Tag Archives: dating

DATING!!!

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Dating is mostly an art with little science and it basically involves good conversations where you find out important facts or fictions about your date hopefully ahead of the date and definitely during a date. If you are not a good conversationalist then you should at least learn how to ask the right relevant questions, listen intently, and follow this up with appropriate responses to the answers.

Once you learn what to ask a potential date or actual date you can then proceed to practice your new skill set in real life assuming that you have some prerequisites. Preparation for dating is of utmost importance. If you have a lousy job or not job at all and have a lousy personality with bad communications skills then frankly you are not a good date until you get your shit together. Once you can function well independently financially your confidence should grow and you will develop self confidence which will greatly increase your attractiveness factor assuming that you are not an ass hole.

The key to successful dating is being a woman a man needs and being a man a woman needs! If you have integrity, are moral, trustworthy, dependable, competent, friendly, encouraging, and have a good job then you are someone a spouse needs. Yes, realize that this is an ideal standard and many of us do not meet all these requirements for a long duration marriage. So spend your young adulthood trying to meet those standards as much as possible before you commit your life to a hopefully enduring relationship.

This book should improve your communications skills, show you how to create good first impressions, and eventually become a good date. What you actually do with this detailed information is ultimately up to you. Best wishes. Uldis

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 5000 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1645!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 5000 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

INTERNET OR TEXTING COMMUNICATIONS WITH MEN BEFORE THE FIRST DATE!!!

Before offering advice on communicating with potential dates on the internet or with texting it is important to state why so much of the communication is unsuccessful.

 

One major reason that successful communication is so difficult is that there are many males and some females who are deceptive and lie over the internet posing as someone who they really are not. They basically are afraid to reveal who they truly are because they fear that they won’t be physically attractive enough or financially well off enough. They may try to post fake pictures and claim to hold down great jobs when in reality they are average looking and unemployed or working at minimum wage. So try not to be gullible and maintain a healthy suspicion if he sounds too good to be true.

 

The second reason that successful internet communication is so difficult is that most of the males and also females are really not ready for serious dating. The primary reasons may be because of no job or poor income and any real attempts at dating usually result in very disappointing colossal failures because serious dating usually consumes much time, energy, and money.

 

Your whole purpose for texting or communicating with men should be to eventually find out if they are going to be a good marital or business partner. You may be a modern promiscuous female just having fun and falsely assuming that what all men really want is immediate sexual intimacy. You may honestly feel that sex should be given to any male that interests you greatly and you will find many playboy males who want to show you a good time but no eventual commitment.

 

Texting or meeting a new human face to face for the first time is basically the same approach. You want to quickly find out if the man is going to be a good potential friend or mate without being too flirtatious or beating around the bush. If the man is just texting or searching for naïve females to take advantage of them sexually then it is better to find out the truth as soon as possible rather than beat around the bush with vague and emotionally fulfilling communications.

 

You ideally want a male who has integrity, is trustworthy, is dependable, is competent, and a good communicator. He should be someone who is not afraid to answer tough and eventually somewhat personal questions so don’t be afraid to ask tough questions and eventually some rather personal questions. You want men with the courage to confront almost any question that you may ask. If you feel that you may have offended him with some comment then quickly apologize and move on in the relationship as long as it lasts.

 

If you are an average looking female without a college education hoping to land a successful college educated male with a good career or job then you are usually wasting your time. If you are a college educated woman with a good career or job then beware of males without adequate education who have no job or very poor ones, especially if they are very handsome. The old saying is still basically true that “birds of a feather flock together” so try to stay away from males outside your comfort and educational zone unless you are extremely attractive and sexy.

 

In effect don’t aim too high and don’t aim too low in desperate fashion because the probability of making the right long duration connection with a male is rather low or remote over the internet or in person.

 

Here are some suggested questions to ask:

 

What do you do for a living?

This question may frighten away many males who have no job or poor ones and that is precisely the reason for the question because you don’t want to waste your time and energy on a financially poor male. If the male has a good job then he will be very willing to tell you about it and maybe brag a little. Talking about his job is a good way to boost his ego with further follow up questions about the job.

Have you always done x for a living?

This is a good follow up question to the first one because you can maybe catch a male in a lie about his job or profession if his prior jobs do not fit his current job status plausibly.

Are you a local?

Long distance relationships fail quite frequently so unless you have the money to travel stay with potential local relationships and stay away from long distance ones.

Long distance relationships are like exciting honeymoons every time you briefly meet physically and are very deceptive indicators of lasting happiness. If you or the male move and live together for a year you may decide that the relationship was never meant to be a lasting one.

What do you do in your free time?

This question will reveal whether the male is just vegetating or doing some interesting things to fill his free time such as trying to improve himself or mostly spending his money on rather trivial pursuits.

Do you have any hobbies?

A good mate is one who usually has a life outside of work so hobbies are one way of determining where his interests also lie outside of work.

How long have you had that hobby?

Some men will brag and maybe deceive females into thinking that they have expensive and interesting hobbies so this is a way to find out if he is deceiving you or has had the hobby for a relatively long time.

Do you have any children?

This question and theme will eventually find out if he is recently divorced or maybe is still married.

 

After these few initial questions you can end the first or initial interaction until the next time when you can continue to probe deeper with more personal questions.

 

Do you like your job?

If he doesn’t like his job then you can ask a follow up question and ask if he is going to do anything about a lousy job. You can find out if he has bigger plans or will be stuck in a miserable job on into the near foreseeable future.

How long have you lived here?

You will find out if he is a native local or someone relocating due to job or other reasons.

Do you have many friends?

You can find out if he is somewhat of an extrovert or maybe an introvert with few friends and maybe only one close friend.

What are your future plans?

This will reveal whether the male has some ambition or has too much unrealistic ambition and is vainly hoping to become a celebrity star in some field.

What interesting places have you travelled to?

You can find out if his interests are local or international in scope. A follow up question would be -Where would you like to travel to if you had the opportunity?

What is your favorite food or drink?

Eating is a universal pleasurable pastime and you can find out whether he cooks himself, is a junk food addict, one eating much organic food, or a food gourmet going to restaurants.

Are you on Facebook or Instagram?

You can determine how deeply into social media he is with follow up questions.

After determining whether they are a potential future friend or mate ask for personal information such as an email or telephone number and use phrases such as- It was great talking to you. It would be nice if we kept in touch. What is your email or cellphone number?

Finally, before an actual first date it is important to call the man and speak to him over the phone verbally. You will usually find out pretty quickly if he is the same man on the phone as he is on the internet. Voice fluctuations and his ability to think on his feet instantaneously will become apparent with a phone call and you can often sense if the right vibes are there for actual first date attempts.

 

 

The next questions and some direct quotes with some variations are based on Matthew Hussey’s article “9 Magic Texts No Man Can Resist”. Frankly you should be suspicious of any article with the term Magic in it and celebrity Hussey is guilty of misleading a mass audience of women in this instance.

 

When he asks you what you’re up to?

 

If you are doing something interesting or have plans to do something which doesn’t sound boring then tell him honestly what you are up to. If you are up to nothing then you can say “I’m taking a shower and will head out later.” If he follows up with “where are you going to head out?” then you had better be prepared to tell him where or he will suspect that you are lying. That is why it is important to be as truthful as possible and not be lying or deceptive in your answers.

If you don’t think that you are a very interesting human doing interesting things then stay single and start on a course of self improvement before you seriously try to make internet connections with males.

 

“Just bought this. What do you think?”

 

Men are visual creatures and will respond to a picture of you which is attractive but not overly sexy. He will probably compliment you in some way and it is an opportunity to find out if it is a sincere compliment or an exaggerated and insincere one.

 

“You should be here right now.”

 

This suggests that you would want him to be where you are because seemingly something interesting or exciting is going on. Once again he could ask why? Then you will be in a bind if you are not doing anything interesting or exciting. Once again vague statements can be intriguing and good sources for follow up communication but you should be ready to explain or state WHY or you will come across as a deceptive fraud if you aren’t doing anything interesting or exciting.

 

“I just had an incredible burger! Almost sexual.”

 

Men like food so a tasty food discovery is always an exciting event. However, be careful about inserting sexual in your phrase unless you may want to get personally sexually intimate in the near future. These days women are more promiscuous than in earlier times but I would reserve sexual intimacy for men who are potentially good marriage partners and you have known them long enough to feel that they are potential good marital partners.

 

“This jacket would look attractive on you.”

 

You could use the same sentence with “look HOT on you” but that has sexual connotations and should be used only if you think he considers you more as a friend than a romantic relationship. Using the word hot can be considered sexual baiting if you don’t intend to get sexual with him any time soon.

 

“As hot as you are, I don’t move that fast.” “But I would be happy to see your handsome face if you want to take me on a date this or next week.”

“Let’s start out as friends and consider sexual intimacy when and if we become close friends.” “ But I would be happy to see your handsome face if you want to take me on a date this or next week.” (This is an honest smart response designed for a smart male.”

This is a good way to turn away a premature sexual advance yet convey your opinion that he is sexually attractive but you are not ready to get sexually intimate. Whether you believe it or not men who are interested in a future wife don’t want one that is sexually promiscuous or one who is overly free with her sexual intimacy. If you develop a reputation as a woman who sleeps around a lot then you will attract many noncommittal males.

