Tag Archives: conversation

UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1213!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1127!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4200 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

23 WAYS TO BE A BETTER CONVERSATIONALIST!!!

One thing which is not always obvious or mentioned is that conversations between family members and close friends is a little different than good conversations between mere acquaintances or strangers. Taboo subjects such as politics, sex, and religion are usually off limits when talking to acquaintances or strangers but are acceptable topics to discuss with close friends or relatives. Revealing your personal weaknesses, secrets, and biases to close trusted humans is more acceptable without as much fear that this information will be used against you to damage your reputation.

That said there are 23 ways to be a better conversationalist in general:

Be a good listener since it shows an interest in what another is saying and makes another feel more important than they actually are. Some feel a good conversation should be 50/50 or that each should share about half of the conversation time but when talking to acquaintances or strangers your goal should be to learn as much about that human as possible and that means letting him or her do most of the talking. Try to show genuine interest without pretentiousness by listening and reacting accordingly or appropriately.

Don’t pontificate or dogmatically try to force your opinions and/or ideas on another. This aggressive approach will put the listener in defensive mode and cause them to try and avoid or terminate the conversation prematurely.

Use purposeful open ended questions beginning with who, what, where, when, how, and use how much to get an accurate degree of emotion, feeling, time, effort, devotion, commitment, quality, and quantity. This is better than just asking general questions about emotions and feelings or questions with only yes or no answers, both of which don’t encourage lengthier and more informative answers which is what you ideally want. Examples are- What drives you in life? What are your goals for next year? What inspired you to make the change?

If you don’t know how to answer a question or are ignorant on a topic then admit that you don’t know what to say or say that you will have to research it or think about it some more.

Be relatively brief and to the point and don’t get overly involved in giving too many or lengthy details and explanations which may be unnecessary.

Don’t assume that your experience and feelings on a topic are identical to theirs since most of us have had different experiences and feelings on varied topics. No two humans think or feel alike except perhaps for some rare couples who have been living and interacting much together for over 50 years.

Try not to repeat yourself or rephrase the same response many times or you will come across as being a little pushy and even annoying.

Try not to interrupt another while they speak unless they are excessively repeating themselves, boring, or talking too much with a lot of trivial information which is wasting your time and listening energy.

Go with the flow or don’t be too critical of another’s conversation style.

Try to choose subjects of mutual interest if possible and ask appropriate questions which will identify those subjects to further discuss.

Try to stay optimistic or positive with a minimum display of pessimism or negativism.

With strangers and acquaintances try to avoid overly emotional topics such as politics, sex, religion, relationship status, socioeconomic status, and physical appearance.

Advocate or say what you think and why followed by asking- How do you see it? to get a reaction, input, or feedback from them. Use follow up questions to get more useful information out.

Say the right thing or be honest, sincere, generally truthful, and not hurtful or say nothing at all.

Try to avoid small talk or chit chatting as much as possible and try to focus on more important or big talk topics.

Stay in conversation or discussion mode and don’t argue or debate which is a confrontational style and will put another in an angry and defensive or rejection mode.

Respect another’s privacy and try to avoid being overly critical or judgmental.

Give credit where credit is due and compliment accordingly.

Respect a person’s strongly held opinion and/or idea and both agree to disagree and continue the conversation with another topic.

Look for visual facial and body cues to assess the degree of interest in the conversation and switch to a different topic or prepare to end the conversation if you detect great disinterest.

Use examples to illustrate a point which you want to make.

Don’t brag about yourself or talk too much about your accomplishments since con artists and pretentious individuals are notorious for excessively conceited self-promotion and are no longer respected when the truth surfaces sooner or later.

Finally don’t be untruthful, pretentious, or hurtful since it will cause others to dislike you in the long duration since almost no one likes lying, deceptive, rude, and offensive humans.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4100 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

THE TRUTH ABOUT CONVERSATION*

Improving-Conversation-Skills-For-Men

Conversation: n. informally exchanging information by spoken words

The main problem with conversation is that it is usually inefficient, of a trivial nature, and too much of it exists in this world. Short and sweet and to the point is my personal preference since communication in nature is very efficient and doesn’t waste time, energy, and even money the way that human conversation does to a large extent.

Internet communication is not really conversation with the spoken word and is a primary reason why conversation skills are on the decline in society.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 2700 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

THE TRUTH ABOUT LISTENING

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Listen: v. to try to remember and/or consider a communication and permit the communicator to end a communication subset(s) before reacting

Frequently humans don’t like to be interrupted when talking and it is considered rude but there are smart ways of interrupting or trying to change the topic if the communication doesn’t seem to have an important point or if it is getting too lengthy. You can try changing to a new topic, delay the conversation for another time, or try to summarize what has been said so far and end the conversation prematurely.

