Tag Archives: love

LOVEALL

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 5000 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1604!!!

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4900 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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MARRY WHEN YOU CAN AFFORD IT!!!

Historically in many cultures and currently in many parts of India, Pakistan, etc. there is something called a dowry which is some property in the form of goods, land, money, etc. which is usually given to the groom by the bride’s family upon marriage. You can argue all you want about the advantages and disadvantages of the dowry system but the fundamental fact is that marriage with offspring is an expensive proposition and the more financial resources that a couple has, the more probable it is that the family will have a secure and hopefully happy future.

Yes, a family with offspring is an expensive proposition so it is obvious why a dearth of enough money is often the leading cause of many divorces in the modern western world. In effect, a family can’t survive on love alone. All you need is love to marry is the popular dominant dangerous myth promoted in the west.

Historically in agrarian cultures where you have mostly farmers, offspring were an advantage because they could help with the farm work and make the family money and in old age families often stayed together so offspring were also old age insurance when the parents could no longer work on the farm.

Today most offspring are an incredibly large financial liability and cost an arm and a leg to educate and provide them with basic necessities. There are also many cases where upon graduation the offspring can’t find a decent paying job and wind up living with the parents for financial reasons.

So the best advice to give before marriage is make sure that you can afford it, especially if you want to have offspring. Yes, you can marry, use family planning or contraception and not have offspring until you can afford it. If you have offspring by accident and one spouse doesn’t want an abortion then a nasty divorce with unwanted legal financial responsibilities may be the result.

Now love and sex is a very powerful force of nature and it is entirely possible to run across a potential very compatible mate as young adults but neither party is making enough money or both are still educating themselves for a useful job or career. What do you do? Well you can live together or live separately being sexually faithful and use birth control and under no circumstances beget offspring. If a spouse gets pregnant then the smartest thing to do is to either get an abortion or give up the child to an adoption agency upon birth. Marriage should mean offspring and until you can afford offspring, don’t marry!

In the modern era usually both spouses are working and you may be wrongly concluding that you can afford offspring. Realistically child care, especially when they are young is a full time occupation and unless you can afford a nanny prepare for the high probability that one spouse will have to take much time off from the job to raise the young child. You will be surviving on one salary alone for a considerable period of time so make sure that you have enough money saved up or better yet wait until one spouse alone can afford to support the family with child.

If one spouse is a compulsive shopper or another accumulates large credit card debt then this is a danger sign that there is financial hardship ahead. If neither spouse is financially responsible then the relationship will probably crash and burn so avoid this circumstance as much as possible. If one spouse is financially responsible and in charge of all the money then the relationship may still be doable but not if both are financially irresponsible. If one is financially responsible and the other is not then prepare for a boatload of ongoing nasty arguments about money.

Yes, enough money and managing it wisely is very important in a marriage and if you fail on either count then most of your arguments will be about money and will almost definitely lead to eventual divorce.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4900 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1546!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4900 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1543!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4900 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1536!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4900 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1521!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4800 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1508!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4800 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1480!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4800 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1397!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4700 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1366!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4600 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1363!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4600 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1232!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4500 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1229!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4500 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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13 WAYS TO INCREASE CARING IN A LOVING RELATIONSHIP!!!

Listen and only interrupt if it is getting too boring, then try to change the subject.

Speak without accusing unless it is an important transgression.

Give advice and aid where appropriate but do so judiciously.

Answer in discussion mode without arguing.

Share where appropriate but don’t be pretentious.

Enjoy without complaining.

Trust and only waver if you sense intentional deception or lying.

Forgive minor transgressions without resorting to punishment, unless the transgression is an immoral one.

Promise by fulfilling the obligation and don’t forget.

Encourage and support good behavior and worthwhile goals.

Support with empathy and optimism when one has had a bad day.

Care about problems which pop up and try to do something constructive if possible.

Be careful what you say and do when you are very angry and if there seems to be no immediate solution to a problem, postpone a discussion for a later time.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4500 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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LOVE: WHY, WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN, HOW, AND HOW MUCH???

What you are going to read about is a revolutionary way of explaining love which will result in a logical definition of love and a claim that love is 3 dimensional. 3 dimensional in the sense that you have to consider that three things are going on in every loving experience. My claim is that to experience love it must be a very intense pleasure that you are experiencing, that you care about the experience, and that you will probably have a desire to repeat the experience at some point in the future, possibly many times. This being said, let’s start out by trying to answer WHY we experience love?

