Tag Archives: marriage

UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1664!!!

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HUMAN SEX IN A NUTSHELL!!!

Why do humans have sex?

The two primary reason humans have sex is that it is usually pleasurable and some want to reproduce or have children. Yes, things like a dry vagina and sexually transmitted diseases such as herpes and chlamydia can cause painful sex and cause sterility in females so unprotected sex with strangers can be devastating on occasion. Some females or males who can’t reproduce the natural way sometimes have to undergo in vitro fertilization or wind up adopting children.

Some women don’t enjoy sex that much because there is inadequate clitoral stimulation before and during sex or the husband may suffer from premature ejaculation. In these unfortunate instances the wives usually have sex mostly because their husbands want it and it keeps peace in the family.

What is human sex?

For normal natural human sex usually there is some sexual foreplay followed by thrusts of the penis within the vagina. Then there is deviant sex or kinky sex where there is anal penetration by the penis, cock sucking, slapping, hitting, or pinching, licking of the labia, use of dildos, penis desensitizer salves, etc. Frankly this is usually done by humans who are getting a little bored with regular or standard copulation and foreplay which is just mostly kissing, hugging, stroking or petting, and endearing words.

Who has sex?

While normal sex is usually between a male and female there are deviant forms of sex which include same sex partners, threesomes, and the ultimate deviance or an orgy which is really group sex. There is also sex with children or pedophilia which is illegal in most countries and further sexual deviance such as bestiality which is sex with an animal. Some who don’t have a sexual partner or want a more attractive one pay for sex with prostitutes who are usually female but can also be male. Masterbation, pornography, and sex robots are for those who want sex without a live partner and usually when no live partner is available.

Where is sex done?

Sex is done almost anywhere except in public although this has been tried also. Usually sex is performed at home in bed but there are many other neverending places such as in the shower, on the floor, in the car, in a boat, in a plane, underwater, on the beach, in the woods, in orbit, etc.

When is sex performed?

Just before bedtime is probably when sex is done more often but frankly you can have sex any time of day or night.

How much sex does one have?

There are sexual addicts who have to have sex many times a day but for most humans once a high frequency of sex with a new partner runs its course sex is a very individual thing and it can range from once a day to once a week or month. In old age, unless you are using erectile dysfunction medication, the sex may be once a year or none at all.

How do humans have sex?

Some perform sexual acts alone or masturbate and there are even sex robots who are your partners when real humans are not available. You can have sex alone or with more than one partner broadly stated as group sex. There are physical sexual aids such as dildos and bondage items for the deviant. Then there are sex enhancements which are sometimes drugs designed to enhance the pleasure of an orgasm or sexual act. There are desensitizers for the penis designed to prolong the ejaculation point. There are even sex swings to make sex thrusts easier to do.

Why is birth control so important?

Most couples can no longer afford big families so birth control is essential. A condom is smart but even here sexually transmitted diseases are still transmitted with relative ease if sex is performed before marriage with a diseased partner. Vasectomies can sometimes help in birth control after having enough offspring but mistakes can be made without a form of birth control and pregnancy can still happen so and abortion may be necessary if the unwanted offspring is not given over to adoption. Morning after pills which abort a fertilized egg are also good emergency forms of birth control if you get seriously drunk and realize you are probably pregnant and don’t want a child.

The only unfortunate thing about birth control pills and uterine inserts is that they can impair fertility in the long duration so there is some danger in using artificial forms of birth control. I practiced coitus interruptus successfully without using a condom and succeeded in family planning of offspring.

Conclusion:

Sex is big business and all the promoted deviance and promiscuity is having a damaging effect on family life. Promiscuity can become a bad habit which marriage won’t cure. Traditional natural sex with natural foreplay such as stroking, petting, kissing, hugging, and endearing words is no longer considered adequate by many. Sexual standards have been set by society so high that many feel inadequate when performing sex primarily meant for successful reproduction in nature.

Nature considers prolonged sex an unnecessary luxury for reproduction so natural sex seldom lasts more than a couple of minutes. The result of unnatural pornographic artificially extended copulation has been an unhealthy unrealistic obsession with sex by too many which helps to handicap the social fabric and has a tendency to ruin family life with too many searching for the ideal sex partner. Too many males and females feel like inadequate sexual partners and fall for penis enlargement scams and quite a few females have silicon breast enlargement implants and cosmetic surgery.

Few understand that happy married life should often mean more than just great sex. If your sex is not that great adultery is almost never the answer. A financially responsible, trustworthy, loving and caring personality is often more important for a lasting marital relationship.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4900 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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MARRY WHEN YOU CAN AFFORD IT!!!

Historically in many cultures and currently in many parts of India, Pakistan, etc. there is something called a dowry which is some property in the form of goods, land, money, etc. which is usually given to the groom by the bride’s family upon marriage. You can argue all you want about the advantages and disadvantages of the dowry system but the fundamental fact is that marriage with offspring is an expensive proposition and the more financial resources that a couple has, the more probable it is that the family will have a secure and hopefully happy future.

Yes, a family with offspring is an expensive proposition so it is obvious why a dearth of enough money is often the leading cause of many divorces in the modern western world. In effect, a family can’t survive on love alone. All you need is love to marry is the popular dominant dangerous myth promoted in the west.

Historically in agrarian cultures where you have mostly farmers, offspring were an advantage because they could help with the farm work and make the family money and in old age families often stayed together so offspring were also old age insurance when the parents could no longer work on the farm.

Today most offspring are an incredibly large financial liability and cost an arm and a leg to educate and provide them with basic necessities. There are also many cases where upon graduation the offspring can’t find a decent paying job and wind up living with the parents for financial reasons.

So the best advice to give before marriage is make sure that you can afford it, especially if you want to have offspring. Yes, you can marry, use family planning or contraception and not have offspring until you can afford it. If you have offspring by accident and one spouse doesn’t want an abortion then a nasty divorce with unwanted legal financial responsibilities may be the result.

Now love and sex is a very powerful force of nature and it is entirely possible to run across a potential very compatible mate as young adults but neither party is making enough money or both are still educating themselves for a useful job or career. What do you do? Well you can live together or live separately being sexually faithful and use birth control and under no circumstances beget offspring. If a spouse gets pregnant then the smartest thing to do is to either get an abortion or give up the child to an adoption agency upon birth. Marriage should mean offspring and until you can afford offspring, don’t marry!

In the modern era usually both spouses are working and you may be wrongly concluding that you can afford offspring. Realistically child care, especially when they are young is a full time occupation and unless you can afford a nanny prepare for the high probability that one spouse will have to take much time off from the job to raise the young child. You will be surviving on one salary alone for a considerable period of time so make sure that you have enough money saved up or better yet wait until one spouse alone can afford to support the family with child.

If one spouse is a compulsive shopper or another accumulates large credit card debt then this is a danger sign that there is financial hardship ahead. If neither spouse is financially responsible then the relationship will probably crash and burn so avoid this circumstance as much as possible. If one spouse is financially responsible and in charge of all the money then the relationship may still be doable but not if both are financially irresponsible. If one is financially responsible and the other is not then prepare for a boatload of ongoing nasty arguments about money.

Yes, enough money and managing it wisely is very important in a marriage and if you fail on either count then most of your arguments will be about money and will almost definitely lead to eventual divorce.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4900 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1539!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4900 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1416!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4700 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1342!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4600 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1328!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4600 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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18 QUESTIONS YOU SHOULD ASK BEFORE MARRIAGE!!!

The two most important priorities in marriage are finances and offspring. It is very smart to make sure that you are on the same page on these two topics and have similar views on spending money or perhaps even saving some. Six questions you should ask are-

How much money should we both be making before having children?

Will we have enough money saved to take care of childcare when we have a newborn or will just one of us be working for a while?

About how many offspring would you like to raise or support?

If we won $10,000 how would you spend it?

How long do you think you will be working at your current job before you either get promoted or move on to a better job elsewhere?

What kind of work do you think you will be doing ten years from now?

 

4 important questions to ask relate to fidelity and promiscuity which is a very important subject to discuss because next to finances adultery is the second major cause for divorce in what is turning out to be a relatively hedonous western society with an overemphasis on sex and the pursuit of pleasure.

Beware, because old bad habits are hard to break or eliminate and if your future spouse has a history of great promiscuity then the chances are great that promiscuity will continue in the future too after marriage. Another important area to probe is a possible addiction to pornography and possible kinky sexual turn-ons which should be discussed prior to marriage to see whether they may handicap a consensual sexual relationship.

Are you monogamous?

What do you consider cheating in marriage?

About how many women or men have you slept with before you met me?

What turns you on sexually?

 

Housework can be a source for many arguments and you should determine whose responsibility it will be beforehand or whether you will be sharing the load and be assigned tasks to do such as cleaning, doing laundry, meal preparation, doing the dishes, taking out the garbage, yardwork, gardening, etc. Hopefully you won’t get into an argument about this is women’s work or this is man’s work because routine work is work no matter who does it.

Who will be responsible for the housework or will we be sharing it and how?

 

In-laws can be a major source for marital disagreement especially if some of them want to get involved in your marriage. Even worse is if they decide that they want to run it for you and are always critical of one spouse and take sides in marital disagreements. It is important to get a ball park idea on how important parents and in-laws will be in a marriage, especially if they are overly critical, combative, and don’t get along well with either spouse.

How involved will we get in supporting your parents in retirement years?

What role will your family play in our marriage?

What will you do if I get into a fight with your family?

