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If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3700 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.
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If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
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They don’t always assume that what they think and feel is a true reflection of what is really going on in someone’s mind or the real reason behind someone’s behavior. They realize that sometimes their assumptions about others may be flawed or inaccurate and further probing or experience may be necessary to discover the truth about a human.
They don’t think external influences directly control their emotions. They understand that their emotional state is their responsibility and under their control and don’t think the responsibility for the emotional state is an external influence or its control is exerted by external influences.
They don’t think that they can control and guarantee future happiness. They understand that what they think will make them happy in the future is a projection of what has made them happy in the past. If it is some future new projection or goal to be achieved then they realize that there is no guarantee that achieving it will really make them happy and that they won’t really know how happy until it actually happens.
They don’t think that being fearful is necessarily being on the wrong path because life is sometimes risky and repeated failure or new failure is always a possibility when trying something new. They risk doing new things despite a little fear which they feel might be a good thing and something they would like and perhaps even love.
They don’t think that sustained happiness is possible. They know that a sustained state of happiness is an illusion and they are not trying to reach that impossible delusional state but live day to day and enjoy whatever happiness comes with it.
They don’t easily change their views. They recognize that others sometimes try to change their thoughts, beliefs, and opinions but even though they have an open mind they are not gullible, are introspective, and don’t automatically reject the validity of their own viewpoints.
They don’t freely express all their emotions in public. Few but not all their intense emotions are expressed in public. Any intense anger or hatred are reserved to be more honestly, freely, and intimately expressed in a circle of trustworthy family and close friends.
They don’t think that any one emotion is permanent. They understand and are aware that shitty or very bad feelings are transient and eventually subside so they develop composure, control, or stamina which prevents the intense feelings from frequently being expressed in public.
They don’t confuse bad emotions or a bad day of emotional turmoil with a bad life in general and don’t become chronic complainers if they have more than their share of bad days or bad circumstances.
They don’t express empathy and sympathy all the time. They try to express empathy or sympathy where appropriate for humans suffering from bad circumstances or emotional turmoil but realize that some humans overly complain just to get attention so an expression of empathy or sympathy is not always forthcoming if not deserved.
They don’t overwhelm humans with fake exaggerated praise and compliments but express approval with sincere honest remarks and appropriate enthusiasm.
They don’t gullibly believe charismatic con artists manipulating emotions with information, goods, and services which sound too good to be true, especially get rich schemes and miracle cures.
They don’t believe emotional intelligence is inborn but believe it is something acquired with human experience. In general they assume a more mature or older human with much human interaction has more emotional intelligence than a young inexperienced adult with little social exposure.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
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Essentially after a qualified and competent worker is hired a boss’ job is to motivate and support or help the worker to do the job well and with enthusiasm.
BOSSES MOTIVATE WITH THE FOLLOWING TECHNIQUES:
They encourage when reluctance or fear of not being able to do the task is felt,
they maintain an atmosphere of trust so that no worker is overly fearful or dissatisfied with the emotional working environment and feels free to communicate with the boss and say anything that they may feel is relevant,
they are decisive and confident thus giving the worker the courage to do even when the task seems hard and difficult,
they accept occasional worker failure, don’t lose their optimism, and don’t use insults, put downs, name calling, and ridicule to belittle the worker,
they clearly communicate the rules and goals of the company giving confidence, clear guidance and understanding, and a sense of purpose to the worker,
they contribute to the work at hand by participating and working along with the workers at least once in a while to maintain an esprit de corps and don’t just isolate themselves in the office all day,
they are effective listeners and make their workers feel important and respected when they communicate,
the best bosses also have a sense of humor and can tell entertaining stories to perk up workers,
they are thankful or show gratitude so that workers feel that their efforts are appreciated,
they are inspirational and optimistic and give earned praise appropriately thus inspiring workers,
they have an ability to energize their workers when the going gets tough or tedious.
they know how to discipline good workers who are starting to goof off or are no longer doing a good job. This can be done with a threatened firing or pointing out role model workers who are doing the job well or better and thus challenging the wayward worker to do better or get back in shape.
SUPPORT OR HELP IS GIVEN WITH THE FOLLOWING TECHNIQUES:
They acknowledge work well done or give credit where credit is due,
they empower or give the tools and direction necessary to do the job and are good coaches,
they are results oriented and are not out to win a popularity contest if it means a job not well done,
they strengthen the workforce by eliminating bad workers who destroy the incentive to do well and function at optimal efficiency.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
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Commend: to give an authoritative award and/or praise frequently as a customary public communication
Most commendations are official awards and/or praise which sometimes become public knowledge and are given for outstanding performance or service to a cause or institution.
