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Not fulfilling promises and lying on occasion:
Trust is the most important bonding factor in a relationship and this applies to business relationships also. Break promises or lie and respect for you starts to disappear since employees can no longer depend on your word being true which causes mistrust and hostile confusion and uncertainty in the workplace.
Perhaps not giving a promised pay raise or job promotion will most negatively affect the morale of an employee. There are other less blatant forms of promises made and not kept which will break the trusting bond with employees. Perhaps the best advice to give a manager is to not be pretentious but be honest and straightforward in all your dealings with employees so that they never have to doubt what your true intentions and demands are on the job.
Criticizing employees publicly:
Embarrassment, shame, and bad feelings against the manager may follow the criticizing of an employee in public. Almost everyone wants to feel safe with reputation intact if they make a mistake or screw up in some way on the job and don’t want this to become public knowledge if at all possible. The right time and place to do any chastising is in private between manager and employee only.
Excessive invasion of privacy, especially if details are announced publicly or to other employees:
Sometimes private activities affect business relationships or activities but the manager should be cautious about probing too deeply into the private lives of employees and even worse gossiping about the juicy details. Almost everyone is interested in maintaining a good reputation in the workplace and intimate private details which reflect a bad circumstance or situation should remain largely private and go no further than the manager and employee concerned. Most employee private secrets which don’t adversely affect the business should be respected and definitely not gossiped about if found out.
Withholding motivation or positive feedback:
A manager should do more than just try to help out if problems arise. A good manager will offer words of encouragement for a job well done so that the employee feels that they are being noticed and appreciated on the job on a regular basis.
Micromanaging employees:
Micromanaging indirectly implies that you don’t trust an employee to do a good job on their own. While micromanaging a new employee who is learning the ropes is sometimes a good thing, micromanaging a competent employee with unnecessary interruptions can adversely affect productivity. Interrupting when the work seems to be going too slow or noticing that too many mistakes are being made on the job is not micromanagement but a valid time to see if you can speed things up or eliminate apparent roadblocks to the work. Micromanaging is done primarily because you don’t trust an employee to do a competent job mostly on their own or you want to take credit for the job done yourself.
Not getting feedback from employees:
A domineering manager may just be inclined to give out orders and not ask for much feedback from employees. Largely isolated and minimally interested employees may be the result if they are almost never asked to participate in the decision making processes. Feedback from employees is especially important in a team effort which needs good coordination and participation by more than one employee. Happy and productive employees should be the goal of almost all businesses. Good feedback will determine how happy and productive they are and what things could possibly be done to make them happier and more productive.
Failing to appropriately discipline:
It is bad policy to ignore bad job performance and bad behavior which if left unresolved can lead to a sharp drop in employee morale and some if not many looking for jobs elsewhere. Before disciplining an employee it is best to have a private conversation and determine what is the cause of bad performance or bad behavior on the part of an employee. Sometimes all that is needed is determining the cause, pinpointing concrete steps to resolve the issue, and finally a promise from the employee to improve in the near future with concrete behavior modifications.
Sometimes giving the employee less responsibility, taking away a privilege such as parking rights, or threatening with firing are what appropriate discipline looks like. If the bad performance or bad behavior persists then make sure that you document it all and finally fire the offending employee before the rest of the staff is negatively impacted to the point of no return.
Not coaching or mentoring employees:
Some employees want to advance to higher positions in the business and don’t want to stagnate in a job at the same level for years. It is important for a manager to pinpoint those who want to be upwardly mobile and give them the appropriate coaching, mentoring, and delegation of some authority to keep them motivated. Yes, you run the risk of someone taking over your job in the future but a great manager will him or herself want to move up the business ladder to even higher positions of authority. Having a willing and able replacement ready to go may be a very important factor in getting a personal job advancement yourself.
Not cultivating interpersonal relationships:
Emotional IQ is very important for managers and that usually means that a manager is also interested in some personal information about how the employee is doing away from work. It might be valuable to know what an employee plans to do three or five years from now and what other valuable interests the employee may have. Knowing about employee hobbies, continuing education efforts, networking, and what one does during leisure time can all be vital in adding personal touches to future conversations and pep talks.
Most employees react favorably if they sense a manager really cares about them and what they are doing and hope to do in life.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4800 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
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Ultimately the manager or boss sets the tone of the workplace. If the manager is competent, optimistic, almost always in a good mood, greets workers before work, is willing to give advice and ask for advice when appropriate, engages in solving problems, gives appropriate praise or rewards for work well done, fairly punishes or disciplines when necessary, shows concern for the emotional state of employees and empathizes with them, is kind and considerate, has a sense of humor, and generally has a positive can do attitude then you can’t really ask for much more.
The ideal manager has integrity, is moral, trustworthy, not pretentious, dependable, competent, respected, a good communicator, and has emotional intelligence. Respect is usually earned with time so trying to maintain respectability under almost all circumstances is important for the long haul.
Emotional intelligence: n. the ability to accurately assess a human’s emotional circumstance and to proceed to communicate appropriately and/or to motivate samer human to achieve a goal(s)
Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to impulsively control your impulsive desires to express intense anger, fear, hatred, jealousy, frustration and not offend or greatly threaten the human whom you are communicating with and not stimulate them into defensive intense emotional reactions. It is the ability to communicate these “negative” emotions where appropriate in a calm controlled way.