 

What is also important is finding out how much of an introvert or extrovert your potential spouse is. You may find a very reclusive spouse unsettling and may start complaining about being ignored. On the other hand an extreme extrovert may spend too much time with other humans and once again you may begin to feel ignored. In either case, try to find out if you are going to have to deal with an extreme introvert or an extreme extrovert which may be disruptive to marital life.

How much space or time for yourself do you need?

What things do you enjoy doing by yourself?

 

Many of us just live from day to day without consciously planning or thinking about the future in any significant way. Some of us do have long duration goals so it is important to know how marriage will affect those goals.

What is your goal or purpose in life and how do you envision a partner fitting into it?

 

Finally, compatibility is often a function of similar likes and loves so it is important to find out in some detail what your potential spouse loves, hates, likes, and dislikes. If you find out that your morality is different or that you have radically different views on raising offspring then this can become a major source of arguments, disagreements, and unnecessary turmoil.

What do you love and hate the most and what do you like and dislike?

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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WAYS YOU CAN DIFFER WITH YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE!!!

Before marriage it is always important to make sure that your views on morality are the same or that you trust each other, don’t lie, and believe in a monogamous relationship during marriage. Other things which are very important are your spending habits and whether you want to raise children. Agreeing on these major points is necessary for a good compatible marriage but there are other areas where commonality is not so important and may even be an antidote for a boring marital life. If you differ in these 8 general areas then it is no great reason for being overly concerned and it can result in a rather interesting marriage and not a dull one.

Different hobbies and interests are acceptable and with time and the sharing of experiences you may even become more interested in those differing hobbies and interests yourself. I had a scientific background and a great interest in technology, tools, and science and my wife was an artist interested in crafts, knitting, sewing, and dress making which I considered at first to basically be a waste of time, not a money maker, and basically boring trivia.

Over the years I made aesthetic evaluations based primarily upon how close to reality and nature the artistic items were. I was surprised that with time my tastes and spouse’s tastes became more alike and I developed a good sense of color, texture, etc. and became much better at evaluating artistic expressions and was surprised how often she asked me for advice, I gladly offered it, and we often agreed.

Different political beliefs are possible because one spouse will basically think that government should get involved in helping out humans in need and the other spouse may basically feel that humans should behave more responsibly and government help should only be used as a last resort. Let’s face it, establishment Republicans and Democrats basically believe in growing government and passing laws often favoring the rich and special interests even though they may claim publically that they are representing and addressing the needs of minorities, the poor, and middle class.

Sexual turn-ons may slightly differ in spouses and some may seem rather unusual and kinky. With time and having sex the same basic way very often you may eventually try doing some of that kinky stuff as a change of pace and find out that it is not that bad after all and perhaps perfectly acceptable. After all, pleasing one another sexually can be important even though some of the desired variations may take a little effort and perhaps unpleasant sacrifice to fulfill.

It is not unusual for taste in movies, music, and TV to be different with women often liking love stories, family films, and romance a lot while men often prefer action films and sports related subject matter.

Different cultural, religious, and ethnic backgrounds can sometimes challenge a relationship if there is no common morality but often these differences can be accepted and even appreciated with the passage of time. Most conflicts which will arise can be ironed out if dogmatic relatives do not get too involved and start interfering in the marriage and trying to run it in one direction only or a direction which is opposed to the beliefs and practices of one spouse exclusively.

Of course if you are a dogmatic Muslim, Jehovah Witness, or Orthodox Jew then a different religion for a spouse will not work. Most religions are relatively flexible with liberal and conservative wings and a shared basic morality which is don’t lie, don’t steal, and don’t commit adultery if married.

Introvert and extrovert spouses can often make a go of it where the introverted spouse leaves most of the socializing to the other spouse and focuses mainly on family responsibilities and not social ones. I am an introvert without a close friend and let my wife take care of social connections. It has worked well this way for over 25 years. I am much more selective in the humans that I associate with than my wife who maintains minimal contact with about a hundred humans who have crossed her life but even here she only has a handful of a few good friends and her sister whom she stays in frequent contact with.

Cleanliness and orderliness can be an abnormal obsession with some humans who may incessantly nag if something is not clean or orderly. If the house isn’t cleaned on a regular basis, the dishes are not always washed, the laundry is not always done, etc. you can still lead a relatively clean and orderly life as long as you are not nagged about it on a regular basis.

A sense of adventure and desire to travel may differ in spouses and is usually a costly enterprise since traveling to distant places and meeting different humans is often time consuming and expensive. If you don’t like adventure then you can let your spouse do the adventuresome stuff alone or with other like minded humans.

As long as you are not going into debt financing the travel and adventure, it is not something which will ruin a marriage.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1066!!!

fotorcreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4100 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 982!!!

fotorcreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4000 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 911!!!

fotorcreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3900 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 839!!!

fotorcreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3800 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 551!!!

FotorCreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3500 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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20 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE STRONGER!!!

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Asking a spouse what they would like you to do more of or less of is a great way to start a constructive conversation. Discussing a just distribution of household chores is particularly vital in households with two working spouses.

There are 18 more helpful hints on what you can do to strengthen your marriage in this link.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bridal-guide/20-ways-to-make-your-marr_b_3279639.html

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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8 PRINCIPLES TO FOLLOW FOR A BETTER MARRIAGE!!!

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LEARN TO COMPROMISE AND COOPERATE:

Most important is to learn the art of compromise or cooperation. Sometimes this involves the sharing of household chores or responsibilities and offspring raising responsibilities. Sometimes it means mutually sacrificing some pleasant time for the benefit of the family unit.

An example of compromise or an exchange of mutual sacrifice may be as follows. The husband may ask the wife to sacrifice something and the wife may ask the husband to sacrifice something in return. For example, the husband may sacrifice some pleasant time with his buddies or watching sports to spend more time reading to, playing with, and helping offspring with homework. In exchange the wife may sacrifice some time and save money by not shopping for clothes and jewelry so often.

Sharing the household chores by both spouses is possible. Cooperating or assigning responsibility for a given household chore to one spouse is the common way of doing things so you don’t have to alternate responsibilities on a daily or weekly basis. In either case it can be seen as both spouses sacrificing their time and energy or fulfilling their responsibilities in a cooperative way.

The compromise is really an exchange of behavioral changes. “If you do this which is what I want then I will do what you want.” Priorities are changed in each compromise and your old priorities or what you spent most of your time with will change and make room for other priorities considered to now be more important.

Most compromises and cooperative behaviors initially may feel like sacrifices of pleasant old habits which are hard to change unless you have an optimistic courageous attitude that the change is for the better and the new modified habit or changed behavior is really going to be mutually beneficial.

Out with the old and in with the new viewed courageously and enthusiastically is the key to successful happy compromises. In effect, the time, energy, and money spent on an old habit will be modified and more time, energy, and money will be spent on the new now preferred habit.

Compromising can really be thought of as an ability to cooperate in a relationship so that both parties mutually benefit in some way.

TRY TO RESOLVE CONFLICTS WITH DISCUSSION RATHER THAN ARGUMENTS.

If there is a conflict or difference of opinion then you can seek to resolve it, ignore it, or learn to live with the differences of opinion or agree to disagree. How important the issue is should determine whether there is an urgent need to resolve it or if it is rather insignificant and can be ignored for some time without serious consequences. If the issue is not urgent and important then switching from argument mode to discussion mode is the preferred way to do it.

Arguments are confrontational with aggressive words and defensive verbal reactions which inflame emotions and make it harder to agree on something because it is a winner take all approach, or one side must win and the other side must lose. Sometimes the urgency is so great that immediate action is necessary and there is no time for smart discussion and you may have to give in to an emotional fit.

When a problem is not that urgent then there is time for discussion which may last a few minutes or hour and the problem may be resolved over the course of a few days or even few weeks. Sometimes a problem must be researched or a resolving opinion gotten from a friend so one time discussions are not always the rule but in fact rather infrequent because most serious problems need much time to resolve and this means resolution within a few days or few weeks.

Discussion is not easy to learn because one spouse may be very verbal and talk their head off while the other may be one with few words and not very skillful with give and take conversation.

Most arguments are about not doing something which should be done or about doing something bad which shouldn’t be done. Women are usually the ones trying to make you feel guilty about never doing something or always doing what they consider to be bad.

The key to conflict resolution is sometimes a question of doing something more frequently or not doing something as frequently since old habits die hard and are not easy to change overnight. Sometimes conflict resolution is promising to do something more often or not doing something so often since completely eliminating or radically changing the behavior is usually almost impossible to do realistically. Women who try to change their husband’s behavior overnight or with incessant nagging are doomed to fail so it is a good idea not to marry someone with too many behavioral drawbacks which need reforming.

FORGIVE AND TRY TO FORGET:

Confrontational attacking emotional arguments demonstrating verbal aggression can quickly degenerate into insults, name calling, put downs, and ridicule which hurt feelings and elicit vengeful defensive feelings. Being called stupid, crazy, worthless, scum bag, etc. really need an apology sooner or later so forgiving one for these transgressions is often vital to maintaining respect or trust in a relationship.

If it is not an unforgiveable moral transgression such as lying or adultery the behavior can usually be forgiven but trying to forget passionate insults, name calling, put downs, and ridicule is very hard to do realistically so try not to argue if arguing brings out the worst in you. Sometimes tone of voice is very important and there are sometimes nice ways to ridicule and put someone down without stirring up permanent vengeful feelings.

Crappy arguing should sometimes be forgiven with more than just an apology. A promise to do something nice may be the best solution to severely offending a spouse. Kiss and makeup are vital to a lasting marital relationship.

