Tag Archives: trustworthiness

UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1186!!!

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UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1175!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

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6 SMALL TIPS ON MILDLY INFLUENCING HUMANS!!!

The real major way to influence humans in a good way, be respected, and maybe even be admired is to have integrity or be honest and moral, be trustworthy, sincere, dependable, friendly, competent, empathetic, and a good conversationalist. If you have mutual interests and share them then you are well on your way to having a good impact or influence on others and you will probably benefit in major ways yourself.

That said, here are 6 helpful small tips which will increase your ability to influence others and perhaps be better liked.

Asking small favors if done right will make humans like you more if you have had little interaction with them to start with. Most humans like to help others and feel good about it after they have helped, especially if it costs them very little time, little effort, and almost no money in the process. Asking for a favor is especially effective if it is something which the human loves, likes, or enjoys such as a favorite food, drink, or book. If you generally agree or express a liking for something a human likes then they generally will like you more.

Start with- “Could you do me a small favor?” (and smile)

“I’ll pay for it but could you please bring me back a sample of your favorite donut, cookie, candy, sandwich, taco, soft drink, beer, wine, etc.?”

“Could I please borrow the book that you read and enjoyed?”

“Could I please borrow the book after you are finished with it?”

“Could I please borrow for a day your rake, shovel, blower, power tool, blender, etc.”

“Please lend me your _ for a minute, hour, or day.”

“May I use your telephone for an important call?”

“Would you mind closing the window?”

Could you help me with my homework?

“Could you take a look at this email and recommend an answer?”

 

If you want humans to think highly of you then remembering and using their NAME is one of the most important things in relationships, especially if you will not see the human for a long time but will run into them again in a casual way.

 

Flattery can be used sparingly and in its best form it is sincere praise. “Great job, that was masterful, loved what you did, gorgeous outfit, inspiring performance, couldn’t have done it better, wow, impressive, you are special, etc.” Be careful because if you flatter someone who doesn’t deserve it then it can backfire as insincere phony exaggeration.

 

Unless you’re a boss telling someone that they are wrong or correcting their mistakes, correcting puts humans in defensive mode trying to protect their ego and they will not be very receptive to any requests which you may decide to make or follow up with.

 

One of the best ways to bond or show empathy for a human is to repeat something which they have said and that makes humans aware that you are listening to them or are interested in what they are saying. They will be more comfortable and friendly with you since you seem to care about them by this repetition or reflective listening.

 

Nodding at someone during a conversation seems to imply that you are agreeing with them and they are more likely to do you a favor when you ask for it or in effect they are nodding back and agreeing with you.

 

While these 6 tips are not that important in old close friendships they are sometimes useful in casual acquaintances or friendships.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

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INTERNET OR TEXTING COMMUNICATIONS WITH MEN BEFORE THE FIRST DATE!!!

Before offering advice on communicating with potential dates on the internet or with texting it is important to state why so much of the communication is unsuccessful.

 

One major reason that successful communication is so difficult is that there are many males and some females who are deceptive and lie over the internet posing as someone who they really are not. They basically are afraid to reveal who they truly are because they fear that they won’t be physically attractive enough or financially well off enough. They may try to post fake pictures and claim to hold down great jobs when in reality they are average looking and unemployed or working at minimum wage. So try not to be gullible and maintain a healthy suspicion if he sounds too good to be true.

 

The second reason that successful internet communication is so difficult is that most of the males and also females are really not ready for serious dating. The primary reasons may be because of no job or poor income and any real attempts at dating usually result in very disappointing colossal failures because serious dating usually consumes much time, energy, and money.

 

Your whole purpose for texting or communicating with men should be to eventually find out if they are going to be a good marital or business partner. You may be a modern promiscuous female just having fun and falsely assuming that what all men really want is immediate sexual intimacy. You may honestly feel that sex should be given to any male that interests you greatly and you will find many playboy males who want to show you a good time but no eventual commitment.

