraction and sharing exciting activities together can maintain or even increase mutual bonding attraction. Plan some exciting mutually satisfying activities together throughout the marriage and you will increase your chances of remaining attractive to one another.

One way of avoiding arguments is withdrawl or ignoring the assault on you which may come in the form of severe criticism or a confrontational argument. When one partner has given up on discussing or irrationally arguing about problems then mutual attraction begins to fade and the marriage will be threatened. There is no constructive arguing possible if there is illogical ranting, name calling, profanities, and put downs as well as emotional dissatisfaction being expressed.

Few marriages will last if pessimistic depression exists frequently in one spouse. Mental health is very important in a marriage and if one is mentally handicapped and therapy does not help, then the marriage will probably not last long.

Too much caring or too much nurturing and protection or support of your spouse will lead to an overly dependent spouse who will not be able to function independently on her or his own. Quality caring and not quantity caring is what is preferable in a marriage. Quality caring means caring about the important things in the marriage and not caring so much about the rather trivial experiences, conflicting personally biased opinions, and problems which you are having.

Religious holiday traditions, especially for women, tend to increase the attractiveness of the relationship. What really strengthens a satisfying relationship is having a common or shared morality more than anything else and a recommended shared secular morality is- except in emergency situations- don’t destroy biodiversity, don’t lie, don’t be inefficient, don’t steal, don’t commit adultery if married, and don’t murder.

Sharing and celebrating each other’s successes also strengthens the marital bond. In a similar fashion it also strengthens a friendship bond if you celebrate each other’s successes. Intense optimistic shared emotions strengthen human bonds.

It may not be so obvious but sharing mutual bad feelings and emotions such as hatred, disapproval, grieving, or empathizing with a bad experience can also strengthen the human bond between two or more humans. Any shared or agreed to mutually intense emotional behavior strengthens human bonds whether the behavior is bad or good. Shared intense bad and immoral emotional behavior strengthens the human bond between delinquents and criminals. Criminal successes increase the human bonding between the participants.

http://wordpress.com/tag/science/

If you liked this evergreen blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE.

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HOW TO BE AND REMAIN A CREATIVE BLOGGER

creative-blogger

To be and remain a creative blogger you need a continuous source of new information which you then proceed to change and/or rearrange with your personal writing style and opinions about the order of the information which you want to present.

No new input means that there will be no new output and you will be writing in a dead end. Research, research, and research for new information. A blogger should spend more time researching and reading new information than writing. If you don’t like the research process then don’t be surprised if you run out of inspiration to write rather quickly.

Pick an area of expertise which you predominantly want to write about and passionately write about it and continue to research the topic for new ideas to add to your existing knowledge. You will probably quickly find out that once you write a few blogs then you will start running out of new ideas or simply not have the time to research and write as frequently.

If you find out that you have writer’s block then it is time to write about some new topic which may be your second or third passion in life. Find a new category to write about, do the research on the internet, in other blogs, or in books and change and/or rearrange the information and write a blog about it.

If you find out that you are spending more time writing than researching and acquiring new knowledge then you will probably write something relatively uninteresting and boring which will only have personal meaning to you. Pay attention to likes counts on other blogs to give you a better idea of what topics interest other bloggers and the way that they are presented in the blog.

Keep in mind that most readers are asking the question- Is it interesting or relevant to me and how will it help to make my life more interesting or useful. In effect, will this article entertain and inform me of something which I have an interest in and be useful in my life?

If you seem to be writing about something which interests few humans then be prepared for a lonely existence in your limited world. I am fortunate that the truth about almost any topic interests me so I blog and never run out of new topics to write about and I do so on a daily basis.

CONCLUSION:

You need a constant source of new information to write something new so try to develop an insatiable curiosity for the new and interesting with research reading. Creative blogging is about 95% research and 5% writing and if you are not spending time this way then you will not be a very creative blogger nor will you continue to be one.

If you liked this evergreen blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE.

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IF YOU WANT TO BE HIRED BY A CEO THEN DON’T MAKE THESE 17 RESUME MISTAKES

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Here is a link to the article on skipprichard.com.

http://www.skipprichard.com/do-you-make-these-resume-mistakes-17-resume-donts-from-the-ceos-desk/

If you like this evergreen blog read more of them and read one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE.

