Tag Archives: role models

UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1350!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1176!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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HOW TO DISCIPLINE KIDS!!!

Crying boy being disciplined or punished.

One of the most effective ways of letting kids learn about the wrong things to do is to let them suffer the consequences.

Buy a relatively fragile toy and warn them sternly that it is fragile and it will break if thrown around or dropped from a high height. Then let the child play with the fragile toy until they wind up breaking it. Then tell them that because they were not careful enough the toy broke and tell them that it will be a long time before they will be trusted with another fragile toy again.

Obviously if the child is too young to be trusted with toxic household chemicals, dangerous medicines, or sharp objects like knives and sharp forks then these objects should be locked away in a secure place inaccessible to the child. You would not want them to suffer the bad consequences of being poisoned, cutting themselves severely with a sharp knife, or poking out an eye with a sharp fork.

The swimming pool is very dangerous for very small children and it should be fenced off until the child is taught to tread water or minimally stay afloat.

When crossing a street it is wise to hold the hand of a child and teach them to look both ways before crossing the street. If the child is not old enough to follow you across the street without running out into it then you must continue to hold the child’s hand until the child follows you obediently across the street on their own.

 

Logical consequences can also be taught with consistency.

If a child begins to throw a toy around which is not meant to be thrown then it can be removed and placed on a shelf for the rest of the day. A toy which is meant to be shared can similarly be removed for a day if sharing does not occur. If the children are old enough to tell time then you can request that each child share a toy for 10 minutes at a time. Once again, if the toy is not appropriately shared then it can be removed for the day. Sometimes a toy can be shared on a daily basis and one child may have it on Monday and the other can have it to play with on a Tuesday, etc.

Before bedtime it is a good time to put toys away. If the child does not put the toys away then you can threaten to put the toys in a box and not make them available for the next day of playing. If the child still refuses to put the toys away then follow through with the threat and box up the toys and remove them to a safe place out of reach for the next day.

Bathing, brushing teeth, and putting dirty clothes into a laundry hamper is a good routine to get into before bedtime. Once again a threat to remove a favorite toy for a day or a few days may be used to get compliance. Not highly recommended but possible is to force a child to put dirty clothes in a hamper by physically making them go through the motions by grabbing the child’s hand and moving his or her body from clothes to hamper until all the dirty clothes have been dropped in.

If a child does not finish dinner then that is just fine but warn them that they will be given no food or snacks until the next meal time. Children these days are overfed and missing one or two meals is not a tragic or unacceptable circumstance. Our ancestors sometimes went days without eating and even fasted at certain times and frankly only ate when hungry.

Another technique used by parents to stuff their kids is to say that you will only get desert if you finish your meal. Frankly, desert should be maybe a once in a week event since overconsumption of sweets is a major cause of diabetes and other eating problems. Supermarkets are overflowing with sugar added to lousy over processed foods of all kinds and is a major reason why many humans no longer eat healthy well balanced organic food meals.

For children fighting scolding in a loud voice can help and if that fails separating them physically and carrying one off to sit in a chair in a corner by themselves for an hour or so is usually effective. If a child throws a tantrum in a public place then physically removing them from that location and getting them to quiet or cool down in the car or outside the public location usually works if reinforced with the words-are you now ready to go back and behave?

 

Withholding a child’s privileges works well for all ages.

Withholding a cherished toy, not letting a child play outdoors for a day, or not letting him or her play with a playmate are privileges which can be withheld for bad behavior or as a form of discipline. For older children taking away a cellphone or computer for a day or week and grounding them for a given time are ways to get compliance with household rules and good behavior.

Spanking is usually not recommended but there may be certain children who are becoming compulsive liars or stealers and adults can be severely punished for these behaviors. Explain first to the children that lying and stealing destroys the trust between humans and they can no longer be good friends or no one will believe them anymore and that adults are punished for stealing with fines and jail. The threat of spanking should first be done for serious lying or stealing and then a consistent follow through with the spanking punishment if the intentional lying or stealing occurs again.

 

Discuss the logical consequences or reasons why bad behavior should not be tolerated.

Parents are usually not very good at this.