BE TRUTHFUL AND NOT VERY HURTFUL:

Never be afraid to reveal your true likes and dislikes to a spouse in a calm manner but be cautious not to utter something in intense emotional anger which you wish you could take back later but can’t once it leaves your mouth. An honest or truthful relationship will maintain an atmosphere of trust and respect so vital to a lasting relationship. A spouse will often forget what you did wrong given enough time but harsh words said in anger can leave permanent emotional scars which can last a lifetime.

STAY TRUE TO YOUR CORE MORAL VALUES:

Despite differences in personality and viewpoints it is important to maintain your core values such as integrity, dependability, promise fulfillment, loyalty, faithfulness, and friendliness. You can offend once in a while, make mistakes occasionally, and do some bad things along the way but you should never lie or commit adultery which are the most important core moral values.

PLAY BY THE RULES:

Each household has rules which are basically household responsibilities to be carried out by each spouse. Sharing in household responsibilities and/or a division of work or household responsibilities is the way that responsibilities are usually divided up. In no situation should one radically feel that they are doing all the work or have all the responsibilities and the other partner has none or very little.

SUPPORT INDIVIDUAL INTERESTS:

There is nothing as nice as having shared interests such as offspring to maintain a bonding relationship in marriage but there are marriages where each spouse may have very important interests outside the family and these should be encouraged as much as possible.

Encouraging the growth of outside interests makes for an interesting relationship which should never get boring since there is always something new to discuss which one spouse has not experienced. Very dependent interactive relationships can last a long time but independent activity can lead to more fulfilling lives for both spouses and a great pride in personal accomplishment too.

Two working spouses is increasingly becoming the norm for financial reasons alone and even though there is a risk that career priorities may lead to a geographical breakup of a relationship the ultimate resolution of the potential problem may be to relocate geographically to the area where one spouse will be making the largest income.

BE FINANCIALLY RESPONSIBLE:

One of the major reasons for divorce is financial instability which is caused by having offspring too soon or spending too much money during marriage, getting into overwhelming debt, and having to declare both financial and marital bankruptcy.

Budgeting money is the key to not overspending on big cars, big houses, many clothes, too much eating out and expensive vacations.

With the technological revolution job security is no longer a guarantee for a lifetime so continual selfeducation or learning new useful skills for a job are becoming increasingly vital to stay financially afloat.

Financial recklessness or irresponsibility will make a bad relationship worse and terminal and a good relationship is not really possible in the real world.  If you can’t control your money then you will not be able to control your relationship successfully.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 350!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 142!!!

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THE TRUTH ABOUT DALLIANCE+

Dalliance-Typeface

Dalliance: n. a relatively brief casual romantic and/or sexual relationship

More and more modern humans are guilty of dalliance or taking a rather casual view of romantic and/or sexual relationships much to the dismay of women in marital relationships who feel threatened by the deluge of noncommittal relationships increasingly common in society. 

 

I am a great advocate of fidelity in marriage and caution humans who are guilty of too much dalliance, who create a very bad habit for themselves, and who pay for it later in life with unsuccessful marriages which often end in divorce and much suffering and misery due to adultery.

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THE TRUTH ABOUT DIVORCE*

download

Divorce: v. to legally end a marriage if the husband and/or wife desires to or legally ending marital duties for one or more wives but not 100% of the wives in a polygamous relationship and/or legally ending marital duties for the husband and all the wives if the husband desires it

This is a worldwide definition for divorce which includes polygamous marriages in Arab countries too. If a wife in a polygamous relationship wants a divorce then the husband should be rich enough or have enough money in a government escrow account to pay alimony support of the wife and offspring until the offspring reach adulthood when the alimony payments would end or be severely reduced. With this kind of a rule the divorced wives and offspring of a polygamous relationship would not become a welfare burden upon the state but a financial burden on the exhusband.

If polygamy is ever legalized in western countries then it should be strictly limited to very wealthy men who could afford alimony payments to the wives and offspring after a divorce so they don’t become a financial welfare burden upon the nation to be supported by taxpayer’s money.

If polygamy is ever legalized in the United States then there should be a government escrow account set up to take care of the expenses of a wife with offspring after divorce so taxpayers don’t have to spend their money supporting the polygamous divorced wives with offspring. That is true marital justice for the polygamous family and the nation in which they live.

Some humans argue that love is the most important thing in a marriage and others argue that money is the most important thing in a marriage. The truth is that BOTH love and money is of primary importance in a marriage and when the love ends there should be enough money left over to support the love offspring and ex wives until the offspring reach adulthood. The family unit with offspring should be a responsible independent financial unit and not an irresponsible financial unit dependent on the taxpayers for support.

Yes, there is the possibility that both husband and wife become handicapped, unemployed and destitute, dependent on government welfare for themselves and their offspring and that is an emergency situation which the government must help with financial support as a moral obligation.

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THE TRUTH ABOUT PROPOSAL+

Proposal

Proposal: n. a proposition which is frequently an offer of marriage presented for acceptance or rejection

A proposal is really a proposition and its most common form is an offer of marriage to be accepted or rejected.

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14 UPDATED UNIVERSAL CONDITIONAL HUMAN RIGHTS!!!

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Freedom of moral speech under a universal secular morality

 

Freedom to assemble as long as it is not association with an active criminal human and/or group of humans

 

Freedom to function within what the law communicates and undocumented behavior is permitted as long as there is not a high probability that the behavior will result in government dependency or large cost to the government.

 

Right to own property as long as it is not wilderness property

 

Right to make non fraudulent legal contracts with a human and/or group of humans

 

Right to make moral promises to humans as long as they don’t violate the moral secular code

 

Right to live with anyone as long as they are not an active criminal

 

Right to sue the government if you are greatly injured physically and/or financially by the unjust law

 

Right to vote for government officials but government dependent or the destitute and also unemployed will have no vote or a percentage of a vote while they are destitute and unemployed.

 

Right to be defended legally at government cost if you can’t afford legal and/or lawyer protection but if you are found guilty of the accusation of wrongdoing then it will become a lifetime liability to be repaid in installments back to the government depending on your earning potential during the course of a lifetime.

 

Right to marry and bear offspring if there is a large probability that you will be able to mutually support the offspring financially in the near future.

If you are totally dependent on the government or were married in the past with no offspring then your offspring will be limited to one. If you become totally government dependent with more than one offspring then you will be limited to that number and no more offspring.

 

Right to polygamy for multimillionaires and billionaires who set up a government escrow account large enough to take care of a divorced wife and offspring for a lifetime.

 

Right to free useful technological and science education via the internet if you are destitute and unemployed and of adult age, no matter what the age, male or female.

 

Right to equal pay for equal work for men and women.

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THE TRUTH ABOUT STD’S+

herpes

STD: n. sexually transmitted disease

Promiscuity: n. a human having transient sexual relationships with many different humans

MYTH: YOU CAN HAVE SAFE SEX WITH CONDOMS.

In the United States, more people have genital herpes than all other sexually transmitted infections combined -– 50 million people in total. If there are 6 humans that you know then chances are great that one promiscuous one has herpes! There are more mind-boggling statistics but I leave you to research this further on the web.

Having many transient relationships with many different humans not only develops a bad habit but makes faithfulness with one partner much less probable in the future which frequently results in adultery and failed marriages. Add to this the inevitable danger of contracting an STD virus which can make your sex life a living annoying, painful, and even deadly process.

CONDOMS ARE NOT EFFECTIVE against herpes simplex virus and human papilloma virus. Herpes causes annoying pain and the papilloma virus can cause cancer.

Experts say being exposed to at least one STD virus is virtually inevitable. Viral STDs make up the modern “4-H club.” Herpes simplex virus (HSV), human papilloma virus (HPV), hepatitis (B and C), and HIV are the most common STDs, causing pain, cancer, liver disease and AIDS, respectively.

Here is a link to bacterial sexually transmitted diseases which you should also be aware of and oral sex can transmit them:

http://www.sexualityandu.ca/stis-stds/types-of-stis-stds/bacterial-stis-stds

Bacterial STDs like gonorrhea, chlamydia and syphilis, are relatively easy to cure with antibiotics if detected and treated early. Genitalherpes, genital warts, Hepatitis B and HIV are viral infections that cannot be cured, but the symptoms can be treated and managed but are a pain in the butt if you have them and you carry the stigma of being sexually diseased for the rest of your life!!!!!!

A hedonistic lifestyle has its cost in bad relationship problems, a bad reputation, and inevitable health problems. It is frankly not worth the transient pleasure which it gives and forgetting to use a condom or birth control pill can result in an unwanted pregnancy and possible abortion.

If you are smart then you will limit as much as possible sexual relationships with humans whom you consider to be very good friends and good potential mates and not have any sexual relationships with other casual acquaintances.

In this era of rampant promiscuity I personally would ask for an STD medical checkup with anyone that I decided to have sex with. That is a cold hard truth that I would live with since oral sex can transmit sexual diseases and virginity is no longer a guarantee of a disease free mate.

 

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9 IMPORTANT MYTHS ABOUT HAPPY COUPLES!!!

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If you are both honest, sincere, dependable, communicative, affectionate, moral, with some common goals then you can potentially have a happy relationship despite relatively independent lifestyles, ideological differences in politics, and differing interests. The differences make for an interesting relationship and if you respect one another, get enough sex, and responsibly rear offspring then you can still have a relatively happy long duration relationship.

