Tag Archives: empathy

UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1728!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 5100 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTHUPDATED NEW QUOTES, and DON’T BE INEFFICIENT, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1708!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 5100 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1583!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4900 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1509!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4800 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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GOOD RELATIONSHIPS!!!

Most young adults were asked what would make them happy and a popular response is to have money or be rich and famous. In a longitudinal Harvard study beginning in the 1930’s and still going on about 75 years later the conclusion seems to be that GOOD RELATIONSHIPS are the key to a happy life. We will investigate what a good relationship is and how you can optimize the chances that you will have good relationships throughout a lifetime.

There are many kinds of relationships which can even be called forms of friendships which are very close, close, casual, and rather remote or what could be called acquaintances.

There are minimal or borderline relationships where the contact between a human is minimal or even nonexistent. We are talking here about the relationships which you may have with national politicians, celebrities, writers, or hero like role models which you mostly just view, listen to, or read about but they still impact your life and choices to some extent. Most of these interactions are almost a one way street where you view, listen, or read but don’t actually have physical contact with the human beyond just voting for a politician, attending a celebrity gathering,  just viewing a video, listening to a podcast, or reading about someone in an article or book.

Our primary focus will be on adult relationships because parental relationships between parent and child have a different dynamic since most parents are in charge or are responsible for supervising their offspring or adopted children. If you want to learn more about parent child relationships then read my book MODERN PARENTING by Uldis Sprogis on Amazon.

Perhaps a good starting point to understand what a good relationship is, we should briefly cover what bad relationships are so that you can try to avoid them.

In a bad relationship the human lies much and can’t be trusted, is immoral, the human is not dependable, is incompetent, has bad addictions, or is not a good conversationalist.

In a bad marital relationship the spouse may be verbally and even physically abusive and argues most of the time about even rather trivial things. At the other extreme a spouse may be non communicative and basically ignores the partner most of the time. This too is a bad relationship.

Not so obvious is the fact that bad relationships should be terminated as soon as possible. If it is a bad spousal relationship then divorce is a very real option and if it is a bad friend then you should seriously consider ending the friendship since it will handicap you in the long duration.

Trust is the bond which keeps good relationships going and if you can’t trust someone then a good relationship is not possible. If a relationship without trust exists then it is a highly dysfunctional one with a lot of misery associated with it. Some spouses stay in a bad relationship because they believe it is best for the children or out of financial necessity but this is a fallacy because if you are in a dysfunctional spousal relationship then you are a terrible role model for the children who will grow up and also probably be dysfunctional in their marital relationship. So integrity or being honest and moral is vital to a trusting good relationship.

In a nutshell if you have integrity, are trustworthy, dependable, competent, sincere, friendly, a good conversationalist, and empathetic then you have the potential to be respected and maybe even admired by others. Yes, you can be admired for just being rich but if you don’t have the above good personality then you will not be respected by most humans.

Some humans complain that they don’t have interesting friends whom they can interact with. The truth is that if you want interesting friends then you YOURSELF must also be interesting so that you can share mutual satisfying interests. If you are looking for a friend who has a great personality, is friendly, is optimistic, and does interesting things and has the time and money to do those things then you too must have a great personality, be friendly, be optimistic, and have the time and money to pursue those interesting things.

Not commonly realized is the basic fact that the more interests which you have in common in a relationship, the chances are that you will have a better relationship since it won’t become that boring very soon. So basically if you are an interesting human with many interests then the chances of meeting someone with one or more similar interests is more probable.

Before you go out looking for good relationships make sure that you have one or more important things to offer someone. If your personality is not that great then make an effort to improve it before you try to enter relationships. Similarly, if you have almost no important interests to talk about then start finding some interests to make you more of a magnet in a relationship.

Sometimes you find out that a human is interested in something which you wish you knew more about. Take some time out to research the interest and learn the basics about it. Then get back to them and continue the conversation by showing that you did some research into the interest and have some unanswered questions. Most will appreciate that you really put in some effort trying to understand their area of interest and most will gladly share their experiences with the interest. This approach is especially valuable if you have a gut feeling that you like a human’s personality and would like to include them on your friend’s or networking list.

Ultimately you should put in much effort improving yourself first, before you start looking for someone that you may want to connect with. Become someone with an optimistic attitude and friendly personality for starters and then make yourself into an interesting human even though it probably won’t happen overnight.