EQ is also the ability to confidently communicate loving, caring, empathetic, praising, or inspiring emotions which motivate a human to do their best at achieving a goal(s).
Emotional intelligence can be used to do good and/or bad things and to some extent it is also the ability to manipulate other humans to achieve desired goal(s). That is why managers with high emotional intelligence are sought after in business and institutional enterprises.
Good management means mostly staying emotionally cool or businesslike, listening intently to complaints, suggestions, or problems needing a solution, asking questions and follow up questions to pinpoint the problem, not arguing but being in discussion mode, attacking or trying to solve the problem without personal attacks, getting feedback on the progress of a job when necessary, being courteous and being polite can help in some instances, maintaining high standards of work and good behavior, and not micromanaging.
Employee disputes should be addressed by listening intently to both arguing sides, asking for or giving possible solutions, not taking sides and so not trying to embitter or create unneeded drama and hurt feelings, and letting the employees work it out for themselves if possible. Communicating your expectations and having a clear plan in mind on what to do is important in any dispute and job performance issue which needs guidance.
Mentoring and delegating authority in small steps may be done for employees who hope to advance in the organization to a managerial level.
A written warning can be issued and a little time given to resolve performance issues of a serious kind which may result in firing if not corrected.
We might mention that there is a big difference in managing well defined jobs such as cashiers, stock personnel, and janitors where you can be more authoritative and strict in your management style and managing a team of specialists who are all working together to fulfill project goals.
Managing a team of specialists or creative personnel where you have no detailed knowledge of their job skills is mainly a question of assessing possible cost of the project, length of the project time wise, number and type of personnel necessary, resources needed now, during, and at the end of the project, getting skillful feedback on progress during the project, and finally having the emotional intelligence to keep everyone motivated and working hard at achieving the stated goals of the project.
What you say to your employees and the tone of voice is also important. Sincerely saying good morning, how are you doing? anything new? how’s your family? is everything going smoothly? and any problems? can show a genuine interest in the well being of an employee. Saying – sorry I was wrong, I made a mistake, it was my fault, I could have done better, or laughing at an error shows humility and makes you more respected since employees realize that you are not claiming to be perfect and have some vulnerabilities.
There are many types of incompetent managers who may also have personality problems. They are not confident that they will climb the corporate ladder any further and are fearful that their job will be replaced by someone lower in the pecking order. They may be secretive and sometimes exert their authority with bossy threats, rudeness, and inconsiderate behavior. Added to this they may have a high turnover of employees fearing that one of them will eventually replace them and that they will be without a job or have to move on to another one. If you are this kind of a bad manager then you deserve what you will ultimately get-replaced.
Summarizing one could say that it is most important for a good manager or supervisor to be authentic and not pretentious, to motivate, communicate well and often enough with employees, and be a manager who is willing to learn something new and improve one’s job and human skill set. A good manager is a good role model, a leader, a teacher, a motivator, and a disciplinarian if necessary.
If you are interested in more detailed management knowledge then read a book on emotional intelligence such as Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry, and use a search engine to look up topics or words used in this article such as motivating employees, feedback, communicating in the workplace, leadership, teamwork, solving problems, disciplining employees, toxic employees, etc.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4500 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
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Michael Schneider summarized the 6 key attributes in Effective Bosses and I am commenting on his article based on his observations. While the attributes are considered valuable in managers it is not that easy to instill some of them if the managers don’t have them in the first place. Some attributes are only possible with an abundance of the right prior experiences and indoctrination at a relatively early age since changing an adult’s behavior is many times harder than it is to change a youth’s behavior. This is especially true when it comes to the question of evaluating emotional intelligence.
A growth mindset is really also having values and it means a manager who is interested in optimistically achieving growth in a changing environment by increasing his useful knowledge, skills, and competency in general with new learning.
You can list over 50 core values which manager should have but the most important values are integrity or basic morality and honesty; trustworthiness which is also a function of integrity, dependability, and competence; reputation and respect which results from integrity and trustworthiness; team spirit which comes from a leader with empathy, cooperative effort, and emotional intelligence; and a bottom line attitude which takes into consideration the cost and timeline for materials and personnel which determines how efficient the management actually is in planning and implementing work to be done.
How you instill these values in a manager who doesn’t have them in the first place is mission improbable but managers who have good values should be mentoring others who fall short in some value departments.
“Through Project Oxygen, it was revealed that the number one quality of effective managers is being a good coach. Google defines good coaching as:
Timely and specific feedback
Delivering hard feedback in a motivational and thoughtful way
Tailoring approaches to meet individual communication styles in regular one-on-one meetings
Practicing empathetic “active” listening and being fully present
Being cognizant of your own mindset and that of the employee
Asking open-ended questions to discover an employee’s acumen”
In coaching as a skill the first two points are techniques for optimizing the effectiveness of feedback and the last 4 are applying emotional intelligence principles.
“To ensure judgments aren’t made in a vacuum, Google has established a routine to help managers make better decisions. This framework includes asking and articulating:
What are you solving for, and is everyone on the same page? (Identify and communicate the root cause.)
Why is it important? (Does it support other business goals?)
Who is the decision maker?
How will the decision be made?
When can people expect a decision? (Keep stakeholders in the loop, and manage expectations.)”