If you have the luxury of time then you can listen to everything which is being said, briefly summarize what has been said, and ask follow up questions if necessary. This way the speaker will feel that their opinions and ideas have been respected even if you give short and sweet replies and don’t motivate the speaker to speak further.

In business where time is important being a good listener rather than a good talker is more important and all you have to really give is short and sweet replies. You will be more respected and appear smarter by being brief rather than by trying to impress someone with your wealth of knowledge and speaking longer than they do.

In relationships if you do less talking and really listen then you will be better able to understand their emotional state and the points which they try to communicate to you. Your responses will be more relevant and the quality of the conversation should improve.

I may be called biased but based on personal experience I feel that most women like to talk more than men and frequently want to share their emotional social experiences in sometimes dramatic and lengthy ways. An emotional talkative woman is a fact of life which most males have to live with or adapt to.

I have learned much in life by listening and reading what others have to say and have learned to be very selective in what I read and whom I ask questions to and about what topics.  

After a lifetime of wading through much verbosity, deception, and lies a headline is all that I have to read to know if the content interests me. I only enjoy talking to professionals from whom I can extract new valuable information and insights.

My never ending quest for truth and useful knowledge goes on. Some may accuse me of verbosity or excessive talkativeness for writing about 800 blogs in a year and a half but those are the fruits of a lifetime of logically analyzing and recording important information about nature and human and social behavior.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 800 so far, and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially  COMMON SENSErays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

HOW TO COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY WITH A WOMAN OR MAN

Communication

Before you try to start a relationship with someone make sure that you are ready to start one.

If you are single and unemployed without money and no potentially good plans for the future then you should stay single and not even try to start up a relationship because you will crash and burn unless you are a super attractive sexy female .

When you communicate then do so with honesty, sincerity, and reliability. No serious woman  or man wants a BS artist who makes up stories which aren’t true and is unreliable and doesn’t show up on time for appointments or doesn’t follow through on promises made.

If you want to be respected and admired by any human then you must start by trying to establish a trustworthy relationship and that means not lying and not being unreliable.

Everyone wants to be complimented on their looks, have their beliefs and opinions reinforced, and feel good about what they are doing in life. If you compliment then be sincere about it and don’t make it seem that you think everything she or he does or thinks is the greatest thing in the world.

If your compliments are not sincere then they will think that you are just buttering them up so that you can get anything you want out of them. Overblown compliments may work in the short duration but your insincerity will have devastating effects later on.

Most women like to feel secure and you must speak confidently and decisively with a sense of self-worth. If your present life is a mess and you don’t know how to fix it then you are not going to radiate confidence and decisiveness and if you do it will be pretentious and a lie.

Be caring and that means verbally supporting a career as well as yours, supporting plans for the future, and supporting good opinions and beliefs which you agree with. You don’t have to agree with all his or her opinions but do if they are important ones.

Sharing or talking about both the good and bad experiences in life is important and it is the best way to really get to know a human. Sharing is a risk because you may reveal something which will create distance between the both of you but if you are interested in a long duration relationship then it is better for the bad things to surface so that you won’t have any unpleasant surprises if you decide to commit to the relationship with marriage later on.

When you ask how his or her day was listen carefully and respond appropriately supporting emotionally where appropriate and show that you really care about any expressed feelings and the daily routine which sometimes has unsatisfying moments.

Men sometimes have a hard time dealing with feelings and picking up on them during a conversation so many men unfortunately are handicapped emotionally and if you are a woman then you will have to be a little more understanding about this weakness.

If you get angry or want to yell and scream then don’t. Try to stay as emotionally calm and under control as possible.

Discussion and a controlled interchange is far preferable to an angry confrontation which is a verbal war or fighting. A healthy relationship means trying to reach mutual agreement on something or agreeing to a difference of opinion but not confrontational fighting tooth and nail to try and win an argument at any cost.

No one is perfect and if you make a mistake or do something bad then admit it and apologize and accept the blame. Sometimes if you don’t know how to compensate for your offense then ask if she or he has an opinion on how you can make up for your blunder.

Be careful not to promise that it won’t happen again if you think there is a great possibility that it might happen again because you don’t want to lie.

Good conversation should be a two way street and you should not spend most of it only talking about yourself and what you think is important in life. Back and forth talking is the best where you listen carefully and give appropriate feedback to what you have heard.

It is still a fact of life that most women like to talk more than men so if you are a man of few words then learn to become a good listener and when you respond make it short and sweet and to the point.

