Tag Archives: parenting

WHAT ARE SOME USEFUL PARENTING QUOTES?

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22 updated new quotes on parenting by Uldis Sprogis:

Every offspring needs and deserves good parents but all parents do not need nor deserve offspring.

Offspring are great imitators so give them something great to imitate.

Your offspring will eventually follow your example and will only follow your advice if they respect you so be an example worthy of respect.

If you raise offspring who value their INTEGRITY then you have succeeded as a parent.

Never do for offspring what they can do themselves.

Bad parenting creates assholes and immoral behavior.

Smart and wise parents prepare their offspring to live on their own.

Offspring rebel against parental behavior because they have incomplete understanding, sense injustice in parental behavior, are motivated by peer pressure, or have selfish motives.

Disciplining your offspring to assume personal moral, household, and social responsibilities is the purpose of proper discipline.

As soon as offspring are smart enough but not tall enough, provide them with a sturdy stool to stand on and assign them responsible tasks such as personal hygiene, cleaning chores, organizing chores, food shopping, and food preparation.

A shared strong morality with integrity and mutual responsible parenting usually results in marital harmony and moral responsible offspring.

Nothing succeeds in giving offspring a sense of security more than parents who respect one another and behave affectionately.

Always remember that a marriage is not just between a male and female, it also includes the offspring.

Most of skillful careful parenting is being able to nurture and protect your offspring but not overprotect them from the real world and make them dependent on parents too long.

Parenting is morally conditional behavior. If it weren’t then offspring would be lying, stealing, cheating, and fighting at will and parents would be powerless to stop them no matter how much unconditional love they exhibited.

History repeats itself because aggressive, selfish, emotional, violence prone human nature is inherited from generation to generation. Each time offspring challenge parental tradition with rebellious attitudes which makes for a tumultuous society always trying to remain civilized and eternally fighting immorality and human vice.

Family morality or a dysfunctional lifestyle is passed on to offspring which is why being as good a role model parent as possible is so important. You should seriously consider foregoing offspring if you will be a dysfunctional role model parent or don’t really want the responsibility of raising offspring.

Understand that if a woman is financially independent before you marry then she wants and needs your loyalty, loving, devotion, emotional support, and parenting skills more than your money because she can survive financially on her own.

Most marriages are transitions from independent living to responsible parenting which many fear because of a reduction in personal freedom and the added burden of supporting offspring financially and emotionally.

Theoretically the economic purpose of successful parenting and education should be to create independent economic units from dependent ones in the long duration. Realistically even adult economic units are increasingly becoming dependent on the government because the economic system can no longer guarantee lifetime employment for all who want to work but lack ever more complex work skills needed in the workplace.

The strength of a nation originates from the moral integrity and financial responsibility of the family unit.

Destroy a moral financially responsible independent family unit and you have destroyed a free nation.

Elusive but necessary is finding the right balance between the pursuit of future goals and fulfilling present responsibilities.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4700 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

10 IMPORTANT PARENTING QUESTIONS ANSWERED!!!

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My kids are frequently hitting each other. What can I do about it?

 

Most aggression results from a reaction to a toy being taken away or the destruction of what one has built. The basic underlying desire to be the dominant child in an interaction or selfishness is a contributory factor in most conflict situations. This reveals the necessity for teaching children that some toys are personal property to be respected and other toys are property which can be shared.

At first teaching how to share a toy needs adult supervision and you can introduce sharing by saying that one child can play with a toy for 5 minutes and then it is time for the other to spend 5 minutes playing with it. Harder to teach is a cooperative playing with a toy but in the case of a car it can mean shoving the car back and forth between two children along the floor or table top.

When building with blocks one child may want to destroy what was built so it is important to point out that this is unacceptable behavior to do and you must reprimand the offending destructive child.

Being a referee between two children of about the same age is hard enough but if you have three or more of about the same age then you have a handful of conflict on your hands if they all fight with each other. If the kids are all playing in the same room then you could instruct each one to pick a toy to play with and give them a space or corner of the room in which to play in.

When kids seem to be fighting for no reason at all such as pushing or shoving a lot then point out that this kind of behavior is mean and bad and that it shouldn’t be done.

It is not just important to find out who started a fight or who hit first but what was the underlying cause so you can always ask why did you hit your sibling? Sometimes aggression seems justified so you may just inform the victim child that he or she should complain to the parent about the situation. At other times kids may fight for no good reason at all and isolating them from each other for a time may be a possible partial solution. Whatever the situation be firm with a no fighting rule in the house and enforce the no fighting rule with punishment such as isolation for10 minutes or so for the offending aggressive party if you know with certainty who the first offender was.

Orderliness is very important and before bedtime all toys should be put away. Having toy bins with personal toys and shared toys may be one way of organizing a playroom or bedroom. Yes, at first you will have to instruct which toys go into which bins but once you succeed at this then cleanup will be less of a problem. An older child may be asked to show the younger one which toys go into which bins.

When there is an age difference of two or more years then fighting may not be a large problem. You can start teaching responsibility to your older child by asking them to teach the younger child how to do things like drawing, building things, reading to them, or teaching basic math.

A final important note is that you should try to teach or punish children fairly by not showing favoritism towards one child over another. Stress the fact that you love all your children equally and that there is no such thing as a bad child or a good child but merely good and bad behavior. When you get angry tell them that you are angry at the bad behavior and not angry at the child him or herself since you still love them.

 

How should I handle a situation where my child is being bullied?

 

Verbal bullying can either be ignored or you can teach your child to defend themselves verbally by responding with simple phrases such as “That’s your opinion not mine.”, “Grow up and act like an adult.”, “Pick on someone else if you want to feel superior.”, “Treat me like shit and I will never be your friend”, “Try being nice to people, you will have more friends.”, “You now have a reputation of being a big bad bully.”, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”, or ”To be respected you must treat others with respect.”

If it is physical bullying such as pushing, shoving, and punching then teaching your child self defense which does not severely injure the opponent may be necessary. Japanese Aikido is one example but Tae Kwon Do is another example where kicking and footwork, feet being the strongest part of the body, is emphasized. You can tell a child to warn the aggressor that if he or she does it again then they will get kicked if it is just a push or a shove. If your child gets punched or physically assaulted then one important key to defense is to trip them to the ground and proceed to kick them and maybe even punch them on the body but not head.

I personally was bullied by an overweight boy slightly shorter than me and I ignored his bullying until one day he pushed me off a fence that I was sitting on and I almost broke my neck. I was so enraged that I tripped him and proceeded to kick him and punch his head while he was on the ground. I slightly hurt my hand by punching his bony head so that was not a smart thing to do but he never bullied me again.

Another personal incident was where we were bragging about who was the strongest, got into a fight and I put him into a choke hold and he pass out and it scared me because I thought that maybe I had killed him. I made a mistake because he was bigger and stronger than me and I avoided him as much as possible after this initial incident for fear of being beaten up. We were never friends after that incident. This is not a bullying incident but just a lesson that fighting is not the best answer to successful conflict resolution and it is certainly not civil behavior.

 

When and how to talk to children about sex?

 

When a child is considered too young to understand the sexual act then simply saying that mommy got pregnant, you grew in her belly, and then were born as a baby. If the child is smart enough to ask further questions such as how did I get out of her belly then simply say through the vagina. If the child then asks what a vagina is then say it is an opening in the body between the legs. If the child asks how did mommy get pregnant then say daddy helped her to become pregnant. If the child wants more details then you have a precocious child on your hands who will probably understand further details.

Answers to very young children should be very general and not specific and they will usually be satisfied with the general answer that you give them and stop further questioning. When they ask for more details don’t lie to them but start giving a clinical truthful but brief answer. If you are embarrassed and don’t want to admit that you and mom have sex then show them examples of animals having sex and explain what they are doing.

 

How can I convince my children that smoking, drinking to excess, and taking drugs is not a smart thing to do?

 

Be good role model parents. Don’t smoke, don’t do drugs, and don’t drink to excess. If you smoke, do drugs, and drink to excess then the probability that your children will have the same handicaps is very great no matter how much you try to scare them out of doing so.

Drinking and driving is the greatest danger so if they are driving your car make it a strict rule that they can only have one or two beers or one or two glasses of wine and then drive. If they get drunk then tell them to call a taxi or get a ride home from a designated driver. Of course if you catch them driving drunk or high on drugs then revoke their driving privileges for a month or longer.

 

With a very busy schedule, how can I spend adequate time with my kids?

 

If you have more than one kid then schedule your time with each one of them personally on a regular basis and also schedule time with all of them together on family outings. Keep in mind that quality time is the most important and if you are not spending time teaching your child something new, sharing a skill or activity such as chess, tennis, or computers, encouraging their interests or praising them for good deeds or accomplishments, asking about how his or her day or week went, helping with homework and other tasks, discussing bad behavior, or sharing your work experiences then it is probably mostly wasted time together.

 

How can you change low selfesteem?

 

Some children simply don’t do well in school and have few or no friends and generally have a low opinion of themselves or low selfesteem. Your parental expectations may be too high and you may not have motivated the child enough with praise and encouragement for things done well.

Tell your child that not everyone can become an engineer, scientist, computer programmer, doctor, or lawyer and offer them the possibility of becoming proficient in some vocational profession such as a car or motorcycle mechanic, plumber, electrician, police officer, military officer, nurse, teacher, etc.

Every child should have long range goals if possible and selflearning vocational skills during the teenage years may be an ideal way to get a foot in the door and some useful vocational knowledge. Ultimately if your child learns a useful skill that pays relatively well then they should do rather well in life no matter how low their selfesteem.

Selfesteem originates from trying things and doing them successfully. You can insist that they help you with housework and praise them for doing a good job. Introduce them to interesting hobbies which don’t cost much money and generally get them interested in doing things or actively pursuing interests outside of school also. The more active that they are and do things successfully, the more their selfesteem will build up.

Teach them that failure is inevitable in life and the key to overcoming failure is to get up and try again or do something else which you don’t fail at.

 

What do I do when my child lies or steals?

 

Lying and stealing are immoral. Lying means that trust is broken and your reputation with others will hit the toilet. You will never have very close good friends or good friends in general if you lie to them. Without trust a relationship ends or is a very bad one.

Steal from someone and trust also breaks down. Not only is stealing immoral but society punishes thieves with prison since it is considered a criminal activity.