Communicate what the decision is with a reason, why the decision has to be made or why it is necessary and how it supports other business goals, how the decision will be made and by whom, and when the decision will be made. It is basically answering who, what, where, when, and how will a decision be made? A very important omission is how much the decision itself will cost and how much cost will result from making the decision. These are potential planning and implementation costs.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4200 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
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If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4200 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
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To be successful in business you basically need to be in almost total control of yourself and that means being emotionally intelligent or being in control of your emotions with an ability to communicate well with humans. Surrounding yourself with confident, competent, talented coworkers and workers and networking with successful humans is vital for business success in the long duration.
Not everyone in business wants to be a leader in management but if you want to manage then there are the important things which you must know about emotions, career, employees, coworkers, communications, and bosses. Geoffrey James gives a pretty comprehensive detailed list of what is important to know under the listed categories. Here is a link to his rather comprehensive article on the “secrets” to business success.
http://www.inc.com/geoffrey-james/37-secrets-only-successful-people-know.html
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
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There are internal and external motivators. You are in charge of your internal motivations but it is also very important to have external human motivators who push you in the same basic direction that you want to go.
The best motivator is to surround yourself with competent talented humans who share in your vision of what your company should be. You can’t succeed alone no matter how confident you are or how much you believe in yourself so surrounding yourself with confident, competent, and talented humans is essential for long duration business success.
You must understand what your weaknesses and strengths are and hire personnel who complement your weaknesses and make for an overall strong company. The other approach is to minimize your weaknesses by personal effort but this is time consuming, there is no guarantee that you will succeed in strengthening your weaknesses, and in business time is of the essence so hiring someone with strength in your weak category is often the smartest quickest approach.
Perhaps the second most important motivator is an ability to remain optimistic through some failures which are inevitable in a growing business enterprise. Understanding that failure is an opportunity to learn what not to do is very important in any enterprise. If your vision is clear and functional then most failures will not put your company on the verge of bankruptcy.
Motivating yourself to overcome the fear of failure or pushing yourself into decisively acting in the face of some uncertainty is vital to business success. Remaining confident and decisive in the face of adversity and beyond is essential in any growing business. Believing in yourself and your vision is important to maintain, especially at times when it seems almost everything is conspiring against your success.
If you have emotional intelligence then that is very important but to stay motivated you need good role models to learn from. Read about successful entrepreneurs and imitate their good points and network with other successful entrepreneurs who can give you some important vital advice on what to do and who to further associate with. Business ultimately is a human enterprise and you need relevant input from other successful business humans.
Consuming healthy food and drink, getting enough exercise, and enough sleep is vital to staying in peak optimistic performance mode.
Geoffrey James gives an extensive list of how to stay motivated in a business in this link.
http://www.inc.com/geoffrey-james/57-ways-to-motivate-your-inner-entrepreneur.html
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
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Hiding things from your employees leads to uncertainty or suspicion which is an erosion of trust and makes them less respectful. There may be a time to hide the fact that there will be massive staff reductions since revealing this too far ahead of time may lead to some very qualified workers leaving for a new job. Other than this very unusual situation it is never good to hide things from your employees.
Being empathetic is a major key of emotional intelligence. If you understand the emotional state of an employee and can address their problem appropriately they will respect you more even if you convey news to them which may not be that pleasant. If you show them that you heard them out and acted accordingly with proper empathy you will not break the bond of trust which should exist and there will be greater acceptance of a circumstance.
The new generation due to technology is rather poor in interpersonal social skills, have bad emotional intelligence, and have an inability to handle interpersonal challenges well. Get them to interact personally with peer groups or communities and network with humans in person as much as possible so that they benefit from older more socially experienced humans.
Face the truth no matter how uncomfortable it may seem to you. It can be the truth about yourself, your workers, your customers, or your product deficiencies. If your product is substandard and your workers are not performing well then try to address the problems and move forward courageously trying to fix things.
Know your own weaknesses and those of your workers. Find or hire workers who will strengthen your deficiencies and those of your workers so that the business moves forward with strengths in all the necessary areas of expertise.
Don’t be emotionally aloof and ignore your worker’s emotional needs. Emotionally intelligent leaders interact with their workers in an empathetic way and express an interest in their personal feelings and interests outside of work. The more that you know about your workers and the more they know about you the more they will admire and respect you and empathize back thus forming a more positive bond of trust with you. It will no longer be an “us” and “them” mentality which is not a cohesive psychological force in the workplace.
You are ultimately responsible for the quality of the work and the esprit de corps of your business. That means hiring competent workers, getting rid of disruptive or incompetent workers, and motivating workers to do their best on the job.
In today’s dynamic and uncertain business environment which is constantly changing the primary objectives or vision of the company should not get lost and should be repeated. Even though the personnel and structure may have to be altered or changed from time to time the primary focus or goals of the company should not change radically. If new software and new products results in customer dissatisfaction then the lines of communication should be open so that appropriate changes can be made in a timely fashion.
The most successful leaders are those who surround themselves with smarter workers than the leader himself. If innovation is a necessity then these smart humans can use their exceptional skills to try new approaches which will keep the company competitive and at the forefront of current practices. The insecure micromanager surrounds himself with workers just like him with limited skill sets which prevent them from contributing much to innovation.
Mentor potential new leaders during relatively long waiting durations for mundane tasks. Using your relatively long periods of inactive free time to mentor young workers is time well spent. Mentor your current workers with leadership potential and hire some workers who will become future leaders. Shaping and molding future company leaders is vital to the overall success of a company in the long duration.