CONCLUSION:

There are important foundations to a good relationship and one of the most important foundations is the ability to have successful, honest, sincere two way conversations about experiences, opinions and beliefs, and emotions.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

Enjoy!!!!!!

HOW TO HANDLE FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS

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Challenge a firmly held opinion or belief or aggressively criticize another human and angry emotions will almost always appear. Trying to convince one that you are right and that they are wrong takes much skillful conversation when it is only a mistake and it is mission impossible if it is a strong belief.

Probe gently for someone’s mindset before you arrogantly proceed to voice your strong opinion or belief. Some subjects such as politics, religion, and sports infrequently lead to logical discussions but can quickly escalate into emotional confrontations instead. Avoid sensitive subjects unless they become serious important problems in your life.

If you are not sure about how a human feels about a sensitive subject but want to know then gently ask “How do you feel about ______? If you greatly disagree with the feeling then just say OK and don’t pursue the subject any further.

No matter how cool we try to be we can get upset sometimes. Yelling, ranting, and throwing a tantrum will just cause bad emotions in other humans and won’t make you feel any better after showing your emotions. The best action is to slow down and breathe deeply and try to do more thinking when you feel that you have emotionally upset someone. Remember no one is stress free and everybody has to deal with their own stress as effectively as possible. Try to be the calmer one in any emotional flareup and your words will usually be more respected and not as offensive.

There are many ways to make someone feel uncomfortable and this is frequently done in emotionally misleading and accidental behaviors. One can cause discomfort by asking one to do something that they don’t want to do. Discomfort is also caused by doing something which one finds upsetting. If you insist on discussing a topic that humans don’t want to discuss this effectively makes someone very uncomfortable.

It is almost impossible to decrease irrational anger. When humans get angry for irrational reasons calmly and respectfully listen to their grievance but remember that it will not be easy because intense irrational anger will make you want to respond as angrily. Don’t try to reason with them because they are in no mood to be rational. Don’t offer an insincere apology but try to find some action of yours which made them angry in the first place which you do regret and apologize for that.

Be careful when you joke about something because even the best jokes may be taken seriously which becomes painful and awkward. If you insist on humor in your conversation then build on the joke and make it more extreme until it is obvious that you must be joking. If your attempt at humor fails then admit that you are joking before the circumstance gets worse. Many people don’t get jokes so rarely joke or better yet don’t joke if you want a conversation to proceed smoothly and logically.

Jokes frequently destroy the boundary between logic and nonsense and some push a joke too much. A courtesy laugh will only motivate the joker to push more so avoid an untrue laugh. Express confusion and communicate in your own words what the joke meant to you and that you honestly tried to understand it. They may analyze the joke and you will feel that it was somewhat funny or it may reveal how their brain works humorously. Jokes frequently make fun out of human frailty and errors so it is best to ignore a joke that you don’t understand or disagree with.

Don’t joke at the opposite sex.  There are differences between men and women but making fun of one gender is a communication that somehow your gender is superior to the other gender and this is nonsense which is overly prejudicial and biased. Most women are more emotional and social and talkative and caring than most men but that should be no reason to make fun of them since nature programmed them to be different for the benefit of the offspring. It takes a good man and a good woman(s) to raise offspring in a balanced and healthy way as nature programmed.

Never hide an insult and pretend a compliment because no one likes to be deceived.

Though most of us probably feel that we are above feelings of jealousy, occasionally we may experience them. If this exists then try to convince yourself that the object of your jealousy is not as desirable as it seems. Instead focus on how lucky you are and on the things which are right with your life. Jealousy is primarily experienced by the economically poor in this society which puts so much importance  on the possession of many material possessions.

Jealousy of attractive humans is rampant in a society which puts more value upon beauty than on health and smarts and is the reason why so many are obsessed irrationally with their looks.

Frequently you must reveal a personally shocking truth to someone who is not ready for the truth so their minds must be carefully prepared to hear it. Don’t hit them with the complete truth at once but try to present it in smaller and slightly less shocking chunks. Evidence in small chunks and then the complete evidence will make a mind naturally rebel from that much truth but it is necessary that you maintain your honest reputation despite shock to the listener. A person will reflect upon the confrontation later and continue to respect you for being honest and your good reputation in their subjective biased minds will be maintained.

Being honest, sincere, and reliable will ensure that a strong bond continues in a relationship even after many arguments which should decrease in quantity as time passes if you continue to maintain a trustworthy relationship despite the arguments.

If you liked this evergreen blog read more of them and read one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE.

Enjoy!!!!!!