Tag Archives: discipline

10 IMPORTANT PARENTING QUESTIONS ANSWERED!!!

My kids are frequently hitting each other. What can I do about it?

 

Most aggression results from a reaction to a toy being taken away or the destruction of what one has built. The basic underlying desire to be the dominant child in an interaction or selfishness is a contributory factor in most conflict situations. This reveals the necessity for teaching children that some toys are personal property to be respected and other toys are property which can be shared.

At first teaching how to share a toy needs adult supervision and you can introduce sharing by saying that one child can play with a toy for 5 minutes and then it is time for the other to spend 5 minutes playing with it. Harder to teach is a cooperative playing with a toy but in the case of a car it can mean shoving the car back and forth between two children along the floor or table top.

When building with blocks one child may want to destroy what was built so it is important to point out that this is unacceptable behavior to do and you must reprimand the offending destructive child.

Being a referee between two children of about the same age is hard enough but if you have three or more of about the same age then you have a handful of conflict on your hands if they all fight with each other. If the kids are all playing in the same room then you could instruct each one to pick a toy to play with and give them a space or corner of the room in which to play in.

When kids seem to be fighting for no reason at all such as pushing or shoving a lot then point out that this kind of behavior is mean and bad and that it shouldn’t be done.

It is not just important to find out who started a fight or who hit first but what was the underlying cause so you can always ask why did you hit your sibling? Sometimes aggression seems justified so you may just inform the victim child that he or she should complain to the parent about the situation. At other times kids may fight for no good reason at all and isolating them from each other for a time may be a possible partial solution. Whatever the situation be firm with a no fighting rule in the house and enforce the no fighting rule with punishment such as isolation for10 minutes or so for the offending aggressive party if you know with certainty who the first offender was.

Orderliness is very important and before bedtime all toys should be put away. Having toy bins with personal toys and shared toys may be one way of organizing a playroom or bedroom. Yes, at first you will have to instruct which toys go into which bins but once you succeed at this then cleanup will be less of a problem. An older child may be asked to show the younger one which toys go into which bins.

When there is an age difference of two or more years then fighting may not be a large problem. You can start teaching responsibility to your older child by asking them to teach the younger child how to do things like drawing, building things, reading to them, or teaching basic math.

A final important note is that you should try to teach or punish children fairly by not showing favoritism towards one child over another. Stress the fact that you love all your children equally and that there is no such thing as a bad child or a good child but merely good and bad behavior. When you get angry tell them that you are angry at the bad behavior and not angry at the child him or herself since you still love them.

 

How should I handle a situation where my child is being bullied?

 

Verbal bullying can either be ignored or you can teach your child to defend themselves verbally by responding with simple phrases such as “That’s your opinion not mine.”, “Grow up and act like an adult.”, “Pick on someone else if you want to feel superior.”, “Treat me like shit and I will never be your friend”, “Try being nice to people, you will have more friends.”, “You now have a reputation of being a big bad bully.”, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”, or ”To be respected you must treat others with respect.”

If it is physical bullying such as pushing, shoving, and punching then teaching your child self defense which does not severely injure the opponent may be necessary. Japanese Aikido is one example but Tae Kwon Do is another example where kicking and footwork, feet being the strongest part of the body, is emphasized. You can tell a child to warn the aggressor that if he or she does it again then they will get kicked if it is just a push or a shove. If your child gets punched or physically assaulted then one important key to defense is to trip them to the ground and proceed to kick them and maybe even punch them on the body but not head.

I personally was bullied by an overweight boy slightly shorter than me and I ignored his bullying until one day he pushed me off a fence that I was sitting on and I almost broke my neck. I was so enraged that I tripped him and proceeded to kick him and punch his head while he was on the ground. I slightly hurt my hand by punching his bony head so that was not a smart thing to do but he never bullied me again.

Another personal incident was where we were bragging about who was the strongest, got into a fight and I put him into a choke hold and he pass out and it scared me because I thought that maybe I had killed him. I made a mistake because he was bigger and stronger than me and I avoided him as much as possible after this initial incident for fear of being beaten up. We were never friends after that incident. This is not a bullying incident but just a lesson that fighting is not the best answer to successful conflict resolution and it is certainly not civil behavior.

 

When and how to talk to children about sex?