From early childhood you should severely stress that lying and stealing is unacceptable and the punishment severe. I caught my thirteen year old son stealing ten dollars from my wallet and proceeded to spank him severely across the butt with my belt in a rage. He never stole from me again.

For older teenagers compulsive stealing is often a sign of some drug habit which needs much money that they don’t have so be wary of a teenager who suddenly starts stealing from you out of the blue. Yes, peer pressure can also lead to stealing and if you find out that this is the case then your child is hanging out with the wrong crowd and you should put a stop to it as soon as possible. Your child must simply learn to say a fervent NO to lying and stealing. Both acts are severe character flaws which good society does not tolerate.

 

How should I discipline my children?

 

There is a slight difference in disciplining very young children and older ones but both basically entail taking away a possession for duration or taking away a privilege for duration.

Very young children throwing a tantrum can be disciplined with isolation or removing them physically from the tantrum location and making them sit in isolation in a room or car until they calm down. Ask them whether they are ready to go back and behave is something that you should do before you bring them back to the tantrum location which is sometimes a store or public place.

Warning or threatening your child with a threat of punishment is also a way of controlling bad behavior. Taking away a favorite toy, cellphone, rights to use a computer, right to go out of the home (grounding), etc. for duration is usually very effective but if you threaten a punishment then you should follow through with consistency or your threats will be ignored in the future. Also if you promise a reward or to do something like going to a sporting event or theatrical performance then follow through and fulfill the promise.

Discipline must be consistent, clear, and as close to the misbehavior as possible. Discipline delayed is not as effective and young children especially will forget what they are being punished for with poor results in the end.

 

How can I help my children form friendships?

 

If you have good friends yourself then children will learn from your role model example. If you don’t interact with humans that much then teach your children that the best friends are those with common interests in school or near home setting and at about the same age. Teach them not to lie or steal from others so trusting friendly relationships develop.

If your children don’t seem to be interested in much then introduce them to games, hobbies, and sports which they can share with others. Having a bicycle can also increase the range of your child and expose him or her to children farther away in the neighborhood.

 

How can my children learn to be independent?

 

Independence means doing things on your own so start early teaching them numbers, words, reading, and math which they will definitely need in school. As soon as possible have them do household chores such as vacuuming, cleaning, food preparation, laundry, yard work, taking out the garbage, etc.

Introduce them as early as possible to games, hobbies, sports, and tools. Teach them your job skills and how to budget money. If it is a suburban neighborhood have them wash cars, mow grass, walk a neighbor’s dog, or do other work suited to teenagers for money. In effect, keep them busy doing useful things on their own and they will learn how to be independent.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4500 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

THE SCIENCE OF PARENTING!!!

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This is a brief summary of the edX course Scientific Parenting by Dr. David Barnes at the University of California at San Diego. I learned a lot about the current psychological research into parenting done worldwide. I enjoyed the scientific analysis of the research but for most I would just recommend that you audit the course for free and just watch the outstanding video presentations of the material which is comprehensible to the average layman and a joy to watch an excursion into very intelligent easily understood presentations.

The most impactful knowledge about psychological parenting research is that almost all the studies are correlational and that means that there are no provable cause effect relationships in this research. The result has been much controversy which suggests that the correlation between two variables A and B may in fact be incomplete and that variable C or D may in fact be better correlated with the gathered information from questionnaires.

Several myths were debunked and one of them was that bilingual students or children are in some way better at learning and smarter than monolingual children.

Another myth was that autism is caused by vaccines. Follow up scientific evidence simply does not support this. Still further the original source of the popularized myth article turned out to be Wakefield who had a very small sample in his testing and it turned out that he had a financial interest tied to the conclusions in his later debunked research paper.

Yet another myth was debunked and that is that learning to play a musical instrument increases your learning ability in academic areas which just isn’t so and is a false assumption.

Another myth that was based on unprovable research conclusions was that a sense of basic morality is innate or inborn in young children and that they inherently prefer humans with good over those with bad behaviors.

Another myth that was debunked was that there are unique learning styles which students primarily use to learn things such as visual, auditory, and verbal styles of learning. It was shown that there are no unique learning styles and that most learning is a combination of visual, verbal, and even auditory cues so no one unique style actually exists that is used to learn with.

There is another myth that accelerated learning, advanced placement, or grade skipping leads to students who are socially or relationship handicapped. While there are some exceptions which are evidence for social maladjustment the vast majority of gifted students are not socially handicapped in any significant way.

What I learned was that ADHD or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder is on the increase in the US population largely because psychiatry has tried to officially label it as a disorder in the DSM-5 psychiatric handbook. The handbook has assigned symptoms to it which are now being very subjectively used to diagnose and treat children who show discipline, hyperactivity, and inability to concentrate problems in school. The result has been a precipitous increase in diagnosis of ADHD in children followed by what I think is an unethical medication of these students with pills that alter the brain chemistry often with adverse long duration side effects. Some states only insure diagnosed ADHD students so just like the psychiatric profession there is a money incentive to label someone as ADHD which is theoretically now a mental illness even though other societies in the world do not have such high rates of ADHD.

What I also discovered was that the Nature vs. Nurture or Genetics vs. Environment debate is still unresolved in much parenting research and there is some debate as to whether genetic inheritance from parents or environmental factors play a larger role in parenting success in specific areas of parenting which are discussed or investigated. For example in studies of aggression in children there is some debate as to whether aggression is primarily a function of the environment such as the kind of discipline, peer role models, financial poverty, etc. or is it primarily inherited parental genes with a tendency towards aggression compounded by aggressive parents as role models?

I really liked the course Scientific Parenting and would highly recommend it to present and future parents.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1151!!!

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If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

BRIEF REVIEW OF GOOD AND BAD PUNISHMENT!!!

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As parents we often are uncertain whether a punishment is working or is effective or we are uncertain whether a threat of punishment or threat of withdrawal of a privilege will work. Ways of punishing are many and you should refer to books for detailed information on the subject. I highlight general reasons why punishments can be effective and why they sometimes are not.

My young son threw a loud temper tantrum in the supermarket when the family went shopping and I immediately physically carried him out to the car and had him calm down. When he did calm down I asked him whether he was ready to go back in and behave. We went back shopping and everything was fine again.

This is just one example of immediate effective punishment for young offspring which is nonviolent and does not involve loudly shouting “no!” or “stop that!” in a public place.

 

 

PUNISHMENTS ARE MOST EFFECTIVE WHEN THEY ARE-

Appropriate and thoughtful:

Consistently enforced:

Enforced immediately following the behavior:

Helpful in teaching what to do:

Not sources of additional wanted attention:

 

Appropriate and thoughtful:

This should mean that the punishment

is adjusted to the severity of the misbehavior timewise and/or

is (emotionally impactful and/or harsh) to the right degree and/or

is a consideration of the effectiveness of previous similar incidents and/or

is the right time, place, or circumstance to be enforced

Appropriate: v. to add and/or to subtract a subset(s) necessary for a different subset(s) and being normative and acceptable for the circumstances

 

Thoughtful or Thinkad: adj. silently and mentally verbalizing and trying to make correspondences between the subsets of one’s own knowledge and/or experiences and using as much logic as possible

Harsh: adj. unpleasantly intense and/or shocking to the senses

 

Another general statement which can be made is that the punishment fits the crime and/or misbehavior.

This means that the length of time the punishment lasts can be short, medium, or long depending on the circumstances.

The emotional intensity felt by the offendor can be extreme, medium, or low intensity hatred and/or mental pain or anguish and/or unpleasantness.

You should consider whether the punishment should be changed if previous attempts a dealing with the misbehavior have not been effective and the misbehavior continues to recur.

The kind of punishment can be

forceful,

withdrawing a privilege,

demanding a repetition of corrected behavior more than once,

demanding completion of an unpleasant task,

a threat of future punishment, or

a loud threatening order to cease misbehaving.

 

Consistently enforced:

Consistently: adv. repeating at different starting points in time

 

Repeat: v. to do an event(s) more than once with or without duration(s) in between

 

If the punishment is not severe enough then we may be consistently punishing the same way but the punishment itself is ineffectual. If this is the case then the punishment must become more severe since consistency is not enough to guarantee successful obedience. More severe punishment means that it is made to last longer, is more repugnant or devastating to the offendor, and is a privilege removed which is more highly valued such as the removal of cellphone usage.

As a parent you may not be present every time the misbehavior happens so poor supervision may be the real reason why a misbehavior continues to exist because the misbehavior is done frequently when we are not looking or supervising. We may think that we are being consistent when in fact our assumed consistent punishment really seems and is ineffectual because it is really inconsistent.

 

Enforced immediately following the behavior:

Immediate punishment which can merely be a loud “no!” is desirable for very young offspring. Delayed punishment is bad for very young offspring because they are much more impulsive in their behavior and must immediately be disciplined for maximum impact or effectiveness. With older offspring some delays are inevitable because it may be the wrong time, place, or circumstance and the punishment will have to start at a later or delayed time.

 

Helpful in teaching what to do:

Teaching the right behavior by an example to be imitated is one approach to constructive punishment. Giving a reason why it is appropriate behavior beyond saying it is just the correct behavior is another approach to constructive punishment.

Reasoning, you can say that yelling or shouting is not right in this circumstance because it annoys, disturbs, or shocks other humans or it steals their right to a peaceful, calm environment without unnecessary stress. It steals their right to a secure and predictable environment free of potential danger or threats of danger since shouting sometimes causes fear reactions. It is not the right time, place, or circumstance to be loud or yelling.

 

Not sources of additional wanted attention:

Some offspring are starved for affection of some kind which is rarely given and prefer punishment to no attention at all. Others just like to be noticed or be the center of attention. For these among other reasons offspring may misbehave to attract the attention of other siblings, parents, peers, and hopefully not law enforcement officers.

Daring one to misbehave is sometimes viewed as a brave or courageous act of rebellion against behavioral norms and is valued by gangs, cults, and deviant individuals. Of course a dare can also be a means to get another human into trouble with authority figures so it can be a plan to harm or injure someone intentionally.

Dare: v. to courageously do a subset(s) without permission and/or a legal right

 

PUNISHMENT DOES NOT WORK WHEN IT IS:

Mindless or inappropriate:

Sources of anxiety, pain, rage, or fear:

Inconsistently enforced:

Delayed:

Dependent on the presence of the enforcer:

Unclear or do not teach a lesson:

Sources of additional attention:

 

Mindless or inappropriate:

This is when the punishment

is not adjusted to the severity of the misbehavior timewise and/or

is (emotionally impactful and/or harsh) to the wrong degree and/or

has no consideration of the effectiveness of previous similar incidents and/or

is the wrong time, place, or circumstance to be enforced.

