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Crying boy being disciplined or punished.
One of the most effective ways of letting kids learn about the wrong things to do is to let them suffer the consequences.
Buy a relatively fragile toy and warn them sternly that it is fragile and it will break if thrown around or dropped from a high height. Then let the child play with the fragile toy until they wind up breaking it. Then tell them that because they were not careful enough the toy broke and tell them that it will be a long time before they will be trusted with another fragile toy again.
Obviously if the child is too young to be trusted with toxic household chemicals, dangerous medicines, or sharp objects like knives and sharp forks then these objects should be locked away in a secure place inaccessible to the child. You would not want them to suffer the bad consequences of being poisoned, cutting themselves severely with a sharp knife, or poking out an eye with a sharp fork.
The swimming pool is very dangerous for very small children and it should be fenced off until the child is taught to tread water or minimally stay afloat.
When crossing a street it is wise to hold the hand of a child and teach them to look both ways before crossing the street. If the child is not old enough to follow you across the street without running out into it then you must continue to hold the child’s hand until the child follows you obediently across the street on their own.
Logical consequences can also be taught with consistency.
If a child begins to throw a toy around which is not meant to be thrown then it can be removed and placed on a shelf for the rest of the day. A toy which is meant to be shared can similarly be removed for a day if sharing does not occur. If the children are old enough to tell time then you can request that each child share a toy for 10 minutes at a time. Once again, if the toy is not appropriately shared then it can be removed for the day. Sometimes a toy can be shared on a daily basis and one child may have it on Monday and the other can have it to play with on a Tuesday, etc.
Before bedtime it is a good time to put toys away. If the child does not put the toys away then you can threaten to put the toys in a box and not make them available for the next day of playing. If the child still refuses to put the toys away then follow through with the threat and box up the toys and remove them to a safe place out of reach for the next day.
Bathing, brushing teeth, and putting dirty clothes into a laundry hamper is a good routine to get into before bedtime. Once again a threat to remove a favorite toy for a day or a few days may be used to get compliance. Not highly recommended but possible is to force a child to put dirty clothes in a hamper by physically making them go through the motions by grabbing the child’s hand and moving his or her body from clothes to hamper until all the dirty clothes have been dropped in.
If a child does not finish dinner then that is just fine but warn them that they will be given no food or snacks until the next meal time. Children these days are overfed and missing one or two meals is not a tragic or unacceptable circumstance. Our ancestors sometimes went days without eating and even fasted at certain times and frankly only ate when hungry.
Another technique used by parents to stuff their kids is to say that you will only get desert if you finish your meal. Frankly, desert should be maybe a once in a week event since overconsumption of sweets is a major cause of diabetes and other eating problems. Supermarkets are overflowing with sugar added to lousy over processed foods of all kinds and is a major reason why many humans no longer eat healthy well balanced organic food meals.
For children fighting scolding in a loud voice can help and if that fails separating them physically and carrying one off to sit in a chair in a corner by themselves for an hour or so is usually effective. If a child throws a tantrum in a public place then physically removing them from that location and getting them to quiet or cool down in the car or outside the public location usually works if reinforced with the words-are you now ready to go back and behave?
Withholding a child’s privileges works well for all ages.
Withholding a cherished toy, not letting a child play outdoors for a day, or not letting him or her play with a playmate are privileges which can be withheld for bad behavior or as a form of discipline. For older children taking away a cellphone or computer for a day or week and grounding them for a given time are ways to get compliance with household rules and good behavior.
Spanking is usually not recommended but there may be certain children who are becoming compulsive liars or stealers and adults can be severely punished for these behaviors. Explain first to the children that lying and stealing destroys the trust between humans and they can no longer be good friends or no one will believe them anymore and that adults are punished for stealing with fines and jail. The threat of spanking should first be done for serious lying or stealing and then a consistent follow through with the spanking punishment if the intentional lying or stealing occurs again.
Discuss the logical consequences or reasons why bad behavior should not be tolerated.
Parents are usually not very good at this.
Reasons against fighting can be physical pain or harm on another, causing aggressive emotions and actions in another or probable bad retaliation, parents don’t physically fight with one another because they love one another and want to live together peacefully, and finally adult fighting is called physical abuse or battery and aggression punishable by jail time.