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Gratitude: n. frequently praise given a human(s) for getting a pleasant subset(s) from samer human(s) and sometimes a subset(s) is also given to return the favor(s)
Usually a “thank you” is the gratitude shown for receiving something pleasant from someone but sometimes the thankfulness is so great that something tangible is also given in return.
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Leaders should be short, sincere, and to the point in their communications but each of these phrases can be embellished with added words when it seems the appropriate thing to do.
Leaders offer earned or justified praise to their workers which is a very good motivational tool. You can personalize praise and adjust it to a sports fan by using phrases such as home run and touchdown but it is not very appropriate for female employees:
Congratulations!
Thank you
Great job
Nice work
You earned it
You outdid yourself
I’ll remember this forever
I’m proud of you
I couldn’t do it better
It’s new but I like it
You’re the best at that
Leaders admit when they’re wrong or made a mistake. When both are responsible for the failure they share the blame:
I’m sorry
I’m wrong; your right
I apologize
My fault, sorry
Let’s learn from this
We’ll do it right next time
Leaders affirm that they are a source of help if needed:
You can count on me
I’ll try my best
I’m here to help
I’ll help if needed
It’s my pleasure
I’ll support you
Let’s check your data
Leaders remind a worker of his or her importance:
I’m listening
I believe in you
Back me up
I need you
You come highly recommended
Make a suggestion
Leaders delay a conversation for latter when pressed for time or when no immediate answer is possible:
Let’s table that topic for now!
We’ll get back to this later!
Let’s discuss this further at a later time!
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REARING VERY YOUNG OFFSPRING IS JUDICIOUSLY USING BRIBES AND THREATS OR REWARDS AND PUNISHMENTS!!!
Young offspring rearing and offspring rearing in general is promises of rewards which could be called bribes, and rewards for accomplishments but not generally for good behavior which should be expected and enforced with threats of punishment or withdrawal of privileges.
There are also punishments which are the withdrawal of privileges and threats of punishment or threats to withdraw privileges. For very young offspring the threat of a spanking or actual spanking may also be used to curb serious violence, lying, and stealing.
A privilege can also be considered a reward and/or right to do something at almost any time or frequently. Withdrawing or threatening to withdraw the reward and/or right may be considered to be a form of punishment.
The best way to motivate offspring to behave well is with appropriate praise for good behavior and verbal condemnation for misbehavior. When the positive approach with motivating words fails then unfortunately privilege withdrawal or other forms of punishment may be necessary.
If you include hugs and kisses as rewards or signs of love and affection then this is definitely a plus but even more important is demonstrating the love and affection for spouse in front of the offspring.
The line between rewards and privileges is sometimes vague but here is a likely list for relatively young offspring:
PARTIAL LIST OF REWARDS:
Favorite food (not including sweets or the occasional desert),
time to play with a favorite or special toy,
playing a video game
going to the park
horsey ride
going out to eat fast food
going to the zoo
going to the library
fishing trip
money in piggy bank
wearing dress up clothes
making mud pies
PARTIAL LIST OF PRIVILEGES OR RIGHTS:
going to friend’s houses whenever they want
supervised computer use
listening to a bedtime story
riding on a bicycle with mom or dad
staying up late
setting the table
going to a movie with a friend
sleeping in a different place in the house
playing outside
bouncing on a bed
feeding a pet
making noises with pots, pans, rattles, or bells
riding a tricycle
going outside at night
PUNISHMENTS:
Isolation in the bathroom or closet for a period of time such as 10 minutes
Sitting in a chair or on the couch for a period of time such as 10 minutes
Box lunches instead of school cafeteria food (if you give organic food in box lunches then it is really a reward and not a punishment)
Staying indoors or an early curfew before the usual 9 pm deadline
Taking away a special or favorite toy for a few days or week
Taking away a daily privilege for a day, a few days, or week.
Offspring will sometimes refuse to eat the food given or prepared and they should not be bribed with the promise of sweets or desert if they eat the meal. The best recourse is to just say, no food until tomorrow or breakfast. Children will not starve if denied one or two meals and usually when they are really hungry they will eat almost anything given.
