Tag Archives: politeness

HOW TO BE MORE CHARMING!!!

Charm-School-1st-Level

Charm: v. to arouse pleasantness and/or admiration by being visually attractive and polite and friendly and likable

If you want to be more charming, especially to the opposite sex then you have to be visually more attractive, polite, friendly, and likable.

If you are polite, friendly, and likable chances are that you will still be attractive even though you may not be handsome or beautiful and well off financially with nice clothes, car, house, and costly adult toys.

Yes, many humans marry uncharming humans who are not that friendly, not that polite, not very likable, and borderline attractive. Many eventually end up in divorce because truly charming individuals are a rarity in society and there is no proof that charming individuals have longer duration marriages, especially in overly promiscuous societies. A charming individual is really an idealized human being with an abundance of good human behaviors and unfortunately in the real world most humans fall far short of this idealized state of charm.

 

Politeness: n. intentional respect and consideration and using accepted social etiquette

Politeness varies to some extent from culture to culture and the etiquette has some minor and major differences. Showing respect and consideration is also slightly different from culture to culture since it is dependent on etiquette to some extent.

Likability is mostly a question of showing that you care about someone and are empathetic. Nurturing and protecting another human is what caring is all about. Being empathetic takes some emotional intelligence and it means being able to detect impulsively or by asking relevant questions how a human is feeling at the moment and often how they are feeling about a given subject of conversation.

Humans like to be respected and one way to show this is to be genuinely glad when meeting someone. Being a good listener, asking relevant sincere and open ended questions, eye contact, mimicking a smile, frown, or head nod are ways of showing that you care about another human’s conversation and that you empathize with what they are saying. Giving humans this feedback is the essence of human bonding through conversation and gesture which demonstrates an ability to get more intimate with another human. By listening more yet still smartly conversing you are making the other human feel important and respected which raises your likability factor considerably.

Likability also increases when you occasionally reveal a vulnerability or a weakness proving that you are not perfect but just another slightly flawed human who also has failed on occasion. You come across as a genuine likable human and not an overconfident, arrogant, egotistical fake perfectionist.

Another obvious vulnerability is making a mistake. Likable humans own up to mistakes, take full responsibility, sometimes promise to not make the same mistake again, and sometimes make a joke or laugh at the mistake. Often others laugh with you and not at you. They like you more because you are genuine and not perfect and other humans often empathize with you rather than mock you.

Opposing opinions can often lead to arguments and confrontations if you always look for opposing views to challenge. A likeable human embarks on trying to find places of agreement first to converse about and has a live and let live tolerant view of strongly held opinions and beliefs which are usually not subject to change.

Being friendly is far more complex. You are considered friendly if you are friendly in very similar ways no matter what the status of the human and treat them with common respectful conversation without being rude, arrogant, or offensive. Try very hard to remember names and even the names of best friends and close relatives. Friendly humans usually don’t name drop and try to brag or impress others with celebrity status connections if there are any.

Finally friendliness is a function of your good basic personality. If you have integrity and are trustworthy, dependable, competent, caring, empathetic, confident, and communicate well then many more humans will be attracted to you and you will be able to bond more closely with better friends and significant others who share most of your basic traits.

Charming an audience or charming a potential spouse has some different skill sets but the foundational behaviors of charming individuals is largely the same and only vary in degree and not substance.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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THE TRUTH ABOUT CHARM

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Charm: v. to arouse pleasantness and/or admiration by being visually attractive and polite and friendly and likable

A charming human can arouse pleasant feelings in another by being visually attractive, polite, friendly, and likable. A very charming human can arouse admiration in another by being very visually attractive, very polite, very friendly, and very likable which really means lovable.

Your charm can range from the likable to the lovable and it is up to you whether you want to be just liked or loved by someone. Charming an audience may be getting them to just like you and charming a potential spouse means added slightly different behaviors such as hugging, kissing, and touching such as holding hands and pats on the back.

Yes, many humans marry uncharming humans who are not that friendly, not that polite, not very likable, and borderline attractive. Many eventually end up in divorce because truly charming individuals are a rarity in society and there is no proof that charming individuals have longer duration marriages, especially in overly promiscuous societies. A charming individual is really an idealized human being with an abundance of good human behaviors and unfortunately in the real world most humans fall far short of this idealized state of charm.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

THE TRUTH ABOUT POLITENESS

politenessquote

Politeness: n. intentional respect and consideration and using accepted social etiquette

If you treat a human with respect, consideration, and use socially accepted etiquette then you are being polite in any culture with its unique etiquette rules.

Politeness largely refers to appropriate public behavior and casual behavior at home or among close friends need not be so polite.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1000 so far, and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

THE TRUTH ABOUT NICE

ingela-arrhenius-be-nice-to-the-world-poster-by-omm-design

Niceness: n. good and/or right behavior(s) towards a human(s) and/or an animal and this behavior(s) is frequently done politely and/or respectfully and/or caringly and/or kindly and/or friendly and/or courteously and/or modestly and/or with just praise

We frequently like nice humans. Those are the ones that are polite, respectful, caring, kind, friendly, courteous, give appropriate compliments, and generally make us feel good in their presence.