Reasons against yelling indoors is that it disturbs or annoys others who may not be able to concentrate on what they are doing, it is usually done in emergencies such as an accident, and it is usually done outdoors to cover a larger communication distance and to signal danger such as a speeding car or bicycle, etc.
Reasons for being polite, kind, considerate, empathetic, and friendly is that most humans will like you more and may even become a friend.
Non negotiable arguments for younger children.
There are just times when something isn’t fair in the child’s mind or when the child asserts his or her stubborn self and refuses to do something no matter how reasonable it may be. These are time when the parent has to say “yes, it isn’t fair” or “I know” and proceeds to enforce the rules saying Me and Mom are in charge of the family and rule enforcement and we are the final authority in making decisions for the children in the family. When you have children of your own then you can be the boss over them when they are young.
Finally the most important thing is to be a good role model for your children since most children ultimately behave like their parents later in life and act the same way towards their own children also. If you want your children to not smoke, not drink, not do drugs, not curse, not gamble, not fight, not frequently argue and if you want them to be polite, kind, courteous, empathetic, friendly, and loving then be that way yourself and interact appropriately with your spouse and other humans.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.
Enjoy!!!!!!
If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4100 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.
Enjoy!!!!!!
If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3700 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.
Enjoy!!!!!!
If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.
Enjoy!!!!!!
If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!
BE GOOD ROLE MODELS AND SURROUND YOUR OFFSPRING WITH GOOD ADULT ROLE MODELS AND PROMOTE INTERACTION WITH GOOD ROLE MODEL FRIENDS:
Offspring primarily learn from what you and others do, not say, so try to surround your offspring with humans who are good and are doing good things. Try to keep the exposure to bad role models to a minimum and that includes bad role models in the media.
INTRODUCE OFFSPRING EARLY TO THE KNOWLEDGE AND TOOLS NEEDED IN SCHOOL AND THEIR ENVIRONMENT:
Schooling is of primary importance so start early teaching your preschool offspring the alphabet, words, numbers, and big pictures of wildlife or animals and plants, household objects, and vehicles.
Read them stories about real humans doing interesting things in their environment. Stories about animals and plants, vehicles, and household objects are ideal.
Provide them with crayons, paper, and coloring books followed by colored pencils and paper to do their doodles.
Keep computer interaction to a minimum until they reach school age since early on offspring should be learning about and from their physical environment rather than from a computer screen.
It is best if you can supervise or participate with your offspring doing these things together but a nanny or older offspring can also do this for you.
ENCOURAGE TACTILE INTERACTION WITH THE ENVIRONMENT:
Buy interactive toys such as dolls, animals, action figurines, cars, trucks, trains, building blocks or Legos, and balls.
Brain body coordination is very important in offspring development so expose your offspring to the environment and all the things in it as soon as possible.
SPEND SOME TIME INTERACTING WITH INDIVIDUAL OFFSPRING ALONE:
Each offspring craves individual attention and individual interaction will help you to bond and get to know your offspring’s uniqueness compared to other offspring which you may also have. Conversing with your offspring one on one will further his or her communication skills and knowledge. Ask your offspring many questions and get them into the habit of asking you questions too, especially if you feel there is not much to talk about.
ESTABLISH RULES AND SET LIMITS CREATING SELFCONTROL OVER OFFSPRING’S OWN RESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOR.
Teaching offspring to be selfcontrolled and responsible for their own behavior is important. Obeying rules gives them a sense of security and knowing how far they can go before a vital rule is broken.
Putting away toys before bedtime, personal hygiene, dressing oneself, putting plates and utensils in the dishwasher or sink after finishing eating, and teaching or learning to share with other offspring are vital rules on the way to more independent behavior.
Conflicts over rules can arise and you can assert your parental authority, give in if it is important to the offspring but not so much to you, compromise if both are happy with it, and problem solve where you discuss the situation and reach a consensus or a solution acceptable to both sides.
This is not common parenting procedure but if you can teach your offspring to SCHEDULE their own time by the clock each day such as time with friends, time with homework, time alone, time on the computer, learning something new time, time with a hobby, play time, etc. then they will learn to value their time in life and at work eventually and not be wasteful or inefficient with it.