It is the responsibility of parents to develop good habits as early as possible.
As early as possible offspring should be introduced to a wide variety of food so that they learn to eat fruits, vegetables, and meat in a balanced way. Milk, natural juices, and water should be emphasized as drinks.
As early as possible offspring should be taught the joys of reading by reading to them physical or online books and introducing them to the alphabet and numbers with alphabet and numbers toys or blocks. If you want your young offspring to be interested in school or learning then you have to start early at home introducing them into the world of learning from books and computers.
Neatness and orderliness should start young and a time to put away toys should become a daily accepted routine.
Most modern plastic toys are trivial crap which doesn’t teach anything useful so stick to physical construction toys, vehicles, planes, cars, trucks, dolls, action figures, animals, small plastic houses, appliances, tools, and geometrical shapes with different sizes. The more the real world is reflected in toys the better toys they are.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1100 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
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PRAISING OR REWARDING AN EMPLOYEE:
You scored!
You hit a home run!
You landed it!
Great work!
Nice work!
You’re great at that!
You’re the best at that!
I approve of it!
I support you!
I think that’s great!
I couldn’t do it better!
You did it perfectly!
I’m giving you a raise for that!
You did your homework well!
That is an exciting new approach!
It’s new but I like it!
OFFERING TO HELP OR SUPPORT AN EMPLOYEE:
I can answer that right now!
Let’s find a solution which works for you!
Let’s look at your information!
Let’s check your data!
I’ll be honest with you!
The company supports you!
I approve of that!
Let’s start again!
What’s holding you back?
Make a suggestion!
Why the delay?
Tell me your reasons!
DELAYING A CONVERSATION FOR LATER:
Let’s table that topic for now!
We’ll get back to this later!
Let’s discuss this further at a later time!
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1100 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
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Compliment: v. to mildly praise and usually approve
Complidiment: v. to mildly praise but disapprove
Most compliments are sincere but there are exceptions to the rule where you may be complimenting someone just to avoid hurt feelings and you really disapprove of the behavior or think that an appearance is ugly or not pleasant to look at. Great, wonderful, sensational, and awesome are not really polite, sincere, mild compliments but intense praise meant to make someone feel very happy whether they deserve to feel that way or not.
A proper compliment is approving of what someone thinks or does and praising them for it.
You can also deceptively compliment someone and disapprove of what they think or have done. This is a form of lying which some humans resort to when there is an authority figure whom they do not want to upset or challenge and so compliantly give an untrue compliment or a complidiment.
Language and many words promote lying and deception in society and it is time that we learned to discriminate between a true compliment and a deceptive one by inventing a new word for it or a complidiment.
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Here are examples of praise and reassurances with promises which may be needed occasionally but don’t overdo it. Much of it is what women would like to hear but frequently don’t hear from their husbands.
Praise:
I admire you.
I celebrate your love, and I celebrate our marriage.
Thank you for being faithful when times are tough.
Thank you for your integrity. It enriches our marriage.
Thank you for your forgiveness. I will forgive you, too.
I am grateful for the things you do and the things we share.
I treasure the time we spend together.
You are my best friend.
The example we set is important. Thank you for being a good example.
Reassurance in the form of promises:
I love you now and forever.
I am committed to our marriage.
I will be strong for you.
Thank you for your patience. I will be patient with you too.
I will always help you.
I understand the importance of cooperation.
I will make our home a happy place.
I treasure our family.
I will always honor our marriage and be faithful to you.
I will never stop loving you.
I understand the importance of clear, loving, open lines of communication.
Time here on earth is short and precious. I want to spend as much of it with you as I can.
I will focus on the positive.
Our love will last forever.
CONCLUSION: Praising your husband or wife once in a while for important good behavior and communicating disapproval for important bad behavior is essential for any good ongoing relationship. If he or she helps you in some way or gives you emotional help or physical support when you need it then thanks for your support or understanding is frequently enough praise.
When confronted with problems in married life realize that there are not always instant solutions and that it frequently takes much time and mutual effort to resolve many important problems. Having an ongoing good attitude like an optimistic outlook on life is a great help because it shows that you almost always have hope that to most problems there is a solution sooner or later if you both put in the necessary time and effort.
Reassurances are frequently only necessary for difficult problems which need much time and devoted effort to solve. Let’s keep working at it or we are making some progress towards a solution or let’s not give up yet is frequently the kind of reassurance necessary.
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