To start a relationship you must interact with humans who potentially have similar interests and some of the best places to meet others is on the job, with friends of relatives, with friends of friends, at events which interest you and that you attend, at social gatherings like weddings, sporting events, religious services, community events, volunteering, political campaigns, and on the internet via social media, dating sites, and clubs or causes. Yes, you can also meet humans at bars, the coffee shop, movie theater, and in the supermarket but the chances that you will meet someone compatible are rather remote.

Knowing thyself is very important in life and if you don’t know or are unaware of your bad habits and good ones then you really will never consciously know how to improve yourself. In the book GOOD RELATIONSHIPS by Uldis Sprogis you will discover what good and bad habits are and then you can courageously proceed to decrease or totally eliminate some bad habits and replace them with more of your good habits and maybe even some good new ones.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4800 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1483!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4800 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1459!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4700 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1305!!!

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4600 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1186!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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6 SMALL TIPS ON MILDLY INFLUENCING HUMANS!!!

The real major way to influence humans in a good way, be respected, and maybe even be admired is to have integrity or be honest and moral, be trustworthy, sincere, dependable, friendly, competent, empathetic, and a good conversationalist. If you have mutual interests and share them then you are well on your way to having a good impact or influence on others and you will probably benefit in major ways yourself.

That said, here are 6 helpful small tips which will increase your ability to influence others and perhaps be better liked.

Asking small favors if done right will make humans like you more if you have had little interaction with them to start with. Most humans like to help others and feel good about it after they have helped, especially if it costs them very little time, little effort, and almost no money in the process. Asking for a favor is especially effective if it is something which the human loves, likes, or enjoys such as a favorite food, drink, or book. If you generally agree or express a liking for something a human likes then they generally will like you more.

Start with- “Could you do me a small favor?” (and smile)

“I’ll pay for it but could you please bring me back a sample of your favorite donut, cookie, candy, sandwich, taco, soft drink, beer, wine, etc.?”

“Could I please borrow the book that you read and enjoyed?”

“Could I please borrow the book after you are finished with it?”

“Could I please borrow for a day your rake, shovel, blower, power tool, blender, etc.”

“Please lend me your _ for a minute, hour, or day.”

“May I use your telephone for an important call?”

“Would you mind closing the window?”

Could you help me with my homework?

“Could you take a look at this email and recommend an answer?”

 

If you want humans to think highly of you then remembering and using their NAME is one of the most important things in relationships, especially if you will not see the human for a long time but will run into them again in a casual way.

 

Flattery can be used sparingly and in its best form it is sincere praise. “Great job, that was masterful, loved what you did, gorgeous outfit, inspiring performance, couldn’t have done it better, wow, impressive, you are special, etc.” Be careful because if you flatter someone who doesn’t deserve it then it can backfire as insincere phony exaggeration.

 

Unless you’re a boss telling someone that they are wrong or correcting their mistakes, correcting puts humans in defensive mode trying to protect their ego and they will not be very receptive to any requests which you may decide to make or follow up with.

 

One of the best ways to bond or show empathy for a human is to repeat something which they have said and that makes humans aware that you are listening to them or are interested in what they are saying. They will be more comfortable and friendly with you since you seem to care about them by this repetition or reflective listening.

 

Nodding at someone during a conversation seems to imply that you are agreeing with them and they are more likely to do you a favor when you ask for it or in effect they are nodding back and agreeing with you.

 

While these 6 tips are not that important in old close friendships they are sometimes useful in casual acquaintances or friendships.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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HOW TO HAVE A GOOD CONVERSATION!!!

Before talking to someone it is important to first know what the goal, purpose, or subject of the conversation is. Is it to just greet and just say hello or do you want to convey some information or instructions, get an answer to a question, discuss a topic, get to better know a human, get someone to help you with a task, or just make idle chit chat.

If the conversation is designed to sell something, to persuade someone, or to discuss job performance then this requires specialized skill sets not covered here. Public speaking is a one way conversation which is a skill we will not cover here.

A conversation may last longer than the goal that you had in mind but you should do your best to complete the goal of the conversation before you delve into other subject or topic areas if the need or impulse arises. Try to be brief and to the point before you get sidetracked which can happen occasionally.

Body language is important and you should not cross your arms or stare intently during a long conversation. Eye contact is more important during a short conversation and smiling always helps but you can deflect your eyes quite often during a long conversation.

Word fillers can be just as annoying as long pauses so try to avoid repeating useless words such as “um”, “like”, and “you know” throughout the conversation.

Really listen to the response and you will better be able to judge whether you were misunderstood, whether the human was upset or delighted by your question or statement, or whether the human is offering an opinion or fact which can be used as a follow up question or a reason to continue the flow of the conversation. If you really listen more than you talk then you may be surprised by what you can learn and you will be respected more since you will be showing a sincere interest in the talker.