MONITOR OR SUPERVISE OFFSPRING:
Make sure you know where they are, with whom they are, and what they are doing to make sure they are doing things safely and responsibly.
Promote your offspring’s responsible independence.
Don’t micromanage your offspring’s life during the school years because he or she must learn to ultimately behave independently and responsibly on their own and an overprotective attitude can harm this independence in the long duration.
DISCIPLINE:
If something is illegal, immoral, unhealthy, unsafe, offensive, too expensive, or not the right time, place, and social environment then I won’t let you do that is the right approach and you will be punished with withdrawal of a privilege temporarily and/or a severe scolding if a bad behavior is repeating too often.
Be consistent in your expectations and present a unified front as parents so that offspring do not try to play one parent against the other.
Mommy lets me do this so why don’t you? or Daddy lets me do this so why don’t you?
How to punish and the ideal way of punishing:
The quick way is to just say if you do that again then your punishment will be withdrawal of a privilege, or even a spanking for lying or stealing again for very young offspring. Rarely a belt to the butt for a stealing teenager is necessary if taking away a cellphone or computer privileges does not work.
Ideally you identify the bad behavior, state why it is wrong, give alternative behaviors which are acceptable or may reach the same goals, a clear statement of what the punishment is going to be, and a statement of the expectation that it will not happen again. This approach is for smart educated parents.
Anger is inevitable but try to avoid insults, put downs, name calling, humiliation, and ridicule when it comes to disciplining your offspring.
Consistency in enforcing important rules is very desirable but realize that in the real world, except for immoral behavior, there are always one or two or more exceptions to your rules depending on the time, place, and social environment.
EXPLAIN YOUR RULES AND DECISIONS:
This is very hard to do because for most the reason for the rules and decisions was probably almost never explained by your parents either. So the explanation is that it is ILLEGAL, IMMORAL, UNHEALTHY,UNSAFE, OFFENSIVE, TOO EXPENSIVE, OR NOT THE RIGHT TIME, PLACE AND SOCIAL ENVIRONMENT.
Other possible explanations are that it takes too much parental time, energy, and money or that the offspring is wasting too much time, energy, and money doing something. You are living an inefficient life if you spend too much time, energy, and money on relatively unimportant things.
Another explanation may be that the family has priorities or important things to do or consider and what offspring are trying to do does not fit those important priorities and can basically be considered trivial shit.
A whole book can be written on what is offensive in public, what is offensive behavior to parents, to humans in general, and offensive to certain humans in particular. If an offspring offends either parent then it is probably bad behavior as long as the parent identifies it as being rude, unkind, cruel, mean, insulting, name calling, a put down, humiliation, ridicule, selfish or uncaring, lazy, bragging, messy, arrogant, irresponsible, disrespectful, etc.. Few parents can identify words and match them to behavior successfully so just saying it offends me or someone else should be enough of a reason in most cases when you can’t explain in detail.
One authority figure said a rule and decision must be reasonable, logical, and consistent but frankly there is no definition of reason and logical so this is just stupid intellectual advice or no advice at all.
The best advice is to try and talk about a rule or decision and get the offspring’s point of view. If it makes intuitive sense to the parent then there may be room for compromise or- rule or decision adjustment.
SUMMARY:
In the United States parenting is getting harder and not easier to do in an increasingly immoral and technologically changing society which challenges almost all the accepted rules of behavior or accepted norms, customs, and traditions of society.
Gambling, drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, pornography, deception, lying and irresponsible behavior tempts offspring at every turn and threatens to turn into severe handicapping addictions. Try to isolate very young offspring from these bad influences as long as possible.
If you are a flawed human with too many bad addictions yourself then consider not having any offspring at all who will just practice those same addictions when they grow up. If you are a dysfunctional human then you will be a dysfunctional parent so unless you can get your shit together don’t even think about having offspring before you straighten yourself out first.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.
Enjoy!!!!!!
If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.
Enjoy!!!!!!
If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!
Rolemodel: n. an imitated lifeform(s)
It may not be an obvious fact but over 90% of what we learn is from rolemodels or humans whom we imitate or would like to be like.