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5 IMPORTANT CHARACTERISTICS OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH DETAILS

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YOU HAVE A SHARED MORALITY:

You both trust one another or are honest, sincere, dependable, and trustworthy, and feel secure that neither one of you will cheat on the other financially or sexually. This basically means that you have a strong common morality which you believe in which is don’t lie, don’t steal, and don’t commit adultery if married.

YOU MUTUALLY CARE OR NURTURE AND PROTECT ONE ANOTHER:

Your thoughts and feelings are mutually shared and not hidden from one another thus promoting trust.

You optimistically encourage and praise or nurture one another when you succeed at doing something important or when things are going very good. When things are not going very good you try to maintain an optimism that things will get better with appropriate changes or solutions to bad problems.

You try to protect one another from bad habits, bad influences, and bad humans. You encourage the replacement or reduction of bad habits with good ones, try and prevent a minor problem from becoming a bad irritating habit, and steer relationships with others to good role model friends and not bad ones. Where offspring are involved you try to make sure that your offspring are associating with good role model offspring and not bad ones.

You try to work as a team giving each other help when it seems necessary for better functioning.

You display affection almost on a daily basis with personal gestures and pet names for each other and appropriate kissing.

You know your partner’s goals and hopes for the future and you enjoy supporting  or nurturing the important ones.

Leading by example is important to raising a successful family. Being a good parent role model teaches respect, work ethic, and social appropriateness and is not saying bad things about your partner, using physical force to get what you want, or neglecting the needs of your dependents. This teaches offspring that abusive relationships are not acceptable.

YOU HAVE GOOD COMMUNICATION:

You rarely express contempt for your partner by cussing at them, calling them crazy or stupid, and stereotyping their behavior in other ways such as saying that you ALWAYS do that when it is not true in all cases.

Trying to answer questions in as short and understandable way as possible is important but this is only possible after having been a GOOD LISTENER and having understood what is being communicated. Being a good listener not only means getting the point or points but also correctly getting the emotional tone of what is being said. Sometimes all that a partner is looking for is emotional support and not necessarily any physical help in resolving a problem.

Good communication does not include yelling, blaming, threats, demands, name calling, or threatening suicide if your partner leaves.

You discuss rather than argue when you disagree on something and try to see the other’s point of view as usually being reasonable if not very acceptable to you personally.

You think your partner has good ideas quite frequently and they are ideas which you are willing to try to see if they work better or are solutions to problems.

You have talked enough to have intimate knowledge of your partner’s past and present life. For example, you know his or her favorite and not so favorite things in life such as a favorite book, song, food, relative, proudest offspring moment and most embarrassing offspring moment. You know his or her best friend’s best trait and his or her worst characteristic and you generally know the kind of humans that he or she comes into contact on a daily basis.

 

YOU HAVE FINANCIAL SECURITY:

You know how to budget your money and don’t go into excessive debt with impulsive over spending. You either both have good jobs or one of you has a good enough paying job to support you and one offspring for a year or more. You are smart enough to have a savings account or very secure investment for life’s emergencies, offspring higher education, and retirement.

YOU TRY TO BE EFFICIENT:

Not wasting time, energy, and money is not only important on the job but is also important in a good relationship. You schedule your work time and you should also try to schedule your family time so there is always time to spend on important things such as getting enough sleep, some exercise, a good healthy meal, time with the offspring, and time with each other.

If you are efficient with your family life then you will have more promises fulfilled, less time spent on trivial pursuits which just waste time, energy, and money, and you will have time left over to improve your lives with more knowledge and new skills which can come in handy for a better paying job or career. Your life will be more predictable, interesting, and fulfilling if you budget your time, energy, and money wisely and do it by the clock or a schedule where you establish the important priorities in your lives and focus more attention on them to mutual benefit.

To set important priorities in family life you can ask these questions: What am I spending time on now? How much time am I spending on it? How important is the activity in our lives? Which priorities should I spend more time, energy, and money on?