 

Texting or meeting a new human face to face for the first time is basically the same approach. You want to quickly find out if the man is going to be a good potential friend or mate without being too flirtatious or beating around the bush. If the man is just texting or searching for naïve females to take advantage of them sexually then it is better to find out the truth as soon as possible rather than beat around the bush with vague and emotionally fulfilling communications.

 

You ideally want a male who has integrity, is trustworthy, is dependable, is competent, and a good communicator. He should be someone who is not afraid to answer tough and eventually somewhat personal questions so don’t be afraid to ask tough questions and eventually some rather personal questions. You want men with the courage to confront almost any question that you may ask. If you feel that you may have offended him with some comment then quickly apologize and move on in the relationship as long as it lasts.

 

If you are an average looking female without a college education hoping to land a successful college educated male with a good career or job then you are usually wasting your time. If you are a college educated woman with a good career or job then beware of males without adequate education who have no job or very poor ones, especially if they are very handsome. The old saying is still basically true that “birds of a feather flock together” so try to stay away from males outside your comfort and educational zone unless you are extremely attractive and sexy.

 

In effect don’t aim too high and don’t aim too low in desperate fashion because the probability of making the right long duration connection with a male is rather low or remote over the internet or in person.

 

Here are some suggested questions to ask:

 

What do you do for a living?

This question may frighten away many males who have no job or poor ones and that is precisely the reason for the question because you don’t want to waste your time and energy on a financially poor male. If the male has a good job then he will be very willing to tell you about it and maybe brag a little. Talking about his job is a good way to boost his ego with further follow up questions about the job.

Have you always done x for a living?

This is a good follow up question to the first one because you can maybe catch a male in a lie about his job or profession if his prior jobs do not fit his current job status plausibly.

Are you a local?

Long distance relationships fail quite frequently so unless you have the money to travel stay with potential local relationships and stay away from long distance ones.

Long distance relationships are like exciting honeymoons every time you briefly meet physically and are very deceptive indicators of lasting happiness. If you or the male move and live together for a year you may decide that the relationship was never meant to be a lasting one.

What do you do in your free time?

This question will reveal whether the male is just vegetating or doing some interesting things to fill his free time such as trying to improve himself or mostly spending his money on rather trivial pursuits.

Do you have any hobbies?

A good mate is one who usually has a life outside of work so hobbies are one way of determining where his interests also lie outside of work.

How long have you had that hobby?

Some men will brag and maybe deceive females into thinking that they have expensive and interesting hobbies so this is a way to find out if he is deceiving you or has had the hobby for a relatively long time.

Do you have any children?

This question and theme will eventually find out if he is recently divorced or maybe is still married.

 

After these few initial questions you can end the first or initial interaction until the next time when you can continue to probe deeper with more personal questions.

 

Do you like your job?

If he doesn’t like his job then you can ask a follow up question and ask if he is going to do anything about a lousy job. You can find out if he has bigger plans or will be stuck in a miserable job on into the near foreseeable future.

How long have you lived here?

You will find out if he is a native local or someone relocating due to job or other reasons.

Do you have many friends?

You can find out if he is somewhat of an extrovert or maybe an introvert with few friends and maybe only one close friend.

What are your future plans?

This will reveal whether the male has some ambition or has too much unrealistic ambition and is vainly hoping to become a celebrity star in some field.

What interesting places have you travelled to?

You can find out if his interests are local or international in scope. A follow up question would be -Where would you like to travel to if you had the opportunity?

What is your favorite food or drink?

Eating is a universal pleasurable pastime and you can find out whether he cooks himself, is a junk food addict, one eating much organic food, or a food gourmet going to restaurants.

Are you on Facebook or Instagram?

You can determine how deeply into social media he is with follow up questions.

After determining whether they are a potential future friend or mate ask for personal information such as an email or telephone number and use phrases such as- It was great talking to you. It would be nice if we kept in touch. What is your email or cellphone number?