It is ok to interrupt if the human is getting off subject or is delving into boring trivia. You can interrupt and can change the subject or postpone the discussion to a later date or time. Some interruptions can be rude such as the distractions of a cell phone, others entering the conversation unannounced, and trying to multitask.

A lengthy conversation is usually a two way street or a mutual conversation and empathy is sometimes very important. To demonstrate sincere empathetic engagement you can repeat another’s word, phrase, or sentence and use this as a source for follow up questions which keep the conversation going. Using words such as “I know how you feel”, “That happened to me too”, “I feel your excitement or pain”, and “My feeling exactly” will make a human feel that they are saying something important or interesting and that you care about them.

If there is time then you can tell a story or relate a personal experience which fits the topic of the conversation and gets the point across so do this. Many humans like stories with a point and personal experiences or examples from real life which inform or demonstrate a principle.

Sometimes conversations can erupt into arguments, especially when opinions or beliefs conflict or a human feels that they have been offended, so try to remain in discussion mode and apologize if you hurt someone’s feelings unintentionally. Sometimes agree to disagree to get the conversation out of confrontation mode.

If you have integrity or are honest and moral, are trustworthy, sincere, dependable, friendly, and competent with some empathy then humans will respect you and even admire you. They will be more interested in what you have to say.

In a nutshell to have a good conversation, listen more than you speak, ask follow up questions, stick to topics of mutual interest, and be empathetic where appropriate.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1032!!!

fotorcreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4100 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 898!!!

fotorcreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3900 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 883!!!

fotorcreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3800 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 880!!!

fotorcreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3800 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 847!!!

fotorcreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3800 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 687!!!

FotorCreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3600 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 584!!!

FotorCreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3500 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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16 IMPORTANT LEADERSHIP TIPS!!!

LEadership-banner1-300x194

Hiding things from your employees leads to uncertainty or suspicion which is an erosion of trust and makes them less respectful. There may be a time to hide the fact that there will be massive staff reductions since revealing this too far ahead of time may lead to some very qualified workers leaving for a new job. Other than this very unusual situation it is never good to hide things from your employees.

Being empathetic is a major key of emotional intelligence. If you understand the emotional state of an employee and can address their problem appropriately they will respect you more even if you convey news to them which may not be that pleasant. If you show them that you heard them out and acted accordingly with proper empathy you will not break the bond of trust which should exist and there will be greater acceptance of a circumstance.

The new generation due to technology is rather poor in interpersonal social skills, have bad emotional intelligence, and have an inability to handle interpersonal challenges well. Get them to interact personally with peer groups or communities and network with humans in person as much as possible so that they benefit from older more socially experienced humans.

Face the truth no matter how uncomfortable it may seem to you. It can be the truth about yourself, your workers, your customers, or your product deficiencies. If your product is substandard and your workers are not performing well then try to address the problems and move forward courageously trying to fix things.

Know your own weaknesses and those of your workers. Find or hire workers who will strengthen your deficiencies and those of your workers so that the business moves forward with strengths in all the necessary areas of expertise.

Don’t be emotionally aloof and ignore your worker’s emotional needs. Emotionally intelligent leaders interact with their workers in an empathetic way and express an interest in their personal feelings and interests outside of work. The more that you know about your workers and the more they know about you the more they will admire and respect you and empathize back thus forming a more positive bond of trust with you. It will no longer be an “us” and “them” mentality which is not a cohesive psychological force in the workplace.

You are ultimately responsible for the quality of the work and the esprit de corps of your business. That means hiring competent workers, getting rid of disruptive or incompetent workers, and motivating workers to do their best on the job.

In today’s dynamic and uncertain business environment which is constantly changing the primary objectives or vision of the company should not get lost and should be repeated. Even though the personnel and structure may have to be altered or changed from time to time the primary focus or goals of the company should not change radically. If new software and new products results in customer dissatisfaction then the lines of communication should be open so that appropriate changes can be made in a timely fashion.

The most successful leaders are those who surround themselves with smarter workers than the leader himself. If innovation is a necessity then these smart humans can use their exceptional skills to try new approaches which will keep the company competitive and at the forefront of current practices. The insecure micromanager surrounds himself with workers just like him with limited skill sets which prevent them from contributing much to innovation.

Mentor potential new leaders during relatively long waiting durations for mundane tasks. Using your relatively long periods of inactive free time to mentor young workers is time well spent. Mentor your current workers with leadership potential and hire some workers who will become future leaders. Shaping and molding future company leaders is vital to the overall success of a company in the long duration.