Human society is very inefficient and selfindulgent with too much emphasis on mindless entertainment. Eliminate much of the mindless entertainment from your lives or reduce it to a bare minimum and you will have successful useful goal oriented relationships which grow in value and happiness as time progresses.

Excluding or severely reducing the time spent on bad lazy fruitless time consuming habits is not going to be easy because you are getting some satisfaction by doing them but if you succeed in replacing or reducing the old time consuming bad habits and increasing the time spent on good habits then the whole family will benefit!!!!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them and read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSErays of truth in a world filled with myths and deceptions.

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Enjoy!!!!!!

4 MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IN A LONG DURATION OR LASTING MARRIAGE!!!!

lasting-marriage

There are hundreds of tips and advice on marriage but few identify the most important building blocks which create a very good foundation for a long duration marriage. The 4 most important foundations are-

 SHARED MORALITY

 MUTUAL CARING

 FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY

 GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS

 

SHARED MORALITY:

In an increasingly relativistic world where situation ethics or loose morality is being taught by professionals and condoned by society at large, the statistics for successful marriages are depressing and getting worse. You don’t need archaic religious morality to guide you but you do need to share a strong secular morality to make a marriage work. The two most important moral principles in that secular morality are DON’T LIE and DON’T COMMIT ADULTERY IF MARRIED.

If you believe that being honest, sincere, and trying to be truthful are not important in a marriage then you will not have a trusting relationship in the marriage and without trust you will be living in constant fear, uncertainty, suspicion, stress, and turmoil. Any initial bond, which may only be primarily sexual, which helped to initially keep your relationship together will be broken and the relationship will destruct sooner if not later. If at any point in the relationship you find out that you can’t TRUST your partner, DON’T MARRY him or her.

If you find out, hopefully in time, that your potential mate has been a playboy or playgirl for 5 to 10 years then the odds are against you that you will have an adulterous free marriage and the probability that you will divorce sooner or later is very large. If your potential mate has many adulterous friends then this is also a dangerous sign that you too will probably be victimized by the same fate sooner or later. If you have lived together for about one year, are financially secure enough to support one child and can’t get a commitment to marry then end the relationship because it is a purely sexual one and your potential mate is hoping to find a better mate in the future.

 

MUTUAL CARING:

If you find out that your potential spouse does not respect you and does not show an interest in and support most of the things that you like and love to do or does not care about you then consider him or her an incurable selfcentered egotist. It is a human who has not learned to care about other humans and it is unfortunately too late to teach them how to be a nurturing and protective or a caring individual.

 

FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY:

Inadequate finances or irresponsible management of finances is the leading cause of divorce. If you are good at budgeting money and your potential spouse is not then it is possible for the responsible spouse to take over the financial management successfully if the other is seriously willing to do so. If both of you have independent jobs and accounts and both are irresponsible financially and impulsive in your spending habits then the marriage will almost never succeed.

Offspring are always an additional financial responsibility and if you haven’t enough money to support any then use birth control until you can responsibly support offspring. If you both are working then make sure that just one of you can support the family on your own for a year or more unless you both earn enough to pay for a full time nanny and can continue to work after a very short pregnancy period which will not result in losing a good paying job.

 

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:

A great disadvantage in solving family problems is frequent emotional displays, many emotional arguments, constant criticism, a general inability to discuss problems rationally, and an unwillingness or inability to give emotional support when needed in times of personal hardship and stress. Emotional eruptions shut down an ability to discuss and solve a problem and if one of you can’t control your emotions or shut down and don’t communicate at all about important topics then the marriage will fail in the long duration.

CONCLUSION:

Find a human who you can trust, who demonstrates with actions and words that he cares about you, who is financially capable and responsible, and who has good communication skills and the probability is great that you will have a long duration marriage! If you can’t find the above human then get ready for much disappointment and failure in your relationship and it probably won’t last!!!!!! Of course if you fall madly in love with a human with the above characteristics and abilities and go past the infatuation stage then you will have nice memories to think about in old age if you do marry.

 

If you liked this evergreen blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE.

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8 MEANS TO IMPROVE YOUR COMMUNICATION SKILLS

Communication-Skills

The general principle of good conversation is knowing how to give the right feedback or answer(s) to the communicator or sender of the message.