 

We use our senses of sight, hearing, taste, touch, etc. to sense our environment around us and also sense sometimes the way that our body and mind reacts at a given point in time. You can say I love what I am seeing, I love what I am hearing, I love what I am tasting, I love the touch, I love what I am feeling, etc.

 

If you are in a coma then you probably don’t consciously sense anything but for most of us we can get very intense pleasure by looking at something very beautiful which may be a human(s), lifeform(s), or an object(s) such as a very attractive woman or man, a spectacular flower, an aerodynamic sports car, detailed colorful artwork, or a spectacular sunset. Yes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and not everyone agrees that something is very beautiful but each individual experience understands what they mean when they say- I love it!! or I love that!!

 

A sniper soldier may say I love killing the enemy and a pacifist may say I love saving starving children but both are getting intense pleasure out of some parts of the experience. So yes, love is not a moral value which is usually good and seldom bad but it is really amoral or an emotion and behavior which can be good or bad depending on what you are loving and under what circumstances.

 

You can also ask WHY do we love to do certain things which we didn’t love at first? Well, we generally love to do things which we become very good at or very skilled at and can feel a sense of pride in. At first you may just LIKE to play an instrument, sing songs, write, do science experiments, build something using tools, or have an interest in medicine. Over time, the better that you get at doing something or the more masterful that you get at doing something you may learn to love playing an instrument, love singing songs, love writing articles or books, love working at scientific research, love working in construction, or love being a world renowned doctor.

 

Yes, it helps to have a human audience which appreciates your work and tells you how great you are at your job, hobby, or pastime but ultimately there are relatively few who have an ongoing or frequently passionate attitude, very intense pleasure, or love for something which they excel at.

 

Note: it is common practice to say I love my job, hobby, or pastime but the reality is that there can’t be very intense pleasure all the time. Honestly when you say you love something then you really mean that you FREQUENTLY experience very intense pleasure but definitely not all the time. Love like any intense emotion is not sustainable for very long because there must also be moments of rest or supportive activity to recuperate from the high emotional intensity.

 

WHY do you start out loving something and after a while no longer love that thing? Initially we may love the sight of a stunning dress, a new car, or a new sexy date but after a while we get used to the dress or new car and it becomes deja vue or something rather old and perhaps even boring. Our new date may turn out to have a very flawed personality which we don’t like or even hate and that makes him or her much less appealing although we may still love having sex with the date if the opportunity arises.

 

Initially we get very intense pleasure out of sex in a marriage but with time the experience may give us less pleasure, especially if one becomes rather unattractive or old and very obese. Yes, long married couples having very little sex or none at all may have rather infrequent very intense pleasure episodes but a relatively happy marital interaction with caring and affection. The relationship becomes a pleasant familiar habit which is the reason marriage still continues despite very few very intensely pleasurable or loving moments. It would be more accurate to say that a happy old married couple is not in love any more but are really existing or living in caring, affection, liking, and fondness mode.

 

From a biological point of view you can ask WHY do we love? Yes, you can rationalize everything and say that it is chemistry in the brain that makes us love something. Realistically WHY we love something is because often it is something which helps us to survive well and helps us to reproduce or pass on our genes to the next generation.

 

It is important to point out that some humans love to do legal and illegal drugs, drink alcohol, view pornography, shop, gamble, steal, and have sex. They love or get very intense pleasure from a drug high, intoxication, copulation, winning or hoping for a win while gambling, buying something they impulsively like, or stealing and getting something for free with little effort, etc. When done to excess these things become addictive habits and are hard to cure or get rid of even when they start to endanger a secure lifestyle or good relationships with others.

 

Yes, some things done to excess are illegal or legal but can become dangerous so beware of things which can harm you in the long duration and avoid them as much as possible. WHAT you learn to love is just as important as the loving experience itself. Love the wrong things and you can turn your life into a miserable mess or even wind up killing yourself.

 

 

WHAT do we love? It can be literally anything and everything for some humans. Yes, there are even philosophers who claim to love everything including moral and immoral behavior because they feel that each has a role to play in the never ending struggle for survival and reproduction on the face of this planet. They like to speak about it as a balance of nature or the balance between good and bad things such as good and bad behaviors or good and bad events which impact humans, lifeforms, and the environment.