 

Sources of anxiety, pain, rage, or fear:

This is highly inaccurate since a fear of punishment to some degree is necessary for a punishment to be effective especially when a threat of punishment is communicated. If there is no fear of punishment then the badness or wrongness of the misbehavior does not register mentally to the degree necessary to effectively stop future similar misbehaviors.

Physical pain is only rarely necessary to effectively stop immorality or repetitive lying or stealing in very young offspring. If the child rages or has a temper tantrum then it is a specific individual reaction to a stimulus or circumstance and rarely the fault of the parent.

Rage: n. very intense anger which frequently includes a violent behavior(s)

 

If your offspring rages every time that you punish then there is something emotionally unstable or wrong with them. If your offspring fear your punishment then you are probably using abusive punishment tactics or maybe hitting them too hard or too often.

 

Inconsistently enforced:

Inconsistency can mean not punishing a misbehavior every time it exists or not being the same punishment in degree or kind.

As a parent you may not be present every time the misbehavior happens so poor supervision may be the real reason why a misbehavior continues to exist because the misbehavior is done when we are not looking or supervising. We may think that we are being consistent when in fact our assumed consistent punishment really seems and is ineffectual because it is in reality inconsistent.

Wild swings in the severity of the punishment for a given misbehavior or an unpredictable kind of punishment each time a misbehavior exists could be considered to be inconsistent punishment and can sometimes create confusion, uncertainty, misunderstanding, or irrational fear in the offendor.

 

Delayed:

Delayed punishment is bad for very young offspring but with older offspring some delays are inevitable because it may be the wrong time, place, or circumstance and the punishment will have to start at a later or delayed time.

 

Dependent on the presence of the enforcer:

It is a sad fact of life and human nature that the temptation to misbehave increases when not in the presence of an authority figure who can enforce the rules. This is why it is so important to teach moral behavior and cultural norms to young impressionable offspring so that they learn to impulsively behave the right way when they are away from an authority figure.

Neglected, undisciplined, misbehaving offspring are increasing in numbers because of bad supervision in their early formative years by parents. Teenage neglect by working parents is added to deviant peer pressure to misbehave and both are reasons for the increasing immaturity and irresponsibility of the younger generations when they become adults.

 

Unclear or do not teach a lesson:

Don’t teach what is the right thing to do is really all that this should mean. Unfortunately most parents do not often give rational explanations for why behaving is the right thing to do and misbehaving is the wrong thing to do.

Do it because I say so or because I am the rule enforcer and must be respected is good enough reason for very young impressionable offspring but the older they get the more important it becomes to start giving them rational or reasonable answers when they ask -Why should I do it your way? or Why is something which I am doing bad?

 

Sources of additional attention:

Bad behavior does attract attention as proved by some popular celebrities. They  would rather be talked about doing something bad or deviant then not talked about at all or ignored. Neglected offspring sometimes misbehave to attract parental attention, disapproval, and punishment which is apparently better than being totally ignored or neglected.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1098!!!

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If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4200 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

 

UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 508!!!

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FotorCreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 507!!!

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FotorCreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 506!!!

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FotorCreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 505!!!

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FotorCreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 504!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 503!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 502!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 501!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 499!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 498!!!

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8 IMPORTANT FACTORS IN CLOSE GOOD RELATIONSHIPS!!!

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If you have integrity and are trustworthy, dependable, competent, friendly, and empathetic then your chances of forming close, good relationships is optimized. Being immoral and having many bad habits or one or more severe handicapping bad addictions will almost always ruin the possibility of close, good relationships. That being said there are 8 important factors which affect the strength of a bonding relationship:

TRUST:

Trust is the most important bonding characteristic which makes a relationship possible in the first place. Being honest, sincere, and moral or having integrity means that a relationship can potentially flourish if nurtured further.

Lie, steal, or commit adultery and trust can’t exist. Some dysfunctional relationships continue to exist without trust because of fear of abandonment or the fear of physical violence but these relationships are definitely not good or happy ones.

COMMUNICATION:

A relationship is threatened and often ruined if the communication is very bad, if there is very little of it, and definitely ruined when there is no communication at all.

Ideal communication is being a good listener, asking relevant questions, being relatively brief in responses, respecting opposing opinions or beliefs, not being verbally abusive or offensive, and interrupting or changing the subject if the conversation becomes too verbose, too trivial, too emotional, or irrelevant.

RESPECT:

If you have integrity then you will be respected but respect can also be increased with appropriate kindness, gratitude, caring, empathy, openness, listening, dependability, responsibility, competence, expertise, confidence, tolerance of opposing opinions and beliefs, and respect increases by not being verbally or physically abusive. A socially prominent respected human will often also be admired.

RESPONSIBILITY:

A responsible human accepts the consequences of his or her actions and does not try to find excuses or blame others for his or her own mistakes and failures. Moral, parental, behavioral, and financial responsibility is essential for a good relationship.

COOPERATION:

Sharing and/or compromising on parental, household, and financial responsibilities is the essence of what cooperation is. Mutually agreeing on what is to be done by who at what time is what cooperation between two or more individuals means. Whether it is between two individuals or an entire team or organization a good relationship depends on successful cooperation.

BEING GOOD ROLE MODELS:

A good relationship thrives if the participants in the relationship are good role models. This is particularly important in parenting where offspring will do what you do rather than do what you tell them to do. Words are rather weak motivators if your personal behavior and your words don’t match up. If you are a good friend then associate with humans who are also good friends or try to mostly have relationships with good role model humans.

Realistically not that many are good role models and you will also have to learn how to interact with quite a few bad role models in the course of a lifetime without becoming overly cynical, jaded, or spoiled.

INDIVIDUAL FREEDOM:

In any relationship one must respect individual interests and pursuits which make a relationship interesting and potentially more rewarding. Encouraging or motivating someone to pursue their individual interests and build upon their strengths is usually good for a relationship.

PATIENCE:

Not every problem or confrontation needs an urgent solution. Sometimes some research, further discussion, consulting with competent adults, and just letting more time to pass determines whether mutual agreement is possible or whether a live and let live attitude is preferable.

Transient angry confrontations should be minimized by patiently waiting until a given situation can be calmly discussed instead. Angry confrontations often cause insults, put downs, name calling, humiliation, and ridicule which just creates bad feelings and no resolution of the conflict.  

Important problems with potential solutions need patient waiting until enough information and resolve grows to a point where a solution is obvious and possible.

Most parental relationships have a dominant or controlling partner who makes most of the important family decisions and runs the risk of becoming too tyrannical and impulsive with her or his demands. Emotional patience is often a virtue and patiently doing something is less of a virtue especially if it takes the form of procrastination on too many things.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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8 PRINCIPLES OF SMART PARENTING!!!

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BE GOOD ROLE MODELS AND SURROUND YOUR OFFSPRING WITH GOOD ADULT ROLE MODELS AND PROMOTE INTERACTION WITH GOOD ROLE MODEL FRIENDS:

Offspring primarily learn from what you and others do, not say, so try to surround your offspring with humans who are good and are doing good things. Try to keep the exposure to bad role models to a minimum and that includes bad role models in the media.

INTRODUCE OFFSPRING EARLY TO THE KNOWLEDGE AND TOOLS NEEDED IN SCHOOL AND THEIR ENVIRONMENT:

Schooling is of primary importance so start early teaching your preschool offspring the alphabet, words, numbers, and big pictures of wildlife or animals and plants, household objects, and vehicles.

Read them stories about real humans doing interesting things in their environment. Stories about animals and plants, vehicles, and household objects are ideal.

Provide them with crayons, paper, and coloring books followed by colored pencils and paper to do their doodles.

Keep computer interaction to a minimum until they reach school age since early on offspring should be learning about and from their physical environment rather than from a computer screen.

It is best if you can supervise or participate with your offspring doing these things together but a nanny or older offspring can also do this for you.

ENCOURAGE TACTILE INTERACTION WITH THE ENVIRONMENT:

Buy interactive toys such as dolls, animals, action figurines, cars, trucks, trains, building blocks or Legos, and balls.

Brain body coordination is very important in offspring development so expose your offspring to the environment and all the things in it as soon as possible.

SPEND SOME TIME INTERACTING WITH INDIVIDUAL OFFSPRING ALONE:

Each offspring craves individual attention and individual interaction will help you to bond and get to know your offspring’s uniqueness compared to other offspring which you may also have. Conversing with your offspring one on one will further his or her communication skills and knowledge. Ask your offspring many questions and get them into the habit of asking you questions too, especially if you feel there is not much to talk about.

ESTABLISH RULES AND SET LIMITS CREATING SELFCONTROL OVER OFFSPRING’S OWN RESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOR.

Teaching offspring to be selfcontrolled and responsible for their own behavior is important. Obeying rules gives them a sense of security and knowing how far they can go before a vital rule is broken.

Putting away toys before bedtime, personal hygiene, dressing oneself, putting plates and utensils in the dishwasher or sink after finishing eating, and teaching or learning to share with other offspring are vital rules on the way to more independent behavior.

Conflicts over rules can arise and you can assert your parental authority, give in if it is important to the offspring but not so much to you, compromise if both are happy with it, and problem solve where you discuss the situation and reach a consensus or a solution acceptable to both sides.

This is not common parenting procedure but if you can teach your offspring to SCHEDULE their own time by the clock each day such as time with friends, time with homework, time alone, time on the computer, learning something new time, time with a hobby, play time, etc. then they will learn to value their time in life and at work eventually and not be wasteful or inefficient with it.

MONITOR OR SUPERVISE OFFSPRING:

Make sure you know where they are, with whom they are, and what they are doing to make sure they are doing things safely and responsibly.

Promote your offspring’s responsible independence.

Don’t micromanage your offspring’s life during the school years because he or she must learn to ultimately behave independently and responsibly on their own and an overprotective attitude can harm this independence in the long duration.

DISCIPLINE:

If something is illegal, immoral, unhealthy, unsafe, offensive, too expensive, or not the right time, place, and social environment then I won’t let you do that is the right approach and you will be punished with withdrawal of a privilege temporarily and/or a severe scolding if a bad behavior is repeating too often.

Be consistent in your expectations and present a unified front as parents so that offspring do not try to play one parent against the other.