Communicate with one exclusively:

Multitasking during a conversation privately or on the phone is rude and inconsiderate unless it is an emergency which can’t wait but that is an extreme rarity. Give your complete attention to the human to whom you are talking to and they will feel important and acknowledged.

 

Make eye contact:

Don’t stare wide eyed at the human to whom you are talking to exclusively but do focus on the eyes or lips most of the time because it communicates trust and respect. If you don’t trust or respect the human whom you are talking to then eye contact is not that important and it can be occasional.

If your eyes are somewhere else you may seem that you are not being sincere or have something to hide or are even shy. I occasionally deviate slightly from eye contact and have a serious thinking face if there is such a thing when I agree or disagree with an opinion and I consider that perfectly normal for me. Rather than look at an emotionally contorted or angry face I divert eye attention to the shoulder or other body part to show my disproval and absence of a desire to look at an emotional facial display. When the emotional display is over then I focus back on the eyes and calmly answer.

 

Ask some questions:

Sometimes asking whether your assessment of the conversation’s important details is accurate is all the questioning which is necessary. Sometimes asking questions during the conversation is necessary to show that you are following what is being said and are trying to identify the important points or convey that you are thinking about the important points during the conversation. Asking questions suggests a serious attraction to a conversation and communicates that you are paying attention to what is being said.

 

Write down important facts:

Especially in a serious business conversation since most of us do not have perfect memories, it is smart to write down important facts or opinions which may be hard to remember a day or week after the conversation. It will be more efficient and you won’t get back an embarrassing answer at a future date that we discussed that topic before, don’t you remember?

 

Read and respond to the entire email:

Read and respond to all the points in an email so you don’t get misunderstandings about your answers. Not reading all the important points and replying to all of them can cause great inefficiency and misunderstandings because you will get confused emails back asking for further explanations about the points missed in the original email. If there are too many questions to answer then pick up the phone and discuss them all efficiently as short and to the point as possible.

 

Have a consistent response schedule:

Nothing is more frustrating than sending a text or email and not knowing when you will get a response. Try to make a general callback scheduling rule such as no more than 20 minutes to respond to a text and no more than 24 hours to respond to an email. Humans will appreciate that you have regular response habits and that you can be relied to respond in a timely fashion without forgetting completely and making unnecessary excuses about why you didn’t answer a communication.

 

Assume best intentions for short communications:

If a communication is short and to the point some humans may feel that you are being rude or you may think a human doing so is rude. Nothing could be further from the truth, assume the best intentions and be thankful that your time is not being wasted. Humans will add their own emotions to a short message and if there is friction or animosity between you then they may sometimes assume it is a hostile or aggressive message.

 

Complete acknowledgement of a message:

Nothing is so frustrating as to be anxious about whether a message was received or went to spam or wound up elsewhere. When you get a text of email reply promptly by saying “thank you” or “I got it” as a confirmation and this will not cause anxiety in the sender.

 

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6 THINGS WHICH CAN CAUSE BAD CASUAL COMMUNICATION

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Asking too many questions:

Asking too many questions during a conversation can create the feeling of an uncomfortable interrogation which feels threatening. You need to ask questions during a conversation to keep it going smoothly but too many repulses humans.

Too much and too fast conversation:

Slow down when talking or you will start including unimportant random thoughts which are not understandable and make it more difficult for humans to follow the thoughts which you are saying too fast. Don’t forget to put emotion into your important facts or opinions and pause a little after making an important point so that it attracts attention and makes humans more attentive to your talking.

Rudely interrupting a conversation:

Some humans are so anxious to get their information across that they will try to rudely inject a thought before you are finished talking. Don’t rudely interrupt unless the human is talking too much and getting off the subject. Interrupting is not rude if you are trying to get the human to return to the subject matter being originally discussed. In most cases patiently wait until the human is finished talking before you respond.