 

Don’t dwell in the past telling new team workers how great your old team was. They will begin to wonder why you chose to leave if it was such a great experience. Motivate new team workers to work towards future goals without emphasizing your past successes too much.

Have a clear vision of the future, communicate it to your workers, and motivate them to work towards or achieve that vision with your guidance. Knowing WHAT workers are working for in unison is a great motivator.

Competent leaders with good character, emotional intelligence, and integrity are knowledgeable, trusted, admired, and respected and don’t have to force compliance to the rules with threats, intimidation, humiliation, and demands or don’t have to micromanage the workforce to get things done properly.

Confident leaders lead through values, vision, and vulnerability and arrogant leaders often lead with fear, threats, blame, and ego. Emotional intelligence evolves gradually with time based primarily on selfawareness and knowing whether you are motivating workers primarily with positive approaches or resorting to too many negative tyrannical or bossy techniques.

Look like a leader with businesslike sharp posture, clothing, and looks and not an overly casual or disheveled laid back posture and looks.

Practicing curiosity which is basically asking relevant questions and getting truthful answers stimulates learning, collaboration, and potential innovation which is becoming more vital in a rapidly changing business environment. Not being curious favors a judgmental, blaming, telling, and shaming approach to leadership which frustrates workers, creates conflict, and impedes collaboration, innovation, and understanding.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 422!!!

FotorCreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 401!!!

FotorCreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 189!!!

FotorCreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3000 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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THE TRUTH ABOUT CONCERN+

Concern_worldwide_logo

Concern: v. to be attracted to a subset(s) caused by sensed (caring and/or interesteven) and/or (importance and/or empathy) and/or (suffering of and/or affectation) for samer subset(s)

You may show concern because you care about something, are interested in something, sense something is important, sense empathy for something, sensed suffering of, or have an affectation for something and are basically faking concern.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 2500 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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MANY WAYS TO IMPROVE COMMUNICATION EFFICIENCY IN AN ORGANIZATION!!!

What-is-effective-communication

Machine efficiency and communication efficiency for workers is not just a question of saving time with short, sweet, and to the point conversations. Worker satisfaction and good performance is also a function of how well they get along with other team members and the team leader if it is a team effort. Developing good interactions between team members and leaders takes time and much empathetic friendly interactions as part of the actual work being done. Developing empathetic friendly relationships takes time and it really means short duration time inefficiency to get long duration relationship efficiency in the entire organization.

Develop a goal(s) or mission statement which the organization has which motivates workers to promote the mission because it means that it is a worthwhile value based cause which will maintain a desirable good reputation for the organization.

“Best products and/or services and excellent customer care which leads to satisfied repeat customers” is one example of a mission statement which few organizations can actually fulfill realistically.

“Sustainable products and/or services and great customer care” is another mission statement for innovative companies which may not have the best products on the market yet.

Visionary statements for the organization are also useful which summarize the general goal(s). Here are a few examples for nonprofit organizations:

The Nature Conservancy: Our vision is to leave a sustainable world for future generations.

Ducks Unlimited is wetlands sufficient to fill the skies with waterfowl today, tomorrow and forever.

WWF: We seek to save a planet, a world of life. Reconciling the needs of human beings and the needs of others that share the Earth…

San Diego Zoo: To become a world leader at connecting people to wildlife and conservation.

Get feedback on your vision from employees on a regular basis and ask employees to interact with customers to get feedback on how good the products and services are for them and whether they are helping to promote the vision.

Core values can be written down but you can also have many more written down for reviewing once in a while.

Bright Horizons Family Solutions states its core values as Honesty, Excellence, Accountability, Respect, and Teamwork.

Some of Zappos ten core values are more vague or open ended and are for example: embrace and drive change, pursue growth and learning, create fun and a little weirdness, and embrace and drive change.

Integrity, honesty, sincerity, dependability, competence, trustworthiness, friendliness, empathy, and satisfied happy customers should be the high priority values which should be promoted by an organization and they are basically unchangeable from year to year.

There may be leadership priorities which change from year to year dealing with expansion plans and new products and/or services but other than that your mission statement or statements and company values should not change from year to year but should be company standards to be followed on a yearly basis.

A perennial priority is how to increase the efficiency of the organization. This means evaluating the quality of the staff and products, trying to increase revenue, cutting costs, and increasing customer satisfaction. Without priority number one or increasing customer satisfaction no revenue will increase, cutting costs may demoralize the workforce, and there won’t be any money left over to improve the quality of the products and/or services being offered.