Don’t dwell in the past telling new team workers how great your old team was. They will begin to wonder why you chose to leave if it was such a great experience. Motivate new team workers to work towards future goals without emphasizing your past successes too much.
Have a clear vision of the future, communicate it to your workers, and motivate them to work towards or achieve that vision with your guidance. Knowing WHAT workers are working for in unison is a great motivator.
Competent leaders with good character, emotional intelligence, and integrity are knowledgeable, trusted, admired, and respected and don’t have to force compliance to the rules with threats, intimidation, humiliation, and demands or don’t have to micromanage the workforce to get things done properly.
Confident leaders lead through values, vision, and vulnerability and arrogant leaders often lead with fear, threats, blame, and ego. Emotional intelligence evolves gradually with time based primarily on selfawareness and knowing whether you are motivating workers primarily with positive approaches or resorting to too many negative tyrannical or bossy techniques.
Look like a leader with businesslike sharp posture, clothing, and looks and not an overly casual or disheveled laid back posture and looks.
Practicing curiosity which is basically asking relevant questions and getting truthful answers stimulates learning, collaboration, and potential innovation which is becoming more vital in a rapidly changing business environment. Not being curious favors a judgmental, blaming, telling, and shaming approach to leadership which frustrates workers, creates conflict, and impedes collaboration, innovation, and understanding.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
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Unless you are a celebrity or the object of some human’s jealousy you will find that most humans don’t really care that much whether you got a new car or promotion. You really shouldn’t let other’s opinions of you guide your behavior, especially if they are lavishing attention on you hoping to get some benefit out of you. We all like to be praised by others but what is most important is how we feel about our situation in life personally and how competent we are in what we are doing.
Family, close friends, and humans in general who really care about you are far more interested in your personality and the quality of the human interaction rather than your accomplishments and possessions.
Arranging your life primarily in the pursuit of money will not make you happy in the long duration because how successfully you spend your time, energy, and money on other humans will really determine your state of happiness in the long duration. Paying attention to the quality of your life experiences and not just a quantity of money is the true source of happiness without any regrets in old age for being too myopically focused on wealth and not having lived a full balanced life.
Avoid debt as much as possible because debt incurred by profligate spending and investing in a job poor largely useless education in young adulthood will become a terrible financial burden for the rest of your adult life. Of course you can declare bankruptcy and live much of your life with a debit card existence.
Learn how to be more persuasive and learn how to acquire emotional intelligence which will be a great advantage when trying to influence other humans. You will learn how to communicate and change other human minds, instill confidence in others, and sooth their fears. This means being a powerful communicator and the potential to become a human leader in any profession if you also have a good memory for names.
Have integrity, be dependable and competent which means being moral and responsible for your own actions and consequences while treating others with as much respect as they deserve and helping those in need where appropriate. Guard your integrity jealously because trust and respect from others is impossible without it.
Prepare for the unexpected or have a plan B in mind if chaos breaks out. An emergency financial savings is the safety net when loss of a job, loss of spouse, or business failure surfaces to cause chaotic turmoil.
In business success means outperforming or being better than your competitors. If you are at the top then competing with yourself or becoming better at what you are doing is the key to remaining at the top.
Selfawareness or knowing yourself and realizing that others view you the same way is a big advantage when interacting and working with others.
Personal biases or personal opinions and beliefs affect the way that you view the world so it is important to understand that any decision which you make will be dependent on them to a large extent. When confronted with failure it is time to reflect and possibly modify or change those opinions and beliefs to ones that will mean success in future attempts at goal achievement.
Accept that the past can’t be changed. Live in the present courageously making plans for a better future yet to come.
Humans and ideas much different than your own are the source for creativity and possible enrichment of your life. You will learn more and potentially grow faster in your understanding of possibilities yet to be achieved.
Travel more or surf the internet visiting other places and cultures. New perspectives on business and life will refresh you and reveal new possibilities to take advantage of.
The truly successful have a passion for what they are doing and do it well so if you haven’t found anything to be passionate about then keep looking or take risks to find out what that might be.
An impulsive reaction influenced by anger or panic can ruin a lifetime of work in a relatively short duration so don’t let your emotions get the best of you when making important decisions.
Holding grudges consumes much time and energy holding on to hatred so try to forgive a stranger or family member if they have not been immoral.
Recognize that there is much that you don’t know. If you find someone more knowledgeable then try to delegate the relevant task. If you are confronted with a discussion where you lack sufficient knowledge then resist the urge to jump in and contribute and being foolish in the process.
If you are competent and believe in yourself the confidence will encourage others to believe what you say.
Everyone has a fear of failing but the successful ones overcome the fearful anxiety and move forward with action and don’t let fear restrain them that often.
It is good to have good role models or heroes whom you are trying to imitate or learn from. Not all the knowledge that you acquire will be useful in a rapidly changing technological era. Some new useful creativity will be your responsibility to discover and apply to new ever changing circumstances.
Avoiding crippling addictive bad habits like gambling, alcohol, drugs, promiscuity, pornography, and impulsive shopping will optimize your ability to function most effectively and efficiently at work and home.
Take care of your health by eating organic and getting enough exercise and sleep. Nothing will short circuit a successful career faster than failing health in your vital years.
Nothing is perfectly predictable and the good guys don’t always win in the real world. This sometimes means being content or grateful for what you have so far rather than what you hope to have which doesn’t seem to be materializing for you.