 

When a child is considered too young to understand the sexual act then simply saying that mommy got pregnant, you grew in her belly, and then were born as a baby. If the child is smart enough to ask further questions such as how did I get out of her belly then simply say through the vagina. If the child then asks what a vagina is then say it is an opening in the body between the legs. If the child asks how did mommy get pregnant then say daddy helped her to become pregnant. If the child wants more details then you have a precocious child on your hands who will probably understand further details.

Answers to very young children should be very general and not specific and they will usually be satisfied with the general answer that you give them and stop further questioning. When they ask for more details don’t lie to them but start giving a clinical truthful but brief answer. If you are embarrassed and don’t want to admit that you and mom have sex then show them examples of animals having sex and explain what they are doing.

 

How can I convince my children that smoking, drinking to excess, and taking drugs is not a smart thing to do?

 

Be good role model parents. Don’t smoke, don’t do drugs, and don’t drink to excess. If you smoke, do drugs, and drink to excess then the probability that your children will have the same handicaps is very great no matter how much you try to scare them out of doing so.

Drinking and driving is the greatest danger so if they are driving your car make it a strict rule that they can only have one or two beers or one or two glasses of wine and then drive. If they get drunk then tell them to call a taxi or get a ride home from a designated driver. Of course if you catch them driving drunk or high on drugs then revoke their driving privileges for a month or longer.

 

With a very busy schedule, how can I spend adequate time with my kids?

 

If you have more than one kid then schedule your time with each one of them personally on a regular basis and also schedule time with all of them together on family outings. Keep in mind that quality time is the most important and if you are not spending time teaching your child something new, sharing a skill or activity such as chess, tennis, or computers, encouraging their interests or praising them for good deeds or accomplishments, asking about how his or her day or week went, helping with homework and other tasks, discussing bad behavior, or sharing your work experiences then it is probably mostly wasted time together.

 

How can you change low selfesteem?

 

Some children simply don’t do well in school and have few or no friends and generally have a low opinion of themselves or low selfesteem. Your parental expectations may be too high and you may not have motivated the child enough with praise and encouragement for things done well.

Tell your child that not everyone can become an engineer, scientist, computer programmer, doctor, or lawyer and offer them the possibility of becoming proficient in some vocational profession such as a car or motorcycle mechanic, plumber, electrician, police officer, military officer, nurse, teacher, etc.

Every child should have long range goals if possible and selflearning vocational skills during the teenage years may be an ideal way to get a foot in the door and some useful vocational knowledge. Ultimately if your child learns a useful skill that pays relatively well then they should do rather well in life no matter how low their selfesteem.

Selfesteem originates from trying things and doing them successfully. You can insist that they help you with housework and praise them for doing a good job. Introduce them to interesting hobbies which don’t cost much money and generally get them interested in doing things or actively pursuing interests outside of school also. The more active that they are and do things successfully, the more their selfesteem will build up.

Teach them that failure is inevitable in life and the key to overcoming failure is to get up and try again or do something else which you don’t fail at.

 

What do I do when my child lies or steals?

 

Lying and stealing are immoral. Lying means that trust is broken and your reputation with others will hit the toilet. You will never have very close good friends or good friends in general if you lie to them. Without trust a relationship ends or is a very bad one.

Steal from someone and trust also breaks down. Not only is stealing immoral but society punishes thieves with prison since it is considered a criminal activity.

From early childhood you should severely stress that lying and stealing is unacceptable and the punishment severe. I caught my thirteen year old son stealing ten dollars from my wallet and proceeded to spank him severely across the butt with my belt in a rage. He never stole from me again.

For older teenagers compulsive stealing is often a sign of some drug habit which needs much money that they don’t have so be wary of a teenager who suddenly starts stealing from you out of the blue. Yes, peer pressure can also lead to stealing and if you find out that this is the case then your child is hanging out with the wrong crowd and you should put a stop to it as soon as possible. Your child must simply learn to say a fervent NO to lying and stealing. Both acts are severe character flaws which good society does not tolerate.

 

How should I discipline my children?

 

There is a slight difference in disciplining very young children and older ones but both basically entail taking away a possession for duration or taking away a privilege for duration.

Very young children throwing a tantrum can be disciplined with isolation or removing them physically from the tantrum location and making them sit in isolation in a room or car until they calm down. Ask them whether they are ready to go back and behave is something that you should do before you bring them back to the tantrum location which is sometimes a store or public place.

Warning or threatening your child with a threat of punishment is also a way of controlling bad behavior. Taking away a favorite toy, cellphone, rights to use a computer, right to go out of the home (grounding), etc. for duration is usually very effective but if you threaten a punishment then you should follow through with consistency or your threats will be ignored in the future. Also if you promise a reward or to do something like going to a sporting event or theatrical performance then follow through and fulfill the promise.