Reasons against fighting can be physical pain or harm on another, causing aggressive emotions and actions in another or probable bad retaliation, parents don’t physically fight with one another because they love one another and want to live together peacefully, and finally adult fighting is called physical abuse or battery and aggression punishable by jail time.

Reasons against yelling indoors is that it disturbs or annoys others who may not be able to concentrate on what they are doing, it is usually done in emergencies such as an accident, and it is usually done outdoors to cover a larger communication distance and to signal danger such as a speeding car or bicycle, etc.

Reasons for being polite, kind, considerate, empathetic, and friendly is that most humans will like you more and may even become a friend.

 

Non negotiable arguments for younger children.

There are just times when something isn’t fair in the child’s mind or when the child asserts his or her stubborn self and refuses to do something no matter how reasonable it may be. These are time when the parent has to say “yes, it isn’t fair” or “I know” and proceeds to enforce the rules saying Me and Mom are in charge of the family and rule enforcement and we are the final authority in making decisions for the children in the family. When you have children of your own then you can be the boss over them when they are young.

 

Finally the most important thing is to be a good role model for your children since most children ultimately behave like their parents later in life and act the same way towards their own children also. If you want your children to not smoke, not drink, not do drugs, not curse, not gamble, not fight, not frequently argue and if you want them to be polite, kind, courteous, empathetic, friendly, and loving then be that way yourself and interact appropriately with your spouse and other humans.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1141!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4200 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 880!!!

fotorcreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3800 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 839!!!

fotorcreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3800 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 797!!!

FotorCreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3700 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 690!!!

FotorCreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3600 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 647!!!

FotorCreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3600 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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8 IMPORTANT FACTORS IN CLOSE GOOD RELATIONSHIPS!!!

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If you have integrity and are trustworthy, dependable, competent, friendly, and empathetic then your chances of forming close, good relationships is optimized. Being immoral and having many bad habits or one or more severe handicapping bad addictions will almost always ruin the possibility of close, good relationships. That being said there are 8 important factors which affect the strength of a bonding relationship:

TRUST:

Trust is the most important bonding characteristic which makes a relationship possible in the first place. Being honest, sincere, and moral or having integrity means that a relationship can potentially flourish if nurtured further.

Lie, steal, or commit adultery and trust can’t exist. Some dysfunctional relationships continue to exist without trust because of fear of abandonment or the fear of physical violence but these relationships are definitely not good or happy ones.

COMMUNICATION:

A relationship is threatened and often ruined if the communication is very bad, if there is very little of it, and definitely ruined when there is no communication at all.

Ideal communication is being a good listener, asking relevant questions, being relatively brief in responses, respecting opposing opinions or beliefs, not being verbally abusive or offensive, and interrupting or changing the subject if the conversation becomes too verbose, too trivial, too emotional, or irrelevant.

RESPECT:

If you have integrity then you will be respected but respect can also be increased with appropriate kindness, gratitude, caring, empathy, openness, listening, dependability, responsibility, competence, expertise, confidence, tolerance of opposing opinions and beliefs, and respect increases by not being verbally or physically abusive. A socially prominent respected human will often also be admired.

RESPONSIBILITY:

A responsible human accepts the consequences of his or her actions and does not try to find excuses or blame others for his or her own mistakes and failures. Moral, parental, behavioral, and financial responsibility is essential for a good relationship.

COOPERATION:

Sharing and/or compromising on parental, household, and financial responsibilities is the essence of what cooperation is. Mutually agreeing on what is to be done by who at what time is what cooperation between two or more individuals means. Whether it is between two individuals or an entire team or organization a good relationship depends on successful cooperation.

BEING GOOD ROLE MODELS:

A good relationship thrives if the participants in the relationship are good role models. This is particularly important in parenting where offspring will do what you do rather than do what you tell them to do. Words are rather weak motivators if your personal behavior and your words don’t match up. If you are a good friend then associate with humans who are also good friends or try to mostly have relationships with good role model humans.

Realistically not that many are good role models and you will also have to learn how to interact with quite a few bad role models in the course of a lifetime without becoming overly cynical, jaded, or spoiled.

INDIVIDUAL FREEDOM:

In any relationship one must respect individual interests and pursuits which make a relationship interesting and potentially more rewarding. Encouraging or motivating someone to pursue their individual interests and build upon their strengths is usually good for a relationship.

