BE GOOD ROLE MODELS AND SURROUND YOUR OFFSPRING WITH GOOD ADULT ROLE MODELS AND PROMOTE INTERACTION WITH GOOD ROLE MODEL FRIENDS:
Offspring primarily learn from what you and others do, not say, so try to surround your offspring with humans who are good and are doing good things. Try to keep the exposure to bad role models to a minimum and that includes bad role models in the media.
INTRODUCE OFFSPRING EARLY TO THE KNOWLEDGE AND TOOLS NEEDED IN SCHOOL AND THEIR ENVIRONMENT:
Schooling is of primary importance so start early teaching your preschool offspring the alphabet, words, numbers, and big pictures of wildlife or animals and plants, household objects, and vehicles.
Read them stories about real humans doing interesting things in their environment. Stories about animals and plants, vehicles, and household objects are ideal.
Provide them with crayons, paper, and coloring books followed by colored pencils and paper to do their doodles.
Keep computer interaction to a minimum until they reach school age since early on offspring should be learning about and from their physical environment rather than from a computer screen.
It is best if you can supervise or participate with your offspring doing these things together but a nanny or older offspring can also do this for you.
ENCOURAGE TACTILE INTERACTION WITH THE ENVIRONMENT:
Buy interactive toys such as dolls, animals, action figurines, cars, trucks, trains, building blocks or Legos, and balls.
Brain body coordination is very important in offspring development so expose your offspring to the environment and all the things in it as soon as possible.
SPEND SOME TIME INTERACTING WITH INDIVIDUAL OFFSPRING ALONE:
Each offspring craves individual attention and individual interaction will help you to bond and get to know your offspring’s uniqueness compared to other offspring which you may also have. Conversing with your offspring one on one will further his or her communication skills and knowledge. Ask your offspring many questions and get them into the habit of asking you questions too, especially if you feel there is not much to talk about.
ESTABLISH RULES AND SET LIMITS CREATING SELFCONTROL OVER OFFSPRING’S OWN RESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOR.
Teaching offspring to be selfcontrolled and responsible for their own behavior is important. Obeying rules gives them a sense of security and knowing how far they can go before a vital rule is broken.
Putting away toys before bedtime, personal hygiene, dressing oneself, putting plates and utensils in the dishwasher or sink after finishing eating, and teaching or learning to share with other offspring are vital rules on the way to more independent behavior.
Conflicts over rules can arise and you can assert your parental authority, give in if it is important to the offspring but not so much to you, compromise if both are happy with it, and problem solve where you discuss the situation and reach a consensus or a solution acceptable to both sides.
This is not common parenting procedure but if you can teach your offspring to SCHEDULE their own time by the clock each day such as time with friends, time with homework, time alone, time on the computer, learning something new time, time with a hobby, play time, etc. then they will learn to value their time in life and at work eventually and not be wasteful or inefficient with it.
MONITOR OR SUPERVISE OFFSPRING:
Make sure you know where they are, with whom they are, and what they are doing to make sure they are doing things safely and responsibly.
Promote your offspring’s responsible independence.
Don’t micromanage your offspring’s life during the school years because he or she must learn to ultimately behave independently and responsibly on their own and an overprotective attitude can harm this independence in the long duration.
If something is illegal, immoral, unhealthy, unsafe, offensive, too expensive, or not the right time, place, and social environment then I won’t let you do that is the right approach and you will be punished with withdrawal of a privilege temporarily and/or a severe scolding if a bad behavior is repeating too often.
Be consistent in your expectations and present a unified front as parents so that offspring do not try to play one parent against the other.
Mommy lets me do this so why don’t you? or Daddy lets me do this so why don’t you?
How to punish and the ideal way of punishing:
The quick way is to just say if you do that again then your punishment will be withdrawal of a privilege, or even a spanking for lying or stealing again for very young offspring. Rarely a belt to the butt for a stealing teenager is necessary if taking away a cellphone or computer privileges does not work.
Ideally you identify the bad behavior, state why it is wrong, give alternative behaviors which are acceptable or may reach the same goals, a clear statement of what the punishment is going to be, and a statement of the expectation that it will not happen again. This approach is for smart educated parents.
Anger is inevitable but try to avoid insults, put downs, name calling, humiliation, and ridicule when it comes to disciplining your offspring.
Consistency in enforcing important rules is very desirable but realize that in the real world, except for immoral behavior, there are always one or two or more exceptions to your rules depending on the time, place, and social environment.
EXPLAIN YOUR RULES AND DECISIONS:
This is very hard to do because for most the reason for the rules and decisions was probably almost never explained by your parents either. So the explanation is that it is ILLEGAL, IMMORAL, UNHEALTHY,UNSAFE, OFFENSIVE, TOO EXPENSIVE, OR NOT THE RIGHT TIME, PLACE AND SOCIAL ENVIRONMENT.
Other possible explanations are that it takes too much parental time, energy, and money or that the offspring is wasting too much time, energy, and money doing something. You are living an inefficient life if you spend too much time, energy, and money on relatively unimportant things.
Another explanation may be that the family has priorities or important things to do or consider and what offspring are trying to do does not fit those important priorities and can basically be considered trivial shit.
A whole book can be written on what is offensive in public, what is offensive behavior to parents, to humans in general, and offensive to certain humans in particular. If an offspring offends either parent then it is probably bad behavior as long as the parent identifies it as being rude, unkind, cruel, mean, insulting, name calling, a put down, humiliation, ridicule, selfish or uncaring, lazy, bragging, messy, arrogant, irresponsible, disrespectful, etc.. Few parents can identify words and match them to behavior successfully so just saying it offends me or someone else should be enough of a reason in most cases when you can’t explain in detail.
One authority figure said a rule and decision must be reasonable, logical, and consistent but frankly there is no definition of reason and logical so this is just stupid intellectual advice or no advice at all.
The best advice is to try and talk about a rule or decision and get the offspring’s point of view. If it makes intuitive sense to the parent then there may be room for compromise or- rule or decision adjustment.
In the United States parenting is getting harder and not easier to do in an increasingly immoral and technologically changing society which challenges almost all the accepted rules of behavior or accepted norms, customs, and traditions of society.
Gambling, drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, pornography, deception, lying and irresponsible behavior tempts offspring at every turn and threatens to turn into severe handicapping addictions. Try to isolate very young offspring from these bad influences as long as possible.
If you are a flawed human with too many bad addictions yourself then consider not having any offspring at all who will just practice those same addictions when they grow up. If you are a dysfunctional human then you will be a dysfunctional parent so unless you can get your shit together don’t even think about having offspring before you straighten yourself out first.
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