Your happy optimistic attitude starts out as a conscious desire which soon becomes a good habit or the happy optimistic attitude unrelentingly repeats itself in your life as you live it.
You need to be honest with yourself and know your weaknesses as well as your strengths. Knowing your weaknesses you can either try to strengthen them with new knowledge and skills or you can hire humans who are not weak in your area to work for you if it is a business.
An opportunity may arise suddenly and it may seem like unexpected luck. Talent, the right useful education, and hard work is essential which qualifies you for an opportunity when it comes along even though sometimes there may be a desire to give up prematurely because no breaks or good fortune seem to be coming your way.
When you become very successful try to give back by supporting truly worthwhile causes such as wilderness conservation and restoration, sustainable research, and basic medical and biological research. You will be promoting the possibility of a better life for future generations.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
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Emotional intelligence: n. the ability to accurately assess a human’s emotional circumstance and to proceed to communicate appropriately and/or to motivate samer human to achieve a goal(s)
Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to impulsively control your impulsive desires to express intense anger, fear, hatred, jealousy, frustration and not offend or greatly threaten the human whom you are communicating with and not stimulate them into defensive intense emotional reactions. It is the ability to communicate these “negative” emotions where appropriate in a calm controlled way.
EQ is also the ability to confidently communicate loving, caring, empathetic, praising, or inspiring emotions which motivate a human to do their best at achieving a goal(s).
Emotional intelligence can be used to do good and/or bad things and to some extent it is also the ability to manipulate other humans to achieve desired goal(s). That is why managers with high emotional intelligence are sought after in business and institutional enterprises.
Sociopaths are sometimes also good at manipulating gullible humans and they could also be said to have a high degree of EQ but they lack integrity so they are severely handicapped socially and they are usually never admired and respected by others with integrity.
Propagandists, dictators like Hitler, and politicians in general have high EQ and the more unscrupulous kind name call or stereotype and associate ideas and humans with angry, fearful, and hateful reactions motivating humans into action with these “negative” emotions. They optimize human motivation with both “positive” and “negative” emotions and are still idolized by brainwashed devoted followers. Hitler was an evil genius with a high EQ who motivated vast populations into obedient behaviors with anger, fear, hatred, pride, and love of the “fatherland”. He optimized the motivation in his Aryan hoards totally devoted to the conquest of the world.
Parents with high emotional intelligence usually have offspring with high emotional intelligence because it is learned from parental role models and personal experience with other good role models. Emotional intelligence can be acquired through extensive interactions and experience with a variety of humans throughout a lifetime and those who mostly learn from personal human experience and not much from parents or school role models are usually mature experienced middle aged and older humans who only acquire EQ late in life.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
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Develop emotional intelligence:
Only about a third of the population is consciously aware of their emotional reactions when they happen or have emotional control and awareness. Those that do understand and can tolerate strong negative emotions in others without aggressively lashing out with defensive anger are also not easily frustrated.
Emotional intelligence is largely learned by much experience or interaction with many diverse humans and it is an ability to read, empathize, and react appropriately with other humans. My educated guess is that having emotionally intelligent parents, coming from a family with many offspring, being a leader of school activities, and socializing much all help in making you more emotionally intelligent at an earlier age since emotional intelligence is largely learned and not an inborn ability.
Develop confidence:
Real confidence originates from competence or a belief that one can handle most situations and human interactions competently. For most average humans competence takes time to learn but high achievers and ambitious humans have a distinct advantage because they are internally motivated or are selfconfident by nature.
Be adaptable:
Recognize that new circumstances or failure may mean doing things a little differently so that old mistakes are not repeated over and over again. Adapting to changing goals, changed circumstances, and changing results is a sign that you have courageously overcome your fear of change and embrace it.
Don’t be afraid to say no:
When you have prior commitments which must be fulfilled one of the worst things that you can do is overburden yourself with new commitments which endanger the old. Avoid saying “I’m not sure”, “I don’t think I can do it”, “I’m not certain”, or “Maybe” because it can be the source for overwork, too much stress, depression, and maybe even job burnout.
Don’t let the fear of mistakes and failure handicap you:
View mistakes and failure as a learning experience and a challenge to not fail the same way a second time. If you think that new useful information, knowledge, or skills are necessary then take time out to acquire them before you attempt some goal again with plan B. Distance yourself emotionally from past failures but don’t forget some of the details which made it into a learning experience, hopefully not to be repeated again the same way.
Revel in your own accomplishments and that of others:
Enjoy and take pride in your accomplishments and don’t depress yourself with a comparison with someone better. Similarly, don’t depressingly point to someone who accomplished more when complimenting another for his or her success.
Don’t hold grudges:
Forgiving without asking for an apology is often the smart thing to do because festering hate or anger is a form of lasting mental victimization which you should want no part of.
Be relentlessly enthusiastic with much optimism:
Don’t let bad current events and bad offensive remarks ruin your optomistic attitude, especially if it is something which you have no personal control over.
Don’t forget to recharge your body:
Try to eat healthy organic food, get enough exercise, and get enough sleep because you can’t function at optimal mental efficiency daily with an unhealthy sleep deprived body.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
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They don’t always assume that what they think and feel is a true reflection of what is really going on in someone’s mind or the real reason behind someone’s behavior. They realize that sometimes their assumptions about others may be flawed or inaccurate and further probing or experience may be necessary to discover the truth about a human.