The 9 myths are because very few things in a relationship are absolute rules with always, all, or nothing but are ones with some if not many exceptions.

Happy couples can see things through each other’s eyes:

Happy couples always have a lot of romance:

Happy couples can resolve all their disagreements:

Happy couples need to have common interests:

Happy couples don’t fight:

Happy couples vent all their feeling to each other:

Being a happy couple has nothing to do with sex:

Happy couples are always in sync sexually:

Happy couples know the right and wrong way to make their relationships great: 

 

For detailed explanations of the 9 important absolute myths about happy couples Dr. Phil reveals the truth in the following link:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/24/biggest-myths-about-happy-couples_n_5875796.html

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AN OVERVIEW OF WHAT MARRIAGE IS AND ISN’T!!!

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Marriage should be sharing the good and the bad times but sometimes you will have to give in, sometimes you will get your way, sometimes you will have to be controlling, sometimes you will argue instead of compromise, and sometimes problems or irritations will remain unsolved for long periods of time. Being supported emotionally and financially in the good times is easy but being supported emotionally and financially in the bad times is evidence that the marriage can last.

You also have to share the workload and if one brings home most of the money then the other will have to take over most of the workload of keeping the house in order and spending more time with the offspring. Where both spouses work then housework and offspring rearing will have to be a shared responsibility. Marriage is responsible hard work and working out a just share of the responsibility will frequently determine to a large extent the success and happiness in the marriage. The extreme of I have to do everything and you do nothing is not a viable option.

Frequently one member is more domineering or is better at making decisions and solving problems than the other or you may have strengths in one area such as finance and weaknesses in another area such as offspring rearing. Letting a spouse dominate at something which they are good at should be encouraged.

Marriage is trying to balance things or coordinating effort to reach common  goals but it is also some independent behavior or pursuing your personal interests and getting support for those efforts from your spouse. Working together and sharing a business is rare and what makes interesting conversation possible is pursuing some independent goals, activities, or jobs and sharing those exploits with each other.

You are alike in many ways but also different in many ways and the dynamic interplay of these characteristics can make or break a relationship. If your communication skills are good, you are honest with each other and trust one another, and are good at sharing the load of responsibility then you will have a much more pleasant relationship than if you don’t honestly communicate and act irresponsibly.

A good marriage is a relatively safe intimate haven from a tumultuous sometimes crazy world but a stagnant marriage can also be quite boring so developing new or better interests, finding better jobs, and focusing on good long duration goals will help make the journey together more interesting and pleasantly challenging.

Bad times can really test a marriage and if you get through many of them successfully then your confidence that you will not be abandoned will be greater and you will know that you may have a lasting secure relationship and a truly best friend when times are tough.

When the offspring are leading independent lives and sex has ended then your major reasons for staying married may be challenged and unless you have maintained mutual respect and still enjoy being together and sharing your daily events with each other which have nothing to do with offspring, then a potential breakup is possible because you may find that you no longer have anything in common to enjoy.

Kindness, forgiveness, apologizing were appropriate, empathy, honesty, sincerity, dependability, competence, confidence, loyalty, optimism, caring, a common morality, mutual respect, mutual and independent goals, responsibility, good humor, and commitment are just some of the major characteristics which can make for a happy long duration marriage.

As long as you don’t lie to each other, are not adulterous, and are financially stable then you can have some personality drawbacks which won’t necessarily end a trusting relationship which is the bond which ultimately can keep you together despite your weaknesses and differences.

Few of us have loyal true friends and a spouse can be that one true loyal friend so you don’t have to live life as a loner without dependable human support or relationships. When you have something to bitch about then you will have a confidential trusting concerned listener to support you emotionally if not in other ways and you will not have to stew in your troubles alone. Confidentially confessing your troubles to someone is frequently therapeutic and lessens the misery.

Living alone with or without friends is an option which you should not feel bad about because you can spend most of your life pleasing yourself. Being married is more challenging and you can’t always please yourself but it can also be more rewarding in the long duration and your relationship skills with humans can improve if you learn from and master the marital relationship.

Many modern men are not good conversationalists, aren’t very caring, have been brainwashed with much promiscuous behavior, and have led rather irresponsible selfish indulgent lives as offspring,  and have bad jobs which don’t make them good potential husbands. If added to these basic facts a male comes from a dysfunctional family then the odds that a marriage will end in divorce are rather high and marriage should usually not be attempted.

Modern life no longer stresses important family values so your best bet is a husband who comes from a family which still values family values and a man who still gets along well with his family members. There are no guarantees in life that a good responsible childhood will mean a good responsible spouse but a messed up, carefree, or abused childhood and bad job are primary causes of messed up marriages and divorce.

Historically a husband who is a good provider, is moral, and has integrity was a great catch. Modern society’s values have changed and divorce has skyrocketed because the same basic historical values still apply to happy long duration modern marriages. Many modern women are good providers but unfortunately most men have not been taught to adjust to the new realities and few without the help of a nanny can do most of the young child rearing responsibilities well by themselves. Two working spouses with meager incomes and offspring is a recipe for disaster in the modern world.

In the modern world you can live together on meager incomes but whatever you do don’t get married, especially if that means offspring in your lives. Living together is an option while you are struggling to survive financially but once financial security is reached and you still don’t marry then that probably means that one significant other is hoping for a better partner to come along.

Marriage is a duty or responsibility to spouse and offspring and if you are not very responsible with your own life then don’t marry and ruin someone else’s life!

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AN OVERVIEW OF WHAT MARRIAGE IS AND ISN’T!!!

the-trouble-with-modern-marriage

The article by Margaret Rutherford is informative but falls short in describing marriage as being pretty simple and not rocket science. Kindness, Respect, Loyalty is not all that is needed. A prerequisite is a good enough salary to support a family and commonly shared morals which means not lying, stealing, or being adulterous. Loyalty to an immoral, undependable, and abusive poor communicator is sheer stupidity and the relationship will never last long because you can’t respect such a human.

If you can’t afford a family financially then don’t get married until you can, otherwise you will have to become dependent on your parent’s handouts or welfare and pregnancy will probably destroy whatever tenuous relationship you have together.

I also disagree that marriage is getting teary-eyed together which coming from a female writer is very biased personal thinking. I have never been teary-eyed together with my wife and neither have millions of other males.

Here is a link to the article:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-margaret-rutherford/marriage-lessons_b_5886790.html?ir=Fifty&utm_campaign=093014&utm_medium=email&utm_source=Alert-fifty&utm_content=Title

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8 THINGS WHICH SHOULD MAKE PARTNERSHIPS OR MARRIAGES WORK BETTER!!!

partnership

Relatively unimportant misunderstandings are bound to happen in partnerships and they should frequently be for a relatively short duration. Forgive and forget the transient misunderstandings and move on to more important concerns.

You should trust your partner and if you reach a point where trust is no longer possible then consider breaking off the partnership. Being honest, sincere, dependable, competent, and friendly is vital if a relationship is to last for a long duration. If lying and irresponsibility starts to interfere with the relationship then it won’t last long if not corrected in time so that trustworthiness can continue. Trust is the vital bond which ensures a lasting relationship and without it you really don’t have a good relationship.

Learn the art of compromising and not fighting for win or lose situations all the time. Learn to give a little and get a little or give much and get much of what you really want. There will also be times when you give much and get little or get much and give little all depending on the circumstances. If you give much in one circumstance and get little maybe the next time around you will be able to get much and give only a little. If you want a female spouse to work to help much with the income then give much and learn to do the dishes, prepare a meal, do the laundry, vacuum the carpet, and spend more time with offspring.

Don’t be afraid to pursue different interests in a partnership which may separate you time wise to some extent. When you reunite then you will have many more interesting things to share and talk about and the relationship will not become that boring. Support your partner in his or her interests so you can mutually benefit from the new job or new experiences.

Don’t be afraid to reveal your weaknesses to your partner because they also have some and you should get more caring support in the areas where you are not that strong if your partner is capable of expressing empathy. If your partner has a weakness then try to help or do things to lessen the impact of that weakness.

Sometimes there are problems which are unfixable or bad childhood experiences which have made your personality less than perfect. You may be stuck with your problems and the best thing to do is to just learn to live with the problems or find ways to work around them and lessen their handicapping effects. With time you can hope to improve the situation but must realize that some problems and personality traits will probably not go away permanently.

Fights or severe arguments may erupt once in a while where there is no clear winner or loser. Don’t suffer through lasting resentment but learn to quickly forgive and forget to some extent. No relationship will last if resentment lasts long and the fight is recurrently brought up in future confrontations which should be discussions and compromises instead as much as possible.

Don’t expect your partner to read your mind or always tune in to your true emotional mood. Clearly tell what you want your partner to do and tell them if you are upset about something. If you are exhausted or angry at someone and want emotional support then tell your partner that you are exhausted or angry at someone or had a terrible day. Communicate your problems and feelings in words so that your partner does not misunderstand your true state of mind. You may get more consideration and empathy by being open and up front with your emotional and physical circumstances.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kj_-RGREIkw

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9 TRUE REASONS WHY MEN DO AND FREQUENTLY SHOULD GET MARRIED!!!

marriage-fingers-hooked

Marriage is the best way to give offspring a stable, secure, relationship learning environment.

Marriage is a legal document which does not condone adultery and gives a man a sense of pride, rightful possession, and responsibility to spouse and offspring.

Marriage is a commitment during the good and bad times and theoretically guarantees more than a fair weather friendship. It is a source of emotional and sometimes financial support in time of need during a hoped for lifetime.