 

Loving anything can be loving death, cults, torture, hate, rocks, poisonous snakes, ugly dogs, ugly humans, etc. Yes, getting very intense pleasure from these things can be called obsessions rather than love but the intense emotional experience exists for some humans and it really is love also.

 

Contrary to popular mythology or linguistic inaccuracy love is not the opposite or antonym of hate. Some humans simply love to hate some individuals, groups, nations, lifeforms, behaviors, and objects. Some humans love to hate certain politicians, ethnic minorities, nations, ideologies, poisonous plants, rude behavior, and guns.

 

Talk to these humans and you will eventually find out how much pleasure they get out of insulting, putting down, name calling, ridiculing, humiliating, or showing great repulsion or hatred towards these things. What you hate you generally would like to destroy or make it go away. I love to destroy what I hate or it would give me very intense pleasure to destroy what I hate or I love to think about destroying what I hate. I love to hate exists in many humans because many of us hate one or more things in life.

 

WHERE do we love? Anywhere where you experience very intense pleasure you are experiencing love. It can be in the wilderness viewing a wild animal or a majestic waterfall and it can be in a small apartment viewing a picture of your significant other or listening to your favorite song on a cellphone.

 

WHEN do you experience love? Just thinking about something that you love can result in very intense pleasure but more frequently it is when you are in close proximity to something that you love or when you are interacting with something that you love. When you are close to something that you love or are interacting with something that you love then the chances that you will experience very intense pleasure or love increase.  Of course a cellphone or computer screen can bring an awesome view or a video of your significant other within close proximity so you don’t have to be physically close to what you love to experience love.

 

 

HOW do we love? This question implies that there is something that one must do to the object or subject of our love. When you love something then you generally care for that something and that means usually trying to nurture and protect the object and/or subject of your love. Caring is the second dimension of love.

 

Nurturing and protecting or caring for an object that you love is rather simple though sometimes expensive. If you have an awesome sports car then you will probably maintain it in good working condition and keep it clean and put on a protective finish. You may also try to protect it from dings from other cars by parking it away from other vehicles in the parking lot. You may try to improve your sports car by adding accessories to customize it and make the driving experience even better. Trying to improve your sports car can be considered nurturing and mechanical maintenance and shielding from vandalism can be considered to be protective behavior.

 

Nurturing and protecting or caring for a spouse and offspring is very complicated and not that many succeed in doing so remarkably well. The important thing to note is that caring for a spouse and offspring that you love is not always a pleasant experience and there may even be many times when you hate the behavior of your spouse and offspring and may be frustrated by the fact that the bad behavior is not so easy to treat, cure, or deal with. That is why it is important to appreciate the loving experiences with your spouse and offspring when they happen because you will also have many bad experiences to deal with and handle.

 

With offspring you must nurture and protect them by educating and disciplining them and motivating them to be the best that they can become so that they become contributing members of society when they grow up. With a spouse you nurture and protect by being affectionate and also motivating him or her to improve and complimenting when they do something well, worthwhile, or commendable. Trying to do well at your job and bringing home more money and saving some is also helpful in protecting the family from crisis situations.

 

For those interested in more details on parenting and love I recommend my books MODERN PARENTING and LOVEALL.

 

HOW MUCH love is too much love or too little love? An answer really depends on what you are getting your very intense pleasure from. If you get most of your very intense pleasure from family, friends, and job then you usually have very little to worry about. However, if you are getting most of your loving experiences from drugs, alcohol, gambling, promiscuity, shopping, and pornography then you run the danger of becoming addicted which will almost guarantee that your relationships will crash and burn, that you will become financially impoverished, and that you will live with much misery and unhappiness in your life.

 

What is not so obvious but is true is the fact that of loving experience creates a subconscious and conscious desire to experience the very intense pleasure again or a desire to interact with the love subject and/or object in the short and/or long duration. This desire is very much a part of the loving experience and can be considered to be the third dimension of love. Bringing all three dimensions of love together we now can come up with a definition for love.

 

Love: v. to sense a very intense pleasure for a subset(s) one cares about and the behaviors which exist with it and frequently desiring to (possess and/or interact with) and/or experience samer subset(s) for a short and/or long duration

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1184!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1181!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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18 QUESTIONS YOU SHOULD ASK BEFORE MARRIAGE!!!