Finally, before an actual first date it is important to call the man and speak to him over the phone verbally. You will usually find out pretty quickly if he is the same man on the phone as he is on the internet. Voice fluctuations and his ability to think on his feet instantaneously will become apparent with a phone call and you can often sense if the right vibes are there for actual first date attempts.

 

 

The next questions and some direct quotes with some variations are based on Matthew Hussey’s article “9 Magic Texts No Man Can Resist”. Frankly you should be suspicious of any article with the term Magic in it and celebrity Hussey is guilty of misleading a mass audience of women in this instance.

 

When he asks you what you’re up to?

 

If you are doing something interesting or have plans to do something which doesn’t sound boring then tell him honestly what you are up to. If you are up to nothing then you can say “I’m taking a shower and will head out later.” If he follows up with “where are you going to head out?” then you had better be prepared to tell him where or he will suspect that you are lying. That is why it is important to be as truthful as possible and not be lying or deceptive in your answers.

If you don’t think that you are a very interesting human doing interesting things then stay single and start on a course of self improvement before you seriously try to make internet connections with males.

 

“Just bought this. What do you think?”

 

Men are visual creatures and will respond to a picture of you which is attractive but not overly sexy. He will probably compliment you in some way and it is an opportunity to find out if it is a sincere compliment or an exaggerated and insincere one.

 

“You should be here right now.”

 

This suggests that you would want him to be where you are because seemingly something interesting or exciting is going on. Once again he could ask why? Then you will be in a bind if you are not doing anything interesting or exciting. Once again vague statements can be intriguing and good sources for follow up communication but you should be ready to explain or state WHY or you will come across as a deceptive fraud if you aren’t doing anything interesting or exciting.

 

“I just had an incredible burger! Almost sexual.”

 

Men like food so a tasty food discovery is always an exciting event. However, be careful about inserting sexual in your phrase unless you may want to get personally sexually intimate in the near future. These days women are more promiscuous than in earlier times but I would reserve sexual intimacy for men who are potentially good marriage partners and you have known them long enough to feel that they are potential good marital partners.

 

“This jacket would look attractive on you.”

 

You could use the same sentence with “look HOT on you” but that has sexual connotations and should be used only if you think he considers you more as a friend than a romantic relationship. Using the word hot can be considered sexual baiting if you don’t intend to get sexual with him any time soon.

 

“As hot as you are, I don’t move that fast.” “But I would be happy to see your handsome face if you want to take me on a date this or next week.”

“Let’s start out as friends and consider sexual intimacy when and if we become close friends.” “ But I would be happy to see your handsome face if you want to take me on a date this or next week.” (This is an honest smart response designed for a smart male.”

This is a good way to turn away a premature sexual advance yet convey your opinion that he is sexually attractive but you are not ready to get sexually intimate. Whether you believe it or not men who are interested in a future wife don’t want one that is sexually promiscuous or one who is overly free with her sexual intimacy. If you develop a reputation as a woman who sleeps around a lot then you will attract many noncommittal males.

 

“I am not sure we can be friends anymore”

 

This can either mean that you are breaking up the friendship or you want the relationship to develop past the friendship phase. You may be asked WHY so make sure that you have a truthful answer which makes sense. “I want our relationship to become more exclusive because my feelings for you are becoming rather intense.” or “I want a more exclusive relationship with you.”  or “I think I may be falling in love with you.”

Conclusion:

Being honest and expecting honesty should be the guiding principle in any male female interaction. If the male is caught in an intentional lie or is being intentionally deceptive about something important then drop him like a hot potato. Trust is the bond which makes for lasting relationships. Start lying and trust breaks down and there is no good relationship.

Make sure first that you are a woman a man needs and make sure the man is someone you need beyond just a mere sugar daddy or a man financially well off.