Discipline must be consistent, clear, and as close to the misbehavior as possible. Discipline delayed is not as effective and young children especially will forget what they are being punished for with poor results in the end.

 

How can I help my children form friendships?

 

If you have good friends yourself then children will learn from your role model example. If you don’t interact with humans that much then teach your children that the best friends are those with common interests in school or near home setting and at about the same age. Teach them not to lie or steal from others so trusting friendly relationships develop.

If your children don’t seem to be interested in much then introduce them to games, hobbies, and sports which they can share with others. Having a bicycle can also increase the range of your child and expose him or her to children farther away in the neighborhood.

 

How can my children learn to be independent?

 

Independence means doing things on your own so start early teaching them numbers, words, reading, and math which they will definitely need in school. As soon as possible have them do household chores such as vacuuming, cleaning, food preparation, laundry, yard work, taking out the garbage, etc.

Introduce them as early as possible to games, hobbies, sports, and tools. Teach them your job skills and how to budget money. If it is a suburban neighborhood have them wash cars, mow grass, walk a neighbor’s dog, or do other work suited to teenagers for money. In effect, keep them busy doing useful things on their own and they will learn how to be independent.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4500 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1176!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

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17 REASON’S PEOPLE FAIL!!!

Perhaps the most important reason people fail is because they don’t have the natural ability to succeed in an exceptional way. Your memory may not be that good which is important in managerial positions or you may not be energetic or self driven enough and may be lazy, a procrastinator, and always trying to take the easy way out. Yes, a great memory, being a fast learner, and being supper energetic are characteristics you often need to make an exceptional impact in life.

In sports it helps if you have been physically gifted with excellent coordination, endurance, great muscle memory, and strength. Yes, some humans are born with the right muscle structure and type to run the fastest and some of the best acrobats are born with natural flexibility much beyond the average. It is a sad fact of life that humans are born unequal with different natural strengths and weaknesses. It greatly helps if you are born with a high IQ or incredible physical abilities. Yes, without natural talent you still may be able to make it with smart hard work but you also run the risk of premature burnout mentally or physically. Yes, it is also true that without hard smart work a high IQ or great physical ability will be largely wasted and you may still not amount to very much in life.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

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WHAT DOES RESILIENCE MEAN AND HOW CAN YOU BECOME MORE RESILIENT???

Resilience: n. having an ability to recover relatively quickly from difficult personal consequences

An appropriate personal attitude, an ability to overcome personal mistakes and problems, and resourcefulness in getting help from researched useful knowledge and assistance from others is basically what creates a resilient human who can relatively quickly recover from difficult personal consequences.

A basically optimistic attitude, selfcontrol, selfesteem, and confidence, accepting and adjusting to one’s weaknesses and mostly using one’s strengths, a recognition or selfawareness of one’s and other’s emotional states all constitute an appropriate personal attitude.

An ability to set and choose to pursue realistic goals, having realistic expectations, an ability to gather relevant information or selfeducate, avoiding some serious problems with forethought and advance planning, a financial reserve or insurance for emergencies, and an ability to discuss and think about problems rather than argue about them will all help in learning from your mistakes and help problem solving.

Finally knowing how to selfeducate or use search engines to get relevant information and knowing what humans to consult or get help from on a relevant topic or situation will usually provide the knowledge and assistance necessary to get one out of bad circumstances in a reasonable period of time.

Of course you can ask- how do you develop selfcontrol and problem solving abilities? The answer is selfeducation and/or experience in disciplining oneself and knowledge about problem solving techniques or experience in solving problems. Resilience is not something that we are born with but is something which we usually acquire through the experience of confronting problems and solving them and making mistakes and then correcting them or learning from them so that the same mistakes are not repeated again in the future.

You can live and learn mostly through experience but the smarter ones amongst us learn from the historical experience of others who have confronted similar problems in their lives and solved them or have advice on how to avoid similar problems in the first place. Yes, it greatly helps if you have resilient role models to learn from.

Many humans are not very resilient and get out of their problematic circumstances sooner or often later, but a resilient human will get out of a bad circumstance relatively quickly.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

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HOW TO DISCIPLINE KIDS!!!

Crying boy being disciplined or punished.

One of the most effective ways of letting kids learn about the wrong things to do is to let them suffer the consequences.

