Honesty, sincerity, dependability, and loyalty is what creates trust in a relationship. Trust is the relationship glue and lying destroys a relationship and makes it a very bad one or practically no useful relationship at all.
Even white lies are unnecessary and there are tactful alternatives which maintain your honesty and continue a solid trusting relationship. Instead of lying about a dress to your spouse say it is OK but it is not your favorite color, color combination, style, pattern, size, length or is too sexy or too frilly.
Don’t lie and you won’t have to remember the lies that you told which get you into trouble sooner or latter.
Trying to improve him or her:
Adult personalities rarely change radically and what you see is frequently what you get and will get.
If you hate too many of a human’s characteristics then try to avoid them or try not to get too involved in the first place. Live and let live but keep your close relationships with human’s that you trust and like and don’t waste your time with what you consider bad, especially immoral humans.
An abusive, emotionally unstable, and lying human will not be rehabilitated no matter how hard you try so be realistic and avoid them.
Complaining or nagging too much:
There is plenty in this world to complain about but if you can’t change or control the situation or the human then avoid them as much as possible or stop complaining.
Change the situation for the better if you can but stop complaining or nagging about things which will probably never change and are outside of your ability to change for the better.
If you are nagging your significant other too much then you should consider replacing him or her with someone you won’t have to nag so much.
Lying to yourself:
Stop thinking that you should always be the center of attention, that you are never wrong and don’t need to apologize for anything, that everyone that you meet should admire and respect you, and that everyone should agree with your beliefs and opinions.
Excessive pride or an over inflated ego ignores the fact that most of us are imperfect humans with flaws and that we sometimes need the help of others to compensate for our weaknesses which we sometimes are unaware of.
Knowing yourself intimately as objectively as possible is the first step to being truthful about yourself and your abilities. Don’t be delusional and you won’t be handicapped with an unrealistic judgment of your abilities and potential.
Criticizing too much and inappropriately:
Harsh criticism, put downs, name calling, and ridicule feels like a personal attack, puts humans in a defensive mode, and they will do their best to ignore the criticism or defend their actions beyond reason.
Make tactful helpful suggestions on how a human should behave or solve a problem or mistake and there will be less resistance and potentially more cooperation and effective future actions.
Surrounding yourself with negative humans:
Surrounding yourself with bad, especially immoral humans is a terrible idea.
Interacting too much with a complaining, blaming, procrastinating, pessimistic, jealous, resentful, fearful, depressed, and abusive human is also bad and is what is commonly called a negative human with some or many of the listed bad characteristics.
Trying to associate more with optimistic humans is the solution to this bad problem.
Being secretive instead of telling humans what is bothering you:
Humans can rarely read your mind and good honest, sincere, trustworthy communications depend on full disclosure of what is bothering you so that humans can react appropriately without unnecessary misunderstandings.
Being secretive with humans you don’t know well may save you from embarrassment sometimes but if you want to maintain close relationships with a human then secrecy is not advisable because humans get upset if they feel you are trying to hide something important from them.
Arrogant bragging or trying too much to impress others with your wealth and/or accomplishments:
Almost no one likes a braggart and if you go around too much trying to impress humans with your greatness then they will think less of you and not give you the admiration and respect which you are hoping for.
Smart humans know that the most progress is made with the help of other humans and a friendly attitude will frequently attract new useful humans and keep the friendships which you have already made.
A friendly attitude towards strangers or a nice communication with them is useful to find out if they may make good potential new friends or acquaintances.
It is even wise to be polite to assholes who frequently like to abuse humans with their bad behavior and sometimes even get satisfaction from emotionally upsetting other humans.
Worrying and fearing too much:
Some worry and fear is natural and frequently motivates us to behave in certain ways or to change the way we react to circumstances.
Too much worry about past and future failures and a fear that the worst will happen can stress us out emotionally beyond realistic necessity.
The courage to get up from failure and try again and again, perhaps a different way, is what makes improvement in our lives possible and is the antidote to too much worrying and fear.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1200 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
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