 

“I am not sure we can be friends anymore”

 

This can either mean that you are breaking up the friendship or you want the relationship to develop past the friendship phase. You may be asked WHY so make sure that you have a truthful answer which makes sense. “I want our relationship to become more exclusive because my feelings for you are becoming rather intense.” or “I want a more exclusive relationship with you.”  or “I think I may be falling in love with you.”

Conclusion:

Being honest and expecting honesty should be the guiding principle in any male female interaction. If the male is caught in an intentional lie or is being intentionally deceptive about something important then drop him like a hot potato. Trust is the bond which makes for lasting relationships. Start lying and trust breaks down and there is no good relationship.

Make sure first that you are a woman a man needs and make sure the man is someone you need beyond just a mere sugar daddy or a man financially well off.

You want a male who appreciates you for who you are and who you are hoping to become. Stay single until you are genuinely a good catch for a male that fits your idea of a good father who will be a parent to your future offspring. Ideally he should be a motivating or encouraging, confident, interesting personality who will grow with you in a relationship and in life skills and not become a repetitive uninteresting bore stagnating in life.

STAY SINGLE until you have much more to offer in a relationship than just your vagina! If you want someone with integrity or morality and honesty, trustworthiness, dependability, competence, and with a good job then be someone with integrity, trustworthiness, dependability, competence, and a good job. Yes, many men ideally prefer beautiful, sexy, females but few can realistically afford them because they are usually high maintenance.

Promiscuity is a great enemy to lasting marital relationships. Promiscuity is a bad addictive habit. Adultery is almost inevitable in formerly promiscuous males and females. My opinions on dating may seem conservative and traditional in many ways but they are tried and true techniques which seldom fail in real life in the long duration. Give in to the promiscuity temptation and you are very likely to join the vast number of eventual failed marriages in the modern world if you get that far.

Due to economic uncertainty and a premium on technological jobs, if you are the average liberal arts major then plan for a rather poor single existence for a relatively long duration. Many are choosing to continue living with their parents if permitted after graduation and becoming financially independent and living on your own is becoming increasingly difficult.

Female biological clocks are always ticking but rushing into a marriage in desperation is often a formula for failure and much sustained misery in life.

As long as you are slowly trying to improve yourself in an enthusiastic, determined way then the odds for landing a good future male also increase. Above everything else, never stop trying to get better because a better man should eventually pop up in your life and decide to stay.

My sister in law had quite a few failed relationships in her life until she met her  husband at the age of 50. Yes, she will never have offspring of her own but she is finally married and it seems happily married for the time being. Those prior men frankly primarily used her for sex and never intended to make a long duration commitment.

Some women may feel that being used sexually is better than being ignored but that is not a recipe for long duration happiness for most females.

No one is the final authority on dating in the modern world including myself. Humans vary widely in looks, abilities, and circumstances. Use your own further research to find dating pointers from other sources which maybe fit your own view of male female relationships better. Some relationships can be quite playful with their share of bullshit so adjust your dating to some males who are a little on the risky side if you want some unpredictability and excitement in a relationship.

There is another saying that “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.” It basically means that you should take calculated risks occasionally or you will not gain anything or gain useful knowledge, experience, and achievement. Take a chance and you might succeed or at least learn from the failure and get more emotional intelligence about human males and humans in general.

I offer the following link for all those who have not analyzed themselves or have not taken the time to know themselves. You will find out that it greatly helps to know yourself before you try to improve yourself which is what life should be all about if you want to be happy in the long duration.

https://uldissprogis.com/2017/12/22/analyzing-yourself-to-know-thyself/

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

10 THINGS TO TRY AND AVOID ON DATES, ESPECIALLY FIRST DATES!!!

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Sincere compliments and appropriate praise for looks and opinions makes most women feel good. If you have a good job and are a good conversationalist who knows how to show interest in a woman by asking questions and listening more than speaking about yourself then this is also a good thing to do on a first date. Your strengths and some of your weaknesses will all eventually come out in follow up conversations or dates so being sincerely honest will go a long way towards establishing trust and creating possible strong bonding with the opposite sex or significant other.

If you are handsome and merely trying to deceptively score on an attractive but gullible woman then the rules are different but I won’t reveal them because I am not interested in promoting sleaze bag behavior.

Melanie Curtin is a relatively smart woman and if smarts interest you more than just looks then here are 10 things which you should try to avoid doing since they are turn offs for most smart women.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/melanie-curtin/ten-things-to-avoid-when-_b_3447210.html

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

GETTING MARRIED? DISCUSS THESE 15 IMPORTANT THINGS!!!

 

preparing-marriage

Before getting married you should ask these 15 questions and avoid unnecessary conflict and misunderstandings later in marriage. There is nothing better than thoroughly understanding WHAT YOU WANT and WHEN YOU WANT IT in a marriage and mutually agreeing to it.

Here is an excellent article by Wendy Atterberry-

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/wendy-atterberry/15-things-every-couple-mu_b_5638629.html

If you like this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 900 so far, and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

ARE YOU MARRIAGE MATERIAL OR A ONE NIGHT STAND???

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If you have a poor job, bad personality, a bad education, and bad communication skills then chances are you are a one night stand.

You can improve your job and improve your education with much personal invested time, effort, and achievement. If you have a bad personality or bad communication skills and are a young adult then the chances that you will change this for the better are rather small and improbable because bad social habits are very hard to change in adulthood.

If you are honest, sincere, dependable, trustworthy, somewhat caring, and competent with a good paying job then chances are you are marriage material if you do not have a history of being promiscuous or unfaithful.

If your looks, personality, communication skills, education, and dynamic goal oriented lifestyle are not enough to attract someone on more than a handful of dates without sex then you should seriously consider improving your non sexual characteristics which are the bonds which will keep a relationship going in the long duration.

Try to use sex as the primary attractant and you will fail miserably in a close long duration trusting relationship. Even serious marriage minded males do not want a promiscuous liberated female or one who gives sex freely with no strings attached.

Online dating and most dating can be a very frustrating and disappointing in an increasingly promiscuous hedonistic culture. Many are victimized by social brainwashing which encourages irresponsible behavior or the live for today party mentality. Good marriage material in western cultures is becoming increasingly rare so don’t be too disappointed if you aren’t finding any good marriage material these days who can commit for a long duration responsibly.

CONCLUSION:

Be honest, sincere, dependable, trustworthy, competent, somewhat caring, and faithful and try to associate with humans who also have those fundamental important characteristics since most will have similar minded friends. In effect, try to associate with humans who are also marriage material. If you have surrounded yourself with humans who are one night stands then don’t be too surprised if you have become or are one of them!!!!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 900 so far, and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

THE TRUTH ABOUT COMPATIBILITY

Red white hearts valentine for bath or shower

Compatibility: n. interacting with minimal conflict and/or two or more subsets functioning efficiently together

Frequently the question arises. How compatible am I with this human? If you have minimal conflicts with the human then chances are that you are compatible.  Many conflicts, arguments, strong disagreements, and immoral behavior probably means that you are incompatible and should be associating with other humans with which you don’t have so many differences.

Incompatibility may also mean that your difference in educational level and interests are so different that a compatible relationship is just not possible on an intimate level.

In the real world of imperfect human compatibility many humans can live with an average amount of incompatibility or differences since we are not perfectly compatible machines. Efficient human interaction demands a considerable amount of compatibility and unfortunately most of us do not realistically meet those efficiency standards.

If you are incompatible with a human(s) then you are not functioning efficiently with that human(s) and you should either change your behavior radically or have minimal interactions with that human(s) because your interactions will be largely dysfunctional.

Device compatibility is a measure of how efficiently the devices can function together to perform a function(s).

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, approximately 700 so far, and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

Enjoy!!!!!!

QUESTIONS WHICH ARE BETTER THAN FUNNY OR CLEVER PICKUP LINES!!!

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You look great. I would like to know you better if you’re single like me?

Excuse me, are you single like me?

Excuse me, do you have 30 seconds of free time? I’m interested and single.

Hi. My name is___ and I am interested in you if you’re single like me?

You caught my eye and I would like to know if you’re single like me?

 

If you find out the person is not single then you could sometimes ask them-Do you have any single friends? It may seem like you are a little desperate but as the old saying goes- nothing ventured, nothing gained.

 

Sometimes indirect questions can be used without using the word single in the first sentence.

 

Excuse me, where did you buy that nice outfit?

Excuse me, are you from out of town?

I’ve seen you before. Do you live in ___ or here?

Do you come here often?

 

You can also start out with a statement and follow it up with questions.

 

Excuse me, I would like to spend a few minutes getting to know something about you.       Follow this up with questions such as- Are you single? What do you like to do the most? What do you hate the most? Are you employed? etc.

 

 

Remember an honest, sincere, to the point question preceded by excusing yourself first is the polite way to introduce yourself to someone who is a total stranger.

 

Almost everyone likes to be flattered a little so you can start off by giving a sincere not overly inflated compliment for looks. That’s an attractive outfit. Are you single like me? She or he may be beautiful or handsome but not using the superlative will make them think that you are interested in more than just their beauty or handsomeness and maybe even feel a little perplexed why you didn’t instantaneously call them beautiful or handsome since that is the standard response which they get from most humans.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, approximately 600 so far, and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

Enjoy!!!!!!

 

11 SIGNS OF A BAD RELATIONSHIP

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You sense that you will have to change too much to make your partner happy.

