Tag Archives: white lies

WHAT TO SAY INSTEAD OF THESE 5 WHITE LIES!!!

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Many humans are embarrassed at their bad memories for names and will sometimes lie and say “Oh, yea I remember you.” Instead say “You look very familiar but I’m afraid your name escapes me for the moment. What is it again?” This is a far more honest answer to an embarrassing situation.

If you are a respected leader in an important authoritarian position then you won’t last long with a bad memory for names and never stay in that important leadership position with this white lie approach.

How many times have you heard the expression “I love it!” especially coming from women and girls who exaggerate reality just to make someone feel good about themselves and their choices. I love that dress, jewelry, handbag, shoes, swimwear, etc. demonstrating a total lack of standards of quality. They also expect to hear those same words from the men in their lives who may not approve or have a dislike but are desperate just not to hurt the feelings of a significant other.

A dress is either OK, you like it, it’s sexy, like it much, and don’t like something about it. Almost no one falls in love with a dress, etc. for a long duration and it is just a momentary expression of extreme exaggerated lying approval.

What I like to say is something good about the dress or any other item which I am commenting on if it is not totally my favorite. I like the pattern, it has nice symmetry, the color combination is nice, the style is good, the cut of the dress is fine, it is sexy enough, or it has eye appeal.

But I never fail to point out what I may not like about it too by saying it is a little bit too busy, the color combination could be better, it is too asymmetric, it is not my favorite color, the style is too formal or informal, and the pattern is not one of my favorites, it is too sexy, the style is a little dated, the cut is too high or too low to be one of my favorites, I liked your previous dress better, it’s for an older or younger woman, etc.

Be honest but in a nice way and say in a discriminating fashion what you like about it the most and what you consider some of its flaws. It’s beautiful or ugly shows a lack of logical discriminating ability which is unfortunately rampant in this society so determined to be liked or so determined not to emotionally hurt someone.

“I am busy that day.” When your schedule is blank is another unnecessary white lie. Say instead “I have other plans that day.” Which is more honest because there is a high probability that if you like to do much and are busy on a moment’s notice sometimes then it is a totally believable more honest excuse and you may be making new plans for that time slot in a few hours or days.

“I totally forgot to do that thing you asked me to do.” If you didn’t forget then it is the sign of a liar who doesn’t fulfill promises and will not be liked for it and your reputation as a dependable person will begin to be destroyed. Instead if you honestly forgot to fulfill a promise then say “I am very sorry and apologize and promise that I will not let it happen another time.” If you don’t intend on fulfilling a promise then don’t make it in the first place and avoid having to make up some phony excuse for not fulfilling the promise.

Saying “I’m fine.” When you are not is another white lie not worth making. Humans can frequently sense by your tone of voice, body language, and facial expression that there is something troubling you and putting up a false front will create suspicions that you lie about your feelings and once again a suspicion of dishonesty will only hurt your reputation in the long duration. Say instead “I am not fine right now but I will get over it soon or by tomorrow.”

White lies are dishonesty in action and if you don’t get personally physically or emotionally scarred by lying then your reputation will definitely suffer in the long duration and almost no one will want to become a loyal respectful friend of yours in the long duration.

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HOW TO AVOID WHITE LIES

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When we do something wrong or are having a difficult day it is a common human tendency to want to make a lying excuse for it or to try to conceal it with a lie.

We frequently habitually answer “I’m fine” when asked how you are doing even though we may have had a bad day and are stressed out. A truthful answer would be I’m having a rough day or I have problems to solve. If you answer truthfully then there is the possibility of a follow up question “How bad a day are you having?”

I frequently answer that I am having a great day even though I may have had some difficulties that day to strangers or humans such as bank tellers because even my bad days are great days because I am alive and have an optimistic attitude that I will resolve my problems sooner or later.

If asked how my day was from a family member or a close friend then that is the time I will honestly tell them what a problematic day I am having.