PATIENCE:

Not every problem or confrontation needs an urgent solution. Sometimes some research, further discussion, consulting with competent adults, and just letting more time to pass determines whether mutual agreement is possible or whether a live and let live attitude is preferable.

Transient angry confrontations should be minimized by patiently waiting until a given situation can be calmly discussed instead. Angry confrontations often cause insults, put downs, name calling, humiliation, and ridicule which just creates bad feelings and no resolution of the conflict.  

Important problems with potential solutions need patient waiting until enough information and resolve grows to a point where a solution is obvious and possible.

Most parental relationships have a dominant or controlling partner who makes most of the important family decisions and runs the risk of becoming too tyrannical and impulsive with her or his demands. Emotional patience is often a virtue and patiently doing something is less of a virtue especially if it takes the form of procrastination on too many things.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 468!!!

FotorCreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

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THE TRUTH ABOUT PARENTING

parenting-styles_1

The goal of parenting should be to raise moral, hardworking, dependable, independent adults without very bad habits such as alcoholism, drugs, and gambling and hope that they will somehow find success and happiness in their lives.

Raising offspring who don’t lie, aren’t deceptive, don’t steal, are not promiscuous, and are dependable is a hard job in a world filled with lies, deceptions, promiscuity, and irresponsibility. If you raise moral offspring they will also have to learn that many others lie, deceive, are promiscuous, and are irresponsible and that this applies to organizations as well as individual humans.

Teaching your offspring to be honest, sincere, and dependable in a sea of lying, irresponsible, deceptive humanity is not easy and if you are a close to perfect moral role model there will be plenty of role models in society not to imitate because they are morally corrupt and are leading dysfunctional lives.

Teaching your offspring to successfully navigate through those bad social role models and seek out the good role models is not an easy task but it is your job, especially for young offspring, to expose them to as many good role models in society as possible and that is basically monitoring the friends which your offspring associate with.

Teaching your offspring to become independent adults is not easy in a technological world where liberal arts is increasingly job poor. You should encourage them to embrace as much technology as possible and motivate them to pursue technological careers but not stress out too much if they choose a liberal arts field, especially if they excel in it.

You and your spouse are the most important role models in your offspring’s lives. If you are not moral, hardworking, dependable, and independent then don’t expect your offspring to become much better or have more success in their lives than you.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, approximately 700 so far, and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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THE TRUTH ABOUT OFFSPRING

parents-who-discipline-their-children

If you are employed and married with offspring then offspring will cost you much money and will become priority number one in your lives. Love will have to be shared with spouse and offspring.

Especially when they are young and if you have more than one, offspring will take up much of your time and will have to be disciplined appropriately and taught many basic social skills from scratch.

Teaching how to share toys and even food is a constant struggle since offspring are very selfish when they start out and their behavior will constantly overflow into an area called bad behavior which is unacceptable and will need constant supervision.

The rebellion of the teenage years is going to be difficult. If they haven’t been taught to be as independent and responsible as possible then they will begin to feel entitled and this may last on into early adulthood with unemployed offspring living with parents and not being able to survive on their own in the real world.

Young adults frequently still don’t know what they want to be in life and a liberal arts background may make them job poor and only qualified to work at minimum wage doing something not very rewarding or satisfying.

Having responsible offspring who like to work hard and have acquired a truly useful technological educational background is a rarity and if you can motivate offspring in such a direction then they will be dependent on your financial support for a much shorter duration.

Offspring above all need good role models to imitate and if you are not a good role model and can’t find good ones to associate with then your offspring will imitate your bad habits and not grow up well. They will probably not become well adjusted employed adults and parents themselves.

CONCLUSION:

Parenting basically means being a good role model. If you come from a dysfunctional family then you also will probably be a bad parent and you should seriously consider having no offspring at all or just one.

Not only will it cost you less financially but if you ruin your offspring’s life it will be just one life and not more than one life ruined due to your incompetence.

If you have serious personality flaws or addictions to compulsive shopping, promiscuity, gambling, pornography, alcohol and drugs, etc. then you should have no offspring at all nor should you probably marry because divorce is almost inevitable.