You are finding that making yourself a mirror image of your partner’s activities, opinions, and beliefs is the only thing which seems to make your partner happy.

If none of your family members approve of your partner then it is an indication that he or she will clash with your fundamental values latter in the relationship and you will probably eventually be unhappy with the relationship too.

You can’t trust your partner to be alone and are always suspicious of what they may be up to that you don’t approve of. You basically don’t have an honest, sincere, and reliable or trustworthy relationship.

If your partner is censoring all your relationships with others and gives you little freedom to make your own decisions then you may have entered a tyrannical relationship and it is even worse if they try to control what you do or say.

You can’t seem to get a good balance for “me” and “we” time.

Your partner is always chronically unemployed.

Your partner has a serious addiction or compulsive bad habit such as compulsive shopping, gambling, pornography, alcoholism, drug abuse, lying, or is promiscuous.

You argue frequently and even fight about both unimportant and important things and almost never seem to resolve, solve, or compromise on any of the things which you argue about.

You are sexually incompatible.

Your partner has mostly bad friends or a bad family which you intensely dislike.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, approximately 600 so far, and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

Enjoy!!!!!!

THE TRUTH ABOUT DATING

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If you have a good job, are attractive, communicate well, share common morals, and generally have the same education or social background then you should have more success in online or offline dating. For more detailed information about dating use these 8 links to gain expert knowledge about how to date.

https://uldissprogis.com/2013/04/21/online-dating-tips-for-adults/

https://uldissprogis.com/2014/01/04/what-to-ask-on-a-first-date/

https://uldissprogis.com/2013/12/13/16-questions-you-can-ask-on-a-first-date-or-online-before-the-first-date/

https://uldissprogis.com/2013/06/17/8-classifications-of-online-and-offline-daters-which-one-are-you/

https://uldissprogis.com/2013/04/18/11-hints-you-are-probably-not-ready-for-a-serious-dating-relationship/

https://uldissprogis.com/2013/11/23/are-you-dating-a-responsible-caring-real-man/

https://uldissprogis.com/2013/10/06/5-types-of-women-smart-men-should-avoid-when-dating/

https://uldissprogis.com/2013/07/18/12-dating-mistakes-women-make/

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

Enjoy!!!!!!

HOW TO COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY WITH A WOMAN OR MAN

Communication

Before you try to start a relationship with someone make sure that you are ready to start one.

If you are single and unemployed without money and no potentially good plans for the future then you should stay single and not even try to start up a relationship because you will crash and burn unless you are a super attractive sexy female .

When you communicate then do so with honesty, sincerity, and reliability. No serious woman  or man wants a BS artist who makes up stories which aren’t true and is unreliable and doesn’t show up on time for appointments or doesn’t follow through on promises made.

If you want to be respected and admired by any human then you must start by trying to establish a trustworthy relationship and that means not lying and not being unreliable.

Everyone wants to be complimented on their looks, have their beliefs and opinions reinforced, and feel good about what they are doing in life. If you compliment then be sincere about it and don’t make it seem that you think everything she or he does or thinks is the greatest thing in the world.

If your compliments are not sincere then they will think that you are just buttering them up so that you can get anything you want out of them. Overblown compliments may work in the short duration but your insincerity will have devastating effects later on.

Most women like to feel secure and you must speak confidently and decisively with a sense of self-worth. If your present life is a mess and you don’t know how to fix it then you are not going to radiate confidence and decisiveness and if you do it will be pretentious and a lie.

Be caring and that means verbally supporting a career as well as yours, supporting plans for the future, and supporting good opinions and beliefs which you agree with. You don’t have to agree with all his or her opinions but do if they are important ones.

Sharing or talking about both the good and bad experiences in life is important and it is the best way to really get to know a human. Sharing is a risk because you may reveal something which will create distance between the both of you but if you are interested in a long duration relationship then it is better for the bad things to surface so that you won’t have any unpleasant surprises if you decide to commit to the relationship with marriage later on.

When you ask how his or her day was listen carefully and respond appropriately supporting emotionally where appropriate and show that you really care about any expressed feelings and the daily routine which sometimes has unsatisfying moments.

Men sometimes have a hard time dealing with feelings and picking up on them during a conversation so many men unfortunately are handicapped emotionally and if you are a woman then you will have to be a little more understanding about this weakness.

If you get angry or want to yell and scream then don’t. Try to stay as emotionally calm and under control as possible.

Discussion and a controlled interchange is far preferable to an angry confrontation which is a verbal war or fighting. A healthy relationship means trying to reach mutual agreement on something or agreeing to a difference of opinion but not confrontational fighting tooth and nail to try and win an argument at any cost.

No one is perfect and if you make a mistake or do something bad then admit it and apologize and accept the blame. Sometimes if you don’t know how to compensate for your offense then ask if she or he has an opinion on how you can make up for your blunder.

Be careful not to promise that it won’t happen again if you think there is a great possibility that it might happen again because you don’t want to lie.

Good conversation should be a two way street and you should not spend most of it only talking about yourself and what you think is important in life. Back and forth talking is the best where you listen carefully and give appropriate feedback to what you have heard.

It is still a fact of life that most women like to talk more than men so if you are a man of few words then learn to become a good listener and when you respond make it short and sweet and to the point.

CONCLUSION:

There are important foundations to a good relationship and one of the most important foundations is the ability to have successful, honest, sincere two way conversations about experiences, opinions and beliefs, and emotions.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

Enjoy!!!!!!

WHAT TO ASK ON A FIRST DATE

online-dating-apps

Asking questions on a first date is important but you should try and avoid making it an interrogation with questions that are very personal and may be considered offensive or overly aggressive. Make the questions as open ended as possible with freedom to answer or not to answer.

Remember most dates are interested in themselves, their close friends, sometimes their family, and frequently in the entertainment which they enjoy or something that they like to do.

Most dates are a little anxious about how they look to someone. Start off by complimenting the date on personal looks or attire but don’t come on too strong by saying something stupid like “you are the most beautiful woman or the most handsome man that I have ever met”. Rather say “You look very attractive today and I like your hairstyle and outfit”.  If they think that they are beautiful or handsome they will wonder why you didn’t use those superlatives and may sense that you are interested in them more than just for their looks. If your date is not that beautiful or handsome then it will be an honest truthful compliment and not overblown.

Follow this up with a general question. “How was your day?” If they had a bad day then empathize with them with a phrase such as “I know how you must feel” and maybe share a bad day that you may have had in the recent past. An ability to share the bad moments as well as the good is a desirable characteristic to have.

“What are some of your favorite pastimes?” or “What are some of the things that you love to do?” The point here is to find out if you have common loves or things that you both like a lot. If you are not getting any good responses then you can try being more specific and ask “What are your favorite songs, movies, hobbies, sports, etc.?” If you find that you have many activities that you mutually enjoy doing the date will probably be a success and if your likes are very different and maybe unacceptable then you will not be wasting more time on a second date finding out that your interests and loves are really worlds apart and not just acceptable male female differing priorities.

“Do you have any close friends?” This will give you an opportunity to find out if they are loaners or rather sociable. You will get a good idea of what type of personalities your date likes to associate with since birds of a feather frequently flock together.  If you also have a few close friends then you can share some short details about them.

“Are you close with your family?” This question will offer you the opportunity to find out if your date comes from a loving family or from one with problems and maybe a divorce or two. If you both come from good families you can start sharing some of your best moments with them. If one of you comes from a dysfunctional family then it is best to leave it on the burner and return to the topic during another date later on because you want your first date to be as positive as possible with no negative vibes.

“Do you like your job?” is a question which can lead into a discussion of future job plans or just what your date might envision doing 2,5, or 10 years from now.

“Do you have any plans for the future?” Ask what is going on in their life now and try to find out what they would like to do with their lives in the future. If your future plans are not your dates and they clash then maybe you should consider dating someone else.

More can be written about first date conversations but the above information should keep you from freezing up on the first date and appearing fearful, boring, or a bad conversationalist.

Dates want to know if you are interested in them and it is best to ask most of the questions and spend most of your time listening carefully to the responses. Then answer appropriately without trying to become the center of attention and just talking about yourself which is a real turnoff for the one who has to listen to your selfish self-absorption. A conversation should be a two way street with women frequently doing most of the talking. An overly talkative male is a sign that he probably just cares mostly about himself or is overly assertive and is trying to impress you with what great possessions and life he has.

Above all else try to be as honest, sincere, and caring as possible because if you start to lie about one or more things to your date those things will come back to haunt you at a later time and the possibility of a trustworthy bonding relationship developing smoothly will be destroyed. If you can’t trust someone then a close friendship or marital relationship will not develop.

Of course you can ask these questions online before you even date and save a lot of time, energy, and money by not going on a blind date!!!!!!

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Enjoy!!!!!!

4 MAJOR REASONS YOU ARE PROBABLY STILL SINGLE!!!!

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1. You don’t make enough money or have no job, 2. you are too devoted to your career and single lifestyle, 3. you lie and cheat, or 4. you are to blame because you have a severe personality flaw(s), are ugly, or very unhealthy.

Plastic surgery is an option if you are ugly. If eating certified organic food does not improve your health then you will have to find someone who takes pity on you and thinks that your other good assets are enough to continue a serious relationship.

If you have a severe personality flaw(s) then it will be very hard to change it but being aware that you have one or two bad personality flaws may eventually cause you to try and change the situation if it is interfering seriously with good relationships with a significant other.