Insisting that you are always right:

Personal pride will frequently tempt you to attack or argue that your opinion is right and another human’s is wrong. Conversation should be more of a calm discussion and not constant intense disagreement. Right or wrong other humans are entitled to keep their opinions if you can’t convince them otherwise with a logical discussion. Humans are very emotionally attached to their wrong or right opinions and they will frequently fight or argue to defend them so try to be as diplomatic about it as possible and reduce emotional exchanges to a minimum. Arguing or fighting over rather trivial opinions may mean losing a friend for no good reason.

Boring and depressing humans:

If you have nothing important to do or say or just want to talk about your depressing problems then it is better to say nothing and not bore the other human and repulse them. Having a good optimistic, honest, and sincere attitude will attract good humans to you and pessimism will attract pessimistic humans who want to join you in mutual misery.

Not reciprocating good feelings and information:

If a human optimistically helps or shares important information with you then thank them or reciprocate by also giving them some important information or help optimistically. Better human bonding exists or better friendships grow when two or more humans reciprocate and share honest, sincere, and truthful good feelings and information.

 

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FOUR QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU START SPREADING RUMORS OR GOSSIP

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You hear some juicy or bad information about a human and you aren’t sure if you want to pass it on to other humans, especially your family and close friends. There are 4 questions you should ask yourself before you spread the bad news.

Who is the source of the information?

If the human providing you with the bad information about a human is not trustworthy or has a history of untrue rumors and gossip then don’t trust the information and under no circumstances should you try to spread it to others.

Is the information true?

If you personally don’t know if a rumor or gossip is true then don’t spread it, especially if the information has the potential to ruin a good reputation. If the rumor or gossip is about a human with a bad reputation then it may be true and you can proceed to try and verify the information before you spread it further and further ruin an already bad reputation.

Is the information good news?

If the rumor or gossip is something good about a human then spreading the rumor or gossip will not adversely affect a human’s reputation and you can proceed to spread the information.

Is the information useful?

Sometimes the rumor or gossip information is not very useful and is everyday common knowledge, behavior, beliefs, or opinions which will not affect a human’s reputation if it is mentioned and is relatively useless information to pass on. Of course you can conclude that the bad information will be useful in trying to destroy a human’s reputation for personal gain but be careful that you don’t destroy your own reputation in the long duration. Lying about a human will come back to haunt your own good reputation eventually as it frequently does given enough time.

CONCLUSION: If a rumor or gossip is from a human with a bad reputation, is not true to the best of your knowledge, is not good, and is not useful then you shouldn’t spread the rumor or gossip further.

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THE TRUTH ABOUT ANGER

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You can be angry at yourself, angry at another human or humans, angry at the injustice of institutions in this world, and angry at bad events.

We get angry because someone criticizes us or blames us for something which we may or may not have done. Recognize that no one is perfect, including yourself, and that if you get criticized or blamed then you may be totally or partially responsible for the bad situation. Accept the fact that you may have to be angry at yourself and not others for something bad happening. Our overinflated ego can easily be hurt and anger is frequently the first way that we try and deal with the hurt and frequently unsuccessfully with dead end results and much unnecessary emotional turmoil.

We also get angry if someone does not listen to us or obey us when we think it is important to do so. Our spouse and offspring will frequently not listen to us and not obey us when we make demands.  It is OK to get angry at young offspring who don’t know better or can’t reason well or at all. Trying to be a dictator or tyrant or boss all the time will not work in a family setting and you should try to learn more democratic discussion and consensus building skills to be a successful leader in the family.

We also get angry if someone disagrees with an opinion which we might have on politics, sports, economics, etc. If an opposing opinion will not significantly affect work or family life then it is frequently not worth getting angry over. Live and let live in a sea of different opinions on subjects which you have little or no power over or can’t change in any significant way. You have little or no control over politics, religion, sports, society, and economics so don’t get into heated arguments about what is not possible for one relatively powerless person to change for the better.

We also get angry if we think the world is conspiring against us and we are being victimized by it. The world has never been fair or just and will not be fair or just into the foreseeable future so stop blaming the system and try to find ways of working around it to get to your desired goals in life.

Finally we get angry at mistakes which we make which may or may not be our fault. Almost everyone makes a thousand and one mistakes in their lives and instead of getting angry one should try to learn from the mistakes and make sure that they don’t happen again or don’t happen as frequently in the future by making necessary changes in your life or changing your approach to things.

