Timing discussions during peak stress periods:
Trying to discuss problems and find solutions during emotional peaks of stress such as immediately after work, during work, after a stressful day, or during offspring health or bad behavior issues is poor timing.
Not all problems can wait until the family is gathered for a meal or until rest time but an emotionally charged human will not be able to discuss much rationally and calmly compromise or find logical solutions to problems.
Jealousy and resentment:
Some jealousy is a normal human reaction but too much can also turn into resentment which will make you feel miserable and unsatisfied with who you are and what you have.
It is a much better mental attitude to admire others achievements and good looks as symbols for success and something for others to try and imitate. Not everyone is equal in society and some are just more fortunate than others and it should be accepted as a fact of life.
When things go wrong it is tempting to make excuses and blame others for our misfortune. Often circumstances and others do share the blame and most realize their contribution to the failure of others.
Blaming is really a form of accusation which many will try to deny that all responsibility for a problem is on their shoulders alone. Honest blaming is acceptable but there is a danger that you will begin to feel victimized by humans and circumstances and start blaming everyone and everything for your problems and not admit to being partly or totally responsible for your behavior consequences.
The danger in blaming too much is that you will not make the necessary future changes in your own behavior to make failure less likely in the future.
A feeling that your goals will probably not be achieved and that bad events will probably exceed the good is the general mental state of a pessimist.
Knowledge about the bad things which can possibly happen is useful in preparing for the future but it is not very helpful in your life if this general feeling kills your motivation to do your best to avoid the possible bad circumstances.
Many pessimists feel like victims of life rather than as optimistic participants in life and humans generally do not like to associate with pessimists who seem to have given up on living life to the fullest and with a happy mental attitude.
Forgetting to forgive:
Forgiving offspring for their bad behavior or mistakes comes almost naturally but we must realize that adults too behave badly and make mistakes for which they should be forgiven sometimes.
Not forgiving will make the bad behavior and mistakes fester in your mind and there is a danger that you will bring up these past transgressions in the future and poison, greatly annoy, or make calm future discussions and problem solving much harder to do.
Immorality should rarely be forgiven and if it is then it should be conditional that it never happens again. For rather unimportant transgressions it is usually smart to forgive and forget.
Procrastination is nature’s attempt at conserving energy or trying not to get involved in situations which will drain much energy out of you. Humans don’t like procrastinators and frequently call them lazy or irresponsible.
Sometimes procrastination works for the procrastinator and the problem or task either goes away with time or someone else solves the problem or does the task.
Workaholism just means being overly dedicated to a job and the bad consequences are that you frequently ignore or sacrifice family, friends, and opportunities to grow and enjoy things outside the work environment.
The key to a more well rounded lifestyle is to schedule time for other things in life than just your job.
Saying yes to everything:
Let’s be realistic. No one says yes to everything but there are humans who try their best to fulfill requests from almost everyone that they meet.
If you do that then you are in effect becoming an altruistic slave catering to the wants of others and probably ignoring or not having enough time to fulfill your own important needs and wants. Humans who almost always try to please others frequently fail to please themselves enough.
The key is to say no more frequently and do it in a polite considerate way. Sometimes “no, sorry” is all that is needed as a reaction.
Comparing yourself too much to others:
Comparing yourself to others is natural because most of us like to feel that we are in some way superior to others in personality and/or wealth.
Too much comparison leads to unrealistic expectations and the danger that our own lives will self-destruct financially and relationship wise if we begin to live extravagantly in our efforts to keep up with others whom we admire and desperately but unreasonably want to imitate.
Loners, the severely handicapped, and some old humans sometimes feel worthless and depression is frequently a natural consequence.
The cure is trying to get involved with other humans which can be doing volunteer work, joining a club or organization, or surfing the internet and trying to find new friends.
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