Buy a relatively fragile toy and warn them sternly that it is fragile and it will break if thrown around or dropped from a high height. Then let the child play with the fragile toy until they wind up breaking it. Then tell them that because they were not careful enough the toy broke and tell them that it will be a long time before they will be trusted with another fragile toy again.

Obviously if the child is too young to be trusted with toxic household chemicals, dangerous medicines, or sharp objects like knives and sharp forks then these objects should be locked away in a secure place inaccessible to the child. You would not want them to suffer the bad consequences of being poisoned, cutting themselves severely with a sharp knife, or poking out an eye with a sharp fork.

The swimming pool is very dangerous for very small children and it should be fenced off until the child is taught to tread water or minimally stay afloat.

When crossing a street it is wise to hold the hand of a child and teach them to look both ways before crossing the street. If the child is not old enough to follow you across the street without running out into it then you must continue to hold the child’s hand until the child follows you obediently across the street on their own.

 

Logical consequences can also be taught with consistency.

If a child begins to throw a toy around which is not meant to be thrown then it can be removed and placed on a shelf for the rest of the day. A toy which is meant to be shared can similarly be removed for a day if sharing does not occur. If the children are old enough to tell time then you can request that each child share a toy for 10 minutes at a time. Once again, if the toy is not appropriately shared then it can be removed for the day. Sometimes a toy can be shared on a daily basis and one child may have it on Monday and the other can have it to play with on a Tuesday, etc.

Before bedtime it is a good time to put toys away. If the child does not put the toys away then you can threaten to put the toys in a box and not make them available for the next day of playing. If the child still refuses to put the toys away then follow through with the threat and box up the toys and remove them to a safe place out of reach for the next day.

Bathing, brushing teeth, and putting dirty clothes into a laundry hamper is a good routine to get into before bedtime. Once again a threat to remove a favorite toy for a day or a few days may be used to get compliance. Not highly recommended but possible is to force a child to put dirty clothes in a hamper by physically making them go through the motions by grabbing the child’s hand and moving his or her body from clothes to hamper until all the dirty clothes have been dropped in.

If a child does not finish dinner then that is just fine but warn them that they will be given no food or snacks until the next meal time. Children these days are overfed and missing one or two meals is not a tragic or unacceptable circumstance. Our ancestors sometimes went days without eating and even fasted at certain times and frankly only ate when hungry.

Another technique used by parents to stuff their kids is to say that you will only get desert if you finish your meal. Frankly, desert should be maybe a once in a week event since overconsumption of sweets is a major cause of diabetes and other eating problems. Supermarkets are overflowing with sugar added to lousy over processed foods of all kinds and is a major reason why many humans no longer eat healthy well balanced organic food meals.

For children fighting scolding in a loud voice can help and if that fails separating them physically and carrying one off to sit in a chair in a corner by themselves for an hour or so is usually effective. If a child throws a tantrum in a public place then physically removing them from that location and getting them to quiet or cool down in the car or outside the public location usually works if reinforced with the words-are you now ready to go back and behave?

 

Withholding a child’s privileges works well for all ages.

Withholding a cherished toy, not letting a child play outdoors for a day, or not letting him or her play with a playmate are privileges which can be withheld for bad behavior or as a form of discipline. For older children taking away a cellphone or computer for a day or week and grounding them for a given time are ways to get compliance with household rules and good behavior.

Spanking is usually not recommended but there may be certain children who are becoming compulsive liars or stealers and adults can be severely punished for these behaviors. Explain first to the children that lying and stealing destroys the trust between humans and they can no longer be good friends or no one will believe them anymore and that adults are punished for stealing with fines and jail. The threat of spanking should first be done for serious lying or stealing and then a consistent follow through with the spanking punishment if the intentional lying or stealing occurs again.

 

Discuss the logical consequences or reasons why bad behavior should not be tolerated.

Parents are usually not very good at this.

Reasons against fighting can be physical pain or harm on another, causing aggressive emotions and actions in another or probable bad retaliation, parents don’t physically fight with one another because they love one another and want to live together peacefully, and finally adult fighting is called physical abuse or battery and aggression punishable by jail time.

Reasons against yelling indoors is that it disturbs or annoys others who may not be able to concentrate on what they are doing, it is usually done in emergencies such as an accident, and it is usually done outdoors to cover a larger communication distance and to signal danger such as a speeding car or bicycle, etc.

Reasons for being polite, kind, considerate, empathetic, and friendly is that most humans will like you more and may even become a friend.

 

Non negotiable arguments for younger children.