Technology is the way to go in cost cutting but if this means losing good interaction with the customer and turning it into an impersonal numbers game of big data or unreliable statistics then the company will fail in the long duration.

Establishing empathy with the workforce is time consuming and may seem inefficient unnecessary conversation. The truth is that a workforce will become more connected, cooperative, and motivated to do well if the leadership takes time out to know some personal goals and opinions of workers who will then feel more important in the organization and feel that their contributions really matter. Empathizing with the workforce minimizes the possibility that the workforce will be demoralized and makes them feel that they are more than just a replaceable cog in the organization.

As a leader of a meeting you should always keep these things in mind and act appropriately:

Assign responsibilities to workers which they can competently fulfill on their own or with the help of other staff members.

Focus intently on each conversation and actively participate if necessary with questions or by getting feedback.

Complimenting for work well done sometimes in the presence of others should dominate the occasional need to criticize in private for work not well done.

Acknowledge humans in a meeting, sometimes by name, so that they don’t feel left out.

Try to sense another’s good or bad emotions and react accordingly.

Say you’re sorry or apologize if it is your mistake.

Make improvement suggestions in private if possible since it is a form of sometimes embarrassing criticism.

Ask for action and try to keep ordering, commands, or demands for emergency situations only.

Be dependable and try to answer emails, phone calls, text messages within 24 hours.

Treat humans as partners and try not to ignore or talk down to them.

Negotiate with a win win attitude for both sides rather than a win only mindset for one side.

Offer active help sometimes in the form of suggestions or tools for workers at work and even outside of work which will improve their performance.

Monitor progress with guidelines rather than strict rules and controls, or don’t micromanage and destroy a necessary sense of autonomy.

Plan social time were workers can connect with each other and sometimes the leadership too.

Greet humans that you see first thing in the morning to avoid being rude.

Offer help or sympathy in times of illness or death of relatives.

Compliments show appreciation but it can also be done with affirmations, one on one quality time, giving help when needed, giving privileges and rewards, and rare pats on the back or appropriate physical gestures such as smiles and thumbs up.

Introduce humans with affirming statements which means adding something good about them other than just using name alone in the introduction.

Keep in touch with your workers by occasional surprise visits to them and find out how they are doing and if they have anything to complain about. Leaders isolated or stuck in an ivory tower leading an organization means inevitable communications breakdown which is bad for the company or organization in the long duration.

As a team leader don’t just focus on your star workers or performers but give others a chance to prove or show themselves to be competent workers too.

Tone of voice, especially the angry or unsatisfied kind and connecting first before delivering content is important or you risk placing workers in a defensive unreceptive mood.

When someone does something for you then a minimum thank you should always follow.

My colleague is always preferable to calling someone your employee or one of my people.

Seeking and sharing the ideas and opinions of others is vital in honest organization knowledge interactions and instead of confidential secrecy the source of the opinions and ideas should be acknowledged and not plagiarized or stolen:

Actively listen and sometimes rephrase the content in your own words to verify that you are not misunderstanding the communication.

Don’t interrupt a speaking human unless the speaking is becoming incoherent or is wandering off the topic being discussed.

Being brief, sweet, and to the point is preferable but there are some humans who need an expanded response with a real life example, an anecdote, or short story for clear understanding.

Sharing past experiences, especially relevant mistakes makes for more connected trusting relationships because humans empathize with others who share their imperfections with you and don’t assume or try to demonstrate an air of unrealistic infallible perfection.

A request for critical actions should be in writing as often as possible with a checklist of things to be done in the proper order if possible. Clarity is essential with critical things and nothing clarifies better than the written word which speaking alone can’t accomplish without misunderstandings developing largely because of bad listening or forgetfulness.

Before offering impulsive improvements on someone’s idea take some time to reflect or think about it, especially if you are not that certain that your improvement is really a better way of doing things with a proven historical track record.

Strong relationships often mean more frequent communications so be sure to stay in touch regularly with important humans in the organization.

Keep humans who should care informed about new developments that you become aware of so that important personnel are not kept in the dark too long.

Don’t ruin trusting honest relationships by attacking anyone who disagrees with you. Rather calmly ask for reasons why they disagree and whether they have a better alternative which will work. After hearing them out you can still disagree with their proposition(s) and thank them for their important input.

In a group or one on one, after sharing your vision or ideas and opinions and why you think they will work, ask for other ideas and/or opinions from others and encourage contributions or feedback from volunteering members. Team effort means that each member should have the courage to speak up and be acknowledged for their input if they chose to do so, especially if it is different and hopefully better than what the team leader or any member plans to do. Some team members will respond better one on one with their ideas and opinions so provide that luxury as necessary.