The two most important priorities in marriage are finances and offspring. It is very smart to make sure that you are on the same page on these two topics and have similar views on spending money or perhaps even saving some. Six questions you should ask are-

How much money should we both be making before having children?

Will we have enough money saved to take care of childcare when we have a newborn or will just one of us be working for a while?

About how many offspring would you like to raise or support?

If we won $10,000 how would you spend it?

How long do you think you will be working at your current job before you either get promoted or move on to a better job elsewhere?

What kind of work do you think you will be doing ten years from now?

 

4 important questions to ask relate to fidelity and promiscuity which is a very important subject to discuss because next to finances adultery is the second major cause for divorce in what is turning out to be a relatively hedonous western society with an overemphasis on sex and the pursuit of pleasure.

Beware, because old bad habits are hard to break or eliminate and if your future spouse has a history of great promiscuity then the chances are great that promiscuity will continue in the future too after marriage. Another important area to probe is a possible addiction to pornography and possible kinky sexual turn-ons which should be discussed prior to marriage to see whether they may handicap a consensual sexual relationship.

Are you monogamous?

What do you consider cheating in marriage?

About how many women or men have you slept with before you met me?

What turns you on sexually?

 

Housework can be a source for many arguments and you should determine whose responsibility it will be beforehand or whether you will be sharing the load and be assigned tasks to do such as cleaning, doing laundry, meal preparation, doing the dishes, taking out the garbage, yardwork, gardening, etc. Hopefully you won’t get into an argument about this is women’s work or this is man’s work because routine work is work no matter who does it.

Who will be responsible for the housework or will we be sharing it and how?

 

In-laws can be a major source for marital disagreement especially if some of them want to get involved in your marriage. Even worse is if they decide that they want to run it for you and are always critical of one spouse and take sides in marital disagreements. It is important to get a ball park idea on how important parents and in-laws will be in a marriage, especially if they are overly critical, combative, and don’t get along well with either spouse.

How involved will we get in supporting your parents in retirement years?

What role will your family play in our marriage?

What will you do if I get into a fight with your family?

 

What is also important is finding out how much of an introvert or extrovert your potential spouse is. You may find a very reclusive spouse unsettling and may start complaining about being ignored. On the other hand an extreme extrovert may spend too much time with other humans and once again you may begin to feel ignored. In either case, try to find out if you are going to have to deal with an extreme introvert or an extreme extrovert which may be disruptive to marital life.

How much space or time for yourself do you need?

What things do you enjoy doing by yourself?

 

Many of us just live from day to day without consciously planning or thinking about the future in any significant way. Some of us do have long duration goals so it is important to know how marriage will affect those goals.

What is your goal or purpose in life and how do you envision a partner fitting into it?

 

Finally, compatibility is often a function of similar likes and loves so it is important to find out in some detail what your potential spouse loves, hates, likes, and dislikes. If you find out that your morality is different or that you have radically different views on raising offspring then this can become a major source of arguments, disagreements, and unnecessary turmoil.

What do you love and hate the most and what do you like and dislike?

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1163!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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JAPANESE “IKIGAI”: A CONCEPT WHICH CREATES HAPPINESS WHEN ONE FINDS A GOAL TO PURSUE WHICH BRINGS FULFILLMENT!!!

Huffpost.com is a heavily Democrat biased website which dogmatically promoted Hillary Clinton for president and was shocked when Trump won just like the shocked legacy or establishment media. When Huffpost.com was founded it had some very interesting non political articles posted by independent bloggers and you could comment on the article.

Now it has transformed itself into a political left wing mouthpiece which only once in a blue moon  publishes a non political article which is worth reading. This one article on Japanese “ikigai” is an exception to the general rule that myopic political articles and celebrities dominate everything that Huff publishes.

Japanese ikigai fundamentally states that you will be happy if you are doing something that you love, something which you are good at, something that you can be paid for, and fundamentally doing something which the world needs. The article gives an example of a Japanese shoe repairer who has his own shop and derives happiness or satisfaction from being paid for a well done job or service which most humans are thankful for and give positive feedback.

The average Japanese lives about five years longer than the average American and even though a better diet and more communal lifestyle may be the reason, ikigai may also factor in to some extent.

It is possible to have a lousy job and still find ikigai in a hobby, family, or anything which brings joy and happiness into one’s life. Click on the ikigai link and enjoy reading this article. ikigai.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1160!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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EXPLAINING THE NEW DEFINITION FOR LOVE!!!