Fundamentally we get angry because our ego has been hurt or because our attempt at reaching a goal(s) has been stopped or hindered permanently or temporarily.

Getting angry is easy but suppressing the emotion and debating or discussing the situation calmly takes skill and selfcontrol which is not easy to obtain overnight.

Accepting the fact that no one is perfect including ourselves and accepting the fact that two or more humans will frequently disagree or have different opinions on a topic is vital to keep angry emotional outbursts to a minimum.

Here are 3 ways to reduce angry reactions which should work for anyone interested in managing their tendency to respond with anger first and not last:

Take a timeout:

Count to 10 before you respond is good advice because in the heat of the moment an angry remark is something which may hurt you permanently and it is not something which you can change once you have said it. Not responding for ten seconds or longer will frequently give us time to control our angry impulses and find a better answer or solution to the problem at hand.

Express your feelings and opinions in a noncombative way:

Once you have calmed down a bit don’t be confrontational or in attack mode but try to discuss the topic which made you angry in a calm collected way. Communicate the situation which caused the anger without immediately trying to control or hurt others with nasty comments and orders. Try to mutually come to an agreement on what should be done to diffuse the highly emotional situation. “Let’s try to work this out in a mutually beneficial way if possible.”

Instead of  being combative and saying “You make me angry” say “I feel angry” and instead of “I disagree with your opinion” say “I think that my opinion has validity because-“

Learn new communication skills:

Most humans get angry and lose control of their emotions because they frequently feel helpless in a bad situation. “What do I do next?” is frequently a question which goes unanswered and an angry response is the fast easy wrong response.  Learning to ask the right questions and getting answers to them are the communication skills which are necessary to navigate past a dysfunctional angry response. Ask yourself and others who, what, where, when, why, how, and how much about angry situations. You will find out in a controlled way who or what caused the anger, where, when, and why the anger started, and how the anger can be eliminated in the future.

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HOW TO TALK LIKE A LEADER

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Know what you want.

A confident, simple, truthful, and authoritative tone and content is necessary. Leaders should not convey uncertainty, doubt, indecisiveness, or fear in the tone of voice and content. Leaders should know what they want so that they are not for a loss of words when asked a question or asked for guidance. Knowing what the purpose or goals of the organization is and what the rules are for behavior are very important since you will be constantly reminding workers of them.  

Know when to use “but” or “and” properly

If a task or tasks were not done to acceptable standards then the word “but” can be used. We completed the tasks “but” the next time we will have to do it a little differently and/or we will have to put in more time and/or effort to succeed. If the task or tasks were done to acceptable standards then the word “and” should be used. We completed the job successfully “and” the next time we will have to do it a little differently and/or we will have to put in more time and/or effort.  

Resist superlatives

Leaders should not use superlatives which convey no meaning but are merely an attempt to create an emotional high. Amazing, awesome, unbelievable, incredible, epic, colossal, and out of this world should not be used. Great work, very good work, outstanding job, excellent, good attempt, nice try, on target, you did it, and well done are simple approving motivating words which create an optimistic rewarding emotional reaction which is believable and not exaggerated.  

Don’t convey uncertainty and vagueness

Use courageous, truthful, simple, accurate language to motivate action and not communications such as “This is kind of a tough situation” or “It’s sort of up to this team” which conveys uncertainty and vagueness.  

Use humor sparingly

Sometimes laughing at yourself or making fun of a past failure or mistake can relieve some stress and affirm that no one is perfect but seldom make fun of a worker who will assume that it is a form of ridicule and feel personally offended. Telling a funny story or joke is sometimes acceptable but you run the risk of someone not getting the joke or the humor and you may appear foolish which is not something a leader should exhibit.

Don’t get sidetracked

Sometimes a worker will ask a question which has little or nothing to do with the discussed subject or may even start complaining about an irrelevant topic such as family problems. Don’t feel obligated to answer such questions or complaints right away and stick to the topic being discussed. “We can discuss that another time” is an appropriate response so you don’t get sidetracked.