Mommy lets me do this so why don’t you? or Daddy lets me do this so why don’t you?

How to punish and the ideal way of punishing:

The quick way is to just say if you do that again then your punishment will be withdrawal of a privilege, or even a spanking for lying or stealing again for  very young offspring. Rarely a belt to the butt for a stealing teenager is necessary if taking away a cellphone or computer privileges does not work.

Ideally you identify the bad behavior, state why it is wrong, give alternative behaviors which are acceptable or may reach the same goals, a clear statement of what the punishment is going to be, and a statement of the expectation that it will not happen again. This approach is for smart educated parents.

Anger is inevitable but try to avoid insults, put downs, name calling, humiliation, and ridicule when it comes to disciplining your offspring.

Consistency in enforcing important rules is very desirable but realize that in the real world, except for immoral behavior, there are always one or two or more exceptions to your rules depending on the time, place, and social environment.

EXPLAIN YOUR RULES AND DECISIONS:

This is very hard to do because for most the reason for the rules and decisions was probably almost never explained by your parents either. So the explanation is that it is ILLEGAL, IMMORAL, UNHEALTHY,UNSAFE, OFFENSIVE, TOO EXPENSIVE, OR NOT THE RIGHT TIME, PLACE AND SOCIAL ENVIRONMENT.

Other possible explanations are that it takes too much parental time, energy, and money or that the offspring is wasting too much time, energy, and money doing something. You are living an inefficient life if you spend too much time, energy, and money on relatively unimportant things.

Another explanation may be that the family has priorities or important things to do or consider and what offspring are trying to do does not fit those important priorities and can basically be considered trivial shit.

A whole book can be written on what is offensive in public, what is offensive behavior to parents, to humans in general, and offensive to certain humans in particular. If an offspring offends either parent then it is probably bad behavior as long as the parent identifies it as being rude, unkind, cruel, mean, insulting, name calling, a put down, humiliation, ridicule, selfish or uncaring, lazy, bragging, messy, arrogant, irresponsible, disrespectful, etc.. Few parents can identify words and match them to behavior successfully so just saying it offends me or someone else should be enough of a reason in most cases when you can’t explain in detail.

One authority figure said a rule and decision must be reasonable, logical, and consistent but frankly there is no definition of reason and logical so this is just stupid intellectual advice or no advice at all.

The best advice is to try and talk about a rule or decision and get the offspring’s point of view. If it makes intuitive sense to the parent then there may be room for compromise or- rule or decision adjustment.

SUMMARY:

In the United States parenting is getting harder and not easier to do in an increasingly immoral and technologically changing society which challenges almost all the accepted rules of behavior or accepted norms, customs, and traditions of society.

Gambling, drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, pornography, deception, lying and irresponsible behavior tempts offspring at every turn and threatens to turn into severe handicapping addictions. Try to isolate very young offspring from these bad influences as long as possible.

If you are a flawed human with too many bad addictions yourself then consider not having any offspring at all who will just practice those same addictions when they grow up. If you are a dysfunctional human then you will be a dysfunctional parent so unless you can get your shit together don’t even think about having offspring before you straighten yourself out first.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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THE TRUTH ABOUT THE EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM!!!

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The four most important factors affecting educational excellence are the quality of the teachers, the quality or usefulness of the education, the amount of money available for educational resources, and the moral quality of the students and parents in the educational system.

The quality of the teachers is a function of their educational achievement level and teaching ability or an ability to inspire students to do their best in the teacher’s field of expertise.

The quality or usefulness of the education is important because non technological fields are increasingly job poor and mostly a waste of time, energy, and money. Educational priorities must urgently be changed in public education to assure job readiness which may mean the introduction of more vocational and technological training programs earlier in the educational process and much less emphasis on team sports, music, drama or theater, languages, history, and the liberal arts in general.

The amount of money available for teacher’s salaries and educational equipment like computers and lab supplies is also very important but poor school districts not only struggle with less money but many bad teachers and also with offspring coming from dysfunctional families. Money alone will not solve the huge basic social drawbacks of offspring coming from dysfunctional and often immoral families.

The quality of the students depends somewhat on genetic inheritance but much can be achieved with a hard working moral family to back up the student. Unfortunately in poor neighborhoods there are many terrible parental unemployed role models, bad adult role models, and bad friend role models often pushing drug use, disrespect, and irresponsible behavior in general.

Interactive useful audio visual interactive computer education available to students in poor neighborhoods is the ultimate solution which will supply the potential for equal opportunity for all citizens if they put in the time, effort, and achievement necessary. Also this useful audio visual interactive computer education should be made available to all unemployed and destitute humans at any age so that they too see some hope out of their seemingly hopeless poor social circumstances.

However, the dysfunctional social environment of a poor neighborhood still has to be addressed with a universal secular moral code taught to all impressionable young student minds.

Teacher’s unions may extort more money from the school system but their emphasis on seniority and not inspirational teacher excellence is a major drawback. Also union general resistance to educational change to useful audio visual interactive computer instruction are severe handicapping tendencies which stifle educational necessary innovation.

Equal educational opportunity for all the citizens, no matter what the age, in poor neighborhoods is the only long duration system which will be more just than the present status quo handicapping existence or system!!!

 

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8 PRINCIPLES OF NEGOTIATION OR COMPROMISE!!!

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Some things are nonnegotiable:

First of all it is important to realize that some things are just not negotiable and if you must or want to impose your will then force or withdrawal of a privilege is the only possible solution although often a temporary one.

Try to compromise or negotiate with a terrorist or a religious fanatic who thinks your requests are those of the devil incarnate and you will fail miserably. Fanatical dogmatic beliefs are frankly nonnegotiable and you are delusional if you think that communication will lead to any changes in those beliefs unless you are in a superior military and monetary situation and can threaten or scare someone into submission with the fear of death or financial bankruptcy.

You rarely know ahead of time but sometimes there are nonnegotiable points or demands which the human will not change under any circumstances. You may prepare to give in to the nonnegotiable demand but get a concession in return or a promise to do something which you need or want and the human can provide you with. This too is a win win situation because you are still both getting something which you need or want.

I don’t intend to give pointers on international negotiations but the principles involved in individual negotiations or compromise also apply to some extent in international ones too.

Negotiations or compromises are statistical probabilities:

Another basic truth is that negotiations are a scientific statistical probability and not an absolute certainty. You can increase the probability of a successful negotiation but you can’t always guarantee it. You may use every trick, tip, or negotiation principle and still fail at reaching a compromise.

It greatly helps to have integrity, respect, and expertise:

One of the most important negotiation principles is being liked and/or respected by the humans with whom you are trying to negotiate. Military, economic, and moral strength are respected by national leaders but integrity and expertise are respected and sometimes even admired by common humans.

Integrity is something which should not be compromised and if you are asked to sacrifice your morality for some short duration goal then your reputation will be affected adversely. Lie, steal, commit adultery, or murder someone and you have lost your integrity as well as your good social reputation.

Exclude intense and not so intense emotions as much as possible:

Emotional outbursts or communicating with much emotion can doom a negotiation because any strong indication of anger or arrogance will cause impulsive defensive actions or basically saying no to everything. Stay as cool, calm, and collected as possible in total discussion mode. Also don’t come in with a strong emotional attitude of arrogance or superiority with cockiness, overconfidence, bluster, offensive personal attacks such as insults, put downs, name calling, humiliation, and ridicule. No deal will be the result.

Know your adversary as much as possible:

This means finding out all that you can about your adversary before the negotiation. What they believe, what they think, what they do and who their associates or friends are will give you an idea whether they are negotiating from weakness or from strength. If you don’t know all the vital details ahead of time then the negotiation itself is a time to ask smart questions which will reveal important beliefs, opinions, and relationships.

Use time to your advantage:

Sometimes you can yield to or refuse a demand for a day, week, month, or years after which you either agree to renegotiate or switch to getting your demand for another duration. Time has an interesting way of changing minds because sometimes during duration ongoing circumstances almost force one to compromise.

Decrease and/or increase the frequency and/or length of a behavior or activity:

Sometimes a family compromise is merely decreasing the frequency and/or length of a behavior or doing it less often and not so long. Both spouses may feel that one is spending too much time on a behavior or activity which is causing family problems or personal dissatisfaction. The compromise is to promise to exchange behavior reductions and to shop less or spend less time on sports.

Spending more time on a behavior or activity may also be a compromise. One spouse may promise to spend more time interacting with offspring and the other may promise to spend more time researching recipes for tasty new home meals.

The third form of compromise is one spouse promising to increase an activity or behavior and the other promising to decrease an activity or behavior.

Stop or promise to never do that behavior or activity again is another possibility in a compromise.

A good behavior or activity can be increased or decreased in frequency and duration during a compromise but a bad behavior or activity should only be decreased in frequency and duration in a compromise. Immoral behavior or activity should be stopped.

Using the herd instinct or desire to belong to a group:

Sometimes compromise is more successful if you can point to many humans who are doing what you need or want to be done by a human. Peer or group pressure is sometimes a disadvantage in parental negotiations but if peers or groups are doing something right or it is something that you approve of then you can try to use peer or group pressure in a negotiation.

Stay focused on your goal(s):

Some aggressive negotiators, especially high pressure saleshumans, will try to intimidate, ignore, or cleverly change the subject to get you to say yes so try not to lose your focus on the goal(s) which you actually need or want and not those which you don’t want or need.

During a negotiation I had to repeat myself four times or ask one car salesman what was my yearly interest on a car loan based on a $3000 down payment. He ignored me or changed the subject four times before he finally came up with a printout in writing.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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MEN ARE APPRECIATED AND SOMETIMES LOVED WHEN THEY DO THESE 22 THINGS!!!

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Men are appreciated when they do something for a woman, when they enjoy sharing interactions or experiences with their woman, or when they do something manly.

Doing things for a woman may be

making a date,

arranging a trip,

scheduling a walk,

giving desired, enjoyable, appropriate gifts,

giving an affectionate kiss or caress,

giving compliments for looks, a choice of clothes, or a tasty meal preparation,

doing a household chore like cooking,

empathizing and giving emotional support after a hard day at home or on the job,

doing the woman a favor not ordinarily done,

getting a better job which is giving more financial support, and

fixing something broken around the house.

 

Sharing parental responsibilities like

teaching reading and math to young offspring,

playing with them,

helping with homework,

going to interesting places like amusement parks, museums, exhibitions, county fairs, concerts, movies, etc.,

sharing household chores,

sex, and

sharing shopping experiences.