The purpose of this video is to present and try to explain a new definition for love which can be considered to be three dimensional or having 3 basic parts which exist together simultaneously or exist together all at once. The three parts exist together in any love experience or love behavior.

Briefly the three basic parts to any love experience is SENSING A VERY INTENSE PLEASURE during the experience, CARING about the experience, and DESIRING the experience. We are talking here about the LOVE experience.

Let’s first explain what we mean by “sensing a very intense pleasure”.

The full definition for pleasure is-

Pleasure: n. sensing a sensation which the brain subjectively judges to be good and is what most people desire to experience in various degrees of intensity

So we are saying that pleasure is a feeling and it is basically experiencing something which FEELS GOOD. When we say very intense pleasure then we are really saying it is something which feels VERY GOOD or EXTREMELY GOOD.

There is a danger here in using the word good because good is a value judgment and a drug high may be a very intense pleasure but it is not a very good pleasure. Drug highs can be very addictive and cause bad circumstances or situations in the long duration. A drug high is really a very bad feeling or pleasure in the long duration and many can cause severe unpleasant withdrawal symptoms such as withdrawal symptoms caused by heroin.

The full definition for intense is-

Intense: adj. impacting a unit area per unit time with a quantity of energy and/or matter

Intensity is used here to suggest the reality that intensity is similar to energy impacting or hitting the brain at a great rate thus exciting the brain. So we can in another way say that intense pleasure is excited pleasure. When we say very intense then we are really saying very excited. So very excited pleasure is very intense pleasure.

Love is a very intense feeling and a feeling by itself is much less intense. Two examples of feelings are affection for and liking something. Love is not an affection. Love is not liking. Both affection for and liking are merely feelings and not as intense as love. Many humans confuse feelings with love and make the mistake of saying that affection and liking are examples of a LITTLE love and this is just not true. That would be saying that affection and liking are examples of a little very intense pleasure. What does a little very intense pleasure really mean? It’s nonsense.

From the standpoint of feelings, when we talk about love we are not talking here about good feelings but about very good or extremely good feelings and only the extremely good feelings can be called love. Historically love has been called a strong feeling so we could inaccurately say the love is a very strong feeling. Strong is not intense.  Love is really a very intense feeling or pleasure.

We are really talking here about the degree of pleasure and love is a high or large degree of pleasure. If we say very intense pleasure or extremely good pleasure or extremely good feelings then we are talking about the same thing only my definition of very intense pleasure is more accurate than just saying extremely good feelings. Good is not intense and is a value judgement.

The first part or dimension of love is the emotional part which can be described as “sensing very intense pleasure”. When you are having a very intense emotional experience for a short or sometimes even long time then you can say that you are experiencing or sensing very intense pleasure or love. A loving experience can be very short in time or it can be experienced for longer periods of time than just a few seconds or minutes. That is why it is more accurate to say sensing very intense pleasure for a short and/or long duration.

Time is a very important concept in the definition and understanding of love since no normal human is capable of experiencing very intense pleasure ALL the time unless they are mentally ill or are continuously being fed mentally stimulating drugs. Very intense normal excited experiences come and go during the day in general living.

Love has a frequency of occurrence such as none a day, once a day, three times a day, etc. You can say that I experienced no love today, I experienced love three times today, and I experienced love 23 times this month.

Wow! I look and love that new sports car, Out of sight! I love how she looks in her new outfit, or that was a fantastic touchdown. I loved it! I loved the sex and orgasm! These are all examples of relatively short intense emotional love experiences.

An intense or relatively elevated emotional feeling can sometimes last for a few weeks or even a few months such as during an infatuation with the opposite sex. I loved to talk to her, loved to think about her, loved to interact with her, loved how she looked and much of my life during the infatuation time period revolved around her exclusively. Yes, even during an infatuation time period the love is not always of great intensity because we have to take time out to sleep, work, eat, go to the bathroom, and maybe even exercise a little. So everything that you do during the infatuation time period is not intense emotional love but has periods of emotional calm also when you are NOT sensing very intense pleasure.

The love experience does not vary in degree such as a small degree of love which is really just liking. Liking is not low intensity love but just low intensity pleasure. Medium intensity pleasure which is affection is also not very intense pleasure or love.