They don’t think external influences directly control their emotions. They understand that their emotional state is their responsibility and under their control and don’t think the responsibility for the emotional state is an external influence or its control is exerted by external influences.
They don’t think that they can control and guarantee future happiness. They understand that what they think will make them happy in the future is a projection of what has made them happy in the past. If it is some future new projection or goal to be achieved then they realize that there is no guarantee that achieving it will really make them happy and that they won’t really know how happy until it actually happens.
They don’t think that being fearful is necessarily being on the wrong path because life is sometimes risky and repeated failure or new failure is always a possibility when trying something new. They risk doing new things despite a little fear which they feel might be a good thing and something they would like and perhaps even love.
They don’t think that sustained happiness is possible. They know that a sustained state of happiness is an illusion and they are not trying to reach that impossible delusional state but live day to day and enjoy whatever happiness comes with it.
They don’t easily change their views. They recognize that others sometimes try to change their thoughts, beliefs, and opinions but even though they have an open mind they are not gullible, are introspective, and don’t automatically reject the validity of their own viewpoints.
They don’t freely express all their emotions in public. Few but not all their intense emotions are expressed in public. Any intense anger or hatred are reserved to be more honestly, freely, and intimately expressed in a circle of trustworthy family and close friends.
They don’t think that any one emotion is permanent. They understand and are aware that shitty or very bad feelings are transient and eventually subside so they develop composure, control, or stamina which prevents the intense feelings from frequently being expressed in public.
They don’t confuse bad emotions or a bad day of emotional turmoil with a bad life in general and don’t become chronic complainers if they have more than their share of bad days or bad circumstances.
They don’t express empathy and sympathy all the time. They try to express empathy or sympathy where appropriate for humans suffering from bad circumstances or emotional turmoil but realize that some humans overly complain just to get attention so an expression of empathy or sympathy is not always forthcoming if not deserved.
They don’t overwhelm humans with fake exaggerated praise and compliments but express approval with sincere honest remarks and appropriate enthusiasm.
They don’t gullibly believe charismatic con artists manipulating emotions with information, goods, and services which sound too good to be true, especially get rich schemes and miracle cures.
They don’t believe emotional intelligence is inborn but believe it is something acquired with human experience. In general they assume a more mature or older human with much human interaction has more emotional intelligence than a young inexperienced adult with little social exposure.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.
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Influential humans are valuable to others by solving major general and/or specific problems in their many or mass “customer” lives.
Influential humans are valuable to other influencers by being able to solve some major general and/or specific problems which the influencers may have at the moment.
Influential humans are good public speakers and can communicate to relatively large interested audiences.
Influential humans are authentic and passionate and greatly care about what they are doing and want to do it with humans of integrity whom they can respect and trust.
Influential humans seek out other mass influencers and try to develop schmoozing or networking relationships at the least and closer friendships if possible with bigger influencers always in an atmosphere of mutual respect and admiration.
Influential humans prioritize relationships with other mass influencers and try not to waste their precious time on influencers with minimum potential to help promote their goal(s).
Influential humans understand the power of two way communication necessary in reciprocity or the power of exchange of mutually beneficial information and favors.
Influential humans try to become the formal and/or informal hub of a community of influencers which keeps building in strength and membership with duration.
Influential humans are inspirational and can motivate you to follow the idea or vision which they are trying to sell rather successfully.
Influential humans repetitively take actions directed towards their goal(s) and when indecision strikes and they aren’t sure what action to take they seek advice and guidance from those who should be in the know or have greater influence.
Influential humans try to give back to the community at large some of their success by promoting their own philanthropic cause(s) and/or the philanthropic causes of others whom they admire and respect.
Influential humans, when appropriate, introduce two or more influential humans with one another making sure to inform or stress the laudable achievements of either party to each other.
Influential humans are generally honest, sincere, trustworthy, dependable, empathetic, friendly, competent, confident, decisive, and have a very good if not excellent memory for names. They excel in emotional intelligence.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 2400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
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Circle whether you agree, somewhat agree, or disagree with the 20 communications.
agree somewhat agree disagree
agree somewhat agree disagree
agree somewhat agree disagree
agree somewhat agree disagree
agree somewhat agree disagree
agree somewhat agree disagree
agree somewhat agree disagree
agree somewhat disagree disagree
agree somewhat agree disagree
agree somewhat agree disagree
agree somewhat agree disagree
agree somewhat agree disagree
agree somewhat agree disagree
Agree somewhat agree disagree
agree somewhat agree disagree
Agree somewhat agree disagree
Agree somewhat agree disagree
agree somewhat agree disagree
agree somewhat agree disagree
Agree somewhat agree disagree
Total agrees _____ Total somewhat agrees_____ Total disagrees____
A candidate who totally agrees with all or most of the good problem solving techniques is a liar to some extent because no one is perfect and he or she is afraid to reveal underlying weaknesses. That human is potentially a good yes man or woman but not one who will be very good at realistic leadership skills in problem solving.
A candidate with more than a handful of somewhat disagrees can be further questioned on why they somewhat disagree and you may find a truly thinking human who has useful and even workable but different opinions from perfection in all areas. If the somewhat disagrees seem plausible and convincing then you may have a great problem solver as an employee.