 

Manly things are

enjoying sports,

reading technical books,

pursuing a hobby, and

having interesting male friends.

These are considered manly things but what they really are just things predominantly enjoyed by males in a culture but they are also enjoyed by some women.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 420!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 414!!!

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8 PRINCIPLES TO FOLLOW FOR A BETTER MARRIAGE!!!

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LEARN TO COMPROMISE AND COOPERATE:

Most important is to learn the art of compromise or cooperation. Sometimes this involves the sharing of household chores or responsibilities and offspring raising responsibilities. Sometimes it means mutually sacrificing some pleasant time for the benefit of the family unit.

An example of compromise or an exchange of mutual sacrifice may be as follows. The husband may ask the wife to sacrifice something and the wife may ask the husband to sacrifice something in return. For example, the husband may sacrifice some pleasant time with his buddies or watching sports to spend more time reading to, playing with, and helping offspring with homework. In exchange the wife may sacrifice some time and save money by not shopping for clothes and jewelry so often.

Sharing the household chores by both spouses is possible. Cooperating or assigning responsibility for a given household chore to one spouse is the common way of doing things so you don’t have to alternate responsibilities on a daily or weekly basis. In either case it can be seen as both spouses sacrificing their time and energy or fulfilling their responsibilities in a cooperative way.

The compromise is really an exchange of behavioral changes. “If you do this which is what I want then I will do what you want.” Priorities are changed in each compromise and your old priorities or what you spent most of your time with will change and make room for other priorities considered to now be more important.

Most compromises and cooperative behaviors initially may feel like sacrifices of pleasant old habits which are hard to change unless you have an optimistic courageous attitude that the change is for the better and the new modified habit or changed behavior is really going to be mutually beneficial.

Out with the old and in with the new viewed courageously and enthusiastically is the key to successful happy compromises. In effect, the time, energy, and money spent on an old habit will be modified and more time, energy, and money will be spent on the new now preferred habit.

Compromising can really be thought of as an ability to cooperate in a relationship so that both parties mutually benefit in some way.

TRY TO RESOLVE CONFLICTS WITH DISCUSSION RATHER THAN ARGUMENTS.

If there is a conflict or difference of opinion then you can seek to resolve it, ignore it, or learn to live with the differences of opinion or agree to disagree. How important the issue is should determine whether there is an urgent need to resolve it or if it is rather insignificant and can be ignored for some time without serious consequences. If the issue is not urgent and important then switching from argument mode to discussion mode is the preferred way to do it.

Arguments are confrontational with aggressive words and defensive verbal reactions which inflame emotions and make it harder to agree on something because it is a winner take all approach, or one side must win and the other side must lose. Sometimes the urgency is so great that immediate action is necessary and there is no time for smart discussion and you may have to give in to an emotional fit.

When a problem is not that urgent then there is time for discussion which may last a few minutes or hour and the problem may be resolved over the course of a few days or even few weeks. Sometimes a problem must be researched or a resolving opinion gotten from a friend so one time discussions are not always the rule but in fact rather infrequent because most serious problems need much time to resolve and this means resolution within a few days or few weeks.

Discussion is not easy to learn because one spouse may be very verbal and talk their head off while the other may be one with few words and not very skillful with give and take conversation.

Most arguments are about not doing something which should be done or about doing something bad which shouldn’t be done. Women are usually the ones trying to make you feel guilty about never doing something or always doing what they consider to be bad.

The key to conflict resolution is sometimes a question of doing something more frequently or not doing something as frequently since old habits die hard and are not easy to change overnight. Sometimes conflict resolution is promising to do something more often or not doing something so often since completely eliminating or radically changing the behavior is usually almost impossible to do realistically. Women who try to change their husband’s behavior overnight or with incessant nagging are doomed to fail so it is a good idea not to marry someone with too many behavioral drawbacks which need reforming.

FORGIVE AND TRY TO FORGET:

Confrontational attacking emotional arguments demonstrating verbal aggression can quickly degenerate into insults, name calling, put downs, and ridicule which hurt feelings and elicit vengeful defensive feelings. Being called stupid, crazy, worthless, scum bag, etc. really need an apology sooner or later so forgiving one for these transgressions is often vital to maintaining respect or trust in a relationship.

If it is not an unforgiveable moral transgression such as lying or adultery the behavior can usually be forgiven but trying to forget passionate insults, name calling, put downs, and ridicule is very hard to do realistically so try not to argue if arguing brings out the worst in you. Sometimes tone of voice is very important and there are sometimes nice ways to ridicule and put someone down without stirring up permanent vengeful feelings.

Crappy arguing should sometimes be forgiven with more than just an apology. A promise to do something nice may be the best solution to severely offending a spouse. Kiss and makeup are vital to a lasting marital relationship.

BE TRUTHFUL AND NOT VERY HURTFUL:

Never be afraid to reveal your true likes and dislikes to a spouse in a calm manner but be cautious not to utter something in intense emotional anger which you wish you could take back later but can’t once it leaves your mouth. An honest or truthful relationship will maintain an atmosphere of trust and respect so vital to a lasting relationship. A spouse will often forget what you did wrong given enough time but harsh words said in anger can leave permanent emotional scars which can last a lifetime.

STAY TRUE TO YOUR CORE MORAL VALUES:

Despite differences in personality and viewpoints it is important to maintain your core values such as integrity, dependability, promise fulfillment, loyalty, faithfulness, and friendliness. You can offend once in a while, make mistakes occasionally, and do some bad things along the way but you should never lie or commit adultery which are the most important core moral values.

PLAY BY THE RULES:

Each household has rules which are basically household responsibilities to be carried out by each spouse. Sharing in household responsibilities and/or a division of work or household responsibilities is the way that responsibilities are usually divided up. In no situation should one radically feel that they are doing all the work or have all the responsibilities and the other partner has none or very little.

SUPPORT INDIVIDUAL INTERESTS:

There is nothing as nice as having shared interests such as offspring to maintain a bonding relationship in marriage but there are marriages where each spouse may have very important interests outside the family and these should be encouraged as much as possible.

Encouraging the growth of outside interests makes for an interesting relationship which should never get boring since there is always something new to discuss which one spouse has not experienced. Very dependent interactive relationships can last a long time but independent activity can lead to more fulfilling lives for both spouses and a great pride in personal accomplishment too.

Two working spouses is increasingly becoming the norm for financial reasons alone and even though there is a risk that career priorities may lead to a geographical breakup of a relationship the ultimate resolution of the potential problem may be to relocate geographically to the area where one spouse will be making the largest income.

BE FINANCIALLY RESPONSIBLE:

One of the major reasons for divorce is financial instability which is caused by having offspring too soon or spending too much money during marriage, getting into overwhelming debt, and having to declare both financial and marital bankruptcy.

Budgeting money is the key to not overspending on big cars, big houses, many clothes, too much eating out and expensive vacations.

With the technological revolution job security is no longer a guarantee for a lifetime so continual selfeducation or learning new useful skills for a job are becoming increasingly vital to stay financially afloat.

Financial recklessness or irresponsibility will make a bad relationship worse and terminal and a good relationship is not really possible in the real world.  If you can’t control your money then you will not be able to control your relationship successfully.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 500!!!

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If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 350!!!

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If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3200 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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THE TRUTH ABOUT ABANDONMENT+

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Abandonment: n. departing from a lifeform(s) and/or a subset(s) frequently permanently

You can abandon offspring, a pet, or an unsafe house and it is frequently a permanent action.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 2700 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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THE TRUTH ABOUT GROAN*

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Groan: v. to make a low frequency inarticulate sound expressive of (pain and/or grief) and/or (disappointment and/or undesired (commands and/or requests))

Sometimes an articulate “owe!” is superimposed on a groan because of pain and an articulate “oh!”, “oh no!”, or “oh my!” is superimposed on a groan signaling large disappointment or grief. Offspring will sometimes groan when asked to do something unpleasant or when commanded to do something which they don’t want to do right away.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 2200 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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THE TRUTH ABOUT INNOCEMSEX*

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Innocemsex (minor): n. the right of a minor not to see deviant adult sexual behavior and not to be (motivated and/or threatened) and/or forced to interact sexually before he or she becomes an adult with full reproductive rights and/or the right not to steal minor sexual innocence

Frequently claimed as a right to free speech is the right to view sexually explicit material including pornography by adults.

Just as true is the fact that exposing very young offspring to pornography and deviant sexual activity can result in an adult leading a life of sexual debauchery unable to establish healthy moral committed relationships with the opposite sex. Minors should have the right to be exposed to moral free speech and pedofilia is not moral free speech.

There should be a right to shelter minors from sexual participation or the viewing of deviant sexual activity and that is what the word innocemsex means or the right of a minor to censored sexual behavior.

Pedofiles or adults wanting to have sex with minors is viewed negatively by most cultures and justifiably so. Pedofilia is stealing a minor’s sexual innocence and it should be a crime everywhere.

Deviant adult sexual behavior subject to censorship for minors can vary in definition from culture to culture but my recommendation is to consider the natural sex act between male and female, face to face or back to face, as the standard sexual acts and deviance from it would be the use of artificial sexual aids such as dildos, rectum copulation, maybe even penis sucking, and orgies which all may be entertainment and kinky deviance for adults but in my opinion not appropriate for minor viewing or participation.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 2000 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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REVOLUTIONARY DISCOVERY: BABIES MINDS ARE VERY LOGICAL!!!

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If you think your babies mind is mush to be filled in with your teaching about what the world is really like then you will radically change your mind after viewing this great video by Laura Schulz on two revolutionary baby experimental approaches. If you are a parent of young offspring then you should greatly enjoy this video and really be amazed by the new knowledge about babies!

Babies and young offspring think better than many grown adults who are not very logical in their behavior and thinking processes thanks to an archaic educational system which just tries to turn everyone into another brick in the wall of human ignorance!

http://www.ted.com/talks/laura_schulz_the_surprisingly_logical_minds_of_babies

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THE TRUTH ABOUT UNTRUTH*

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Untruth (General): n. a subset(s) which has existed with a minimal and inaccurate number of logical correspondences and/or has a relatively large probability of existing in the future with a minimal and inaccurate number of logical correspondences

 

Untruth (Judicial) (Unjtruth): n. not a relevant (fact(s) and/or concept(s)) and/or fiction(s) which may be used to prove beyond a reasonable doubt the (deceptive and/or lying) and/or fraudulent nature of something through evidence and/or testimony by (deceptive and/or lying) and/or fraudulent humans and it may include non-relevant unstruth or untrue testimony by (deceptive and/or lying) and/or fraudulent specialists in their field.

