Many of us like to talk but not listen, especially about the things important to us and we sometimes bore others with a lengthy speech or create conflict because we insist that our opinions be heard, that they are true, and don’t realize that others may have valid opinions and facts which are totally different from our own.
The way to reduce conflict and get our point across frequently means listening closely to what someone is saying, accurately reading their emotional attachment to the topic, and asking follow up questions to determine what they are really thinking and why they think that way.
Listening and probing a little with questions will help you to better understand where a human is coming from and understanding will lead to a better reply than just an impulsive one without reflection.
Only after getting all the vital facts, opinions, and emotional attachment should you proceed with your opinions and facts and you should do so as briefly as possible so that the lengthiness of your explanations don’t confuse the one you are talking to.
Realize that just listening intently and smart questioning does not mean that you will convince another human that your opinion is valid but they will feel that you have respected their point of view by carefully listening and devoting your precious time to them.
Frequently saying that you agree with one or two points which a human is making will put that human in a more receptive mood to perhaps accept your point of view also.
Finally, if after listening to someone that you feel is wrong and will deny that they are wrong it is sometimes best to say nothing at all and move on to a different subject or end the conversation. If you are the boss and it is an employee whom you disagree with then of course you will have to deal with the problem head on to the best of your ability.
This blog is about listening and not about how to win an argument, confrontation, or discussion which requires more skills than just careful listening. If you are smart then you will become a better listener than a talker.
Good listeners are frequently more respected than good talkers because most humans think that what they have to say is important even though it is frequently boring trivia.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 800 so far, and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.