Instead of answering fine I say good, OK, or great day and don’t feel that I am lying because it signifies confidence and happiness even though you may have transient problems in your life which are never eternal.

Is it a white lie? Technically yes but realistically NO.

Many frequently answer “That was delicious” to a lousy meal at someone’s house which is visited. I frequently answer good but a little too spicy, a little too bland, or a little too sweet for my taste if asked to give an opinion on the bad meal.  At the very end when leaving just thank them for the meal but leave out great, delicious, or tasty. You don’t have to rave about a meal that was not personally tasty for you just to make someone feel good about themselves.

Not being punctual or not realizing that no one likes to waste their time and energy leads to many lies in the form of untrue promises. I’ll be there in two seconds when five minutes to a half hour is what you really mean to do. I’ll be ready in 5 minutes when you really mean much more time than that. I’ll be home in 5 minutes when you will take your sweet time and show up an hour late. “Sorry, I’m late” when you overslept or wasted time doing something else and not preparing to show up on time.

A real problem is the fact that humans do not schedule their lives or live it by the clock away from work and have a very casual attitude about the importance of time in other human’s lives. Most humans are not conscious about their time away from work and irresponsibly lie about it in their everyday lives without knowing it is a very bad inefficient habit.

“Sorry I missed your call” is frequently a lie because we don’t like the pestering or boring caller or had more important things to do. I don’t have boring or pestering callers as friends or acquaintances so I never run into this problem. If I have an unimportant call I don’t answer it and if I want to answer then I keep it short and sweet and don’t waste my time talking to someone unimportant in my life.

“I’ll do it tomorrow” is frequently the lie in the form of a promise of a procrastinator who does not want to fulfill his responsibility to do something in a timely way and when tomorrow comes he will try to delay it some more. If you have the time and are not honestly doing something more important then force yourself off your butt and do it right away and you won’t have to lie or procrastinate.

“Thank you so much. I just loved it!” is a lie designed to avoid hurt feelings about a bad gift and you may have been brainwashed by society into thinking that you are an insensitive jerk if you don’t lie. The truth is that you are being an insensitive ass kisser promoting further inappropriate gifts by the gift giver. It is much better to just honestly say “thank you but I will rarely be using it” to an inappropriate or bad gift.

“Yea, you look great in that dress” is a social lie which is supposed to prevent immediate arguments or bad feelings. The truth is that if you praise a bad looking dress you will get more of them the next time and your disappointment will increase in your life.

If I don’t like my wife’s dress I say it is OK but add that it is not my favorite style, not my favorite pattern, not my favorite color combination, the dress is too busy, or the dress could be more elegant. Make sure your wife knows what your favorite colors, patterns, and styles are and your chances will increase that she will gradually start to try to please you more the next time around. Honesty is the best policy and I haven’t angered by wife or been slapped for my honest comments on clothes so far nor do I expect to receive anger or to be slapped in the future.

If you do like a dress then instead of raving that its beautiful give a reason for your approval and say I like the color, the pattern, the style, the color combination, its sexy, or I like short sleeves. This way you will create the impression that you know a little about fashion and your opinion will be respected.

“If you don’t come with me now I will leave you here by yourself” is an irresponsible parental lie which tries to motivate a child through fear of abandonment. It is far better to say that “if you don’t come now I won’t take you out as frequently as I do” or “I won’t bring you here again for a long time” if you really mean it. You can motivate an offspring with fear but just be sure that it is a realistic fear and not a made up fear which is illogical and a lie.

White lies are just not worth doing if you want to be respected and admired by others, especially your offspring and have a reputation as being honest and sincere and not a deceiving liar. Humans will trust your opinions and benefit from your honest comments and not doubt that you are just saying nice things to make them feel good about themselves.

The white lies are frequently told to casual friends and acquaintances and it becomes a bad habit which you will start practicing on close friends and family with whom you should be honest all the time.  White lies done to make someone emotionally feel good which are not true make you seem like an undiscriminating fool who approves of everything.

 

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