In a nutshell you are probably single because you have severe personality flaws which you are not aware of OR you are aware of your severe flaws and are trying to hide them OR you don’t have the courage and don’t make the effort to correct your flaws.

Here are 7 possible reasons why you still may be single and with considerable effort          you can maybe change for the better.

You have been hurt badly in previous relationships and are gun shy or very defensive

Having relatively emotionless and negligent parents or caretakers may leave you not knowing how to deal with affectionate humans and may severely handicap your ability to successfully reciprocate loving and affectionate gestures.

You may also have been involved in a seemingly close relationship only to discover that you were suddenly abandoned for someone else who was more appealing thus hurting your sense of selfworth and willingness to trust your next potential good relationship.

Maybe you have a series of failed relationships and you are becoming frustrated at the prospect of another failure so you choose not to pursue as many new ones as you should.

If you have not analyzed why your relationships fail and attempt to correct those mistakes or flaws then your string of failures will just continue.

If you have a good job and are not fanatically devoted to it, are not ugly or ill, are a moral human who doesn’t lie or cheat, do not have serious personality flaws, and can communicate effectively in an honest, sincere, and reliable way then you should have no reason to be defensive about your relationships.

Dysfunctional attractions

Some of us may come from dysfunctional families with abusive and alcoholic parents and we may seek relationships with similar abusive and alcoholic individuals which instantly cause relationship problems. Dysfunctional upbringing may also mean that you unconsciously enter into relationships with humans that have parental flaws and are less than ideal examples of what a future mate should be for you.

Not realizing that you should want and look for a mate better than one you easily enter into a relationship with is a selffulfilling prophesy of failure. You may be addicted to relationships with dysfunctional personality types and not realize that that is the primary reason for your failed relationships.

Fear of intimacy or not knowing what intimacy is and how it works

Intimacy means revealing your inner true feelings and thoughts or being honest about what you think and feel. Many are terrified that if they are too intimate they will be vulnerable to manipulation and possible rejection so they remain rather aloof and distant.

Others have never learned to be intimate or truthful with their feelings and true thoughts with anyone and may have never learned the advantages of intimate behavior which has the potential to create a trustworthy intensely bonding relationship with a significant other.

Being too picky or an inability to fully trust another

Many start out relationships by stereotyping the behavior and personalities of others and if we find a major flaw which we don’t like then we may shy away from letting the relationship develop further with potential good results despite the obvious behavior flaw or flaws which we see in another human. As long as the flaw is not immoral such as lying or cheating then we should give the human a chance to reveal his or her full personality before we pass judgment on them.

Not being able to reciprocate an honest, sincere, reliable human with similar honesty, sincerity, and reliability because we are afraid of being hurt is a skill that many of us may have to learn.

Low selfesteem or selfconfidence

Some may simply believe they have too many flaws to be considered attractive to the opposite sex and suffer from low selfesteem or selfconfidence. If you have a good job and are not fanatically devoted to it, are a good conversationalist and are not afraid to be honest, sincere, and reliable, and have excluded your severe flaws from your personality then you should not have a problem with low selfesteem or selfconfidence.

Trapped by the safe single routine and fearing to disrupt it with potential bad results

Some of us have simply led the single life too long and are relatively happy with it especially if we have failed one too many times in the relationship department. You may just have to accept the fact that you are getting plenty of satisfaction being single and that you don’t need to pursue any serious relationships. You can console yourself in feeling good about not contributing to the world overpopulation problem.

Making too many rules for yourself or others

Failed relationships frequently lead us into making many intuitive rules on how to behave and not behave the next time. Trying to be too intimate once and being deeply hurt may make us be less intimate the next time to avoid being deeply hurt again.

If your flaws are what turns humans off then no amount of rule changing will solve your relationship problems. Exclude as many of your flaws as you can or live with the fact that you should probably live the single life or be faced with a never ending series of failed relationships.

CONCLUSION:

IF YOU WANT TO HAVE A SUCCESSFUL INTIMATE REALATIONSHIP WHICH MEANS BEING HONEST, SINCERE, AND RELIABLE THEN LEARN TO ELIMINATE AS MANY OF YOUR FLAWS AS POSSIBLE OR ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU ARE SO FLAWED AND COWARDLY ABOUT TRULY WANTING TO CHANGE YOURSELF FOR THE BETTER THAT THE SINGLE LIFE IS REALLY BEST FOR YOU!!!!!!

 

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THE 5 MAIN IMPORTANT REASONS WHY YOU ARE STILL SINGLE!!!!!!

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You are not FINANCIALLY ready for a serious relationship or marriage, you have severe personality flaws, you are interacting with the wrong crowd, you met mr. or ms. right but they were not interested in you, and you haven’t met mr. or ms. right.

The first reason is the most important one because most marital relationships break up because of inadequate finances or very bad financial management. The reasons why you may not be ready for a serious relationship is a poor job but second and third in line are severe personality flaws and hanging around or interacting with humans who are job poor and/or have severe personality flaws themselves.

Getting more education and learning better job skills is your responsibility and it will take time to fix. Having serious personality flaws is not so easy to fix because you have been living with the bad habit(s) for years and a quick fix is not possible. You can blame your parents, your bad friends, or poverty circumstances but ultimately it is your responsibility to recognize or be aware of your flaws and do something about the bad influences in your life so far if you are going to progress in life towards better relationships with someone.

With a good job will come confidence and an increase in self-esteem but if you are not the honest, sincere, and reliable kind looking for an honest, sincere, and reliable human partner then you will fail no matter how intense the initial chemistry between you may seem.

Being a bad conversationalist is also a very important priority and if you are the selfish kind who wants to dominate the conversation or totally passive and quiet and withdrawn then you will frequently fail in starting up a good relationship and maintaining it for mutual satisfaction, mutual problem solving, and optimistic mutual emotional support.

CONCLUSION:

If you want to optimize your chances of having a successful relationship and are not very attractive then land a good job, become honest, sincere, and trustworthy, learn to be a better communicator, and start hanging around with a better group of humans who are also honest, sincere, and reliable.

This is an ideal recipe for getting into good relationships and unfortunately most real common humans wind up settling for much less in a human partner and frequently live to regret it. The incredibly high divorce statistics and so many unwed mothers are perfect examples of failed relationships with mostly bad morals and bad financial standards.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE.

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12 THINGS NOT TO MENTION ON A FIRST DATE IF POSSIBLE!!!!!!

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If you have no job and are not a student, have mismanaged finances, or if you don’t like sex then you probably should not be dating at all. There are 10 more things which you should try not to mention on a first date because they will probably scare away your date with a very bad first impression.

Here is a link to huffingtonpost.com which details these first date taboo subjects.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/christine-gallagher/twelve-things-to-never-me_b_3166079.html

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16 QUESTIONS YOU CAN ASK ON A FIRST DATE OR ONLINE BEFORE THE FIRST DATE!!!!!!

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Keep in mind that these questions are not mandatory. You don’t have to ask them all on the first date. When you ask your first questions they should be slightly general in nature to not seem that you are interrogating or putting you date on the spot.

Remember, the first main objective of a date is to find out how much you have in common in a casual way because the more things that you mutually like and even hate, the better the probability of a good connection.

You should also be trying to create a good first impression with your looks and asking friendly follow up questions which shows that you are interested in them too and not just yourself and are a skilled and pleasant two way communicator.

Asking a question and getting an answer does not mean that you have to get to another question quickly. It can merely be a takeoff point to follow up with more questions or a flowing conversation about the answered question topic.

SHARING GOOD AND BAD EXPERIENCES during the conversation will either bring you closer together or show that you probably were not meant for each other right from the start.

 

How was your day?

What do you like to do in your free time?

Do you like your job?

Is there anything you really love or are very passionate about?

What are your favorite activities or things to do?

Tell me about your favorite friends.

Tell me a little about your family.

What are some things you dislike or hate doing?

Here are some important specific questions which may seem like you are putting your date on the spot if badly presented:

Are you close with your family?

Is there anything which you don’t eat or don’t like to eat?

How do you feel about (insert something which you are passionate about)?

Are you dating anyone else right now?

Do you live alone?

What do you see yourself doing 5 or 10 years from now?

What do you dislike or hate the most?

What do you get angry most often about?

 

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE.

To read a list and access any of my approximately 400 evergreen truth blogs follow me at twitter.com/uldissprogis and I am sure that you will find more than a handful of evergreen truth blogs which will interest you.

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ARE YOU DATING A RESPONSIBLE CARING REAL MAN??

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IS HE RESPONSIBLE? THIS IS HOW YOU CAN KNOW!

He has a good job or is studying hard and getting educated for a good paying useful job.

He makes promises and fulfills most of them and doesn’t make untrue excuses when he doesn’t fulfill a promise.

He doesn’t lie to you or play deceptive games with you but is honest and sincere but not in a brutal, rude, or unkind way.

If there is a difference of opinion then he is ready to discuss or talk about it without angry confrontation, changing the topic, or silent withdrawal.

He doesn’t believe that luck determines your destiny in life but that personal optimistic, effort, and achievement are much more important factors in leading a successful satisfying life.

He is not afraid to talk about marital life and share his opinions on offspring rearing, especially the realistic financial responsibility which this implies.

 

IS HE CARING? THIS IS HOW YOU CAN KNOW!

He nurtures and protects you and himself which is what caring means.

