Tag Archives: discussions



Many of us like to talk but not listen, especially about the things important to us and we sometimes bore others with a lengthy speech or create conflict because we insist that our opinions be heard, that they are true, and don’t realize that others may have valid opinions and facts which are totally different from our own.

The way to reduce conflict and get our point across frequently means listening closely to what someone is saying, accurately reading their emotional attachment to the topic, and asking follow up questions to determine what they are really thinking and why they think that way.

Listening and probing a little with questions will help you to better understand where a human is coming from and understanding will lead to a better reply than just an impulsive one without reflection.

Only after getting all the vital facts, opinions, and emotional attachment should you proceed with your opinions and facts and you should do so as briefly as possible so that the lengthiness of your explanations don’t confuse the one you are talking to.

Realize that just listening intently and smart questioning does not mean that you will convince another human that your opinion is valid but they will feel that you have respected their point of view by carefully listening and devoting your precious time to them.

Frequently saying that you agree with one or two points which a human is making will put that human in a more receptive mood to perhaps accept your point of view also.

Finally, if after listening to someone that you feel is wrong and will deny that they are wrong it is sometimes best to say nothing at all and move on to a different subject or end the conversation. If you are the boss and it is an employee whom you disagree with then of course you will have to deal with the problem head on to the best of your ability.

This blog is about listening and not about how to win an argument, confrontation, or discussion which requires more skills than just careful listening. If you are smart then you will become a better listener than a talker.

Good listeners are frequently more respected than good talkers because most humans think that what they have to say is important even though it is frequently boring trivia.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 800 so far, and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.




Discussion: n. communicating much about a subset(s) which may or may not lead to a goal(s) and/or judgment(s)

Discussion is definitely preferable to angry confrontation when it comes to solving problems or just talking about an important subject.  Some subjects are relatively easy to discuss because there is no emotional commitment or strong opinions but it is frequently not easy to discuss subjects such as politics, religion, and sports where we may have some strong differing opinions and may get terribly upset if our views or opinions are challenged.

Discussion also means that you are a good listener and pay attention to what the other human is trying to communicate and successfully reading his or her attitude or emotional commitment to the subject being discussed. 

Another important aspect of discussion is being able to ask questions and gaining a deeper understanding of the point of view of the human whom you are discussing with. 

Empathizing with another’s point of view and frequently praising the point of view if it has merit will increase the probability that the human will also empathize with your point of view and hopefully listen intently. 

If the subject is a highly emotional one then it may be advisable to wait until the emotions die down and then try to discuss the subject with a cool head. When emotional outbursts have run their course or have died down then that is the time to start discussing what caused the outburst and whether there is anything which can be done to prevent future outbursts.

When trying to discuss problems and find solutions it is important to state the problem in words, communicate one or more ways of possibly solving the problem, and then mutually agreeing on a course of action to solve the problem. If the problem seems to have no solution then a little research into the situation may be necessary or an opinion from an expert or third party in the field being discussed may help.

Facts backing up an opinion, prior experiences, and opinions from other humans will frequently help a discussion proceed successfully if there seems to be a deadlock and neither side seems to know what to do.

Group discussions are more difficult  to control and can end in confusion if no one is in charge of leading the group discussion. Everyone should be given an opportunity to contribute something to the discussion and a leader is frequently needed to break up deadlocks when and if they occur. In groups there are frequently one or two leaders who want to do most of the talking and offer most of the suggestions on what to do so the main leader has the responsibility of managing the ego’s of the participants and giving each one just representation in the discussion.

Discussion is a learned skill and you frequently get better at it as you age and have a wealth of information and life experiences to rely upon when making decisions in life.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, approximately 700 so far, and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.