Being nice is a social skill and if you need many friends or acquaintances in your life then you should learn how to be nice to humans whom you want to impress in a good way.

You don’t have to be nice all the time, especially if you are in a leadership position which may require firing and criticizing where appropriate, but as the old saying goes-you can attract more humans with honey rather than vinegar, so being nice is the honey which you should be using most of the time.

One very overlooked area which should be treated nicely is wilderness plants and animals. Be nice to them and don’t steal their real estate!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 800 so far, and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

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THE TRUTH ABOUT BEING NICE

Header1 Nice: adj. good and/or right behavior(s) towards a human(s) and/or an animal and this behavior(s) is frequently done politely and/or respectfully and/or caringly and/or kindly and/or friendily and/or courteously and/or modestly and/or with just praise

There is an old saying that you can get more with honey than with vinegar and that is just a way of saying that being nice has better payoffs in human relationships than being mean, nasty, and inconsiderate.

Being nice is actually a social skill which must be learned. You must have a good personal knowledge of good social etiquette and what it means to be polite, respectful, caring, kind, friendly, courteous, modest, and giving just praise.

A braggart or one who thinks too highly of oneself and advertises it is not MODEST and will not be admired or respected by other humans whom he is putting down without realizing it. Those in positions of leadership do not boast about themselves in public and the nicer they are by being modest or low keyed and not grandiose in public the more respected and admired they are by the public.

No matter how prestigious you may feel, if you RESPECT others by carefully listening to what they say without rude interruptions and nicely answer back and never personally assault them with harsh criticism or name calling using words such as stupid, crazy, and piece of shit then they will respect you back. Yes, there are times when supervisors of hard professions may have to use profanities to get their point across to workers who understand those words and are more affected by them because they use that kind of language among themselves but respect can frequently be earned by supervisors through personal actions such as doing some of the dirty work themselves once in a while to help out.

Expressing KINDNESS is more important in family life than on the job but even there if your workers feel that you care about them or nurture and protect them in times of emotional or physical need and give help when it is needed then they will respect you more as a boss. If you have a don’t care attitude and just want results without offering help when it is needed or giving another chance when it is justified then you are not being kind and considerate and your workers will not think highly of you as a good human but think instead that you are a tyrannical boss. Kindness is caring about your fellow humans even when help or kind words of reassurance are not directly requested in time of need.

Being POLITE and COURTEOUS is frequently expressed with the words “sorry” which is an apology if you have made a mistake or behaved badly and “thank you” which is a reward for doing something right or performing a favor. If you are being rude and disrespectful then you are not being polite and courteous.

Giving JUST PRAISE is also part of being nice because everyone enjoys being acknowledged for looking good and/or doing something well and/or doing something good. Just praise is not flattery and over blown praise designed to unjustly boost one’s ego or feeling of self-worth but frequently an honest deserved compliment instead of very intense praise which should be reserved for something truly great.

Finally being FRIENDLY can summarize most of the good characteristics which make up a nice human because even your spouse should be your best friend. Friendship is showing some respect, trust, and caring for another human.

Polite: adj. intentional respect and consideration and using accepted social etiquette  

Kind: adj. relatively small medium intensity caring which isn’t requested  

Respectful: adj. sensing and frequently communicating that a human has (much value and/or moral goodness) and/or (much skill(s) in a (profession and/or activity)) and/or is experienced  

Friendly: adj. interacting with some regard and/or trust and/or caring and the human(s) may sometimes be a stranger  

Courteous: adj. using good and/or right etiquette  

Modest: adj. a moderate appraisal of one’s ability to achieve a goal(s)  

If you liked this evergreen blog read more of them and read one or more of my evergreen books, especially COMMON SENSE, which is rays of truth in a world filled with myths and deceptions.

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17 MEANINGFUL NON RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS

acts-of-kindness

Kindness: n. a relatively small medium intensity caring which isn’t requested

Favor: n. giving a relatively small reward to someone and exchanging it for a minimal received reward such as a “thank you”

Kindness is a relatively small caring behavior which frequently makes one feel good and/or is a small favor granted without being asked.

15 EXAMPLES:

Donate your used books to the library

Let someone in front of the line if you have many and they only have one or two items.

Volunteer at an animal shelter or food bank.

Donate to a wildlife fund.

Plant a tree.

Mentor a student in your field of expertise.

Give up your seat to the handicapped or elderly on public transportation.

Open the door for someone with full hands or in a wheelchair.

Give an honest and sincere compliment even to a stranger once in a while.

Host an international student.

Renew a potentially useful friendship.

Become an organ donor.

Give a homeless human your doggie bag.

Say “ please” and “thank you” in public and really mean it.

Give a fellow driver the right of way such as merging into your lane.

Forgive a friend a small debt and never bring it up again.

Apologize with “I’m sorry” for offensiveness, rudeness, or being wrong.

Say hi to a remote neighbor or smile at a stranger.

 

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