Offspring imitate parents and other offspring and students try to imitate humans whom they admire and respect who may be teachers, coaches, and celebrities.
If you are not very successful in life then chances are great that you were not exposed to good rolemodels in your formative years and are greatly handicapped in your attempts at success.
A healthy happy motivating family life is critical to good social development and if you come from a dysfunctional family then you may not be able to successfully interact with the opposite sex or may have trouble forming trusting good relationships with others.
Unfortunately celebrities are frequently poor role models for young offspring and many are the source for unrealistic expectations from life. Very few of us will become popular musicians, athletes, actors, business moguls, and media communicators and these are precisely the kind of humans whom the young idolize and wish to be like.
Poverty is very hard to escape largely because of the dearth of good role models. Dysfunctional families, addicted dysfunctional adult lifestyles, bad teachers, badly educated offspring with dysfunctional personalities, immorality and drug pushing gangs, and financial irresponsibility of adults all create an atmosphere of misery and desperation which few escape from.
There is basically a poverty of good rolemodels and this is what largely perpetuates poverty from generation to generation.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
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IMITATION
Imitation or copying one’s behavior is the way that over 90% of behavior learning exists. Offspring start by imitating their parents, but soon also start imitating their brothers, sisters, friends and rolemodels. Offspring need good rolemodels to imitate, and in the absence of good rolemodels, offspring will struggle to become good citizens in society.
Motivating your offspring to copy your good behaviors and the good behaviors of others is one of the most important jobs that you have as a parent. But since every parent is less than perfect, the odds are very great that another human(s) can do what the parent should do, only much better. If an offspring is to grow up to be better than the parents, it is an important responsibility for a parent to find the good human(s) and identify it for the offspring, a human(s) who possesses better behaviors and useful new or better skills.
The following expressions urge your children to copy yourself and others.
“Do it because I do it!”
“Copy me.”
“I’ll show you how.”
“Try to be an adult like me.”
“Maybe you can do it like me.”
“I will teach you as much as I can if you just do what I do.”
“Let me show you how to do it.”
“If I can do it better than you then try to copy it.”
“Imitate the leader.”
“You will be closer to being a big boy by doing it. You will be doing it just like dad!”
“My but you are starting to behave like a big girl. You do it just like mom!”
“Focus on me so that you will probably do it next time by yourself.”
“Practice it with me and soon you will be as good as me.”
“If you copy you will learn all the necessary behaviors quickly.”
“Copy your brother and/or sister and/or uncle and/or aunt and/or grandfather and/or grandmother and/or friend and/or teacher and/or coach and/or rolemodel.”
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There are limitations to imitating only parents. Many humans other than parents are imitated throughout life and sources of new useful information are vital.
Due to the fast technological change in society, and due to the complex increase in specialized skills, no parent can claim to be an expert on everything, not even their young offspring. It is the responsibility of parents to try to guarantee that their offspring are learning from the best people and the best media sources that their money can afford and their rank in society can help.
Things which you can say to your offspring:
“If you need better role models to imitate, then find other human’s and/or information sources which can teach you.”
“Make friends with a human who can teach you a new and useful skill and/or knowledge and/or give you a useful new experience in life.”
“Find someone to teach you.”
“If math is a problem, ask a friend who is good at it to help.”
”If you want to learn how to drive a motorcycle then find and pay a motorcyclist who can teach you.”
“Find the right information source to learn from.”
“Find an instructional video or DVD and learn from it.”
“Use the internet and/or books and/or magazines to teach you.”
“A professional teacher may not be the best or most economical source for teaching beginning basic skills which require much patience and repetition so learn as much as you can on your own first.”
“Learn as much as you can by yourself and we will find pros when you can’t further teach yourself successfully.”
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Some attempts at making robots may seem creepy but this is just a view of imperfect robots on the road to ultimate perfection or imitation of human behavior faithfully and perhaps eventually surpassing humans in functionality.
This is a link to the cracked.com article.
http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-creepy-ways-theyre-replacing-humans-with-robots/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_m56irWKeI
If you liked this evergreen blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE.
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uldissprogis 