Tag Archives: verbal fighting



Arguing is a form of verbal fighting where each side tries to dominate, win, or force the other into submission. Arguing starts in childhood with arguments about who’s turn it is, who is stronger, who is stupid, or who has the strongest or best dad or mom.

Unfortunately these largely illogical confrontations exist on into adulthood for humans who have not learned to calmly talk out, discuss, and sometimes compromise about life’s problems, situations, and differing opinions.

Adult arguments frequently lead to name calling, bad feelings of being offended, abused, wrongly criticized, or unjustly attacked. This sometimes even causes vengeful feelings or wanting to get back at and punish the offender in some way.

Arguments are inevitable in most relationships and the important thing to keep in mind is that if you were the unjust aggressor then you should apologize and say that you are sorry. Sometimes you can try to make up for the bad confrontation in some way by doing something nice or promising that you will not argue about the same thing again.

A confrontational language with a bias for yes or no, love or hate, and right or wrong communications prevents many from stopping and LISTENING CAREFULLY to each other and asking some logical questions. By calmly discussing you may actually find out that neither of you is totally wrong or right but that each has a valid point of view and that compromise or accepting another’s point of view is sometimes a logical acceptable way out.


Arguing is childish fighting and adults should learn to communicate with almost no fighting at all for best results and healthy relationships. Listen carefully to each point of view, calmly ask some follow up questions, and discuss the situation in an adult way. When you do argue then apologize if you are the aggressor and have hurt another’s feelings or attacked another’s beliefs or opinions unjustly.

Argument:  n. very intense sensory disagreement


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We get angry when someone steals from us, when someone lies to us, when someone does not fulfill a promise, when someone deceives us, when someone unjustly criticizes us, when someone challenges our strong beliefs and/or opinions, and we get angry at ourselves when we make stupid mistakes.

 Anger is fundamentally verbal fighting between adults without much reason or logical dialogue so it should not be tolerated by civilized communicators.

When someone is immoral or steals, lies, deceives, and commits adultery we are justified in being angry but we should try to control our anger as much as possible if someone criticizes us for our behavior or challenges our strong beliefs and/or opinions.


Humans behave differently and have different opinions on subjects and confronting them strongly with your opinions and what you consider proper behavior will frequently result in angry conflict which should be avoided unless their opinions and behavior will greatly impact your own lifestyle.


Learn the art of civilized discussion as soon as possible and leave behind the world of angry confrontations which will make your life a fighting hell with very little problem solving and mutual agreement going on.


Do more listening than talking and ask questions to probe why a human behaved in the way that they did which angered you. They may communicate a reason to you which is valid from their point of view and you may find that your initial desire to get angry was not fully justified.


If you are anger prone or have a short fuse then try to calm down by not saying anything at all until you can communicate in a normal tone of voice.

If you get angry over rather trivial and unimportant things in your life then you may have to take a course in anger management but for normal humans you should reserve your angry outbursts to important priorities in your life which can be changed for the better.


Don’t get angry at things you can’t change. You will not be able to change politics, religion, economics, strong beliefs, and sports. Getting angry over these topics is a complete waste of time. Arguing over taste in fashion, possessions, and food is also a waste of time and you will be very unsatisfied after you argue about them because there will be no winners.


Before trying to change others improve yourself and start controlling your anger without an overt display of anger. In a calm and collected fashion start to constructively approach problems or things which you know that you can change in yourself and others.


Yes, many things in life, especially many of the behaviors of your spouse or significant other are largely unchangeable without draconian measures and when you realize what those unchangeable things are then you should stop being angry at them and adjust or adapt accordingly.


Reserve your angry tone of voice for your offspring when they misbehave or do something immoral or very bad but be judicious in your use of an angry dictatorial tone of voice when communicating with adults in your life. There should be no winners and losers in a conversation but mutual winners which is possible if you don’t try to verbally force yourself on others through angry confrontations.


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If you argue for entertainment or fun stop the bad habit because you will start unnecessary arguments impulsively with other humans when it is not appropriate.

Arguing with someone’s opinion which you disagree with will only lead to random emotional behavior which will waste time and energy without achieving a useful goal. You will not change a person’s mind with emotional righteousness and little logic but if you emphasize the important points with firmly said words you may succeed in updating their opinions which will adjust more with your own.

Don’t argue but try to discuss a topic as unemotionally as possible. If your opinion is weak and has only one or a few important provable facts use those to express disagreement. Permit your opponent to make the important points first and agree with the important ones which you also agree with. If you can’t answer an opinion with facts then remain silent and don’t push the topic further. Avoid as many arguments as you can because arguments frequently only express emotional disapproval and don’t solve any important problems.

There is no right method to argue or a wrong method to argue. All arguments are bad for you and your family and society. You will get angry at many things in your life but decrease anger as much as possible and count to 10 or even more until you are calm enough to continue a discussion and not an argument. If you can’t control your anger seek anger management help from a professional or start reading as much factual information as possible and not emotion filled literary works and hyped up emotional shows on TV and the media.

CONCLUSION: Arguing is verbal fighting or verbal abuse and one of you or both will get emotionally hurt by an argument. If you discuss any problem and use as many facts as you can come up with without getting emotional over it you will have a better chance of finding a solution. An attempted logical discussion, even if it fails, will not hurt your feelings as much and not leave you emotionally scared and wanting revenge or an apology.

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