This is why love is so confusing a concept for most humans because there is really no such thing as a little love or low intensity love. When you say that you are getting only a little love you really are saying and meaning that the frequency of the love which you are getting is low. I only get love once a month is very low frequency love which is often confused as little love.

For example- You frequently didn’t love me today compared to yesterday. We only had sex once today and yesterday it was three times. You loved me more frequently yesterday. Thus loving experiences can happen zero times a day, one to ten or more times a day and all of them are separated from each other with periods of relative calm or relaxation or low intensity pleasure and maybe some unpleasant experiences thrown inbetween the loving experiences.

When you have an orgasm, or are informed that you have landed the job of your dreams then you sense very intense pleasure for a relatively short time. You can also sense very intense pleasure saying “right on to yourself” when you hear that a human that you hated on the job just got fired. Emotionally you love the new news of that firing event.

Let’s use a concrete example to explain the next two parts of love by using sexual intercourse. Yes, some women don’t enjoy sexual intercourse for many possible reasons but males generally get very intense pleasure from the sex experience which usually results in a climax or ejaculation.

We have established the fact that sexual intercourse is very intense pleasure for males and further most males CARE about the experience or want to nurture and protect it which is what caring is all about. We nurture the loving experience by trying to make it better which means trying different sex positions other than the missionary position where the male is on top and the female is on the bottom. We may nurture sex by arousing the female with loving words and behavior which the female enjoys. There are probably many more ways sex can be nurtured to make the overall experience more pleasurable or at least relatively constant from one sexual experience to the next.

Caring also means protecting the love experience so we may choose to marry the female to get exclusive sexual rights from her and ensure that she is protected from having sexual intercourse with others. Closing the door so that others do not observe the sexual act is a way of protecting the sexual experience from interruption. We also protect or care by not being too rough during sex and injuring the female in the process.

Since caring is often thought of as a behavior and not an emotion it is often falsely separated or omitted from the definition of love. We really care while we are having sex but it is not intuitively obvious to an impartial observer who may not have analyzed what caring or the nurturing and protective behaviors are during the sexual experience.

The last part of love is a DESIRE for the love experience. We desire to possess and/or interact with and/or experience the sexual intercourse in the short and/or long duration. There is an observation by some scientists that sex is on the young adult male mind on a daily basis and this leads to addictive pornography and masturbation for some males who don’t have regular sexual partners or females. There is definitely a desire for sex in the male mind and this is one of the main reasons why so many young males have a tendency to be promiscuous since they fear the financial responsibility of marriage and offspring rearing.

When we start sexual intercourse there is a desire to want to continue it to it’s conclusion. The desire exists while we are doing the love act or experience.

We have established the fact that there is very intense pleasure, caring for, and desire in sexual intercourse for males and the three exist in the male brain simultaneously or at the same time.

So a loving moment here has three parts- the very intense pleasure part, the caring part, and the desire part all working in the brain at the same time or simultaneously and it lasts for a short and/or long duration.

It could now be asked- is an affectional display for your spouse love or an act of love? The answer is no. Affection for your spouse is not a very intense pleasure but a medium intensity pleasure so it can’t be called love or an act of love even though affection is a bonding behavior and often brings two interacting humans close or closer together, especially in a marriage.

It is a fact of life that affectionate behavior and liking behavior towards our spouse exists in a marriage loving relationship. These are not loving behaviors contrary to the old notion of love where any affectionate or liking display was considered love or loving one’s spouse. There is frankly no very intense pleasure in affectionate and liking behaviors but rather medium and low intensity pleasure.

We can thus call “being in love” or a loving relationship- loving, affection, and liking but not simultaneously or not at the same time. We sometimes love, we sometimes are affectionate, and we sometimes like what we do in an ongoing loving relationship with our spouse.

Now you can ask what happens to a loving relationship when the very intense pleasure of love begins to subside such as in old age when sex stops. The relationship can continue due to a good habit which means that there is still some affection and liking going on which continues to bond two humans together. A desire to commit to and continue the commitment in a relationship is also what keeps the marriage together and you can consider it a form of loyalty.

It seems obvious that love is possible between two humans but some don’t believe that love is possible with an object. What does- I love my sports car really mean? There is the obvious love reaction when first buying the car which is a very intense pleasure that we experience. Then there is the very intense pleasure that we get driving it such as accelerating past another car, driving fast, maybe changing lanes to pass other cars, and negotiating fast turns or sharp curves in the road.