Open ended question and answer periods can be encouraged and some time can be set aside after the mass meetings for a question and answer period or it can be done in private through emails or social media.

Post event feedback can also be done to find out or analyze what went well, what went wrong, and how a future event can be improved upon.

Task and relationship excellence are two distinct areas of expertise. Managers and team leaders need to have good emotional intelligence or relationship excellence and most employees or organizational members must focus primarily on task excellence and relationships may not play a dominant role in their working lives with the organization. For managers and team leaders the following are important communication skills:

Social skills are good for networking and developing casual acquaintances with occasional potential of becoming future strong relationships. Relationships are more important in an organization because it means a closer connection with key members of the organization who should be loyal members interested in promoting the success of organizational goals and should as much as possible be members whom you can rely upon in times of need and personal indecisiveness. More intimate joys and pain can be shared with good relationships and the deeper connections make for the achievement of sustainable superior performance.

Commitment, courage, and perseverance are necessary in developing and maintaining deep relationships because frankly not everyone is as interested in relationship excellence as you might personally be. Some humans just naturally have a tendency to spurn your efforts at connecting at a deeper level and rejection is not something which most humans can live through without feeling frustrated, disappointed, and wanting to abandon further contact.

According to one study connection seems to start to break down if membership exceeds about 150 humans so keep this in mind when designing organizational structures which you hope will operate at optimum connective efficiency. Just as in personal relationships fewer friends means more intimacy and many friends usually translates into many acquaintances and not many true friends. Prioritize the time you spend with key members of the organization depending on their relative importance to the organization and their relative importance to you personally also.

A group directory guide can be helpful which lists the responsibilities, strengths, expertise, and interests outside the group. This way you can quickly review a group member which you may be contacting in the immediate future and not have to start from scratch getting acquainted with them and wasting valuable mutual time.

Chronic stress is a relationship disconnector so learn to manage yours better if you feel you have it.

Not everyone in an organization needs to be a servant leader or one who coordinates task excellence, facilitates connections between members, and is a model and mentor for others in character strengths and virtues. In general the more such leadership members an organization has the more prosperous or better off it should be.

Hire for competence and character and conduct interviews with serious candidates with more than one interviewer present and hopefully someone who will have direct authority over them or perhaps even a key fellow employee with whom they will be working. What work did you like the best, what kind of work did you excel in, what kind of work didn’t you like, what kind of work were you most proud of, and what are your long duration goals are just some of the character probing questions which should be asked along with competence determining questions.

Provide the tools and training necessary for success on the job and if this sounds like an apprenticeship program then that is a close analogy. Of course hiring someone with all the tools and training necessary is the best policy and is a reason why experience is so important but even the best candidates will still need some on the job tools and training after joining a new organization or business.

Just compensation should be provided and details discussed prior to hiring and repeated without major changes after the hiring is complete and at any time after the hiring.

Knowing your team’s strengths and vulnerabilities is important and standardized personality and/or competence tests can be given or independent private companies can be hired which make the important evaluations for you.

What is of major importance is listing desirable personality characteristics and prioritizing them in order of importance for the specific members of a business or organization which you are leading. If an organization can’t prioritize personality characteristics then much time will be wasted on trying to inspire or change characteristics which minimally impact organizational cohesion.  

For example, empathy, good listening and polite interruption skills are very important for charitable or welfare worker characteristics but not that important for skilled technological experts working in relative seclusion from other employees. A shitty social personality may actually not be a major drawback for a technical expert to whom relationship excellence is not that important a factor in determining job performance excellence.

Finally the special layout or floor design of an organization can have considerable effect on promoting cohesion within an organization. Randomly isolating all members in prison like cubicles is not promoting cohesive social or relationship interaction.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 2100 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

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7 BEHAVIORS WHICH CAN AND SHOULD END A DEVELOPING RELATIONSHIP!!!

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You’re unfaithful:

Adultery frequently ends a marriage and cheating on someone before marriage will frequently destroy a developing relationship too.

You’re a liar:

Lying will end most developing relationships unless someone is incredibly desperate for a relationship on almost any terms.

You’re financially irresponsible:

If you are in great debt and a lavish spender then you may fool some into thinking you are overly generous but anyone interested in a long duration relationship will not like this financial irresponsibility.

You’re abusive:

Coming from an abusive family you may find physical abuse and verbal abuse in the form of harsh criticism and unreasonable demands normal but it is definitely something which will destroy most normally developing relationships.