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THE MAJOR HANDICAP IN THIS WORLD IS AN EMOTIONAL, ARCHAIC, MYTHOLOGICAL LANGUAGE!!!

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Human language everywhere is terribly inefficient when compared to animal communications such as those of dolphins and other wild animals. It uses many synonyms which are words which mean the same thing and multiple meanings for words which confuse someone who hasn’t spent days learning the tricky use of the word. Words spelled differently but sounding the same can create confusion for young communicators.

It has antonyms which are not the opposite in meaning but mislead you into thinking they are. Love is not the opposite of hate because there are humans who love to hate and this artificial confusing language paradox is true for almost all the antonyms which exist.

Similes and metaphors are very poor approximations to reality and lead to extreme views of the world. You have a cold heart or a warm one and your love gushes forth like an avalanche. What nonsense.

We have wallowed too long in a yes or no, black or white, for or against, love or hate, never or always, antonym or synonym, yin or yang, good or bad society approach to life when the real answer to questions should be almost all the time, not all the time, some of the time, or infrequently!

There is only humor in society because humans do stupid things and that is primarily because our language is so stupid and silly most of the time. Unfortunately language conveys an inaccurate view of reality which permits extreme beliefs and very emotional attachments to untrue opinions. Life should not be a joke but unfortunately language is a tragic joke on humans who suffer under its oppression and inhumanity.

Language is very verbose and emotional and very illogical. Literary works are pages of inaccurate information and emotional posturing which can frequently be summarized in a few topic sentences. There is no joy of reading except for the brainwashed older generation and it is no wonder that the younger generation prefers texting and with the help of the internet is quickly killing writing as a profession.

Prejudice abounds because all languages are emotionally biased to very provincial attitudes and the huge variety of languages in the world make worldwide communication and agreement among humans even harder to achieve.

Politicians don’t use logic but use emotionally charged words which you love or hate and create fear of the opposing party and create a hatred of humans who disagree with your point of view. Just what we need to lead a nation forward justly- emotionally antagonistic, charged leaders from opposing parties who can’t compromise or agree on anything of importance in society. Flawed illogical emotional language is the primary cause of all the political bullshit which we have to put up with.

Instead of discussing a family or relationship problem with a calm approach a problem frequently causes an argument where feelings are hurt and dissatisfaction and wanting revenge makes circumstances even worse.

Yelling and screaming and even sometimes shouting obscenities at offspring instead of firmly disciplining or discussing the situation is frequently a fact and is a sign of terrible parenting. All thanks to an emotional illogical language!!!!!!

Humans use this inefficient illogical emotional language worldwide and are trapped in a world of trivial inefficient selfish emotional pursuits which pollute the world unnecessarily and threaten biodiversity and so threaten human ultimate long duration survival in the world.

What is the solution to this seemingly uncurable handicap which current EMOTIONAL, mythological, and archaic language has burdened us with?

The solution is my evergreen book SCIENTIFIC THESAURUS which has unique logical definitions for every word used, has no synonyms, no antonyms, no multiple meanings, and few if any emotional words. It is a largely efficient logical language and my evergreen blogs are an example of its use. Yes, my blogs will not excite you or tantalize you or entertain you but they will supply you with the logical truth about most of the topics which I write about.

If you liked this evergreen blog then read more of them and read one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE.

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HOW TO AVOID CONFLICT WHEN COMMUNICATING

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Subset: n. thing

Someone’s beliefs may sound crazy to you but these people honestly believe subsets and have opinions which are completely illogical and unreasonable. It can be very difficult to listen to them coolly and maturely and respectfully. Pointing to the logical problems with their beliefs seldom helps. Understanding that another’s irrational beliefs were indoctrinated by bad historical myths and behaviors of their role models is smart. Live and let live without fighting about it is smart and silence is golden so don’t communicate about the wrong belief.

To determine whether an opinion is a strong belief or just an opinion potentially subject to change restate the opinion in your own words and ask. “Is it a strong belief or an opinion which we can discuss?” If the answer is that it is a strong belief then the probability that you will be able to change it is almost zero and there is no point in discussing it further.