We care for our car because we protect it by driving safely to avoid accidents and we desire to drive it to get to our destination in the fastest time possible. Males especially love their car at first, care for it by maintaining it and driving safely, and finally desire to drive it when they go somewhere. Some males also take pride in their car since they consider it a female magnet when they are single.

Many males desire to possess a car, interact with it, and experience driving it for short and/or long durations. Yes, many males don’t love driving and obeying all the traffic rules but some go to race tracks and obstacle courses where they love to drive fast and negotiate dangerous obstacles.

Not all women love shopping but the ones that do get very intense pleasure from shopping, especially when they find something beautiful or eye catching. They care for shopping by nurturing it with conversations about it with other women and by trying to get the best deal. They also desire to shop when they have enough money in the bank and some are compulsive shoppers and desire to shop even when they can’t afford it.

Very few love to drive and shop ALL the time but there are usually parts of driving and shopping which many love. Both driving and shopping are often necessities and most of us drive and shop to survive in the modern world.

Conclusion:

Almost all of us love objects and/or subjects in our lives and we experience very intense pleasure from them for a short and/or long duration. It is a fact of life that our love for things or subsets often fades with the passage of time but most of us continue to love something at some point for duration during an entire lifespan.

Humans are very different in many ways and every individual loves different things in his or her personal way. The real key to life is learning to love the right things or learning to love the right objects and/or subjects and/or subsets which fit your abilities, personality, and mindset.

Finally the full new definition for love is-

Love: v. to sense a very intense pleasure for a subset(s) one cares about and the behaviors which exist with it and frequently desiring to (possess and/or interact with) and/or experience samer subset(s) for a short and/or long duration

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10 THINGS TO TRY AND AVOID ON DATES, ESPECIALLY FIRST DATES!!!

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Sincere compliments and appropriate praise for looks and opinions makes most women feel good. If you have a good job and are a good conversationalist who knows how to show interest in a woman by asking questions and listening more than speaking about yourself then this is also a good thing to do on a first date. Your strengths and some of your weaknesses will all eventually come out in follow up conversations or dates so being sincerely honest will go a long way towards establishing trust and creating possible strong bonding with the opposite sex or significant other.

If you are handsome and merely trying to deceptively score on an attractive but gullible woman then the rules are different but I won’t reveal them because I am not interested in promoting sleaze bag behavior.

Melanie Curtin is a relatively smart woman and if smarts interest you more than just looks then here are 10 things which you should try to avoid doing since they are turn offs for most smart women.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/melanie-curtin/ten-things-to-avoid-when-_b_3447210.html

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HOW TO BE MORE CHARMING!!!

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Charm: v. to arouse pleasantness and/or admiration by being visually attractive and polite and friendly and likable

If you want to be more charming, especially to the opposite sex then you have to be visually more attractive, polite, friendly, and likable.

If you are polite, friendly, and likable chances are that you will still be attractive even though you may not be handsome or beautiful and well off financially with nice clothes, car, house, and costly adult toys.

Yes, many humans marry uncharming humans who are not that friendly, not that polite, not very likable, and borderline attractive. Many eventually end up in divorce because truly charming individuals are a rarity in society and there is no proof that charming individuals have longer duration marriages, especially in overly promiscuous societies. A charming individual is really an idealized human being with an abundance of good human behaviors and unfortunately in the real world most humans fall far short of this idealized state of charm.

 

Politeness: n. intentional respect and consideration and using accepted social etiquette

Politeness varies to some extent from culture to culture and the etiquette has some minor and major differences. Showing respect and consideration is also slightly different from culture to culture since it is dependent on etiquette to some extent.

Likability is mostly a question of showing that you care about someone and are empathetic. Nurturing and protecting another human is what caring is all about. Being empathetic takes some emotional intelligence and it means being able to detect impulsively or by asking relevant questions how a human is feeling at the moment and often how they are feeling about a given subject of conversation.

Humans like to be respected and one way to show this is to be genuinely glad when meeting someone. Being a good listener, asking relevant sincere and open ended questions, eye contact, mimicking a smile, frown, or head nod are ways of showing that you care about another human’s conversation and that you empathize with what they are saying. Giving humans this feedback is the essence of human bonding through conversation and gesture which demonstrates an ability to get more intimate with another human. By listening more yet still smartly conversing you are making the other human feel important and respected which raises your likability factor considerably.

