Tag Archives: forgiveness

UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 729!!!

FotorCreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3700 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

THE TRUTH ABOUT MERCY

Kanye-West-Mercy

Mercy: n. being (tolerant and/or compassionate) and/or forgiving when punishment is earned and frequently towards a minor’s misbehavior(s)

When offspring deserve punishment being merciful sometimes means no punishment at all or punishing less severely than expected or justified. It is smart to ask offspring to promise not to do the misdeed again before showing mercy and not punishing.

Fining someone less than the specified maximum fine can also be considered to be a merciful act and some even feel that mercy is punishing a criminal less than what the maximum punishment should be.

In the catholic religion confessing your wrongdoing frequently results in merciful forgiveness of your transgressions and you are not punished for them.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 800 so far, and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSErays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

THE TRUTH ABOUT FORGIVENESS

Forgiveness1

Forgiveness: n. not punishing someone for reaching the wrong goal(s) and/or doing a bad behavior(s) and saying to the offender “I forgive you”

There is basically complete forgiveness and conditional forgiveness. When you are wrongly criticized, your feelings are hurt, or someone injures you in some way there is a tendency to want to punish that human for the offense.

If the injury was intentional then forgiveness is harder to do but if you suspect that the injury was unintentional then forgiveness is a realistic option since we all make mistakes sometimes and offend humans without really wanting to.

If someone is intentionally trying to ruin your reputation or trying to get you fired from a job then forgiveness may not be a viable option because they are trying to ruin your social status.

Bad humans exist in society in relative abundance and if you can’t avoid them or ignore them then challenging them head on and fighting for justice may be the only realistic way of dealing with a situation. If someone acts like your enemy and tries to destroy you socially then you should fight back to the best of your ability and put up a good fight even though the odds may be against you winning the battle.

In marital life your spouse is not your enemy or at least shouldn’t be so forgiving for bad behavior is frequently necessary to avoid the burden of vengeful hateful feelings festering in your mind. Moral transgressions such as adultery may be forgiven maybe once or twice but it should be conditional forgiveness and you should demand a sincere promise to not be adulterous again. If you don’t get a sincere promise to not be adulterous again then threatening with a divorce and actually going through with it is a realistic option.

Lying is also a moral transgression which should not be tolerated in marriage or with close friendships because sooner rather than later a trusting relationship will break down and the relationship will no longer be one worth saving. Once again conditional forgiveness is necessary where you insist that lying again won’t be tolerated.

How many times can your partner in a relationship lie to you with forgiveness from you? Life is not mathematics so there is no rule of thumb with which to determine how many times you can forgive lying. It probably depends much on what the lying is about. If your relationship is lying about important things in your life then chances are you will not be able to maintain a trusting relationship for very long.

Forgiving offspring for bad behavior is necessary but you should insist on a sincere apology from the offspring. In the case of a moral transgression such as lying or stealing conditional forgiveness is necessary with a sincere promise that it will not happen again.

Coupled with the conditional forgiveness should be a threat of severe punishment or withdrawal of important privileges for a long duration if the moral transgression happens again because lying and stealing should not be tolerated in trusting family relationships.

Conditional forgiveness can be demanded by asking the offender to compensate for the wrong done. For adults the compensation may be money and for offspring it may be requesting that they do household chores for a week or two as a form of punishment for the offense.

There should be unpleasant consequences for important transgressions coupled with conditional forgiveness but for the minor offenses in life a sincere apology is sufficient to get complete and unconditional forgiveness. There are adults who will not apologize under any circumstances and many of them can also be unconditionally forgiven.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 800 so far, and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

THE TRUTH ABOUT FORGIVENESS

forgiveness

Forgive: v. to not punish someone for reaching the wrong goal(s) and/or doing a bad behavior(s) and saying to the offender “I forgive you”

Unconditionally forgive an immoral or very bad human and they will continue with their immoral and very bad behavior and you will become the unhappy miserable victim over and over again.

With strangers and casual acquaintances the general principle is fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. Don’t become a sucker for false promises no matter how good they may sound because if you have been fooled once the offender will want to do it again and fool you more than once for his or her benefit.

On the job, being late too frequently, lying to the boss about something very important, or stealing from the business are all good enough reasons not to forgive and fire you for your immorality. If you catch a coworker seriously lying about another worker or stealing from the business then it is your moral responsibility to tell the boss who will then take appropriate actions because developing and maintaining a trusting relationship in a business is priority number one.

Adulterous behavior without real remorse, without feeling guilty, and without sincerely promising never to do it again is also a behavior which should not be forgiven, especially if it occurs more than once. Intentional lies without remorse, feeling guilty, and promising not to do it again is also behavior which will ruin a trusting relationship sooner or later and if you are not married yet, then don’t marry a liar under any circumstances. Unfortunately adultery and lying are two immoralities under which a healthy and happy relationship is not possible and the more times that you forgive the worse the dysfunctional relationship becomes.

With offspring who are learning to behave properly you will be doing a lot of forgiving but keep in mind that important misbehaviors such as stealing, lying, and dangerous physical aggression should be quickly addressed with guaranteed punishment which is the removal of important privileges or even spanking to stop the bad behavior and not let it become a bad habit which will devastate the parent offspring relationship in the long duration. With offspring who do a moral transgression the first time there should be a strong conditional forgiveness offered. Make a sincere threat to the offspring. Do it a second time and an important privilege will be removed or I will spank you so it hurts and then follow through with the threat. If you make threatening promises and don’t follow through with the punishment then your offspring will just feel that you are an overblown windbag, will ignore you, and your role as an authority figure will disappear to no one’s benefit.

