Jealousy: n. envying with angry resentment
Jealousy can ruin a career, ruin relationships, and most important of all make you lead a miserable unhappy life filled with anger, hatred, resentment, pessimism, and feelings of incompetence and worthlessness.
When someone gets promoted to a position which you felt you deserved then you may justifiably feel hurt and start feeling jealous of their achievement. You may not be able to hide your jealousy if it is intense and you may intentionally or unintentionally start saying nasty things about the promoted human which will make you look bad in front of your boss or your coworkers.
You may secretly have pent up anger, an urge to get revenge, or feel great resentment for the perceived wrong and may start doing some very bad things yourself. You may begin spreading bad gossip which will ruin your good reputation and kill any further chances for your promotion in the future and it will ruin your relationships with coworkers too who will no longer trust you.
If you have feelings of inadequacy in looks or achievement and don’t have a trusting or honest and sincere relationship with your significant other then you may feel jealous if a member of the opposite sex flirts or shows an interest in them. If your significant other does not have a history of promiscuous behavior or adultery and your jealousy continues after marriage then it can lead to divorce with too much distrust and attempts to monitor his or her every move out of jealousy.
If you are very jealous of your significant other before marriage then it will get even worse after marriage with the possibility of offspring who will suffer after the almost inevitable divorce. Before marriage check out your significant other’s family and closest friends to see if there will be any rational reason for being jealous and for fearing possible adultery. If the family is not adulterous and the friends are not promiscuous and all single then you should have nothing to be seriously jealous about before or after marriage.
Sometimes merely talking about your jealous feelings with your significant other may reassure you that there is nothing to be jealous about and you may get reassurances that your jealous feelings are unfounded. It is of course possible that your jealous feelings will be reinforced by a significant other who is insensitive, non-empathetic, or proud of his or her superior position in the relationship with very attractive looks and high achievement compared to your lack of similar characteristics. If your significant other makes you feel inferior then your grounds for jealousy are accurate and you should seriously consider another relationship and move on.
Being jealous of an exciting affluent lifestyle may turn you into a profligate spender trying to keep up with a lifestyle which you can’t afford and will eventually lead to your own financial ruin and even divorce if you are married.
The antidote to jealousy may need competent therapy or learning to praise rather than envy and learning to approve of another’s success, looks, and basically good moral character and not put another down for it.
If you can’t learn to be honest, sincere, and dependable with others and expect the same behavior in return from all your closest relationships then you will never cure your jealousy and you will probably be stuck in a miserable doubting lonely existence for the rest of your life.
Trust and dependability is the glue which keeps relationships healthy and lasting and jealousy is one of the greatest destroyers of a trusting relationship. Be grateful for what you have, overcome your feelings of inadequacy as much as possible, and admire others for their good looks and good achievements and jealousy should no longer have a bad stranglehold on your life and relationships.
Overcoming feelings of inadequacy is hard but one way to overcome them is to associate with other humans who have similar feelings of inadequacy which stem from not being so attractive or not being very successful in life. If you lower your standards of what you are looking for in relationships but still demand a high standard of moral behavior then you will be much happier and not jealously stressed out about your feelings of slight inferiority.
If you are a morally sound individual then you should feel equal in worth to most other good humans on the face of this earth because you are fundamentally a good human personality wise. You may not have great wealth and great looks but you will have a great wealth of character and be respected and admired for it by others.
Life is not fair and just since it rewards some with great looks and great ability which the common human does not have but that is no reason why you should live a life of desperation poisoned by jealousy at every turn. Be morally good and try to surround yourself with morally good humans and you can live a happy optimistic life free of jealousy.
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