Sharing the good and bad times makes the good times better and the bad not so bad or traumatic. Managing life as a committed team is frequently more satisfying.

A man would like to improve upon the family he never had or had but with needed improvements so that he can perhaps someday be proud of his offspring legacy.

He loves the idea of committing to someone who accepts and supports him with all his weaknesses or faults.

Safe and reliable sex is something which he enjoys.

He has probably fallen in love with a woman’s looks and personality and the rare man has also fallen in love with the woman’s smarts.

He can financially support a family or support a nanny for a working wife. Of all the reasons to get married this is the most important one which should almost always come first.

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GETTING MARRIED? DISCUSS THESE 15 IMPORTANT THINGS!!!

 

preparing-marriage

Before getting married you should ask these 15 questions and avoid unnecessary conflict and misunderstandings later in marriage. There is nothing better than thoroughly understanding WHAT YOU WANT and WHEN YOU WANT IT in a marriage and mutually agreeing to it.

Here is an excellent article by Wendy Atterberry-

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/wendy-atterberry/15-things-every-couple-mu_b_5638629.html

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ARE YOU MARRIAGE MATERIAL OR A ONE NIGHT STAND???

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If you have a poor job, bad personality, a bad education, and bad communication skills then chances are you are a one night stand.

You can improve your job and improve your education with much personal invested time, effort, and achievement. If you have a bad personality or bad communication skills and are a young adult then the chances that you will change this for the better are rather small and improbable because bad social habits are very hard to change in adulthood.

If you are honest, sincere, dependable, trustworthy, somewhat caring, and competent with a good paying job then chances are you are marriage material if you do not have a history of being promiscuous or unfaithful.

If your looks, personality, communication skills, education, and dynamic goal oriented lifestyle are not enough to attract someone on more than a handful of dates without sex then you should seriously consider improving your non sexual characteristics which are the bonds which will keep a relationship going in the long duration.

Try to use sex as the primary attractant and you will fail miserably in a close long duration trusting relationship. Even serious marriage minded males do not want a promiscuous liberated female or one who gives sex freely with no strings attached.

Online dating and most dating can be a very frustrating and disappointing in an increasingly promiscuous hedonistic culture. Many are victimized by social brainwashing which encourages irresponsible behavior or the live for today party mentality. Good marriage material in western cultures is becoming increasingly rare so don’t be too disappointed if you aren’t finding any good marriage material these days who can commit for a long duration responsibly.

CONCLUSION:

Be honest, sincere, dependable, trustworthy, competent, somewhat caring, and faithful and try to associate with humans who also have those fundamental important characteristics since most will have similar minded friends. In effect, try to associate with humans who are also marriage material. If you have surrounded yourself with humans who are one night stands then don’t be too surprised if you have become or are one of them!!!!!!

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6 SIGNS OF A SOMEWHAT RARE IDEAL MARITAL RELATIONSHIP!!!

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The relationship is emotionally very compatible and each partner pays close attention to one another and gives tender and/or strong emotional support when needed for both good events and bad ones in each other’s lives.

You have an impulsive feeling that you have found or are living with a special human in your life.

Not only sexually but just holding hands long into the relationship still gives a considerable amount of pleasure so the good chemistry is obvious.

You have been comfortable since day one with your partner and have not been afraid to reveal your vulnerabilities and share your weaknesses with your partner. Your inner world of needs and emotions is shared without fear of rejection or insecure feelings.

You have difficult challenges in life and problems to solve but you both courageously confront them head on as a team.

You have differing opinions on things but your moral foundation is shared and you are basically honest, sincere, dependable, trustworthy, faithful, and caring with each other so your basic important values are never challenged.

CONCLUSION:

The above relationship is rather rare because most males are less in touch with their emotional feelings and that of their spouses and exhibit less caring behaviors than most women. Many men are emotional illiterates and seldom detect emotional nuances. If your husband is honest, sincere, dependable, faithful, and basically trustworthy then this is usually the best which you can expect or hope for from a marital relationship. Tenderness, fondness, an abundance of caring, and responsiveness to subtle emotional cues is frequently not his forte.

Expecting your husband to sense that you had a bad day or feel unhappy from your tone of voice or facial expression is frequently asking too much. Telling him outright about your bad day and unhappiness is the smartest thing to do if you want to make sure that he knows that you have had a bad day or that you are unhappy about something.

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MEN’S OVERALL HAPPINESS SEEMS JUST AS IMPORTANT IF NOT MORE SO THAN WOMEN’S IN A MARRIAGE!!!

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Here is an updated and increasingly valuable article about spouse relationships. The only point that I disagree with is that you have to create a mythology or tell stories about the way that you first met and this is totally unnecessary for a happy long duration marriage.

Also no marriage is the ideal 50/50 relationship and the reality is that many are out of balance slightly with 30/70 relationships also being functional or workable ones because one partner may contribute more to the marriage in more ways than the other spouse does.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/13/how-to-have-a-happy-marriage_n_5273946.html?utm_hp_ref=fifty&ir=Fifty

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THE TRUTH ABOUT SEX

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In nature species have sex because they want to reproduce healthy specimens or offspring for the next generation. It is only dysfunctional western cultural propaganda and the big business sex industry which promotes the idea that sex can be for pleasure only and reproduction need not enter the picture in a sexual union.

The result is a promiscuous society with the breakdown of the family unit as the source for healthy mental and physical offspring. Yes, the world is overpopulated with humans and the last thing that we need is broods of offspring for every family unit but promiscuity is endangering the future mental and physical health of the family unit and destroying the sense of financial and caring responsibility which parents should have for their offspring.

If current promiscuity trends continue I see armies of disillusioned single women with offspring dependent on government as the male provider or dependent on alimony checks or struggling to support offspring on a female salary which statistically is less than male salaries.

If males can get sex for free or relatively easily then what is the incentive to make a financial and moral commitment to a female which they may not be that crazy about in the first place? Our cultural norms for desirable female beauty are so high that many males do not want to settle for much less than the ideal and an average looker frequently has little appeal as a marital partner.

Promiscuity increases the probability of immoral adultery in marriage and adultery is the second leading cause of divorce after financial mismanagement or failure which is the primary reason for divorce.

Finally, men frequently like sex more than women and women instinctively would like to have sex with someone who has the potential to be a good responsible father. With so many irresponsible financially challenged males it is no wonder that women are experiencing more than average dating fiascoes and are disillusioned by many of the roaming sexually predatory males.

Sex is important in life but what really matters is having a loving relationship with your partner. Learn to become a love expert by reading my evergreen truth book LOVEALL and improve your relationships with the opposite sex or any sex for that matter.

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

 

 

7 IMPORTANT REASONS TO MARRY

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You think that you have found someone  

who shares your moral values,

who supports your goals and activities in life, 

who has goals and activities in life which you approve of,

whom you like physically and sexually,

whom you can trust with intimate knowledge of your strengths and weaknesses.

You can afford to support a family if you decide to have one.

You want a best friend in life of the opposite sex with which you can share an honest, sincere, and reliable relationship. 

CONCLUSION:

Financial failure and adultery are the two leading causes of divorce. If you have a good paying job and are not promiscuous and ready to settle down with one partner in life then your married life has the potential to be successful. You can marry without all the 7 important reasons for marrying but your success rate will be less.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, approximately 600 so far, and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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THE TRUTH ABOUT MARRIAGE

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If you would like to be married or are married here are 15 links on marriage which will tell you what is important about marriage. Scan these blogs to see what might interest you or skip to the end and briefly read about the truth about marriage in a nutshell.

https://uldissprogis.com/2013/01/07/14-ways-to-help-ruin-a-marriage/

https://uldissprogis.com/2014/01/10/7-acceptable-imperfections-in-a-healthy-marriage/

https://uldissprogis.com/2013/12/22/20-ways-to-make-a-good-marriage-better/

https://uldissprogis.com/2013/12/16/8-marriage-regrets-you-should-learn-to-avoid/

https://uldissprogis.com/2013/12/05/7-things-which-can-increase-the-duration-of-your-marriage/

https://uldissprogis.com/2013/10/30/11-important-things-which-will-help-a-marriage-to-last/

https://uldissprogis.com/2013/09/21/4-most-important-things-in-a-long-duration-or-lasting-marriage/

https://uldissprogis.com/2013/09/01/10-common-reasons-humans-in-bad-marriages-dont-divorce/

https://uldissprogis.com/2013/11/05/6-important-relationship-bad-habits-in-a-marriage/

https://uldissprogis.com/2013/11/01/8-financial-or-money-questions-which-you-should-ask-before-marriage/

https://uldissprogis.com/2013/07/22/5-serious-topics-to-discuss-thoroughly-before-marriage/

https://uldissprogis.com/2013/04/11/mostly-stupid-advice-given-by-an-amateur-marriage-counselor/

https://uldissprogis.com/2013/03/26/how-to-end-a-marriage-speedily-intentionally-or-unintentionally/

https://uldissprogis.com/2013/02/16/10-money-mistakes-which-can-threaten-a-marriage/

https://uldissprogis.com/2013/02/06/what-are-the-4-most-important-priorities-in-a-marriage-or-a-relationship-with-the-opposite-sex/

THE TRUTH ABOUT MARRIAGE

Marriage is a serious financial and moral responsibility to spouse and offspring and the financial burden and responsibility for raising offspring should not become a government function enforced by hundreds of laws.

If you can’t afford marriage then you should not be married but remain single.