He nurtures or supports the important things which you are doing in your life.

He praises you for the good things which you are doing and believe in and tries to protect you from the bad influences in your life.

He knows that bad humans and bad actions can become bad habits which will be very difficult to exclude from your behavior.

He cares about your personality and intelligence more than your looks and does not just say things to make you happy if they are not true.

He cares about the important goals in your life and supports them with genuine praise.

He cares about his own important goals in life and is just not obsessed with you alone.

He is observant about your emotional state and can empathize with your unhappiness and sometimes tries to make you feel better with optimistic comments.

 

CONCLUSION:

If you are dating a responsible caring man then he is an excellent candidate for a future potential mate.

Note that not every characteristic or behavior on the list is necessary for the ideal mate for you but you should try to keep your standards as high as possible unless you have a bad personality, no income, and are not very attractive.

Having all three bad characteristics may turn you into a recluse or a desperate woman wanting to attach yourself to the first male, no matter how bad, who shows some interest in you.

 

If you liked this evergreen blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE.

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6 CHARACTERISTICS OF THE IDEAL MAN TO DATE AND MARRY

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He has realistic goals in his life, is assertive, and is confident that he will achieve the goals and knows what kind of a spouse he wants and goes for it.

He is building towards a good financial foundation for a future family and is not a bar hopper looking for one night stands.

He is honest, sincere, trustworthy, dependable, smart, somewhat caring, and with a good personality and is looking for an honest, sincere, and trustworthy mate who is dependable with smarts and a good personality who looks good but is not hot, wild, and exciting.  In effect he knows what a good woman is and takes the time to know her more intimately if she is the type that he is looking for.

He has a somewhat caring personality or nurtures and protects you or supports your important interests and tries to protect you from bad influences and bad humans.

He is a good listener and is not only selfishly interested in himself and realizes that a conversation and a relationship is a two way street or that it should be mutually rewarding or satisfying.

He is not afraid of commitment if he really likes you and is ready to make one if he feels financially ready or will be financially ready in the near future. He plans to wait to have offspring until he is ready to support a family on his own for a short period of time until his spouse can work again and help to support the family financially too.

CONCLUSION:

Only some men are very caring. If you and he has a good job and he is financially responsible, is honest, dependable, trustworthy, has a good personality, and is a good communicator then go for him and ask for a commitment within a year’s time. If he doesn’t want to commit then break off the relationship because he is looking for a better or more attractive woman to come along.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them and read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSErays of truth in a world filled with myths and deceptions.

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THE 9 CHARACTERISICS OF THE IDEAL WOMAN TO DATE AND MARRY

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She gets upset and displeased but communicates clearly what is bothering her without throwing emotional tantrums, complaining too much, or expressing loud anger.

She is honest, sincere, and truthful, has standards or a clear morality, and does not feel that she is owed attention and affection or to be treated as a princess just because she exists.

She feels that she should be valued or loved for her smarts, integrity, and personality as well as for what physical attractiveness and sexuality she might possess.

She has a good paying job or career and realizes that she may have to temporarily depend on the husband’s income alone and sacrifice a job temporarily for a stay at home mom with young offspring to raise unless her income is so good that she can afford babysitters or a nanny. She does not want to become a permanent financial burden on the husband by remaining unemployed and with offspring.

She has domestic skills such as cooking and cleaning which can come in handy if financially the family can’t afford domestic help.

She is not sexually promiscuous.

She has clear goals of what she would want or desire to accomplish in her life in and outside of marriage.

She values a man based on his integrity, smarts, communication skills, caring, and emotional stability and not primarily on how popular he might be, his physical appearance, and wealth.

She is not one who will try to manipulate or change the husband greatly but is mostly satisfied with his current job, personality or behavior, and future plans.

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5 TYPES OF WOMEN SMART MEN SHOULD AVOID WHEN DATING

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Here is a link to singledatingdiva.com which has some good advice for smart men and even smart women who usually avoid 5 major unpleasant personality flaws in the opposite sex.

I would also like to add that most smart men try to avoid pessimistic women or women with mental problems such as depression. Men usually do not feel sorry for a woman going through tough personal times and don’t usually feel like nurturing and sympathizing with a complaining pessimistic woman. Very emotional or emotionally unstable women are also usually ones that smart men tend to avoid.

http://singledatingdiva.com/2013/07/15/five-types-of-women-that-men-avoid-when-dating/

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6 THINGS WHICH WILL FREQUENTLY SCARE A WOMAN OFF AFTER A FIRST DATE

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If you are unemployed without job skills and no money

If you are the above then most women will not consider you a good potential spouse and will not want to date you or go on a second date, especially if you have lied about having a job. If they are interested in spending their money and only having a good time or if they want you to father offspring so that they can lead the easy life as a welfare mother then you may have some luck having a good time.

 

You look like and smell like a bum

Most women do not want to be embarrassed in public by your appearance and bad hygiene. Yes there are some unattractive or severely handicapped desperate women who may put up with you if you have a good paying job and look and smell like a bum but a good or bad first impression is made by the way that you look and smell so don’t look and smell and create the impression that you have been eating and living out of commercial trash cans for months.

 

You are too weird

Staring with eyes bulging, following the woman around, exposing your genitals, talking much about sex, and doing other weird things like not listening, making weird jokes, or talking inappropriately will scare most women off. If you are a glaring social deviate then normative women will fear you.

 

Excessive praise and making future plans prematurely

Repeatedly praising how smart, intelligent, and beautiful a woman is and starting to make detailed plans about the future family, especially on the first date are signs of an inept bullshit artist or liar who is determined to say all the things to the woman that he thinks she wants to hear from a man.

You are a boring or a bad conversationalist

If you have only one topic that you want to talk about such as politics or religion or sports or sex, have only a handful of boring things to talk about, talk very little without asking questions, or talk too much about yourself and show no interest in the woman then you will scare most women off.

 

If you have bad or rude etiquette

If you arrive late for a date, make fun of a woman’s looks or opinions, severely criticize a woman, rudely use a mobile phone to text or talk to someone else which is not an emergency, forget to say please and thank you where appropriate, and rudely interrupt the conversation or speaking of a woman then you will scare most women off. No one likes to be degraded or criticized in a rude way in person or in public.

 

If you like this evergreen blog read more of them and read one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE.

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THE MODERN LOVE MYTH TOO MANY BELIEVE IN

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MYTH: Fall madly in love, get married, and live happily ever after.

TRUTH: Learn enough skills to get a good paying job or career, fall madly in love, get married, and live happily ever after if your personalities are compatible.

That is the modern myth that many women and men still believe in and it is not the truth in far too many real life situations. Historically marriage heavily depended on a female dowry (money) which was a realization of the fact that having a family is an expensive responsible undertaking and that it requires much money to make a successful long duration relationship with offspring.

Today having fun and being attractive has taken center stage as prerequisites to a relationship with the opposite sex with catastrophic results. Family life is disintegrating for many as more and more adults remain single for a very long time. Many divorced women with children whom a male has abandoned largely for financial reasons are forced to go on welfare to support their single parent families and lifestyles.

Yes, there are still some couples who find financial security and true love at the same time which is the ideal romantic situation but there are far too many who don’t realize that money should not be ignored as a necessary foundation for a strong and lasting relationship.

If you are a woman and are not very attractive physically and without a job then the only relationships which you can realistically expect are dysfunctional ones with other males.

TRUTH: Whether you are a man or woman educate yourself with desirable skills and get a good paying job or career. Then start seriously looking for a lasting marital relationship. In the meantime be satisfied with the fact that you will probably have many short duration relationships with the opposite sex with or without sex and have to be satisfied with a rarely good and frequently bad time with the opposite sex and not much else.

A marriage frequently needs compatible personalities and looks but more important it needs a good amount of money to keep it going for the long duration, especially if you have offspring.

If you liked this evergreen blog read more of them and read my evergreen books LOVEALL and GOOD MODERN BEHAVIORS.

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4 POSSIBLE REASONS HE DOESN’T CALL YOU AFTER A FIRST DATE

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There wasn’t enough chemistry or animal magnetism:

The most frequent reason a male does not call you back is because there wasn’t enough chemistry or animal magnetism that he felt for you. If on the other hand neither he nor you has been dating much then you may both be rusty on presenting your best somewhat flirtatious personality and the first date is more like a friendly get together and not a mating dance or ritual.

If you definitely find out that he hasn’t been dating much but you still find him attractive enough to want a second or third date then remember the old adage “nothing ventured, nothing gained”. Call him a few days later and thank him for a pleasant date and give him a little feedback about what you found interesting about him to boost his possible insecure ego a bit as a desirable male. If he just answers thank you and doesn’t ask you about a follow up date then don’t push any further because it is obvious that he does not have the same feelings or interest in you as you do for him.

 

You were a shy or talkative bore and didn’t touch on the things that you have in common:

If you are very shy on the first date and don’t ask questions about his favorite family members, best friends, best and worst experiences in his life, and favorite pastimes then the conversation will have been very boring and you both will not have the optimistic experience of sharing great moments in life and pinpointing common interests, likes, and loves.

Risking being a little nosey is far better than badly communicating and being an uninteresting bore. You may also find out things about him which will cause you to avoid a second date with him sooner rather than later in the relationship.

Talking too much about yourself non stop is also a way of boring someone, especially if what you talk about is not very interesting. Two way conversations are definitely preferable.

