There are very many more detailed keys to a lasting relationship than just 7. Despite all our efforts to make a relationship work there are some crises in life which can derail what may have seemed like a lifetime relationship no matter how much we may try to avoid a termination of the relationship. These basic 7 keys will help to optimize a long duration relationship and are good starting points when further researching the details on how to make a relationship last.
A similar moral background with integrity and similar views on severe addictions,
Good communication, especially when problem solving with minimal angry confrontations,
Sharing responsibilities in and around the house, especially for working couples
Enjoying sharing mutual experiences with family and friends,
Mutual encouragement and support to pursue mutual and individual goals,
Ongoing research into new interests which are then shared.
Almost all relationships will crash and burn if there is lying, deceitfulness, promiscuity, failure to fulfill promises, and criminal immorality. That is why it is important that both of you have similar moral viewpoints and are very honest with each other so that mutual trust and respect can flourish in the long duration. What this also implies is that you are free of traditional vices or severe addictions to alcohol, drugs, food, gambling, promiscuity, profligate spending, etc.
Failure to communicate at all or doing so very badly will terminate most relationships even if they initially seemed to be on the right track. Being a poor listener and having angry confrontations when problems have to be solved is sure to lead to a breakup sooner or later or a very miserable existence as long as this dysfunctional condition continues.
Next to infidelity, financial irresponsibility is the second greatest cause for a relationship breakup, especially in a marriage. If you are a compulsive spender or can’t control your urge to shop and buy then this will be the wrecking ball which will end a marriage. Sticking to a budget is the only possible way of salvaging a financially irresponsible relationship.
For working couples sharing in the responsibilities in and around the house and sharing offspring rearing responsibilities is important or one will feel overburdened or overwhelmed with a lopsided workload. Relatively few modern day couples can make a go of it on only one paycheck so sharing the responsibility of caring for offspring, cleaning house, doing grocery and other shopping is very important or one will be suffering from premature burnout.
Whether you are sharing enjoyable experiences with friends or family this act of sharing has a bonding effect on the participants. If you are single then bonding with friends is more important but if married your priority should be bonding with family first and then friends. Yes, some feel it is more important to bond with humans on the job than with family. This is a long duration threat to a family relationship and many regret belatedly that they didn’t spend more time with family despite a relatively successful career which may have always been priority number one.
When things are going bad for us the one thing which we all crave is empathy and encouragement from our significant other that things will eventually get better or work themselves out. Encouragement is also essential to motivate one in mutual goals and also in some personal individual goals which one may want to achieve. Let’s support each other in our mutual goals and individual interests or goals also sums up what active encouragement really means. Giving support is not only emotional but has a monetary and effort support component too.
A relationship can lead to boredom and apathy if both are pretty much doing the same thing day in and day out and both seem to be stagnating. The antidote to this undesirable circumstance is to research and develop new interests along the way so that the relationship is ever changing and growing in complexity. Some younger and many retired couples find that after the offspring are raised they really don’t have very much interesting things to do individually or mutually and some decide to part ways in search of a more exciting or interesting life.
You have to work on a lasting relationship and that means actively nurturing and trying to protect it or caring about the relationship in an ongoing way. Stop spending your time, energy, effort, and money on a relationship and it will often rapidly fade and become a thing of the past.
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