The two leading causes of divorce are financial mismanagement or absence of adequate finances and adultery. Families have a high probability of breaking up if financial resources are scarce and society promotes hedonistic promiscuous lifestyles for most of its citizens.

Love and sexual attraction alone are not enough for a successful happy responsible marriage. The sooner modern society begins to recognize this fundamental truth and pass laws which demand financial responsibility first before marriage the sooner will the world escape the avalanche of failed marriages and dependent offspring which taxpayers or government welfare is forced to support.

Historically and in some parts of the world a dowry or enough money was mandatory before marriage. This is just an acknowledgement of the fact that money was and still is the number one priority for a successful marriage.

Human nature and a just functioning society has not changed much since those days and financial resources should once again be the primary determining factor in government sanctioned marriages.

Yes, you can still live together with the one that you love and are sexually attracted to but if you have half a brain you will put off marriage and offspring until you are financially solvent.

Of course there will be humanitarians who may object to the genocide of poor humans but reality demands that unwed mothers on welfare be limited to one or two offspring and not be incentivized to have a brood all at tax payer’s expense. If you have more than two offspring on welfare then you should be forced to give up additional offspring for adoption. Not passing such limitations will create a marriageless society with most women on welfare assistance and government playing the role of daddy the provider.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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POLYGAMY FOR THE RICHEST MALES SHOULD BE INSTITUTIONALIZED!

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THIS ARTICLE MAY BE CENSORED BY SOCIETY AND IT IS NOT FOR THE WEAK MINDED OR THE EMOTIONALLY INDOCTRINATED.

In nature successful males reproduce more offspring and it is time for society to imitate nature and transition to rewarding males with health, smarts, and great wealth to have polygamous relationships but keep monogamous relationships for everyone else. Multimillionaires and billionaires should be permitted to have polygamous marriages as long as an escrow amount of about 5 million dollars is set aside to take care of females with offspring who may want and get a divorce.

An excellent wealthy provider may not be the healthiest or smartest human specimen but it is a just non coercive way of rewarding monetary success. Eventually society may pass laws legalizing polygamy for the smartest males also but if they have many offspring and divorce then society will have to bear the burden of supporting their abandoned offspring financially and many in society may object to this.

Coalition males in lion prides offer potential new marital relationships among the most wealthy human males in society. It is entirely conceivable that two or more very wealthy male polygamous human units could join to become one powerful domineering unit in human society which rules over specialty professions and/or businesses.

Money is power in the present corrupt world but even more powerful and genetically desirable would be human genetic coalitions which would be more powerful than money which should never be priority number one in society!!!

Financial success with polygamy or being an excellent provider should be encouraged and rewarded by society and is a way of motivating other males to become good providers too. This is a motivation sadly lacking in this promiscuous western culture.

Am I for a genetic aristocracy? Partially yes, but I also believe that society should have free technological education at any age for the destitute and also unemployed who are willing to put in the time, effort, and achieve enough knowledge to be able to join the workforce again because there are very many healthy and smart individuals who are very poor financially and should be able to improve their status in society in a just way.

Anyone no matter how poor financially should have the right show that they too are potential new material for a genetic aristocracy though time, effort, ability, and achievement.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE.

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http://grantatkinsonphotography.blogspot.com/2012/03/male-lion-coalitions-more-power-than.html

12 THINGS MANY DIVORCED MEN HAVE IN COMMON

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About 70% are surprised their wives filed for divorce not thinking that threats of divorce were serious during marriage.

Many use too much technology or computers and cell phones and even at bedtime.

Many are too dedicated to job and not enough to family or spouse.

Many stopped wining and dining the spouse after marriage.

Many developed new interests which the spouse did not participate in.

Many spent much money on boy toys and may have been financially irresponsible.

Many lacked words of praise from their wives about being attractive and/or competent.

Many had difficulty communicating their emotions during marriage.

Many feel that they will never put up with sexual denial which frequently occurred when the marriage started to seriously deteriorate.

Many were adulterous and sometimes because they were promiscuous before marriage and the bad habit continued after marriage.

There wasn’t an honest, sincere, reliable or trustworthy relationship during marriage.

Many have some affectionate feelings for the ex-wife even though it was a tumultuous and unsatisfying marital relationship.

CONCLUSION:

Financial mismanagement or poor finances, adultery, and not enough interaction and communication or dysfunctional interaction and communication are the three major causes of divorce.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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8 TRUTHS TO COUNTERACT WRONG ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT DIVORCE

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Marriage is a mutual decision but divorce may be an individual choice because of an inability to live with adultery or with irresponsible financial management.

Lasting adversarial hatred after a divorce may not always exist but in fact some are rather amicable collaborative divorces where both still assume responsibility for rearing the offspring to some extent and communications are civil.

Divorce may seem like the easy way out but it is sometimes a necessary way out of an overly aggressive or combative relationship which can seriously damage the mental wellbeing of the offspring.  No one should be expected to live harmoniously in an adulterous or untrustworthy relationship so divorce may be the necessary and not necessarily the easy way out.

Divorce need not mess up your offspring’s life if you have no severe addiction problems with alcohol or drugs and you don’t have a dysfunctional personality in your relationships with other humans.

If you are divorced it need not have been totally your fault because half of all marriages end in divorce where about a third are the husband’s fault, a third the wife’s fault, and about a third are both faults. These aren’t accurate statistics but there are definitely a significant number of women who would be able to make a marriage work with the right faithful man with a good job after a single divorce.

If you are young and divorce after a few years then you can be considered to be young and stupid and not a good candidate for another marriage. If you divorce after 10 or 15 years in a marriage then you may still be considered good marriage material but the more offspring that you have the greater a liability you become in the next marriage.

You can find love more than once in a lifetime so never give up in looking for a potential new prospect unless you feel unworthy of a marital relationship due to being much less than attractive and with a dysfunctional personality which is unable to develop trusting reliable relationships with another human. If you are not honest, sincere, and reliable then the odds of a successful marriage are stacked against you no matter who you marry next.

The three most important ingredients in a marriage are financial security, a non- promiscuous non adulterous past, and a trustworthy reliable personality. If you are a divorcee and your next marriage does not have these fundamental building blocks to a successful marriage then don’t marry again!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them.

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7 ACCEPTABLE IMPERFECTIONS IN A HEALTHY MARRIAGE

Couple enjoys a hot cup of coffee in the kitchen

You may fight or argue occasionally but the less frequent the arguing the better the marriage will proceed because you don’t have any serious problems with money management, have a trusting relationship, and don’t have bad addictive habits and friends.

You may not have all the same interests but you have enough common ground  so that you still do enough things together to make the marriage worthwhile.

Your sex might not be that great all the time but on average it is acceptable.

You may have a relationship which is unique and not the usual date, engaged, marriage, offspring, house, more offspring etc. relationship. You may be so devoted to your careers and enjoy them so much that having offspring may be delayed or not planned for at all in the near future.

You may not respect and admire all the family members of your spouse but you don’t get into needless arguments about the personality conflicts and upsetting comments if they exist.

You may have difficulty occasionally living together because of cramped space, different tastes in music, décor, and one being messier than the other.

You may have to “work” at a good relationship once in a while by having to suppress anger, jealousy, and pessimism. You may have to compromise or give in to one spouse’s needs and in general make changes in living lifestyle along the way so that problems can be solved and life can continue as smoothly as possible.

CONCLUSION:

Very few couples have an ideal marriage all the time. Real relationship problems surface sometimes due to external circumstances or influences but they are usually not severe enough to threaten a basically compatible mutual relationship which is skilled at trusting mutual communication and minimally emotional conflict resolution.

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FEMALES!!! 3 IMPORTANT QUESTIONS WHICH NEED A YES ANSWER BEFORE MARRYING!!!

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Is he or you going to be a good provider moneywise?

Will he be honest, sincere, dependable, and one who fulfills his promises?

Does he believe adultery is immoral or something definitely not to do?

If he or you are not going to be a good provider then don’t plan on having offspring and if you decide to do so anyway then at least keep your finances separate and secretly save up some money for an inevitable divorce at some point in the future.

If he lies to you during the relationship, is not dependable with his promises, and is not very punctual when he promises to be so then don’t marry under any circumstances because your marriage will be an untrustworthy emotional hell on earth.

If he has a series of failed marriages due to adultery or if he has been very promiscuous during his single years then don’t marry because bad sexual habits last a lifetime and are almost impossible to change in this hedonistic western culture.

CONCLUSION:

If you find a good provider who doesn’t lie to you, is dependable, is not the cheating kind, and is not afraid of commitment then go for it with all of your feminine charms and get married!!!!!!

These are rather high standards for marriage material and few modern males these days will qualify. Remember, it is BEST TO REMAIN SINGLE then to marry in haste or marry a financially poor, unreliable, untrustworthy mate. Marry a scum bag and you will regret it the rest of your life and so will your offspring if you make the mistake of having any by him!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them and read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE.

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20 WAYS TO MAKE A GOOD MARRIAGE BETTER

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Share chores, bond with each other’s friends and family if they are not a source of arguments, eat healthy certified organic food, and exercise moderately.

There are 15 more ways that you can improve your marriage as shown in this huffingtonpost.com blog.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bridal-guide/20-ways-to-make-your-marr_b_3279639.html

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE.

To read a list and access any of my over 400 evergreen truth blogs follow me at twitter.com/uldissprogis and I am sure that you will find more than a handful of evergreen truth blogs which will interest you.

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WORDS WHICH WILL DAMAGE A MARITAL RELATIONSHIP!!!

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The 3 most damaging things which you can say to your spouse are:

I hate you!