 

He is just too busy with an important job or personal priorities:

If he has a very responsible high paying job the reason he doesn’t call is that he may truly be busy with more important priorities in his life at that moment. If he does call at a later date then try to be understanding unless all his future dates also follow the same pattern. Then you may realistically begin to feel that you will be playing second fiddle to his job or friends.

Although a death or chronic illness in the family or some other equally bad news may be the reason that he doesn’t call it is not a very probable occurrence but you should be understanding if a bereavement or lingering chronic illness of a family member is presented to you as an excuse for not calling sooner.

 

He has an overinflated ego:

He thinks he is an irresistible handsome hunk and wants you to call him because he has very many other women to choose from and you are not priority number one. If you think that may be the case then move on with your life and other males.

 

If you liked this evergreen article read more of them and read one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE.

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8 LIES WHICH WOMEN TELL MEN AND THE PROBLEMS IT CAUSES

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Lying that you don’t care how much money he is making or will make. The truth is that most women crave financial security which is a prerequisite for a stable family relationship. You may want to emphasize that you are not a gold digger but you may get a man who wants to live off of your income instead and not feel responsible about contributing his fair share to the relationship.

 

Lying that you don’t care whether he looks at other women. Exclusivity and trust is the glue which keeps relationships together for the long duration and if you don’t consider it important then you may later turn into a jealous psycho chick filled with fear of abandonment when and if he starts eyeing other women.

 

Lying that you can’t wait to see his family, especially if you find out that he comes from a dysfunctional one. Inlaws trying to run their offspring’s lives can become a nightmare for you and your significant other, especially if inlaws are the controlling kind and have serious addictive (drugs, gambling, and alcohol) and abusive personality flaws.

 

Lying that you like his friends if you don’t. If you sense there is a chronic need to hang out with friends whom you don’t like then don’t be surprised if he doesn’t look for better ones in the future and spends much precious time with them. Admit that you think he can improve his friendships and that you would prefer it if he would spend most of his free time with you.

 

Lying that you are in no rush to get married.  If you are looking for a good time and someone to spend much money on you then this would be the truth. For most young adult women they should be honestly trying to establish an enduring relationship with a good potential mate as soon as possible so that they don’t lose a good mate to another marriage hungry woman. The older an unmarried woman gets the greater is the probability that she will meet more divorcees, unhappy or adulterous men, flawed male personalities, and older men who may not want any offspring in their lives. Most of the good male mates will already be married.

 

Lying that you like him just the way he is. Most women will find a few things that they would want to change in their potential mate so it is important to bring those things out into the open and discuss them before a relationship continues.  If you try and keep it a secret it will eventually become a topic of conversation with great unpleasantness and disappointment.

 

Lying that you love sports. Truly loving sports is a rarity and most of us wind up hating and complaining how much time is spent on sports and not family life eventually in the relationship.  Watching TV sports can be annoying enough but if you find that he likes to attend them in person in an addictive way and gambles on sports too then you should seriously consider ending the relationship if you hate his compulsive habit.

 

Lying that you can keep a secret early in the relationship. Before you establish a long duration trusting relationship it is highly probable that you will gossip about the secret to your family or girlfriends so don’t make promises which you will break because your boyfriend will eventually find out that you have broken his confidentiality and will not trust you with further secrets or confidentialities.  The future probability that he will trust you or want you as a mate will vanish.

CONCLUSION: Honesty and sincerity is the best policy if you dream of or hope for a trusting adoring family relationship. If you intentionally lie in the relationship your date will not trust you or want to confide in you about personal feelings and plans and the relationship will selfdestruct soon and certainly later. Most lies surface given enough time and no one likes to be lied to unless they come from a dysfunctional family where lying was an ongoing problem with bad consequences.

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13 DATING MISTAKES SOME WOMEN MAY MAKE UNKNOWINGLY

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Not enough money and an adulterous personality are the two major reasons which lead to a divorce and they are also the two major reasons for failed relationships.  Avoid dating playboys and especially playboys and lazy uneducated men without a good job.

It is a mistake to date anyone who asks you for a date including losers and then having a very low opinion of men and assuming that all of them are irresponsible uncaring manipulative personalities unworthy of your attention. The best way to avoid disappointment and heartache is to avoid men without a job or men with jobs which are not stable or have poor income.

Stay away from men with no jobs and those who are bartenders, disk jockeys, musicians, models, actors, sports jocks, photographers, landscapers, cashiers and service workers working at minimum wage without an education and no plans for bettering themselves.

On online profiles avoid the handsome men, the ones who sound too good to be true, and those looking for a good time or fun in life. Once again follow up with a question about a job and possible future job plans to determine whether he will be worth your investment of time, energy, and money.

If he is divorced then really probe for as many reasons as you can find for why the marriage was not a success. If it was adultery or financial bankruptcy which was caused by overspending then avoid a date with that man.

This basic principle works both ways and unless you are very attractive then you should not be dating if you don’t have a job.

 

If you are stuck on an exhusband and are still in love with him then you will have a hard time learning to trust another man.  You will have difficulty investing optimistic time not being convinced that there is not more than one soul mate in your life which you can find if you look hard enough and frequently enough.

 

Expecting the man to make the first move all the time is a mistake because the male ego hates rejection and some appropriate flirting may be advisable if you find someone whom you would really like to know better but seems to be ignoring you.

 

Dating only potential soul mates or twin flames means that you have probably set your standards too high and are overlooking the somewhat geeky or minimally attractive man with a good job and perhaps a better caring personality.

 

Not being courteous and polite on a date and not saying thank you to compliments and good behavior towards you such as paying for a meal is a mistake even if you think your date is a loser and you can’t wait for the date to end. You may not have a high opinion of him but he will have a better opinion of you if you are nice to him nevertheless.

 

Don’t pretend or be dishonest in the way that you behave on a date because in the short duration a misleading hope of appearing more desirable will kill the possibility of a trusting intimate relationship developing further along in the relationship if your lies are discovered which they eventually will be given enough time. Be honest, truthful, and sincere always and you should have no regrets no matter what happens.

 

Don’t ask uninteresting questions which are boring or without personal connections. Ask about family, best friends, exspouse, good and bad experiences, and favorite and not so favorite things in life. Birds of a feather tend to flock together and you will find out much useful information about your date if you find out who his favorite family member is or what interests his best friend has. You will also find out whether he blames his ex for the divorce or whether he feels he is partially to blame for the breakup. Near the end of the date you can ask what his plans are for the future if any or if there is something he would like to do in life which he can’t do right now.

 

Don’t talk too much about an exspouse and avoid laying all the blame on them for the relationship not working out. You can keep an answer short and sweet by stating that the relationship just didn’t work out and you both decided to move on with your lives.

 

Stay away from addictive (drugs, gambling, or alcohol) and abusive personalities which should be a red flag but which may be a dangerous personality which you are attracted to because of past bad experiences with addictive and abusive humans in your life which you now almost consider normal and attractive.

 

Not knowing your core needs. Although some core needs may differ there are generalized needs which most women have. They don’t want someone who is irresponsible with money, can’t be faithful, isn’t honest and sincere so he can’t be trusted, is a poor communicator with many personality flaws, and does not want offspring at any point in his life. If you are in a relationship just for the fling then core values are not important but you can develop a reputation as a loose woman and other knowing males will treat you accordingly without much respect.

 

You give sex too early in the relationship. In an era of sexual freedom women are encouraged to be as free with sex as the men. Unfortunately, men respect women more who don’t give sex freely but make them earn it by forming a close platonic relationship first. Just as most women are repulsed by promiscuous males most males consider promiscuous females to not be as worthy as mothers. Only have sex once you have learned enough about the male to consider him a potential keeper and not just a good time buddy.

 

Only when you learn that the man has decided to choose you as an exclusive partner should you completely turn off your non sexual relationships with other potential males. If a woman has more than one male non sexual friend she will be more desirable in the eyes of a potential suitor.

If it is an online profile don’t lie about your weight, age, or use a picture which is old or doctored. Your date will be very disappointed and wonder what else you are lying about and will start out not trusting you.

 

 

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HOW CAN I TELL IF THE PERSON I LOVE LOVES ME?

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Usually you can tell if you are loved and cared for by observing loving and caring emotional and bodily behaviors done towards you for a relatively long duration.

If the loving and caring lasts for a long duration it becomes more difficult for the loved one to pretend loving behaviors.

Generally the longer the duration in a loving relationship the more difficult it is for your loved one to pretend those loving behaviors and be a fake lover.

It is sometimes possible for a short duration to pretend loving and caring behaviors towards another but given enough time it is more probable that the person’s true intentions will show.

Given enough time both loving and/or caring and/or unloving and/or uncaring behaviors will be observed and a person who has tried to hide his unloving and uncaring will make a mistake and show his or her true (emotions and/or feelings) and/or (intentions and/or opinions).

Living together without marriage for a few years is a good test whether a loving relationship will last.

A shared morality frequently increases the probability that a long duration marriage will succeed and may make it unnecessary to live together on a test basis.

CONCLUSION: Don’t rush into a marriage without knowing all you can about your future potential mate.

I married after three months of courtship but I made up for the extra necessary time by asking a thousand and one questions about family, friends, ex husband, and pleasant and unpleasant experiences and didn’t catch her in one lie because she was being totally honest.

We are still happily married after 22 years living together.

If you liked this evergreen blog read more of them or read the evergreen book LOVEALL.