You can’t empathize:

If you can’t empathize with your partner then chances are great that you will never apologize when you’re wrong or when you hurt feelings. You will probably be rudely demanding and selfish in most of the things you do and basically intolerable.

You are too demanding:

You are clingy and not willing to give the other person some time off from you. Acting like the world revolves around you and always demanding to be the center of attention will suffocate a two way relationship.

You have compulsive addictions:

You have bad drug, alcohol, gambling, or shopping addictions which are priority number one in your life. Few happy long duration relationships can tolerate compulsive addictions which are not eliminated or cured and you are foolish if you feel that you can tolerate them and still find happiness in the relationship.

 

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1100 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

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THE TRUTH ABOUT COMPASSION

Words-are-Energy-Compassion

Compassion: n. sympathy for a lifeform(s) and wanting to and helping in some way

You can empathize with someone’s misfortune and be sympathetic but if you are compassionate then you want and do try to help in some manner.

A sympathy card or spending some time together talking about the misfortune is minimally doing something about it. Your compassion may extend further and you may offer some financial aid or replace a lost item. Offering advice which will prevent future misfortune is also a sign of compassion.

Helping the poor is a sign of compassion and it can be done financially or with personal volunteer work which should be designed to help them get back into the workforce or prevent starvation.

The one area that we must truly show compassion is towards wilderness animals and plants. Stop stealing their real estate and contribute to conservation causes which will hopefully ensure their survival. You may not understand that destruction of wilderness means the destruction of human civilization in the long duration!!!!!!

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, approximately 700 so far, and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

Enjoy!!!!!!

THE TRUTH ABOUT COMMUNICATION

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In good communications you should be a good listener first and really pay attention to what someone is saying and feeling. Humans will feel respected if you listen to them and don’t rudely interrupt or cut them off. After listening carefully you can follow up with some questions to probe more deeply what the human is trying to say or convey and how they feel about the issue.  

Try to empathize with whom you are talking to. You will better understand where they are coming from and how they feel about an issue. You can then answer in a competent and hopefully concise way and maintain a flowing conversation giving emotional support if necessary or give advice which you may feel is useful.

The success of many conversations not only depends on how smart you are or your IQ but on your EQ or emotional quotient or emotional smarts. Humans generally make impulsive decisions based on their feelings about an issue and not so much the logical consequences or the facts. Understanding that emotions are frequently more important in a conversation and must be dealt with first is a fundamental fact of successful human communication, especially if you are in a leadership position and must also get emotional support for your decisions.

You should keep arguments to a minimum in a good conversation and unless your beliefs are almost identical then you should leave hot topics like politics, religion, and sports alone and discuss them rarely if at all. In any conversation you will find differing opinions and beliefs and sometimes the smartest thing to do is to accept differing opinions and beliefs and not try to change them unless they will impact you in a very bad way.

Gossiping or spreading unproven bad facts about a human is not a very good thing to do and if you find that whom you are talking to is a gossiper then you should keep at a healthy distance from them because they may spread an untrue rumor about you in the foreseeable future which may hurt your reputation.

If a conversation is becoming repetitive or boring switch topics and if that doesn’t work then cut the conversation off for another time and proceed to do something more constructive.

Conversation should not waste your time and if you find that it seems to have no useful purpose or that it is mostly about random unimportant things then don’t waste your time and cut it short.

Communication is different whether you are talking to your children, spouse, relatives, friend, boss, employee, or casual acquaintance.

With your children you are probably more of an authority figure or the boss who knows what is frequently good for them. You expect them to behave in a certain way or you take away their privileges or punish them in some way if they misbehave.

With your spouse you may be very laid back or casual and feel free discussing almost any topic which enters your head. You should have an honest, sincere, and reliable or trustworthy relationship so that you can share some secrets or personal feelings which would cause you trouble if the secrets or opinions became public knowledge.

Not only should your spouse be someone whom you trust with sensitive information but they are someone with whom you can share your innermost feelings and know that they will understand you and give you moral or emotional support if necessary. Realize that many times your female spouse may be looking mostly for emotional support or empathy and not really want advice on how to solve her problems.

Communicating with a close friend is almost like a marriage where you basically trust one another with sensitive information and you may discuss some male or female issues or topics which you may not even share that intimately with your spouse. Some close friends can even be a source of good marital advice if both of you are in generally happy marital relationships.

Business conversations or etiquette is a complex specialty but even here listening intently with empathy and answering in short and concise ways is a good general rule of thumb to follow.