I’ve never really loved you!

I wish you would die!

There are 23 more things which will hurt your spouse’s feelings much which Ben Donley mentions in his blog.

http://bendonley.com/2013/12/02/marriage-killer-1-thou-shalt-not-say-the-following-things-to-your-spouse/

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE.

To read a list and access any of my over 400 evergreen truth blogs follow me at twitter.com/uldissprogis and I am sure that you will find more than a handful of evergreen truth blogs which will interest you.

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7 THINGS WHICH CAN INCREASE THE DURATION OF YOUR MARRIAGE!!!

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Learn to communicate with discussion more than with angry emotional confrontation when you disagree. Learn caring communication which means listening carefully to what the other is saying and supporting their right to disagree with you on rather trivial matters. When discussing rather important things remember that it may take more than one discussion to reach an agreement or a consensus on what the best thing to do is.

Boredom can reduce mutual attraction and sharing exciting activities together can maintain or even increase mutual bonding attraction. Plan some exciting mutually satisfying activities together throughout the marriage and you will increase your chances of remaining attractive to one another.

One way of avoiding arguments is withdrawl or ignoring the assault on you which may come in the form of severe criticism or a confrontational argument. When one partner has given up on discussing or irrationally arguing about problems then mutual attraction begins to fade and the marriage will be threatened. There is no constructive arguing possible if there is illogical ranting, name calling, profanities, and put downs as well as emotional dissatisfaction being expressed.

Few marriages will last if pessimistic depression exists frequently in one spouse. Mental health is very important in a marriage and if one is mentally handicapped and therapy does not help, then the marriage will probably not last long.

Too much caring or too much nurturing and protection or support of your spouse will lead to an overly dependent spouse who will not be able to function independently on her or his own. Quality caring and not quantity caring is what is preferable in a marriage. Quality caring means caring about the important things in the marriage and not caring so much about the rather trivial experiences, conflicting personally biased opinions, and problems which you are having.

Religious holiday traditions, especially for women, tend to increase the attractiveness of the relationship. What really strengthens a satisfying relationship is having a common or shared morality more than anything else and a recommended shared secular morality is- except in emergency situations- don’t destroy biodiversity, don’t lie, don’t be inefficient, don’t steal, don’t commit adultery if married, and don’t murder.

Sharing and celebrating each other’s successes also strengthens the marital bond. In a similar fashion it also strengthens a friendship bond if you celebrate each other’s successes. Intense optimistic shared emotions strengthen human bonds.

It may not be so obvious but sharing mutual bad feelings and emotions such as hatred, disapproval, grieving, or empathizing with a bad experience can also strengthen the human bond between two or more humans. Any shared or agreed to mutually intense emotional behavior strengthens human bonds whether the behavior is bad or good. Shared intense bad and immoral emotional behavior strengthens the human bond between delinquents and criminals. Criminal successes increase the human bonding between the participants.

http://wordpress.com/tag/science/

If you liked this evergreen blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE.

To read a list and access any of my approximately 400 evergreen blogs follow me at twitter.com/uldissprogis and I am sure that you will find more than a handful of evergreen blogs which will interest you.

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6 IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP BAD HABITS IN A MARRIAGE

A man is having an argument with his girlfriend while sitting on a couch

Most bad habits deal with bad emotional control, lying, trying to change the hard or impossible to change, and letting external humans or events adversely affect the relationship.

TRYING TO IMPROVE YOUR SPOUSE’S PERSONALITY WITH NAGGING:

If your spouse does not take out the garbage, doesn’t like to cook, will not vacuum, and do household chores in general then it may be possible to gradually change this in the relationship eventually.

If your spouse is shy or not sociable, is a poor communicator, is not funny or humorous, is unreliable and doesn’t keep promises, is overly selfish, or is not interested in disciplining offspring then it will be almost impossible to change these basic personality types. If you do try to change your spouse’s personality then you will probably meet with failure and have to go through much nagging or complaining and fruitless arguments.

GETTING IN-LAWS INVOLVED IN RELATIONSHIP ISSUES:

Nothing is worse than engaging in-laws who take sides in a marriage and almost always find fault in one spouse and not the other. Ganging up on a spouse with in-law backup will only heighten the anger over an issue and not resolve any problem. Borrowing money from in-laws and not being able to pay it back later is also a major source of added problems in a relationship. Let the in-laws give affection and gifts to offspring but don’t get them involved in relationship problems.

FIGHTING AND EXTREME AFFECTION IN PUBLIC:

Nothing is more embarrassing than demonstrating bad communication in public by openly arguing or fighting in public. Extreme displays of affection in public are also embarrassing where modest affection is more acceptable.

TOO MUCH ARGUING AND FIGHTING AND TOO LITTLE DISCUSSION:

When there is a clash of opinions it is very easy to get emotionally angry and get into an adversarial mode instead of a calm discussion which may lead to compromise or one side deciding to not push an opinion on the other any further. A calm discussion may bring out the reason for the underlying angry emotions and reveal the important details in a problem which is begging for a solution.

Too much angry and hateful exchanges reduces the feeling that you still love one another despite your disagreements on many minor relatively unimportant issues. If the arguing is over important issues then the probability of them being resolved in anger is minimal and you should seriously work on asking questions and finding answers in a calm and controlled manner which will increase the probability that you will solve the problem or problems.

TIMING DISCUSSIONS BADLY:

Trying to calmly discuss important issues, especially financial matters, when feeling tired, stressed, or after an argument is not the right time to do so. Set aside a time, such as an hour before bedtime or a few hours after work, when you can discuss important issues in a calm and collected way without much external tension interfering with the communication.

ALLOWING JEALOUSY TO DOMINATE A RELATIONSHIP:

If your partner was promiscuous before marriage and lied to you and was not dependable then it is your own fault for marrying him or her and feeling jealous. If on the other hand you have married a reliable, honest spouse and have developed a trustworthy relationship for over a year then there is no reason why you should be consumed with jealousy.

If you have a predictable relationship and suddenly he hangs up on a call and doesn’t answer, does not answer promptly who called,  suddenly there is a drop in how frequently he wants sex, or you have an impulsive feeling that he or she has changed in some unusual way then spying may be a solution to your impulsive doubts. If you have developed a mutual trusting relationship in your marriage and everything is going along smoothly then spying should not be necessary and it will only increase your doubts and keep you in a state of terminal jealousy.

LYING TO YOUR SPOUSE OR LYING TO YOURSELF:

Nothing destroys a marriage speedier than lying because it destroys a trusting relationship which is necessary for a strong bond in the marriage. Lying to yourself that honesty is not important will not make things better.

Little white lies like lying about liking a homemade meal or a dress which you don’t like may encourage you to lie about bigger things too. You may become unreliable in the promises which you make and start making stupid excuses instead. Anger, suspicion, jealousy, unsatisfaction, disappointment, and unnecessary stress all grow and can explode in an untrustworthy relationship and even end it.

 

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6 CHARACTERISTICS OF THE IDEAL MAN TO DATE AND MARRY

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He has realistic goals in his life, is assertive, and is confident that he will achieve the goals and knows what kind of a spouse he wants and goes for it.

He is building towards a good financial foundation for a future family and is not a bar hopper looking for one night stands.

He is honest, sincere, trustworthy, dependable, smart, somewhat caring, and with a good personality and is looking for an honest, sincere, and trustworthy mate who is dependable with smarts and a good personality who looks good but is not hot, wild, and exciting.  In effect he knows what a good woman is and takes the time to know her more intimately if she is the type that he is looking for.

He has a somewhat caring personality or nurtures and protects you or supports your important interests and tries to protect you from bad influences and bad humans.

He is a good listener and is not only selfishly interested in himself and realizes that a conversation and a relationship is a two way street or that it should be mutually rewarding or satisfying.

He is not afraid of commitment if he really likes you and is ready to make one if he feels financially ready or will be financially ready in the near future. He plans to wait to have offspring until he is ready to support a family on his own for a short period of time until his spouse can work again and help to support the family financially too.

CONCLUSION:

Only some men are very caring. If you and he has a good job and he is financially responsible, is honest, dependable, trustworthy, has a good personality, and is a good communicator then go for him and ask for a commitment within a year’s time. If he doesn’t want to commit then break off the relationship because he is looking for a better or more attractive woman to come along.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them and read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSErays of truth in a world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

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THE 9 CHARACTERISICS OF THE IDEAL WOMAN TO DATE AND MARRY

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She gets upset and displeased but communicates clearly what is bothering her without throwing emotional tantrums, complaining too much, or expressing loud anger.

She is honest, sincere, and truthful, has standards or a clear morality, and does not feel that she is owed attention and affection or to be treated as a princess just because she exists.

She feels that she should be valued or loved for her smarts, integrity, and personality as well as for what physical attractiveness and sexuality she might possess.

She has a good paying job or career and realizes that she may have to temporarily depend on the husband’s income alone and sacrifice a job temporarily for a stay at home mom with young offspring to raise unless her income is so good that she can afford babysitters or a nanny. She does not want to become a permanent financial burden on the husband by remaining unemployed and with offspring.

She has domestic skills such as cooking and cleaning which can come in handy if financially the family can’t afford domestic help.

She is not sexually promiscuous.

She has clear goals of what she would want or desire to accomplish in her life in and outside of marriage.

She values a man based on his integrity, smarts, communication skills, caring, and emotional stability and not primarily on how popular he might be, his physical appearance, and wealth.

