Tag Archives: trustworthiness

GOOD RELATIONSHIPS!!!

Most young adults were asked what would make them happy and a popular response is to have money or be rich and famous. In a longitudinal Harvard study beginning in the 1930’s and still going on about 75 years later the conclusion seems to be that GOOD RELATIONSHIPS are the key to a happy life. We will investigate what a good relationship is and how you can optimize the chances that you will have good relationships throughout a lifetime.

There are many kinds of relationships which can even be called forms of friendships which are very close, close, casual, and rather remote or what could be called acquaintances.

There are minimal or borderline relationships where the contact between a human is minimal or even nonexistent. We are talking here about the relationships which you may have with national politicians, celebrities, writers, or hero like role models which you mostly just view, listen to, or read about but they still impact your life and choices to some extent. Most of these interactions are almost a one way street where you view, listen, or read but don’t actually have physical contact with the human beyond just voting for a politician, attending a celebrity gathering,  just viewing a video, listening to a podcast, or reading about someone in an article or book.

Our primary focus will be on adult relationships because parental relationships between parent and child have a different dynamic since most parents are in charge or are responsible for supervising their offspring or adopted children. If you want to learn more about parent child relationships then read my book MODERN PARENTING by Uldis Sprogis on Amazon.

Perhaps a good starting point to understand what a good relationship is, we should briefly cover what bad relationships are so that you can try to avoid them.

In a bad relationship the human lies much and can’t be trusted, is immoral, the human is not dependable, is incompetent, has bad addictions, or is not a good conversationalist.

In a bad marital relationship the spouse may be verbally and even physically abusive and argues most of the time about even rather trivial things. At the other extreme a spouse may be non communicative and basically ignores the partner most of the time. This too is a bad relationship.

Not so obvious is the fact that bad relationships should be terminated as soon as possible. If it is a bad spousal relationship then divorce is a very real option and if it is a bad friend then you should seriously consider ending the friendship since it will handicap you in the long duration.

Trust is the bond which keeps good relationships going and if you can’t trust someone then a good relationship is not possible. If a relationship without trust exists then it is a highly dysfunctional one with a lot of misery associated with it. Some spouses stay in a bad relationship because they believe it is best for the children or out of financial necessity but this is a fallacy because if you are in a dysfunctional spousal relationship then you are a terrible role model for the children who will grow up and also probably be dysfunctional in their marital relationship. So integrity or being honest and moral is vital to a trusting good relationship.

In a nutshell if you have integrity, are trustworthy, dependable, competent, sincere, friendly, a good conversationalist, and empathetic then you have the potential to be respected and maybe even admired by others. Yes, you can be admired for just being rich but if you don’t have the above good personality then you will not be respected by most humans.

Some humans complain that they don’t have interesting friends whom they can interact with. The truth is that if you want interesting friends then you YOURSELF must also be interesting so that you can share mutual satisfying interests. If you are looking for a friend who has a great personality, is friendly, is optimistic, and does interesting things and has the time and money to do those things then you too must have a great personality, be friendly, be optimistic, and have the time and money to pursue those interesting things.

Not commonly realized is the basic fact that the more interests which you have in common in a relationship, the chances are that you will have a better relationship since it won’t become that boring very soon. So basically if you are an interesting human with many interests then the chances of meeting someone with one or more similar interests is more probable.

Before you go out looking for good relationships make sure that you have one or more important things to offer someone. If your personality is not that great then make an effort to improve it before you try to enter relationships. Similarly, if you have almost no important interests to talk about then start finding some interests to make you more of a magnet in a relationship.

Sometimes you find out that a human is interested in something which you wish you knew more about. Take some time out to research the interest and learn the basics about it. Then get back to them and continue the conversation by showing that you did some research into the interest and have some unanswered questions. Most will appreciate that you really put in some effort trying to understand their area of interest and most will gladly share their experiences with the interest. This approach is especially valuable if you have a gut feeling that you like a human’s personality and would like to include them on your friend’s or networking list.

Ultimately you should put in much effort improving yourself first, before you start looking for someone that you may want to connect with. Become someone with an optimistic attitude and friendly personality for starters and then make yourself into an interesting human even though it probably won’t happen overnight.

To start a relationship you must interact with humans who potentially have similar interests and some of the best places to meet others is on the job, with friends of relatives, with friends of friends, at events which interest you and that you attend, at social gatherings like weddings, sporting events, religious services, community events, volunteering, political campaigns, and on the internet via social media, dating sites, and clubs or causes. Yes, you can also meet humans at bars, the coffee shop, movie theater, and in the supermarket but the chances that you will meet someone compatible are rather remote.

Knowing thyself is very important in life and if you don’t know or are unaware of your bad habits and good ones then you really will never consciously know how to improve yourself. In the book GOOD RELATIONSHIPS by Uldis Sprogis you will discover what good and bad habits are and then you can courageously proceed to decrease or totally eliminate some bad habits and replace them with more of your good habits and maybe even some good new ones.