There are just times when something isn’t fair in the child’s mind or when the child asserts his or her stubborn self and refuses to do something no matter how reasonable it may be. These are time when the parent has to say “yes, it isn’t fair” or “I know” and proceeds to enforce the rules saying Me and Mom are in charge of the family and rule enforcement and we are the final authority in making decisions for the children in the family. When you have children of your own then you can be the boss over them when they are young.

 

Finally the most important thing is to be a good role model for your children since most children ultimately behave like their parents later in life and act the same way towards their own children also. If you want your children to not smoke, not drink, not do drugs, not curse, not gamble, not fight, not frequently argue and if you want them to be polite, kind, courteous, empathetic, friendly, and loving then be that way yourself and interact appropriately with your spouse and other humans.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

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BRIEF REVIEW OF GOOD AND BAD PUNISHMENT!!!

As parents we often are uncertain whether a punishment is working or is effective or we are uncertain whether a threat of punishment or threat of withdrawal of a privilege will work. Ways of punishing are many and you should refer to books for detailed information on the subject. I highlight general reasons why punishments can be effective and why they sometimes are not.

My young son threw a loud temper tantrum in the supermarket when the family went shopping and I immediately physically carried him out to the car and had him calm down. When he did calm down I asked him whether he was ready to go back in and behave. We went back shopping and everything was fine again.

This is just one example of immediate effective punishment for young offspring which is nonviolent and does not involve loudly shouting “no!” or “stop that!” in a public place.

 

 

PUNISHMENTS ARE MOST EFFECTIVE WHEN THEY ARE-

Appropriate and thoughtful:

Consistently enforced:

Enforced immediately following the behavior:

Helpful in teaching what to do:

Not sources of additional wanted attention:

 

Appropriate and thoughtful:

This should mean that the punishment

is adjusted to the severity of the misbehavior timewise and/or

is (emotionally impactful and/or harsh) to the right degree and/or

is a consideration of the effectiveness of previous similar incidents and/or

is the right time, place, or circumstance to be enforced

Appropriate: v. to add and/or to subtract a subset(s) necessary for a different subset(s) and being normative and acceptable for the circumstances

 

Thoughtful or Thinkad: adj. silently and mentally verbalizing and trying to make correspondences between the subsets of one’s own knowledge and/or experiences and using as much logic as possible

Harsh: adj. unpleasantly intense and/or shocking to the senses

 

Another general statement which can be made is that the punishment fits the crime and/or misbehavior.

This means that the length of time the punishment lasts can be short, medium, or long depending on the circumstances.

The emotional intensity felt by the offendor can be extreme, medium, or low intensity hatred and/or mental pain or anguish and/or unpleasantness.

You should consider whether the punishment should be changed if previous attempts a dealing with the misbehavior have not been effective and the misbehavior continues to recur.

The kind of punishment can be

forceful,

withdrawing a privilege,

demanding a repetition of corrected behavior more than once,

demanding completion of an unpleasant task,

a threat of future punishment, or

a loud threatening order to cease misbehaving.

 

Consistently enforced:

Consistently: adv. repeating at different starting points in time

 

Repeat: v. to do an event(s) more than once with or without duration(s) in between

 

If the punishment is not severe enough then we may be consistently punishing the same way but the punishment itself is ineffectual. If this is the case then the punishment must become more severe since consistency is not enough to guarantee successful obedience. More severe punishment means that it is made to last longer, is more repugnant or devastating to the offendor, and is a privilege removed which is more highly valued such as the removal of cellphone usage.

As a parent you may not be present every time the misbehavior happens so poor supervision may be the real reason why a misbehavior continues to exist because the misbehavior is done frequently when we are not looking or supervising. We may think that we are being consistent when in fact our assumed consistent punishment really seems and is ineffectual because it is really inconsistent.

 

Enforced immediately following the behavior:

Immediate punishment which can merely be a loud “no!” is desirable for very young offspring. Delayed punishment is bad for very young offspring because they are much more impulsive in their behavior and must immediately be disciplined for maximum impact or effectiveness. With older offspring some delays are inevitable because it may be the wrong time, place, or circumstance and the punishment will have to start at a later or delayed time.

 

Helpful in teaching what to do:

Teaching the right behavior by an example to be imitated is one approach to constructive punishment. Giving a reason why it is appropriate behavior beyond saying it is just the correct behavior is another approach to constructive punishment.