A candidate with some disagrees is also useful information because you can follow up and ask why the disagreement and how would you handle the circumstance differently. Some reasons might be totally stupid but it might also reveal a personality that is intolerant, tyrannical, unable to deal with all kinds of employee personalities, has bad problem solving skills, etc.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1500 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
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There are 9 characteristics of the ideal job and a high probability that you will not land in one because of human incompetence and selfishness.
You will have much opportunity for advancement.
Your bonus structure will greatly supplement your income.
If you are a salesman your territory will be protected and won’t change.
You’ll get extensive training as necessary.
You’ll have scheduling flexibility so you can work from home sometimes.
You’ll get assistants to help you if your work load becomes too burdensome.
You’ll get more exciting or better work once you fix the problem that exists in the department or once you complete a specified project.
You will be working with supportive members.
You will have a competent manager or boss.
The truth is that –
Not all jobs have room for advancement unless the boss dies, changes jobs, or gets promoted.
Bonuses and salary increases may be paltry at most.
If you are a sales human with designated territory then it may be broken up into smaller territories.
Extensive training is costly and you may be denied it due to budget cuts or lack of free time.
You may never be able to work from home due to security reasons or job rules.
Instead of getting assistants to lighten your workload, it will just grow larger and more stressful.
Once you fix the problem in a department or project you may be assigned to a mediocre position or even get fired.
You may find your coworkers to be uncooperative overly security conscious humans who are hard to communicate with and may fail at doing things efficiently.
Your manager or boss may be handicapped with slight, even complete incompetence or not have enough emotional intelligence to communicate effectively with you. At worst the manager or boss will try to rule with threats of punishment or through fear and intimidation and will be disrespected by almost everyone for the basically tyrannical managerial or bossing style.
CONCLUSION:
Not all jobs are perfect and meet the 9 criteria listed but you may be satisfied with less than the 9 specified if you are desperate or realistic enough.
Your job may not be that skilled and you may be considered a replaceable part, the business may be very hierarchically structured with seniority playing a major role, and the business may be run according to old rules which discourage innovation and advancement within the organization.
That being said it is up to you to determine what kind of a business you would like to work for and it is always smart to ask ahead of time for examples of workers within the company who have succeeded in the path which you hope to follow.
Employers like to paint a rosy picture of their organization and may BS you to some extent. It is ultimately your responsibility to get them to prove what they are saying by asking for concrete good examples of happy and successful personnel during a job interview. The humans who started out where you did and made it to where you want to end up is important information to know from your new employer.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.
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If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!
https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1200 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.
Enjoy!!!!!!
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Dr. Travis Bradberry does a great job explaining the secrets of being persuasive and I list them here but hope that you will read the article which is a clear and concise explanation of each category.
They know their audience
They connect
They aren’t pushy
They aren’t mousy
They use positive body language
They are clear and concise
They are genuine
They acknowledge your point of view
They ask good questions
They paint a picture
They leave a strong first impression
They know when to step back
They greet people by name
They are pleasers
They smile
Putting it all together
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/14-secrets-really-persuasive-people-dr-travis-bradberry
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.
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Emotional intelligence: n. the ability to accurately assess a human’s emotional circumstance and to proceed to communicate appropriately and/or to motivate samer human to achieve a goal(s)
Emotional intelligence is the new buzzword being used to talk about a human’s ability to assess another’s emotional circumstance and communicate appropriately without getting into arguments or severe disagreements. It is frequently seen as an advantage for leaders who are trying to motivate their workforce into doing a good job and basically maintaining a good esprit de corps. Emotional intelligence should really be called emotional smarts or ES because it is largely an acquired skill and not inborn that much.
Sometimes the smartest thing to do is just let a very angry and annoyed human calm down before starting a conversation with them. At other times it is smart to try and diffuse the anger with appropriate words which register a certain amount of empathy but communicate a need to proceed quickly to do something about a bad situation despite very bad feelings about it. “I feel your pain, suffering, or anger but we must move on despite it.” This generally summarizes the tactic needed to resolve emotional distress, especially in the work place.
The emotionally intelligent just like intelligent humans usually have a good memory for names and events, especially those relevant to a human. They can sometimes draw on these past events and use them in handling a touchy present situation. “Remember a similar situation which arose in the past where you had the same basic problem and we resolved it?”
This kind of historical memory helps to custom fit a potential dispute and diffuse a problem without the need for lengthy discussion starting from scratch. Humans like to feel that you care about them and if you bring up past events in their lives then this shows that you have been empathetic and caring in the past and are probably only wanting to help them in their current state of distress.
Emotional intelligence or emotional memory is partly inborn but it can also be an acquired trait to a large extent with exposure to humans of all types and many social experiences with diverse personalities.
During a job interview many employers go with their “gut” feeling which basically means that they are impulsively judging you based on appearance, gestures or body language, speech mannerisms, and conversational ability.
Being able to discuss job related issues almost flawlessly is also important but your optimistic attitude and the way that you present yourself during the interview play a major role in the ultimate decision making process. You basically have to come across as a likable human in addition to what your actual expertise may be in the job which you are applying for.
If a leader is not charismatic he or she may still have a good reputation among employees by being honest, sincere, dependable, competent, friendly, and trustworthy. It is far easier to communicate with employees or a significant other if they basically respect you and maybe even admire you to some extent.
Being emotionally intelligent about yourself is also frequently ignored as a desirable trait to have. If you are very angry and annoyed then that may not be the best time for you to enter a conversation with someone else. Being calm, cool, or collected is just a way of saying that you should be smart and seldom vent your anger and disappointment at others unless you then proceed to solve any problem or problems which may have caused you that emotional distress in the first place.