An opinion is sometimes defended as strongly as a belief. If the opinion is important and about the functioning of the business then you should use as many examples as you can to show that your opinion is right for mutual benefit. If the opinion is about a topic which does not impact the business then don’t waste any time, energy, and money trying to change it. You can end a conversation about an emotionally intense but unimportant opinion by saying that we both have a right to our opinions even though we disagree.

Some communications start to break down with personal insults and name calling. If this happens to you stop the conversation or postpone it for a time when everyone has had a chance to cool down emotionally. “Sorry, I can’t continue the conversation” or “Let’s talk about this later or tomorrow” is the smart response to personal attacks.

Most people try to avoid conflict but this is not always possible. When in conflict with someone listen to them and you may find common ground. Try to make them understand your position by communicating understandably but firmly. One side may give in completely or a little or the conversation may increase emotionally but eventually there will be some conclusion even though it may only be a consensus that you each will remain with your own opinions or concepts.

Many employers are now using what can be called a verbal warning. The logic of a verbal warning is that it is an attempt to correct a problem before it becomes bad enough to make a formal action necessary. After getting a warning it is easy to become defensive and answer back with an objection but instead only listen to the bosses explanation with an open mind. Once you have heard the authoritative view on the subject and understand what led to the verbal warning then adjust your conversation and promise to correct your behavior if you now feel that it needs correcting.

You may want to complain to those with some power over you since we can’t always solve our own problems ourselves. Be careful not to bother someone with a problem they’re powerless to solve. Describe the problem thoroughly without exaggeration and try to only use the facts. Once you have told your supervisor the problem let them behave the best even though you may frequently disagree with their solution or solutions. If a better solution suddenly exists in your mind then offer it respectfully and see if your supervisor will approve or maintain the same opinion or same method to solve the problem.

All businesses have complaining customers. Listen carefully to the complaint to the very end since it will make the customer feel that they have been heard and understood. Continue with a question or two if you don’t understand the complaint right away. If you don’t have an immediate answer then consult with your coworkers who may have dealt with a similar problem. If your coworkers can’t solve the problem then take it to your supervisor.

One of life’s most flattering and stressful experiences is when someone asks you for constructive criticism. If you can help be honest and even tell the truth if it is bad news and not good news. Share your opinions and give them a chance to defend theirs. It’s even possible that you may change your mind. In the end what you can do is tell them the truth as you subjectively see it and they will either accept it or disagree even though sometimes in private.

Misunderstandings are common and you should try to easily avoid them. Don’t use random words but try to communicate as understandably and relevantly and politely as possible without emotional outbursts. Choosing the right truthful words should be enough but try to avoid using information which will make people feel intensely because they sincerely may not share your emotions or feelings on the subject.

Don’t express kindness and try to deceive people by trying to hide your personal feelings of superiority. This patronizing insults a person and tells them exactly what you really feel about them and unfortunately other people will have a tendency to react with approval to the patronizing.

Don’t talk to people when they say they are lucky or unlucky because luck should be a very small subset in your successful life and if you feel unlucky then it is usually your own fault that a subset didn’t work or perform as you wished.

When you ask what’s with a body subset such as a reddish eye or slurred speech be considerate because they are probably embarrassed before you communicate it. It may seem rude to start communicating the unpleasant fact but that is no reason why you can’t discuss it openly and honestly without implying disapproval.

Perhaps the hardest thing to master is to avoid conflict after easily saying NO or SORRY NO to a communication especially a favor. Justifying such a short answer can be very difficult. When we are asked to do a behavior which seems easy or enjoyable we frequently do it. Frequently saying yes to an asked favor can increase into unreasonable and impractical demands which sadly require you to create complete boundaries or you run the risk of becoming everybody’s servant and not getting paid for it.

Even if only your gut feeling is a NO answer without logical justification then say so because with enough time the NO will be accepted as a valid response without the need for revenge, enduring hurt feelings, and lingering disappointment. You also will be free of lingering regrets that you wrongly said Yes when the truthful answer should have been a NO.

The logical answer to every NO is that it is inefficient or a waste of your time, energy, money, or the wrong behavior which will waste someones time, energy, or money if the behavior is accepted and not changed or eliminated!!!!!!

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