You may consider yourself to be a good role model but remember that raising offspring in an increasingly hedonistic immoral society which is tolerant of lying and deceptions is going to be an uphill struggle if you want to raise honest, sincere, reliable, trustworthy, and functional offspring.

Parenting is hard, time consuming, expensive work. If you have better or more important things to do with your life then don’t become a parent. The world does not really need more humans on the face of this precious, endangered, overpopulated planet.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, approximately 600 so far, and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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WATCH OUT!!! OFFSPRING WILL IMITATE YOU AND OTHER HUMANS!!!!!!

Girl-Imitating-Adult

   IMITATION

Imitation or copying one’s behavior is the way that over 90% of behavior learning exists.  Offspring start by imitating their parents, but soon also start imitating their brothers, sisters, friends and rolemodels.  Offspring need good rolemodels to imitate, and in the absence of good rolemodels, offspring will struggle to become good citizens in society.

Motivating your offspring to copy your good behaviors and the good behaviors of others is one of the most important jobs that you have as a parent.  But since every parent is less than perfect, the odds are very great that another human(s) can do what the parent should do, only much better.   If an offspring is to grow up to be better than the parents, it is an important responsibility for a parent to find the good human(s) and identify it for the offspring,  a human(s) who possesses better behaviors and useful new or better skills.

The following expressions urge your children to copy yourself and others.

“Do it because I do it!”

“Copy me.”

“I’ll show you how.”

“Try to be an adult like me.”

“Maybe you can do it like me.”

“I will teach you as much as I can if you just do what I do.”

“Let me show you how to do it.”

“If I can do it better than you then try to copy it.”

“Imitate the leader.”

“You will be closer to being a big boy by doing it.  You will be doing it just like dad!”

“My but you are starting to behave like a big girl.   You do it just like mom!”

“Focus on me so that you will probably do it next time by yourself.”

“Practice it with me and soon you will be as good as me.”

“If you copy you will learn all the necessary behaviors quickly.”

“Copy your brother and/or sister and/or uncle and/or aunt and/or grandfather and/or grandmother and/or friend and/or teacher and/or coach and/or rolemodel.”

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially MODERN PARENTING.

To read a list and access any of my approximately 400 evergreen truth blogs follow me at twitter.com/uldissprogis and I am sure that you will find more than a handful of evergreen truth blogs which will interest you.

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8 IMPORTANT TASKS FOR FATHERS RAISING SONS

Father-and-son

TEACH HIM TO BE HONEST, SINCERE, AND RELIABLE

Teach him not to make promises that he can’t keep or has no intention of keeping or in effect teach him to be reliable. Teach him the difference between telling the truth and offending someone with the truth. Calling someone by a stereotypic adjective such as stupid, ugly, and crazy will hurt feelings and that he should instead say that the behavior was stupid or crazy and not the person him or herself. Name calling will only lead to unnecessary arguments and possible violent confrontation. Finally, teach him to always be honest or truthful with you and you should never lie to him.

BE AS GOOD A ROLE MODEL AS YOU CAN

Over 90% of your son’s behavior will be an imitation of your behavior so show affection and love towards your wife instead of dislike and hatred which shows up in the form of intense arguments and harsh criticisms about her bad behavior and/or appearance. You should try to have or develop emotional control and respond to your wife’s emotional outbursts with calmness and saying nothing at all if it is a confrontation where she is trying to win an argument at all costs with an unreasonable emotional response.

TRY TO BE A CARING MAN

Be a caring man towards your wife and son by being nurturing and protective. Nurture or support your wife and son in the good important things which they are interested in and protect your wife and son from bad influences and bad humans.

TEACH HIM THAT QUALITY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN QUANTITY

Teach him to be selective or want quality in the women, food, and possessions which he chooses. Emphasize and talk about a woman’s good or bad personality and smarts first and physical appearance last.  Don’t call women beautiful but use the word attractive instead. Tell him to eat healthy food which tastes good and eat as great a variety of healthy tasty food yourself. Emphasize quality possessions which are efficient, reliable, durable, and don’t cost too much. Emphasize that big is not always better but frequently that small and more efficient is better.

