Tag Archives: hurt feelings

UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1259!!!

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THE TRUTH ABOUT QUARREL+

photodune-3551254-children-quarrel-xs

Quarrel: v. to argue angrily and/or disagreeably and it is frequently between humans who have a good relationship and the conflict is frequently resolved and/or ended without continuing resentment and/or permanently hurt feelings

Family quarrels are sometimes common and most do not result in continuing resentment or permanently hurt feelings.

Quarrels are transient arguments if the relationships are basically good and humans agree with each other most of the time. If the relationship is strained or dysfunctional then quarreling only makes the situation worse in the long duration.

As a general rule the fewer quarrels the better the relationship and if arguing can be replaced with much more discussion then the relationship benefits enormously.

 

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THE TRUTH ABOUT TEASING+

 

teasing

Tease: v. to try to provoke mild aggression with some playful ((criticism and/or ridicule) and/or (insults and/or name calling)) which frequently results in transient hurt feelings and sometimes a sense of inferiority which may last for a lifetime

How many times have you heard? Your a momma’s boy, you’re a tomboy, you could have fooled me, I thought you were a faggot, your fat and maybe I should oink at you, you smell like a sewer, flowers are for girls, your nose can touch your lips it is so large, you have ears like an elephant, they could call you Dumbo, if you put on any more makeup you’ll resemble a modern abstract painting, etc. etc.

Playful fun is what it may seem to the one doing the ridiculing, criticism, insult, and name calling but teasing hurts feelings of selfworth and may create future feelings of inadequacy for the very thing which you are being teased for. Teasing is frequently used to get you to conform to some normative standard and if you fall out of range in terms of looks and/or behavior then you are ridiculed or made fun of, criticized, insulted, or name called.

Teasing is mild aggressive behavior and it is really a form of violence on the character and brain of the one being ridiculed. It inflicts psychological pain in the brain and becomes a wound with a scar which may be very small but not totally imperceptible in mental memory. Your ego ultimately is hurt in some way and the sensation may last in your subconscious mind for a very long time even though you usually understand that no harm was meant by the ridicule. Your mental life in some small way has been altered for the worse for a lifetime.

White lies are similar to white ridicule or teasing since some harm is ultimately done by pursuing either course of action. With white lies of exaggerated beauty or exaggerated untrue compliments, just trying to make someone feel good about themselves, you are really creating reality delusions in the human. With white ridicule or teasing you are subconsciously creating a sense of inadequacy which can modify future behavior and feelings in a bad way.

Ultimately teasing is a game of dominance where the teaser in some way feels superior to the one being teased and tries to act as a more powerful or superior human.

Teasing provokes mild aggression because it is an attempt at vengefully ( desiring to punish) reacting for the teasing or mentally violent assault or attack which mild or playful ridicule basically is.

Don’t tease since it’s not kind and/or don’t tease because it’s not polite, especially in public.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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THE TRUTH ABOUT APOLOGY

apology_mouse

Apology: n. regretfully communicating the acknowledgement of a mistake(s) and/or bad behavior(s) which frequently injures someone and/or hurts someone’s feelings and/or sense of selfworth

Most apologies should start off with a sincere “Sorry”, demonstrating genuine regret that you made a mistake or did something bad which injured a human or hurt their feelings and/or sense of selfworth.

Most have a very high regard for themselves and don’t want to admit that they did something immoral, bad, or made a mistake.

Sometimes we hope that if we don’t respond with an apology then the mistake or bad behavior won’t be noticed. Wrong. If possible you should almost always apologize sooner rather than later because you don’t want to start to create an impression that you have a deceptive personality and that you will only apologize if caught for a misdeed but otherwise are secretive about it.

Sometimes we name call with words like stupid, crazy, lazy, bitch, ugly, and pig, argue feverishly, harshly criticize, ridicule, offend, and use put down phrases hurting someone’s feelings and/or sense of selfworth.

An apology should frequently be forthcoming if you do any of the above insensitive non empathetic things. Making up is frequently the phrase used to signify that you are sorry for what you did. You can sometimes do the apology with more than just words and follow it up by doing or promising to do something nice to make up for the bad behavior.

 

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THE TRUTH ABOUT APOLOGIZING

Apology2

Apology: n. regretfully communicating the acknowledgement of a mistake(s) and/or bad behavior(s)

Occasionally even the best of us makes a mistake or does something bad which affects another human and hurts their feelings or circumstance. If you are conscious of your mistake or bad behavior then you should apologize by saying that you are “sorry”, mention what you are sorry for, and sometimes follow it up by compensating the offended in some way for the inconvenience in their lives. If you are not sure about the compensation then ask them to suggest a compensation if you think there should be one but you personally don’t know what it can be.

Perfection is for robots and not humans and if you apologize appropriately then you will be respected, admired, and trusted even more by others because everyone in life does things which they should be sorry for and you will be forgiven by most humans if you apologize to them appropriately and assume responsibility for your bad actions.

If you were rude, severely critical, used profanity inappropriately, or name called someone saying that they were stupid, crazy, or worthless then saying “sorry” may be enough. If on the other hand you do something bad which winds up costing someone money then appropriate apologizing would be to pay them back the money lost in addition to a verbal apology.

If you borrow something from someone and break it then either repair it or buy a replacement along with an apology for the inconvenience caused them.

In married life you will frequently cause emotional distress about something and very frequently the best response is just to apologize and say “sorry honey”, ”sorry honey it is just my opinion”, or “sorry honey it won’t happen again” if it is truly a onetime mistake or bad behavior.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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