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4800 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1305!!!

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4600 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1296!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4600 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

ANOTHER PSYCHOLOGICAL RESEARCH FAILURE TRYING TO BE SCIENTIFIC!!!

I will logically try to explain why humans can’t be stereotyped into personality types!

https://uldissprogis.com/2017/08/24/the-truth-about-the-big-5-personality-traits/

As described in the above article or the truth about the big 5 personality traits there are actually only three discernible personality types not traits which are trustworthiness, extroversion, and conscientiousness.

Trustworthiness: adj. having integrity and dependability and competence

Extrovert: n. a sociable human with a tendency to be overtly expressive.

Conscientious: adj. adequate caring and devoted effort to do right.

The new study, led by Luís Amaral of the McCormick School of Engineering, was published Sept. 17 by the journal Nature Human Behaviour.

The new proposed personality types are average, self-centered, role model, and reserved but none are defined accurately and are purely hypothetical undefined concepts so not very scientific to begin with.

According to Amaral who led the research effort only self-centered humans are actually low in conscientiousness and I would venture to say that there are degrees of conscientiousness and that not all average, reserved, and role model types are conscientious to the same degree as that shown by the questionnaire results. Teenagers were used to measure conscientiousness and yes, many teenagers are not that conscientious but that is a function of immaturity or age and not a measure of adult self-centeredness which may not have low levels of conscientiousness unless you are talking about immature adults.

Measuring extroversion, it seems that all 4 categories had about the same degree of extroversion and frankly many of those are actually introverts which the test did not test for. So measuring the degree of extroversion was a useless waste of effort since it didn’t vary in any of the 4 categories. All 4 categories were extroverts.

The degree of trustworthiness is the most significant variable in a personality and frankly there was no test for it in the questionnaire. How trustworthy were the average, reserved, self-centered, and role model types? Vastly unknown, a significant variable which was not tested for. The ultimate determiner of successful human interactions or relationships is the degree to which you are trusted by other humans. If you are not very trustworthy or moral, honest, dependable, and competent then you are definitely not a role model type and probably just average with a certain degree of untrustworthiness as would be the case for the average, reserved, and self-centered humans.

The 4 personality types are not unique without overlap. Basically you could say that the role model type is the leader type and the average type are the followers. However, even some average parents are good role models or leaders for their offspring so the leader-led dichotomy is not unique personality types without overlap.

Reserved humans can be considered to be more introverted or less sociable so it can be said that most reserved humans are introverts as a personality type. So two more distinct personality types could be grouped into introverts or extroverts with considerable overlap in many cases because an introvert may be very reserved in public but very extroverted with coworkers on a job which he or she is doing competently.

Self-centered or selfish individuals can also be role models or leaders such as unusual Trump and many other politicians who use their position to selfishly increase personal wealth. So once again this proves that there are no distinct personality types or characteristics which you can assign to an individual since every individual is unique and has overlapping personality types or characteristics at certain times and under certain circumstances. Every individual has degrees of personality types or characteristics so you can say that most individuals are average in being led, below average in role model characteristics, average in selfishness or self-centeredness, and below average in reservedness or introversion.

How trustworthy were the individuals taking the questionnaires and to what degree did some of them try to deceive or lie? Can a questionnaire really test for trustworthiness or is this going to be the eternal unknown in psychology?

A human at times has been observed to be rude, uncaring, inconsiderate, selfish, sympathetic, extroverted, secretive, argumentative, deceptive, generous, confident, aggressive, etc.  What personality type does he or she fit into? The answer is none of the above! The unanswered question is how FREQUENTLY is the human rude, uncaring, inconsiderate, selfish, sympathetic, extroverted, secretive, etc?

Humans can’t be pigeon holed into distinct personality types or characteristics under all times and circumstances because often the time and the circumstance dictates how a human will react or behave. Frankly there are too many undefined variables in any personality analysis and no one human fits neatly into one or more stereotyped categories or personality types.

There is moral and immoral human behavior but you can’t argue that there is a moral and and immoral personality type because there are degrees of morality and immorality depending on what human you are talking about.

Conclusion:

Using 5 undefined personality traits to describe 4 new personality types also undefined is absurdity. Merely using 5 undefined dubious personality traits is not even closely being scientific and certainly not worthy of publication and dissemination to academia or the general public. It is pure BS research and gives psychologists an even worse reputation than before as being a lot of hot air and nothing less. The sad fact is that the questionnaires used in the research are useless to any logically thinking human and just politically correct ideology to make psychologists feel good about themselves and their shoddy profession.

 

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4500 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1186!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/

UPDATED NEW QUOTE BY ULDIS SPROGIS 1175!!!

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 4400 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially EVERGREEN TRUTH, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.

Enjoy!!!!!!

If you enjoyed this blog then here is a list of my most popular ones which you may also enjoy!!!

https://uldissprogis.com/zlist-of-my-most-popular-blogs/