Reasoning, you can say that yelling or shouting is not right in this circumstance because it annoys, disturbs, or shocks other humans or it steals their right to a peaceful, calm environment without unnecessary stress. It steals their right to a secure and predictable environment free of potential danger or threats of danger since shouting sometimes causes fear reactions. It is not the right time, place, or circumstance to be loud or yelling.

 

Not sources of additional wanted attention:

Some offspring are starved for affection of some kind which is rarely given and prefer punishment to no attention at all. Others just like to be noticed or be the center of attention. For these among other reasons offspring may misbehave to attract the attention of other siblings, parents, peers, and hopefully not law enforcement officers.

Daring one to misbehave is sometimes viewed as a brave or courageous act of rebellion against behavioral norms and is valued by gangs, cults, and deviant individuals. Of course a dare can also be a means to get another human into trouble with authority figures so it can be a plan to harm or injure someone intentionally.

Dare: v. to courageously do a subset(s) without permission and/or a legal right

 

PUNISHMENT DOES NOT WORK WHEN IT IS:

Mindless or inappropriate:

Sources of anxiety, pain, rage, or fear:

Inconsistently enforced:

Delayed:

Dependent on the presence of the enforcer:

Unclear or do not teach a lesson:

Sources of additional attention:

 

Mindless or inappropriate:

This is when the punishment

is not adjusted to the severity of the misbehavior timewise and/or

is (emotionally impactful and/or harsh) to the wrong degree and/or

has no consideration of the effectiveness of previous similar incidents and/or

is the wrong time, place, or circumstance to be enforced.

 

Sources of anxiety, pain, rage, or fear:

This is highly inaccurate since a fear of punishment to some degree is necessary for a punishment to be effective especially when a threat of punishment is communicated. If there is no fear of punishment then the badness or wrongness of the misbehavior does not register mentally to the degree necessary to effectively stop future similar misbehaviors.

Physical pain is only rarely necessary to effectively stop immorality or repetitive lying or stealing in very young offspring. If the child rages or has a temper tantrum then it is a specific individual reaction to a stimulus or circumstance and rarely the fault of the parent.

Rage: n. very intense anger which frequently includes a violent behavior(s)

 

If your offspring rages every time that you punish then there is something emotionally unstable or wrong with them. If your offspring fear your punishment then you are probably using abusive punishment tactics or maybe hitting them too hard or too often.

 

Inconsistently enforced:

Inconsistency can mean not punishing a misbehavior every time it exists or not being the same punishment in degree or kind.

As a parent you may not be present every time the misbehavior happens so poor supervision may be the real reason why a misbehavior continues to exist because the misbehavior is done when we are not looking or supervising. We may think that we are being consistent when in fact our assumed consistent punishment really seems and is ineffectual because it is in reality inconsistent.

Wild swings in the severity of the punishment for a given misbehavior or an unpredictable kind of punishment each time a misbehavior exists could be considered to be inconsistent punishment and can sometimes create confusion, uncertainty, misunderstanding, or irrational fear in the offendor.

 

Delayed:

Delayed punishment is bad for very young offspring but with older offspring some delays are inevitable because it may be the wrong time, place, or circumstance and the punishment will have to start at a later or delayed time.

 

Dependent on the presence of the enforcer:

It is a sad fact of life and human nature that the temptation to misbehave increases when not in the presence of an authority figure who can enforce the rules. This is why it is so important to teach moral behavior and cultural norms to young impressionable offspring so that they learn to impulsively behave the right way when they are away from an authority figure.

Neglected, undisciplined, misbehaving offspring are increasing in numbers because of bad supervision in their early formative years by parents. Teenage neglect by working parents is added to deviant peer pressure to misbehave and both are reasons for the increasing immaturity and irresponsibility of the younger generations when they become adults.

 

Unclear or do not teach a lesson:

Don’t teach what is the right thing to do is really all that this should mean. Unfortunately most parents do not often give rational explanations for why behaving is the right thing to do and misbehaving is the wrong thing to do.

Do it because I say so or because I am the rule enforcer and must be respected is good enough reason for very young impressionable offspring but the older they get the more important it becomes to start giving them rational or reasonable answers when they ask -Why should I do it your way? or Why is something which I am doing bad?

 

Sources of additional attention:

Bad behavior does attract attention as proved by some popular celebrities. They  would rather be talked about doing something bad or deviant then not talked about at all or ignored. Neglected offspring sometimes misbehave to attract parental attention, disapproval, and punishment which is apparently better than being totally ignored or neglected.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 787!!!

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If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3700 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/