YOU HAVE A SHARED MORALITY:
You both trust one another or are honest, sincere, dependable, and trustworthy, and feel secure that neither one of you will cheat on the other financially or sexually. This basically means that you have a strong common morality which you believe in which is don’t lie, don’t steal, and don’t commit adultery if married.
YOU MUTUALLY CARE OR NURTURE AND PROTECT ONE ANOTHER:
Your thoughts and feelings are mutually shared and not hidden from one another thus promoting trust.
You optimistically encourage and praise or nurture one another when you succeed at doing something important or when things are going very good. When things are not going very good you try to maintain an optimism that things will get better with appropriate changes or solutions to bad problems.
You try to protect one another from bad habits, bad influences, and bad humans. You encourage the replacement or reduction of bad habits with good ones, try and prevent a minor problem from becoming a bad irritating habit, and steer relationships with others to good role model friends and not bad ones. Where offspring are involved you try to make sure that your offspring are associating with good role model offspring and not bad ones.
You try to work as a team giving each other help when it seems necessary for better functioning.
You display affection almost on a daily basis with personal gestures and pet names for each other and appropriate kissing.
You know your partner’s goals and hopes for the future and you enjoy supporting or nurturing the important ones.
Leading by example is important to raising a successful family. Being a good parent role model teaches respect, work ethic, and social appropriateness and is not saying bad things about your partner, using physical force to get what you want, or neglecting the needs of your dependents. This teaches offspring that abusive relationships are not acceptable.
YOU HAVE GOOD COMMUNICATION:
You rarely express contempt for your partner by cussing at them, calling them crazy or stupid, and stereotyping their behavior in other ways such as saying that you ALWAYS do that when it is not true in all cases.
Trying to answer questions in as short and understandable way as possible is important but this is only possible after having been a GOOD LISTENER and having understood what is being communicated. Being a good listener not only means getting the point or points but also correctly getting the emotional tone of what is being said. Sometimes all that a partner is looking for is emotional support and not necessarily any physical help in resolving a problem.
Good communication does not include yelling, blaming, threats, demands, name calling, or threatening suicide if your partner leaves.
You discuss rather than argue when you disagree on something and try to see the other’s point of view as usually being reasonable if not very acceptable to you personally.
You think your partner has good ideas quite frequently and they are ideas which you are willing to try to see if they work better or are solutions to problems.
You have talked enough to have intimate knowledge of your partner’s past and present life. For example, you know his or her favorite and not so favorite things in life such as a favorite book, song, food, relative, proudest offspring moment and most embarrassing offspring moment. You know his or her best friend’s best trait and his or her worst characteristic and you generally know the kind of humans that he or she comes into contact on a daily basis.
YOU HAVE FINANCIAL SECURITY:
You know how to budget your money and don’t go into excessive debt with impulsive over spending. You either both have good jobs or one of you has a good enough paying job to support you and one offspring for a year or more. You are smart enough to have a savings account or very secure investment for life’s emergencies, offspring higher education, and retirement.
YOU TRY TO BE EFFICIENT:
Not wasting time, energy, and money is not only important on the job but is also important in a good relationship. You schedule your work time and you should also try to schedule your family time so there is always time to spend on important things such as getting enough sleep, some exercise, a good healthy meal, time with the offspring, and time with each other.
If you are efficient with your family life then you will have more promises fulfilled, less time spent on trivial pursuits which just waste time, energy, and money, and you will have time left over to improve your lives with more knowledge and new skills which can come in handy for a better paying job or career. Your life will be more predictable, interesting, and fulfilling if you budget your time, energy, and money wisely and do it by the clock or a schedule where you establish the important priorities in your lives and focus more attention on them to mutual benefit.
To set important priorities in family life you can ask these questions: What am I spending time on now? How much time am I spending on it? How important is the activity in our lives? Which priorities should I spend more time, energy, and money on?
Human society is very inefficient and selfindulgent with too much emphasis on mindless entertainment. Eliminate much of the mindless entertainment from your lives or reduce it to a bare minimum and you will have successful useful goal oriented relationships which grow in value and happiness as time progresses.
Excluding or severely reducing the time spent on bad lazy fruitless time consuming habits is not going to be easy because you are getting some satisfaction by doing them but if you succeed in replacing or reducing the old time consuming bad habits and increasing the time spent on good habits then the whole family will benefit!!!!!!
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