You can wallow in revenge and bitter resentment for a long time if you don’t forgive conditionally or unconditionally. If forgiveness is not working in your favor then the best policy is to break off the relationship and move on to a better one. You have the power to forgive and not forgive and if you are wallowing in revenge and resentment and it is making you terribly unhappy then it is your fault that you are not doing anything successful about it. Marriage and close friendships are hard to abandon but abandonment should be seriously considered if it is making your life and your offspring’s life miserable with too much immorality going on.

CONCLUSION:

Forgiveness is not divine if it is done unconditionally for immoral behavior such as intentional lies, adultery, and stealing. As a responsible adult you should not tolerate immoral behavior in the family or with close friends. It is also your responsibility to not get involved in dysfunctional immoral relationships with other adults. If you do let immorality slide in your relationships, it will just bring you much unnecessary misery and unhappiness in your life!!!!!!

If you liked this evergreen blog read more of them and read one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE, which is rays of truth in a world filled with myths and deceptions.

Enjoy!!!!!!

WHEN TO FORGIVE CONDITIONALLY OR UNCONDITIONALLY

gods-love-forgiveness-465x280

In real life humans behave immorally and badly and wrongly and we are tempted to react and do react to most of these human flaws.

Some recent studies have found and claim that the average American almost lies about something every day. If this is really true then the immorality of lying should be taught in secular elementary school and it is a primary reason for the instability in relationships in society. Unintentionally lie and you can be forgiven but if it is an intentional lie it should not be permitted to continue, especially if it is your own offspring.

Honesty or telling the truth is the human bond which keeps relationships strong and enduring and frequently not telling the truth will cause distrust in a relationship and doom it in the long duration. If you can no longer believe your offspring because they have become habitual liars your control over their behavior will be minimal and your life with them will be constantly one of anger and frustration and fear and helplessness and shame which will inevitably lead to separation and living independent lives from your offspring when they reach adulthood.

In early childhood you can remove privileges for lying and even use the threat of physical spanking for telling a future lie. Follow through with the threat if another intentional lie is discovered in an offspring. Stop the immorality in early childhood and you will be rewarded with largely probable good relationships with your offspring for a lifetime. Fail to stop the immorality in young offspring and your life with them will become an uncontrollable nightmare.

If the behavior is bad enough and has not become habitual yet, you can forgive your offspring with the condition that they don’t do the behavior again. You can follow this up with a serious threat of punishment or the revocation of privileges if the behavior continues. “I will forgive you if it doesn’t exist again” is a conditional forgiveness for a very bad and unacceptable behavior.

At home your offspring will make many mistakes learning new knowledge and skills and behaviors and you will frequently have to forgive unconditionally for the mistake or minimally bad behavior.

When married your spouse will also make many behavioral mistakes and mistakes in communicating facts and opinions and will be guilty of excessive emotional displays and you will have to forgive unconditionally because trying to remember all the bad incidents, especially personal criticisms, will not give you peace of mind and you will wallow in misery sensing anger, resentment, and revenge which have little place in a harmonious marriage.

In business if you find that one of your workers is lying about other workers or lying about his or her work or lying about his past and present then you should fire them as soon as possible and not forgive them if they are in a position of authority. A few lies about unimportant themes may not be enough reason to fire a low ranking human and the immoral flaw can be ignored to some extent but if you find a habitual tendency to lie about anything the probability is that he or she will eventually start to lie about important things in life or business too. There is even a large probability that they will steal from you in the future.

We all make mistakes unintentionally at work and interacting with humans. Some humans make more mistakes than others and you can only go so far in tolerating the behavior. On the job hiring someone who makes fewer mistakes may be more costly and you may out of necessity choose to stay with your mistake prone worker. For important costly mistakes the absence of present forgiveness is acceptable and you have every right to fire them. If the mistake is tolerable but still great enough to need immediate attention, getting a promise that it will not happen again is required. This is conditional forgiveness and a threat of firing can at that point be justifiably made so it doesn’t happen again.

In determining whether to forgive conditionally or unconditionally it is a skill which many humans don’t have. It all depends on the type of behavior and its severity and frequency but it also depends on who has to be forgiven, especially at what age and whether they are a close human or a stranger. You frequently have no control over a stranger and forgiveness or an absence of it will not affect him or her in any way. You have the option of saying nothing at all or saying that what the bad behaving stranger did was not very nice or unacceptable.

If it is an immoral behavior like stealing or public lying or adultery society frequently punishes this with fines and/or imprisonment and/or ostracism and frequently does not forgive immorality.

Commit adultery and you will be frequently punished with divorce and a loss of personal wealth and many in society will sense that you are less reputable or worthy as a human. Future women aware of your adultery will frequently try to avoid relationships with you because they intuitively feel that if you cheated once you will probably do it again at some point in the future.

Steal and you will be imprisoned and/or asked to compensate the victim(s) for the crime and your reputation will suffer. You may eventually be forgiven by some humans but your criminal record will follow you for a lifetime and reduce your ability to get a responsible good paying job.

Publicly lie and you can be sued for libel and be forced to pay a fine. Your personal life may not suffer but publicaly your bad reputation will follow you as long as people remember your immoral flaw. You will have a hard time getting or remaining in public office if you are a politician and hope to get future votes from the opposition party. Privately you can be forgiven by your friends but publicaly it will frequently take a very long time to get your good public reputation back. Many people are forgiven for lying in private but rarely in public if not followed up speedily with a sincere public apology

If you like this evergreen blog read more of them and read one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE.

Enjoy!!!!!!