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8 CLASSIFICATIONS OF ONLINE AND OFFLINE DATERS. WHICH ONE ARE YOU?

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Women or men in their reproductive years who are divorced or have lost a spouse and are morning the loss and can’t seem to make a new love connection.

Financially handicapped women or men who are looking for a spouse to restore the middle class lifestyle to which they have been accustomed to.

Delusional young women and men without a job looking for true love which they hope will offset a major financial handicap.

Delusional women who lie about their looks and continue to disappoint the men they meet with and delusional retired men wanting women 40 years younger but not being able to perform sexually and not wanting offspring.

Women past their prime who have had many relationships good and bad and are looking for companionship more than financial support because they are making a decent income.

Women who have lost interest in sex but may be still pretending to have an interest to attract a man.

Men interested in sex but no longer having real successful sex because of impaired virility.

Men looking to score sexually on the next women in a seemingly endless line of serial sexual relationships without a desire to commit to marriage.

CONCLUSION: Most humans want a perfect mate who is attractive, has a good paying job, and a good personality but will rarely find this complete combination on the internet or in real life because most of them are happily married.

The solution to this dilemma is to start an online dating service for good paying jobholders who can perform sexually and sincerely state that they are interested in a long duration commitment or marriage.

The dating service should charge much money for the service and have a screening process which eliminates the liars or pretenders who don’t give an accurate profile of themselves. This will exclude the frustrating experience of dating and looking for that needle in a haystack successful relationship for those who deserve to be in a happy relationship and have earned that right.

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9 MISTAKES YOU MAY BE MAKING ON A FIRST DATE

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The most important mistake is dating when you have no job or dating someone without a job.

If one or both of you are seriously studying for a job or career then that can be an exception to the general rule.

No job frequently means no money and it will turn out to be a bad date which is basically a mooching circumstance. 

No job also frequently means someone’s life is so dysfunctional that they will just become a serious financial burden on you immediately or probably further down the line in the relationship.

If you are just looking for a good time without a potential lifetime commitment, then of course no job is not a problem if you have money to burn.

 

Most relationships and marriages end because of financial hardships so get your finances in order before you start out on new dating relationships or marriage.

You will avoid much heartache, disappointment, failure, and relationship disasters.

You can easily fall in love with a penniless, attractive, dreamer but just realize that you may have to financially support those dreams into the foreseeable future.

In ancient history marriages were based on money or wealth only and love did not play a major role.

Today it is wise to base a relationship on both money and love which optimizes the possibility of a successful enduring relationship.

 

Lying on the first date even about the seemingly unimportant things in your life like your weight or height will ruin the development of a potentially trusting relationship.

Tell the complete truth in any profile if it is an internet date introduction.

Without trust in the relationship close bonding is impossible and you will never have a happy lasting marriage if it gets that far.

You can postpone the telling of some serious flaws in your health, disastrous prior relationships, and terrible family life but be prepared to even reveal those secrets soon in the relationship.

The truth will surface sooner or later and it is best that it surface sooner so deception does not become part of the relationship and severe disappointment does not break up the relationship down the line which it inevitably will.

 

Just talking about yourself on the first date and revealing your selfish ego will cause a date to walk away and not want to date again.

Instead of talking too much about yourself and possessions try to ask more questions about your date’s family, friends, future goals, likes and dislikes, loves and hates.

Try to find some common ground to talk about and share similar beliefs and opinions.

The more you have in common the greater will be the probability that you will have a mutually satisfying relationship.

 

Being open minded about a date that has some different beliefs, opinions, and behaviors is smart because stereotyping a human based on one belief, opinion, or behavior, unless it is immoral behavior, will not give you the opportunity to learn about the entire personality in depth.

Everyone has a few or more characteristics and opinions which you may disagree with so don’t be too judgmental early on in the relationship.

You may discover many more beliefs, opinions, and behaviors which you strongly agree with and find admirable.

Don’t pretend that you are perfect and hide all your embarrassing moments and secrets.

Sharing an embarrassment such as an alcoholic or drug addicted relative and revealing that you had a bad prior relationship which you ended and moved on from is desirable because we all have embarrassing humans and events in our lives.

Being honest about your embarrassments will help your date to empathize with you and reveal to you some of his or her embarrassments also.

Sharing some embarrassing secrets will help you to bond sooner since both of you will realize that perfection is not expected for a realistic relationship.

Sharing the good times and also some of the bad times in your lives will help create an honest trusting relationship without pretension which never works in the long duration.

 

Don’t show anger about your ex or boss and make the impression that you are being victimized by people and events in your life and that none of it is your fault.

If you are angry at humans and events in life the chances are great that you will be angry many times in the relationship and try to pin the blame for bad events on someone.

Being angry at others is a big turnoff.

 

Express jealousy for how well an ex-spouse or acquaintance is doing and showing how envious you are of them is a complete turnoff to a date and just shows how immature you are in thinking that life is not being fair to you.

Other’s successes should inspire you to strive harder for your own success and not become a life filled with jealous feelings and a put down of other humans.

 

Don’t be greedy but be patient with your time or money on a first date if you are a male.

Spending quality time with your date will show that you are interested in your date and not too preoccupied with job and obligations.

Don’t be rude and text and answer emails while on a date making your date feel like she is playing second fiddle in your life and will probably never be a first priority in your life.

 

If you do not have confidence in yourself and feel that you are being victimized by circumstances beyond your control then you are not a good candidate for a date.

If you insist on dating then let your date do most of the talking and ask many questions about him or her because your lack of confidence will surface sooner or later and if it surfaces on the first date it will definitely be a turnoff and will get no sympathy or understanding.

CONCLUSION: having a job or seriously learning and studying hard, being honest, being kind and considerate, being generous and patient with your time and some money, being open minded, and being empathic will all help you to become an attractive first date.

Finally, if you do not have a job, are not studying hard for a job or career, are in therapy for depression, and have no confidence in yourself or the future then you should not be dating at all.

Start dating again when you regain confidence and create a pattern of successful goal achievement in your life.

 

If you liked this evergreen blog read more of them and read one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE.

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ONLINE DATING TIPS FOR ADULTS

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Showing an honest true profile is what will help insure success in internet dating more than any tricks you might want to try to improve your image and theoretically but not practically make it more attractive.

Some people try to post images of what they looked like five or ten years ago, try to hide their eyes with sun glasses, lie about their height and weight, and introduce buddies or other themes in the background of the photo. Don’t do this. Your potential date is not interested in most of your buddies nor do they want to see pictures of how you looked in the past and definitely would like to look into your eyes without sunglasses obstructing the view.

Give your real age and body height and weight because the truth will surface on the first date and cause great disappointment and disillusionment and no follow up dating will exist and you both will have wasted your time and effort and money.

Before an actual first date find out as much relevant information as possible over the internet or even ask for a phone number so you can ask follow up questions, especially if both of you have revealed that you have a job which is believable and are not just humans looking for a good time at minimum expense and nothing more.

Some important questions to ask before a first date:

Are you currently employed?

What are your favorite relatives and what do they do?

Do you have any best friends and what do they do?

What do you see yourself doing five or ten years from now?

What do you love to do and what do you hate to do?

What do you do in your spare time?

Is there anything in the past which you will definitely not do in the future?

In a description of who you are also be truthful and reveal that you are not currently employed if that is the case because the biggest turnoff is dating someone who is only looking for a good time and not enough funds to finance the good time. Money is one of the most important things in a relationship and if you aren’t making any the actual date will almost never be successful.

Prior to the actual date make sure that you try to find out as much as possible about the person’s loves and hates by asking questions because what he or she intensely cares about is probably something which is a dominant theme in their lives and you will have to live with it if the date goes past the first introduction.

If you are not asked questions in return this is probably a sign that a potential date is not that interested in you in the first place. If they are reluctant to answer your questions they are probably a secretive personality and have something unpleasant to hide.

Don’t be afraid to ask if your date has any future plans or whether there is something they would like to achieve before they die because this will give you an indication of whether your potential date is stagnating and maybe even depressed with life or whether they are one who hopes to move on in life towards a better future.

During the actual first date ask many follow up questions about job and family relatives and what jobs the relatives have in real life and who their best friends are because you will get a better idea of what environment your date is coming from and with what kind of role models he or she has been exposed to.

Don’t just talk about yourself and turn the date into a monologue and don’t just talk about many untrue things that you are doing in your life.

Reveal some unimportant vulnerability which you may both share in common since it will help your date to empathize with you and realize that no one is perfect. If you have had some failed relationships in the past mention them briefly and show that you have moved on past those failures and are not living in the disappointing past.

If you are addicted to something or in therapy or with poor health you probably should not be dating and it is obviously something which you will have to try and hide.

Revealing briefly what problems you have had in the past and how you solved them or got over them will create the impression that despite life’s drawbacks you can solve them and move on and are ready for a new relationship.

Conclusion: Be truthful and don’t be afraid to ask questions about your date before the first actual date. It will save you much time and effort and money and avoid one disappointing date after another.

If you like this evergreen blog read more of them and read one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE.

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11 HINTS YOU ARE PROBABLY NOT READY FOR A SERIOUS DATING RELATIONSHIP

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You flirt with everything that breathes is a sure indication that you are not ready for a faithful and exclusive relationship with the opposite sex.

You treat your dates like they are a second option in your life and not a first priority thus making your date feel like a second fiddle.