On a first date you may not want to reveal a serious health problem or a dysfunctional family but if you want a serious honest, sincere, and reliable or trustworthy relationship to develop then you will eventually have to reveal your bad circumstances and it is better to do so before marriage than after it.

Social media and texting is rapidly changing how we communicate with each other and is taking much of the emotion out and permitting more exclusive brief communications. Some may feel that it is dehumanizing conversation. I feel that it is making communication more rational and concise and will benefit almost everyone in the long duration.

Finally most women like to talk more than men so if you find out that a woman is talking much more than you then don’t stress about it but accept it as a common natural cultural phenomenon.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, approximately 600 so far, and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

Enjoy!!!!!!

THE TRUTH ABOUT EMPATHY

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Empathy: n. sharing a sensation(s) with concern and understanding for the bad and/or good circumstance(s) and/or event(s) with another and sometimes offering helpful advice and/or caring

Empathy is a learned skill which needs concern and an understanding of another’s emotional reaction to a bad and/or good circumstance and/or event.

Empathizing with a good circumstance(s) and/or event(s) is rather easy because it means sharing in the happiness or joy of the moment and words such as “great” and “I love that” may be all that is needed to show that you too are happy that something good happened to a fellow human.

You frequently need to detect disappointment, fear, sorrow, shame, revulsion, mental pain, and many more bad emotions which a human may have based on words spoken, facial expressions, and a history of similar reactions under similar bad circumstances and/or events.

“Putting yourself in another’s shoes” is a way of vaguely describing what empathy means.

Once you accurately identify the emotion and circumstances of another human which may require a few questions with answers, you can then proceed to calm and reassure the human or join in the celebration to show that you know how they feel and that you would have a similar emotional reaction to the circumstance(s) and/or event(s).

“I feel your pain” is another way of vaguely describing what empathy sometimes means for a bad circumstance(s) and/or event(s).

Sometimes showing empathy or giving emotional support is enough and it is all that is needed but sometimes a suggestion as to what to do differently the next time to avoid the emotional turmoil in the first place can be helpful advice.

 

CONCLUSION:

Empathy basically means detecting and sharing good and/or bad emotions and sometimes offering helpful suggestions which will avoid bad emotions in the future or which will create more good emotions in the future. Not only helpful advice can be given but actual physical caring behavior can coexist with the emotional empathy.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

Enjoy!!!!!!

WHAT TO TRY TO BE AND NOT TRY TO BE!!!

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“There is an incomplete philosophical struggle and it is between two rather distinct extreme mindsets. One is frequently but not always bad – it is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, lust, resentment, inferiority, foundationless pride, superiority, and inflated ego or extreme selfishness. “The other is frequently but not always good – it is faithfulness, joy, peace, caring, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, controlled generosity, compromise, and compassion. The same struggle is sometimes going on inside you – and inside every other caring human, too.”

 

Try not to be envious, resentful, or jealous but try to be empathetic and benevolent instead

Instead of being unhappy and resentful of another’s possessions and characteristics and luck and circumstances, try to share in the feeling of accomplishment which another human is experiencing and feel that their good achievements, abilities, and circumstances are to be praised and not put down or criticized.

Try not to be cruel and mean but try to be kind or caring and sympathetic instead

Instead of willfully causing suffering and mental displeasure in a human and getting pleasure doing so try to be caring and sympathetic and share in the bad feelings and emotions caused by mistakes or bad circumstances which exist in a human’s life. You can be a strict and demanding disciplinarian or boss but try not to do it in a cruel and mean way.

Try not to be too greedy, selfish, with unfounded pride and too much superiority and arrogance but try to be with some generosity, caring behavior, and an adequate humility.

Try not to wallow in regret, pessimism, self-pity, sorrow, depression, hopelessness, guilt, and inferiority but try to be optimistically hopeful, happy, and develop as much selfconfidence and selfmotivation as possible by gradually changing more and more of your bad habits into good ones.

Above all try to be honest, sincere, truthful, and reliable and the bonds of your relationships with others will grow stronger and not weaker and you will be admired and respected by most close humans in your life.

Finally teach your offspring if you decide to have any this moral code- except in emergency situations-don’t destroy biodiversity, don’t lie, don’t be inefficient, don’t steal, don’t commit adultery if married, and don’t murder!!!!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE.

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HOW SOME ANIMALS SHOW HUMAN EMOTION

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Tigers take revenge, rats show empathy, elephants mourn their dead, fruit flies like to drink away sexual rejection, and pigeons are superstitious.

The details appear in this article link to cracked.com.

http://www.cracked.com/article_20141_5-mind-blowing-ways-animals-display-human-emotions.html

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