She is not one who will try to manipulate or change the husband greatly but is mostly satisfied with his current job, personality or behavior, and future plans.

If you liked this evergreen blog then read more of them.

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8 FINANCIAL OR MONEY QUESTIONS WHICH YOU SHOULD ASK BEFORE MARRIAGE

money-and-marriage

Money mismanagement or not enough of it is the leading cause of divorce so you should find out before marriage how your future spouse has, will, or wants to manage money.

Your favorite store is having a blowout sale; what will you do?

You just received a large tax refund. What are you most likely to do with it?

You inherit $10,000. What is your first instinct?

Everyone pictures retirement differently. What does yours look like?

How would you like to save for retirement?

What percentage of our earnings will be saved for emergencies and/or retirement and/or education for offspring or self-improvement?

Will we have joint or separate money accounts?

Will we share budgeting responsibilities or will one be the dominant manager of the household budget?

Most of these questions are designed to find out who is the great spender in the relationship and who will have the major responsibility for running the household budget if there are not separate accounts. The most thrifty spouse who is good with numbers should play a major role in budgeting the household budget for joint accounts.

If neither one of you are good with money management, are stressed out when talking about money and sharing it, and both have jobs then maybe separate accounts are the solution to the problem so blame for overspending will show up clearly by examining the independent accounts.

To avoid having to blame one or the other for overspending a third joint account may be set up to pay for anticipated joint fixed expenses such as food, rent or mortgage payment, utility bills, offspring expenses, and household expenses. After every paycheck a just or fair amount should be contributed to the third joint account.

Most married couples never learn to BUDGET their money or are very bad at managing money which becomes a major source for arguments and hardship that frequently leads to divorce. If you find out by asking the above questions that one is an irresponsible spendthrift hooked on credit cards then don’t marry!!!!!!

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11 IMPORTANT THINGS WHICH WILL HELP A MARRIAGE TO LAST

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Be loyal devoted best friends and the relationship will even endure once the sex becomes less frequent or non-existent.

Learn to listen fully to what your spouse is communicating and respond calmly if you are not angry, hungry, or tired. Learn to become a good listener and calm cooperative communicator instead of an angry confrontational opponent.

Try to never lie because honesty, sincerity, and telling the truth creates a trustworthy relationship accompanied by respect and admiration. Even white lies are unnecessary because there are diplomatic ways of communicating objections.

If you don’t like a dress then say that it is nice but that it is not your favorite color combination, pattern, style, or shape. If you don’t like a meal then communicate that it is a little too spicy, salty, or contains a food which is not your favorite. Save your superlative words such as beautiful and wonderful for things which you really like or approve of. Permanent hurt feelings will only exist if you use extreme words such as hate and ugly for things your spouse loves.

Plan ahead and revel in your successes and try to ignore past mistakes and don’t continue to blame a spouse for past mistakes. Learn to forget and forgive if it is not a marriage threatening situation. Find solutions to your problems and act on them or try to do something about your problems. Stop the blame game.

Find, identify, and pursue common goals which may change in priority as the marriage progresses. Working towards common goals with teamwork will strengthen a marriage and not weaken it because you will be sharing an experience which you both consider important.

Be open to adaptation and change. Nothing remains constant in marriage forever and new problems will surface which may need new approaches to solving them. Optimistically confront the new situations and adapt accordingly.

Learn to budget your money so that impulsive profligate spending does not interfere with an otherwise good relationship and become a major source of arguments which will threaten the marriage since bad money management is the number one reason for divorce.

Support or nurture your spouse’s personal passions and primary interests as long as they do not threaten to lead to financial bankruptcy.

Drop relationships with pessimistic untrustworthy friends and humans with dysfunctional marriages. Find new friends who are happily married or are confronting life with optimistic realism.

Don’t be adulterous. Adultery is the second leading cause of divorce so don’t do it. It creates fear of abandonment, distrust, jealousy, hatred, and anger in a relationship which any good relationship should not tolerate.

Finally, the traditional purpose of marriage was to raise successful happy offspring. If you are financially responsible and can afford it then offspring should be high on your priority list. To help you in this endeavor read one or more of my evergreen books LOVEALL, MODERN PARENTING, and GOOD MODERN BEHAVIORS.

 

If you liked this evergreen blog then read more of them.

Enjoy!!!!!!

4 MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IN A LONG DURATION OR LASTING MARRIAGE!!!!

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There are hundreds of tips and advice on marriage but few identify the most important building blocks which create a very good foundation for a long duration marriage. The 4 most important foundations are-

 SHARED MORALITY

 MUTUAL CARING

 FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY

 GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS

 

SHARED MORALITY:

In an increasingly relativistic world where situation ethics or loose morality is being taught by professionals and condoned by society at large, the statistics for successful marriages are depressing and getting worse. You don’t need archaic religious morality to guide you but you do need to share a strong secular morality to make a marriage work. The two most important moral principles in that secular morality are DON’T LIE and DON’T COMMIT ADULTERY IF MARRIED.

If you believe that being honest, sincere, and trying to be truthful are not important in a marriage then you will not have a trusting relationship in the marriage and without trust you will be living in constant fear, uncertainty, suspicion, stress, and turmoil. Any initial bond, which may only be primarily sexual, which helped to initially keep your relationship together will be broken and the relationship will destruct sooner if not later. If at any point in the relationship you find out that you can’t TRUST your partner, DON’T MARRY him or her.

If you find out, hopefully in time, that your potential mate has been a playboy or playgirl for 5 to 10 years then the odds are against you that you will have an adulterous free marriage and the probability that you will divorce sooner or later is very large. If your potential mate has many adulterous friends then this is also a dangerous sign that you too will probably be victimized by the same fate sooner or later. If you have lived together for about one year, are financially secure enough to support one child and can’t get a commitment to marry then end the relationship because it is a purely sexual one and your potential mate is hoping to find a better mate in the future.

 

MUTUAL CARING:

If you find out that your potential spouse does not respect you and does not show an interest in and support most of the things that you like and love to do or does not care about you then consider him or her an incurable selfcentered egotist. It is a human who has not learned to care about other humans and it is unfortunately too late to teach them how to be a nurturing and protective or a caring individual.

 

FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY:

Inadequate finances or irresponsible management of finances is the leading cause of divorce. If you are good at budgeting money and your potential spouse is not then it is possible for the responsible spouse to take over the financial management successfully if the other is seriously willing to do so. If both of you have independent jobs and accounts and both are irresponsible financially and impulsive in your spending habits then the marriage will almost never succeed.

Offspring are always an additional financial responsibility and if you haven’t enough money to support any then use birth control until you can responsibly support offspring. If you both are working then make sure that just one of you can support the family on your own for a year or more unless you both earn enough to pay for a full time nanny and can continue to work after a very short pregnancy period which will not result in losing a good paying job.

 

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:

A great disadvantage in solving family problems is frequent emotional displays, many emotional arguments, constant criticism, a general inability to discuss problems rationally, and an unwillingness or inability to give emotional support when needed in times of personal hardship and stress. Emotional eruptions shut down an ability to discuss and solve a problem and if one of you can’t control your emotions or shut down and don’t communicate at all about important topics then the marriage will fail in the long duration.

CONCLUSION:

Find a human who you can trust, who demonstrates with actions and words that he cares about you, who is financially capable and responsible, and who has good communication skills and the probability is great that you will have a long duration marriage! If you can’t find the above human then get ready for much disappointment and failure in your relationship and it probably won’t last!!!!!! Of course if you fall madly in love with a human with the above characteristics and abilities and go past the infatuation stage then you will have nice memories to think about in old age if you do marry.

 

If you liked this evergreen blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE.

Enjoy!!!!!!

BRAINWASHING YOUR SPOUSE WITH NICE WORDS

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Here are examples of praise and reassurances with promises which may be needed occasionally but don’t overdo it. Much of it is what women would like to hear but frequently don’t hear from their husbands.

Praise:

I admire you.

I celebrate your love, and I celebrate our marriage.

Thank you for being faithful when times are tough.

Thank you for your integrity. It enriches our marriage.

Thank you for your forgiveness. I will forgive you, too.

I am grateful for the things you do and the things we share.

I treasure the time we spend together.

You are my best friend.

The example we set is important. Thank you for being a good example.

 

Reassurance in the form of promises:

I love you now and forever.

I am committed to our marriage.

I will be strong for you.

Thank you for your patience. I will be patient with you too.

I will always help you.

I understand the importance of cooperation.

I will make our home a happy place.

I treasure our family.

I will always honor our marriage and be faithful to you.

I will never stop loving you.

I understand the importance of clear, loving, open lines of communication.

Time here on earth is short and precious. I want to spend as much of it with you as I can.

I will focus on the positive.

Our love will last forever.

CONCLUSION: Praising your husband or wife once in a while for important good behavior and communicating disapproval for important bad behavior is essential for any good ongoing relationship. If he or she helps you in some way or gives you emotional help or physical support when you need it then thanks for your support or understanding is frequently enough praise.

When confronted with problems in married life realize that there are not always instant solutions and that it frequently takes much time and mutual effort to resolve many important problems. Having an ongoing good attitude like an optimistic outlook on life is a great help because it shows that you almost always have hope that to most problems there is a solution sooner or later if you both put in the necessary time and effort.

Reassurances are frequently only necessary for difficult problems which need much time and devoted effort to solve. Let’s keep working at it or we are making some progress towards a solution or let’s not give up yet is frequently the kind of reassurance necessary.

If you like this evergreen blog read more of them and read one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE.

Enjoy!!!!!!