Unstruth may therefore be a subset of judicial unjtruth during a trial. The reputation of a specialist and his testimony is no longer the only information needed to convict a criminal nor is it just to force or use the threat of force to put one in a mental institution beyond a reasonable doubt. Relevant factual evidence, audio and/or visual, is now necessary to jail a criminal or to put one in a mental institution in the new world organization!!! A claim of violence on self is no longer valid unless supported by picture or video evidence since the reputation of many is questionable these days in the mythical existence of almost all people. If you have an abusive spouse or acquaintance install an audio visual camera in your home or get an audio recording device to prove what you are witnessing is true beyond a reasonable doubt!!!

 

Untruth (Scientific) (Unstruth): n. a subset(s) not proven by the scientific method

 

If it is true that about 31% lie on their resume and about 80% of women tell half truths then this is the primary reason why society is suffering from immorality and its consequential relationship breakdown in the modern western countries. The more truthful a society, the more moral and cohesive relationship wise it becomes. The more untruths that society suffers from the worst are its human relationships!!!!!!

It is time for a secular morality which is except in emergency situations- don’t destroy biodiversity, DON’T LIE, don’t be inefficient, don’t steal, don’t commit adultery if married, and don’t murder!!!!!!

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THE TRUTH ABOUT UNRULY*

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Unruly: adj. disobeying rules and frequently shown with overt disobedience and/or undisciplined behavior(s)

Unruly offspring are the most common but adults can be unruly too and at the extreme end they can participate in rioting.  Most rules are broken nonviolently but violent behavior is very serious rule breaking and is frequently punished by the law.

Break any rule and there is usually some form of punishment associated with the rule breaking. For offspring it may be denial of a privilege for duration such as grounding. For adults it may be getting fired from a job, social censure or even ostracism, and in violent rule breaking there may even be fines or imprisonment associated with the unruliness.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1600 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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THE TRUTH ABOUT VESTING+

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Vest: v. to give authority to do and/or possess a subset(s) and/or a set(s)

 

If you have a vested interest in something(s) such as equity in the stock market that means that you probably own some part of that subset(s) such as some property and/or some equity. Of course you could theoretically own all the stock equity in a public corporation but that is usually not done and is reserved for private corporations only.

 

Parents also have a vested interest in their offspring and own them to some extent and have the right to demand certain proper social behavior from them to avoid public embarrassment, censure, criticism, or ostracism.

 

A vested interest in a sport, profession, or activity(s) also means that you have some ownership rights and frequently want that activity(s) to thrive for your benefit and the benefit of others.

Vested interests are the reason for the status quo approach by most who are afraid to lose their vested interests if changes are made in politics, education, economics, law, agriculture, theoretical science, sociology, sports, medicine, psychiatry, relationships, manufacturing, business, and any entrenched profession for that matter.

Necessary change means a change in vested interests and it is obvious some of these vested interests will get hurt financially and so resistance persists until crises demand definitive changes and the present circumstances are no longer tolerable or tolerated by almost anyone.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1600 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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THE TRUTH ABOUT REPRIMANDS+

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Reprimand: v. to officially criticize for disobedience and/or bad behavior(s) but the criticism can also be done informally

 

Many are officially criticized for disobedience and/or bad behavior frequently in private in an organization or corporation and this is a reprimand.

 

Parents frequently also criticize their offspring for disobedience and/or bad behavior and this can be considered to be an informal reprimand by a parent performing his or her responsibility or duty to let the offspring know that they have crossed the line of good behavior in some way.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1600 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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THE TRUTH ABOUT UXORICIDE+

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Uxoricide:  n. willfully and forcibly stealing one’s wife’s life

 

The definition is merely legalese for a husband murdering his wife or one of the many forms of homicide.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1600 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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8 COMMENTS ON 8 OF 17 AMUSING KID QUOTES COMPILED BY HOLLIS MILLER!!!

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Young offspring are frequently more truthful than their parents, relatives, or friends and will come up with some truly embarrassing truisms telling it like it really is and not how society wants things to be viewed as through colored glasses, deceptions, or myths.

Here is the complete article from huffingtonpost.com

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/05/06/the-funniest-thing-your-kid-said_n_7213254.html?ncid=newsltushpmg00000003

My comments follow. See if you agree, disagree, or partially agree:

On comment 2 the three year old daughter is obviously not part of a nudist family and thinks that penises should be hidden at home.

On comment 4 the three year old playing with a doll who can’t stand up vents her frustration and it is all due to cheap and incomplete unrealistic doll manufacturing which can be greatly improved though the cost would also have to be greater and maybe make it unaffordable for the family to purchase.

On comment 5 it is a reflection of outdated thinking by an elderly coach who still thinks that all shoes should be tied with laces and not modern Velcro laces.

On comment 7 a three year old daughter is already stereo typecast and feels mom should play with the doll that does the dishes which is stereotyped as being women’s work.

On comment 9 a three year old daughter asks her dad if boys and girls can wear dresses. Dad answers yes and the daughter says it’s not your style already being typecast into thinking that men shouldn’t wear dresses.

On comment 13 a four year old gets bored with a new junk cup in one day and honestly answers “Here, Mama. This is the worst cup I have ever seen.”

On comment 16 a creative 9 year old boy is told that saying “shut up” will hurt feelings so he honestly answers when he can’t take the incessant talking anymore-“Silence you peasant!”

On comment 17 a five year old daughter knows the meaning of the dollar and its association with work. Instead of pausing to chat with the daughter the daughter admonishes her mom to go back to work because she has many things that she wants her mom to buy for her.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1500 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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THE TRUTH ABOUT RIGGING+

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Rig: v. to give an unjust advantage to one side of a conflict(s) and/or competition

Humans have frequently complained that a game, sport, election, or competition was rigged. Sometimes humans complain that a family conflict was rigged by other family members against them or that there was in fact some unjust advantage in the circumstance.

Gambling is rigged to favor the house and sometimes family members gang up on one family member and in effect make for an unjust or rigged argument or conflict which needs solving.

The court system is rigged in favor of the wealthy who can afford good lawyers and your education is rigged if you get a bad one in a bad neighborhood compared to an average education in a middle class neighborhood. We all know that the most wealthy send their offspring off to expensive private schools so the whole educational system is rigged to favor the monied class.

What can be done to solve this seemingly insurmountable dilemma? Make free useful technological education free over the internet to anyone at any age who is willing to put in the time, effort, achievement, and ability to learn new useful job skills.

Provide cramped housing and computers for free to the loners and families who are destitute and unemployed no matter what age and from whatever social background. Deliver their standardized basic needs door to door with private efficient delivery companies.

This way some will be able to learn their way out of poverty no matter what the socioeconomic class they are in. None of them will be cruising the world in their private vehicles looking for fun and adventure at taxpayer’s expense.

That is truly a just efficient solution to the educational and economic problem of inequality. Don’t like your socioeconomic status in this world? Then learn hard and mentally work your way out of your dire predicament and the sooner the better!!!!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1500 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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SHARING A REVOLUTIONARY NEW WAY TO EAT AT HOME!!!

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Make a meal or new recipe and you find out that some member of the family does not like the meal. The solution is to fill the refrigerator with organic food such as whole milk, organic eggs, fresh fish for sushi meals or steak tartar, and fill the pantry and kitchen cabinets with organic spices, unsweetened food products, organic pasta, organic unsweetened cereals, organic unsweetened snacks such as nuts, seeds, beans, blue corn tortilla chips, quinoa chips, etc. and let each family member prepare their own food only when they are hungry. 

Stop treating offspring with candy and sweet deserts which creates an unnatural sweet tooth craving and the resultant unhealthy overload of unnatural sweetened food products on supermarket shelves. The long duration effect is unhealthy overly sweet eating habits which damage long duration health. Switch to organic unprocessed naturally sweet fruits as treats for your offspring instead!!!!!!

 

Family members can choose anything that they want to eat from the refrigerator, freezer, or pantry. No offspring will overeat again and may even be eating many times a day or snacking on what they personally like the best and not on some stupid artificial recipe which requires much frying and cooking and usually results in many greasy dishes.

As early as possible offspring should be taught to be their own personal chefs making food which they like the best from the food which you provide for the home and judiciously shop for when at the supermarket.

Let family members make their own soups with as many ingredients as possible in them with organic noodles, pasta, rice, beans, etc. that they like, diced meats and fish that they like, the organic spices which they like in the quantities that they like, with an assortment of diced organic vegetables which they like, and provide organic fruits in the open on the kitchen counter top for healthy snacking during the day. Healthy soups should be a mixture of as many tasty ingredients as possible because if you add one tasty ingredient to another the result is a tasty byproduct.

Family meals are an archaic tradition which should come to a speedy end!!!!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1500 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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SHARING 42 CUTE INSPIRING WILD ANIMALS WITH YOUNG AND YOUNG WILD ANIMALS!!!

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1abef8d7-df3a-47c7-bf0f-fe026827caa9 1N-coyote 02 3af21bab-e33a-4e08-a455-fe38be9984c7 7c57550bdb1d19eca3870390d364e122 9c10c95f-40fb-42c5-bd10-cd3ab6f6c37c 9e8b5ec5f4fc803bfccc7ecebf19599b 9ec6550de2a03214cff9fd6391c20102 14 - 1 ۲۲ ه‍.ش. - 1 41e1d53ff4b3f1982a404fb6517162dd 60c3a478d9b1388f3250da65593e3bea 74f645ec0f939d2eeacce3eefd18f91f 95acb4b45186145db8636be9135abcfd 234ec03f054cafb8c5a0d8d08eccb20e 958cf5d017984bbfae9013d1adca59e3 2014-09-01 23.38.07 6566c0c0a4f85bba403939dfefdaae64 6629b605-681a-47f3-8d82-7502fed9d086 1468808_670019283043233_1451096117_n 1470005_667772083267953_325471834_n 1503218_664084300303398_347755823_n 5570540c0399abbe78d6f4291e5b7aac 10922652_1616732211888179_7340458908463007209_n a853ebaed761438c202e6926478487d5 ab0e842fae6fb705a84d7d81a3039223 b8da6523ad2b050f277f1e1e63f972d3 b908eca64169efa6a8e85331cb1501be bd0cf2007fc68a460cf8cf517a058bc2 c09d996a1bd981a8f0ea29e7d3d87d1a cc6d1cb5-7de3-4a76-afdb-10a356db3fec ceN8ejwpCvQb e8ce1343f843f04af0c36e9028b626fd ee1373a6cde7722d8cf5b16cb45b6a6d enhanced-buzz-11583-1335638637-7 enhanced-buzz-26191-1335638930-8 enhanced-buzz-26248-1335638746-8 enhanced-buzz-28030-1335638536-5 f645894ab2aeee75288949d423a39e67 IMG_4560 Moscow-Bears-Jpeg mother-polar-bear-and-cubs-national-park-canada

 

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WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS NOW IS MORE TRUST NOT MORE LOVE!!!!!!