You want a male who appreciates you for who you are and who you are hoping to become. Stay single until you are genuinely a good catch for a male that fits your idea of a good father who will be a parent to your future offspring. Ideally he should be a motivating or encouraging, confident, interesting personality who will grow with you in a relationship and in life skills and not become a repetitive uninteresting bore stagnating in life.

STAY SINGLE until you have much more to offer in a relationship than just your vagina! If you want someone with integrity or morality and honesty, trustworthiness, dependability, competence, and with a good job then be someone with integrity, trustworthiness, dependability, competence, and a good job. Yes, many men ideally prefer beautiful, sexy, females but few can realistically afford them because they are usually high maintenance.

Promiscuity is a great enemy to lasting marital relationships. Promiscuity is a bad addictive habit. Adultery is almost inevitable in formerly promiscuous males and females. My opinions on dating may seem conservative and traditional in many ways but they are tried and true techniques which seldom fail in real life in the long duration. Give in to the promiscuity temptation and you are very likely to join the vast number of eventual failed marriages in the modern world if you get that far.

Due to economic uncertainty and a premium on technological jobs, if you are the average liberal arts major then plan for a rather poor single existence for a relatively long duration. Many are choosing to continue living with their parents if permitted after graduation and becoming financially independent and living on your own is becoming increasingly difficult.

Female biological clocks are always ticking but rushing into a marriage in desperation is often a formula for failure and much sustained misery in life.

As long as you are slowly trying to improve yourself in an enthusiastic, determined way then the odds for landing a good future male also increase. Above everything else, never stop trying to get better because a better man should eventually pop up in your life and decide to stay.

My sister in law had quite a few failed relationships in her life until she met her  husband at the age of 50. Yes, she will never have offspring of her own but she is finally married and it seems happily married for the time being. Those prior men frankly primarily used her for sex and never intended to make a long duration commitment.

Some women may feel that being used sexually is better than being ignored but that is not a recipe for long duration happiness for most females.

No one is the final authority on dating in the modern world including myself. Humans vary widely in looks, abilities, and circumstances. Use your own further research to find dating pointers from other sources which maybe fit your own view of male female relationships better. Some relationships can be quite playful with their share of bullshit so adjust your dating to some males who are a little on the risky side if you want some unpredictability and excitement in a relationship.

There is another saying that “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.” It basically means that you should take calculated risks occasionally or you will not gain anything or gain useful knowledge, experience, and achievement. Take a chance and you might succeed or at least learn from the failure and get more emotional intelligence about human males and humans in general.

I offer the following link for all those who have not analyzed themselves or have not taken the time to know themselves. You will find out that it greatly helps to know yourself before you try to improve yourself which is what life should be all about if you want to be happy in the long duration.

https://uldissprogis.com/2017/12/22/analyzing-yourself-to-know-thyself/

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4300 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

THE TRUTH ABOUT THE BIG 5 PERSONALITY “TRAITS”!!!

The theoretical big 5 personality traits are extraversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, neuroticism, and openness.

Trust is supposedly a subset of agreeableness but it isn’t because if you have a tendency to not trust someone then your neuroticism will increase, your openness will decrease, you will become less of an extrovert, and have a less agreeable attitude. About the only personality ”trait” which will remain relatively unaffected will be your conscientiousness. A tendency to trust others or be suspicious of humans is a far more important behavior attitude and behavior and trustworthiness can be considered to be a relatively independent and very important personality trait.

If you have a friendly helping attitude and behavior towards others and are empathetic, caring, kind, affectionate, and altruistic then it is not a subset of agreeableness only. You will tend to be more extroverted, less neurotic, more open, and more agreeable. So empathy, caring, kindness, affection, and altruism are not subsets of agreeableness. They are however a subset of conformity to accepted social norms for friendly helping behavior. Agreeableness is not a unique personality trait but merely a tendency to conform or a subset of conformity to accepted social norms.