Having emotional intelligence should make most of your communications with close relationships successful but a very important aspect of emotional intelligence is giving appropriate praise when earned. Human’s like to feel good about themselves and if you appropriately praise or reward them for their successful efforts then you will go a long way towards motivating them to proceed to even more or greater achievements.
Exaggerated praise or rewards are inappropriate in the long duration and you should try to develop a sense of justice which is a measured and appropriate reward or punishment which of course is frequently in verbal form and not necessarily always physical such as granting a privilege or denying it.
Emotional intelligence is very useful in everyday relationships with humans, especially the ones closest to you. To have a complete discussion of the emotional intelligence of a leader you must include a discussion of leadership skills in general which are never exclusively emotional in character.
Emotional intelligence is really a very complex and detailed subject which includes all the emotional states or circumstances that a human can be in. To intuitively and accurately guess what emotional state or circumstance a human is in is only successful in some cases with spouses which you have interacted with or have known for many years.
In general the smartest thing to do is to ask a person what emotional state they are in with a question. “How do you feel now? or How do you feel about that? They may still try to hide their emotional state from you with hedging or evasive tactics but in most cases you will much more accurately find out how one really feels by asking them. Get more certainty about someone’s emotional circumstance and you can then proceed accordingly with hopefully better conversational and situational results.
IQ and EQ stand for intelligence quotient and emotional quotient and the most desirable leaders are the ones with much EQ since IQ can be considered to be the tip of the iceberg which shows or is known and EQ is the vast bulk of the iceberg below the water line which doesn’t show or is usually unknown. This is an analogy which just states that EQ is a much more desirable characteristic than IQ to have in leaders.
EQ is a function of all the good and bad experiences which you have had in your life with other humans and how well you remember those experiences intuitively and is not easily quantifiable whereas IQ is more quantifiable and is basically a measure of how good your memory is for book knowledge.
EQ is a much more impulsive or intuitive ability whereas IQ frequently requires more thinking ability and less impulsiveness. Nevertheless in many cases intuition or impulsiveness are still major characteristics for both EQ and IQ.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1200 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
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Charismatic (the ideal leader is charismatic and that means that they have as many of the 7 following characteristics in abundance as possible)
COMPETENT (the ideal leader is competent or has a history of success in leadership positions, is experienced, skillful, and knowledgeable enough to know with feedback what to do and radiates confidence and determination and has an exceptional memory for names and events.)
INTEGRITY (the ideal leader is honest and moral which creates a trusting bond, respect, and sometimes admiration and loyalty from the led.)
STRATEGIC (the ideal leader has vision and can keep a focus on long duration goals and communicate this to others and has the courage, ambition, boldness, commitment, and stamina to keep pursuing the long duration goals.)
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (the ideal leader can interact and communicate well, has an intuitive sense, is aware of or has empathy and frequently senses how another feels and what they basically have to do, has composure and rarely loses emotional control, is optimistic, encouraging, and inspirational or is a good motivator.)
ACCOUNTABILITY (the ideal leader is responsible and expects responsible behavior from employees who are expected to follow contractual, legal, and moral behavioral rules. The leader knows how to delegate some authority, especially to those with leadership potential, and how to keep humans accountable for their work with appropriate rewards and punishments which frequently are verbal praise, helpful criticism, promises, an occasional threat, and not necessarily always physical consequences in the short duration but physical consequences are important in the long duration.)
CONTROLLING (the ideal leader is decisive and judgmental or is not afraid to take control and make decisions when they have to be made, is flexible or resilient and can adjust goals to unexpected circumstances, can be creative or is open to new tactics to achieve goals, is selfefficatious or confident that goals can be achieved, and has a sense of humor when shit happens.)
HUMILITY (Finally a great leader is not a braggart and has the humility to understand that success at reaching important goals is the result of team effort and not just personal effort. Understands that much of the success is due to the efforts of all the team members of an organization and gives earned praise to successful team effort. A great leader also has the humility to know that the customer of his information, service, and products needs to be satisfied with quality output and good customer service or the business or organization will not survive in the long duration even with a monopoly.)
CONCLUSION:
A competent leader must have competent employees and if the employee does not meet the necessary criteria for excellence then the leader must have the courage to replace, fire, and hire the employee at will.
Finally a wealthy pinnacle leader who has stopped promoting and effectively leading must pass the baton to younger and more capable competent leaders or in effect delegate most of the authority which they have accumulated over the years.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1100 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
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Smartness: n. a human having complete logical reasoning skills and successfully applying them to solve political and social and economic and scientific problems and/or having emotional intelligence
Many humans confuse intelligence with being smart. Although intelligent humans are frequently also smart there are plenty of intelligent humans doing stupid things which are not so smart to do.
Intelligence is really having a very good memory for facts and information which may not necessarily be used in a smart way. Being smart is having the reasoning or logical ability to find practical solutions to problems and an added bonus is having emotional intelligence which helps you to successfully deal with human emotional states.
There are many smart humans with relatively little book learning who have had extensive contact with humans and have learned important information on their own or with personal experience. It can help in many instances to have good grades and a college degree but there are plenty of very smart humans who have become very successful without the formal education. Very smart humans are frequently bored by formal education and learn most of what they have to know on their own.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 900 so far, and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.
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uldissprogis 