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expensive trustt

Think about it. If you trust someone then you can also love someone but if you don’t trust someone then how can you love them? Love is a subset of trust and that means that trust is more important than love. Humans can love almost any human intensely for given durations but if you don’t trust them then the love that you experience with them can be very transitory.

What the world needs now is trust sweet trust, that’s the only thing that there is just too little of!!!!!!

 

Here is a recommendation of the things that you need to establish a trusting relationship, the magical bond which keeps humans attracted to one another!

 

Your actions are consistent or you don’t do one thing in one situation and another thing in the same situation latter on.

If your relationship is predictable then there is a greater probability that you will establish trust.

 

Your words match your deeds or you do what you say that you are going to do.

Actions speak louder than words and if you say one thing but do another then you will have a hard time establishing a trusting relationship.

 

You make promises that you can keep or you fulfill promises to the best of your ability.

Promise to show up on time or promise to do something and don’t then this is considered a lie about the future and your trusting relationship will be more tenuous if you don’t try your hardest to fulfill your promises.

 

You take responsibility for your decisions or if you make a mistake then you own up to it and maybe even apologize.

Managerial responsibility and parental responsibility and responsibility in general is essential if a trusting relationship will develop. Who wants to trust  an irresponsible, unpredictable human? Almost no one!

 

You don’t backstab or undercut those around you or you don’t try to cleverly manipulate humans and take credit for their good actions and don’t spread harmful rumors about humans for personal gain.

No one likes humans who take credit for their efforts in front of or behind their backs. No one likes to be manipulated behaviorally just to benefit someone’s personal gain, especially if bad rumors were spread about you to achieve those personal gains.

 

You don’t focus on yourself or don’t spend time bragging about yourself or your accomplishments or walking around with a haughty “I am better than you” attitude.

Trust develops better if a human is willing to share his or her success with others and is not obsessed with taking all the credit for it, especially in a boasting imperious way.

 

You monitor the success and welfare of your cohorts or notice how well humans who are important in your life are doing and guide or motivate them on to even greater success or wellbeing.

Being empathetic with the humans you influence or who surround you is important in developing trust because humans want to feel that you care about them personally.

 

You tell the truth in an honest sincere way avoiding harsh criticism, put downs, ridicule, and name calling.

I left this for last but it is the most important thing which you must have for trust to develop. Tell a lie, deceive a person with a partial lie, or tell untruths and a trusting relationship will not develop!

Honesty is almost always the best policy and it can be communicated in sincere ways which don’t hurt human feelings that much even when they may hurt feelings a little which is unavoidable reality.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1200 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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USEFUL TEACHING INFORMATION FOR PARENTS WITH YOUNG OFFSPRING!!!

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CELGC 08B - ChildUp.com

 

Not many parents are funny, have anecdotes, and interesting stories to tell their young offspring. This is why spending some time reading funny, anecdotal, interesting stories to your offspring is so important if you are a handicapped parent.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1200 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

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THE TRUTH ABOUT SCOLDING***

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Scold: v. to communicate punishment for a bad and/or wrong behavior(s) frequently with anger and/or being judgmental and sometimes with threats of punishment

Many parents frequently scold offspring. They have made a usually impulsive judgment that the offspring have done something bad and/or wrong and express their disapproval in a rather angry punishing tone of voice.

Sometimes the scolding is accompanied with threats of punishment to create a little fear so that the behavior is not repeated again another time. For very young offspring threatened punishment may be a spanking for very serious offenses such as fighting, stealing, and lying if isolation techniques don’t work but for older ones threatening to withdraw a privilege is a perfectly acceptable threat.

Unfortunately this scolding behavior is sometimes used on adults and teenagers with undesirable consequences because many adults and teenagers don’t want to be treated like a child and criticized in an angry tone of voice which frequently leads to arguments and defensive actions for such unjust treatment.

If you are smart then you will limit your scolding to young offspring once in a while when they really deserve a punishing angry tone of voice for doing something really very bad and/or wrong.

Judgmental anger expressed verbally is not only highly aggressive bordering on violence but it is a form of punishment which adults and teenagers frequently rebel against. If you add to your anger and threaten an adult with punishment then it will only make the reaction more rebellious and angry. Don’t scold adults and teenagers but try to frequently discuss disagreements and problems without an angry tone of voice.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1200 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

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PARENTING BRIEFLY SUMMARIZED!!!

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REARING VERY YOUNG OFFSPRING IS JUDICIOUSLY USING BRIBES AND THREATS OR REWARDS AND PUNISHMENTS!!!

Young offspring rearing and offspring rearing in general is promises of rewards which could be called bribes, and rewards for accomplishments but not generally for good behavior which should be expected and enforced with threats of punishment or withdrawal of privileges.

There are also punishments which are the withdrawal of privileges and threats of punishment or threats to withdraw privileges. For very young offspring the threat of a spanking or actual spanking may also be used to curb serious violence, lying, and stealing.

A privilege can also be considered a reward and/or right to do something at almost any time or frequently. Withdrawing or threatening to withdraw the reward and/or right may be considered to be a form of punishment.

The best way to motivate offspring to behave well is with appropriate praise for good behavior and verbal condemnation for misbehavior. When the positive approach with motivating words fails then unfortunately privilege withdrawal or other forms of punishment may be necessary.

If you include hugs and kisses as rewards or signs of love and affection then this is definitely a plus but even more important is demonstrating the love and affection for spouse in front of the offspring.

The line between rewards and privileges is sometimes vague but here is a likely list for relatively young offspring:

PARTIAL LIST OF REWARDS:

Favorite food (not including sweets or the occasional desert),

time to play with a favorite or special toy,

playing a video game

going to the park

horsey ride

going out to eat fast food

going to the zoo

going to the library

fishing trip

money in piggy bank

wearing dress up clothes

making mud pies

PARTIAL LIST OF PRIVILEGES OR RIGHTS:

going to friend’s houses whenever they want

supervised computer use

listening to a bedtime story

riding on a bicycle with mom or dad

staying up late

setting the table

going to a movie with a friend

sleeping in a different place in the house

playing outside

bouncing on a bed

feeding a pet

making noises with pots, pans, rattles, or bells

riding a tricycle

going outside at night

PUNISHMENTS:

Isolation in the bathroom or closet for a period of time such as 10 minutes

Sitting in a chair or on the couch for a period of time such as 10 minutes

Box lunches instead of school cafeteria food (if you give organic food in box lunches then it is really a reward and not a punishment)

Staying indoors or an early curfew before the usual 9 pm deadline

Taking away a special or favorite toy for a few days or week

Taking away a daily privilege for a day, a few days, or week.

Offspring will sometimes refuse to eat the food given or prepared and they should not be bribed with the promise of sweets or desert if they eat the meal. The best recourse is to just say, no food until tomorrow or breakfast. Children will not starve if denied one or two meals and usually when they are really hungry they will eat almost anything given.

It is the responsibility of parents to develop good habits as early as possible.

As early as possible offspring should be introduced to a wide variety of food so that they learn to eat fruits, vegetables, and meat in a balanced way. Milk, natural juices, and water should be emphasized as drinks.

As early as possible offspring should be taught the joys of reading by reading to them physical or online books and introducing them to the alphabet and numbers with alphabet and numbers toys or blocks. If you want your young offspring to be interested in school or learning then you have to start early at home introducing them into the world of learning from books and computers.

Neatness and orderliness should start young and a time to put away toys should become a daily accepted routine.

Most modern plastic toys are trivial crap which doesn’t teach anything useful so stick to physical construction toys, vehicles, planes, cars, trucks, dolls, action figures, animals, small plastic houses, appliances, tools, and geometrical shapes with different sizes. The more the real world is reflected in toys the better toys they are.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1100 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

AN OVERVIEW OF WHAT MARRIAGE IS AND ISN’T!!!

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Marriage should be sharing the good and the bad times but sometimes you will have to give in, sometimes you will get your way, sometimes you will have to be controlling, sometimes you will argue instead of compromise, and sometimes problems or irritations will remain unsolved for long periods of time. Being supported emotionally and financially in the good times is easy but being supported emotionally and financially in the bad times is evidence that the marriage can last.

You also have to share the workload and if one brings home most of the money then the other will have to take over most of the workload of keeping the house in order and spending more time with the offspring. Where both spouses work then housework and offspring rearing will have to be a shared responsibility. Marriage is responsible hard work and working out a just share of the responsibility will frequently determine to a large extent the success and happiness in the marriage. The extreme of I have to do everything and you do nothing is not a viable option.

Frequently one member is more domineering or is better at making decisions and solving problems than the other or you may have strengths in one area such as finance and weaknesses in another area such as offspring rearing. Letting a spouse dominate at something which they are good at should be encouraged.

Marriage is trying to balance things or coordinating effort to reach common  goals but it is also some independent behavior or pursuing your personal interests and getting support for those efforts from your spouse. Working together and sharing a business is rare and what makes interesting conversation possible is pursuing some independent goals, activities, or jobs and sharing those exploits with each other.

You are alike in many ways but also different in many ways and the dynamic interplay of these characteristics can make or break a relationship. If your communication skills are good, you are honest with each other and trust one another, and are good at sharing the load of responsibility then you will have a much more pleasant relationship than if you don’t honestly communicate and act irresponsibly.

A good marriage is a relatively safe intimate haven from a tumultuous sometimes crazy world but a stagnant marriage can also be quite boring so developing new or better interests, finding better jobs, and focusing on good long duration goals will help make the journey together more interesting and pleasantly challenging.

Bad times can really test a marriage and if you get through many of them successfully then your confidence that you will not be abandoned will be greater and you will know that you may have a lasting secure relationship and a truly best friend when times are tough.