TEACH HIM BIRTH CONTROL AND TO DISAPPROVE OF PROMISCUITY

Tell him that birth control is essential until he can financially support a family and to minimize the risk of STD’s he should not be promiscuous during his single life. Tell him to have sex with quality women and not with sluts or prostitutes. Until he finds the right women to have sex with tell him that masturbation is OK if it is not done to excess.

COMMUNICATE ABOUT IMPORTANT THINGS IN HIS LIFE

Ask him many questions about girls, friends, and school and share his hopes, dreams, and concerns by listening closely to what he says and become his best friend whom he can ask for advice on anything. Listen carefully to what he says and respond appropriately. When he is young it is important to communicate in depth but as he gets older and more independent then you should communicate less and only communicate with him on important matters or events and not try to remain overly chatty with him about minutiae. Manly communication is short and sweet and to the point and not unnecessary verbosity or gossip.

TEACH HIM HOW TO INTERACT WITH STRANGERS AND CLOSE PERSONAL FRIENDS

Teach him social etiquette with strangers and how to have a polite conversation with them. Emphasize that social etiquette with close friends is a little different and that you don’t have to say thank you, nice to see you, have a nice day, and all those other pleasing pleasantries. Humans will sometimes be mean, nasty, and physically threatening to him out of aggressiveness, jealousy, and personal reasons so teach him that fighting back is frequently not the best response but saying nothing or turning around and walking away is frequently the best solution to a confrontation which threatens to escalate into violence.

TEACH HIM A NEW SECULAR MORAL CODE

Teach him a new secular morality and in a nutshell that is don’t destroy biodiversity, don’t lie, don’t be inefficient, don’t steal, don’t commit adultery if married, and don’t murder.

Tell him how important it is to maintain a healthy spacious environment for wildlife so that there will be a healthy gene pool to use if bad use of technology poisons the environment, domestic plants and animals to such an extent that it threatens human health to a large degree. Join the Sierra Club, the Nature Conservancy, the World Wildlife Fund or some other conservation organization and prominently display wildlife in you home with posters or calendars of wildlife, and view wildlife videos together on Youtube and elsewhere.

Tell him to be as efficient in his daily habits as possible. That means don’t waste time, energy, and money on rather trivial or unimportant activities.  Teach him to schedule his life as much as possible because scheduling is important in the work environment. Teach him to be an efficient conversationalist and have him spend more time on developing useful physical skills and acquiring knowledge in useful areas which may help him land a good job in the technological new future.

Too much time, energy, and money is wasted on entertainment and doing what feels good rather than on learning useful things such as the use of tools and self motivating oneself to acquire new knowledge and information on the internet about serious subject matter. Motivate him in learning about basic science, physics, chemistry, and biology as much as possible even though it may not be his ultimate career choice in life. Knowing about the laws of nature will help him to more logically think about the world and life.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE.

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PARENTING: IMITATION OF ROLE MODELS AND LEARNING FROM USEFUL KNOWLEDGE

follow-the-leader

There are limitations to imitating only parents.  Many humans other than parents are imitated throughout life and sources of new useful information are vital.

Due to the fast technological change in society, and due to the complex increase in specialized skills, no parent can claim to be an expert on everything, not even their young offspring.  It is the responsibility of parents to try to guarantee that their offspring are learning from the best people and the best media sources that their money can afford and their rank in society can help.

Things which you can say to your offspring:

“If you need better role models to imitate, then find other human’s and/or information sources which can teach you.”

“Make friends with a human who can teach you a new and useful skill and/or knowledge and/or give you a useful new experience in life.”

“Find someone to teach you.”

“If math is a problem, ask a friend who is good at it to help.”

”If you want to learn how to drive a motorcycle then find and pay a motorcyclist who can teach you.”

“Find the right information source to learn from.”

“Find an instructional video or DVD and learn from it.”

“Use the internet and/or books and/or magazines to teach you.”

“A professional teacher may not be the best or most economical source for teaching beginning basic skills which require much patience and repetition so learn as much as you can on your own first.”

“Learn as much as you can by yourself and we will find pros when you can’t further teach yourself successfully.”

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them and one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially MODERN PARENTING.

To read a list and access any of my over 400 evergreen truth blogs follow me at twitter.com/uldissprogis and I am sure that you will find more than a handful of evergreen truth blogs which will interest you.

Enjoy!!!!!!