You can’t keep a conversation going but stop speaking with nothing to say for long periods of time. This will create the impression that you are not skilled in human relationships.

You don’t keep your attention on your date but check emails and text and let your attention wander in other ways without focusing on your date as priority number one.

You constantly bring up your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend or ex spouse in the conversation with your date. This means you are stuck in the past relationship wise and no serious date wants to share your past relationship failures.

You are a male and reveal that you are not interested in a long duration relationship so your date will be repulsed.

You don’t spend enough time with your date but only date once or twice a month will create the impression that you are not interested in a serious relationship.

You are stuck in the past with past memories and no future plans. This will also create the impression that you don’t know what to do with your future and no one will want to join your life which is stagnating.

You are depressed and only talk about bad things in your life and have a pessimistic view of the world. No one will want to share your gloomy life.

You are unemployed and treat life as a joke with no household skills like cooking or cleaning. This will create the impression that you have a mooching personality which no one wants.

You have a history of cheating on dates so no date will trust you and without trust a serious relationship is not possible in the real world.

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YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE PERFECT TO START BONDING WITH A POTENTIAL NEW FRIEND OR DATE

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Righta: adj. just and/or legal

Subset: n. thing

THERE IS GROWING SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE THAT SHOWING OR REVEALING SOME OF YOUR IMPERFECTIONS TO POTENTIAL NEW FRIENDS OR DATES IS NOT CATASTROPHIC BUT IN FACT WILL HELP THE BONDING OR RELATIONSHIP TO GROW STRONGER.

POPULAR MYTH COMMUNICATES THAT BEING AS PERFECT AS YOU CAN IS THE RIGHTA SUBSET TO DO WHEN YOU ARE STARTING A RELATIONSHIP.

THE TRUTH IS THAT PERFECTION FRIGHTENS PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY THEMSELVES FEEL IMPERFECT AND THIS CREATES INCREASED BONDING DISTANCE BETWEEN HUMANS.

IF YOU REVEAL YOUR SMALL WEAKNESSES DURING A CONVERSATION YOU CREATE THE FEELING THAT YOU ARE ONLY HUMAN AND HAVE WEAKNESSES THAT EVERYONE HAS TOO.

COMMUNICATING THAT YOU HAD A SMALL PROBLEM IN YOUR LIFE AND FOUND A SOLUTION IS COMFORTING TO A POTENTIAL FRIEND OR DATE BECAUSE THEY KNOW THAT YOU ARE A HUMAN WHO CAN SOLVE YOUR OWN PROBLEMS SUCCESSFULLY.

IF YOU MENTION THAT YOU HAD A ROMANTIC AFFAIR WHICH DIDN’T SUCCEED BECAUSE YOU DISCOVERED LATER THAT YOU REALLY DIDN’T HAVE ENOUGH COMMON INTERESTS TO MAINTAIN THE RELATIONSHIP LONGER THEN THIS WILL CREATE THE START OF A COMMON BOND SINCE YOUR NEW DATE MAY HAVE HAD SIMILAR EXPERIENCES WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX AND WILL EMPATHIZE WITH YOU.

A REASON YOU MAY FEEL CLOSER TO YOUR DATE IS THAT YOU HAVE REVEALED A SECRET TO YOUR DATE WHICH YOU USUALLY WOULD NOT HAVE DONE.

YOU HAVE INVESTED MORE OF YOUR TRUE SELF IN THE RELATIONSHIP AND YOU WILL PROBABLY FEEL CLOSER FOR IT.

TRUTHFULLY SHARING THE GOOD AND BAD EXPERIENCES IN YOUR LIFE CREATES THE POSSIBILITY OF GREATER BONDING BECAUSE HONESTY OR TRUTHFULNESS IS THE BOND WHICH BRINGS AND MAINTAINS HUMANS CLOSE TOGETHER IN A RELATIONSHIP.

IF THE BAD EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE IS A VERY STRESSFUL ONE AND YOU HAVE NOT FOUND A SOLUTION TO IT THEN IT IS BEST NOT TO GREATLY FRIGHTEN YOUR POTENTIAL NEW DATE OR FRIEND BY REVEALING IT.

THEY MAY FEEL THAT YOU ARE TRAPPED WITH A PROBLEM WHICH YOU HAVE NO SOLUTION TO AND WILL PROBABLY NOT FIND A SOLUTION TO IN THE LONG DURATION AND YOU WILL FRIGHTEN THEM AWAY.

GRADUALLY INTRODUCE YOUR BAD BEHAVIORS AND EXPERIENCES AS THE RELATIONSHIP PROGRESSES SINCE YOU DON’T WANT TO APPLY SHOCK TREATMENT AND FRIGHTEN AWAY YOUR LATEST HUMAN INTEREST.

REVEAL MOSTLY YOUR GOOD EXPERIENCES AND SUCCESSES IN LIFE BUT DON’T BE AFRAID TO REVEAL A FEW OF YOUR SMALL BAD EXPERIENCES AND SMALL FAILURES IN LIFE ALSO AND YOU WILL ACCELERATE THE POTENTIAL BONDING OR RELATIONSHIP!!!!!!

HOW WOMEN CAN EXCLUDE STRESS ABOUT A DIVORCE FROM THEIR LIVES

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A DIVORCE HAS NOT DESTROYED YOUR REPUTATION AS A GOOD HUMAN SO STOP FEELING GUILTY AND CONTINUE WITH YOUR LIFE.

DON’T WAIT FOR YOUR EX TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU FOR LEAVING YOU BECAUSE YOU WERE BOTH GUILTY TO SOME DEGREE THAT THE MARRIAGE ENDED.

STOP WORRYING ABOUT A FUTURE WHICH IS UNCERTAIN AND A PAST FULL OF MISTAKES BUT LEARN FROM YOUR PAST MISTAKES AND CONTINUE WITH COURAGE AND DETERMINATION TO MAKE YOUR FUTURE LIFE BETTER.

PARENTING THE OFFSPRING AFTER A DIVORCE IS MORE DIFFICULT BUT NOT IMPOSSIBLE ESPECIALLY WHEN THE BOY STARTS TO IMMITATE HIS DAD MORE THAN YOU. THE EFFECT WILL PROBABLY BE THAT YOUR SON MAY ALSO NOT SUCCEED AT LIVING IN A MARRIAGE FOR A LONG DURATION IF AND WHEN HE DECIDES TO MARRY. HE WILL PROBABLY HAVE MANY OF THE PERSONALITY PROBLEMS OF YOUR EX. TO EXCLUDE THE BAD INFLUENCE OF YOUR EX TO SOME EXTENT TRY TO FIND ROLEMODELS OF MALES WHICH ARE HAPPILY MARRIED AND COMMUNICATE TO YOUR SON ABOUT THE GOOD QUALITIES WHICH THAT MALE HAS THAT YOUR EX DOES NOT.

WITH JOINT CUSTODY OF THE CHILDREN IT IS A LITTLE MORE DIFFICULT TO BE JUST FRIENDLY WITH YOUR EX AND ACCEPT HIS INDEPENDENT LIFE BUT START BEHAVING LIKE A PLATONIC FRIEND TOWARDS HIM AND EVERYTHING SHOULD WORK OUT FOR THE BOTH OF YOU.

WITH A NEW GIRLFRIEND YOUR EX WILL HAVE LESS TIME WITH THE OFFSPRING BUT HE PROBABLY HAS LITTLE MORE WHICH HE CAN TEACH THEM ABOUT LIVING LIFE SO HE IS NOT AS IMPORTANT IN THEIR LIVES AND THE LESS TIME HE USES WITH HIS OFFSPRING THE BETTER.

IF THE NEW GIRLFRIEND IS MORE ATTRACTIVE DON’T FEEL THAT THAT WAS THE PRIMARY REASON THAT HE LEFT YOU BECAUSE THERE IS MORE TO A RELATIONSHIP WHICH LASTS THAN ONLY BODILY BEAUTY.

IF YOUR EX WAS AN ADULTEROR DON’T STRESS ABOUT IT BECAUSE HE WILL PROBABLY HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM WITH HIS NEW RELATIONSHIP EVENTUALLY.  IF NOT MAYBE HE HAS FOUND BETTER SEX AND SOMEONE WHO CAN LIVE WITH HIS INCOMPLETE PERSONALITY.

IF YOU TRIED TO CONTROL YOUR EX WHILE HE WAS MARRIED YOU WILL EVEN HAVE LESS POWER TO CONTROL HIS INDEPENDENT LIFE SO STOP STRESSING ABOUT THE ABSENSE OF CONTROL THAT YOU HAVE OVER HIM.

DON’T BLAME YOURSELF OR THE OFFSPRING BEHAVIOR FOR BEING RESPONSIBLE FOR THE EX LEAVING THE FAMILY FOR ANOTHER WOMAN.  EVEN IF YOU AND THE OFFSPRING WERE RESPONSIBLE YOU CAN’T CHANGE THAT FOR THE BETTER AFTER IT HAS BEEN DONE SO STOP STRESSING ABOUT WHAT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO CHANGE.

IF THIS IS YOUR SECOND OR THIRD DIVORCE MAYBE YOU ARE NOT MARRIAGE MATERIAL SO DON’T STRESS ABOUT IT AND ADAPT TO A SINGLE LIFESTYLE AND STOP FEELING GUILTY THAT YOU ARE NOT MARRIED.

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