When the offspring are leading independent lives and sex has ended then your major reasons for staying married may be challenged and unless you have maintained mutual respect and still enjoy being together and sharing your daily events with each other which have nothing to do with offspring, then a potential breakup is possible because you may find that you no longer have anything in common to enjoy.

Kindness, forgiveness, apologizing were appropriate, empathy, honesty, sincerity, dependability, competence, confidence, loyalty, optimism, caring, a common morality, mutual respect, mutual and independent goals, responsibility, good humor, and commitment are just some of the major characteristics which can make for a happy long duration marriage.

As long as you don’t lie to each other, are not adulterous, and are financially stable then you can have some personality drawbacks which won’t necessarily end a trusting relationship which is the bond which ultimately can keep you together despite your weaknesses and differences.

Few of us have loyal true friends and a spouse can be that one true loyal friend so you don’t have to live life as a loner without dependable human support or relationships. When you have something to bitch about then you will have a confidential trusting concerned listener to support you emotionally if not in other ways and you will not have to stew in your troubles alone. Confidentially confessing your troubles to someone is frequently therapeutic and lessens the misery.

Living alone with or without friends is an option which you should not feel bad about because you can spend most of your life pleasing yourself. Being married is more challenging and you can’t always please yourself but it can also be more rewarding in the long duration and your relationship skills with humans can improve if you learn from and master the marital relationship.

Many modern men are not good conversationalists, aren’t very caring, have been brainwashed with much promiscuous behavior, and have led rather irresponsible selfish indulgent lives as offspring,  and have bad jobs which don’t make them good potential husbands. If added to these basic facts a male comes from a dysfunctional family then the odds that a marriage will end in divorce are rather high and marriage should usually not be attempted.

Modern life no longer stresses important family values so your best bet is a husband who comes from a family which still values family values and a man who still gets along well with his family members. There are no guarantees in life that a good responsible childhood will mean a good responsible spouse but a messed up, carefree, or abused childhood and bad job are primary causes of messed up marriages and divorce.

Historically a husband who is a good provider, is moral, and has integrity was a great catch. Modern society’s values have changed and divorce has skyrocketed because the same basic historical values still apply to happy long duration modern marriages. Many modern women are good providers but unfortunately most men have not been taught to adjust to the new realities and few without the help of a nanny can do most of the young child rearing responsibilities well by themselves. Two working spouses with meager incomes and offspring is a recipe for disaster in the modern world.

In the modern world you can live together on meager incomes but whatever you do don’t get married, especially if that means offspring in your lives. Living together is an option while you are struggling to survive financially but once financial security is reached and you still don’t marry then that probably means that one significant other is hoping for a better partner to come along.

Marriage is a duty or responsibility to spouse and offspring and if you are not very responsible with your own life then don’t marry and ruin someone else’s life!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1100 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

THE TRUTH ABOUT INDOCTRINATION***

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Indoctrination: n. teaching a human and/or group to accept a subset(s) of beliefs without thinking

Science will never prove the need for human morality in the laboratory or elsewhere and humans must react impulsively in a moral way so that they don’t have to stop before each behavior and ask themselves-Am I doing the right thing?

Humans reacting impulsively towards one another in a socially acceptable way is necessary for peaceful human interactions and being indoctrinated from early childhood is vital. Without an indoctrination of common moral beliefs humans will lie, steal, get violent, commit adultery, and even murder one another.

Religions have historically taught morality in a rather inefficient way and are steeped in mythology which is no longer acceptable in the modern world. What is desperately needed is a new updated secular morality which the whole world can use to formulate proper behavioral examples which reflect that morality. A unified morality must be taught which will ultimately promote unified world peace and the survival of biodiversity on the face of this precious endangered planet.

Bio-diverse nature is very efficient or uses the least amount of energy and the least amount of natural resources to survive in a non-polluting way. Nature punishes the inefficient with starvation, disease, and death and that will be the eventual destiny of human civilization if it doesn’t acknowledge this important principle or rule and try to live by it.

Inefficient eating means not getting all the nutrients without toxic chemicals necessary for healthy survival or not eating enough organic food, An inefficient lifestyle means profligate spending which leads to financial crises or even bankruptcy. Inefficient conversation is talking too much and using an archaic language which needs too many years to learn to speak. Inefficient education is promotion based on age and teaching a class of 20 or more students by lecturing beyond elementary school. You may need a scientist to help you to recognize the trivial pursuits or inefficiencies in your life but that is one of the things which I have dedicated my life to.

 

Science has something to offer this new secular morality and it is the discovery of the primary importance of biodiversity and efficiency in nature which should be applied to human behavior too.

The indoctrination which I recommend for all impressionable young minds in elementary school worldwide is-except in emergency situations-don’t destroy biodiversity, don’t lie, don’t be inefficient, don’t steal, don’t commit adultery if married, and don’t murder.

 

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1100 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

THE TRUTH ABOUT IMPATIENCE***

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Impatience: n. eager anxiety for a subset(s) to end existence and/or begin existence

We may be impatient for something good to happen or we may be impatient for something bad to end. We may also be impatient for something bad to end so that something good can begin.

We may be eagerly anxious or impatient for a human date to arrive and just as impatient for a bad conversation to end. We have all dealt with impatience many times and some time must pass before the event(s) actually happens and this creates temporary eager anxiety.

Sometimes we get impatient over a problem which doesn’t seem to want to go away and this sometimes motivates us to solve the problem so that it will finally end. Some are more impatient than others and are just not comfortable with the thought of having to wait for very long.

Impatient bosses may annoy you with constant demands to do the job more quickly and impatient spouses may annoy you with many requests which they want to be done right away. Hyper individuals are frequently the most impatient humans and if you have a very laid back personality this can cause you much distress if they are in a position to place demands on you.

Young offspring are frequently very impatient and don’t want to wait very long for anything. Parents are frequently motivated to respond or act just so that annoying repetitive impatient requests from offspring end.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1100 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

THE TRUTH ABOUT HUMILIATION***

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Humiliation: n. causing a human to sense shame and/or to decrease the pride of a human for duration

If someone has made you feel stupid, very embarrassed, or ashamed then you have been humiliated. The humiliation frequently does not last very long unless you have been humiliated in public and many humans will remember your humiliation and your reputation may suffer.

If you have behaved stupidly or badly but not in front of someone then humiliation is not an issue. The only time that we feel humiliation is if we know that our stupid or bad behavior has been witnessed by someone who disapproves and frequently tells us how stupid or bad they think it really was.

Parents sometimes humiliate us so that we feel bad enough so that we will not repeat the stupid or bad behavior again.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1000 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

THE TRUTH ABOUT SILLINESS***

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Silliness: n. a (random behavior(s) without a serious goal(s) and/or an unknown goal(s)) which frequently causes laughter and/or a smile

Offspring running around randomly yelling bleh bleh bleh and doing random body movements is an example of silliness. Offspring putting a pot on the head and making noises may be an enactment of some fantasy whose goal we are unaware of and also consider silliness.

We frequently don’t consider adults to be silly but rather stupid if they do some childhood silliness. We frequently laugh at childhood silliness but not at adult silliness because we assume that they are socially literate and no longer should do silly things. Comedians sometimes do silly things on stage and we frequently think it is funny and we are not judgmental about their silly behavior and call them stupid.

Slapstick comedy is random harmless violence and it is really silly behavior which we laugh at yet also consider stupid.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1000 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

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9 TRUE REASONS WHY MEN DO AND FREQUENTLY SHOULD GET MARRIED!!!

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Marriage is the best way to give offspring a stable, secure, relationship learning environment.

Marriage is a legal document which does not condone adultery and gives a man a sense of pride, rightful possession, and responsibility to spouse and offspring.

Marriage is a commitment during the good and bad times and theoretically guarantees more than a fair weather friendship. It is a source of emotional and sometimes financial support in time of need during a hoped for lifetime.

Sharing the good and bad times makes the good times better and the bad not so bad or traumatic. Managing life as a committed team is frequently more satisfying.

A man would like to improve upon the family he never had or had but with needed improvements so that he can perhaps someday be proud of his offspring legacy.

He loves the idea of committing to someone who accepts and supports him with all his weaknesses or faults.

Safe and reliable sex is something which he enjoys.

He has probably fallen in love with a woman’s looks and personality and the rare man has also fallen in love with the woman’s smarts.

He can financially support a family or support a nanny for a working wife. Of all the reasons to get married this is the most important one which should almost always come first.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1000 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

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THE TRUTH ABOUT AGREEMENTS***

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Agreement:  n. corresponding with similar opinions and/or facts frequently after discussion and adjustment of differences in fact and/or opinion and/or judgment and the results can be recorded

When you have two or more humans involved in an activity(s) agreement is frequently necessary. You frequently have to mutually decide or agree on a goal(s) and then agree on what is the best way to achieve the goal(s) and how much responsibility each participant has in the goal(s) achievement.

Sometimes opinions differ widely and agreement is not possible so the best solution is just to hold on to your own opinions if agreement is not essential. We may agree to disagree but life still goes on.

It is frequently a leader’s responsibility to choose a course of action even when agreement has not been made between all the participants or workers.

Sometimes agreement involves compromise between competing parties or each participant getting something desired out of the agreement but not everything desired. Economic and political treaties or agreements are frequently compromises where each side benefits but with some drawbacks for each side.

Sometimes there are different approaches to reaching the same goal(s) such as in raising offspring. One parent may have more of an authoritarian style of leadership and the other a more democratic or consensus style of leadership.

The truth is that for very young offspring and authoritarian style of parenting is preferable and a democratic style of leadership more appropriate in the teen years when offspring are capable of independent logical thinking too. You do it your way and I will do it my way is frequently an acceptable agreement style where more than one approach leads to the same goal(s).

In business agreement frequently leads to a formal agreement or contract.

Most household arguments are based in disagreements or differing opinions on what good and bad behavior is and what is an acceptable purchase and what isn’t. Harsh criticism or intensely blaming another as being totally responsible for a problem or mistake is frequently how household arguments start.

If a discussion does not lead to intense arguing then agreement is frequently possible but if it is confrontational or a you against me attitude then it sometimes makes agreement impossible and lingering dissatisfaction and resentment is the result.

Teamwork in a family is a very important desirable concept and in business it is increasingly modifying authoritarian styles of leadership.

 

If you like this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1000 so far, and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!