Likability also increases when you occasionally reveal a vulnerability or a weakness proving that you are not perfect but just another slightly flawed human who also has failed on occasion. You come across as a genuine likable human and not an overconfident, arrogant, egotistical fake perfectionist.

Another obvious vulnerability is making a mistake. Likable humans own up to mistakes, take full responsibility, sometimes promise to not make the same mistake again, and sometimes make a joke or laugh at the mistake. Often others laugh with you and not at you. They like you more because you are genuine and not perfect and other humans often empathize with you rather than mock you.

Opposing opinions can often lead to arguments and confrontations if you always look for opposing views to challenge. A likeable human embarks on trying to find places of agreement first to converse about and has a live and let live tolerant view of strongly held opinions and beliefs which are usually not subject to change.

Being friendly is far more complex. You are considered friendly if you are friendly in very similar ways no matter what the status of the human and treat them with common respectful conversation without being rude, arrogant, or offensive. Try very hard to remember names and even the names of best friends and close relatives. Friendly humans usually don’t name drop and try to brag or impress others with celebrity status connections if there are any.

Finally friendliness is a function of your good basic personality. If you have integrity and are trustworthy, dependable, competent, caring, empathetic, confident, and communicate well then many more humans will be attracted to you and you will be able to bond more closely with better friends and significant others who share most of your basic traits.

Charming an audience or charming a potential spouse has some different skill sets but the foundational behaviors of charming individuals is largely the same and only vary in degree and not substance.

 

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THE TRUTH ABOUT CHARM

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Charm: v. to arouse pleasantness and/or admiration by being visually attractive and polite and friendly and likable

A charming human can arouse pleasant feelings in another by being visually attractive, polite, friendly, and likable. A very charming human can arouse admiration in another by being very visually attractive, very polite, very friendly, and very likable which really means lovable.

Your charm can range from the likable to the lovable and it is up to you whether you want to be just liked or loved by someone. Charming an audience may be getting them to just like you and charming a potential spouse means added slightly different behaviors such as hugging, kissing, and touching such as holding hands and pats on the back.

Yes, many humans marry uncharming humans who are not that friendly, not that polite, not very likable, and borderline attractive. Many eventually end up in divorce because truly charming individuals are a rarity in society and there is no proof that charming individuals have longer duration marriages, especially in overly promiscuous societies. A charming individual is really an idealized human being with an abundance of good human behaviors and unfortunately in the real world most humans fall far short of this idealized state of charm.

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THE TRUTH ABOUT EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

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Emotional intelligence: n. the ability to accurately assess a human’s emotional circumstance and to proceed to communicate appropriately and/or to motivate samer human to achieve a goal(s)

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to impulsively control your impulsive desires to express intense anger, fear, hatred, jealousy, frustration and not offend or greatly threaten the human whom you are communicating with and not stimulate them into defensive intense emotional reactions. It is the ability to communicate these “negative” emotions where appropriate in a calm controlled way.  

EQ is also the ability to confidently communicate loving, caring, empathetic, praising, or inspiring emotions which motivate a human to do their best at achieving a goal(s).

Emotional intelligence can be used to do good and/or bad things and to some extent it is also the ability to manipulate other humans to achieve desired goal(s). That is why managers with high emotional intelligence are sought after in business and institutional enterprises.

Sociopaths are sometimes also good at manipulating gullible humans and they could also be said to have a high degree of EQ but they lack integrity so they are severely handicapped socially and they are usually never admired and respected by others with integrity.

Propagandists, dictators like Hitler, and politicians in general have high EQ and the more unscrupulous kind name call or stereotype and associate ideas and humans with angry, fearful, and hateful reactions motivating humans into action with these “negative” emotions. They optimize human motivation with both “positive” and “negative” emotions and are still idolized by brainwashed devoted followers. Hitler was an evil genius with a high EQ who motivated vast populations into obedient behaviors with anger, fear, hatred, pride, and love of the “fatherland”. He optimized the motivation in his Aryan hoards totally devoted to the conquest of the world.

Parents with high emotional intelligence usually have offspring with high emotional intelligence because it is learned from parental role models and personal experience with other good role models. Emotional intelligence can be acquired through extensive interactions and experience with a variety of humans throughout a lifetime and those who mostly learn from personal human experience and not much from parents or school role models are usually mature experienced middle aged and older humans who only acquire EQ late in life.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/