Tag Archives: intimacy



Many of the enemies of a relationship are also enemies of intimacy. Intimacy is really a closeness of two humans emotionally and physically and anything which reduces this closeness can be considered to be a disruptive influence or a potential enemy.

Much less communication,

disrespectful and critical comments,

hiding or lying about true feelings and events causes distrust,

an overly domineering attitude which minimizes sharing,

getting bored with predictable repetitive routines,


mental and/or physical abuse,

financial overspending,

loss of a job,

over dedication to job,

sexual denial by wife,

severe addiction,

irresponsible behavior,

disagreement on how to raise offspring,

getting old, and

an increase in combative or arguing behavior are potential causes of decreasing intimacy and correspondingly threats to the relationship.

Some may argue that loss of a job, financial overspending, a severe addiction, and adultery are indirect causes of a reduction in intimacy but all of these behaviors can directly increase arguing, distrust, disrespectful and critical comments so intimacy is still affected adversely even if this happens indirectly.

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You can name one or more of your partner’s FAVORITE books, songs, childhood pets, food, TV programs, celebrities, athletes, politicians, relatives, childhood friends, etc.

You know your partner’s best friend and know the friend’s best and worst qualities or characteristics.

You know your partner’s goals and/or aspirations in life,

the most embarrassing moment in childhood,

the proudest moment in childhood and adulthood,

and the characteristics and/or personality traits gotten from parents.

If you have offspring then you know what personality traits your partner has passed on to the offspring,

you know your partner’s flaws in detail and you don’t use stereotypic descriptions.


You support your partner’s good ideas and dreams,

frequently when you disagree you acknowledge the sensible points,

you offer praise or are enthusiastic when something good happens to your partner,

you mutually remember and relive major moments of happiness such as great vacations or important happy family events,

you remember new and mutually challenging moments in life,

when you argue you care about your partner’s feelings and opinions and don’t resort to name calling and profanities.


Your partner basically cares about you or tries to nurture or support you and tries to protect you from bad influences and bad humans.

You frequently express appreciation and admiration for one another,

you feel that you are teammates working towards common goals,

you are physically affectionate with each other and especially in the morning before departing to work,

your partner reacts kindly to your traumatic or fearful moments,

you don’t refuse to talk about important topics that your partner cares about, you care about your partner’s relationships with family, friends, acquaintances, boss, coworkers and respect them,

you have mutual fun together,

you value many of your partner’s suggestions and are willing to try them out, you enjoy spending time together,

when you are stressed or upset you can go to your partner for emotional support,  

you rarely condemn, show contempt, hatred,  cuss, or use a stereotypic name such as crazy or stupid,

you know that if you have something important to say then your partner will listen to you attentively,

and you have your own personal love gestures, signs, or affectionate words.


You are confident that your partner won’t cheat on you or jeopardize your financial security.

Your partner is honest, sincere, and reliable.

If your partner lies then hopefully it is because there is fear that feelings will be hurt and it is mostly white lies about relatively unimportant things since your partner probably hasn’t learned to be diplomatically honest when it comes to comments about a substandard gift, new clothing, or the quality of a homemade meal.

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To get more intimate with a human or develop a stronger bond you can ask a human to share their opinions, desires or wants, and goals in life. Other than goals in life you can ask a human to share opinions on job, personality, and lifestyle. Most of these questions will solidify a business relationship but many may also be used to solidify personal relationships.


Questions about job or career:

What would you be doing if you were not at your current job?

What more would you want in your career?

What was your biggest failure in business?

If you were to start a company from scratch, what values would you base it on?

Did you ever want to be something other than your career choice in life?

What do you think you will be doing 5 or 10 years from now?


Questions about personal goals:

If you knew you would die in a year suddenly, how would you change living now if at all?

Who influenced you the most in life and what did they do?

What would you most regret not having done at the end of your life?

What kind of impact do you have on people?

What’s the most important lesson that you learned in life?

If you ruled the world, what would you change on day one?

Who are your three most important people in your life?



Questions about personality:

What is one word which would describe yourself as a child?

What movie or novel character do you most identify with?

What  quality or characteristic of yours would you like humans to least emulate?

What characteristic do you most admire in others?

If you could change one thing about how you were raised as a child, what would that be?

What would you change about yourself if you could?

What superpower would you like to have?

What opinion do your coworkers have of you?

What are you most afraid of and what’s it stopping you from doing?

What kind of humans do you most dislike?


Questions about lifestyle:

What are your favorite pastimes away from work?

How do you recharge?

What one thing would you like to be remembered for?

When are you the happiest?

What personally are you most proud of?

What one memory do you most treasure?

What would a perfect day look like for you?

How do you act when your stressed out?

What is your ideal lifestyle which you would live if you could?


If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.


If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!


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Usually you can tell if you are loved and cared for by observing loving and caring emotional and bodily behaviors done towards you for a relatively long duration.

If the loving and caring lasts for a long duration it becomes more difficult for the loved one to pretend loving behaviors.

Generally the longer the duration in a loving relationship the more difficult it is for your loved one to pretend those loving behaviors and be a fake lover.

It is sometimes possible for a short duration to pretend loving and caring behaviors towards another but given enough time it is more probable that the person’s true intentions will show.

Given enough time both loving and/or caring and/or unloving and/or uncaring behaviors will be observed and a person who has tried to hide his unloving and uncaring will make a mistake and show his or her true (emotions and/or feelings) and/or (intentions and/or opinions).

Living together without marriage for a few years is a good test whether a loving relationship will last.

A shared morality frequently increases the probability that a long duration marriage will succeed and may make it unnecessary to live together on a test basis.

CONCLUSION: Don’t rush into a marriage without knowing all you can about your future potential mate.

I married after three months of courtship but I made up for the extra necessary time by asking a thousand and one questions about family, friends, ex husband, and pleasant and unpleasant experiences and didn’t catch her in one lie because she was being totally honest.

We are still happily married after 22 years living together.

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