Neuroticism is just a manifestation of neurosis which is basically too much anxiety with avoidance behaviors. Sadness, mood swings, and emotional instability are not common to all neurotics since healthy individuals also experience sadness and mood swings in various degrees. You don’t have to be sad or moody and be emotionally unstable. Neuroticism is not a personality “trait” but rather a dysfunctional way of handling the stress of everyday life.

Openness is basically an individual who welcomes the possibility of change and someone who is not open tends to resist change of any kind and is often in a status quo personal position and will almost dogmatically defend it. Openness if defined as a willingness to change or a willingness to be exposed to or try new things such as new ideas and new experiences would almost be acceptable. Openness then is an adventurous and curious attitude about life which creative individuals often need. Openness also implies an absence of secrecy or frank behavior so the definition of openness is very subjective since you can also be open to immoral or criminal behavior too. Openness is too subjective and complex a concept to have an accurate non contradictory definition and can’t be considered to be a well defined personality ”trait”.

 

Conscientiousness could be considered to be a relatively well defined personality trait because it is basically adequate caring and devoted effort to doing right.

Conscientious:  adj. adequate caring and devoted effort to do right

 

Extraversion could be a relatively well defined personality trait since some humans are more sociable and overtly expressive with other humans.

Extrovert: n. a sociable human with a tendency to be overtly expressive

 

Thus as you can see the big 5 personality “traits” have been watered down to only 2 big personality traits- extroversion and conscientiousness. The number one in importance is the personality trait of trustworthiness. There are actually the updated big 3 personality traits so far.

Trustworthiness: adj. having integrity and dependability and competence

 

Trait: n. a genetically inherited observable characteristic of an organism

Type: n. a subset

 

As you can see by the definition of trait it is really more accurate to call a personality trait a personality TYPE and not trait which is genetically determined and not conditioned behavior.

 

The updated big 3 personality TYPES are trustworthiness, extroversion, and conscientiousness.

It is also debatable whether conformity and changeability should not be added to form the updated new 5 big personality types and eliminate agreeableness and openness as valid classifications.

Humans have degrees of conformity in general and degrees of conformity to specific human behaviors such as empathy, kindness, altruism, secrecy, friendliness, helpfulness, habits, etc. Similarly humans have degrees of changeability in general and tendencies or degrees of change to specific behaviors such as habits, creativity, curiosity, morality, secrecy, honesty, friendliness, helpfulness, etc. Degree of changeability can also refer to the degree of changeability in ideas, beliefs, opinions, habits, etc. or anything which a human can do.

Thus conformity is really a subset of changeability which is a reflection of how much of a conformist you really are not subject to change. Thus you can make statements such as his degree of conformity to a belief is very large and the probability of change in that belief is very small. He tries to conform to the opinions of authority figures but the probability of change in his opinions is minimal. He conforms to the stereotype of a chronic gambler and the probability that he will change that habit is minimal baring a financial crisis.

Personality: n. 100% of the behavioral characteristics which make up a unique individual

From this definition you can see that a human personality has personality subsets or types and this is why many humans are stereotyped based on a dominant personality subset. The human has a dominant personality which is trustworthy, conscientious, extroverted, friendly, moral, creative, altruistic, and non conformist. Non dominant personality subsets are also used to describe someone’s personality and they are often inaccurate stereotypes so humans say that someone is kind, empathetic, clever, secretive, and helpful. etc. For some humans a non dominant personality subset such as helpfulness can become a dominant personality subset such as extreme altruism where you are helpful beyond the common human norms for helpful behavior.

It is more accurate to say that a human has an extroverted or friendly personality than to say that a human has a kind or helpful personality.This is because non dominant personality behaviors should usually not be thought of a personality stereotype which accurately reflects a person’s true personality as do more dominant personality subsets which represent a much larger and often more complex portion of a human’s total personality.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4200 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 847!!!

fotorcreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3800 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 584!!!

FotorCreated

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 3500 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/